Wow, this was simply wonderful! I love how you take 18th century (?) and adapt it into the whole magical community. I always have a thing for older stories like this and I love it!
You describe things so easily and so carefully, that I felt like I was apart of the whole scene there. I truly love this, dear.
Please, re-request when you have the second chapter up! I'm intrigued as to see where you take this!
♥Author's Response: Alicia! Thank you so much for reviewing so quickly!
I am so glad you liked the story! It's 19th Century France actually. One of my fave eras as it is the era of Jane Austen's novels :) And aren't period stories just amazing? If you're looking for another one, you should give Madame Minister by celticbard a read, if you haven't yet. One of the best period fics...fics in general that I've read in a long time!
Hehe, description has been my arch nemesis since I started writing. Either I do too much of it or do too little. I always have a fear of things being overwrought. Given the massive word count of this chapter (massive, at least to me) I guess my fears have been justified XD I'm glad it worked out in this chapter.
Thank you so much for this review! I love it! Really! Expect me back at your thread come the next chapter! Thank you again! Report Review
Tink here from the forums with your review!
I'm a bit confused as to what's going on in the story, but it's only the beginning, right? There's bound to be confusion. Naturally. But I like it so far. You have the basics to the beginning, yet you don't tend to lose interest.
I love the concern that she had for her sister. Show's that she really cares about her and is worried about what is going on, especially at her wedding.
There were a few errors here and there, that could easily be fixed by a beta. Other than that, I'm intrigued as to where you plan to take this, so don't hesitate to drop by again when you have the second chapter up.
xxAuthor's Response: Hey, thanks for the wonderful review! :D
Yes, my goal was to sort of baffle people with confusion and curiosity in the beginning. I always like to give my OCs interesting relationships with their family. I just like giving them a unique mind set about family. Yes, I may get a beta if I decide that I am serious about the story.
cheers, ash Report Review
Tink from the forums with your review. Sorry it's taken a while to get to it. Life has been busy.
I have to admit, I'm not much of a song fic person. Simply because most of them just don't work out. But yours, this song (even though I've never heard of it) seemed to have work. You've got the emotion that Lily and James feel for each other down wonderfully. I can feel a connection right from the start.
You've written descriptions amazingly and the flow and pace of this story is smooth sailing. I can feel every movement and every word they're saying as if I'm a little mouse in the corner, watching.
Overall, this is a wonderful one-shot.
Great job!Author's Response: The wait was no problem, really. Thank you for reading, and the lovely review. I'm glad you enjoyed the story :) Report Review
Tink here from the forums with your review.
I'm very confused. This is a unique story, don't get me wrong. I've never seen anything quite like it. But the plot has me a little befuddled.
There's so much that we don't know about in this first chapter and could use a little more explanation. I don't know, like what's it like around her, the sights, that sort of thing.
There was one word that was misspelled and that was desperately. The e and i should be switched around like I have it. Otherwise, your spelling and grammar are perfect.
Apart from that, this is a very unusual story, which has a lot of potential.
Keep it up! ^_^Author's Response: I'm sorry, I'll try and make it make a bit more sense. I'm also a bit confused about how I mispelled desperately, it hasn't got an i in it. Anyway, thanks for reviewing Report Review
OMG! Shiloh, I loved this! It's brilliant, really!
I never pictured Dudley with anyone honestly, let alone Pansy. Your style here is very unique, refreshing. I don't think I've really read anything quite like this and Kaity did an excellent job of pairing these two together.
And you. My goodness. You did a fabulous job at keeping each charactr in check. Dudley, though. I was surprised to see that he wanted to look for Harry. I'm assuming that's who it is, right?
I loved each of their reactions to each others' worlds. I think it would be wierd experiencing something new and unsure about. This is just a fantastic piece, dear.
♥Author's Response: Wow, Alicia, thank you so much!
I was really nervous going into this just because of the pairing. But I enjoyed writing it, and I think it's one of my better works, honestly.
Thanks for reviewing hun! I appreciate it *hugs*
Shiloh Report Review
I was so excited when I saw that you posted in my thread! I have been meaning to read this story, actually and I guess the only time a person gets to is when they have a review thread. Sad, really.
Anyway. Onto the review.
This is a very interesting story. I love the tensity you have set in this chapter. Tonks doesn't feel easy about her surroundings and who wouldn't? After coming awake and finding where she's at? I'd be a little frightened myself.
And omgosh! That ending! That was nothig like I expected! I thought maybe with her prowling around, that she'd get taken prizoner or something. Not find Brodie prizoner himself. I wonder what's going to happen to her and Brodie? You have me suspicous!
Other than my rambling, your pace, sentance structure, etc. is superb! I didn't feel like anything was going off track and not getting confused with parts of the storyline.
Please, re-request from me again! I would love to find out what happens next!
xxAuthor's Response: Hiya Tink!
Ah, I know just how you feel. I don't get to read as much HP fanfiction as I would like to either. My full-time college schedule doesn't seem to support my fanfic obsession, hehe. ;)
I'm so happy you're enjoying this story. As I said in my first author's note, it's quite a weird plot and I wasn't sure if I would just leave readers scratching their heads after this prologue.
And I'm very glad the ending left you intrigued. I was so hoping readers would be interested enough to continue on...not just thoroughly confused, haha.
Thanks a million for the review, Tink! Your feedback was great. I'll definitely drop by your thread soon and re-request. Take care!
Lee Anne Report Review
Gina! My loffly sister! ;)
I absolutely love this chapter. When Sirius was saying his goodbye, it's almost like Regulus wanted him to stay. Even though they know their life they has as a Black, it's like some part of him wanted his little brother. Same goes with his mother. It's sort of like a Cinderella story, but backwards. Wonderful work, once again, love! ♥Author's Response: ALICIA! :)
Thank you so much, hun! I'm so glad you liked this chapter. It was a very emotional chapter, clearly, and it took a lot out of me to write. But to hear your reaction to is just... priceless. Report Review
What am I going to do with you crazy tgs people? A third dedication? Really. But I'll take it anywho! ♥
I don't think the ending is that bad. I think it's just right. It builds up the right amount of emotion that Rose is feeling for Ted to call her name, but he never does.
I'm sorry I haven't much else to say, but I think it's fine, dear! And thanks again for the dedication! Your writing is just splendid, love!
xxAuthor's Response: You completely deserve the dedication dear! You always listen to me moaning about my writing, and convince me not to scrap everything I do.
Thank you! The ending gave me endless trouble, and I'm so glad you think it works.
It makes me so happy that you enjoy my writing. Thanks for the review too! It still puts the biggest smile on my face :D.
xxx Report Review
Hey there, Tink from the forums with your review.
This is an interesting story so far. I'm not quite sure what's going on, but I'm sure I will soon.
Anyway. I notice in the beginning you didn't say much on Draco's thoughts before he met with the new Dark Lord, you only gave a couple sentances. I would suggest going back and adding a couple sentances, just to give us a feel of the surroundings and thoughts.
Other than that, I didn't really see anything wrong except a few grammar incidences here and there.
Other than that,Author's Response: Hey there Tinkerbell01!
Thank you so much for the lovely review. I'm not sure if it posted the whole thing but, in any case, it was very nice.
You mentioned about Draco. Well, to be quite honest, I didn't really think about going into his thoughts. The way I tend to write prologues is to keep the reader confused. That's just my preferred method.
Also, this is not what the centre of the story is. I'd call it more of a "glimpse into the end" if you know what I mean. That is, a glimpse from his prospective. Though the story is about Lily Potter.
Thank you very much for the lovely review!
cheers, ash Report Review
LEE! Hey hun!
Okay, so I have to admit. I'm not a Supernatural fan. *gasp* I know, right? But as I was watching Charmed one morning, usually after Charmed, they play ER. But, after the episode finished, on popped Supernatural. So, knowing what a BIG fan you are, I just had to see what this was all about. And, I have to admit, I actually like it. It kind of reminds me of a kick-off of Charmed in a way.
Anyway. Rambling. Onto the review! *raises sword* I have never read any crossovers until now, surprisingly. Yours would be the first.
You have done the whole characterization of the characters wonderfully. Especially David and Natalie. You can tell that David was really worried about her. And when the demon and wizard came into play, them wondering who they were was done wonderfully as well.
I am actually looking forward to reading the second chapter, dear. To find out if Dean and Sam can figure out the mystery behind the two murders. Which, they usually do, right?
And Sam is a cutie isn't he? ♥ I've always liked Jared since Gilmore Girls. I wouldn't mind having him as a boyfriend. :P
♥Author's Response: Hey Alicia!
Well at least you have seen an episode of the show. Yeah, it's been coming on after charmed for a couple of weeks now and I've been getting up at 7am to watch it. :P But I'm glad you liked it.
Really? Well, I'm honored to be the first. And maybe this story will get you into the show like a crossover did for me a little over a year ago. Got so interested in the characters I just had to watch it and fell in love with it when I did. Anyway, now I am rambling.
Thanks. Yeah, those two seem to have become very popular, even though there were only there for a few minutes.
XD I'm glad that you look forward to it. I look forward to seeing another review from you later on. XD Heh, yeah they do. But here, the mystery of who killed them will begin to be revealed in chapter three and will go on from there.
Hehe, yes he is. They are both very easy on the eyes. Too bad they are both engaged now though. :P
Thanks Alicia and I'll come request another review from you once you are done with Marina! Report Review
Yay! Jenny, you have a new story! I'm so excited for this! I can already see that it's going to be very interesting!
I feel kinda bad for Hugo. Being the youngest and the big sis taking all the glory. Not only her, but the others who were pregnant. I know what that's like, being the youngest myself.
You did everything wonderfully. The way you talked about the different feelings Hugo was feeling towards the others, was amazing. And the casino scene, that was brilliant! I think Hugo might find a hidden talent! :P I don't see him as the gambling type, nor do I any of the Weasley's/Potter's really.
Can't wait for the update, dear!
♥Author's Response: Hi Alicia! Hugo definitely gets completely overshadowed, something I've always imagined happening to him, the poor guy. I'm glad you liked the start, and I will get to updating this soon! Thank you for reviewing :) x Report Review
Hey! Tink from the forums!
You have an interesting story going here.
I like how you've had this with Lysander. You don't see many stories with him, so it's good to see something new and refreshing, like this.
I don't have much to say except the Aquamenti scene was funny. I did notice a run on sentence though. Let me see if I can find it. Molly's face scrunches up and she pinches her nose, taking a step away from the boys and, by extension, me, given that I'd just been hugged by one of them. That could easily be fixed by a beta.
Other than that, I think you've got a story here with great potential! The flow is good. Not to fast, not too slow.
Wonderful work! ^_^Author's Response: Thank you so much for the lovely review! It's nice to know that you think it's refreshing and has potential. That means a lot! Thanks again :) Report Review
I was so excited when you had posted in my thread and requested a review. It has been way to long since I've read your work and I miss it!
I love how you portray Petunia. You don't find many stories about her and her having feelings for Severus, that's quite interesting.
Your descriptions are still done beautifully. I envy you for it. I'm sorry my review is so short, but that's only because your stories haven't changed one bit. Not at all.
Please, please. Don't hesitate to request from me again, love!
♥Author's Response: Thank you! Aw! You miss my work? That's so nice of you. Thanks ♥
I have never read any Petunia/Severus stories, but I actually wish there were more. I think that would make an interesting plot.
Thank you! Don't envy me, please. Descriptions have given me a hard time since day one. Thank you so much. I really appreciate your review ^_^ Report Review
My goodness Melanie!
I am not really a big fan of slash, but this is brilliant. Absolutely brilliant!
We know that nobody really liked Myrtle, but Minerva tries to mourn her death, and in the end, not even she can shed a single tear.
Like Marina's Filch/Rosmerta (If my memory serves me correctly) paring, this is another unusual pair. A pairing I would NEVER see be put together. You make them believable. Not many people would, but you do.
I simply love this dear!
♥Author's Response: Thanks so much Alicia! I wanted to try my hand at a truly odd pairing, and I've also been wanting to explore slash - so I figured, Minerva is always shipped with Tom; why not try something else?
Thank you for your review! xoxo Report Review
OH. MY. GOD. Why haven't I read your work before? You are fantastic! Fantastic. I don't see why you aren't more proud of this, dear. You are far better than I and I can see why you are Prodigal.
I have to be honest. I don't think I've read a Ted/Rose before. Yes, this would be the first. It kind of reminds me of our good old favorite couple, Lily and James. How James kept teasing Lily, trying to get her attention and after all those years, she finally gave.
I simply love this hun. Really I do! You have done a wonderful job with the descriptions, the are phenomenal! And the ending, I don't know what your worry is dear. To me, it's so sweet. Teddy telling Hugo his feelings for his sister, it's kinda like Harry having feelings for Ginny really. And look how happy their marriage turned out!
Don't hesitate to request from me again, love!
♥Author's Response: This is the third time now that I've tried to reply. Let's hope I finish this one!
So, I genuinely don't know how to reply to a review that's so...brilliant, so I won't even try to make it overly coherent.
Just - thank you so much for the comments and the comparisons. I'm glad it reminds you of other elements of the HP universe ^_^
Really - such a wonderful review and thank you
xx Report Review
Hey, Tink from the forums with your review.
In the beginning I was wondering who you were talking about in this short story, but when you said Mudblood, I immediately thought of Draco saying that to Hermione, but I quickly looked back and saw that this was Next Generation. You have got me still curious and you've done a great job.
You descriptions are very well done and you seem to get have the pace and flow of this wonderfully, even though it is limited to five hundred words.
xxAuthor's Response: Thanks! I meant for the character to be a curiosity, although I did consider putting Scorpius down for the killer, so you're not too far off. Report Review
Hello there, Tink from the forums with your review!
I have to say, I'm not a big Dramonie fan. Never will be. I'm 100% canon fan, always will be. But this, you make it very believable. The pain that Ron has caused Hermione is like that song Tattoo by Jordan Sparks. Something that will be in her forever.
And the few seconds joy that she had with Draco were sweet.
Your descriptions are very well done, mind giving me some tips? :P I always envy people who write like this. You've got talent, yes you do.
Excellent job with this!
xxAuthor's Response: How very sweet of you! Like I tell everyone who says this, I'm still very thrilled that you decided to give Dramione a chance even though you hate them lol.
I don't particularly have any tips I could put into words except when you're not using much dialogue at the time, try to think about it as if you were there. What would you see exactly? What are some good descriptive words you might use to explain to a blind person what it is that you're looking at or smelling or sensing. You know what I mean? As a reader, we are virtually blind if we have no imagination. And let's face it, some of us readers don't have a good imagination. You have to help the handicaps =] Report Review
YAY! Another chapter up! I was surprised to see you had updated. I woke up this morning and there was a reply to the chapter updates at tgs b you. Of course, I spent all day doing nothing, but still I managed to come by and review your lovely chapter!
My goodness. I hate to think what Ron and Hermione will think when they find out about Hugo.
And that poor girl who had to tell Neville. I hate to think what's going on through her head.
Something about this chapter makes me think I've read it before. It may just be my imagination, yes. That's it. My imagination.
This chapter is simply amazing, as always dear!
I can not wait for the next update!
xxAuthor's Response: You HAVE read some of it before, my dear! The first part (with Neville) I had proofread by you and a couple people a few months ago. That's why it sounds familiar. ;)
Thank you for the lovely review!! I really appreciate the time you spent on it. Report Review
Sorry it's taken me a couple days more than I said I would have come. Things got a little out of hand. But I am here!
I am going to be honest when I say that I haven't read Romina Stephanie's one-shot. Any of her stories for that matter, at least I don't think.
But this, this is just amazing dear! You captivate Lucy's thought in each situation wonderfully. Even though each scene is short, yes. You still manage to make it work.
I don't know what else to say, hun. This is simply wonderful! I love it!
Brilliant work, hun!
xxAuthor's Response: Hey Alicia! Thanks for reviewing! (and no worries about the lateness, it's hardly what I'd call late ;D).
That's actually good in many ways, as I like to see how people who are not familiar with the original story see this one shot. (I would, however, advise reading Romina Stephanie's stories :D).
I'm so glad you enjoyed this! This story was more an exercise in characterisation :D. And I'm glad it worked. It's slightly different from my normal style.
Thank you so much! ^^
-Becca Report Review
First off, you've got to be very brave to post your first story on here. I have my first one on my laptop still and am never ever ever going to post it. Never. It's so horribly written and it's just...No.
Anyway. I think you've done a great job with this, it just needs a few tweaking of things. Like more description. You've got an excellent start, but there just needs to be more of what's going on during the wedding, preparation, etc. There was one spot in the story, where you said the same thing twice. Like how his breath tickled her neck, for example. There are more ways to describe that feeling without it having to be repetitive.
As Amelia said in her review, the ending is kind of quick. That's one thing I fear in my stories; my beginning and middle are okay, but my endings I have a difficult time with. I'm not sure what you had in the beginning for the ending, but it's still kind of abrupt. Idk, maybe that's just me. But I think there could be a little bit more put into it.
Finally, I've noticed a few spelling errors that could easily be fixed. Nothing that takes away from the story, but just that could be spotted.
I hope I wasn't too harsh, dear.
*hides in worry that she was*
xxAuthor's Response: thanks for the review, hun. you weren't harsh, honestly. i think your review helped me a lot! I'm considering going back and revising it, I think I wrote it too fast. the bunny came to me when I was listening to the song, so naturally, I wanted to end the story fast so it wouldn't fade away. I hope you enjoyed it, and the review helped, it really did. =D Report Review
Rin, you need to stop being so amazing at everything you write, you hear me? Haha, no. Don't stop. Keep going! Everything of yours that I read just gets better and better with each and every solitary word that you write. You're descriptions are phenomenal and when you write what a person is thinking you seem to manage to do it just perfectly. I love it.
But what I am wondering is what is it that Neville is apologizing to Hannah for? If not apologizing, what is he comforting her for? I guess one will never know. It's an air of mystery that will probably never be solved.
I guess by now you're kinda wondering what is with my crazy review frantic I have going on here? Well, if you haven't looked at tgs yet today, I am your secret Santa! Yes, me! I hope you are pleased with your reviews that you have received for these five one-shots of yours. They truly are wonderful, darling. I shall have my one-shot up for you hopefully within the new year.
MERRY CHRISTMAS dear and HAPPY NEW YEAR!
AliciaAuthor's Response: GAH, Alicia, you are fantastically amazing. No, really, amazing. You've totally made my morning, and my week, and my month, and my year... Gah. Amazing.
Thanks so much for all the effort you've put into all your reviews today! It all means so much to me. I really, really appreciate it.
Oh, and Neville? We'll, she's just lost a baby, so... He needed to say SOMETHING, didn't he? :) But maybe "sorry" isn't the best choice of words. I'll go back to that then...
Thanks so much Alicia! I love you. Report Review
Rin, you've done it again. And you'll keep doing it again. Gosh, the way you tell Lily's tale of waking up in the morning and not hearing a single solitary sound is truly amazing. Really.
I love this, really. I'm sorry my review for this is so short, but that's because it's such an amazing little story. It's short, yes. But you explain everything we need to know in just under one thousand words. How do you do it, Rin. How?
Lovely work dear, as always.
xxAuthor's Response: Alicia, what am I going to do with you? Your awesome reviews just blow me away. I. Love. Alicia. Report Review
I always wondered what went on in his mind during the sixth book, with having to do the most unthinkable thing. You've captivated his thoughts and emotion just perfectly.
I guess I kinda feel sorry for Draco, especially in the sixth book. He never really gets a chance to be a normal kid; he's always having to do things with the death eaters. Even after the death of Voldemort, he's still having to do things that a normal kid would never dream of.
The sad thing is, he may never have a normal life. Like Ron, Harry and Hermione may have. It's a burden that he has to carry with him the rest of his life. Or at least, I know I would have that heavy weight upon my shoulders.
Wonderful work hun! ^_^
xxAuthor's Response: Alicia! You flatter me. Thank you so much for all the time you took to review, dear. Yes, Draco has always been such an interesting character to me. He just seems so... flawed. I wanted to explore his character a bit more, and I'm so glad that you thought it turned out OK. :) Thanks again! Report Review
Rin, this is another beautiful one-shot by you.
I simply love it. As always, I love your work. I felt so sad for Teddy when Victoire told him that she could no longer be together. :( And her having a baby? That's wonderful! I could totally see Teddy as a father. He would take extra care of it and give it the love and attention it needs.
This was another emotional piece of art, that made me want to jump right in and hug Teddy. Why do you do that to me, Rin? Why? :P Aha.
Brilliant work, dear. As always.
xxAuthor's Response: GAH, Alicia. You're wonderful. You really are. I had a close friend of mine tell me that this needed some re-working recently, so I was going to go back and do that tomorrow or the next day. I was feeling pretty insecure about it, and then BAM! Review by Alicia! Thank you so much for your encouragement and feedback. I appreciate it more than I can express. Report Review
OMG! This was the most heart wrenching one-shot! The pain that Hermione feels for Ron dating Lavender is just heart breaking. I always wondered what was going through her mind when she saw him snogging her and now we've got the answer.
You've done an absolutely brilliant job with this one-shot dear and I am in love with it. You've got the emotion for Hermione's feelings towards Ron down pat. I feel like jumping in the story and giving her a great big hug. :(
Wonderful job, hun!
xxAuthor's Response: Haha, this is unexpected! Boy, I wrote this a long time ago. It's one of those stories that you wish you could delete because you think you could have done better, but then force yourself to leave it up because it shows your progress. Anyway, thank you so much for your lovely review, dear. I really appreciate it. Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection