Reading Reviews From Member: melian
  
481 Reviews Found

Review #1, by melianHopeless: They're going to die, you know

14th March 2013:
I must say that I always hesitate a little when reading something in second person. It just doesn't sit right with me for some reason. That said, however, I thought this was absolute gold. I was a little unsure at first whether we were listening to Harry's thoughts or what the locket was telling him, but as I read on (and saw it was the former) I realised that they were one and the same thing. He was thinking that because the locket was telling him to. This is a really poignant look into a part of DH that we dont' think much about, which is strange considering it was in Harry's POV. I think, though, that this sort of thing was more than likely when Harry was looking after the locket, and he just chose not to impart that information in the narrative (so to speak). Really, really well done and quite inspiring!

cheers, Mel

Author's Response: Thank you for this review. I'm sorry that's it taken me so long to get back to you.

Second person pov was a bit of an experiment for me, so I'm glad you thought it worked well for this story. I really wanted to put the reader into Harry's head. I agree that this isn't a part of the story that we think about too much. I think it's really easy to get down on Ron for leaving the trio, without actually considering what the three of them are going through.

I think of the three, Harry would be best able to cope with the locket (I mean, Voldy has been in his head for years, and he's faced dementors quite a few times). During the day, when he could distract himself with other things, I think he would be at night. However, at night, I think it would be much more difficult to shut the thoughts off.

Thank you again for leaving such a lovely review :)


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Review #2, by melianSnake Bites: Floo Powder

14th March 2013:
Well, interesting start to a story! I'm not sure about Hermione as a teacher, as I seem to recall that she worked in the Ministry, but if you want her to teach Charms then so be it. I'm curious, too, as to when exactly this is set - we know how old Greg Bennett is, but not people like Neville or Hermione which would give us a bit of context. I'm sure that will come later though.

As for the idea of wizard children mentoring Muggle borns - well, I can just see that going down like a lead balloon. Certainly worth a try though. :)

Author's Response: Hi there :)

Thanks for the review. There's enough in this one to pin this at 2017 - Hermione mentions Rose being school-age in a late paragraph. That's given her 20 years to work at the ministry, anyway. As McGonagall mentions, Flitwick's just called it a day...

Hope you keep reading and keep enjoying it!

Sheriff


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Review #3, by melianThe Lion and the Serpent: The Fall

14th March 2013:
Nice start to a story, Jenna! I can just see Albus Dumbledore telling tales and Elphias Doge sitting at his feet, listening in raptures. And with that mental image, the nickname "dog" that the Slytherins used does have its relevance. I've never really thought much about Dumbledore's school life, but this is a believable rendition of it.

I must say too that I particularly liked your description of the landing in the water feeling like sinking into a large Christmas pudding. Very evocative and extremely well put. Nicely done!

cheers, Mel

Author's Response: Thank you so much! This is my least feedback'ed story so it's so wonderful to hear something about it. Especially good stuff. ^_^

I'm glad that you liked the opening and thank you for taking time to leave a review! --Jenna


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Review #4, by melianThe Three Generations: Sorting Ceremony: Scorpius Malfoy

14th March 2013:
Hogwarts: a Revised HIstory? I loved that. I wonder who revised it? I can just see Hermione doing something like that.

Back on topic, though, again you surprised me with the House you chose. Like I said in the last review, I just expected that all these people would end up in Slytherin, whereas in reality only one of them did. (In this telling, at least.) I hope Astoria was right and Draco would support his son whatever House he was in, because I can see him being very disappointed that the Malfoy tradition wasn't followed.

All in all this was a very engaging, thought-provoking set of one-shots, and I'm glad I took the time to read them. Well done!

Author's Response: Thanks for dropping by again!

Yes, I thought that so many things happened in Hogwarts after the trio's time so someone (or maybe even Hermione, as you said) could have revised it xD

I am glad I succeeded in surprising you, as that was my intention. Yes, Draco has changed and he should definitely support his son - and it is not like Scorpius ended up in Gryffindor - and Astoria is there with him too.

I am pleased you liked all the three little stories. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #5, by melianThe Three Generations: Sorting Ceremony: Astoria Greengrass

14th March 2013:
Hufflepuff? Well, that did surprise me, I must admit. Granted, throughout the story she didn't really show the traits of a Slytherin, but I suppose that with the three people you were profiling that they would all end up in that House. Silly of me, wasn't it? Anyway, I thought this was an interesting look at the Sorting of a character we know so little about. Nice that she was so open minded as to where she would end up, though I suspect Daphne would have been disappointed they didn't share a House. Good story! :)

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing again! I wanted to try out something new so I put her in Hufflepuff. Astoria is pretty much a blank slate when it comes to canon anyway =)

haha not silly at all. I wanted to show how 3 people of the same family could be different in their personalities =)

I am glad you found this interesting and liked Astoria's open-mindedness. Yes, Daphne would definitely be disappointed xP

Thank you!


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Review #6, by melianThe Three Generations: Sorting Ceremony: Narcissa Black

14th March 2013:
Very nicely done! I like the juxtaposition between the expectation that she behave like the lady she has been brought up to be, and the little girl wanting to express herself. It seems a little odd to me that Narcissa would be seen as an arbiter of change, though I suppose there iscertainly an argument for that.

One thing that did strike me is the description of her having strawberry blonde hair. Narcissa is always portrayed as having white blonde hair, not with a tinge of red as strawberry would indicate. Not necessarily an error, but something that struck me as odd.

Anyway, that nolwithstanding, I thought it was a very interesting take on her Sorting. Well done!

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! Sorry for the delay in responding.

I am glad you liked this, and the way I showed how Narcissa was caught up between the lady and the girl. I think she could be the arbiter of change - after all, if she had not lied to Voldemort about Harry being dead, things would have turned out very different in the end.

I thought that perhaps as a child she could have had strawberry blonde hair and it grew lighter over the years?

I am glad you like it though, thank you!


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Review #7, by melianTask One Challenge: The First Heir of Slytherin: Task One Challenge: The First Heir of Slytherin

14th March 2013:
This is a really thought provoking story! I never really think much about the founders, but the idea that Gryffindor (great etymology for his name, by the way) raised Slytherin's son is inspired. I also liked the sorrow Salazar had on news of Godric's death, as it shows that even though the two men had their differences, they were still fond of each other right to the end. They way the younger Slytherin went about seeking his father was also interesting,and I particularly liked the way Salazar chastised him for not using every weapon at his disposal, even the killing curse. This really demonstrates the influence Gryffindor had in raising the boy. A really well thought-out piece and one that has impressed me no end. :)

Author's Response: Hi Melian! I'm so sorry it's taken forever for me to respond - it's not just your review, promise!

Ooh I'm SO happy that someone commented on the etymology of his name! Haha! I'm rather proud of that bit. I love etymology and really wanted to work out how these strange names could have come into being.

The back story/history I built up in this one-shot is something I'm very keen to develop into something longer one day. Thanks for the encouraging review!
Athene xo


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Review #8, by melianHer Hero: Choices

14th March 2013:
"Is he asleep now?"
"Yeah, let's call it asleep." LOL!

I'm rather curious about La Oscurità, not least because I went to school with someone with a name very similar to Danny Rayner. The idea that they would kidnap Hugo Weasley in order to get at Theodore Nott, though, seems a little on the strange side. They barely knew each other so why would anyone try a tactic quite so obscure? Oh well, I'm sure all will be revealed in coming chapters.

Really enjoying this story, Sam, aand that little scene at the end really added to it. Look forward to you posting more!

cheers, Mel

Author's Response: Haha, I liked that part, too.

La Oscurita are a very powerful, very scary gang, consisting of both muggles and wizards and everything in between. They're ruthless and evil and fun to write.

They took Hugo for two reasons - one, they know that Theo likes Hermione but that he'd still be objective enough to work because Hugo isn't his in any way, they want Theo dead for putting their boss, Danny's brother, in jail; two, they consider Hugo special and they're looking to make him a member when he's older.

Thank you so much for leaving a review! I hope finished it and liked it. :)

Sam.


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Review #9, by melianHer Hero: Bad

14th March 2013:
Aw, how sweet! I kind of like how you did it : short, bereft even, yet promising. But enough of that.

As the parent of a six year old, I can fully understand why the kidnappers would be a little concerned at Hugo's lack of emotion. My child would certainly be crying much more, and much less accepting of the situation. Sure, my child is not a prodigy in the way Hugo seems to be, but yes, it would definitely be a little disconcerting. I don't really get why Hugo isn't sharing anything with Zabini, but I guess that will come later.

Onwards I go!

Author's Response: Hey!

Hugo is a very smart, very secretive child. He doesn't talk to anyone much, especially not a stranger (he only knows Blaise works with his mum). He's very unusual.

Thank you so much for leaving a review!

Sam.


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Review #10, by melianHer Hero: Daniel

14th March 2013:
WEll, that's a good question. Daniel is not exactly a name you see associated with Potteverse very much (unless you're talking about Radcliffe). Nice introduction of Zabini, too, first from Hugo's POV and then from Theo's. I hope he's okay because he sounds like a good sort. Have to say I don't hold out much hope for whoever the bloke is that they're really looking for, though.

You've really got me hooked on this story, Sam. Excellent work :)

Author's Response: Yeah, Daniel is way too common for them to get an answer straight away; it'll take them some time to find the one they want.

Blaise is the good sort... mostly. :P You'll find out who they're looking for soon.

Thank you so much for leaving a review!

Sam.


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Review #11, by melianHer Hero: So Like His Mother

14th March 2013:
Smart kid, that Hugo. I like the idea of him writing a hint down on the comic book when the kidnapper wasn't looking - as Theo said, a lot like his mother. Of course, the fact that it's a restaurant is a little confusing, unless that was just something Hugo had heard the man say and didn't know any context - it does seem an odd place to take a child, though. Of course, it's possible (even likely) that it's nothing to do with that restaurant at all and it means something completely different, so you've got me there. :)

Again, I"m really liking what you're doing with this - and the scene with Ron was priceless. Like Theo I am rather curious about the circumstances of the divorce. Good story!

Author's Response: He's very smart. The restaurant is a place to go until they know what is happening with Hugo; it's owned by the people who took him as a place to go that won't be suspected because it's just a restaurant.

Thank you so much for leaving a review!

Sam.


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Review #12, by melianHer Hero: A Place to Start

14th March 2013:
More plot thickening! I love it. But first of all I want to talk about the conversation between Theo and Harry. I don't think you're a parent yourself but you really do have the right mindset to be writing something like this: You GET it. And not a lot of people really do. A situation like this can be a minefield to write about, but doing it from the POV of the investigator rather than the parent leaves just that little bit of separation, which is proabably needed: having this from Hermione's POV would be so emotive that it would probably be hard to read. So I guess what I'm saying is that I appreciate the approach you've taken with this and I think you have the parental reaction pretty much down pat. Thumbs up. :)

I'm curious about Theo's relationship with Ginny, though I'm sure more of that will come out later. Now, to find out about the man with the scar.

cheers, Mel

Author's Response: Hey!

No, I'm not a parent, but I'm the oldest of all the kids in my family, so I've been around parents and looked after kids. I'm glad you think so, because I was a little worried. :)

They're just friends, they met when he was in Auror training with Harry.

Thank you so much for leaving a review!

Sam.


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Review #13, by melianHer Hero: The Woman of his Dreams... Literally

14th March 2013:
Ah, a nice turnaround there with the link back to Adam's comic shop in London. I wasn't expecting it but it so works. :) And I can fully understand why Hermione would be so keen for someone - ANYONE - to find Hugo. As a mother myself, I can't imagine anything worse than having a child go missing. It was very Hermione, though, to have her break down only momentarily before catching herself : I can see her not wanting to appear vulnerable before someone like Theodore Nott. Overall it's quite good characterisation, from what I've seen, so well done.

Oh, and the tan line? I'm curious. What happened to Ron?

cheers, Mel

Author's Response: Yeah, I couldn't get rid of Adam. He was stuck with me.

Harry is the easiest for me to write, but I feel okay with Hermione; it seemed like something she would do in that situation. I'm glad you agree. :)

Ron is fine.

Thank you so much for leaving a review!

Sam.


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Review #14, by melianHer Hero: Believing

14th March 2013:
Oooh, nice touch! I admit that the dream sequence thing is often overdone but I thought you carried it off nicely here - especially the way she fell to her (presumed) death because he wasn't able to save her. And the face being familiar yet not readily identfiable? Again, nice. Thanks to the banner and summary I have a good idea who it is, but I really buy his confusion.

And he has a child? Hmmm. I'll be interested to see how that impacts on your plot.

cheers, Mel

Author's Response: A dreams, I don't like writing them unless they're important; Theo's are important ans I'm very happy that you liked them.

Yeah, you can guess who the woman is. :)

His child should have a big impact.

Thank you so much for leaving a review!

Sam.


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Review #15, by melianHer Hero: You Know How to Stay Strong

14th March 2013:
Sam, I have to admit it: I'm intrigued. I love the idea of a seven year old Theodore Nott discovering comic books - somehow it kind of fits with the intelligent loner that JKR always made him out to be. Also appropriate, given his background, that it's the nanny who is looking for him (a couple of hours later? What was she doing?) rather than a parent, because we certainly get the impression with pure blood families that child rearing is best left to people outside the family. Sigh.

Anyway I'm keen to see where you're going with this so I'm going to read on.

cheers, Mel

Author's Response: When I first started planning Theo as a character, comics were one of the first things I thought of. They just seemed to fit him. And then I got this challenge and it was perfect.

His nanny was thinking he wasn't so far from home.

Thank you so much for leaving a review!

Sam.


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Review #16, by melianTask One Challenge: Reclaiming the Sword of Godric Gryffindor

14th March 2013:
That was beautifully done, Debra! Full marks! Though now I just REALLY hope that I don't think too much of your version when the time comes for me to write this scene. I think you did a great job, though. You really captured Ginny's hot headedness, Neville's reluctance (yet acceptance that he is in fact the right person for the job) and Luna's slight dottiness - the Moon Frogs were inspired. :) And just asking for the Sword outright when Snape appeared? Brilliant. Ballsy, sure, but brilliant. I really liked your take on this, Debra. Make sure you write more! :)

cheers, Mel

Author's Response: Mel! I think I squealed for half an hour when I saw that you reviewed me as well. It was one of the best surprised I ever had on this site. It meant so much to me!

Of course I'd feel flattered if you think of my version when you reach the moment to write this missing scene haha. But as talented as you are, I am not worrying that you'll find a very original way of depicting it ;)

I can't tell you enough how much it means to me that you find the new Trio IC. Characterization is one of the aspects of a story that I take most care of because to me it's one of those things that can unhook you from a story faster than blinking. If you feel that a character is not how he should be (or close to the original version) the plot means too little. You just can't go on. Or at least I can't for sure.

Again I thank you so, so much for taking the time and visiting me. You made my day!


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Review #17, by melianIf Only By Blood: Chapter 1

14th March 2013:
Oooh, spooky! What a great start to a story, I must say. I can really feel the absolute loathing that James has, and the grief and accompanying frustration that he has not been able to express that grief. Well done! And then, the twist at the end? Not what I was expecting. Sure, i've read a few next-gen stories where James and Albus are warring, but over this? The death of Lily, which James is blaming Albus for? Never. Now I want to know what the background to this stuation is, because it has to be very significant to be breaking up the family like this. Really, really well done. :)

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Review #18, by melianA Cunning Connection: Chapter One - "Are you Guys Ready Yet?"

14th March 2013:
This is a promising start. There are a lot of canon errors, of course, but it's okay to write an AU story, especially one like this which has Hermione having a very different experience leading into her seventh year than JK Rowling gave us.

I will say that I find it unlikely that anyone who called their first child Hermione is unlikely to go with anything as modern as Tyler and Kaden for the next two, but then again you could explain that away by having her father having named her, and her mother choosing the names for the boys. Either way, it's not a huge deal, just something I noticed.

There are also a number of minor punctuation errors throughout this chapter, so if you have trouble with that it might be worth engaging a beta to iron out those little things for you. It just makes it much less distracting to read for people like me who really notice that sort of thing.

Otherwise, I thought this was a promising start. Best of luck with it!

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Review #19, by melianLove and Loyalty: Winter Wonderland

14th March 2013:
I assume that the Twilight references were intended? Calling him Edward, giving him that description, and then having him a vampire as well - well, that was the icing on the cake. Aside from that, I thought it was a nice start to the story. Having the American school in Salem was a great idea, and the hint of travel to the HP universe (grandmother in London) is nicely done. I can see that the US wizarding world doesn't use quite as old-fashioned given names as the British one does, but that actually adds to the setting: leaving the new world behind as you journey to the old one. Nicely done!

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Review #20, by melianAmbition: Ambition

14th March 2013:
I thought it was a very nice story, to be honest. There was enough of Lucius' pureblood superiority, if you like, that permeated all the way through it, and the interactions with Narcissa were very well done.

There were just a couple of things that bothered me, though. First of all, I'm not really sure about Lucius Malfoy calling Andromeda Black running off with Ted Tonks a "miracle", becuase that implies it's a good thing. Perhaps "noteworthy" or "shocking" would have been better words. Secondly, if it was after the Easter holidays in seventh year for Lucius, then Sirius would have been well and truly 13 by then, and it's likely Lucius would have been aware of that.

Aside from those minor things, though, I thought this was a really interesting read and a good take on Lucius' character. Well done!

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Review #21, by melianBravery and Courage: Bravery and Courage

14th March 2013:
Wow, what a lovely story! I admit, the lack of punctuation at the end of dialogue did annoy me (a lot - but that's my inner editor coming out) and there is a change of tense in the very first paragraph, but they barely detracted from the story. Having Neville - someone whose story we know oh so well - counselling a student (and even though it's Rose, it could really have been anyone) about whether they belong in their House is really lovely to see. No one understands how that feels more than Neville does, and it's great that he can help Rose to see that the Hat doesn't only see what we are at eleven, but what we have the potential to become. Beautifully done!

Author's Response: Yes, the punctuation is dire neeed to a good comb through! And I will get round to fixing it, I promise! I'm sorry it annoyed you so much!

I always thought Neville would be that professor that everyone and anyone could talk to, and the one that all the students went to with their problems.

Thank you so much for the lovely review! :D
I will definitely go back and get rid of those errors!


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Review #22, by melianPhoenix in the Ashes: What Was Lost

14th August 2011:
This was a really interesting look at Regulus and his family relatonships, past and present. The juxtaposition between Sirius and Bellatrix was really striking, and the Regulus POV was quite haunting in a lot of ways. "My little prince" indeed. That whole prince motif was really well entrenched in this story, from the first words to the last, and they showed Reg's progression from naive and innocent child to Marked Death Eater, ready to take on anything in the name of blood purity. Chilling, yes, but also just right. Excellent job!

melian (gryffindor)

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Review #23, by melianPhoenix in the Ashes: The Wooden Doors

14th August 2011:
Finishing school and heading out into the real world is certainly a good fit for the prompt, isn't it? And you've got James really well here. I liked his reflections on his Hogwarts career, especially the dates with Lily which were an unexpected source of humour. His hopes and dreams for the future were also spot on - not hugely arrogant, yet still hopeful and realistic, which is nice because often James is portrayed as insufferably up himself. Here, he's matured, which is why Lily agreed to go out with him in the first place. Great job!

melian (gryffindor)

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Review #24, by melianPhoenix in the Ashes: Finally Normal

14th August 2011:
I often think that Remus' story is one of the most fascinating that we didn't hear. Just getting to Hogwarts at all was a huge achievement for him, so I can really see him not caring which House he gets into - getting an education in the first place was enough of a coup. Of course, establishing that friendship with the other Marauders was life-changing for him, and you've captured that really well here. I can feel his nervousness at starting school, his joy at finding people to talk to, his relief at finally being considered "normal", as you said. Having Sirius in Gryffndor, as someone he had already been speaking to, was an added bonus. Really well done and a story that needed to be told. :)

melian (gryffindor)

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Review #25, by melianPhoenix in the Ashes: Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them

14th August 2011:
Charlie and his dragons! Another aspect of Potterverse which is often neglected. This is a lovely story of Charlie discovering this as his new love, and his relationship with Hagrid is absolutely spot on. We saw them in GoF chatting away like they were old friends, and I think you captured that really well in this story. Really welll done. :)

melian (gryffindor)

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