Reading Reviews From Member: graylady01
  
36 Reviews Found

Review #1, by graylady01In the Distance of Bravery : 1

9th July 2014:
I absolutely adore this story, and the way you capture your audience. In all honesty, I don't have anything negative to say, except that sometimes the flashbacks can be a little hard to follow. But as I read more, I found them easier to understand and felt it flowed better towards the end. I do have to say, the thing I enjoy the most about your writing is how descriptive it is. Such lines like, 'resting a tired hand against the slippery surface of the window' and 'She leaves me standing in the pink room with my scream still lodged in a silent surrender in my throat' leave me bubbling with jealously. You have such a talent with words. Iím looking forward to learning more about Lucy and her story. Itís a little cryptic at the moment - same with Scorpius. I canít wait to meet the rest of the Weasley/Potter clan. What I wonder the most, is why Lucy left them behind and her past with Teddy? It was a pleasure to read and I will definitely be reading more! Keep up the good work!

House Cup 2014 Review

Cheers,
Rhi

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Review #2, by graylady01Memories: Changes

6th January 2013:
Hey, graylady01 here with your requested review. I am SO sorry. My parents carted me away for New Years without net or even phone reception! Needless to say I wasn't too impressed -.-

This was really good and I enjoyed it throughly. It was the return of all my favourite underdog characters in the books, so how could I not? In my opinion, you have hit the characterisation of George on the head and it was great to see the differences between the twins highlighted. You are really good at righting humour for this story as I find George a laugh and the teasing of Percy fights so well. Angelina surprised me a little bit but I still loved what you did with her.

The story flowed nicely though I sometimes found it hard to read. This is just a personal preference of formatting so please don't feel as though you've done something wrong - you haven't. I found that some of your paragraphs were incredibly short which distracted me at times. Only one or two sentences long. Again, this is only what I like and not me telling you that you have to change your style. I like nice bulky paragraphs of 5-7 sentences :)

But other than that, I really have no other feedback. Keep up the good work!

graylady01

Author's Response: Hello!

Hahaha, thanks for coming with this requested review. I actually didn't think I'd hear from you since your thread was really full but yay for me! :D Hahahah.
Aw, thanks. I had written this story, not just for the underdogs but just because I'm secretly in love with George and I'd wanted to do a story with him. He's so addictive. :3
And for some reason, really tough to write! I'm glad that you were able to follow him though, he and Fred have to be different for me to write either of them properly. And it was so tough. :(
Someone else commented on how I had my Angelina and I think I've just toned down her fierceness alot. I didn't want her to be so fiery when there was no real reason for it yet so, she's a guy's girl and pretty darn easy going. For now, anyway. :)
Ah, my paragraphs! I know what you mean though, I'd meant to go and edit some of them but because of how the story was, I didn't. :p
This is a bad habit of mine, formatting wise and I do it in all of my stories at some point. My apologies. ;)
Thanks for the review though, its means alot and I'll see you on the forums! :D
Much love,
Gabbie


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Review #3, by graylady01An Adventure of His Own: A Warm Welcome

5th January 2013:
This was a beautiful one-shot and I wish that it wasn't, purely because I want to know what happens next. I honestly don't have anything negative to say, so I will tell you all the bits I loved.

I liked how, originally, Argus tried applying for gamekeeper but didn't have the skills needed for it. In true Dumbledore style, he finds something else though it was not the idea that Filch had in mind.

It's nice the see someone give Argus some redeeming qualities as the books and movies do such a good job at making him repulsive. It would not have been easy growing up as a squib as there is such a stigma attached to them. I thought you highlighted this well. Again, he would have been embarrassed to admit his lack of magical ability and it was true to his character when he 'bended' the truth to Irma.

I could keep going with everything that I adore bout this story but we would be here forever. I do hope that you turn this into a short story as I'd love to read more - I enjoyed it that much!

Keep up the good work,
graylady01

Author's Response: Thanks so much for coming by, graylady01 :)

Several people have requested that I make this longer. I don't have plans to do that at the moment, but I won't rule out writing more Argus/Irma in the future. How's that sound?

I'm happy the characterization made sense and you liked the slightly less negative spin I put on Filch. Like you mentioned, the books and films aren't exactly kind to him, and I figured that at one point he would have been a bit less bitter. I was worried that maybe I went too far in trying to make him more likable, but I'm glad you think I did a good job.

Thanks so much for your lovely review!

-Amanda


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Review #4, by graylady01The Society: No Turning Back

4th January 2013:
I'm so confused and yet, in love. I found the amount of detail perfect, from the rain dripping down the window to the slippery door frame she grasped as she pulled herself into the carriage.

I think that by not lingering too long on the physical features on the people made it more intriguing than if you had chosen to do something else. I would encourage to slowly feed more information to your readers though. But only enough to satisfying some of their curiosity as this is something that will get me coming back.

I am very interested to where this story is going to go, and looking forward to seeing how this plot will develop as it seems beautifully intricate and dark. Definitely my type of story!

Keep up the good work,
graylady01

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review! I'm sorry that I didn't get back to you sooner... It's been quite a busy January!

I'm very glad that you enjoyed my use of minimal detail and intrigue... I certainly hope it was enough to keep you interested, but I promise that there will be more description in the coming chapters!

~UnluckyStar57


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Review #5, by graylady01Why?: Snow in December

2nd January 2013:
Hey, graylady01 here with your requested review. I am so sorry for the lateness of this review so I'll jump right in and not waste any more time.

I have never read any fanfictions where Percy is a main as they have never appealed to me. That's why I was genuinely surprised when I found myself instantly drawn in by Penelope's voice. By starting the story with a letter you grabbed my attention and held it - great job.

The only aspect that I think needs attention is the chopping and changing of time. There isn't anything to add to what 'GingerTea' has already said, only that I was sometimes left confused as a reader.

Overall though, this is a fabulous start to what is no doubt, an amazing story.

Keep up the good work,
graylady01

Author's Response: Thanks so much for this review and don't bother about the lateness. After all I'm terribly late in responding to your lovely review.

I wasn't to sure as to whether I should include the letter, I thought that it might distract from the story a little bit so your comment was really welcome to hear.

And thanks for the suggestion, I've had quite a bit of trouble with changing the time. Its definitely something that I'll have to work on.

Thanks again.
Charlie


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Review #6, by graylady01Better Days Than These: Pure blood is pure blood, except when it's not and then it's... not.

2nd January 2013:
Please excuse any spelling errors or mistakes in this review as I'm doing it from my phone as I go.

I review the first chapter is this story before and I must say that I'm thoroughly enjoying it. Despite that Peony is such a Mary-Sue, so many bad things are happening around her and she doesn't even realise. She's so bloody clueless! I love it, so much in fact I would have love to see mor. :)

Keep up the good work.
graylady01

Author's Response: So glad you came back!

If you're having fun with the story and you want to read more, then I must have done something right. It's all about the fun!

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #7, by graylady01Better Days Than These: I'm perfect and I know it... but I'm not snobbish at all, because that would be wrong and not at all perfect.

27th December 2012:
Hey, graylady01 here with your requested review.

This is absolutely brilliant! I have never read anything like this before and was slightly hesitant when you posted in my review thread. Trust me though - I have no regrets. To be honest, I really don't have any criticism for this chapter. Your writing was smooth and had great flow. Draco's line about polishing his broomstick was classic ;) I will definitely be reading on in my spare time.

Keep up the good work,
graylady01

Author's Response: Oh, hey!

Thanks! This story is either an "I love it" or "I hate it" kind of thing. I'm so relieved that you found it tolerable. Thanks so much for the review!!!


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Review #8, by graylady01Moments of Impact: Prologue

27th December 2012:
Hey, graylady01 here with your requested review!

From the get-go I found myself being sucked in by the narrator of this story. Even though you didn't confirm that it was Lupin till the end, I guessed early in the second paragraph. The words, 'I failed to save three of the people I loved the most' were just enough to get my mind thinking about who it was. As a writer I think it is important to subtly introducing characters, feelings and surroundings to your readers (rather than bombarding them with description) and I felt you did this remarkably well.

One thing that I would recommend to watch out for is excessive use of commas. Though not wrong, you put a comma before 'but' (I spotted two?) which isn't needed since the passage is heavy on commas in the first place. I found it mildly distracting as it sometimes took away from the general flow of the chapter. Try splitting the sentence into two or alternatively, rephrase it.

Even though the prologue was short, I found your characterisation of Remus spot-on. This is a man that had this friends (who were like family) ripped from him all at once. I can see him suffering from survivors guilt at not being able to help the people he loved. This fic is honestly the first I've read that I thoroughly agree with the writers representation of Remus, so I tip my hat to you.

Keep up the good work,
graylady01

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Review #9, by graylady01Black Hart: Beginning of the End

16th January 2011:
That was beautiful. I think your hiatus only improved your talent. I must say that exceeded my expectations to be honest. I'm almost crying. The main reason being is that this is the final stretch. It's a path that we all know is doomed, and it's so hard to watch them walk into it unknowingly.

Author's Response: Hey graylady01! Great hearing from you again, thanks so much for the review! I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapter, and I really appreciate the compliment on my writing, it means so much to me! Yes, unfortunately we all know the fate of most of the characters coming up and it is rather difficult to write. If I had it my way they'd all live happily ever after!

Thanks again for the review! I really appreciate it, as always!!


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Review #10, by graylady01Black Hart: Broken

6th May 2010:
Okay, so my heart is breaking for Sirius, poor Darl. But at the same time, I understand Sami's reasoning. The emotional range of this chapter was amazing, extremely realistic (for me anyway).

I also love the bit with Marlene and Remus. Though not essential, it was still good to see them in there.

I'd also like to say that I am looking forward to seeing what is going to happen with this story. It's a new direction, one that isn't often taken. Great Job! You just keep getting better.

Also, don't worry about not being sble to update so quickly. It's great that you do, and I appreciate it greatly. But as avid readers we need to understand you can't always produce something by the 'deadline'. There are a lot of author's out there you can't even manage an update every two months.

So not rotten vegies from me... As I don't have any, nor any reason to throw then at you :)

-GRAY-

Author's Response: Hey Gray thanks so much for the review! Great hearing from you again!

Firstly, I'm thrilled you enjoyed this chapter! Especially because as I mentioned in the author's note is was pretty difficult to write and I wanted to make sure I got the personalities correct, so I'm really glad it came off as realistic!

I'm glad you enjoyed the Marlene and Remus part, I tend to throw scenes with them in more randomly than anything but I do have things planned for them for further on in the future!

As for what's going on with the story, still a few twists to work through haha, and a ways to go! I can't wait to see what you think of it!

And thank you for being so understanding about updating! I am sorry that this chapter took ages to get up and I'll do my best not to let it become a habit haha!

Thanks again for the review, I've loved hearing from you these last few weeks! Thanks again!


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Review #11, by graylady01Black Hart: Family Fights

27th April 2010:
Great chapater. The emotional coinflict of Sami is great. I love the fact that she's acting like a Princess at the moment, not just a 7th Year Gryffindor Girl. It's a side that we haven't explored, and I'm really looking forward to.

-GRAY-

Author's Response: Hi there Gray! Excellent hearing from you, as always! I'm glad you're enjoying what I'm doing with Sami, I know that some people aren't exactly thrilled with where I'm taking the story but I think it suits her character! I'm also really glad you're enjoying this more royal side of her, it was all intentional of course and your first review definitely egged me on some more! There will be a lot more coming up though, so thank you again for the review!

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Review #12, by graylady01Black Hart: Dangerous Threats

13th April 2010:
I feel so hearbroken. Poor Sami, she's so conflicted and torn between what she thinks is right, and what she wants.

Nice way to slip in Peter by the way, smooth. :)

Great chapter, can't wait till the next installment.

-GRAY-

Author's Response: Hi again Gray! It's been great hearing from you these last few days and I'm so excited you reviewed again!

I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter, I know it was definitely one of the more upsetting ones but I'm really glad you liked it! As for Sami, she is conflicted, she wants to stay with Sirius so bad, but she wants to protect him more. And I'm glad you noticed how I tried to get Peter a little more face time haha, I'm glad you made the suggestion! Thanks again and I'll try and have the next chapter up by this weekend!


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Review #13, by graylady01The Idiot: Part 2

10th April 2010:
Aw. Loved it :O

-GRAY-

Author's Response: Hey again! Woohoo, I'm so glad you liked it! Thanks again for the review!

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Review #14, by graylady01The Idiot: Part 1

10th April 2010:
Genius! I'm sitting here, giggling like a 13 yr old teenager... And that's a major feat. Congrats! Lovely start :)

-GRAY-

Author's Response: Hey there Gray! Yay, I'm so excited you're reading some of my other stories! Haha, and it is quite fluffy, so laughing like a 13 year old is completely understandable haha. Thanks again!

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Review #15, by graylady01Brotherly Betrayal: The Map

10th April 2010:
I liked it. :)

Remus is a strong, yet still conflicted character. A good combination.

-GRAY-

Author's Response: Hi there Gray! I'm so thrilled you read this haha, it was just something that I felt like writing when I was having writer's block for Black Hart! Thanks again for the review!

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Review #16, by graylady01Black Hart: The Calm Before

10th April 2010:
So this is the first time Iím reviewing your story... ever. But I doubt that it will be the last =D Though, Iím warning you now, itís going to be long.

First up, I just want to say that Iím in love with the story Black Hart. Itís a genius piece of work.

However, Iím finding that the lack of communication between Sami and her family frustrating. I know that most of her time is spent at Hogwarts, but youíd expect her to have a more active involvement in the dangers threatening the muggle world. Sending news to her brothers, talking more frequently, playing a more active role as a Royal.

I believe that this aspect of the storyline is overlooked but other than that, I love it. Sami is a fun, quirky character that is likeable and easy to relate to, with the exception of her being Royalty.

I love you version of Sirius too. He isnít sleazy as many other representations of him, and even though I think that he and Sami are emotionally stunted, he doesnít have Ďcommitmentí issues. Itís a breath of fresh air.

I realise that this is already a exceptionally long review, but there are a few other things Iíd like to cover.

I find that you James character is in-depth and carries many different levels. Many writers donít give him much of a personality, which annoys me to no end. James is one of my favourite characters. However, Iím finding heís become a bit too Ďgirlyí. I know that itís a bad way to describe it, maybe to sentimental works? Donít get me wrong, sentimental is good. Nevertheless, heís losing some of his masculinity of a strong male since Lily started paying attention.

I do love the relationship between Remus and Marlene. Even though she can be rather self-centred and melodramatic at times, sheís a fun character to read. Remus though, his personality gets a bit lost with Marleneís, because she is so strong. Iíd love to see him speak up more, have a bigger voice.
Lastly, Peter Pettigrew. You seem to have forgotten him, as many do. Remember that he is still a Marauder and friends with James, Sirius and Remus. I encourage you to give him more of a role other than waking Sirius. Itís important to realise that he doesnít betray them till later.

Youíre always so quick with your updates, which is a definite plus! Itís always great to check my favourites and see that youíve updated. Wonderful twist with Avery by the way. I canít wait to see how that pans out.

Sorry again about the massive review, but it is 45 chapters worth =P. I love your story and thinks itís one of the best pieces of work Iíve ever read. The above are just my personal opinions on a few things I like to see included in your work to make it more realistic.

Peace Out 10/10
-GRAY-

Author's Response: Hey there Gray! Thank you so much for the review, it's fantastic hearing from new people!

Well, I'll start with the fact that I really appreciate your review because it's given me some advice and feedback on what I can do to make the story better, and that really means a lot to me, so thank you! And from there, I'm going to try and address everything you brought up!

First, you mentioned Sami and her lack of communication with her family. It's not that she's not communicating with them, always in the back of my mind when I'm writing I'm thinking of what Samantha knows of what's going on at him, after all she's very close with her brothers, I just don't write it out, which I probably should, but back and forth news was never really pivotal. There is also going to be a lot more involvement with Samantha later on with what's going on in the war, mostly when she leaves school, but I'll try and work in some more of that anyway, so thanks for suggesting that! Also, I'm thrilled that you like Samantha, she's really the only character I can take credit for and as our main character I'm glad you enjoy her!

Next, you mentioned Sirius, and I'm ecstatic that you like what I've done with him. With what we knew of Sirius from Harry Potter, he was arrogant in his Hogwart's years, but it never actually says that he was known for his pursuits of women. Now, I did give Sirius a little phase where he 'experienced' I guess would be the right way to word it, but other than that, I don't really imagine Sirius as someone who would fool around regularly. He's a very loyal person and I just can't see him being a sleazeball as you put it haha.

Next is James, probably my second favorite character from Harry Potter. I definitely tried to give him more of a personality than the quidditch playing lover of Lily Evans, but I'm glad you pointed out that he's becoming too sentimental. WHile I intentionally tried to make him a bit 'girly' when it came too Lily I don't want to take it too far, so I'm glad you brought that up. I have a lot of plans for James further on in the story which I'm sure will prove his masculinity so I hope that helps haha.

Then there is Marlene and Remus. Marlene is definitely meant to be a drama queen. Not always likable by everyone but in the end she's a good person and I think she provides a lot of comic relief as well haha. Remus however, I struggle with. I always try and get him more involved with the story and I'm glad that you'd like to see more of him and have him come out of his shell. I'll definitely try and work that in there so thank you! The same goes for Peter. It really is incredibly awful of me, but I think I subconsciously shove him to the side sometimes? It's not particularly intentional but I'm aware of what' he's going to do later on and it kind of makes me hate him a bit ahead of time, but I'll definitely try and include him more!

As for my updates, I definitely try not to make it longer than a week but I can't always keep up with that haha, but I'm glad so far it's been alright with everyone!

The Avery twist is honestly what I had planned before I even wrote this story. What's going to happen with him is actually where the entire story developed some I'm excited (and maybe a little scared) to see what everyone thinks of that, and I'll try and have it up in the next couple of days!

So, I hope my response gave you something to read, I tend to go a little overboard because I want to make sure I explain everything that everyone brings up! I genuinely appreciate what you've said and I'll use it all to the best of my ability to make my story better! Thank you so much again!


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Review #17, by graylady01Still Delicate: Daughter Dearest

29th March 2010:
I have so many different feelings and thoughts running through my head at this point.

I feeling like laughing out loud at some of the things that Rose says, so full of wit and sarcasm.
Crying because her life is so difficult, with her son and the custody battle.
I also want to throw Scorpius against a wall until he realises what a huge mistake he's making. Knock some sense into him I say!!

Most of all though, I feel like banging my head against a wall. I want to cry out to the heavens, "Why for the love of Merlin are you torturing me?" I want to know what happens next, and normally I'm not so impatient.

Great job! 10/10
-GRAY-

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Review #18, by graylady01Gravity: Prologue

25th March 2010:
OMG!!

I am so confused right now. As much as I love Blaise... I have been, and will always be a Draco supporter for this story. And he dies??? *cries*

Great start to the sequel though, I loved 'What We Knew'. And I think the name 'Gravity' seems fitting. It's a beautiful song by Sara Barielles, and I hope that this story will do it justice.

10/10

-GRAY-

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Review #19, by graylady01Living Life: Chapter Seventy Three

21st February 2010:
I have to admit that I was losing interest in Living Life. But this chapter moved me to tears. You're back on form Katie! I can't wait to read the next installment. :)

-GRAY-

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Review #20, by graylady01Saving a Rose: Nine

20th January 2010:
Nothing much happened in this chapter but that just makes me look forward to the next installment more! I'm curious as to the contents of Rose's diary. I think many are.

-GRAY-

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Review #21, by graylady01Saving a Rose: Eight

20th January 2010:
Wonderfully written. Hugo is so sweet. I like it when he's helping others because he's not thinking about his own pain, his own situation.
Good length for a chapter too.

-GRAY-

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Review #22, by graylady01Saving a Rose: Six

20th January 2010:
Now that Scorpius is back in Hugo's life will we learn more about what happened to Rose?

Great! 10/10

-GRAY-

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Review #23, by graylady01Saving a Rose: Five

20th January 2010:
Poor Hugo! His world just keeps falling apart.

Great chapter though! I'd love to see a bit more length though!

-GRAY-

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Review #24, by graylady01Saving a Rose: Four

20th January 2010:
Sorry I've been absent from your reviewing board of late.

I'm absoluting loving this story. You can believe the feelings and thoughts of Hugo and his family, which can be difficult to portray. I can't wait until they're off to Hogwarts.

-GRAY-

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Review #25, by graylady01Living Life: Chapter Seventy Two

20th January 2010:
Hey, great chapter! I would have liked to see a little bit more detail though.

Can't wait until your next update.
-GRAY-

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