Reading Reviews From Member: LilyFire
  
477 Reviews Found

Review #1, by LilyFireTriwizard Tournament: A Dragon's Tale: A Big, Yellow Eye

3rd April 2014:
This was an interesting insight into how dragons may work, especially those living in captivity. I'm guessing she was being transported to Hogwarts, but if I hadn't known that from the title, I would have been very concerned for her and the others.
~Lily

Author's Response: I love dragons, both HP and otherwise, so I've thought about them quite a lot. She's actually going to Durmstrang, that's where the Tournament's being held the year in my story. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

-Karou


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Review #2, by LilyFireThe Serpent's Tale: The Serpent's Tale

3rd April 2014:
This was an interesting view of the Basilisk...as a female, no less. I enjoyed reading it and I love how she was actually there, no by her own design or desire, but by Slytherins. And I love that she really just wanted to be free. I wonder what she was thinking durning the second HP book?
~Lily

Author's Response: In fact she's a female in canon, so that wasn't my originality ;) I'm glad you liked it. Could you imagine anything enjoying that kind of life? I'm tempted to write a later story when she wakes up, but don't have time right now. Thanks for the challenge, giving me an opportunity to write this story!

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Review #3, by LilyFirebreathless: breathless

23rd February 2014:
This was very emotional. Very...I don't even know. You used second pov very well here. I didn't even realize it was second until about halfway through the story. Her slow decent was very nicely done, the way you showed the delicateness of it all was wonderful.

the upturn of the story was amazing too. It was great, building from a firm friendship to a beautiful romantic relationship. I think realizing she has a family was my favorite part.

I honestly have nothing negative to point out about this. Fantastic job, dear.
~Lily

Author's Response: Hi Lily!
Thank you so much for this lovely review! It was really wonderful to read, and I'm so happy you enjoyed the way I wrote Andromeda and use second POV! Both were new for me, so I'm thrilled that you enjoyed them! Thank you, thank you, thank you for the great review!
Cassie :)


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Review #4, by LilyFireJames Potter and the Empty House : Valerie

23rd February 2014:
First, this. is. AWESOME.

Second, this is a very interesting plot, and I'd like to see where you take it. The set up and the characters are both very nice and defined (though, I admit I didn't look to hard, so I thought it was James I at first).

The only 'big' problem I noticed with this was when you're writing dialouge, you'll sometimes mix the next person speaking and the current person speaking into the same paragraph (as evidenced in the 17th paragraph from the bottom). Even when someone is being interrupted, and new paragraph is needed.

Your detail is great, which I expected given the premise of the setting. All in all, it's a very interesting story that I'm interested in continuing. Thank you for swapping with me!
~Lily

Author's Response: Ahhh! Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it!

I'll see if I can maybe make it a little clearer that its James II.

I always get all mixed up when I'm writing interrupted dialogue :P I'll do my best to fix it! Thanks for pointing it out!

I actually have a fair bit written ahead on this, so I should be updating regularly. Thanks for the swap!

Sam


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Review #5, by LilyFireLife As We Know It: chapter one

27th December 2012:
I am here from the HRS at long last. Sorry for taking so long. Okay, review...

This sparked my imterest on your page, and while I don't seek this paring out, I thpught this could be interesting. The first thing I noticed was the tone: it is very relaxed, but I think that could work for this. I think you have a pretty good start here, but to me, I don't really feel the hurt. It seems kinda superficial, at least at this point.

I do like how you have written Hermione though. The little quip about what the empty class used to be was very nice. I think it has potential, and could even be one of the best Dramonies out there if taken in the right direction.

Author's Response: At this point in the story, Hermione is really heartbroken about Ron being with Lavender and I felt that this would be a good place to start a dramione story as the person she did want didn't choose her. I'm glad that you liked the beginnng and I'll look and see if I can add in more to make her hurt more real. I'm glad that you think Hermione is written well though and enjoyed my little quip about the empty classroom. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #6, by LilyFirePicture: One

27th December 2012:
Aww...this is a sweet story. And I like the Colin/Luna shipping, it is actually really sweet. It's very nicely done, I really liked how you took the phrase and used it in the story.

Author's Response: Thank you :)
It really isn't that good, I know that, but if its okay with you, I'll PM you when I update the revised version :)


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Review #7, by LilyFirePerfect Spiral: Perfect Spiral

6th December 2012:
To start out, I don't know how much you know about or like the hunger games, but I couldn't help but smile at this line, "the mahogany wooden floor". Just because of how much that line from the movie was spread around tumblr.

Okay, okay, onto the actual review. ;)
I normally don't notice these little things, but these jumped out for some reason...
Just a small detail, but at the beginning, you have reminder instead of remainder.
Then, this line: "around like a dee" just ends. End of the third paragraph.

Now, onto the story...
OH MY GOD. That was brilliant. I don't know how to describe it. It's like...I love it. You're inside her head, and her world has been crumbled down, and it is just amazing. I just don't even know what to say. The repetition of certain words was brilliant, the way you described everything was brilliant, and this story is just...

There are no words to describe it. Just... brilliant. I'm so glad I read it. I would love to know why he's leaving though...but it doesn't even matter. Not to the story, anyway.

Author's Response: Hahaha! That's great, i know HG and i had to go look up the clip and it just made me laugh because it's almost perfectly represents how Molly feels about her wooden floors. :D Too weird.

Ah, thank you so much for pointing that out, i'll have go in and change that :D

Thank you so much for your kind words and i'm really astonished by them. Thank you! I don't know what else to say but i'm really, really happy that you liked it so much.

Hm, he's leaving because sometimes relationships just don't work, he doesn't seem himself fit into this perfect life Molly has carved out for herself. It's too organized and I think it came to the point that he couldn't be who she wanted him to be and he can't deal with her anymore - her obsession with perfection and this life they were supposed to have together. But no, it doesn't matter too much to the telling of this story of why he left, only that he did.

Thank you so much for your review, i really appreciate it!!



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Review #8, by LilyFireSilver Linings: Alexa: When We Have a Few too Many

6th December 2012:
I think you've got a brilliant start here. It's very interesting, you've captured the who 'I don't wanna be a grown up!" thing very nicely, and it's very much...real. I hope you understand what I mean by that.

It took me forever to figure out who Nicky was, until you had Al say Dom. Then it made sense (I'm totally used to Dom as a girl).

I love how you ended it though. It's just the thing to make you want to read on, which I probably will do later. This is good, can't wait to see where it goes.

Author's Response: Yeah, most people see Dom as a girl. I just had to be silly and be different. :P

Thank you so much for reviewing. :)

Sam.


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Review #9, by LilyFireIn The Friend Zone.: The Plan.

6th December 2012:
This is cute. I can see so much potential behind it. I can understand the relaxed voice, it makes it read so quickly, but I think you tell just a little to much. Maybe some show, instead of tell. I don't have anything to specificly point out, but I feel like instead of letting us (the reader) figure these things out through things that happen, you just come out and say it. I also have a hard time believing McG just agreed to let two students go to Hogsmeade, no matter who they or their parents are.

Like I said, it's got potential and I'd actually like to see what happens later so I'll probably be back, it's just some food for thought...though it's probably worth mentioning I have never watched the show you've based this on.

I do think you have something good here, and so far I like the way you write Scorp, so we'll see, eh? :)

Author's Response: Okay, thanks for the advice! I'll see where I can add some more "showing" :)

I'm glad you're liking how its coming along, and Scorpius. Thanks for the review!

-Amanda


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Review #10, by LilyFireTaking Initiative: Taking Initiative

6th December 2012:
It was interesting. A little funny, and really sweet. Though I think you should have put in a little more emotional things, especially when it came time for Molly to ask Arthur. You're message comes through clear and I can tell what they're feeling, but I don't feel it myself. I hope that makes sense. Anyway, it is a really sweet read, and I'd love to see how the date actually goes! ^.^

Author's Response: Thanks so much for this review. I just read through the story and its lacking in quite a few things including a little bit more emotion. So thanks so much for your suggestion. I do have plans to write a one-shot of their first date, so keep an eye out for it.

Charlie


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Review #11, by LilyFireHarry Potter and the Conspiracy of Blood: Prologue

5th December 2012:
Wait just a minute. They start out dead? I mean...but...and why both of them? Why aren't they worried about their children? Or everyone else? I mean...they start out dead? And shouldn't Harry be upset that Ginny is dead? I just...I guess I should read the next chapter and find out, huh?

"Great," he mumbled to himself, "you're dead again."-- made me think of Rory from Doctor Who. I don't know if you like that or not, but it did, and I love Rory so that's a good thing. :)

This has certainly sparked my interest though, so I'll probably be back!

Author's Response: Hi, there!

They start out... somewhere. A meeting in between, if you will. King's Cross is a place of transitions.

The prologue is actually the beginning of a chapter that gets completely much, much later in the story, near the end. You're definitely asking the right questions. But the answers will have to wait.

I haven't ever watched Dr. Who, the old one or the new one. Being American, it just wasn't that big of a thing when I was growing up.

I'd love to see you back again. I promise it won't take more than 4 or 5 chapters to get most of the answers, although you will find a bunch more questions. ;)

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #12, by LilyFireHow It all began....: A tale of a sorting hat

19th June 2012:
It seems pretty cool. It's an interestimg take on the hat and it's creation. Good job. :)

Author's Response: Thanks :)

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Review #13, by LilyFireIt's Not Unusual: It's Still Not Unusual

3rd June 2012:
This was great! I mean like, really. I wrote a dramione parody once, but no where near the awesome level of this! You've done an amazing job! I was grinning the whole was through, and even "lol'd" at a point. Just...perfection.

Author's Response: Thanks a lot, glad you enjoyed it!

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Review #14, by LilyFireThe One That I Should Have Married: Regrets

4th March 2012:
You've got a good level of description here. I would suggest fixing the spacing a bit to only one space between paragraphs, saving more spaces for when you're showing time passing or something. Also, I would say if you're going to italicise something, no to underline it as well. If you want to put emphasis on a specific italicized part, then you should un-italicize it instead of underlining it.

Hope this helped! You have a good one-shot. Just try to keep what I've said in mind :)

Author's Response: Excellent! Description has always,always been the worst part of my writing,so Im glad to know i did fairly decent this time! I underlined it because it was a quote for a challenge:P so I tried to make it as easy as possible for her to know what the quote was! Thanks for the review!



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Review #15, by LilyFireHeartbeat: Force

1st March 2012:
I love the feeling and emotion you've put into this, it's really wonderful. I think you did a great job in showing the characters and Snape's views of everyone quite well. I wrote a Snape one-shot once, and I know the effort that goes into writing him well, so well done :)

Author's Response: You have no idea how nice it is to come back from an exhausting, dramatic day of school to two brand new reviews! Thank you so much for reviewing, it really means the world to me, especially on this story, because out of the ones I have right now, it's my favourite :p Once more, thank you!

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Review #16, by LilyFirePandora's Box: The Mission

1st March 2012:
You, my dear, are an amazing writer. I love your characters and your story and the way you've done this and *breathes*

Right. I like this story, a lot. I like the fact that they are out of school, I like the fact that she still hasn't figured out Remus is a werewolf yet, I love the intrigue you've added with her having a mission from Dumbledore, I just love everything. This has soo much potential (as a lot of first chapters do) but I can see an amazing talent to fulfill, or even surpass, that. I don't even remember what you AoC was, but whatever it was, don't worry about it. It's amazing.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! :)

When I first started writing this, I felt like I probably had a good idea, but I was a little worried about whether I was either wrong or just executing it poorly. I'm really glad that you feel like it has potential, and I hope that I can write the story to live up to it. :)


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Review #17, by LilyFireHear us Roar: Growing Up Lonely

1st March 2012:
I think this is as good as the first chapter :) You are developing Ivy fairly well, and the style of your writing is wonderful. I do worry about how amazing she is with magic though, simply because I'm afraid that she'll turn into a Mary-Sue if you aren't a little careful with it. Right now, it's great though :)

This chapter was different that any I've read as well...I like it still.

Author's Response: This is such a brilliant review! Thanks for my comments about Ivy and my writing style - I really wanted people to know where she comes from so I can sort of justify things that happen later. ;P Trust me, magic is about the only thing she gets right during her time at Hogwarts, but even so when I come back to rerequest the next chapters (which I definitely will:)) I'd appreciate it if you tell me whether she's turning into Mary-Sue or not. ;)

Different from any other? That's brilliant. Thanks again for another amazing review!

~Aimee~


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Review #18, by LilyFireOut of Time: Behind the Times

1st March 2012:
You gave excuses that were unneeded. This was another brilliant chapter. I love how you had them interact and just everything about it.

Author's Response: *blushes* Thank you very much! I'm really happy to hear that you enjoyed how this chapter turned out. ^_^

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Review #19, by LilyFireOut of Time: The Worst Time

29th February 2012:
Again, you have entranced with your words. I dont know how you do it, bring the characters and scenes and everything to life in a womderful way so that they play before my eyes. I've read published authors with a lot less talent and ability than you posess.

And the plot of this story is so good. It still remimds me of The Time Travelers Wife, but I feel that Moody and Lily will never end up like the two from that story, while still thinking that maybe-just maybe-the woman in the portrait is Lily and that is why she doesnt show herself.

Anyway, its an amazing story.

Author's Response: Wow, thank you! :O I'm very glad to have written something that's had such an affect upon you. Your compliment is amazing, and I don't know what to say in response except for a big, happy "thank you!" It means an incredible amount that you think I have that much talent. ^_^

After these early chapters, the similarities to TTW die down, not entirely, but this story doesn't jump around in Moody's life - it's more linear than TTW - and of course the ending is different. Still with a touch of the tragic, but not quite so melodramatic as TTW. :P I'm not revealing anymore about the plot than that.

Thanks again for reading and reviewing the story! I hope that you enjoy the rest as well! :D


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Review #20, by LilyFireOut of Time: The Wrong Time

28th February 2012:
Wow. It reminds me a lot of The Time-Travelers Wife, I don't know if you've read it? But I think it's still brilliant and I love it, and I shall read it all! Really though, it's amazing.

Author's Response: I have read it, and certain aspects of it are here in the random nature of her time travel (seemingly random, I mean) and the way that she meets him at different times of his life. It's funny because I didn't even think of that book while writing - I had more of Doctor Who in mind, - but once I found out, I changed a lot for the next few chapters. ;)

Thanks again for reading and reviewing! I look forward to hearing more of your thoughts about this story. ^_^


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Review #21, by LilyFireOut of Time: Too Much Time

28th February 2012:
The beginning of this story is amazing. I just want to keep reading and reading and reading...you've got a great start. I'm not quite sure what it's about, since I don't like to spoil stories for myself, but it seems like it's going to be wonderful.

I love Lily so much-her voice is very real, and the story is too (well, you know what I mean). If this were a physical book, I wouldn't be able to put it down.

Author's Response: Thank you very much for trying out this story! I'm glad to hear that you've liked the first chapter and want to keep going - there's really no finer compliment to receive for a story. ^_^

I think I know what you mean about the real-ness of the story, and it means a lot that you find the narration and story real in that way. :D Thank you!


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Review #22, by LilyFireAfter We Fall: Chapter One: Prologue

25th February 2012:
Snape? But...he's dead...but...

I think that is an interesting concept. Why did Lily want to know if that was Snape? So many questions are running through my head right now. I don't know whay to say, other than this is a great first chapter to what is probably a great story!

Author's Response: Thank you! It's my first time writing a true mystery and I'm glad the first chapter worked well in setting up lots of "questions." Thanks for the review.

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Review #23, by LilyFireThe Time of Day: The Time of Day

25th February 2012:
So...he's a vampire? And she is too? That is interesting...And this story is really amazing too. I liked it alot. (Wow, that really.got.the statement across). It was wonderfully written, the words, images, everything flowing together so beautifully...And the concept was amazing. I kept trying to figure out who the little boy was, but I guess he's no one we've met before. I know its just a oneshot, but I would love to see more of it.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review. They aren't actually vampires, though I like that idea. It's meant to be an afterlife story. The little boy is Snape right after his death, with Lily being there to help him "move on." The fang marks on his neck are meant to be from Nagini. I'm glad you liked it either way.

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Review #24, by LilyFireDeliverance: Prologue

25th February 2012:
Wow. Just wow. And did I mention-wow? This is good-great actually. The description is amazing and this is a very powerful opening chapter. I can see this story going so so far. Its beautiful in a way.

Im not the best at grammar or spelling, but I did notice you left the word if out of here " along the floor behind them as were they carrying a heavy load of garbage".

And I think you meant chorus when you wrote course here, " . There was a course of something, a whisper in her head."

Those are really minor thing though, something you would notice in a read through. Im really excited to see what the next chapter brings!

Author's Response: Aww thank you so much for your wonderful, wonderful review! Thank you for your points, I'll make sure to correct them ;) Thank you so much for reviewing!

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Review #25, by LilyFireLegend: Hello, Goodbye

24th February 2012:
It's certainly interesting, that's for sure. I can't say I've ever read a story like it at all. I think you're characters are every unique too. I have never read a story with Scorp or Al like this :) Like I said, it's interesting, and could go to great places.

Author's Response: Thanks! I actually was surprised to hear that, for me, Al will always have low self esteem. Thank you for taking the time to review!

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