Reading Reviews From Member: angeless7fallenstarsong
  
92 Reviews Found

Review #1, by angeless7fallenstarsongOur Side of the Story: I, Scorpius

17th March 2011:
Second chapter = equally brilliant.

I'm really liking Scorpius as a character. :) Some of his thoughts seem a bit feminine/silly, but it can be difficult to write guys. He's so tortured! I love it! :D

"When it’s quiet, I think too much." = BAM. SO TORTURED.

He's also a little bit affected, but, you know, character choice. Plus, he's sexy and tortured, so he's allowed to be affected. :)

This is so engaging and dramatic and cute. Also, points for watching Brit Skins as opposed to the horrible American version.

Can't wait for more!

Author's Response: Thank you! Scorpius is my lit love. If I could marry him, I would. He's so deep! SWOON.

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Review #2, by angeless7fallenstarsongOur Side of the Story: I, Lexi

17th March 2011:
Okay. This is Ange from the forums with the first of your many long-owed reviews (you know, from that challenge that you won roughly...twenty years ago?)

I don't know how to put this gently, so I'll just tell you that THIS IS HYSTERICAL. You have exactly the fun, easy, hysterical style that I've never been able to master. (My writing is super angsty and serious, ALWAYS). You might need to mentor me in this...?!

Personal favorite line: “See, that’s a cool story. I was named after my aunt. Who’s dead. And who was a stripper.”

A little critique - The atmosphere seems a little casual for Hogwarts, but that can pass because it's Next Gen. Also, I think it would be interesting to get a bit more detail about Lexi's personality, why she makes certain decisions, etc. But as this is the first chapter, you'll obviously have time for that later. :)

On to the next chapter! So excited to read some Scorpy! :)

Author's Response: Ahhh thank you! No worries about it, I'm super behind on reviews too(:

THANK YOU SO SO MUCH.

Thanks so much! The critique will be put into action... uh, sometime soonish.


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Review #3, by angeless7fallenstarsongMaybe...: Only friends

17th March 2011:
Hey... Roughly fifteen decades later, its Ange with your challenge-winning-review-things! :) I have no idea how many I owe you, so I'll just muck around and review stuff for a bit.

It's all very cute. :) Your dialogue seems very true to the characters.

My main suggestion would be to watch out for little grammatical errors, etc. I'm a sucker for grammar. ^^; Also, although your dialogue is very good, I'd suggest adding some more prose. Maybe more description or insight into the characters' thoughts? (Obviously these are just my humble suggestions!)

Also - what exactly did he catch? Maybe I just missed something, but the last bit is sort of confusingish.

Great job :) Super cute!

Author's Response: haha yes I noticed that most people got very confused towards the end and as i tried to write my second chapter i came 200 words and then it stopped... so I've changed it a bit ;) I'd be more than happy if you re-read and found out what it actually is! haha

Mm, I am actually quite happy that the dialogue worked out so well in this piece as I see Lily/james as more of a on-going conversation than actual surroundings :)

Can't help my grammar- haha it's simply not all in my brain, but I love the story telling :)

Thank you for the review!

*huggles*


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Review #4, by angeless7fallenstarsongLosing My Reputation (and Finding Something Else): Losing My Reputation (and Finding Something Else)

11th January 2011:
Hey :) Thank you for your lovely entry!

Awww, poor Toire. From the beginning, she's a very sympathetic character (as in, reader feels for her). I don't see why people would make things up about her or dislike her because she's good-looking, though. I mean, I'm sure not *all* the boys would be too intimidated to approach her and not *all* the girls would be horrible and jealous. But anyway, not a big deal. I can believe it.

"It's Teddy Lupin. It's always been Teddy Lupin." I love this bit.

Small grammatical error here: "I assumed it was Dom, she was usually bored around this time." You should probably use a ; or a - instead of the comma.

Awww. :) I love Teddy from the very beginning. He's so sweet and comforting-ish.

When he tells her she's beautiful, I'd cut out the dramatic protest. It seems a bit awkward and melodramatic. I would imagine she'd just sort of be...shocked.

Again, loving Teddy.

"I thought I was snogging Teddy, Aunt Ginny." :) Another good one. Not sure about the "threw some condoms at me" bit, though... Maybe you could just have her say playfully, "be safe," or something like that.

Haha, the fan club... Normally, that would weird me out - but somehow, you've gotten away with it. It just fits in with the story flow and style - cute and quirky and a little bit odd. :)

Overall - I love this completely and absolutely. Thanks again from entering the challenge - stay on lookout for the results, which should be posted up to a week after the 15th.

Ta ta! Ange OUT. :)

Author's Response: Thank you!

The whole everyone hated her / was scared of her thing: I know that it's not always that realistic, but it works better for the story. You can kind of see what happens at the end with the confrontation with Smith. Smith hates her, and she's queen bee, so everyone else hates her.

Ahhh I love that part too. :)

Thanks for the note! I'll be sure to change that.

Teddy... I love him. She is shocked when he tells her, but since she thinks he only has brotherly feelings toward her, she's still in 'spill her guts' mode and doesn't want to bottle it up anymore.

Ginny... is the cool aunt because she's not that much older than Victoire. She loves her niece, but she's wanted Victoire and Teddy to get together from day 1. But she also doesn't want to become a great-aunt just yet... :) I'll look at that, thanks.

Thank you! I was trying not to make the fan club extra creepy. Glad that it worked.

Thank you so much for the amazing review! And for the amazing challenge!
-Olwyn


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Review #5, by angeless7fallenstarsongCreatures of Delightful Light: Creatures of Delightful Light

6th January 2011:
Hey! :) This is Ange from the forums. I'd like to start by thanking you for your entry and telling you how wonderful it is. :)

As always, I'm going to take the OCD road and comment on the spacing. I'd suggest you use the simple editor (it doesn't mess up the spaces) to go and even it out. You can submit edits to a chapter while you put a new chapter in the queue! :)

Awww, I like Ernie from the first paragraph. This version of him definitely fits in with the canon. I think you mean "narcissistic" instead of "narcissus," though.

I love the idea of the first years "finding out where they belong" and of Ernie being unhappy with the discovery.

The paragraph that begins with "Hannah Abott came to be..." is. Brilliant. (Although Weird Sisters should probably be capitalized.) I love Hannah as you've described her. :) And the paragraph after that is cute, too. It's funny how sometimes you just can't help but love the strangest people.

Awww, he goes to find her. :) Cute.

In the paragraph that begins with "In Ernie's hastened pace..." you've misspelled "Lumos."

Ahhh :) I completely and totally loved it. Thanks again for submitting!

Author's Response: I am so happy that you liked the story!

Read your review and of course I immediately skipped off to edit the chapter :) thank you so much for the suggestion of using simple editor.

I found Ernies character quite quickly and I always try to follow cannon because it is much more pleasant to read. I have always imagined him a bit stuck-up and trying to be better than everyone else...

Had to have Hannah in it to show him what is right... I am so happy that you liked the way I described her! it's a bit different to how I usually describe people but I love discriptions of characters that are like that.

Thank You so much for liking the story and Thank You so so so much for making it a favourite. Made my day :)

*huggles*


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Review #6, by angeless7fallenstarsongIt's a Date: It's a Date

19th December 2010:
Aw :) Thank you, Santa!

This was just absolutely adorable. I can't even sum it up in words. I love love love that Scorpius is a Gryffie! :D

And heheh. "I get dry hands - don't look at me like that!" = possibly the best line in the entire chapter.

I love how Scorpius reacts to Victorie's presence. He's such a little goofball. :)

Thank you so much for my prezzie! *happy dance* Happy holidays!

Author's Response: Yay! I'm so glad that you liked it. :D
*joins dance* Happy Holidays to you as well!! --Jenna


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Review #7, by angeless7fallenstarsongOn how to deal with one's culpability: On coming face to face with what has been done

18th December 2010:
Awww, poor Ginny. I've always been curious as to how she looked back on her first year.

"...Tom Riddle had changed her, had taken her innocence away..." this is probably my favorite quote. It's just haunting and delicate and pretty.

I love the relationship you write between Ron and Ginny, but I imagine she'd be equally comfortable around her other brothers. Especially Bill and Charlie, who would be almost fatherly to her. But I guess she doesn't see them as often :/

Oooh, never mind. New favorite quote: "...everything went black around and inside Ginny Weasley."

I really love your style. :) Thanks for another great read!

Author's Response: Thanks for this review, I know it's a tough story and really not for everyone to read.

I agree with you on the relationship between the Weasley siblings; Ginny would most likely feel close to all of her brothers (except maybe Percy...) but Bill and Charlie are far away. Plus, the way I see it - based on how the twins acted in CS when they terrified Ginny to make her feel better - if they kept this course of action through the summer in order to make her feel better and think of something else, it probably wasn't what she needed...

Thank you once more for your review and your kind words, you are really giving me a wonderful HP christmas!


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Review #8, by angeless7fallenstarsongRonald's Box: Finding the box

18th December 2010:
Awww, I love it. :) I love the family dynamic between the Weasley siblings. It reminds me of the previous generation of Weasleys.

Just noticed a small typo - a few paragraphs in, you've misspelled "from."

Oh my God, I love it! Again, the clever detail you put into this is fantastic. ("...the small, one-armed Quidditch figurine...") Haha, and Lavender's necklace.

Lovely idea! Once I've finished reviewing the rest of your stories, I'll make sure to come back and finish this!

Ta!

Author's Response: Thanks how my wonderful, wonderful Secret Santa!!

I'm glad you enjoyed the first chapter of this light, feel good story. As for the typos, you'll see more with the next chapters (sorry) but not to worry, the story is currently undergoing beta-ing and will be edited early next year.

Thanks for your lovely words, and I hopw you have a great holliday!


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Review #9, by angeless7fallenstarsongThe Prewett Emancipation: Christmas 1975

18th December 2010:
Hello, this is Ange, also known as...*drumroll*... YOUR SECRET SANTA! I know, I know, try to control your excitement! :) For part three of your mega-awesome present, I am going to review at least one chapter of each of your stories. This is probably going to take a while, but I WILL GET IT DONE. *superman pose*

I would like to begin by saying that I *adore* Fabian. Although I guess I have no reason to, really, because we know nothing abt him from the canon. I still love him. ^^

Awww, I love the relationship between Fabe and Molly. :) Cuteness. And the Molly flashback is hilarious.

Oooh, some rebellion. I'd never really taken the time to think about Molly's childhood, but what you've written here definitely seems to fit.

I love the atmosphere at the Weasley house. :) Little Billy is so adorable! Fabian's not taking much care in wrapping the gifts was a small detail, but I loved that you had it in there. It fits with what Molly said about him not taking much care of his posessions.

And ooh, the dragon! Another totally fitting detail! :D And the teddy bear! I LOVE that you mentioned the teddy bear! :)

Poor Bill. I'm guessing that as a result of his childhood jealousy/exclusion he'll become a super-rebel-ginger and get his ears pierced. Poor guy. ;)

This was fantastic! Intricate, well-written, and just lovely overall. Can't wait to see the rest of your work!

Ta!

Author's Response: Hello oh great Santa and thank you for such a great review!

I really loved working with Fabian too; it was for a challenge and I'd never given him a thought before. This situation was only too fitting for him and I felt the need to include Molly in there too.
I love working with cannon, gives you the opportunity to work with small details and include tidbits of information that gives your character more color, in my opinion of course!

I love your assumption that Bill will become a rebel because of his constant exclusion as a child!!! You made me laugh.

Thanks for one more amazing review!


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Review #10, by angeless7fallenstarsongA Different Being: Weekends and Surprises

15th December 2010:
*sniff* This is your somewhat-Secret Santa with your final review. I've really enjoyed this story! I'll try to come back and read/review the rest once term ends.

Haha. The beginning was so cute. It definitely balanced out the terror of the last chapter's end. Nice job. :)

Awww, poor Willow. I'm in love with the line "Do you hate what we are?"

Oh, dear. Enter Zacharias. Is he going to be in this a lot? That would certainly be interesting.

Awww, Ronnie's so cute! ("Pocket anything and you'll be facing the Head Girl") Heheh. You write him so well. His dialogue is so perfectly Ronnish.

And lol :) "Nurse Weasley." Too cute. But oooh, what's Zacharias plotting? O.O

Haha. I LOVE BLAISE. I LOVE HIM! Willow must be super-powerful. :O Does she keep her energy low so that her powers don't get out of control?

Oooh, cliffhanger! :)

This is the end :'( Well, the end for now. I WILL get around to reading the rest of this - and in the meantime, I'll favorite it. :) I'm absolutely in love with your work. It's clever, believable, and...well...practically perfect.

10/10 as always. Love, Ange.

Author's Response: *sniff* It's alright, but your present was the best thing EVER! So thank you :)

Perfect is such a big compliment, LOL now I'm definitely motivated to keep writing. You're like the 8th person who made this your favorite! Thank you I'm beyond flattered!

It's really wonderful to read your reviews,

Love,
Saeli


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Review #11, by angeless7fallenstarsongA Different Being: Of Nightmares, Realities, and Bruises

15th December 2010:
I love the way you write the classes. :) It's spot-on.

And THOSE PLANTS ARE MAD AWESOME. Heheh. Silly Malfoy. :)

Oooh, the new professor seems interesting. I love Greek mythology! :D

OMG, it's BLAISE! *dances* I'm in love with him, just so you know. ;) I love Willow's musical talents, but I want to know more about them. Why does she love music so much? Why did she take up the violin/piano? Who taught her? Etc.

Oooh, the memory was haunting...

Another great chapter. I was kind of so wrapped up in it that I didn't leave a ridiculously long review. ^^;

10/10! To the next chapter!

Author's Response: I'm happy to say, there would be more plant-action!! (did that come off odd?) and Blaise will be in this more!

Thank you so much!

-Saeli


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Review #12, by angeless7fallenstarsongA Different Being: Innocence of Curiosity

15th December 2010:
Oooh, it's Harry and Won-Won! :) I like the dynamics between them. And I like Willow's moment of disgust. :D I hope we'll find out more about her as the story goes on - her quirks, etc. So far she seems very businesslike, prim, and intelligent - with the addition of a fiery temper.

In the paragraph that begins with "No one," I believe it should be "there have been a lot..." Also, Muggles should be capitalized, and I *think* Wizards should be capitalized, too.

Oooh, he doesn't have a Dark Mark? Curiouser and curiouser...

"Couldn’t they understand that I care about them so much?" This sentence is a little bit unclear. I'm thinking maybe it should be something like "Can't they understand how much I care about them?"

Awww, I love the relationship that Harry and Willow share. Cute.

Oooh, I liked the flash into Malfoy's thoughts. How he's trying not to want/like Willow but the notion is creeping into the corner of his mind :)

I love the idea of the Last Ball. Very clever way to slip a Ball into the story without making it cliche. ;)

And omg, that last line of Dumbledore's gave me some serious goosebumps. :O

Whoa, Malfoy. O.O Haha. I'm kind of wondering why Willow doesn't whip out her wand and curse the hell out of him, though. Maybe you could add in something about "she's too shocked to draw her wand..." or something along those lines.

"I won't hurt you in any way that isn't *fun*" = best. line. EVER. :D

Ahhh! Is she a vampire? She's a vampire, right?! I'm not usually much for vampire fics, but I'm kind of hooked on this. ^^;

Heheh, Ron... What a card.

And poor Harry, lol. Oh well.

10/10 again! See you in the next chapter! :) Love, Ange.

Author's Response: She's not a vampire! I won't be saying anything more than that :).

Harry and Willow moments I think are nice too, they're sort of close in a sense that they live almost the same lives, losing family and such..hehehehe.

As for Malfoy, well I tend to laugh when I read this chapter, I dunno what came over me really. The wand thing was because she has a bad habit of keeping it in her schoolbag as oppose in her wand pocket...may I should change that to make it more realistic, no?

I love to spoil Ron, LOL

Thanks for the 10/10!

Love,
Saeli


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Review #13, by angeless7fallenstarsongA Different Being: Reminisce

15th December 2010:
It's your not-so-Secret Santa again! :D

Once again, your beginning is absolutely wonderful. It really draws the reader in. I'm definitely curious as to what's tormenting/worrying Willow so much. That's a beautiful name, btw. Willow. (I'm kind of on a sugar high. Sorry about that.)

In the paragraph that begins with "I'am aware..." I spotted some errors. For example, I think you meant to begin with either "I'm aware..." or "I am aware." Also, "just as good" should grammatically be "just as well."

WHOOOP! ENTER MALFOY! ;)

I think Prefect should be capitalized. Again, I'm not *entirely* sure about that.

In the paragraph that begins with "Things change...," you have a small grammatical error. It should be "you, apparently, are immune..." instead of "is immune."

"Mudblood" should also be capitalized. I think...

In the paragraph that begins with "Albus didn't have," I think it should be, "Albus didn't have to die - neither did Alexander..."

I love the flashbacks. They're very illuminating. I really wanted to know what had happened after Harry had arrived at the Manor, and and what was causing Willow so much pain. You answered discreetly and poetically. :) Kudos.

Dude. O.O Lucius is scaring me. "He was drowned with the past and liquor" is an absolutely stunning sentence.

Haha :) Sir Conrad's a cutie.

Loved it! On to the next chapter :)

Author's Response: Hello there Previously-Secret-But-not-so-Secret-Santa!

Thanks! I've always thought I did their names wrong, I didn't bother too much with the meanings, but I came around to actually checking them, turns out I got it right...Imagine that, eh?

I really love the fact you are checking out the grammar, I've always been a little shy in doing that when I review LOL

You'll see more of the flashbacks in the latter chapters.

Much love,
-Saeli


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Review #14, by angeless7fallenstarsongA Different Being: It Won't be Long

15th December 2010:
Hello there! :) This is Ange from the forums with your Secret Santa gift! BE EXCITED. (I'm not technically a Slytherin anymore, but I signed up before I switched Houses, sooo...) I'm going to review this as I read it, so it might be a bit chaotic. Bear with me.

I love that you began with a letter. It reminds me of something JKR would really do. :) I also like how you jumped into the story instead of, you know, dilly-dallying (had to use that word).

I'd say your first sentence can do without the "now." You know, just "Harry was in his old room..." It makes it a bit cramped. Of course it's your call, though :)

There's a little bit of tense confusion toward the beginning of the chapter. You might want to check that over.

Some typos: In the paragraph that begins with "Another letter...," you've misspelled "already." Also, "check" should probably be "checked."

Oooh, he's been in the house for two years? Poor guy. :( Lupin's entrance is perfect. I love that you didn't forget to make him verify his ID.

I'm pretty sure Portkey and Patronus should both be capitalized. But I'm not completely sure... *ponders*

Oooh, the house seems so beautiful. I LOVE your description! This is definitely a strong spot. And oooh, the "Moonlight Sonata" is so beautiful and mysterious. For anyone who knows the song, it must really add a touch of that mystic, lovely element. :)

I like Willow already. Is she of magical descent? It would be super-cute if she was, as she's playing a Muggle song on a Muggle instrument.

And awww, they're reunited. I'm definitely curious to know more about their relationship and the background of the story. Can't wait to see how this unfolds!!!

10/10. Love, Ange!

Author's Response: o.O"

OMG I saw this like..just now and I was like, YAY!! I AM EXCITED! Thank you so much!!! WE *happy dance*

Sorry about that ^-^"
Thanks a lot! I started with a letter because I didn't want it to be too crowded, if that made sense.

As for the grammar stuff, thank you. I've actually started working on the revamping of this one :) (I was waiting for a beta, but everyone's busy lol )

Yup, she's of magical descent..she knows these muggle things cause her parents and her godfather are muggle-lovers.

Thank you
-Saeli


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Review #15, by angeless7fallenstarsongSeven Flowers for my Flower: Snapdragon

14th December 2010:
Aw, 10/10! This was too cute!

"James often found silly little things infinitely amusing." I love your descriptions of James. He seems so... Jamesish.

Awww. And "his young mind, still full of stories of brave princes saving beautiful princesses."

And the last sentence is adorable! :) This definitely deserves a favorite. Your style is charming and concise. Love it!

Author's Response: Thank you :)))

I really enjoy writing James. In my mind, he may be a git on the outside, but is very sweet on the inside. Aaand, he is probably a bit spoiled, too.

Thanks again for the sweet review and the compliment on the style,
Kail :)


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Review #16, by angeless7fallenstarsongNot A Hero: Not A Hero

10th December 2010:
Hey, it's Ange from the forums. Thanks so much for your submission! :) I'm going to review this as I read it...

Right off the bat, I'm going to suggest that you italicize the first paragraph so that the reader understands that this is what Hugo is thinking.

In the second paragraph, you used the expression "dropping wet." I'm not entirely sure what that means...

"...he knew very well that some names weren't listed..." I loved this sentence. It gets behind a Hogwarts student's understanding of the war/Ministry infiltration. Very nice.

"Luna Lovegood was not the sort of person his mother would want him to be seen with." GREAT sentence. It gets right to the point. I love those short, meaningful, one-sentence paragraphs.

Whoa, there, paragraph fourteen... O.O "Missing several limbs" might be a bit much.

"...that filthy Muggle he, Hugo, had to call his father..." Wow, this is powerful. It would be cool if you backed up that sentence a bit more. *Is* Hugo ashamed of his father?

I'm loving the paragraph that begins with "It was the stragegy of..." :)

The last two paragraphs are also brilliant. Poor Hugo :/ You've got a bit of tense confusion in your last sentence. If I may, I'd suggest you tweak it to something like: "Hugo Mattingley might not *have been* a hero, but at least he wasn't a murderer." (The "either" seems sort of redundant.)

Okay, wow. Sorry about the obnoxiously long review. ^^; Thanks so much for entering and submitting to my challenge, your entry was absolutely phenomenal! Winners will be announced up to a week after the deadline.

Ta ta!

Author's Response: Hey! :) Thank you for the great challenge ;) And that's cool (I always do that myself :P).

It's not italicised? Wow, that's bad. It is in my Word doc, and I always check the entire thing for stuff like this. Quite odd that I didn't notice this. So I'll change that when I edit this, thanks for pointing it out.

Dropping wet... it's a combination of dripping wet and sopping wet? :P I guess I accidentally mixed up those two. Will fix it :)

I'm glad you like those sentences :) That's always good to hear. And yes, I know the missing some limbs part is a bit drastic, but it's just what he heard. It's not necessarily true. In my head, he's only twelve or thirteen and while he knows about some stuff (like the listing of names in the Prophet), he might not know everything about the war. He knows what the Carrows' and Filch's torturing is like, so it probably wouldn't surprise him if there were actually students with missing limbs.

I'm not so sure if it matters a lot whether or not Hugo is ashamed of his father. It wouldn't change anything for him, as they'd still pick on him.

It's good to hear you like the last two paragraphs, thanks :) I suppose you do have a point with that, but to me, that almost makes it sound like he is a hero now, which he's not.

Haha, that's alright :) I like responding to reviews, no matter how long they are. Thanks again for coming up with the challenge in the first place :) I'm glad you liked the story!

Thanks a lot for your review!


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Review #17, by angeless7fallenstarsongBird: Fly Away

6th December 2010:
Awww. :) Lovely. This was such a unique approach to the challenge!

First off, though, I AM A FORMAT FREAK, and the spaces are uneven... ^^; The advanced editor tends to be the culprit behind this. I'd suggest that edit this using the simple editor and even out the spaces. (You can still submit new chapters to the queue while old ones are being read for edits.)

"...and daddy, please, for my sake, go on a date." This was one of my favorite lines. :) I love Eleanor.

The whole convo with Harry was great, too - I love seeing major charactes used as minor characters. It's an interesting shift from the standard story.

Loving the bird metaphor, but I'd suggest you start it from the very beginning. Maybe you could describe her hair as "feathery" or have her "trill"/"chirp" something. I love extended metaphors, and I think it'd work really well with the overall image of Eleanor. :)

Owen seems so frail, in a way. :/ Poor guy. I'd like to see his character developed a bit more - what does he like to do? How did he grow up? Was he a quiet kid? Does he remember Harry from their school days? (I think he started at Hogwarts a few years after Harry.)

Overall, this was fantastic. You really twisted the prompt and used it to create a fresh, original piece. Congratulations and thanks for entering! Ta ta!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review; I'm glad you enjoyed. I tried to do the formatting several times and honestly, I couldn't get because trust me, it annoyed me too.

Eleanor was a little dear to write. She kinda was inspired by a little neighbor girl.

The metaphor was just supposed to be about the whole scearnio, not for Eleanor but I like the idea of extended metaphors as well.

Owen is frail in a way. He has put his entire existence into being a dad the past few years so thats the only identity he knows. And as far as a character goes, this is just supposed to be a little window into a character. He may be someone I come back to play with and such.

Thanks for the review, angeless7fallenstarsong.


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Review #18, by angeless7fallenstarsongFaerieland: Prologue

3rd December 2010:
Oh, how cute! I love little Victorie and Teddy.

Victorie seems like sort of a loner already - not because she wants to be, but because she gets sort of shunted aside by everyone. Poor thing.

I love her little haven - Faerieland. I'm really curious as to what you're going to do with this. It's already a lovely story. :)

Nice work! Ta ta!

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm so glad you liked this and I hope you'll keep reading!

-kbhg


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Review #19, by angeless7fallenstarsongScarlet Molly: Part One

3rd December 2010:
Oh, poor Molly. :/ I *still* haven't seen "Easy A," but what a good idea for a fic! The angst and drama translates perfectly to the Hogwarts world, especially in Next Gen.

I've never thought of Rose as so out-there, seeing as she's Hermione's girl, but I like your image of her. :) Your characterizations are always very bright and unique.

Another brilliant work! I love your characters and the plot. Your writing is charming and funny. Nice work!

Taaa!

Author's Response: Thank You very much! I always hate how I write but everyone seems to love it haha

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Review #20, by angeless7fallenstarsongMy Little Caterpillar: One

3rd December 2010:
:O You're amazing. I'm so glad I did this swap thing; I've discovered so many amazing stories!

Your tone is delicate and feathery and conveys emotions with perfect clarity. Kudos, kudos, kudos. Your descriptions are flawless, as are your characters.

Oh my God. The letter gave me chills. Writing a letter for my son (I fantasize about having a son son. It's weird, I now. I want him to be just like James Potter...:)) to read when he grows up. ^^ Anyway, the letter is *so* cute and well-written. Especially the "over the moon" bit.

And I love the idea of Teddy as Tonks' "caterpillar." The transformation idea and all that. Brilliant.

It kind of reminds me of when Harry finds Lily's letter to Sirius in Grimmauld Place. It's funny how things recur, and different people can feel the same things.

Oh, the memory is too beautiful - words cannot express. :) Especially in the moment of connection between Reems and Teddy.

And your last line is absolutely perfect.

LOVELY work. Ta ta!

Author's Response: Yay! I'm glad you enjoyed the story :')
My aim was to make it seem like Harry finding Lily's letter so I'm glad you picked up on it.

Also, I thought the whole transformation thing would be perfect so I'm glad you liked that part too :')!

Thanks for the wonderful review!
Laurie x


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Review #21, by angeless7fallenstarsongOrigins: Origins

3rd December 2010:
Again, I'm going to be evil and neurotic and comment on the spacing. The simple editor works wonders!

This is another very original idea. :) Your descriptions are marvelous - I love the way you explain mythology with the Wizarding World.

I'd suggest some action - adding some narrative and dialogue, I mean. Other than that, you've got a pretty solid piece here! Congrats and taa!

Author's Response: I'll forgive the evil and neurotic comment on the spacing :P I do agree it's shocking and it needs to be fixed, but I'm just kinda churning out chapters at the moment rather than taking queue time to fix.

I'm glad you like the idea! I'm actually quite proud of this one, though that might just be because it combines my obsessions of HP and classical studies :P

I'll definitely look into including a bit of dialogue and interaction with the characters, once again when I have some time to edit :)

Thanks so much for the reviews! :)


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Review #22, by angeless7fallenstarsongRed Hair and a Beater's Bat: Just Quidditch?

3rd December 2010:
Another work of sheer brilliance :)

Your uneven spacing is kind of bothering me ^^; I'm sort of crazy about things like that. I'd suggest that you even out the spaces using the simple editor, as the advanced editor tends to add in spaces and generally wreak havoc upon your story.

I want to know more about your character - you've given a great deal of lovely detail about her personality, but what about the facts of her? Not necessarily her physical description, but the facts about her family, etc.

You've got a great start here! Keep it up!

Author's Response: Thank you :)

I'm aware this chapter needs a bit of work, especially with the spacing issue (it bugs me if/when I look at it again) but unfortunately spare slots in the queue for retouch jobs like spacing are few and far between when I have so many fics on the go at once :P This was the first chapter I posted when I first joined, so I was still getting the hang of the editors.

Athena's actually my most developed character--at least in my head anyway. I tend to disperse detail about her background/family/past throughout the entire story, rather than writing an extensive introduction in the first chapter :) This said, however, a lot of people have commented that they would like to see her better developed in the first chapter, so I'll definitely be having a look at that.

Thanks again for the review!


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Review #23, by angeless7fallenstarsongThe Letter That Never Came: The Letter That Never Came

3rd December 2010:
Oh my God. How heartbreaking. I've literally never read or even *seen* anything about Arabella before. This is so original and clever and sad.

The poor little thing. :(

My only real suggestion for this - as your grammar and spelling seem perfect and the story doesn't need much work in general - would be to flesh it out a bit. It's quite short. Maybe you could add some more dialogue or something to lengthen it out.

Loved reading this, I'm favoring it for sure! Taaa!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I've never read anything on her either, so I just felt drawn to share just a little of her story. I'm so glad the mood and emotions of the story are so strong, it's what I was really going for. I know it's quite short, but personally I feel like I've said all that needs to be said--I'll keep your advice in mind though :) Thanks again!

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Review #24, by angeless7fallenstarsongstealth.: Chapter One

3rd December 2010:
Oooh, very unique idea. I like the SIT thing. Is it Auror training, or for something else?

I encourage you to add more description and flesh out your character more. As of right now, we don't know much about her.

Lovely, lovely, lovely! Taaa!

Author's Response: Thanks for the CC and encouragement! I really do appriciate and it helps me greatly with my writing! :)

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Review #25, by angeless7fallenstarsongWhite Wedding: Chapter One

3rd December 2010:
Ohhh, weddings :)

I want to know more about your mysterious MC!!! Who is he?! The poor dear... Maybe you could add in a memory of the MC and Lucy together or something.

Another great story! Congrats and ta ta!

Author's Response: I was thinking of making into a story but I have no idea where to go with it so those questions will probably never be answered! Thanks for the awesome reviews!!

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