Hi! NimJ from the forum, come to review :)
That was so cute! At first I thought Remus was wallowing in his grief, but he really tries, and the end was very very touching. Teddy wanting to know about his mom and being afraid that his dad didn't love him. Teddy's just cute :P
Plus, nice twist that it was her birthday, I thought that it was the battle of hogwarts or something, and that they would celebrate voldemorts death then. It makes sense though, Remus being sad on her birthday.
I loved it!Author's Response: Thankyou for the lovely review!
Remus was just upset by Tonk's death which is what touched me so much whilst writing it!
I thought if it was the anniversary of the battle of hogwarts it would be a little too obvious so I'm glad you liked the twist :D Report Review
This is so sweet! I can see it happening just this way, with the shouting chesspieces and all :)Author's Response: I'm glad that you liked my story! I actually re-read Philosopher's Stone, watched the movie, and went on the Lexicon and the Wiki to double-check my Wizard's Chess facts. Thanks for reviewing! :) Report Review
Cool twist! He's sweet, saying that other people need his help more. I liked that Glen was telling Hugo how to defend himself, he seems like he only cares about making as much trouble as possible.
Very nice chapter! I'm very curious about the mouse :)
I'm going on holiday for a week tomorrow, but I'll continue reviewing after that.Author's Response: Enjoy your holiday, and I hope that you are enjoying the story! Glen is an interesting piece of work, keep an eye on him! Report Review
Hi! NimJ again :)
Awh, he's so awkward. Hope the girl gets him out of that not talking thing. He tries so hard.
It was a lovely chapter, I like how Connie is the quintessential nice girl, at least to Hugo. And I'm relieved Ron does at least seem to try, it makes him less of a prat, and I've always rather liked Ron :)
Nice Belle and the Beast reference!Author's Response: Ron really is trying to be the best father he can; he has the best of intentions even though things don't always turn out the best. He really isn't a prat, I promise. Yes, Hugo can be quite awkward, but he'll grow throughout the story! Thanks for everything! Report Review
NimJ from the forums, with finally your review!
Oh, that was so well written.
I really felt for the poor thing, you made me live the events with him. He sounds so down, I'd just love to cheer him up and make it all better :)
Characterization, grammar, flow, all is perfect!Author's Response: Well, thank you so much for the compliments! Yes, Hugo can be a bit pathetic at times, but he'll grow and change throughout the story (hopefully!) and things will get better! Thanks for the review! Report Review
Wow! Rose and Scorpius, I love it. That kiss under the mistletoe was very hot, beautifully written. And Rose trying to make peace with Scorpius and him finally mourning his daughter was very touching.
Bill... that was very sad, poor Louis and Victoire, poor family.
I'm wondering, why did Scorpius keep Gabriella/Dominique secret, even when it was clearly relevant to the case?
I enjoyed the story very much, well written!Author's Response: Yes, I love Scorose :D And the kiss was hot? Hot??? LOL.
And I didn't want to kill Bill, but I had to. It just had to happen.
Well, Scorpius didn't want to tell anyone about Gabby/Dominique because he didn't think she was a suspect in the case, and he didn't want to talk about Dominique's infidelity at any point, since that would be dishonouring the dead, etc.
Thanks for reviewing and I'm very glad you enjoyed it.
~Soraya~ Report Review
Here it goes again!
The interrogation with veritaserum was brilliant, I liked Bills reaction, he's part werewolf after all, it's sad how affected by tragic his family has become though. Nice twist about Gabriella Zabini and her father, figures all the Slytherins would be involved with this.
So what I'm thinking now: Blaise faked his death, after murdering his wife, to play murderer, or help Pansy's daughter to be that. Because you're right, doctor writing is mostly illegible. (I'd know, my dad is a doctor.) She's now going to help framing Rose with the psych review.
Well done on the twists and turns, you keep the story interesting!Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm glad you liked Bill's reaction -- and Gabby's giving me a lot of grief, to be honest, so it's good to know that you liked that twist.
It's interesting to read your theories after you've already finished reading the entire story. LOL. Thanks for reviewing again :)
~Soraya~ Report Review
Ooh, intrigue, Rose doesn't want anyone to know her secrets, they must be bad. And why doesn't she remember what she did? I'm assuming she doesn't remember, because she must be in a bad place if she doesn't want to tell.
You described everyone's reaction to the deaths well. I was sligthly dissapointed at Scorpius reaction, until he went of about wanting to investigate. It was moving how Ron dreaded telling his parents, and the bit about it being Rose's wand was very good, with Harry's protective side coming out.
Grammar and flow was good, the only thing I see is that you keep missing spaces after you put a word in italics.
Loved it again!Author's Response: I can't answer any of your questions re the plot, but they will be answered if you read on! (I hope you do.)
I'm glad you thought their reactions were plausible -- Scorpius, in particular, is more badly hurt than you might think, shall I say.
I'm sorry for missing out those spaces! If I remember, I will try and correct those, but since RL has been such a b!tch lately, I'm not sure I'll be able to. Sorry about that. Thanks for reviewing!
~Soraya~ Report Review
NimJ from the forum with your review.
I've never really read mystery before but this first chapter is promising. It gives you the feel that while you as a reader don't know what's going on, the writer has thought everything out very well.
The moment Scorpius thought stepfather about the other guy I thought, he couldn't be... and then you confirmed he was the father. Which tied in nicely with his concern for Dominique, or was that concern more for his daughter?
The bit about respecting everyone but not associating with them was so Draco :)
I find the blood rose on the backs on the victims kinda morbid but very poetic.
Grammar and punctuation wise I don't see any big mistakes, and the story reads fluently.Author's Response: Hi there! I'm glad you liked it. This is my first ever mystery, written in a rush for a challenge, so I'm really happy it's been so well-received on here.
Scorpius, while being moderately concerned for Dominique, is far, far more worried about his daughter, purely because Dominique and him had a one-night stand which resulted in the birth of Ophelie, so Scorpius and Dominique don't really... love each other, shall we say.
I'm glad you thought the Draco bit was good -- I've never written him before, so it's great that he seems in character :) And you thought it was poetic? Hehe. Thanks. By the way, I have had three betas for this story, which is the reason there aren't any glaring punctuation/spelling errors. Thanks for reviewing.
~Soraya~ Report Review
Wow, I don't know what to say.
You write excitingly well!
You had me kinda turned on... :PAuthor's Response: Haha, thanks :) Report Review
Ooooh, inticing, bit of a different take on the Scorpius/Rose affair.
You write well :)
Is John Barrowman that British tv dude from doctor Who or am I horribly wrong? If it is, he's cute :PAuthor's Response: Thank you! I am glad you think so!
And he is from Doctor Who yes, but he's not the Doctor and he's only from a couple of episodes - he's mainly in the spin-off series, Torchwood. And he is gorgeous ♥ But, unfortunately, gay. But I still love him :D Report Review
Very beautiful! :) You write well. Report Review
This is good! I like the elaboration of the story. I thought the ending a bit abrupt when you made the jump from the previous chapter to immediately (now) chapter 16 as a finale.
Love your plot! Congrats on finishing :)Author's Response: Thank you for your review! I had always planned this story to be 16 chapters, so to me it was not abrupt, lol. :)
I am happy I have finished it as well, I have never written anything before I started this so it is an encouragement to hear kind words about my new-found hobby. :) Report Review
I love the story and enjoy your writing very much.
You capture the fiery side of both Ginny and Hermoine very well.
The scene with Molly and Arthur made me smile :)
Keep going!Author's Response: Not looking at quiting anytime soon. I promise. Thanks so much, really glad you are enjoying. Report Review
"Strangely, neither do I," Snape muttered.
Brilliant, just brilliant :D Report Review
Nice story :D
The ending is very sweet and you though of some very good different perspectives to the troll story, I've always liked that particular line about somethings you can't do together without becoming friends.Author's Response: Yeah it's a great line. Thanks for reviewing, glad you liked it! :) Report Review
Oh my god, you're good at tension building let's just say that :P
You know I had a hunch the father would be Draco, what with the forbidden love and the silvery eyes so like her fathers' :D
I'll just go on reading then :PAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for your kind review, I hope you continue to enjoy the story! There will be more to follow shortly. :) Report Review
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