This story was amazing and so beautifully written, I loved it. It was wonderful.
I did spot some mistakes though:
["I want fully custody of Scorpius."]
Fully should be FULL
[...left him with a since of pride, of control]
since should be SENSE
[a few snowflakes felt to the ground...]
felt should be FELL
["Mummy, please" ]
there should either be a comma or a period
["Get out now,"]
a comma between get out, now
women should be WOMAN
I think that's it.
Aside from those, this story was absolutely wonderful. It was great to see how Scorpius was taking it after his mother had left five years previous. How he felt that it was mostly his fault for her leaving. How he felt him and his father were unlovable beings. Amazing characterization.
The entire time I was hoping Astoria wouldn't leave, but sadly she did. Fantastic story, I loved it entirely. Report Review
Great story. I have to admit I was a bit skeptical about this pairing, but the way you write it makes it quite convincing.I never saw this pairing as a possibility but they're growing on me!
I really quite liked it, especially Blaises interactions with his sister and his many thoughts. I also thought the bits where he's thinking of how his fellow slytherins would react to this situation was great, since people often think of what their friends would think about who they interact with, especially those who are ridiculed. Really believable that aspect. I really like his sister as well, she's a cutie, and the fact that his mother and new stepfather left her in his care.
There was, however, one error I did notice. It was the last line of the story. There are supposed to be quotations around "are going to kill me"
That was the only noticable error I found, there may be others but I wasn't looking for any.
Fantastic story once again, and I can't wait to read how this pairing pans out!Author's Response: thank you so much! i will be sure to fix that error right away. i typed this up last night and read through it but i am bound to make at least one mistake. thanks so much and please do come check out the next chapter when i update. this pairing grew on me too! Report Review
I adore this story, mainly because it's about Neville and Hannah! There are virtually no stories about him and Hannah. I love how you wrote them, their characterizations. The moment I got to the end of this chapter I was thinking "why couldn't there be more?" I really wanted there to be.
I liked the fact that they hadn't spoken in over five years over a petty argument, and even Hannah felt bad about it, but her pride got in the way. That was great.
The only mistake I think I might have found was:
"You make me breakfast on your birthday? What a girl I've raised!"
I think you meant "-MADE me breakfast on your birthday" if it's past tense.
Aside from that brilliant story, can't wait for the next chapter. :)Author's Response: the more is waiting! i try to get a chapter written before i put another up to keep it going, so i should have it up in a week or two or just whenever i finish chapter seven. thank you for pointing out that typo! i'll go fix that while i have it in my brain to do so. thanks so much for the review! i'm glad you liked it. Report Review
Great story, I liked it. A sad story, full of emotion though I'm not sure how I feel about the ending... her forgetting about him, really sad but that's what he asked her to do. However, I don't think you can forget someone you love so easily, it may take a while... who knows. Nice story though :) Report Review
I love this story so far! I can't believe it doesn't have more reviews! The description, impeccable really! I loved it. I'm hooked!Author's Response: Thank you! The next chapter should be up in a few days. :) Report Review
I really liked this, great start! I did, however, get a little confused from when the flashback ended and present time began, but that was all.
I can't wait to read more, please continue :)Author's Response: flashback flashback... ahh yeah XD whoopsy. it may very well pull a Lost on you and get a lot more confusing XDXD but i'll try not to. thanks so much for your review! Report Review
This is one of my FAVOURITE stories, I love it so much. This chapter was dripping with cute-ness, it was great. The ending was by far my favourite with the way Rosie was evaluating everything about her parents and Darco.
The way Draco acts towards Rosie is great. And even though there isn't a ton of romance between Hermione and Draco, the tension between them is fantastic!
I really hope you update soon.Author's Response: Thank you for the review and I am glad that you like it :) Report Review
I absolutely love this story, the whole betting thing, and how Ronald doesn't really care about Hermione's feelings.
Please continue, I can't wait to continue reading! Though, I wish there was some more description to go with the large amount of dialogue.Author's Response: Thank you very much! Your comments mean a lot. I so happy you enjoyed it. The next chapter is finished, but I already have a new story waiting in the validation queue, so I have to wait to submit it, but it shouldn't be too long---so keep your eyes open. :)
As for the description, I know what you mean, the earlier chapters were written a while ago, and I've been doing my best to add more description since then, the next one up might be similar, but after that they should improve description wise. I just get so consumed in the dialogue...:) Report Review
I really do love this story. It's realistic, and comfortable. Plus you kept her as the unique person she was in the Potter books, and I love that.
Amazing story, no wonder you won that award :) Report Review
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