Amazing!! Loved it!!
Can't wait for the next chapter!!

x

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awesomeness story! loved it! these are my fav lines in this chapter:
“I’ll bet you one of them will kill the other by the end of the week.”

“I wonder if she’ll get to see him naked.”

I laughed so hard at it! Although here and there the grammar and spelling could be a bit better, it was great!
Update soon, will keep track of this one =]
x

Author's Response: Aww *blushes a bit*
Thank you for reading and reviewing
and im so glad that you love it!!
:Dani

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haha. funny =]]] beautifully written

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haha. thanks for this. cleared up a lot of stuff for me =]

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aww!! it took me at least an hour to read this entire thing from chapter one when i found it =]]
i cant believe its coming to an end!
it was really good and I can't wait for the next 2 and a half chapters =]]

Author's Response: Thank you for reading and reviewing! I am glad you liked it enough to read in one sitting. :) I should have another chapter up soon. :)

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okay. i commented on the second chapter, but something got messed up so I'll continue it here:

'I loved it. Just one question, why is it rated M'??
either way,
awesomess story, update soon!!

x

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awwz. loved it. I

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haha. lollz. loved it!! amazing =]]
btw, ok i couldn't help but notice that your banners are AMAZING!! im writing a story called 'Hidden Sight' and I was just wondering if you could make one for me. of course i'd give you all the credit. I would really appreciate it!
u really r an amazing banner maker!!

x

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LOVED IT! This is like the fifth time I've read this but the first time i've had an account and read it :PPP
It never ceases to amaze me! It's literally the BEST fanfiction i've EVER read. And trust me, I've read a lot =]]]
You should write more like this :P
You won the challenge didn't you? If u didn't, I'll go swear at the judge :PP

Truly a Master Piece ^_^

ASimpliGawjussSlytherin

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oohh. lollz. suspension =]]]

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haha. lovely lovely lovely!!
genius i tell you =]]]
xx
i wish there was such thing as 15/15 :PP

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haha. love where this is going :PP

x

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lollz. loved it =] skillfull writing. really.
cant wait to read more =]

x

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OMFG!!! i LOVED that! simply AMAZING!!!
lollz. 'You're going to ruin Granger's life because you are bored?'
i laughed so hard at that :P don't know why...i just did :PP

omg. im gonna read more now!!
10/10

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i thought this could've been improved in a few aspects like:
punctuation - there weren't enough full stops or commas.
speech - this could've been a monologue but those few (two or three) pieces of dialogue didn't fit. Either more or less speech would be nice.
paragraphs! - it was effective for some parts to only have one sentence per line, but for others it kind of ruined it.
add more detail
i dont want to seem like a snob or anything, i promise! its just pure constructive critism! but it was a really good story with a good plot!

ASimpliGawjussSlytherin

Author's Response: okay
i will
thank you


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