Reading Reviews From Member: krazyboutharryginny
  
428 Reviews Found

Review #1, by krazyboutharryginnyCount the Ways: Chapter 1

11th February 2016:
TAMMI! YOU ARE BRILLIANT!

This story is fantastic! I loved it so much! :D

You have done such a perfect job with Sirius' characterization! Now, we all know that I love to write Sirius, but we also all know that I invariably love to make him suffer (*shakes head at self*). However, you have done an amazing job of capturing his happy side! You got his sense of humour and drama queen personality down to a tee!

Your own wonderful sense of humour really shone through in this, and there were so many lines that made me laugh out loud :D James, Sirius, and Lily were brilliant together, their interactions were just really well done.

Also, your Harry is so good in this. I thought you were very true to his character, and I loved his sassiness (which he was clearly picking up from Sirius ;) ).

And! Diagon Alley Primary School! That's brilliant, honestly, I absolutely love that idea. And Remus as Harry's art teacher - already a brilliant concept!

Speaking of Remus, he was excellent too. I loved his dry line about his desk, and the cheesy "masterpiece in my office" line!

*sighs happily* I love these ridiculous boys (and Lily of course) and you have done such a brilliant job with them - and with this pairing - in this story! :D A+ dialogue, A+ characterization, and A+ internal dialogue from Sirius!

Brilliant work, Tammi!

-Kayla

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Review #2, by krazyboutharryginnyTessellate: The Beginning

10th February 2016:
YES I LOVE THIS!

*ahem*

Hello.

I saw you posting about this on Twitter, I think, and then just now you posted a link and I was so excited to come check this out! I really like this first chapter and I'm so pumped to see where you go from here.

Lucy is a really unique and interesting character. I loved that you showed us her unusual thought processes (e.g. wanting to do an examination on the physics of Oz's hair). I also loved her obvious crush on Divya Singh. (I really need to read more stories about gay girls because they make my heart sing.)

I thought you did quite a good job introducing the many OCs in this chapter and giving us a sense of their personalities. However, I did find it slightly difficult to keep up with who was being referred to, as there were some switches between first and last names (e.g. Divya Singh sometimes being referred to as "Divya" and other times as "Singh"). I usually managed to figure out which character it was through context clues, but it distracted me and pulled me out of the story while I figured it out. Maybe the first time you introduce each character you could use their first and last name, or be consistent with which one is being used by other characters.

I'm really excited to see further development of all the characters in this, as they all have huge potential. And I'm looking forward to seeing Lucy and Alexandria's relationship develop, too!

Love this!

-Kayla

Author's Response: Hey Kayla, thanks so much for the review!! I'm so glad that you're enjoying the story.

I've been hyping this on twitter a little too much I think...I need to stop doing that. Glad it hasn't disappointed so far though! :)

I'm glad Lucy comes off that way-- I couldn't tell if it was fun/interesting or just annoying to write her like this. Ah her crush on Divya...so obvious. We'll see where that goes. ;) (Side note: I started this as an entry for the femslash challenge, but then I disappeared into a black hole of homework, and now I've continued the story. I flirted with the idea of switching away from femslash, and then I was like, no, representation is important and why wouldn't Lucy be gay? And here we are.)

Thank you so much for your comments on this!! I really appreciate this feedback and I'm going to go back and edit it a bit to make it easier to follow. I've been thinking about the characters so much that it wasn't something I was thinking about as a reader, or how it would come off.

Thanks again for your enthusiasm! I hope you continue to enjoy it when I get around to writing more of it. :P

--J


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Review #3, by krazyboutharryginnyYou Don't Own Me: Don't

7th February 2016:
Hey Rose, here for our swap.

I hope it's okay that I decided to R&R this story. It has a lot of reviews already, but I saw that it had won first place in a challenge and I really wanted to check it out.

This story is so powerful. It's painful and raw, and it manages to be pretty tasteful in describing horrific abuse, which is quite the accomplishment.

I thought it was really effective how you sort of laid out the abuse cycle early in the story (tension - argument - assault - assuage - comfort) and then, when we actually saw an episode of the abuse take place, you sort of used those parts of the cycle as headers (? I didn't describe that well at all, but yeah).

Your writing was so evocative and I really had an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach while reading this. Especially when Scorpius defended Corbin, to others or himself, even though you could tell he knew in his gut how completely wrong the whole situation was. From what I know, that's very accurate to what actually happens in abusive relationships, but it just was so difficult to read Scorpius going through that.

You did an amazing job of accurately depicting an abusive relationship, especially the isolation aspect (how abusers cut their victims off from friends and family). I was so relieved when Scorpius reached out for help and when Albus immediately responded. I also absolutely adored how Rose insisted on accompanying Albus, and that Harry went too - he may have a bad past with Scorpius' father, but that was something that Harry would absolutely do.

This was a really difficult story, but it had amazing moments of hope, and a such a hopeful ending. You really did such an excellent job on this piece, Rose.

-Kayla

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Review #4, by krazyboutharryginnyStranger: 12 Years Old

3rd February 2016:
Hi again, Kaitlin!

This was another very well-done chapter. Again, I didn't notice anything wrong with the way you talked about trans issues (although, like I said, my experience is limited).

So obviously puberty is kind of a weird time for everyone, but it's clear that Millicent's experience is going beyond that standard weirdness. Also, I'm pretty sure most girls hate something about their bodies and want to change something about the way they look, but again, this goes beyond that (especially with the context of the last chapter).

I really liked that you made Pansy sort of a sympathetic character in this. (Millicent too, of course, but Pansy is someone who is more actively antagonistic in the books.) You really have a knack for taking minor characters and giving them new depth and dimensions. It's something I really, really admire about you!

I think you're doing a fantastic job with this story so far, and it's probably one of my favourite works of yours that I've read. I'm excited to read more!

-Kayla

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Review #5, by krazyboutharryginnyStranger: 7 Years Old

1st February 2016:
KAITLIN! (I can't do emojis in reviews but imagine that that :wub: emoji is here like 10 times)

First of all, I'm so touched by your incredibly sweet dedication. You're so awesome and I'm really lucky to have you as a friend!

You did SUCH a good job on this first chapter. I definitely didn't notice anything wrong with it (although I am 100% not an expert). Although I don't have personal experience, this seems to me to be a realistic portrayal of the way a child would experience gender dysphoria. I thought that her tying her hair back out of her face was a really good touch.

Even aside from the dysphoria aspect of this, I thought you did such a great job capturing the mindset of a child. I could clearly picture Millicent standing there guiltily while Tinka searched her bedroom. So really awesome job with that!

I was kind of whatever about Millicent's mom (like, I didn't like her but I didn't hate her guts) until I got to "Keep resisting and I will petrify you and put them on you myself", at which point I was STRONGLY reminded of my Walburga and was filled with some serious (heh) dislike.

Anyways, AWESOME job on this chapter, and thank you again for the lovely dedication. Seriously, that means a lot, especially coming from you.

Hugs!

-Kayla

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Review #6, by krazyboutharryginnyAzkaban: Firestorm

30th January 2016:
TEAM GOLD!

Kaitlin, I am so impressed with this first chapter. Your concepts are always so original and compelling, and this one is no exception.

I absolutely love the idea of Draco Malfoy as a lawyer. I don't think I've ever seen that done before, and I think it's such a cool idea.

I also happen to be a fan of stories where the Potter kids struggle with their parents' legacy and living up to expectations. It's sad, but unfortunately I feel like it could easily be reality :/ Although, Lily committing murder is DEFINITELY something I've never seen before. I'm very interested to learn what happened there and see what direction you take it in.

The combination of those things - Malfoy as Lily's lawyer - THAT's certainly going to be interesting! There's so much potential that's clear in this story already and I really hope there'll be a new chapter soon (although I know how busy you are with challenges and such).

Oh, one other thing - I liked the detail you included about the Dementors being removed from Azkaban, but that there was still a lingering feeling from their presence.

Great job on this first chapter, Kaitlin! I'm so excited to see where you go with it!

-Kayla

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Review #7, by krazyboutharryginnyRetribution: Capture

30th January 2016:
Kaitlin! It's been way too long since I stopped by your AP - I'm so behind! Anyway, right now I'm here for the red vs gold review battle, and I'm on TEAM GOLD!

So I was really curious to see where you'd take this challenge, seeing as (like you said) we all know that Bellatrix is evil. I was quite impressed with the direction you decided to take it in - showing how brutal and vicious Bellatrix was as a teenager at Hogwarts, even toward her own sister(s).

There were a lot of elements in this that really showed how twisted Bellatrix was. There was the viciousness towards her own sister of course, but I was almost more struck by her violence and hatred towards people who were practically strangers. It made sense for Bellatrix to hate Andromeda, even though it was misguided and over-the-top hatred. It even made sense for her to hate Ted, based on her bigoted ideology. Her hatred towards McGonagall -and how violent it was - was what really stuck out to me.

Your use of language was really good in this. It truly revealed the depth of Bellatrix's hatred and just how evil she was. The way she kept referring to Ted as "it" was an especially good touch.

Great work on this story and this challenge, Kaitlin! I think you handled your prompt in a really effective way!

-Kayla

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Review #8, by krazyboutharryginnyLoose Lips Sink Ships: I Know Places

14th January 2016:
Hey Ellie! So sorry that it took me so long to get here. I've had this open in a tab since you gave me the link, but only just got an opportunity to sit down and read it!

I think you did a really great job on this! I know it's your first Wolfstar, but you did such a good job exploring and portraying Remus, Sirius, and their feelings towards each other, that I honestly wouldn't have guessed if I hadn't known going in! I loved the entire first half so much, with the two of them running from the Death Eaters - I thought you did a wonderful job describing that, I could picture the two of them running together in my head. That sort of scenario has always been one that I find really fitting for this pairing.

Another thing I really enjoyed was the scene when they had just gotten out of the Thames and were sort of dealing with the shock of almost dying. There was this feeling of desperation when they kissed and also I liked how, when Remus perceived that Sirius was rejecting him, he was too tired to really register the significance. I thought that was really well done and realistic. I think my favourite line in this whole story is this one:
"My emotions tipped over the edge ages ago, my fear of his rejection drowned on the water."

For a little bit of CC: there were a handful of sentences and word choices that I found a bit clunky/awkward.
"The contact of our flesh lit a fire inside me that I didnít want to squelch anytime soon." The word "squelch" in this sentence is really not sitting right with me and actually kind of drew me out of the story for a second. Maybe "put out" or "extinguish" instead?
"For more than once in my life, I was grateful for the lack of a full moon." This is just kind of clunky. Maybe "Not for the first time, I was grateful..." or something similar?

That small bit of CC aside, I thought this story was wonderful and that you did a great job with your first attempt at this pairing! Excellent work!

-Kayla

Author's Response: Kayla!!

Don't apologize, this was quick and more than I expected, thanks for your kindness and the review in general :D

I'm glad you enjoyed this one-shot, and felt all the realistic aspects of what I was exploring here with Remus and Sirius. I always see them on the run too, and it's just such a visceral way to write them. I'm glad you saw the scene in your head, running is an awkward thing to write because it's a thing you just do haha.

I love CC, and appreciate your comments! I think you're 110 percent right and I have fixed those sections (along with some other bits that weren't as smooth). This is what I get for writing and posting something withing three hours without reading it over haha.

Thanks so much, I enjoyed your Wolfstar too btw ;)

Cheers,
ellie


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Review #9, by krazyboutharryginnyThe Fortunate Ones: Chapter 1

11th January 2016:
MEG! I cannot BELIEVE it has taken me so long to get here and read this story. I know I've told you how much I ADORE the concept, and I've been so excited to read the rest of this since you sent me that snippet. /hangs head in shame

Anyways, I'm here now, and I have SO MUCH to squee about!

First of all - I'm so honoured that you would dedicate this chapter to me. That really means a lot (I can't put hearts but imagine there's a gajillion of them right here).

Second of all - I recognize so many of Mary's feelings and emotions about Lily, and I just want to hug her and tell her it's all going to be okay! You wrote it all in such a real and vivid way. It honestly hurt my heart :( I really hope she'll be able to move past the feelings of "wrongness/badness" soon.

Third of all - omg I'm running out of coherent things to say. I just loved this. I think it's written so fantastically, I loved all the descriptions and I thought your word choice was really excellent. There were a couple of very minor grammar/spelling mistakes, but they were few and far between, and didn't detract from the story at all.

Just. Omg. Mary reading Hogwarts: A History all summer. Bonding with Lily because she did the same. How she wasn't intimidated by McGonagall at home, but was at school. All these little details made Mary such a real and wonderful character.

Also, I had a good giggle at "that rude boy with the long hair, his name was Sirius Black". My rude, long-haired baby :') I swear he grows out of it, Mary! Mostly!

Anyways, you did SUCH a fantastic job with this first chapter, and I absolutely cannot wait to keep reading!

Love and hugs!

-Kayla
TEAM GOLD

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Review #10, by krazyboutharryginnyNine Years: May 1st, 1998

10th January 2016:
Hi Emma! Here for our swap! Sorry it took me so long to get here, but I'm here now!

Oh my gosh, I absolutely love this. Fred/Lee (or George/Lee, tbh) is a pairing that I love but seriously haven't read enough of. There's so much about this that I enjoy and it's just really well done! The way the two of them come together in this is just fantastic and I can see this as something that would actually happen behind the scenes of the last book.

I loved your characterizations of Fred and Lee. I liked that we saw Lee's more serious side in his fear for the safety of Fred (as well as Katie, Oliver, the Quidditch players, etc). Almost on the flipside of that, I loved Fred's recklessness and his enthusiasm over the dragon.

Oh my goodness, I was so upset when I got to the end and realized what was going to happen in the near future. That this would be the last time they'd ever be together like this. That Fred was about to die. My heart honestly dropped into my stomach. I think that you ended it in a really powerful place.

Other things that I loved:
1) The Quidditch players helping out. Such a cool and wonderful idea that we didn't see in the books.
2) The whole situation with Lee being self-conscious about his body/looks, but not really feeling that way here with Fred. I think that's something a lot of us can relate to and I thought you handled it beautifully.
3) I thought your style/tone was great and very fitting for this piece. There was sort of a solemn and melancholy vibe about the whole thing that worked really, really well for me.

I'm definitely going to read and review chapter 2 asap! I love this, really great work :)

-Kayla

Author's Response: Hi Kayla!

I haven't read any Fred/Lee before so let me know if you have any recommendations!

I'm really glad you found Fred and Lee believable. Writing Fred's a bit scary because JK writes him so wonderfully and I obviously can't do him justice, so it's a relief that you liked him!

Thank you so much for such a lovely review :)

Emma xx


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Review #11, by krazyboutharryginnyTengu and a Daughter of Ninja: Fatherís Old Textbook (Prologue)

23rd December 2015:
Hi Kenny! I'm here for the Red vs Gold review battle in the CR. Team Gold!

As usual, this whole chapter is so interesting and unique. You're honestly so creative and all your stories have ideas in them that I would never ever think of myself. I don't think I've ever seen someone write Draco Malfoy as a Potions teacher at Hogwarts. I thought that was really interesting, and it was so neat how the exchange between him and Albus mirrored the scene between Snape and Harry in the first book. Also, I liked how Rose was similar to Hermione and had her hand in the air, eager to answer questions.

Most of this chapter is about Albus' potion class, but I loved all the mentions you slipped in of Albus' family/home life. One detail I particularly loved was that the kids had second-hand textbooks even though the family has lots of money, because Ginny wants to live a simple life. My other favourite detail was about Ginny teaching Albus the Bat-Bogey Hex after he was chased by reporters. With these passing details, you manage to reveal so much about the Potters as a family. It's really awesome!

Great job on the prologue, Kenny! I'll be back sometime to keep reading :)

-Kayla

Author's Response: Hi, Kayla! I'm so happy to see you come back to my story! It's always fun to read your feedback. I feel jealous at the same time that you can write such an insightful review. I wish I could write review like you do!

Talking of Draco, I've read some stories where he was a Potions professor or Potions shop owner but they were Drarry. You know what they are like. I didn't want to trace the same plot like them, I wanted to create another world, a kind of real mystery like J.K.Rowling's other works.

I'm also happy to hear you agree with the idea about Ginny's way of bringing up her children. :)

I'll read your new story as well! Keep writing, Kayla!

Kenny


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Review #12, by krazyboutharryginnyStar-Crossed : Party

19th December 2015:
Hello there! I'm here to leave a review for day 17 of the advent calendar :)

This story is off to a really great start. I admit, I was a bit hesitant to read a Filch romance - it's not a very appealing idea on the surface, is it? But at the same time, the fact that you even thought to do something like that made the story intriguing.

While reading, I was truly impressed by how much depth you brought out of Filch's character, and how sympathetic you made him. You managed to make Filch, a side character in the series who has basically no depth in canon, into this well-rounded character with friends (well, a friend, at least), an intriguing backstory, etc.

The story itself is very well-written. I didn't notice any problems with either the grammar or the plot :)

Your OCs are also excellent. Elodie and Todd are both well-crafted and vibrant characters.

I'm very interested to see what happens between Argus and Elodie, and I'll probably be back to continue reading sometime!

Great work!

-Kayla
Happy Holidays!

Author's Response: Thanks so much for stopping by! I understand your doubt, he's not a nice character at all, but I always thought there had to be something that made him this way!
Thank you very much for your review!


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Review #13, by krazyboutharryginnyHow I Met Your Father: Chapter 8: The Ultrasound

17th December 2015:
Hi Lizzie! It's me again! I'm here for the Red vs Gold review battle in the CR, and I'm joining you on Team GOLD!

I said this in my last review, but I totally love the relationship between Scorpius and Rose. It's so lovely and supportive. He's already such a huge help to her with this pregnancy and I imagine having him onboard will continue to make things easier as the story progresses :D (although... I could be wrong... /worries).

Awww, poor Roxy with her crush on Xander. I wonder what will happen there?! Cause it seems like he really likes Dom :(

Rose's scars got to me on a personal level unfortunately. I suppose we'll be learning more about that later in the story. I'm glad that Scorpius and Madame Bones left it alone when she asked them to, though.

I loved that Madame Bones was actually using a machine to perform the ultrasound. I like to think that the Wizarding World would pick up and adapt some Muggle technology after the second war, and I love when I see stuff like that in stories :D

I'll review the next chapter soon! Great work, Lizzie!

-Kayla

Author's Response: Kayla!

Yay! You're back!

Mwahahahaha. Yes, Rose and Scorpius do have a wonderful relationship... but I won't lie, there are some troubles ahead. :)

Ah, Xander... Unfortunately in the rewrites I'm doing for this story, I'm not sure how much of Xander's storyline will actually make it through. :( Don't worry though, he's not going away completely!

Rose's scars are DEFINITELY a sensitive subject, and a pretty big hint that not everything is as it seems in Rose's life. Where they came from and what they mean will come out eventually.

I wasn't actually sure whether or not I should include a machine for the ultrasound, but at the same time I couldn't come up with any spells that made sense for it, so I'm glad that you like that inclusion! I totally agree that the wizarding world would've begun incorporating Muggle technology into their world after the war though... it just seems like something that would come naturally after enough time.

Thanks again for R&R'ing Kayla!! :D
Lizzie


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Review #14, by krazyboutharryginnyTis The Season: Breaking The Fast

17th December 2015:
Hi Kaitlin! I'm here reviewing for Day 15 of the advent calendar :)

There's so much that I love about this story! First of all, I never imagined Demelza as Muslim - in fact, I never really put much thought into her character at all. So I think it's really awesome that you took a minor character and added to her character so much :)

Second of all, I don't know too much about Eid, but from what I can tell you did a beautiful and sensitive job of describing the festivities. It was very much a standard holiday story in that it focused on the caring relationship between Demelza and her family (and their community) and highlighted the joyfulness and spirit of the season, but you focused on a holiday that, unfortunately, gets overlooked all the time.

What really brought this story to life for me was your descriptions of the food! My mouth was practically watering. I don't that's not surprising, given your profession!

My only bit of criticism would be to be careful with the spelling of Demelza's last name - it's not consistent throughout the story. It switches between "Robbins" and "Robins" (I can't remember off the top of my head which one is correct).

I really enjoyed this, it's so sweet and beautifully done! :)

-Kayla
Happy Holidays!

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Review #15, by krazyboutharryginnyHow I Met Your Father: Chapter 7: Who's the Father?

17th December 2015:
Hi Lizzie! I'm here to leave you a gift review for Gryffindor Gift Tag :)

It's been a REALLY long time since I left a review on this story, so I decided now would be a good time! I love this chapter because it's so centred around the close friendship between Rose and her friends. It's so clear how much they care about each other and I love it so much :')

I also really love how you've given all three of them distinct personalities and they aren't Mary-Sue-ish (for lack of a better phrase). Lots of fics will have one friend who's loud and sassy and sleeps with everything that moves and another friend who's shy and quiet and terrified of boys. It gets kind of tiresome after a while. But you totally didn't do that here, which is awesome!

I also think Scorpius is really sweet, and I'm glad this isn't one of those teen pregnancy fics where the father is some immature, irresponsible bad boy who has to be basically forced into being involved with his child. Instead he really cares about Rose. It's so refreshing!

Also... I may have already said this, but I love mac and cheese with ketchup :'( I won't eat it without ketchup, in fact. I didn't realize that was a weird thing!

Anyways, great chapter! I'll read the next one soon!

-Kayla
Happy Holidays!

Author's Response: Kayla!

Ah, thanks for stopping by! It's definitely an excellent Christmas gift!

The dynamic Rose and her friends is actually one of the most enjoyable things to write about this story. They're all so different yet they get along really well - it's something that I've definitely experienced with my friends and I really wanted to show that. I'm glad you liked it!

Oh Scorpius. He's so idyllic at the beginning of this story. I really didn't want him to be portrayed the way that a lot of other Scorpius' are, so he's almost too good to be true.

But later on (in the chapters I haven't posted yet) there will be some pretty difficult stuff that will come along regarding Scorpius. He may or may not have some skeletons in his closet. *Cackles evilly*

MAC AND CHEESE WITH KETCHUP IS THE GREATEST THING EVER! It's really not that weird, in my opinion, but I've gotten a lot of comments on it before, which is why I decided to make it a thing with Rose. It's definitely a combo I haven't seen anywhere else.

So don't worry, you're not alone in loving mac & cheese with ketchup.

Anyway, thanks for R&R'ing Kayla! I really appreciate it!!
Lizzie


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Review #16, by krazyboutharryginnyAlmost: Almost

6th December 2015:
Hi Gabbie, here for our swap! I'm so so sorry about how late this is, omg. But I'm here now!

I've been meaning to read your George/Angelina fics! I've read all your recent blog posts and was really excited to know you were going to write more of this pairing. They're honestly under appreciated!

Aw man, I was hoping they were going to confess or something at the end! You've left this story on such a bittersweet note :( It does work though! But omg, they're both so clueless, I just want to shake them!

I absolutely love the relationship you've created between these two in this story. It's so sweet and genuine. I also love how you explored George's feelings and his more serious side while still maintaining his prankster personality and his goofiness. I thought you handled his character really well!

In relation to the point above, I really liked how you had George be good enough at Charms to help Angelina out. He and Fred got bad marks, but they were so smart! Their inventions for the shop were amazing. It would make sense that they'd be talented at things like Charms.

As for Angelina, I loved the depth you gave to her character - how she was serious about things (like studying) but also liked to goof around with George. And since we were mostly seeing her through George's eyes, it was clear what he saw in her and it was so sweet and wonderful!

(Also... I loved the description of Alicia and her sassy first meeting with Fred and George!)

I think you did a great job on this story! Thanks for the swap!

-Kayla

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Review #17, by krazyboutharryginnyturn to dust. : five.

4th November 2015:
Hey Erin! I saw that you wanted some feedback on this, and then I saw the Remus/Sirius tag and I was like "YEP TIME TO READ" so here I am haha.

Linguistically, this entire thing is absolutely stunning. Like, it took my breath away. (Literally, after I read 2 I had to stop for a minute to take some deep breaths and get my emotions under control.) And I can definitely understand you finding this overwhelming emotionally while writing. There is SO much emotion crammed into so few words (I didn't want to say "crammed into" because it sounds like it doesn't fit - it does, it's amazing, I'm in awe, but I couldn't think how else to word it).

Now, here's the thing with the PoVs. I got 1 and 2 easily. At 3, it got harder. The first line suggested that it was Remus' PoV, but I think that I was thrown off by the timeline - it sort of jumps back to their school days for a minute, and that had me a bit confused. And then, as far as I can tell, 4 is Voldemort and 5 is Dumbledore, but I had to look at the tags again to make sure I wasn't imagining things/guessing wrong. I think my problem there was that you had 3 Marauder point of view sections in a row, then suddenly it was from Voldemort's point of view, which is quite a leap. This is probably just me and the way my brain works/makes connections though. If anything, maybe you could put some additional separation between 1/2/3 and 4/5?

I'm not sure if any of this is helpful, but I hope it was! And I want to make sure it's absolutely clear that section 2 absolutely CRUSHED my poor Wolfstar-shipping heart :( In just 100 words you managed to capture so much of what I imagine about their relationship and in such a poignant way. I'm blown away.

Overall, this is VERY impressive and I was completely in awe while reading it. Amazing work, Erin!

-Kayla

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Review #18, by krazyboutharryginnyEidolon: Yellow Cotton

29th October 2015:
Hello! Here to leave my review for our swap :)

This is kind of one of those stories where I go to write a review and just don't even have words for how wonderful it is, and just end up kind of squealing and gushing...

Your use of language is absolutely STUNNING. I'm in awe. Your descriptions are beautiful and very evocative. Using the description of the red wine to transition into talking about blood, and then from talking about blood to talking about family, was completely brilliant and had me hooked right away.

This is such a sad story because it's so real and so complicated. You can definitely understand James' reasons for leaving (more on James in a second), and at the beginning you don't really fault him. You can tell how resentful he is and that he has really been hurt, intentionally or not, by his family. Then you get to Albus' letter, and you realize that his family hasn't intentionally done anything to hurt him, and that they're all hurting too - that his leaving has profoundly affected their lives and their relationships - and it's just heartbreaking, because there's no "right answer" to the problem and no easy solution.

I was very relieved and happy that James decided to go to Albus' party, especially because of how Albus said in his letter to Teddy that he would give up if James didn't respond. But then he just seemed so miserable, not even a little bit excited to see his younger brother, and everything was so tense with Hannah, and then he ran away from George and... :( I don't know where things will go from here, I really don't!

Now, I said I had more to say about James, so here it is. I was really not expecting it to be him. Reading the whole first chunk, I thought it would be Albus. That's always how it is in fanfictions - James is the wildly popular older brother and Albus is the black sheep of the family who ends up bitter and resentful. I suspect this was somewhat intentional, judging by your careful avoidance of names in the text and the summary. When I realized it was James, I was actually really excited because I don't think I've EVER read a fic that placed James as the black sheep, or where he was an academic, before this one.

So yeah, TL;DR- you have an incredible way with words, you've very effectively tackled something painful and realistic and complicated, and you've done something really unique with your characterization. This is just absolutely amazing and I hope you post a new chapter soon!

-Kayla

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Review #19, by krazyboutharryginnyGoodbye, Love, Goodbye: Sirius, Sirius, Sirius

28th October 2015:
Hi! Here for our swap!

Okay, so, I had to read this when I saw it on your AP because I LOVE Wolfstar! And I knew that it would probably make me sad (as so many Wolfstars do) but I read it anyway, and I'm super glad I did! Even though it did, in fact, make me sad.

Sirius is my favourite character, so when I think about Wolfstar it's often framed through him. So it was really awesome to read this more Remus-centered Wolfstar. I absolutely love the language you've used, it's so powerful and really invokes the sort of feelings of longing and helplessness that one gets in this sort of situation (suffering in the closet over a crush on a friend). (I speak from experience lol)

"You always assumed you would be the one to disappear, to crumble under the weight of monstrosity and lash out in a desperate struggle for escape." OUCH! This is an absolutely stunning sentence, one of the most striking ones in the entire story. I feel like it captures perfectly this element of Remus which is often underexplored - this sort of self-loathing.

I absolutely loved the addition of the italicized text in the brackets. I thought that really enhanced the story, almost made it feel more personal? I'm not exactly sure how to describe it but yeah, I really liked that!

Your descriptions and language are so evocative and powerful, conjuring not only images but also lots of emotions. Your characterization of Remus is, in my opinion, spot on. The ending of the story, whether it's read as Sirius' death or his arrest, is absolutely crushing as a result. I'm very impressed with this! Amazing job!

-Kayla

Author's Response: Hi Kayla!

I LOVE your review, especially because I feel like I've gotten a lot of feedback focused on the back-and-forth aspect of the story, but you just treated it like any other story, which is so helpful!

I completely agree with you that Remus isn't always as fully explored as he could be. I'm so glad you liked that sentence, and the way I wrote him.

Really, thank you so much for your super kind review! *hug* I'd love to swap again :)
xoxo Renee


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Review #20, by krazyboutharryginnyM∑A∑R∑A∑U∑D∑E∑R∑S: The One With The Very Merry Little Christmas

24th October 2015:
Heya Lauren! I'm here with my review for October's review swap :)

I'm very glad we ended up partners, and I was super excited to read this story. As I'm sure you know, I absolutely love the Marauders, and I was really happy to get to read a story about them for the swap.

This fic is very sweet and was a super fun read. There was no major drama or anything like that, just loads of cuteness and revelry! Woohoo! :D

I adored the way you wrote James' parents and how they were with James, they were pretty much exactly how I imagine them personality-wise and their interactions were just lovely. It was clear they adored their son and that he loved them just as much. There was some lighthearted teasing from both ends but that happens in loads of families and was totally believable, and didn't detract from the caring atmosphere.

Peter getting stuck inside the turkey! Ew! That's so disgusting XD Totally something I can see them getting up to though.

I was reading this on the subway (I had it preloaded on Chrome, I didn't have wifi on the subway lol) and I was smiling so much and trying not to laugh out loud at the story the boys told about the Quaffle. The way it was written was very true to their characters and it seemed like the way they would actually tell the story.

The quiz was a very interesting idea, and I was surprised that the girls won! I thought since Sirius and Marlene dated and James had that huge crush on Lily that they would know more and would win. I could see what James was going for with his sneaky phrasing when he set up the bet, though, and so I wasn't worried about the outcome.

The cheesecake! Oh no! Poor Marlene! Everyone was so nice about it though. XD

The secret santa scene was also lovely and very in-character. I was grinning my face off about Remus buying Sirius leather pants and him being so excited about them. All the presents were very well thought-out and I was super impressed that you managed to select them so well. Also, Sirius' present for Lily (with James' influence) was so sweet. I was actually quite surprised when she kissed him and wasn't expecting it at all, but I thought it was a very cute moment and it fit perfectly.

The ending was just as sweet as the rest of the story, especially with James kissing Lily's hand and with Sirius and Remus napping together. (I admit I was disappointed that there wasn't a bit more Wolfstar, but you know me ;) and the Jily was so cute that it more than made up for it.)

As for criticisms, the only thing I have is that there are a couple of places where the wording is a little awkward or the grammar/spelling is a bit off (e.g. at one point James' mum says "mouthful" where it should've been "mouth full") but it was all very minor and didn't detract from the story at all.

The FRIENDS references, I didn't notice, but I've never watched the show so that's to be expected.

I really loved reading this and I'm super happy we were matched for the swap! Wonderful work, Lauren!

-Kayla

(P.S. holy cow this is a long review. Possibly the longest one I've ever written. Oop.)

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Review #21, by krazyboutharryginnyThe Adventures of Abigail Higgs and Potter Boy: The One With The Change In Friendship

18th October 2015:
Hehe, it's going to be fun reviewing this on reread :P

Poor Abigail. She's so confused just by James being nice to her, and all he's doing is saying hello. Her self-esteem is so low in these earlier chapters and it makes me so sad for her :(

Ugh. Michelle. She's horrible. She keeps saying things trying to undercut any happiness Abigail feels. It's quite vicious, honestly, and it's really not helping Abigail's self-esteem problem. But it's good that here she's kind of recognizing what Michelle's saying for what it is (jealousy) and not getting worked up about James. Although unfortunately there's that moment where she's worried she's overreacting. Urgh, I just wanna hug her!!

And James! He's such a total cutie. When he said it's "incredibly cheeky" of him to ask for some spare parchment, I actually giggled. I could imagine the hopeful sort of look on his face and just! Awww! James... *heart eyes*.

I love this story so much! I'm really sorry it's taken me so long to leave another review and I hope I'll be able to leave another soon!

-Kayla
(btw... the House of Horrors is REAL!)

Author's Response: Yay! I'm so glad! I love hearing what you think of it.

She really is, I just want her to trust James. Poor girl. But, she is slowly getting there with her confidence. We should all just form one giant group hug around her to protect her from harm.

Awww yay, I'm happy that you giggled, he is such a cheeky chappy. I love writing him so much.

Awww thank you so much Kayla! I'm so happy that you love this story so much! *heart eyes for you*


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Review #22, by krazyboutharryginnyPurification: Purification

1st October 2015:
Hey Kenny! It's been a while, but now I'm here to leave a review for the Red Vs Gold Review Battle in the CR. Team Gold!

This is definitely a really interesting story. You've brought a lot of unexpected elements into it, which is something I've noticed a lot in your work. For example, the charms that Hermione had created for herself and Ron. That kind of physical protective charm is something that's definitely underexplored in the book, so it was super cool that you incorporated them into this story.

Having Ron be under the Confundus Charm was a clever move. It kept the reader in suspense, wondering what had happened that he was forgetting. It was a little unclear, though, why he was with Harry and Neville in the Forbidden Forest, but then he was also portrayed as working at Weasley's Wizard Wheezes - was he an Auror and working with George part-time?

I also have one small suggestion. I think you should mention Bellatrix's ghost a little earlier in the story. At the beginning of the story you talk about it a lot more ambiguously, just mentioning the spirits of Death Eaters, so I was taken by surprise when you mentioned Bellatrix by name. Maybe you could say something like, "As Harry lay on the forest floor, a mad cackle echoed through the trees", because I think that even implying Bellatrix's presence without necessarily naming her would be effective.

Overall this is another cool story with an interesting plot and details. Great work, Kenny!

-Kayla

Author's Response: Hi, Kayla! Long time no see! I'm waiting for your third story, too.

The plot popped naturally in my mind in one Sunday morning. I'm sometimes in the similar situation as Ron's so I could start writing the first sentences.

Oh, thank you for your nice suggestion! I'll definitely add some descripitons about Bellatrix. I'm planning to edit this before Halloween. This story suits the story challenge well.

Your question is right. Ron was going to quit Auror's job after Hermione got pregnant in my story. He had been helping George from his trainee's time.

About the charm Hermione invented and the meaning of the title, "Purification" are based on Shintoism, I mixed the magical world with the ceremony performed by a Shinto priest, they have a common point in driving out evil spirits.

Kenny


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Review #23, by krazyboutharryginnyForget Me Not: bloom and wither

7th September 2015:
Hi Adi. Here with the other review you wanted!

How many times can I say "Adi, your writing is stunning and I'm in awe" before it gets old? :P I feel like that's all I say in the reviews I leave for you! But you are just such an amazing writing. Honestly, I aspire to write as well as you do.

This story gave me a lot of complicated feelings, to be honest. I could feel Scorpius' frustration with Rose and understand it, but at the same time I know how hard it is to leave an abusive marriage and the statistics around that and everything. So I was a bit frustrated with both of them, and Al too. Like, Rose was making some bad decisions, but that doesn't mean that she wasn't worth saving - or at least trying to save. Gah!

So yeah, this was a really thought-provoking story for me. It really got me thinking about loyalty (so you were successful on that front) - what it means to be loyal, how far loyalty should go, stuff like that. It feels like Rose didn't stay loyal to Scorpius, but Scorpius did sort of betray her and convinced himself that that was loyalty. But then, maybe he just has a different view of loyalty than I do, you know? So it was really interesting.

If I could offer one suggestion, it would be to put your A/N at the beginning. I think I personally would have benefitted from reading what you said about writing loyalty in a different way before I read the story. As it is now, I read the story, read your A/N, and then started thinking about loyalty and what it means, whie if it were at the beginning I probably would have been thinking about it while I read.

But yeah, this story is really impressive, as always, and you are just such a fantastic writer!

-Kayla
(2/3 prize reviews)

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Review #24, by krazyboutharryginnyshe's thunderstorms: she's thunderstorms

6th September 2015:
Hey Adi! I'm FINALLY here to leave you one of the reviews you requested as a prize from my writing challenge during the House Cup. I'm so sorry about the delay.

As usual, this is absolutely fantastic. You're such an amazing writer, Adi! I'm so in awe of you. You have a real way with words and everything you write is so poetic and beautiful. It flows so smoothly that it almost seems effortless (although I'm sure that you worked really hard on this piece, of course). One line that I found particularly striking was "You laughed in the face of war, head tipped back, youth escaping your lips." Just amazing!

I thought at first that the pairing for this would be Neville/Luna, because it was kind of ambiguous at the beginning as to who the narrator is, but at the end I started to think maybe it's Dean? (The references to art are what made me change my mind.) I love how by writing from his point of view you actually managed to focus the story more on Luna than him, because the reader is seeing her from his eyes.

It was really clear that the other character was Luna right from the beginning (made obvious by the references to Nargles and other such creatures) and I thought you did an excellent job of writing her. The "she's cannonballs" section was particularly striking, as the rest of the paragraphs described her in a way that was a little more framed by the feelings of the narrator (if that makes sense). Also, I thought the wanderlust Luna was feeling was almost palpable, as you wrote it so beautifully.

I'm really impressed by this story (as I always am with your work) and thoroughly enjoyed reading it!

-Kayla
(1/3 reward reviews)

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Review #25, by krazyboutharryginnyIsabella: A Midnight Surprise

5th August 2015:
Red vs Gold review battle - team Gold!

Hi Kaitlin!

I'm finally here to keep reviewing this awesome story!
I think you've really done such a fantastic job with this so far. This story is so richly detailed and gives great insight into Mexican culture. I love the differences that you've created between magical society in Mexico and magical society in Britain. For example, the custom is to start magic school at 13, rather than 11. Also, it's law that anyone with magic has to go to school.
My favourite thing in this chapter was the explanation that Isabella has magic because she is descended from a line of magical Aztec warriors. I think that's such a cool idea.
Isabella's father's backstory is so sad, and it made me think of Dumbledore's story (with Ariana and everything). It's obviously a lot different, but that was just what came to mind. I hope Isabella's mother will forgive him and come to accept his and Isabella's magic.
I'm super glad Isabella stood up to her parents like that, even if they got mad at her for it. That was brave of her and it's great that she knows what she wants and is willing to stand up for herself.
Looking forward to the next chapter!

-Kayla

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