Reading Reviews From Member: dream_me_a_dream
  
62 Reviews Found

Review #1, by dream_me_a_dreamAnd the Willows Wept: And the Willows Wept

13th September 2009:
hey, tessae from the forums with your review! Thanks for re-requesting! :-)

Wow. that's really all I have to say about this beautiful little fic. Other than a couple of very minor spelling mistakes, it's absolutely lovely. Completely sad of course, but lovely. I think you've done perfectly with the characters and the description of Lucius's disease. Really nothing at all to critique! Thanks so much for requesting, hope to hear from you again soon! Definitely making the favorites list...

Author's Response: Thank you! :D I will look through again for the spelling mistakes...there are always a few that slip through no matter how many times I proof read! I'm so glad you liked it and thanks for favouriting :D
xxx


 Report Review

Review #2, by dream_me_a_dreamThe Summer of the Rat: 001

7th September 2009:
hey, tessae from the forums with your review!

I really like this chapter, my only thing is--it seems more like a continuation of the chapters you had up before than it does the beginning of a story in its own right. I don't know where the story is going so I can't really give suggestions, but for some reason I think it would be better if you kept the other two chapters and just added this one after them, then kept on writing. Not that this chapter is bad--I think it's very good. It's just that the hair plucking scene, then jumping forward all this time to the dead body in the basement seems a bit odd. Of course, it could all be part of your master plan and will make sense later on. :-) Hope I don't sound harsh, because I really don't mean to be. I think you are a very good writer, you are one of the best at descriptions and characterizations I have seen on this site. Anyway, I really don't have anything else to comment on, but thanks for requesting, and hope to hear from you soon!

Author's Response: I had to delete those because they were so random and jumpy. This story is going to have one main plot and it's sticking to it and it's chronological. I thought it would be weird if the prologue - chapter three were all non-chronological and plotless and then chapter four - the end followed a plot and were written completely chronologically. And also, it's really important for this plot that Kate and Peter were childhood friends. And I'm also pretty sure that Johnny will NOT be making an appearance in this version, so I definitely had to get rid of that! The chapter that was mostly just a conversation may reappear, but it will be integrated into a longer, more detailed chapter. I also felt like I was losing my style/voice in later chapters and I couldn't find a way to reintroduce the flow without it being like, "Hey, why did the writing style just change like that?" Does that make sense? I think this chapter will make sense later on, in the grand scheme of the fic. I have the plot mostly planned out and I think that their reacquaintance was a good place to start for the plot. You don't sound harsh at all! I don't mind hearing any and all opinions (besides "This sucks!" without any constructive criticism, of course) and I really appreciate your review. If I had to say one thing, I'd say not to focus on the dead body in the basement at all. Thanks so much for your review, your thoughts and your awesome compliments!

 Report Review

Review #3, by dream_me_a_dreamBreaking Point: Someone to Blame

7th September 2009:
hey, me again! not much to add to the last review, but I just wanted to drop you a line so you know I read this chapter as well! Thanks for reviewing, hope to hear from you soon!

Author's Response: Thanks Tessae. I know that they're really short chapters so it can be hard to offer much feedback on them, but as you know people are more likely to read stories with more reviews so this all helps get my stories to more people. :D

Shall re-request when I get more chapters up, or if I re-work what I've got according to your suggestions (if that's OK).

-odyssey


 Report Review

Review #4, by dream_me_a_dreamBreaking Point: The Fall of the Dark Lord

7th September 2009:
hey, tessae from the forums with your review!

You have a pretty unique story idea here and I like that--don't get too many truly unique HP stories these days! I think you do fairly well characterizing Bella, though I always imagined her as a litlte, well, crazier. But of course this is long before the books, so who knows, maybe she wasn't quite so crazy back then. :-)

one comment, and this isn't a major thing because it's really just a matter of preference, but I noticed that your style of writing seems a little distanced from the characters. You do a lot of describing what Bella is thinking and feeling, instead of actually having her think and feel these things. Does this make sense? For example, instead of something like "Bella sank to the floor in despair", you might try something along the lines of "All of a sudden despair overwhelmed Bella, and her trembling limbs betrayed her, causing her to sink limply to the floor." See what I mean? the first one is telling, the second one is showing.

Of course, that's not anything wrong with your writing, but from my experience most readers seem to prefer the latter, so I thought I'd point it out. After having the concept pounded into my head by many writing teachers it's hard for me to ignore anything... :-) And I hope that didn't come off as condescending, because I totally didn't mean it that way. But if it's any help, more power to ya!

anyway, thanks for requesting, and hope to hear from you again soon!

Author's Response: Hi Tessae!

Thanks for the lengthy review. I hadn't realised I was distancing myself from my characters that way, so I'll have a look at it and maybe go over it again. And don't worry, you didn't sound condescending at all and I'm not in the least offended. After all, this is how I improve my writing, right?

And thanks for saying it's a unique story - I've had that feedback for a lot of my stories on this site (or at least the ones that weren't written in response to challenges) - so maybe my mind just works in a slightly twisted way to come up with these things. :D

Anyway, thanks again, I really appreciate it.
-odyssey


 Report Review

Review #5, by dream_me_a_dreamBreathless: Ether Shadows and Phantoms

7th September 2009:
hey, tessae from the forums with your review!

I really can't find anything to pick at, even though I always try to give constructive critisism. Freddy seems to be characterized well, especially if I am remembering her character rightly from when you requested a review for your first story containing her as a character. I can't comment much on the plot yet as there is only one chapter, but if you like feel free to request when you've got more up!

Thanks for requesting, hope to hear from you soon!

Author's Response: Hiya Tessae!
Thanks so much for reviewing! I really do appreciate your thoughtful feedback. For some reason, I find first chapters the most difficult to write and I'm always terribly nervous when posting them.

I'm so glad you think the writing is solid so far. I was hoping this chapter wouldn't come off as too melodramatic. ^_^

Thanks again! I'll certainly re-request from you in the future. I hope you have a fantastic week!

Best,
celticbard


 Report Review

Review #6, by dream_me_a_dreamSmile: Smile

7th September 2009:
hey, tessae from the forums with your review!

this is a really nice little story, and I enjoyed reading it. I like how you have the bits of foreshadowing on MacNair, since he's going to become evil later. I also think you do very well describing what goes on in a person's head when they have a big crush on someone. I really didn't notice any negatives, even though I always try to give constructive critisism in a revew! :-) anyway, thanks for requesting, and I think you have a great story here!

Author's Response: Glad you liked it :)

I really enjoyed writing from Macnair's perspective...I never thought I would say that lol! I did want to challenge people's preconceptons about Death Eaters but also show that Macnair had the potential to turn into the person he did.

Thanks so much for the review! :D
xxx


 Report Review

Review #7, by dream_me_a_dreamRetrograde: The Reunion

4th September 2009:
hey, tessae from the forums, so so sorry it's taken so long, new job, crazy life, all the usual excuses...

anyway, first of all I have to say this chaper has left me wondering what exactly happened to Ron and Hermione! Guess I'll have to come back later to find out, huh? :-) So, some grammar and spelling mistakes, mainly extra commas and missing apostrophes. Nothing major. About the ending--since it's just a chapter end, I wouldn't worry about it too much. I think you have done well setting up for the rest of the story, though the part about the reunion seems very abbreviated. I would say definitely lengthen that, though without knowing too much about the story I can't help very much with suggestions on how. If you want, re-request when the next chapter's up, and maybe I can be a little more helpful? anyway, thanks for requesting! Hope to hear from you soon!

Author's Response: Yes, a lot of it isn't explained thouroughly in the first chapter, which that'll come in later chapters. I had a hard time finishing the chapter and that's what I came up with. I know that's not a good excuse, but I'll see what I can come up with for the second chapter. I would love your opinion on the second chapter! Whenever I get it posted that is. :/

Thanks for the wonderful review!


xx


 Report Review

Review #8, by dream_me_a_dreamThe Confessions of Young Sirius Black: The First Sighting

31st August 2009:
hey, tessae from the forums with your review! I'm sooo sorry it's been so long, life has been crazy!

I think your characterization does well, I'm not too familiar with Sirius's character so I might not be the best judge. overall you seem to be doing well with the story, though it's hard to tell so early in. There are quite a few spelling mistakes, but obviously you said you are working on that, so I won't say much on that. anyway, on to the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thank you it's ok I still need to review quite a people as well, lol

 Report Review

Review #9, by dream_me_a_dreamPicture Perfect: Before him

23rd August 2009:
wow, bit of a cliffhanger in the first chapter huh? Looks like you got a good beginning to a story here, of course as with all stories it's hard to tell how good they're going to be until you really get into them. There was a few spelling mistakes, but nothing too major. All in all, I think this was done pretty well.

one of the reasons I commented was to let you know that if you want a banner you can go to the website "the dark arts" (you'll have to Google it since I can' post links) and request one, and if you provide good enough details on what you want they will make you one. I'm just saying because it's very rare that someone will just come across a story and decide to make a banner for it, and I don't want you to think your story is bad because of it. A banner will also help people be more likely to read your story, so I would recommend trying to get one.

anyway, just wanted to put my two cents in since you said this was your first story on here...so, hope you keep writing, and welcome to the world of fanfiction!

Author's Response: yeah i know it was, but couldn't really give away all information lol. yeah i tend to make spelling errors alot haha... thanks :)... and thank you for recommending the website.

 Report Review

Review #10, by dream_me_a_dreamFreestyling: The First of Many Byproducts of My ADD

21st August 2009:
hey, this is tessae from the forums with your review!

the biggest comment I would have is that this is more an inner monologue than a story. I understand you're trying to be funny, but I would reccomend a more disciplined style, or at least sticking with one style. this chapter is a bit all over the place. It's also a bit short--nothing really happens over the course of the chapter.

now for the good part... :-) I think you characterize Lily fairly well, and you have a good narrative voice. Your personality (as well as Lily's) comes through very well in your writing, and I can tell you have a good sense of humor. I think you have the potential to be very good at this, it will probably just take a bit of practice.

I hope that helps...I would love to read the next chapter when you get it out, so if my review didn't sting too badly I would love to see the next chapter :-)

Author's Response: WOW! Thanks for such a spanking fast review!

I definitely understand what you're saying. There isn't much plot so far, as it's mostly character introduction. My idea for the following chapters is that each will relay the plot of what happened the day before *after* her History of Magic class. (Which, of course, will be one failed attempt after another to try to confess to Scorpius that she likes him.)

The style I'm going to stick with, simply because the idea is that the story is written on her history notes over the course of ten days, but I'll take your suggestion to add more plot, for sure. (It was already going to be the case, but I guess I'll try harder to focus on a little more action.)

As for length, honestly what I did was I sat down for the amount of time a "double period" takes at my school, and cranked out a chapter. I thought it would be more genuine that way. Reading back, though, it does seem awfully short. Hmmm...Maybe it won't be so bad if I fudge it a little. ;) Maybe witches have wicked fast skills with their quills.

Glad you noticed that both of our personalities are coming through. I usually try very hard to suppress myself, so none of my characters really come out like me, but with Lily, having never read a Next-Gen before, and at a loss for what to right, I didn't try to suppress myself because I figured it would be a good chance to cheat by letting my voice come through. Reading any of my other work, you'd think they are two completely different authors.

And funny you should mention practice! When I was in the shower today, the thought popped into my head that I might not be able to repeat the style or voice that came out in this first chapter, since I've written another one-shot in my old style since then. *worried*

This was definitely a helpful review! Exactly the kind of thing I was looking for when I requested, so thank you very much! Your review did not sting at all! I'm one tough cookie, and you left praise as well. I knew when I started to write this that it needed plenty of work. It's not my favorite thing I've done so far, but I like to challenge myself, and I'm trying to reach a wider audience of readers, so it felt like a necessary step to take. Anything that can help me improve will always make me happy! So, I'll let you know when I update. Thanks again!



 Report Review

Review #11, by dream_me_a_dreamCage: Let's Sit in the Back

21st August 2009:
whoa, quite the cliffhanger there! :-) I really can't find much to comment on, I didn't see any grammar or spelling mistakes, and I think you've done well with developing Clyde's character. Not much else to say...but I guess that's a good thing! :-)

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you like Clyde. I hope you enjoy reading him in the future =)

 Report Review

Review #12, by dream_me_a_dreamCage: Typical Tuesday

21st August 2009:
hey, tessae from the forums with your review... finally! :-) not much to say as the story's just beginning...but I' promise I'll write more on the next chapter!

my main comment is that the main character seems well done. I'm not a fan of some of the language used, but it does help define the character. I look forward to seeing what's going to happen :-)

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm not really a big fan of heavy cuss-use in real life either, but I thought it fit Clyde's character. Glad to know you liked him! Thank you ^_^

 Report Review

Review #13, by dream_me_a_dreamSomething Between Friends: Morning Chaos/Prologue

5th August 2009:
hey, I have to say that this is the first next-gen story that hasn't bored me nearly to tears because of cliche-ness! You seem to have even gotten Fleur's accent down, which very few people seem to do...
What can I say? I love unique stories, and it's also refreshing to read one where you aren't jolted out of the story every few seconds by a grammar or spelling mistake. I think it's a great story so far, Victoire is very strong as a narrative voice, and seems to be well developed as a character. *favorite* for sure!

Author's Response: Well I'm glad that you weren't bored by it! I tried to do something different than Rose/Scorpius. I figured you don't see many Teddy/Victoire pregnant stories, so that's the way I went. Thanks a bunch for the review! You pretty much gave me incentive to write the next chapter!

 Report Review

Review #14, by dream_me_a_dreamAny Other World: Chapter One - Play The Part

3rd August 2009:
hey, tessae from the forums with your review!

not much to say at this point since there's only one chapter, though it's pretty obvious it's AU. that's okay, AU stories can be good! :-) not much to comment on storywise at this point, if you want comments on the story itself feel free to re-request when you get another chapter or so up. saw a couple spelling errors, nothing major, and I don't remember any grammar problems. I think this is a good beginning to the story, you've made a solid base to build off from! thanks for requesting!

 Report Review

Review #15, by dream_me_a_dreamBlasted: Cedrella Black

29th July 2009:
hey, tessae from the forums! so sorry it's been so long, life has been crazy lately!

really can't think of anything to critisize, other than I think one chapter doesn't do this story justice. :-) I'd like to see more of the characters, especially the events that brought the characters together. but other than that, it's great! :-)

Author's Response: Oh, no problem! I can completely relate. Plus, you're the one doing the favour for me ;)

I'm glad you enjoyed it! It's really only meant to be one chapter just to give the reader an insight as to why a particular Black has been blasted, but the fact that you enjoyed it so much and wanted to read more means the world to me!

Thanks so much for taking the time to review!!


 Report Review

Review #16, by dream_me_a_dreamDarkness Consumes Me: The Discussion of Knickers

29th July 2009:
hey, tessae again! the forum site won't let me send you a message, so I figured I'd let you know that I'd love to help with the summary if you're interested. Another great chapter by the way :-)

Author's Response: It won't? Super-lame. Hmm, I'm willing to take suggestions, but I had a couple people say I should just keep it as is. That's weird that it won't let you send me a message. Thanks! :)

 Report Review

Review #17, by dream_me_a_dreamJust Because: Fear Of Falling

29th July 2009:
hey, tessae again, sorry I forgot to come back and do the second review! Not much to add, this chapter was pretty good as far as grammar and stuff! No real comments on plot, characters or anything! Great job!

Author's Response: Thanks so much!

 Report Review

Review #18, by dream_me_a_dreamThe Crimson Flow of Betrayal : Chapter One: The Birth of Scythe.

29th July 2009:
hey, tessae from the forums with your review, so sorry it's taken this long! life has been absolutely crazy recently!

anyway, this looks very interesting, I love minor/original characters when they are written well, and I think Antonin is. Not much to comment on storywise at this point, though I would like to point out that there are quite a few grammar/spelling errors, and several of the sentences are worded strangely. If you want to know what I saw, just PM me and I'd be glad to help! Other than that, great start to the story! Thanks for requesting!

Author's Response: Hey! Sorry its been like a year! But I am replying! lol Anyways thanks so much for telling me about the grammer/spelling mistakes. :]


 Report Review

Review #19, by dream_me_a_dreamJust Because: Miss A Quidditch Practice Or Otherwise Die

16th July 2009:
hey, tessae from the forums with your review! I think this is a good start to a story, I'm guessing it's gonna be Ellie/Oliverr? :-D I always like the stories about Quidditch, there isn't much of them. I did notice quite a few grammar/puntcuation/spelling mistakes, though the only somewhat major thing was that you add extra commas a lot of the time. Nothing to comment on other than that! Thanks for requesting!

Author's Response: you'll have ot wait and see if it will end up and Ellie/Wood. Haha, Surprises surpsies. Thanks for reviewing.

 Report Review

Review #20, by dream_me_a_dreamDarkness Consumes Me: Prologue

13th July 2009:
hey, tessae from the forums with your review, sorry it took so long!

Actually, this is really, really good! Exactly how I think a prologue should be, and very attention-catching! I really love it, and if you read my other reviews you'll know I don't say that often :-) I also love the fact it's about Peter, I despise him as a character but would love to see a story that might make me sympathize with him. :-) the only thing I would say is that if you hadn't requested I would have overlooked it because the chapter has no summary. I know you commented on not thinking you are very good with summaries, and I thought I'd let you know that I LOVE writing summaries, so if I can be of any help let me know. Thanks for requesting, please let me know when you update!

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm not really one for writing prologues, so I wasn't sure how detailed to make it. That is quite an honor to hear that you love it, then! Thank you very much! I wasn't really sure that I wanted to give chapter summaries for this story. For some reason, I think that the chapters are better left mysterious to fit the style of the story. What do you think? I would LOVE help with the story summary, though. It's killing me!

 Report Review

Review #21, by dream_me_a_dreamConsumed: An Intriguing Interview

6th July 2009:
Another great chapter! I thought some of the descriptions were a little awkward (the one's of Freddy's office) but other than that I can't think of anything to comment on. I will be happy to provide an example if you're interested. :-) anyway, still loving the story and can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: Hey tessae!
Thanks again for the great review! It was wonderful hearing from you. ^_^

I am sorry some of the descriptions were awkward for you. I will certainly keep your comments in mind when I go back and revise. ;)

Again, thanks for everything! Take care!

Best,
celticbard


 Report Review

Review #22, by dream_me_a_dreamConsumed: A Warning

6th July 2009:
hey, tessae from the forums! I waited to review because I wanted to do more justice to the story, and also because your later chapters seem to have less reviews! I really can't find anything to critisize, even though I usually try to! This story is ver well written, and Freddy is quite the...eccentric...character, but very well written and quite believable. The only thing I'd have a problem with was figuring out why she was allowed to become a teacher at Hogwarts...but if Snape, Quirrel and Moody made it through, I guess she could! :-) anyway, great story, looking forward to reading more!

Author's Response: Hi tessae!
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review! I really do appreciate your thoughtful, yet constructive feedback. ^_^

As to why Freddy became a teacher, there is much more on that in later chapters, especially chapter fifteen. She certainly would not have been hired by Dumbledore if she was without ability. The old Headmaster is not that crazy, hehe. ;)

I am so glad to hear that you are enjoying this fic. It really means a lot to me. I hope you have a great weekend!

Best,
celticbard


 Report Review

Review #23, by dream_me_a_dreamDeepest Star of Night: Chapter Three

28th June 2009:
maybe it's just me but I can't find anything to comment on except it's a good story! oh, I don't remember if I mentioned I'm Tessae from the forums? if I didn't, I'm doing it now :-) thanks for requesting!

Author's Response: Thank you for the reviews. I appreciate it!!!

 Report Review

Review #24, by dream_me_a_dreamDeepest Star of Night: Chapter Two

28th June 2009:
another good chapter, not really anything I could see to comment on! :-)

Author's Response: Thank you!!

 Report Review

Review #25, by dream_me_a_dreamDeepest Star of Night: Chapter One

28th June 2009:
I really like this, it is quite well written and very little mistakes at all. A couple things I say, and it's actually a bit silly that i noticed it. you wrote over packed when I believe it should be overpacked. Also, just a bit of POV switching, almost like you're doing omniscient POV, because first you say what one person thinks then what another one thinks, often within the same paragraph. it did get better later on in the chapter thoug!.you wrote over packed when I believe it should be overpacked. I like the fact that one of Lily's friends is in Slytherin.

please don't take this to mean I think it's bad! it's better than a whole lot of stuff I've read on here, I look forward to reading more!

Author's Response: Thanks for pointing out the error. I will make sure to go back and fix it! Actually planning on rewriting a little bit of the first couple of chapters soon since they were written a few years ago actually. Thanks for the review!

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>