Fun fact: this story was created on my birthday. And if that didn't give you enough clues (do you know my hpff name? I forget) this is Embear, of the dropbear variety.
Before I get to gushing, there's a typo. "disparaging town" -- as much as I would love to see a disparaging town, I don't think that's what you meant. XD
And oh! captain's a bloke's job. Oh, Laura, the only reason I am oddly glad to hear that is because I know Helen Sykes is a brilliant woman who proves everyone wrong. Hell, all the women in this story are brilliant and strong and wonderful and I want to just send this story (well, my word doc of it) to The World and show them 'this is how you write female characters, sirs'. SO MUCH LOVE.
And of course the Mrs. Norris painted blue thing ever fails to amuse me.
Golly, you know how much I adore this story, Laura -- I want to see more of it up here! It's so brilliant and HELEN is brilliant and everything is flawless. And I can't even coherently review it, as you probably already knew. So much love. Report Review
Eep! It's a Gubby story! I'm here reviewing completed things because WIPs kill me. XD I like this beginning ;D especially the chapter titles. The bedroom scene at 3am was brill and I feel like I've got a decent idea of the characters, though there's plenty to build on. And okay, so Piper has bright red hair and freckles in my head. Forgive me.
I eagerly await more fleshing-out in the next chapters! :D Report Review
Personally, I don't describe anything and that's my problem. XD But I don't think you *needed* description here. We know what Harry and Ron and Hermione look like. We know what Gryffindor Tower looks like. An aside about how...I dunno, how pretty the moon is would have just felt out of place. I love this just as it is.
I don't usually read Trio -- or Hogwarts era, for that matter -- but the summary sucked me in and also because it was short. XD And I liked it! I think it was all very in character and I can see it happening. The emptiness they must have felt after it was over is perfectly shown here -- they're so lost now that it's over that they go back to their tent and just pretend, just for a night, that it's them and the countryside and they still have a purpose. They're lost, now, especially Harry, but Ron doesn't want to face the fact that Fred is dead and Hermione doesn't want to think about what she's done during the war. Hermione, when you think about it, did some horrific things, so I think it makes sense that all three of them would want to get away, just for a night.
Ack, that got away from me. Regardless! I liked this a lot. Simple, short but fantastic.Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review! I'm happy to hear that I managed to get you to read this even though you don't usually read Trio fics (I usually don't read or write them either ;) ).
I'm so glad that you like this one-shot. It was a spontaneous idea when I was wondering about how Harry would feel in the days after the battle and then I came up with this. And now you've inspired me even further with your comment about Hermione - maybe I'll write another one-shot about her.
Thank you! :) Report Review
Not going to lie -- got a bit confused with who exactly was dead (and who exactly Scorp was snogging -- I knew he was gay, but...anywho) but your helpful reply to a previous review cleared that all up. Fantastic story! Short and sweet and delicious. That said, 'Fella's' in the 6th last line shouldn't be capitalised and there shouldn't be an apostrophe. Apart from that, it's flawless and wonderful. :DAuthor's Response: Aww. thank you so much for this review. I'm sorry you found it to be confusing, but the style sort of lends itself towards vagueness. I'm glad you enjoyed this and took the time to review it!!
-hugs~ Report Review
Brilliance! I like that this was unrequited, but it wasn't all angsty and mopey and sad. It was refreshing. Lia was hilariously obnoxious, the nicknames were spew-worthy and your Scorpius is hilarious. A+++, of course. Report Review
This is the first Albus/Scorpius I've read (it was mentioned somwhere, and I went hunting) and I liked it very, very much. It's short, so I've made up my own context (which is fantastic, because I love doing that) but even without official stuff it's interesting to see what we can assume. Scorpius is a Slytherin and he's not often 'human', which fits in with the whole haughty-pureblood-better-than-you idea. Gah, it's wonderful.
The relationship was so...perfect, too. It wasn't mad snogging and clothes ripping and saccharine declarations of undying love; it was little touches and the proof that Al cares so much about Scorpius even when he's ill. And I'm rambling and making no sense so I'm going to leave it there. Regardless, this was brilliant and wonderful and I loved it a lot. Report Review
'Your telescope is a fine specimen' is a line I must try on my boyfriend if I ever see him fiddling with a telescope. In fact, it's a line I must try on anyone who happens to have a telescope on hand. It's fantastic. XD And Dom/Scorpius! My bets are that Dom's fibbing and there's something going on there. Poor Clem, everyone's out to get her -- i think it's unhealthy for me to like her so much when she's clearly not a good person. Meh.
And the Epic Duel of Sexual Tension! Oooer. I love that Al got her with a compliment in the end, too -- it shows delightful things about how she thinks. She was holding her own for most of it, and yet one unexpected mention of how pretty her eyes are...boom.
And now we have Real Proper Plotly Happenings! I mean, not that the rest wasn't plotty, but it was more set-up, yeah? And now we have this epic feud between Al and Clem and it's delicious and I want more of it and eep! Eagerly awaiting the next update, ma'am!Author's Response: Snerk, I'm sure he would appreciate it 8D
Ohohoho, well I do know what happens. You keep going with your conspiracy theories :D Be a Pickett.
I love it when people cheer for the villain. It's like the movie Chicago hee.
Plotty? Really? xD Oh dear, well I suppose it is! I hadn't thought much about plot (but there is one, I think. Maybe. Probably). I'm all, banter and sexual tension and character building! But the suspense shall continue, yes yes!
♥ Report Review
I will say so right now: I did not get any intellectual jokes, but I was sleepy (also, not an intellectual so that may have *something* to do with it). But still, fantastic chapter. I lovelovelove Clem (I can call her Clem, right?) and aaslekthlkh she's perfect. The effortlessness with which she slaughters poor innocent people's reputations is a delight to read.
Also, Albus is hilarious. XD Not Albus, so much as the stuffs he gets into -- the Al/Scorpius debacle, then this (imaginary) girlfriend. Poor bugger. And Hugo! And the Weasley politics. I can see why there emerges a gossip mag as next gen are in Hogwarts -- it's the perfect time for it. Half of the school's related (are there any scandalous incest rumours?) and often at daggers. And the other half is dating those related daggery people and oh, the deliciousness.
The unfortunate thing about this story is that I cannot ramble about it as easily as I can ramble about Capers, which is a terrible shame but it's good for my reading speed, I suppose? Ah well, onwards!Author's Response: Bahaha, it's just tosh about Russians. It makes Gubby happy. Clem can be called Clem! She's not self-conscious about her name, you see. You could call her various non-12+ things too and she'd be completely unfazed.
Omg, I do abuse Albus in whatever story I write, don't I? I actually got really inspired by Annie's view of the next gen kids, where they're all sorts of messed up, except hers is a lot darker and mine kind of turns into crack xD
No incest rumors! That would be non-ToS! But you know, plenty of other things. Maybe Rose is half-Hippogriff or something, scandalous!
I love your ramblings, long or short! ♥ they make my heart fill with glee like a dozen baby pandas. Report Review
Oooh, this is so very different from what I've read of yours before -- the style's different but it's equally brilliant. I love Clemence's voice and I DO NOT THINK IT MEANS WHAT YOU THINK IT MEANS OH BRILLIANT I LOVE YOU.
This is a fantastic beginning to a story. No explosions, alas, (everything's always improved with explosions) but it has everything else needed for brilliance: a firmly-characterised main character, an interesting and original premise and the writing style of a god. Which clearly you are.
I'm really not sure what else to write here -- I should write more, because I can't be leaving shoddy reviews for the challenge, but I just don't know what else to say except "I love it", which I've said several times already. I must say that I would ship Albus/Scorpius in a heartbeat -- do you know of any stories?
Fantastic, brilliant, wonderful, etc., etc. Off to the next chapter!Author's Response: AND I LOVE YOU and Princess Bride.
Ah, the lack of explosions and sugar. That's why I filled it up with snark instead. Must fill it all up with something. blush I AM NO GOD -in Eowyn's voice- My the movie references are abounding.
Baww I think it's a lovely review! My good reviews are like... well I don't have good reviews. I leave incoherent capslock and flail. This made me blush and squee and loffs you forevers.
AL/SCOR I don't know any in particular. I know a not-quite-slash that I have fav'd, but that's about all I went looking for. After Sailing Ship I suppose, you see my love of slightly-too-close bromance.
♥ Report Review
So I'm here to review this because the idea made me giggle and I hope it's not too old for you. :P This is gorgeous, pure, adulterated crack and I LOVE IT. The first step is denial...oh, goodness. And when she decides they're already together! Gosh, how does your brain work? It's so wonderful.
SIRIUS IS MY FAVOURITE. “If I'm going to be fantasized about, I’d rather get the facts straight.” Oh, perfection. I love him. And you. XD And god, this love polygon of awesome that's only half-true. I want to marry this fic.
FURRIES. OH GOD.
Basically, I cannot form coherent thought about this fic because I'm too busy giggling insanely. It is perfect and a new favourite of mine and lasdfhalsiehtlih brilliance. Junebug is a goddess and oh, I'll just be imagining a world where this actually goes down.Author's Response: HIII again~
I have a soft spot for this fic. The idea is just too -gigglesnort-. My mind, I worry about it and how it can spawn things like this, my parody fic and that one plunny I gave to Kate involving Tom Riddle as the lead singer in a brainwashing boy band.
FURRIES. DEAR LAWD.
Sirius/Remus is my total bromance otp. I swear, the closeness of the Marauders had to have raised some eyebrows and slash fangirls in Hogwarts, no? 8D
♥ Report Review
It's when Bea's inventing that we see what she's really like -- she's so hyper and ditzy most of the time that people probably underestimate her; but when she's inventing and she knows what she's doing, she's intelligent and focused and she knows more than you do, even if she was exploding something five minutes ago. I love this side of Bea; it's a change from what she usually presents but it's not unbelievable. It works.
I adore the Feminine Foot Soles. They are ingenious! Perfect! Wonderful! I wonder if the Marauders thought of them. Probably not. I could argue that the staircase probably goes on more than shoes, but pssh, as if.
OH OH OH I HAVE SOME POSSIBLE CONCRIT. Perhaps watch your Americanisms? They aren't too obvious (but please, don't make the mistake of calling someone's fringe their 'bangs'), but I'm not sure I've ever come across 'hotcakes' except at Maccas (and okay, it's been a decade since I've lived in the UK and I live in Australia now, but...but still). Otherwise, still flawless.
Also, again before I forget, I do like how you made Bea find it hard to stick with one project for long in Chapter One -- it's a significant marker of ADHD and (regardless of whether you did that on purpose or not) it made me feel all fuzzy to see it there. Bea isn't just some sort of hyped-up uncontrollable sugar fiend, but (to me) she fits the bill for ADHD quite well. And perhaps I'm imagining it, but I've got to look for characters with disabilities where I can find them, as they are so few and far between. So thank you.
While you're preparing Fred's funeral, I'll be over here mourning Bea and Fred's friendship -- there wasn't even a fight for it, but I understand why. As she said, next year there would be no Fred and it was bound to happen. Poor darlings. I do hope Fred understands before long.
Gah, I love Albus. Naive, but not in an annoying way -- and he really does mean well, no matter what he does. I want to cuddle him forever.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME FREDDIE? You're making me sad. This is a humour story! But your 'tiredness' and you and Bea and oh, I hope you sort this out. Re: your author's note, I love how you write Fred and Scorpius -- they're both very believable, complex and brilliant (and I'm slowly coming around with Scorpius). Brilliant chapter, my dear!Author's Response: I'm glad it works; I have a huge problem balancing the serious and the crack-humor, what with its mood-whiplash and whatnot xD
Maybe the Feet Soles convert the lingering testosterone into estrogen and -- let's just call it magic. IT WORKS BY MAGIC! :D
I shall definitely try to look out for my Americanisms. Helena poked at my usage of 'band-aid'. Capers is considerably less British than my other WIPs, in that I can't imagine most of the characters in a British accent, which I could in Game.
I definitely did not intend the ADHD, but I shall take the credit for it anyway! :D Haha I think I just tried to make sure her hyper attention span is not just a throwaway trait, but really does affect her personal life and inventing.
Fred and Bea are bury-ers. Problem? Bury it. It gets a brief mention in the next chapter. Although eventually the mountain of dirt gets too big...
That you adore Freddie ♥ I LOVE YOUUU. Report Review
Oh, Freddy. Freddy, Freddy, Freddy. You're not supposed to fall for the Slytherin. That's betrayal! Don't let her legs or her eyelashes or her ridiculous good looks distract you! No! No.
Poor thing. Perhaps we should prepare his funeral? We are gathered here today to remember dear Fred, who was sadly snatched from us in the prime of life by a leggy, beautiful Slytherin...
Aha! A Squib! You hardly ever see Squibs. Changs and Squibs and old men as professors who are constantly scarred by all the bright young things canoodling. I LOVE THIS STORY HAVE I MENTIONED?!
Gah, give me a moment to bask in the squibby gloriousness.
Does That Weasley Rellie That Never Actually Turned Up In Canon get a mention? Because, you know, I'm sure Weasleys have had/been in love with Squibs before and there could be ~scandal as Rose discovers this or something. /Emma has a wild imagination.
Also, before my ADHD mind forgets, I will write that slytherin-first-year story and credit you with the inspiration and show you when I'm done, yeah? ;D
Also, this rift between Fred and Bea is making me sad. I mean, not really, because I'm really hyped up at the moment on your joy (despite almost falling asleep half an hour ago) and well but still they belong together, like Watson and Sherlock (as Scorpius so wonderfully compared them to) and ah well. We'll blame it on the slimy git of a Slytherin. I eagerly await reading chapter seven (I may not review until tomorrow, sorry) and e you're writing chapter eight and hooray!Author's Response: Oh Freddy, he's only male. unfortunately. Prepping the wake as I type.
It's a party of old men and squibs and girls who reject Potters!
THERE'S A RELLIE? -Looks up and still does not know-
YOU MAYYY. I cannot wait :3
OH YAY. MY JOY IS YOUR JOY :DD I'm also really happy right now because my fav fic updated. You stayed up for me ♥. Chapter seven is still semi-a-mess but I'm doing what I can. MOOD WHIPLASH it's my downfall.
WRITINGGG~ Report Review
HER PATRONUS IS A GOAT. Oh, why does this fit so well? I love it. Now I'll just be off imagining a little billy goat following Bea around (yes, I know that's not how it works, but...). Is that a Disney reference and then a Princess Bride reference I spy? Delightful!
"Ah my eyes!" FAVOURITE PROFESSOR EVER. Oh, blimey, I've got into capslock mode. Apologies. It only goes downhill from here...
I did love this chapter, despite it being filler. We had more adorable Albus, we had Bea being awesome, and you made me start doubting the inherent evilness of Scorpius, which is an achievement. (Bea, don't trust him!) Also, it has just occurred to me that you make the chapter images, which makes my comment a few chapters ago rather foolish. They're very, very lovely.Author's Response: IT IS. There was one day where I just tried to figure out their patronuses, and goat was just too perfect. Stubborn and eats everything :D
CAPSLOCKS IS BRILL. I LOVE CAPS. If you see most of the reviews I leave, it is more caps than not.
Inherent evilness -ponder and strokes beard- I kind of see Scorpius dancing around like a satyr now xD
hee thankss~ I do make the images! :D They are an indication of my love of purple/magenta/goldenrod
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Ah. The sidekick. It all comes out. The slight desperation my spidey-senses imagined at the end of the last chapter. The obsession with James. Fred doesn't feel like he's good enough. Oh, the poor darling. I want to give him a hug. (And then shake some sense into him -- listen to Bea, just.do what she says, yeah?)
In my little personal headcanon, Bea is now mountainsexual (don't go to Urban Dictionary, please -- that's not what I mean at ALL). My definition of mountainsexual as made up by someone one the internet is someone who has such an all-consuming interest in something (e.g. mountain climbing, exploding things) that they just don't fancy anyone because either a) it never occurs to them or b) because their hobby is so much more *interesting*, anyway.
Scorpius and Anj are truly sickening. Ugh. That's good, though, because they're meant to be. But blimey, you just want to thwack them over the head or something. This chapter was brilliant, as always, and Albus is a darling. The singing was especially amusing, and golly, I wish I had your imagination. Brilliant!Author's Response: Oooh your spidey senses detected? I am glad! Fred's a character I'm learning to write still. I'm trying to reconcile various characterizations I have for him -- sometimes I wonder if I'm being well-rounded with my characters or just schizophrenic xD
Listening to Bea will get you mixed results. Example 1: Albus.
BAHAHA, mountainsexual. Bea/Biscuit is the ship, mmmhmm. Ultimate ship right there. But that does very much describe Bea :D She's not a very emotional person at all -- kind of just works off of what she wants and needs at the moment -- so she devotes that sort of energy to her work. And digesting.
Bahaha, they are slimy aren't they ;D Strangely enough, most people are rather charmed by Scorpius anyway. Must be the Malfoy genes (I mean, everyone loves Draco even though he's kiiind of a murderer.)
♥ you are too kind ^__^ Report Review
The idea that first years would come out gasping for food and water in the dead of the night makes me want to write a one-shot about just that happening and the over-active imagination of a poor eleven-year-old Slytherin. May I? I'm not sure if it'll get done, but I would dearly love to write it. It's been so long since I've written anything.
"I fed you." Oh oh oh oh oh oh. Can I just marry this story? Please? Bea is my favourite and the fact that she can simultaneously be distracted by biscuits and use big words to explain her distrust of corporations is just so wonderful. I'm not sure I have proper words to describe how much I love this story any more, and I'm only three chapters in. How could you do this? I've been trying to find something to concrit so this isn't just a massive gush sessions, but I can't. There was like...one apostrophe missing in one of the previous chapters or something. It's flawless.
But intrigue, what with Scorpius's words to Fred about the money. Underneath the brilliant humour, the biscuits and the explosions, some serious considerations! Not that I don't like the humour, the biscuits or the explosions (because I do) but I also love the serious bits. Eek. Onwards!Author's Response: Omgah I wish you could see how much I am flailing all over your reviews. Btw, I'm writing chapter 8 right now xD I'm terribly late with it. -again-
YOU SHOULD. I have lots of imaginary stories about Hogwarts that pops up from Capers. Like how the first Hogwarts flash mob started (although that might still happen in Capers).
Bea is such a hidden BAMF :D It actually began that she was a blatant awesome-girl, but I was like, 'That's no fun. Let's make her completely sugar-wacked-out.'
Baww, I would love some concrit! The first chapters are fairly edited and I'm quite pleased with them, but I struggle as it goes on. It's a little easier again for the chapter I'm writing now, but mixing humor and angst is a hefty plate of frustration D:
...-searches for apostrophe-
I have so much plot :D The eternal struggle between humor and plot... and angst and characters and blarrrgh.
♥ Report Review
Firstly: I know this has nothing to do with you, but blimey, what a chapter image.
Also, 'your shameless baby-making' is, for some reason, one of the funniest things I've ever read. Oh, so much love for this professor. I also really like this shadow that James casts over Fred, particularly -- Anj expects him to be good just because he was James's 'wingman' and Fred always seems to be thinking about James -- James and professors this, James and should be better that...it's really interesting. It's as if James has become the new Harry -- a larger-than-life figure that people can't quite live up to and golly, I love it to bits.
But yes, I did adore this chapter -- from finding quills in the loo to snogging, it was all absolutely perfect.Author's Response: Aw thanks :D I hate making chapter images, but occasionally, it happens.
Ringleward is one of my fav creations. Doddering old men need to show up more in fic, I swear, trying to get kids off their lawns.
It was really odd how James ended up in this story, because I never intended for him to be so prominent. I wanted him to be like the first James Potter, who definitely left his mark, and it simply ended up that this James II affects so much as well. He may even show up later :D
-stalkering your reviews- Report Review
A really delightful beginning! It was creative (I hadn't heard of those potion ingredients doing that before), it established firm characterisation AND there were explosions. What more does a chapter need? I'm very excited to read the next chapters -- so few people write about Cho Chang, let alone anyone related to her. She seems to be terribly unpopular with fandom, which is sad.
I also loved the subtlety with which you gave clues about when it was set, what people were like, how the legacies of the books have lived on -- the comment about the map and Beatrix's comment that Fred used to be more fun makes me think that this is a year after James has left, and if I could be bothered to do some maths that would mean that I could figure out when it was set. Which is lovely. I enjoy knowing those sorts of things, even if they're not strictly relevant.
Gosh, I'm just rambling now. Point is, I loved it a lot and I'm going to stop typing so I can read the next chapter.Author's Response: HELLO! I think this is a delightful review :D Any review that uses 'delightful' is rather delightful.
Explosions and biscuits and characterizations! I suppose this chapter is missing shirtless men, alas. I recall there being something about how fandom is horrible to Cho Chang and that was pretty much the only reason why Bea ended up a Chang. That and I wanted her to have a rice cooker ;D
I try to be schneaky with my details. I end up weaseling a bunch in during edits as the story gets longer. It makes me look like I planned it all along to new readers :D Bahaha. I love knowing the details about time especially (Appearance, I'm a little lazy with. But time, you'll see me throwing around weeks and days and evenings and whatnot).
♥ Report Review
Ali! 'Tis Emma here. I'm as bad at reviewing as you say you are, so here goes. :P I did love the beginning of this - I've been distracted by a slightly dodgy marauder story I had read half of about two years ago and went back to, so...
This was a delightful start, quite different from all those Marauder era stories that stopped me writing Marauder era. XD No one was disgustingly OOC, Lily had faults (gasps!) and she wasn't the goddess of studying.
Also, James/Lily interaction was actually like normal human beings. For this, I love you. Especially that she let him go and he didn't try to get her to marry him or advance on her whatsoever.
So yes, this was a stunning intro to the story, and particularly Lily's character. Delightfully unperfect, and definitely a winning writing style - light, perfect description and dialogue, and it's leaving me itching to read more of it. Which I shall do presently.
- emma xxAuthor's Response: Thanks very much Emma! I'm trying to make this story different from the majority of the others out there, but without going against canon. Hopefully I can get the balance right. Thanks again! Report Review
Hi there! 'Tis Emma from TGS, for the review exchange. :D
This was lovely! As a rule I say no slash - but this was just beautiful. The development of their relationship was shown wonderfully, even if we never got the whole picture, just snippets and hints. Cedric's wake is a lovely setting to put this in...it shows time has passed and there's a sort of sense of finality about it, if you know what I mean? His death isn't the end, his funeral not quite...but the wake's the last thing dedicated to his memory. It's sort of the last chance Oliver would have, if you know what I mean?
The recurring line throughout I think was a nice way to tie everything together, especially that last line. They were just acquaintances, despite all that had gone between them, because of society and what was accepted. It makes me sad, and I almost want to ship Oliver/Cedric now. XD The idea seems to make so much SENSE, the way you've written it.
The picture of Cedric's parents mourning, crying over his body while Oliver watched was definitely one that sort of summed up the whole thing - others were free to cry, but he couldn't take part because he didn't think he really had a right to. And Cho saying that she knew, at the end, and that sealing the deal that he couldn't...though I don't understand how Cho would know - why would Cedric mention that he loved another man to his girlfriend? Just, you know, out of interest.
And just a few more things - while I love the style this is written in, the tense changes are a bit strange. I think the overall gist of it is in present tense? Because there are quite a few switches to past, and it comes in the middle of paragraphs, just random sentences that don't quite make sense. I know from experience that writing present tense if you're used to past is hard and you keep accidentally switching (and then when you've gotten used to present and you attempt past it's exactly the same), but i'd suggest you go back and look over them to just make things a bit clearer. Also, there were a few typos, but that doesn't really matter, they were nothing massive.
It was a wonderful oneshot, my dear, and yours is quite possibly one of the only slash stories I've really, really enjoyed. RonsGirlFriday's Minerva/Myrtle was the other one, but that's not the point. Cookie for you!
- emma xxAuthor's Response: Hey Emma!
Thank you so much for this review. I was so nervous writing this fic, since, like you, I usually have a no slash rule. The praise for it is very humbling.
I was actually assigned Oliver and Cedric as a pairing in a challenge. I fell in love with them while I was writing this...
I chose to have Cedric tell Cho about Oliver because of my ideals of a relationship. I think they should always be honest and I wanted to instill this on both relationships in this fic.
I'm read Melanie's Myrtle too! It was really good.
Thank you so much for this review. Really made my day. :)
Melissa Report Review
Hello! I'm here because Magravine organised reviews for awesometastical reviewers, and I was really supposed to do this about two weeks ago. Terribly sorry for that! But I'm here now. :D This story actually caught my eye back when it was first published - or was it the banner in the crit section of TDA? I...can't remember. It seemed quite familiar, anyway, so I decided to read this.
And I'm so glad I did! This was absolutely adorable. I love reading about little children (though I don't actually like the real ones...hmm...), and this was perfect. The idea of Teddy being disgusted (especially when she licked her lips) was just hilarious, and how he respected his uncle for kissing his aunt TWICE. I mean, that takes some pretty manly courage. You got all the characterisations spot on, and I could hear it all in my head perfectly.
I don't read much on HPFF but this makes me think I should - I never would have bothered reading it simply because I didn't know how you were as an author (needless to say, I think you're pretty much the best thing since the zoombinis). It was an adorable oneshot, and I plan on reading some of your other work soon. :D The whole idea was so sweet, and the way it was carried out was absolute perfection.
Hugs, heart emotes and a cookie for you!
- emma xxAuthor's Response: I wasn't aware of anything that Magravine had organised and I'm a bit confused as to what it IS that she actually organised, haha... but, hey, I'll take a review! Especially a lovely one like this..
I'm not sure if the banner for this was in the critique section of TDA - my sole purpose on that website is to oggle pretty pictures and shamelessly ask people to make me shiny stuff. Glad that the banner caught your eye! I've always wondered how much a banner really does for a story. This one is exceptionally cute, though. All credit goes to black bird, however!
You don't like children that much? I can certainly understand. But I absolutely adore them. Spend some more time with little children and try and see the way they view the world and you might be surprised. Some of the things are just so insightful and clever. They can really leave you astounded at times. So much can be learnt from them. And then, of course, there are the things they say and do that leave you staring after them, trying to understand what planet they come from.
I loved adding in the little things in this! Like how five-year-old Teddy is a man. And the licking of the lips. It's nice that they were so well appreciated!
I hope that you do read more HPFF! There is some ridiculously good writing on this archive, you just have to dig around to find it. I'm glad that I can somehow help you along the way to what I can assure you will be a very addictive journey into the land of HPFF. Ha.
This is a departure from the other things I have posted on the archive so I hope you don't expect a series of one-shots about small children. I would love to do that but, sadly, my other two fics are much more emotionally charged than this. Sigh. I miss the innocence of children. Perhaps that is why I wrote this. Who knows!
Thank you for your review, and I got a cookie in the process! You're awesome.
Joop :] Report Review
I simply don't have any words for this - it's utterly perfect. There's another oneshot around, called 'Alice', I believe, that's a little bit like this - it looks into the mind of Alice Longbottom, and it has that whole 'six, five, seven, sixteen' business going on.
This was really done perfectly - I don't know how anyone could find fault in it. It definitely it stream-of-consciousness, and it shows the way her mind works wonderfully. It's something that doesn't make sense but makes sense in a wonderful way all the same. It's gorgeous.
I'm trying to find fault in this so I can say I reviewed it on TGS but I simply can't. Although I do wish the ending could be a little bit clearer, but then again, it might spoil it. I assume the presence of speech marks means she spoke in the real world? And Not-Teddy is the teddy that comes to visit her in her bed, and she spoke to him? But if that's not what it is - not even close - them perhaps that might need a little bit of clarifying or maybe I just need a thwack on the head. Either one.
The flow is wonderful - choppy, yes, but it works because that's the sort of story it is. The description and the muddlement and the way it switches from past and present and second and first and third and it is all just simply amazing in its messed-upness. Did you write this during a timed examination? Because for me this would have taken simply AGES to get right. But perhaps it wouldn't? I don't know. This is just such a wonderful piece of writing that I'm not sure I know anything any more.
The relationship between Sara and Teddy is perfectly clear, and I do like how it all plays out. I do wonder why Mrs. Potter was holding a birthday party for her, though, as she is an OC and the relationship between Sara and the clan isn't touched upon. But really, that's not a problem because there's absolutely nothing to be done about this and it's absolutely gorgeous and wonderful and amazing and stunning just the way it is.
- emma xxAuthor's Response: Wow, thank you so much for leaving such a long and lovely review!
I'll be sure to have a look at that one. I assume it's about Alice Longbottom?
Yeah, she did speak to Teddy in the real world. She refers to him as Not-Teddy because he's older, and while she sees it's the same person she doesn't really recognise him. In her mind, she's sixteen and he's sixteen, and a 30-something Teddy at her bedside doesn't really compute.
The choppiness was intentional, because it would be the only way to get across Sara's thoughts. I did write it on a timed exam, yes - six hours. I'm astonished at myself, to be quite honest, cause most of my creative writing exam papers are terrible due to the time constraint. :P
I'd like to thank you for commenting on that, because now I really want to get into her relationship with the Weasleys. I have a few ideas milling about, but we'll see if any of them bear fruit :P
Thank you so much for taking the time to read it and to write this up! :D
-Katie Report Review
This was all sorts of hilarious - "I'm going to breed flying monkeys and go into politics." Just... Just...
I love Wicked, and this was brilliant. Elphaba was characterised quite soundly (I assume you're taking more from the musical than the book, given the book is terribly dark), and of course Galinda is Sirius's girlfriend. Who else would she be?! Slughorn's reaction was priceless, and it's terribly fitting that she's in Slytherin. Though I did always take the view that she was really evil, per se... but that's something for another time.
emma xx Report Review
Jo's reviews sums up my reaction beautifully. I can't form coherent sentences about this. I saw the banner and thought it was one of the prettiest things I'd ever seen, then saw the lyrics and put the song on (lovely song, too) and then I read and I'm blown away. This was so beautiful and bittersweet, and I love pieces with no dialogue. The style is wonderful. The way it all tied in to canon was ingenius, and while there could have been more depth to Charity and some other things, that would ruin the style, I know. I've written like this before.
I adored this, in case you haven't figured that already. It was clear enough that I always worked out what was going on, but it didn't take readers for idiots - not much was stated straight, but there were enough clues. I find it interesting that you think the Dementors actually rob you of your memories, not just your happiness associated with them, though I don't completely agree. It's an intriguing concept.
Anywho, I'm supposed to be doing more useful things (like all my homework) so I shall have to leave this review here.
Gorgeous, gorgeous work, and 10/10.
xx emma Report Review
Min not being able to stand their pity fits in so well with the Professor we knew and loved in the series, and I must applaud you for having her so spot on. :D Also, Gilbert is amazing.
But as he's not actually the sweetheart in this story, I shall resume my crush on Cad. These reviews are an escape from school, so I do hope you don't expect anything helpful in them. XD
'Not everybody gets their happy ending, or there would be no charm in fairytales. It fell to the lot of some to guard and protect, so that others could live.' I LOVED this line. Not only does it sum up Min from what I'm guessing will end up (my hopes are still here, but as he does die, and as she doesn't seem to have any children in the books.), but it's just a beautiful line in itself.
I am so glad Min and Cad are talking, even if it's only that. She grins foolishly! GO KISS HIM, GIRL. The smooth integration of the Basilisk is lovely - I didn't catch on until the spiders were mentioned (Lovegood!) but I had completely forgotten that happened around this time. Mentioning Myrtle, too (though that technically happened in Tom's fifth year, but canon can be tweaked...) was just... I bow down to your amazingness. How do you keep all of this straight? It's so intricate I'd forget everything and get confused.
And then the scene on the Quidditch Pitch! And Cad thinking she wouldn't get the wrong idea and then her... aw. And are the separate dorms going to come into play somehow? It does seem awfully fanony, but I'm sure you have a perfectly good plot twist to justify it. HE KISSED HER on the cheek BUT HE KISSED HER WHE. and she liked it.
The Brethren was... creepy. It makes sense that Riddle would become leader, despite the fact that he was only Sixth Year - we know he could get anything he wanted, by persuasion or force. Slytherin seems terribly dark... wards around beds,creepy underground thingies with magic and icky stuff (apparently I just became stupidly tired) and it's all so fittingly Slytherin.
I loved the whole 'daddy issues' thing Cad goes on about - so inappropriate, but so amusing.
The Blacks are awesome, too - the way Cad described Alphard as a rough draft of Orion is particularly striking.
All in all, I adored this chapter and I'm sorry my reviewing is so erratic. XD
- emma xxAuthor's Response: Emma my darling, I am sorry for how late this response is. This is one of those reviews which almost make me cry/ensure I will never be able to leave fanfiction!
Writing = my escape from mounds of uni work really XD. All aboard the good ship procrastination!
All my stories are depressing. I think I may have to see a therapist rather than become one!
EDITING MY LOVE. I get awfully confused ( case in point: ALPHARD IS NOT ORION'S BROTHER BUT I FORGOT THIS) and the minor bumps get smoothed out that way.
Dorms.. I just wanted to show how exclusive the Brethren are. Hadn't thought past that!! Does work wonderfully with a secret plot twist though!
Cad = makes me laugh. So so bad but I did smirk at the idea of him bringing Freud into casual conversation.
THANKYOU so much for another lovely review my dear! I do appreciate it so very much! Report Review
I'll admit now that I was not as thrilled about the Cad Letters as I normally am because - well, because he appeared on Min's doorstep and we've already discussed how excited I am about this.
Re the Sir Nick review, though, making you happy makes me happy, so there are no imaginary trinkets needed, only responses to my reviews (though, i suppose leaving some for me wouldn't hurt... kidding, love, I'm doing this for my own fun). And I love Ripples. Just saying.
Min is so... adorable isn't the right word, but goodness, I love her to bits. Her cleaning the house and then getting the massive dinner and making everything pretty and doing her hair... It's so real and tragic and why do I always seem to be writing these reviews as procrastination? Anyway, I loved it - she was obviously heavily affected by the situation (is the only reason her father left and they pulled out of society because they were blood traitors?).
AND THEN CAD COMES. I love Cad. I really do. He just appears and then she's all shocked and I swear, these two are my OTP and I'm writing this as I go so excuse me for ridiculous amounts of ramble. Finally, the reason for hating him comes out! First year! Oh, they have problems but I have hope for them yet, you know.
In fact, I'm going to write a happy version of this chapter for my own contentment - I'm going to pause this chapter when Min has her head on his shoulder, at the part where I wasn't sure whether to go 'yay!' or 'ep!' so it came out 'yep!', and the I'll write a happy version where Cad doesn't say anything stupid and they live happily ever after.
AND THEN HE ALL BUT ASKS HER TO MARRY HIM. MINERVA, I'M GONNA-- Homicidal urges towards fictional characters aside, that was a gorgeous chapter. Cad and Min and Cadinerva and Cadmin and them together and aw. And it was all sad and Cad was gorgeous and he loooves her and this review has degenerated into pointless sap and I need to go anyway, so I shall leave it there.
I love youuu.
xx emmaAuthor's Response: My deepest apologies for how LATE this response is, but I honestly had no idea how to respond. HOW CAN I RESPOND TO THIS?
I just can't express how amazing it is to have people get so involved in my story, and to tell me about it. It's incredibly surreal and I can hardly believe it is happening. Sir Nick - did i tell you I dedicated it to you? because I did. And you're on the list of people I mean to review when I get time, so just eagle eye my thread so I don't forget!
Procrastination reviewing is heartily endorsed! I actually had to google OTP to find out what it meant, but that.. just leaves me speechless. You are much too kind dear, I don't .. know what to say!
HAHAHAHA you go ahead lovely, write it all out! I think I made that WAY too fast myself, may have edited it since because lovely as it is it wasn't in the right place in the plot (flip slide of planning ahead is characters develop, but you have to write ALL stages of their development)
I'm very, very touched and humbled you enjoyed so much my dear. Thankyou again! ♥ Report Review
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