Reading Reviews From Member: LilyFire
479 Reviews Found

Review #1, by LilyFireSybill The Seer: Sybill the Seer

14th October 2014:
This is certainly dark/horror enough for my challenge. It reminds me of something else I read once, but I can't really remembeer what it was. At any rate, it's very nice. I have a hard time critiquing second person stories because I haven't actually read very many, but I like the way you wrote this one. The way she expected a dedication to herself, since she is the one who actually taught, and then seeing her own future just moments before she died was fantastic. You've got a good story here.

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Review #2, by LilyFirePunishment by the moonlight: Punishment

14th October 2014:
First, thank you for joining my challenge and writing this. It certainly fits the prompt. :) I like the bit of back story you gave and it is very suspenseful, though I do question why she doesn't apperate them away? Other than that, the plot is very good. I would have liked more detail, maybe some of her inner thoughts or sensory information. Was her heart pounding? What did if feel like to be frozen? Was it summer or winter or spring or fall? (Of course, these don't all need/have to be answered, they just serve to draw the reader in more. All inn all, though, a good story.

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Review #3, by LilyFireThe Other Woman: XX

2nd June 2014:
I downloaded this and read it when I didn't have internet access and I couldn't put it down like.i was thinking it was one of the complete ones I got but it wasn't, and that is very upsetting. Well, in that I couldn't finish it. Its a really good story.

your characters are fabulous. Even the ones who only have a few lines are can tell they have their own personality. All of your characters are well rounded and all their own and there are so many of them so that is really an accomplishment. I really LOVE Rose. And all the different Malfoys you made is brilliant. I was so upset when Scorpius had his brother pinned to the wall, when I didn't realize it was his brother.

then the plot and side plots...i think you may be a genius. I don't think I could blend and have so many plots flowing so realistically and naturally as you do. You've really given me something to aspire to.

so, I can't wait for the next update, even if it takes a year for it to come. This is brilliant.

sorry for any mistakes, I wrote this on my phone.

Author's Response: Hello Lily,

Oh my goodness that is so annoying when that happens! I know exactly how you feel and I'm so sorry my story fooled you into think it was finished. There's twenty-six chapters in all incase you were curious.

Thank you so, so, so much! I love my characters and I love it when other people love them too. Haha, I couldn't just have ONE Malfoy. That would be boring. Yeah, Scorpius can get pretty mad sometimes - not often though, so when he does, he kind of loses it a bit. That may or may not feature in XXII.

Oh wow! I have about a hundred different Word Documents to keep up with all the plots in this and I really hope that I remember all of them but thank you so much! The next chapter is up and the following one is in the queue!

Irish Myth.

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Review #4, by LilyFireForget Me Not: bloom and wither

22nd May 2014:
OH MY GOSH THIS STORY. Like, I was entranced. I couldn't stop reading or look away. It was amazing. The details, the plot, the flow, it was all much better than words can really relate. I'm a little surprised that the weasley family would let Rose stay with that guy, but at the same time, I can see how it would happen. I really wanna know what happened to that jerk, though. I hope they throw him into whatever hole the dementors were put in.

Your story was just amazing. Like I said, I don't have the words to describe how much I liked it. It's brilliant!

Author's Response: Hello :) Thanks for stopping by!

Wow. Really? This is all such high praise! I'm glad you enjoyed so many elements of this one-shot!

I think that most of the Weasley family is more or less unaware. Rose herself is selfish. She enjoys the status and the money that come from him, but she also get the love and attention she wants from Scorpius. While her immediate family (and Harry's brood) would probably be aware, she is a grown woman, who is capable of making her own choices. Stubborn and selfish, with a thirst for high social standing don't always go well, so maybe they weren't able to convince her to do away with him. Another thing to consider is that Rose's relationship with Scorpius is more or less a secret, so they may well be under the impression that in spite of everything, she loves the guy. Finally, Rose is married to a powerful guy who might not take it well if people stood in his way. Rose's family is powerful, but he just may be dark. Just some things to consider. I've left that bit a little open, I guess :p Sorry!

Thank you so much! I'm so happy you enjoyed this. I love this review. You are far too kind! :)

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Review #5, by LilyFireOf Final Thoughts: How to Say Goodbye

22nd May 2014:
Hi, here from the swap. :)

This was actually very very good.I like how you explained everything, how Caradoc went from wanting to show Moody up to wanting to impress him. The voice was very relatable and readable, which is a great thing to have done. I loved the way you explained how he ended up in his situation, by missing small details that most people probably wouldn't have noticed that much anyway. I actually have nothing negative to say about this story, just keep doing what you're doing. It was wonderful.

Author's Response: Hey there,

I'm glad that you liked the dynamic of Caradoc's change in attitude towards Moody, it was something that I should have more strongly emphasized, as he did become a close friend. I wanted him to be stewing on the details, because that's what he thought Moody would've noticed...and thus would've saved him.

Thanks so much!!


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Review #6, by LilyFirePeace: I am all alone

20th May 2014:
Hey, we swapped ages ago and I am just getting here with your review. Sorry!

Okay, so first of I really liked this. The emotions came through really well, and the tought processes and just...all of it. I feel like it would have had more impact if, at the end, someone had found her or the story just cut off or something. I don't know, really. But I feel like the way this ended took it from sad to a ever so slightly lighter tone (not much, mind you). Still, it was good and like I said, a very good insight into her situation. I thought for sure the video would make her smile or happy, but I can see how watching her wedding again would make her sad.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the nice review! I can understand cutting it off to have the bigger impact, and I may change my mind some day and do that, but I don't know, I kinda am liking the sweeter ending :) Thanks again!

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Review #7, by LilyFireWhen Summer Fades: equinox

20th May 2014:
Hey, we swapped ages ago and I'm just now leaving you a review for it. Sorry about the really long wait!

Okay wow. This is brilliant. I love that you havenít added in any romance yet. Donít get me wrong, I love a good romance story, but this, where itís just two people being friends (even in this situation, maybe especially this situation) is brilliant. Showing that two people can be friends and be close and care for each other, especially a guy and a girl, without things turning into a relationship is great. Iím still not sure if youíre going to turn this into a relationship or not, but I feel like whatever it is you decide itíll be great. I was uncertain if I would like this story. I mean, the summary was interesting but I wasnít sure if it would keep my interest, but I canít wait for you to write the next chapter.

Regulas and Summer are wonderful characters. You characterize them so well. They really come to life on the page (or well, you know). I love the conflicts youíve set up. Regulasí on which side of the war heís on, the friendship of Regulas and Summer, and then Regulas being a DE and yet starting to see things differently than his Ďfriendsí. You have an astounding story here.

Author's Response: Hi there! Wow, I had totally forgotten about that review swap so this was an awesome surprise! No worries :D

Ahh ajaksdajf thank youuu that is so wonderful to hear! There are a lot of romance stories out there, but ones that are just about friendship are hard to find. I think there's a lot to be explored with friendship, and especially with someone in Regulus' situation - I am so happy to hear that you like it! And I'm glad this held your interest despite your initial uncertainty about it.

Thank you, I am flattered that you like the characterisation of Regulus and Summer. It is so wonderful to hear that they come to life after just one chapter, honestly that's such a huge compliment ♥ They do have quite a lot of conflicts facing them - it's a tough place they're in.

Thank you for this amazing review, it really made my day!

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Review #8, by LilyFireJordan & Parsons: A is for Adultery, Awkwardness and Albus Potter

11th May 2014:
Oh,this seems really cool. The introduction was perfect, setting up history and plot and tone without being boring or overdone. Alicia's quite the character, and I really like her voice and thought process. Was she named after the Chaser on the Gryffindor Quidditch team (or is that her mom) or did Lee just forget about her?

I'm confused as to why Albus wants to be part of a business if he's a professor, but I guess that'll be covered later. I also like how you introduced all the employees and what they do.

The plot you be set up for the rest of the story seems really interesting too. I can't wait to see what happens.


Author's Response: Ooh thank you! I'm really pleased you like the introduction and that I didn't overwhelm you with all the introductions and background information! Yes, Alicia is named after the Chaser, as Alicia Spinnet (the Chaser) is friends with Alicia Jordan's mum. Both Alicia and Leanne have their first and middle names as Lee and Bex's (their parents) friends' names. Lee didn't forget about her; they're good friends!

Albus has some money in his Gringotts vault and he wants to put that to use by investing in a business because then he'll have a share of the profits that Jordan & Parsons make. He's a silent partner, so he won't actively be involved in the business, but the money will help him to have more cash or even to save up for the future. I'm pleased you like how I introduced the employees and that you like the plot!

Thanks so much for reviewing, Lily!

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Review #9, by LilyFireTriwizard Tournament: A Dragon's Tale: A Big, Yellow Eye

3rd April 2014:
This was an interesting insight into how dragons may work, especially those living in captivity. I'm guessing she was being transported to Hogwarts, but if I hadn't known that from the title, I would have been very concerned for her and the others.

Author's Response: I love dragons, both HP and otherwise, so I've thought about them quite a lot. She's actually going to Durmstrang, that's where the Tournament's being held the year in my story. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #10, by LilyFireThe Serpent's Tale: The Serpent's Tale

3rd April 2014:
This was an interesting view of the a female, no less. I enjoyed reading it and I love how she was actually there, no by her own design or desire, but by Slytherins. And I love that she really just wanted to be free. I wonder what she was thinking durning the second HP book?

Author's Response: In fact she's a female in canon, so that wasn't my originality ;) I'm glad you liked it. Could you imagine anything enjoying that kind of life? I'm tempted to write a later story when she wakes up, but don't have time right now. Thanks for the challenge, giving me an opportunity to write this story!

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Review #11, by LilyFirebreathless: breathless

23rd February 2014:
This was very emotional. Very...I don't even know. You used second pov very well here. I didn't even realize it was second until about halfway through the story. Her slow decent was very nicely done, the way you showed the delicateness of it all was wonderful.

the upturn of the story was amazing too. It was great, building from a firm friendship to a beautiful romantic relationship. I think realizing she has a family was my favorite part.

I honestly have nothing negative to point out about this. Fantastic job, dear.

Author's Response: Hi Lily!
Thank you so much for this lovely review! It was really wonderful to read, and I'm so happy you enjoyed the way I wrote Andromeda and use second POV! Both were new for me, so I'm thrilled that you enjoyed them! Thank you, thank you, thank you for the great review!
Cassie :)

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Review #12, by LilyFireJames Potter and the Empty House : Valerie

23rd February 2014:
First, this. is. AWESOME.

Second, this is a very interesting plot, and I'd like to see where you take it. The set up and the characters are both very nice and defined (though, I admit I didn't look to hard, so I thought it was James I at first).

The only 'big' problem I noticed with this was when you're writing dialouge, you'll sometimes mix the next person speaking and the current person speaking into the same paragraph (as evidenced in the 17th paragraph from the bottom). Even when someone is being interrupted, and new paragraph is needed.

Your detail is great, which I expected given the premise of the setting. All in all, it's a very interesting story that I'm interested in continuing. Thank you for swapping with me!

Author's Response: Ahhh! Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it!

I'll see if I can maybe make it a little clearer that its James II.

I always get all mixed up when I'm writing interrupted dialogue :P I'll do my best to fix it! Thanks for pointing it out!

I actually have a fair bit written ahead on this, so I should be updating regularly. Thanks for the swap!


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Review #13, by LilyFireLife As We Know It: chapter one

27th December 2012:
I am here from the HRS at long last. Sorry for taking so long. Okay, review...

This sparked my imterest on your page, and while I don't seek this paring out, I thpught this could be interesting. The first thing I noticed was the tone: it is very relaxed, but I think that could work for this. I think you have a pretty good start here, but to me, I don't really feel the hurt. It seems kinda superficial, at least at this point.

I do like how you have written Hermione though. The little quip about what the empty class used to be was very nice. I think it has potential, and could even be one of the best Dramonies out there if taken in the right direction.

Author's Response: At this point in the story, Hermione is really heartbroken about Ron being with Lavender and I felt that this would be a good place to start a dramione story as the person she did want didn't choose her. I'm glad that you liked the beginnng and I'll look and see if I can add in more to make her hurt more real. I'm glad that you think Hermione is written well though and enjoyed my little quip about the empty classroom. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #14, by LilyFirePicture: One

27th December 2012:
Aww...this is a sweet story. And I like the Colin/Luna shipping, it is actually really sweet. It's very nicely done, I really liked how you took the phrase and used it in the story.

Author's Response: Thank you :)
It really isn't that good, I know that, but if its okay with you, I'll PM you when I update the revised version :)

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Review #15, by LilyFirePerfect Spiral: Perfect Spiral

6th December 2012:
To start out, I don't know how much you know about or like the hunger games, but I couldn't help but smile at this line, "the mahogany wooden floor". Just because of how much that line from the movie was spread around tumblr.

Okay, okay, onto the actual review. ;)
I normally don't notice these little things, but these jumped out for some reason...
Just a small detail, but at the beginning, you have reminder instead of remainder.
Then, this line: "around like a dee" just ends. End of the third paragraph.

Now, onto the story...
OH MY GOD. That was brilliant. I don't know how to describe it. It's like...I love it. You're inside her head, and her world has been crumbled down, and it is just amazing. I just don't even know what to say. The repetition of certain words was brilliant, the way you described everything was brilliant, and this story is just...

There are no words to describe it. Just... brilliant. I'm so glad I read it. I would love to know why he's leaving though...but it doesn't even matter. Not to the story, anyway.

Author's Response: Hahaha! That's great, i know HG and i had to go look up the clip and it just made me laugh because it's almost perfectly represents how Molly feels about her wooden floors. :D Too weird.

Ah, thank you so much for pointing that out, i'll have go in and change that :D

Thank you so much for your kind words and i'm really astonished by them. Thank you! I don't know what else to say but i'm really, really happy that you liked it so much.

Hm, he's leaving because sometimes relationships just don't work, he doesn't seem himself fit into this perfect life Molly has carved out for herself. It's too organized and I think it came to the point that he couldn't be who she wanted him to be and he can't deal with her anymore - her obsession with perfection and this life they were supposed to have together. But no, it doesn't matter too much to the telling of this story of why he left, only that he did.

Thank you so much for your review, i really appreciate it!!

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Review #16, by LilyFireSilver Linings: Alexa: When We Have a Few too Many

6th December 2012:
I think you've got a brilliant start here. It's very interesting, you've captured the who 'I don't wanna be a grown up!" thing very nicely, and it's very much...real. I hope you understand what I mean by that.

It took me forever to figure out who Nicky was, until you had Al say Dom. Then it made sense (I'm totally used to Dom as a girl).

I love how you ended it though. It's just the thing to make you want to read on, which I probably will do later. This is good, can't wait to see where it goes.

Author's Response: Yeah, most people see Dom as a girl. I just had to be silly and be different. :P

Thank you so much for reviewing. :)


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Review #17, by LilyFireIn The Friend Zone.: The Plan.

6th December 2012:
This is cute. I can see so much potential behind it. I can understand the relaxed voice, it makes it read so quickly, but I think you tell just a little to much. Maybe some show, instead of tell. I don't have anything to specificly point out, but I feel like instead of letting us (the reader) figure these things out through things that happen, you just come out and say it. I also have a hard time believing McG just agreed to let two students go to Hogsmeade, no matter who they or their parents are.

Like I said, it's got potential and I'd actually like to see what happens later so I'll probably be back, it's just some food for thought...though it's probably worth mentioning I have never watched the show you've based this on.

I do think you have something good here, and so far I like the way you write Scorp, so we'll see, eh? :)

Author's Response: Okay, thanks for the advice! I'll see where I can add some more "showing" :)

I'm glad you're liking how its coming along, and Scorpius. Thanks for the review!


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Review #18, by LilyFireTaking Initiative: Taking Initiative

6th December 2012:
It was interesting. A little funny, and really sweet. Though I think you should have put in a little more emotional things, especially when it came time for Molly to ask Arthur. You're message comes through clear and I can tell what they're feeling, but I don't feel it myself. I hope that makes sense. Anyway, it is a really sweet read, and I'd love to see how the date actually goes! ^.^

Author's Response: Thanks so much for this review. I just read through the story and its lacking in quite a few things including a little bit more emotion. So thanks so much for your suggestion. I do have plans to write a one-shot of their first date, so keep an eye out for it.


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Review #19, by LilyFireHarry Potter and the Conspiracy of Blood: Prologue

5th December 2012:
Wait just a minute. They start out dead? I mean...but...and why both of them? Why aren't they worried about their children? Or everyone else? I mean...they start out dead? And shouldn't Harry be upset that Ginny is dead? I just...I guess I should read the next chapter and find out, huh?

"Great," he mumbled to himself, "you're dead again."-- made me think of Rory from Doctor Who. I don't know if you like that or not, but it did, and I love Rory so that's a good thing. :)

This has certainly sparked my interest though, so I'll probably be back!

Author's Response: Hi, there!

They start out... somewhere. A meeting in between, if you will. King's Cross is a place of transitions.

The prologue is actually the beginning of a chapter that gets completely much, much later in the story, near the end. You're definitely asking the right questions. But the answers will have to wait.

I haven't ever watched Dr. Who, the old one or the new one. Being American, it just wasn't that big of a thing when I was growing up.

I'd love to see you back again. I promise it won't take more than 4 or 5 chapters to get most of the answers, although you will find a bunch more questions. ;)

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

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Review #20, by LilyFireHow It all began....: A tale of a sorting hat

19th June 2012:
It seems pretty cool. It's an interestimg take on the hat and it's creation. Good job. :)

Author's Response: Thanks :)

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Review #21, by LilyFireIt's Not Unusual: It's Still Not Unusual

3rd June 2012:
This was great! I mean like, really. I wrote a dramione parody once, but no where near the awesome level of this! You've done an amazing job! I was grinning the whole was through, and even "lol'd" at a point. Just...perfection.

Author's Response: Thanks a lot, glad you enjoyed it!

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Review #22, by LilyFireThe One That I Should Have Married: Regrets

4th March 2012:
You've got a good level of description here. I would suggest fixing the spacing a bit to only one space between paragraphs, saving more spaces for when you're showing time passing or something. Also, I would say if you're going to italicise something, no to underline it as well. If you want to put emphasis on a specific italicized part, then you should un-italicize it instead of underlining it.

Hope this helped! You have a good one-shot. Just try to keep what I've said in mind :)

Author's Response: Excellent! Description has always,always been the worst part of my writing,so Im glad to know i did fairly decent this time! I underlined it because it was a quote for a challenge:P so I tried to make it as easy as possible for her to know what the quote was! Thanks for the review!

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Review #23, by LilyFireHeartbeat: Force

1st March 2012:
I love the feeling and emotion you've put into this, it's really wonderful. I think you did a great job in showing the characters and Snape's views of everyone quite well. I wrote a Snape one-shot once, and I know the effort that goes into writing him well, so well done :)

Author's Response: You have no idea how nice it is to come back from an exhausting, dramatic day of school to two brand new reviews! Thank you so much for reviewing, it really means the world to me, especially on this story, because out of the ones I have right now, it's my favourite :p Once more, thank you!

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Review #24, by LilyFirePandora's Box: The Mission

1st March 2012:
You, my dear, are an amazing writer. I love your characters and your story and the way you've done this and *breathes*

Right. I like this story, a lot. I like the fact that they are out of school, I like the fact that she still hasn't figured out Remus is a werewolf yet, I love the intrigue you've added with her having a mission from Dumbledore, I just love everything. This has soo much potential (as a lot of first chapters do) but I can see an amazing talent to fulfill, or even surpass, that. I don't even remember what you AoC was, but whatever it was, don't worry about it. It's amazing.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! :)

When I first started writing this, I felt like I probably had a good idea, but I was a little worried about whether I was either wrong or just executing it poorly. I'm really glad that you feel like it has potential, and I hope that I can write the story to live up to it. :)

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Review #25, by LilyFireOut of Time: Behind the Times

1st March 2012:
You gave excuses that were unneeded. This was another brilliant chapter. I love how you had them interact and just everything about it.

Author's Response: *blushes* Thank you very much! I'm really happy to hear that you enjoyed how this chapter turned out. ^_^

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