Reading Reviews From Member: krazyboutharryginny
  
349 Reviews Found

Review #1, by krazyboutharryginnyThe Adventures of Abigail Higgs and Potter Boy: The One With The Chocolate Of Forgiveness

28th June 2015:
The Amazing Race - House Cup 2015 - Gryffindor!

Hm, maybe I'm naive, but I really do trust James here. He's seemed like such a nice guy in previous chapters and I don't think that he would do something so horrible as to give Abigail a chocolate bar laced with love potion.

He and Abigail both really, really need better friends! Maybe they can become friends with each other instead of hanging out with their current friends ;)

I know I said this in previous reviews, but I really do adore your characterization of James. He seems like a sweetheart, but also funny and a bit mischievous. I also love Abigail. She doesn't have much self-esteem and she seems to be a struggling a bit right now, but I can definitely see the goodness in her!

Ooh, and "chocolate of forgiveness" - I might just be looking into things too much, but to me that definitely sounds like something from a comic book. Is James a secret comic book fan?! :D That would be so awesome!

I am enjoying this story SO much, it's really creative and entertaining to read!

-Kayla
#ROAR

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Review #2, by krazyboutharryginnyThe Adventures of Abigail Higgs and Potter Boy: The One With The Love Potion

28th June 2015:
The Amazing Race - House Cup 2015 - Gryffindor!

Oh NO! What a horrible thing to happen! Poor Abigail and James!

Ugh. Love potions are just so horrible. *shudders* What a huge violation it would be to have one used on you!

Okay, but aside from that. I really love your James. It made me smile that he went right up to the front of the class and told everyone what his potion smelled like. (And ooo, ink! Could that be comic-related, perhaps?!) He seems like a really nice guy here, honestly. He, like Abigail, could use some new friends though... (except William, who seems great!)

I honestly ached for Abigail through the second half of this chapter. You were really successful in getting across how hurt she was and the pain she was feeling. I know that James is not at fault here, as he was given that potion, but I hope he goes and talks to her about this so she can see that she doesn't have to be embarrassed. I have a bad feeling, though, that HE will be too embarrassed to go talk to her! Uh oh!

And I hope Michelle doesn't get wind of it... I can't see her handling it in a way that will be helpful to Amelia.

Another great chapter! I'm so excited to keep reading!

-Kayla
#ROAR

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Review #3, by krazyboutharryginnyThe Adventures of Abigail Higgs and Potter Boy: The One With The 'Supportive' Best Friend

28th June 2015:
The Amazing Race - House Cup 2015 - Gryffindor!

I really am loving this story. This isn't so related to the plot, but I wanted to mention your chapter images again, just to say - I love your facecasts for these characters! I don't often see people cast pop stars as characters, but I think that these choices work really well for your characters!

It seems to me that Abigail really does need a new best friend. This is not a healthy friendship at all! Hopefully Abigail will begin standing up for herself or will find new people to hang out with. It's no good to have a "best friend" who you have to tiptoe around and who does nothing but make you feel horrible about yourself.

Abigail is quickly developing into a really likeable and well-rounded character. Again, I'm really impressed with how quickly you got me attached to her. She just feels very real and is a totally believable teenage girl character, in my opinion.

I hope that James and Abigail will talk soon, but now I'm afraid that might not happen because of the things Michelle said to Abigail D: Obviously that's really shaken her confidence, but maybe James will approach her and strike up a conversation?

Loving this so far!

-Kayla
#ROAR

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Review #4, by krazyboutharryginnyThe Adventures of Abigail Higgs and Potter Boy: The One Where James Knocks Me Down

28th June 2015:
The Amazing Race - House Cup 2015 - Gryffindor!!

This is SUCH an intriguing concept that I couldn't pass it up when I saw it on your AP. I love comic books, so that was probably a factor in how drawn to this I was. But I do have to say how nicely packaged/tied together this is! The comic-themed banner and chapter images, the comic-sounding name - brilliant!

Onto the actual story. This is such an effective first chapter. You've introduced so many things without it feeling like too much information to get at once. You've got me invested in your main character already, which is really impressive because she's an OC. You laid out her relationship with her brother and her best friend Michelle in a way that's pretty frank, but it works.

And Wizarding comics! What a brilliant idea! It makes so much sense that they would have those. Abigail seems a little surprised that she doesn't know more people who like them, but honestly, it's not all that common to see people in real life reading comics either, so it makes sense to me.

I like that you gave us insight into characters besides Abigail here, by having Michelle talk about her disappointment at not being made Quidditch Captain, and having James apologize for knocking Abigail over, rather than just rushing off.

I'm so excited to see how you continue to bring comics into this story and I really want to know what's going to happen between James and Abigail!

-Kayla
#ROAR

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Review #5, by krazyboutharryginnySlowly Falling: Falling

27th June 2015:
The Amazing Race - House Cup 2015 - Gryffindor!

So I will admit, I was very unsure about this story at the beginning. I wasn't sure that I bought the idea of Snape saying such a thing to Lily, or of Lily being so affected by him saying that. It seemed slightly out of character to me. After all, in their fifth year, when he called her a Mudblood, all we saw from her was anger - no self doubt. But then again, we only see Lily's reaction through Snape's eyes and it's very possible that she would have a different reaction in the privacy of the Common Room (although this is a different incident, yes?)

What sold me on this story was DEFINITELY the Marauders! I was sitting here grinning like a fool all the way through their scene. All four of them were perfectly characterized, and I loved the way Lily reacted to their offers.

After that I really warmed up to the story and I thoroughly enjoyed the final scene between James and Lily on the Astronomy tower. It was just so sweet. I loved that he apologized to her even though she said he didn't need to and when she kissed him I actually squealed!

So, while this story wasn't totally perfect (in my opinion), it was very sweet and amusing, and I definitely enjoyed reading it.

-Kayla
#ROAR

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Review #6, by krazyboutharryginnyZabini: New

27th June 2015:
The Amazing Race - House Cup 2015 - Gryffindor!

So, quick little note - isn't Cho Chang in the year above Blaise and Harry? I know it's just a small detail, but it really threw me.

Aside from that, I enjoyed this chapter too. This characterization of Blaise is one that's more in line with the way imagine him (although I had no issue with his characterization in the last chapter). He's withdrawn and seemingly very introverted. At the same time, he's quite good at comebacks (as seen in his interaction with Daphne).

I liked the way you showed his awe at the Hogwarts grounds. Although he was raised by a rich witch, he's still blown away. That's realistic to me - Hogwarts is pretty amazing, after all! ;)

Also, I want to mention that the part at the beginning where Blaise is questioning whether the staff would put them in any danger really had me chuckling. Honestly, things at Hogwarts are so outrageously dangerous sometimes! I think that was a really clever couple of lines to throw in because it gives us extra insight into Blaise's character.

Uh oh... Theo's warning makes sense, but it's really sad :( What will this mean for Blaise and Mia?

Great chapter!

-Kayla
#ROAR

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Review #7, by krazyboutharryginnyZabini: Boy

27th June 2015:
The Amazing Race - House Cup 2015 - Gryffindor!

This is a really interesting take on Blaise's story. That he feels affection for one of his mother's husbands is something I'm not sure I've ever seen anyone do before. It's also very interesting that you had one of his fathers (Mia's father) be a Muggle. Since Blaise is sort of in with the Death Eater crowd at school, I always thought his whole family would be one of those anti-Muggle Pureblood families. (Also, that his mother sent him to a Muggle primary school is interesting as well.) Honestly, the story is made more compelling by the fact that this isn't the case.

I found the idea of Blaise accidentally floating the rings off the pillow and his mother catching them adorable and endearing!

Blaise in the books always came across to me as very cool and aloof, so I'm intrigued by your characterization of him - he's very emotional over the photos of all his fathers and he tears up at the thought of leaving his little sister.

I hope we get to see more of the relationship between Mia and Blaise because it seems like an adorable one!

I like this a lot! Nice job!

-Kayla
#ROAR

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Review #8, by krazyboutharryginnyProud or Ashamed?: 1

27th June 2015:
The Amazing Race - House Cup 2015 - Gryffindor!

So I noticed that this doesn't have any reviews yet and thought I'd swing by to leave you one!

I think there's a lot of good stuff here in this story. I couldn't figure out who had the written the journal entry at first, but when Harry mentioned Neville it all clicked into place. Then I reread the story and I thought that you'd actually captured Neville quite well! I can definitely imagine him thinking of his parents during a moment like that. I also believe that many of the survivors of the battle at Hogwarts would have some sort of survivor's guilt and would be absolutely haunted by the things they had done and spells they had used, even though they hadn't had much of a choice. So I can understand why Neville wondered if they'd be ashamed of him. But personally I think they'd be proud, don't you? ;)

I do have a criticism though, which is that a journal entry written in present tense doesn't feel natural to me. I can definitely see Neville writing down the events of the battle in that much detail as a way to cope/get it all out, but I'm just not sure it works in present tense. I think past tense would be better. But ultimately it's your story and it's up to you :)

Either way I really enjoyed this! Nice work!

-Kayla
#ROAR

Author's Response: Hi Kayla, thanks for stopping by.

I ended writing this in present tense because when I write journal entries, I do them in present tense. I do this because that's the way I remember things, and so that is what feels natural to me.

I'm glad you enjoyed it, and yes I do think Neville's parents would be proud of him!

Lea


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Review #9, by krazyboutharryginnyPast Tense: third.

27th June 2015:
Amazing Race - House Cup 2015 - Go Go Gryffindor!

Aw, I was really hoping Amy would take the job :( But I totally understand why she didn't haha.

I know that Amelia's sort of projecting this whole I-don't-care-about-wizards demeanor, but I'm starting to feel like she might actually care and be pretty bitter :P (Maybe the "chip in her shoulder" bit in the summary should have tipped me off?)

You're doing a really good job of illustrating just how badly Steph is needed in this position. For example, in the books we're constantly told how massive and impressive the Hogwarts library is - so to find out that the History section is 99% Bathilda Bagshot really drives the point home.

I'm liking Steph more and more with each chapter. It's so amazing that she's standing up for herself, even to someone as important as the Headmaster of Hogwarts! Although I suppose her I-don't-care-about-wizards attitude helps with that too. :P But still, she's in a new environment and I love that she's not just letting people walk over her or doing what she's told is "the way to do things", or settling for "how it's always been".

I also love the dynamic between Steph and her friends!

This is such a well-written and engaging story! I'll be sure to come back when you post a new chapter! :)

-Kayla
#ROAR

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Review #10, by krazyboutharryginnyPast Tense: second.

27th June 2015:
The Amazing Race - House Cup 2015 - Go Go Gryffindor!

This chapter definitely solidified my opinion that this story is BRILLIANT!

First of all: This chapter is SO funny. Just really, really well done in terms of humour. You have little one-liners that made me chuckle ("What about my inner demons?") but you also have larger humourous scenes that had me sitting here giggling uncontrollably as I read. The whole scene with Steph and Professor Vector is hilarious! As 1) a Muggle and 2) someone who's taken 3 history classes this year, I understood exactly what Steph was talking about and was just laughing at Professor Vector's clueless responses.

Oooh, is Amy going to come teach at Hogwarts too? THAT WOULD BE SO AWESOME. First of all, I adore Amy - she's my favourite one of Steph's friends (from what I've seen so far). I was laughing so much at her pros/cons about the flats ("This one's only got on-street parking but the shower pressure's amazing" got me particularly hard) and she just seems funny and lovely. Second of all, YES OF COURSE THERE SHOULD BE A MUGGLE TEACHING MUGGLE STUDIES FOR GOODNESS SAKE! So I really hope she gets the job ahaha.

I love that you showed us Steph second-guessing her decision at the beginning of the chapter, but then at the end she said she'd never felt so needed. :') Yay!

I love this, Lisa!

-Kayla
#ROAR

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Review #11, by krazyboutharryginnyPast Tense: first.

27th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 - Go Go Gryffindor!

Can I start off by saying what an amazing concept this is? Because it really, really is just brilliant. I'm a big history fan, and a firm believer that learning history is vital, so the History of Magic classes in the books always bothered me. This is a BRILLIANT solution! It makes so much sense - a Squib with a History degree is the perfect person to take that position!

This is such a unique take on what being a Squib would be like. Most people write it as a tragic thing that the Squib character feels horrible about, but you haven't gone that route. I was cracking up at how Steph hated the word Squib simply because it's such an ugly word (which... it really is). I also loved all the references to current culture, like Vine.

Squibs not having to abide by the Statute of Secrecy is EXACTLY the sort of silly loophole I can imagine the Ministry of Magic overlooking. It always seemed to me when reading the books that wizards found Squibs completely beneath their notice. Anyways, a good idea on your part - having her Muggle friends know about magic (and seem pretty chill about it too!) is a really cool and unique situation for you to have put them in.

I thoroughly enjoyed this first chapter and I'm excited to read more!

-Kayla
#ROAR

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Review #12, by krazyboutharryginnyHamartia: two.

27th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 - Go Go Gryffindor!

Well, this was an interesting chapter. It contained a lot of stuff I wasn't expecting. First of all, I see that we have very different ideas about what old Pureblood families would think of queerness! I went the opposite route in Breathe, but honestly, this one makes sense too (and obviously works much better for the story that you're trying to tell).

"(I thought, often, how much trouble that one word caused us. Pietas. Neither of us possessed it; neither of us wanted to. We looked at Virgil’s pius vir and laughed in his face. Then, she married him)." I know I've said this a million times recently, but Lisa, you are a GENIUS! Throwing a tidbit like "Then she married him" in right at the beginning of the story, not even halfway through chapter 2?! Brilliant! It feels like that shouldn't work (because it's a spoiler) but it totally does! Now I NEED to know more.

"“You’re all right, Greenslade,” Angelina Johnson told me the night before the match" This really made me smile. I know it's a minor detail but now I'm having Angelina Johnson feels.

The scene at the end between Amelia and Athena is beautifully written. Great description and emotion.

Overall this is a great chapter. The first one was a little bit more engaging, but this one gives us quite a lot of insight into the dynamics of the school, the relationship between Amelia and Athena, and the atmosphere of the Wizarding World overall.

I love this! I hope you manage to update it soon (no pressure though).

-Kayla
#ROAR

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Review #13, by krazyboutharryginnyHamartia: one.

27th June 2015:
Hey Lisa - I'm here for the Amazing Race for the House Cup 2015. Go Go Gryffindor!

I wanted to take this opportunity to read more of your work, as we'll be collaborating together - and also because I've heard (and seen) that it's completely fantastic. And that it is! I am completely blown away by this first chapter.

Your use of language is stunning. Here you've painted a vivid picture of a girl who wants desperately to belong among her peers, and uses some misguided methods (like lying) to make sure it happens.

The character you've created here is engaging, intriguing, and makes me want to keep reading. She seems like a pretty normal teenage girl - what on Earth will make her want to join up with an organization like the Death Eaters? Is it Athena?

I loved your descriptions of Athena, by the way. "she introduced herself with the air of knowing she was every bit as divine as her namesake" is to-the-point and quite a simple sentence, but tells us SO MUCH about her character.

The last line is so mysterious/intriguing and makes me really excited to read the next chapter.

Oh, and it's wild how long you've been thinking about this story - congrats on finally starting it!

You are SO talented, Lisa, and I'm so excited to keep reading your work - and to collab with you!

-Kayla

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Review #14, by krazyboutharryginnyClementine: Clementine

20th June 2015:
Amazing Race - House Cup 2015 - Go Go Gryffindor!

This is a really stunning one shot. I don't know exactly what the challenge you wrote it for was about, but it seems to me that you incorporated colour perfectly. Honestly I find it adorable that Victoire worried over wearing orange because Bill's hair is that colour and she thought she'd be "too obvious".
It was a lovely detail that Victoire felt awkward trying to find words to talk to Bill (since she was just learning English) and then at the end of the story you had Bill doing his best to speak to her in French. Just that small detail gives us SUCH a good picture of his character and what he's like as a person.
I've always loved this pairing, but it was really lovely to see a story depicting the beginning of their relationship. I felt like they were both realistic and likeable characters here.
Also - "Maybe, if you'd worn lavender, it would have been different" is a great sentence. It really sums up the feeling a lot of us get when decisions don't go the way we'd been expecting them to.

This is short and pretty simple, but I really did enjoy it!

-Kayla

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Review #15, by krazyboutharryginnyHourglass: next month

20th June 2015:
Amazing Race - House Cup 2015 - Gryffindor

So... the mystery of D.L.Z.'s identity has been revealed. Al seems satisfied, but I'm definitely not. There's more to it than that. Something's obviously been going on with Albus, and I NEED TO KNOW WHAT IT IS!
It's good that he's feeling better, but I can't imagine that it will last. He's spent a good chunk of this story so far getting more and more out of it, and now he's just fine? After meeting D.L.Z.? I don't think that I buy it!
Oh no, Harry's coming to Hogwarts! You've made the Potter's such a believable family - they care very deeply for each other, but Lily and Albus still don't want their dad to embarrass them!
I have to admit that I don't quite understand what happened with that girl? Did Joel give her Armontentia? I have to be honest - if that's what happened, my respect for Joel just plummeted :/ I'm sure that there are loads of girls in Hogwarts who would love to date Al without being given a coercive potion.
But overall I am still really enjoying this story, and I hope there's a new chapter soon.

-Kayla

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Review #16, by krazyboutharryginnyHourglass: all day

20th June 2015:
Amazing Race - House Cup 2015 - Gryffindor

I'm starting to get very worried about Albus. His behaviour is really concerning. Does it have something to do with D.L.Z. or is it something else entirely? I hope he's okay...
I feel really bad for Sophie. I would be upset too if my friend ran out on me like that. At the same time, though, I understand why Albus did it.
I absolutely love the way you've written the Potter family. They're so loving and it's really clear how deeply they care about each other. It makes me really happy that Lily is so caring towards her brother and worried about her brother. I'm hoping we'll hear from James soon?
WHO is this girl? OMG! I have the feeling that she's not Al's blind date, contrary to what he seems to believe. Also what happened with his scar?! Things are getting more and more alarming and intriguing! I can't wait to read on.
I really am alarmed by Albus' behaviour, though, especially the memory issues. I hope that everything starts to become clear soon!

-Kayla

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Review #17, by krazyboutharryginnyHourglass: after hours

20th June 2015:
Amazing Race - House Cup 2015 - Gryffindor

I'm really glad that Al wrote to his dad. It's so wonderful that they have a good enough relationship that Albus is comfortable writing to him about his worries.
The idea of Joel and Vanessa being the designated "Cutest Couple in Gryffindor", as decided by a poll, is completely hilarious to me. Al's discomfort is definitely understandable, though.
I have a feeling that a blind date won't go the way everyone is hoping it will. It seems to me like Al is probably right and it will cause even more problems. It also makes me feel bad for Sophie :(
Albus reading biographies of Dumbledore is a really cool detail. I also love that you made sure to say that Rita Skeeter's had been discredited!
Oooh! Is the mysterious figure D.L.Z.?! I'M SO INTRIGUED.
The only thing I didn't like was the idea of Al's family calling a meeting to discuss his relationship. If my family did that to me I'd be so unbelievably irritated.
Overall I really enjoyed this chapter and I'm excited to read the next one.
-Kayla

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Review #18, by krazyboutharryginnyHourglass: a spell

20th June 2015:
Hey! I'm here for the Amazing Race review battle for 2015's House Cup! Go go Gryffindor! (I'm also here because I meant to review every chapter of this AGES ago. Oops. I'm so sorry!)

Have I mentioned before that I absolutely love everything you've got going on with this story? Because I do. I don't even have words for how much I adore your characterization of Rose. It's completely different from anything I've ever seen before and I think it's PERFECT. Her relationship with Albus is wonderful.

I also admire your pacing. I have a tendency to rush, but here we're three chapters in and you're still keeping things mysterious. I have no idea what's going on (I mean, I do, but I don't know WHY) but instead of being confused or put off I'm totally hooked. Who is D.L.Z? Is she the mysterious women in Albus' dream? WHERE DID THE SCAR COME FROM?! Why does Al feel dizzy? I know that these questions will be answered in later chapters, and I can't wait to read on and find out what's happening here.

I love this so much! I'm sorry it took me so long to get back here.

-Kayla

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Review #19, by krazyboutharryginnyUntil the End: Together

20th June 2015:
Hey Rose. Here for the Amazing Race review battle from 2015's House Cup! Go go Gryffindor!

I've never read a story about Gideon and Fabian before, but I figured I'd give it a shot. I'm really glad I did - this story is nicely written and showcases their relationship perfectly. I like the repetitive structure of it, where they keep saying the same two lines. I thought it really highlighted that they were always there for each other, no matter the circumstance. I also enjoyed how you managed to fit in their relationship with Molly - that they teased her, but would stick up for her if anyone else did it.

The idea of a Quidditch scrimmage was a really creative one that I was impressed by. I'm sort of glad that McGonagall caught them, though, because it was getting really out of hand!

My favourite part was definitely when the two of them were babysitting Fred and George. It was so adorable and highlighted the similarities between the two sets of brothers.

I think that this story is really well written and I enjoyed it a lot! Great job!

-Kayla

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Review #20, by krazyboutharryginnyScars: Introduction: It Only Takes A Moment

20th June 2015:
Here for the Amazing Race review battle for the House Cup 2015! GO GO GRYFFINDOR!!

AH TANYA I LOVE THIS! I don't think I've ever seen a story dealing with what John Lupin actually did to offend Greyback. Your writing is always so unique and well done. I absolutely love reading your work!

It's so horrible knowing what this scene leads to. The worst part is that here John didn't really do anything wrong. Sure, he lost his temper a bit, but everything he said to Greyback was completely fair. That makes it even more agonizing that Remus gets bitten over it.

I loved the details of the items that were on John's desk, such as the snow globe and the model of the Hogwarts Express. It really rounded him out as a character.

I really hope that you continue this sometime. Your writing is phenomenal and this story is one that I would be so interested in reading. I know from other stories of yours that I've read that your characterizations of the Marauders are excellent. If you ever continue this, please let me know - I'll eagerly come back and keep reading!

-Kayla

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Review #21, by krazyboutharryginnyMurphy's Law: Reality

20th June 2015:
Hey Tanya! I'm here for the Amazing Race for 2015's House Cup! Go go GRYFFINDOR!

This had me cracking up right from the start. I really think you got everyone's personalities spot on. What totally hooked me here was the part where you mentioned James and Sirius disproving that toast always falls butter-side down. That made me laugh out loud and eagerly keep reading.

Everything about this story is charming and funny. I absolutely adore the way you've characterized James. He's so cute and nervous and different from the confident way that he's usually portrayed. One part that I loved was when Lily told him that he'd put his hand to his face 6 times. That was such a clever way to really drive home how nervous he was.

I felt SO HORRIBLE for James when the snow globe shatterred! What a horrible thing to happen! It was such a lovely present (by the way, what a creative and wonderful idea! I'm really impressed) and it got ruined! They couldn't have Reparo'd it? D:

But I think it's so adorable that Lily didn't hate him for that disaster of a date and that she kissed him anyway. That's always what I sort of imagined would happen when they got together - it would be a disaster but she'd still like him.

I really enjoyed reading this! You're awesome!

-Kayla

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Review #22, by krazyboutharryginnyThe Perfect Present: The Perfect Present

20th June 2015:
Hey Alo! I'm here for the Amazing Race for 2015's House Cup! Go go GRYFFINDOR!

I don't think I've ever actually read a Cho/Cedric story before, but this one is absolutely adorable. It was funny to see Cedric struggling like this over a present because in the books we saw him through Harry's eyes, and since he was older than Harry, Harry saw him as cool and confident. But at the end of the day, he too is a teenaged boy like Harry and it was nice to see him in a way that showed that he, too, was confused by girls, and wasn't always sure of himself, etc.

I also thought the idea of the charmed hair pin was so creative. It's definitely the perfect Christmas present for Cho. It's not too big but it's also something she'll really like. I would never have come up with an idea like that, honestly - I would have just gone with a scarf or something!

This story is short, but you manage to pack a lot of character into the small word count. You showed a whole new side of Cedric really successfully. I really enjoyed reading this!

-Kayla

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Review #23, by krazyboutharryginnyResolution: Resolution

20th June 2015:
Hey Alo! I'm here for the Amazing Race for the 2015 House Cup! Go go GRYFFINDOR!

I wanted to read this because I'm a singer and I was really interested to see what direction you would take a story about a singer in. Magical music is one of the areas that I felt was under-explored in the books.
What I liked about this was how realistic Celestina was and how she was experiencing the same things as a Muggle musician. Yes, she's using a charm to amplify her voice and she's lamenting hiring banshees as backup singers, but she's also experiencing exhaustion from being on tour - I've never been on tour but from what I've heard this is a pretty universal feeling among musicians. You made Celestina a really real character, whereas she's kind of a caricature in the books. I'm always so impressed when someone manages to pull that off, and the fact that you did it in so few words is even more amazing!

I'm pretty impressed with this story and I enjoyed reading it! Good work!

-Kayla

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Review #24, by krazyboutharryginnyJust Breathe: Dominique's Second Diary Entry

12th June 2015:
Go Go Gryffindor! This review is for the Amazing Race task for 2015's house cup!

This chapter is every bit as good as the first one. I absolutely adore your detailing here! It tells us so much about not only Dominique but the whole Weasley family's dynamic.

Honestly, I don't even really know where to start! I guess first I'll mention that "a gratuitously British name" made me laugh out loud. So did Ginny having "some right ideas about diaries" (although this has a sad backstory, it's worded in such a funny way.)

I love the insight you gave us into the Wizarding world, mentioning the extra year at Beauxbatons to write an Arithmancy thesis, and the potential job as an apprentice. Also a clever idea is Molly Weasley getting her own line of clothes at Madam Malkin's because of everyone wanting Weasley jumpers after the war. You just have so many clever ideas worked in here very, very naturally. It's so impressive! I love it!

Dominique's favourite uncle being Fred is such a sweet and sad touch. I hate that she feels bad about it.

I'm loving this story so far!

-Kayla

Author's Response: More Kayla, too! Wooo!

Ah, it's so great that you write that "It tells us so much about not only Dominique but the whole Weasley family's dynamic." because I was sorta worrying that I was overfocusing on Dom and failed at showing how she fits into the Weasley clan.

I'm also really happy that I made you laugh. I see Dominique as someone with a great sense of humour who isn't really aware of it herself. Like, most of her family has this sort of brash and practical joke-based humour OR this very sarcastic humour, and her humour is more light hearted and understated at the same time. It's a bit like Ginny and Harry's humour, but a lot less bitter and harsh. And I wanted her humour to shine through and lighten up the story, sort of... Just like Ginny's opinions about diaries has a "sad backstory" but can be used for humour, Dominique is going through a hard time but still has her humour, so to speak...

I love doing a little world building at the sort of 'edges' of a story like this, and I think I already mentioned in a rview response somewhere that I see Molly as this really ambitious person and her having a career of her own would probably be great for her relationship with Arthur because it'd take away a lot of the pressure she puts on him for advancing in his work...

I too hope Dom will grow to feel better about having Fred as her favourite uncle!

I'm so happy that you like this story! It means a lot from someone who tackled similar issues yourself in you Diversity Challenge story.

/Kapa


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Review #25, by krazyboutharryginnyHigh Romance: Prologue

12th June 2015:
Hello, I'm here to leave a review for The Amazing Race task in the 2015 House Cup! Go Go Gryffindor!

You have such a beautiful way with words. A lot of the time when writers go for this sort of vibe, with lots of prose and metaphors, it comes off as very forced and unnatural, but not here. Here it absolutely works.

Having been in quite a few airports recently myself, I felt that this was described in a way that really resonated. The line that I connected with the most was "there was something about airports, something so hypnotic and draining, that left you feeling not like a person at all." Airports really are inexplicably draining, and you've done such an impressive job of capturing that atmosphere.

I also love how the summary of "Rose being in the clouds" is actually quite literal, if this chapter is anything to go by. I was expecting it to be more of a metaphorical thing, like she daydreams a lot. Who knows, maybe it will be both as the story progresses?

Awesome work on this!

-Kayla

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