Aw, that was so sad! Really touching though and I thought the aside bits in the brackets were just genious
I like the think that the other girl was another Weasley maybe? Dominique or Rose I'm thinking.
Anyway that was beautifully written 10/10 :) xxAuthor's Response: Thank you! Yes, I wrote it with Rose in mind, but it could be anyone really. Report Review
Wow, this is a really good prologue, I'm already hooked! I'm wondering what happened and whoboth the people are.
I'm also intrigued as to how the story's going to continue. Start with the past, slowly leading up to it, or straight from where he answers the door?
Anyway, update soon! Will be looking out for the next chapter :)Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'll be updating pretty regularly, as I have about ten chapters written, but I still need to revise before I update.
The narrator will be introduced in the next chapter, but the other person will be unclear for a while.
Once again, thanks for reviewing! Report Review
This is really, really good! It started off and I was like; damn, they're too perfect
But then it went on too saying they're not what they seem and introducing Holly as the other woman.
Your descriptions are lovely and the last two lines had me hooked. Can't wait to read more! :)Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! I wasn't sure if it was going to be taken well because it's from the opinion of someone whose normally hated (the other woman). So yeah, thank you for taking the time to review. The next chapter is being written right now. (: Report Review
I absolutely love this story and I actually can't wait to read the rest of it :)
And also, I LOVE NEVILLE. he's such a sweetums but, even though he gives him a run for his money, James is still my favourite! He's just great. Nuff said
10/10Author's Response: I'm so glad you're enjoying it so far!! And Neville is boss. I love his little cameos. He has another one I have yet to write in a couple chapters that I'm really looking forward to. Thanks so much! I hope you like the rest of the story! Report Review
Aww I love James/Avery and I'm hoping for plenty more of that in the 13 (wow, that many?) chapters I've got less to read
James has got to be one of the best narrators, he's so funny and I love how he is with his family as well :)Author's Response: Be prepared :) this story is going to hit well over 50 chapters. Plan your life accordingly ;)
I'm so glad you're enjoying James. He is so much fun to write and, well, he just writes himself. Which is super convenient for me, haha! thank you so much for the review! I really hope you enjoy the rest of the story! Can't wait to see what you think :) Report Review
Oh, that was mean. I got all upset and heartbroken when I thought that James and Sophie were together and Mara would just have to accept that, dropping Jack off for little visits.
This is a little sad, but I just realised this is the last time I'm going to be able to review your wonderful story :(
I've said it once before, when I was pretty upset I'm not going to lie, and I'll say it again, when I am much happier (EEE JAMES AND MARA) YOU ARE A FANTASTIC WRITER.
You're story flows really well and the dialogue is witty, touching, heartbreaking and just amazing frankly. Your charaterisation of Mara is absolutely brilliant and I really felt like I was on that journey with her, through all her highs and lows and I really rooted for her right from the beginning. I also love James, he was perfect, with just the right amount of humour and seriousness and the way he interacted with Jack was PRECIOUS. (Jack, also, I just wanted to eat him up, and I'm not a big fan of little kids.)
Aw, I do feel a tad sorry for Patrick though, he was a nice enough guy (a little boring for Mara though and he just wasn't James, was he?) and I'm just wondering what happened to him? For some reason, I can totally see him with Lily, haha.
And ALSO how did James manage to escape what would have been the biggest mistake of his life, i.e. his marriage? Did he just marry her and then was like, yeah... about the me taking you as my wife part...?
That would have been AWESOME.
Oh, I really could go on forever about how amazing your story was and I think you can tell from the length of this review how much I loved it. Seriously, I've never left such a long review.
I'm also sorry about not reading this right when it was finished because I really wish I did, but I've come back to hpff and yours was the story I really remembered reading so I left a special time in my day just to finish it :) I guess it's better late then never right?
Okay, I really am going to wrap up this review, and possibly see what other stories you've written.
Effy xxx Report Review
Really, that's all I can say. I honestly did think James would be a runaway husband or pull a Ross and say Mara's name instead of Sophie.
I HATE SOPHIE she was so horrible to Mara in the last chapter and I really don't think that she deserves James.
And even though I wished the chapter had ended differently I thought you wrote it perfectly - it was so sad and heartbreaking yet really sweet at the same time.
I don't think I've ever been this attached to a story on here and I just want to tell you what a fantastic writer you are :)
10/10 for the second last time xxx Report Review
EEE LOUIS LIKES HER
I love all the characters introduced so far ( yes, I even think Aaron's sweet, I mean getting that bracelet then not even caring when she didn't like it WAS SO CUTE )
Hope you update soon :)
10/10 xxAuthor's Response: Not that he particularly likes her, or know he likes her, yet. :) It's more that he knows about her irrational fear of being too close to people. And she was obviously really nervous, so his hero-complex kicked in and he saved her. :) xx
Thanks for the review :) Report Review
Aww, I really like Patch/Sophie and it's going to be interesting to see how the best friend relationship thingy plays out.
Really funny and great first chapter, 10/10 xxxAuthor's Response: Thank you. 10/10, that's generous. XD xx Report Review
Aw, I'd like more Albus POV to be honest and I love his and Scorpius's relationship.
Kinda gutted that James used June too but I really am curious as to what Al did to him :)Author's Response: Albus and Scorpius kind of have a bromance (: I'm glad you like it! And I'm sorry to upset you! But the reason why will be revealed in either the next chapter I write, or possibly the one after that.
All these reviews made me smile, I'm glad you are enjoying the story! Report Review
Hahaha, I love her responses to the letter, they were great!
And, to be honest, I'M KIND OF EXCITED ABOUT HER AND JAMES hehehe
Al seems a bit mean at the moment, and James seems like the jokey older brother so I think him and June could be really cute
I am still rooting for her and Al somehow though :)
Another great chapter! Effy xxxAuthor's Response: The letter part was so fun! And James and al... well you'll just have to see about that! But I really do love writing James, he is such a goofball
Thanks for another kind review! Report Review
I really like it, June seems like a really interesting main character and I like the way you've done their relationship
10/10Author's Response: Thanks so much! Haha when I saw you reviewed my story I flipped a little bit because I love your story so much! I saw that it updated and I'm DYING to read it, I just haven't had time with it being easter and all! I'm glad you like it so far (:
-ronsgirl29 Report Review
I really liked this chapter again but there are a few punctuation mistakes and at one point it doesn't seem to flow very well but I'm sure if you just looked it over you could fix all that :)
I'm really excited to see how Deb is going to make James fall in love with her, specially since they don't like eachother
Great chapter, again :) xxx Report Review
Ooh, I really like it so far.
Deborah sounds like a really interesting character and the idea of 'The Illegals' already has me hooked :)
On to the next chapter
Effy xxx Report Review
Ahh, I love it! Louis IS AMAZING
I'm really looking forward to the next chapter :)
And yes, that was a hint ;)
xxx Report Review
Oh James, how I love how you overreact :) Author's Response: There's plenty more overreaction where that came from. :) Thanks for the review! Report Review
AH, I LOVED IT! I haven't read this in a while but it was just as good as I remembered it.
The only thing though was that now I can't do Scorpius's voice without some slightly dodgy scottish accent. And considering I can't do accents it turns out welsh.
Ah, well it was still great!
10/10 x Report Review
N'aw, I love Ariadne :)
she's just such a great character and her thoughts are just hilarous.
10/10 xx Report Review
ooh i loved it! It's such a funny first chapter and ariadne seems like such a great main character :)
Ahaha, I love how Al just made her try out for the team and she just agreed without a second thought. And how he thought her fall was an amazingly cool dive
Hehehe, I love that boy :)
Effy xx Report Review
Oh wow I loved it!
I really do just love Mara, I think she's such a great main character because she's so realistic. The fact that there is still awkwardness between James and Mara actually makes the story seem so real :) Because they're hardly going to be best friends still if they had a baby together...
Ooh, but I hate Sophie, I really do. I got to admit though, I was a little excited at having Jack have his hair dyed blue ;)
10/10 Effy xx Report Review
Oh, yay, a chapter I haven't read! I was so excited when I saw this :D
Anyway, it was another brilliant chapter! I ADORE JAMES. I love the fact that he was practically dancing with joy when Lily was just crying on the floor.
Aw, bless :)
And congrats on winning a Dobby! You totally deserved it!
10/10 Effy x Report Review
I'm sure I let out a very loud gasp when I noticed this story and been updated. You have honestly no idea how excited I was :)
Anyway, moving on, I'm going to tell you again how much I adore this story. Hope is such a brilliant main character - she's funny and sarcastic and I think one of the most realistic fanfic characters I've read about.
And I really do love how Sirius is so blase about the whole thing, though I admit, I do slightly dislike him at the moment. It's a brilliant twist though.
And JAMES, AHHH! Just when I thought I knew what was going to happen, BAM. He and Hope were kissing.
EEE, update soon! I'm so excited for the next chapter!! 10/10
Effy xxx Report Review
Ah! James nearly kissed Mara! WOO! And even though Mara stopped just in time, I still think it's a little victory for her to add on her scoreboard :)
Aww, I love James. Bless him, he's so confused.
Anyway, that was an amazing chapter! I was hooked right till the end and now I'm going to be on the edge of my seat till the next one :D
Update soon! 10/10 xx Report Review
Ooh, only the first chapter and I'm already hooked! The story so far sounds great and I'm interested in seeing what her sister is like now and how the main character is going to tell her story.
Eee, update soon! Looking forward to the next chapter :) xx
10/10Author's Response: I hope you continue to like this. :D Don't worry, the next chapter is coming soon.
emerald_moons Report Review
Sque! I LOVED IT! It was brilliant (as per usual)
Though I do feel a little like 'GAH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?' either to James or Mara or Bitch Sophie I'm not sure. Because why is James wanting custody, silly boy. He should just ditch Sophie and run off into the sunset with Mara :)
I honestly do love this story though :)
10/10 xx Report Review
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