Reading Reviews From Member: evanlyn
  
583 Reviews Found

Review #1, by evanlynClash: Explode

14th October 2011:
This was really really awesome!

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Review #2, by evanlynBreathing: It'll Be Funky Tonight.

27th July 2011:
DEREK!!! Catherine Tate for the win. I like that there's a Rose/Scorpius story deveopling in the shadows.

Author's Response: I love Derek with all my heart. Thank you for reading :) Ah yes, the Scorose in the shadows...

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Review #3, by evanlynBreathing: Ain't No Stopping Me. I'm in a Rock 'n' Roll Mood.

27th July 2011:
Fluff is good. Rose and Scorpius. clearly. They are canon, in my eyes. I'm pretty sure I alreadly read this but forgot to review, oh well.

Author's Response: They might as well be canon! Thank you for reviewing! It means so much to me :)

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Review #4, by evanlynBreathing: I Used To Know You So Well

27th July 2011:
I LOVED the dialogue between James and Charlotte. I heard Charlotte's voice. It was very 'real'. And the kiss was timely. I do wonder what James will make of it?

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing! I'm glad you liked it. The next chapter will reveal all!

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Review #5, by evanlynBreathing: What a Circus!

27th July 2011:
I liked this chapter alot. I'm picking up on reviewing this story, despite the fact that you didn't respond to my last reviews which usually would mean I wouldn't continue reviewing, but it doesn't matter with 'Breathing' because you writing it is enough, it's so addictive and beautiful. I especially liked, in this chapter, James' POV being so realistic and logical, thinking from one step to the next, I really liked.

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for the review. I'm way behind on review responses, and catching up takes a long time as you can probably see and I'm very sorry :( I'm glad you liked it though!

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Review #6, by evanlynDragons Awakening: Authority

9th June 2011:
This is really funny and a good start, the characters are likeable and it makes me want to read more.

Author's Response: Thanks! Glad you're enjoying it, and please keep reading and reviewing!

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Review #7, by evanlynBend or Break: Chapter Four

4th June 2011:
"he felt apprehensive and uncomfortable being here, as if he, whose bloodlines dated back to the most ancient of wizards, did not belong here."

I LOVE this statement, for an odd reason it really resonated with me, and it conjured up the image of him walking throught the halls, in the footsteps of hundreds of ancestors before him...it was like a scene from a movie. Cinematic writing, love it!

I really love the detail in this story and may be becoming addicted to it. Ever since 'Missing Mummy' got abandoned I've been needing a crime-esque fic to tide me over. This fic is truly fantastic. I will favourite it to keep on top of updates, but since I don't visit hpff too often, if you have a new chapter and need reviews on it just nudge me on the forums :)

Author's Response: And I love this phrase "cinematic writing"!!! That's totally how I think when I write: "How would this look in a movie?" :) You hit it right on the head there!

I'm so glad that you liked this! I'll definitely ask you when my new chappie is through the queue! Thanks so much for your review!


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Review #8, by evanlynBend or Break: Chapter Three

25th May 2011:
I like that Drcao saved Hermione. I picture it like, really heroic. Maybe he risked his life in saving her. I love the dramione feel to this even though no dramione has happened yet. I think Draco should have a girlfriend, and the fact he saved Hermione should put tension in their relationship and lead to a break up. Also, Draco should visit Hermione in hospital (or vice versa) ALSO the baby needs a name. Please don't name it Ron. I think that's too obvious.

Anyway this is super awesome and I'd love to read more so keep writing it!!

Author's Response: Thanks!! You're quick to catch the Dramione to feel despite the fact that there's only been one interaction between the two and they definitely don't love each other at this point. You're suggestions were also well placed because I've got something like that up my sleeve--are you reading my mind?

I'm not naming the baby "Ron", I think that'd be too weird, yeah?


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Review #9, by evanlynBend or Break: Chapter Two

25th May 2011:
This is great, I hope at this point that the accident allows for some serious developement of the Draco charcater - no matter what he was before it, good, bad, etc, now he can go through all sorts - survivor's guilt, anger, depression, acceptance, redemption - and that would be very exciting to read.

Author's Response: Oh yeah, SERIOUS character development comin' up. Just you wait. :)

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Review #10, by evanlynBend or Break: An Ending & A Beginning

25th May 2011:
I am sorry this review took so long to start, I've had several essays due at uni. Well, I like this. The sadness is very moving and I loved the characters. You might want to re-word the first few sentences as it makes it sound as though the baby only has three fingers!

Author's Response: No problemo. RL has a tendency to take precedence over HPFF, which is okay (not really) :P

Hm, the whole point of the counting up to three was becuase she lost it to her grief mid count! Sadness! *points to first paragraph* see? Crying! (joking, not mad)


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Review #11, by evanlynDestiny of the Stars: Hermione's Quest, McGonagall's Request and Draco's Questions

18th May 2011:
Hi,
I do like this, but I have problems with the dialogue sounding unrealistic. I know you didn't ask for critique so I won't get into that too much, but just for instance, saying "I will" instead of "I'll" makes it sound altogether too formal, and seems a bit like someone who hasn't been speaking english for very long.
It just doesn't seem all that comfortable, it was stiff and formal sounding, but honestly, that's a minor detail. The main part of any story, is of course, the plot and characters, and you've set them up beautifully. Someone would read this and want to know what happens next, so it's a perfect opening chapter. I like Draco's charcater, and I think you got McGonagol's perfect, too.
The level of detail is extraordinary. I like that everything is fully explained out.

evanlyn x

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review. Even though I didn't ask for critique, it is always welcome. It helps me become a better writer. I have so much past experience with formal writing for research papers that it's been hard for me to relax that. I am going to try to relax the formality as the characters relax. I guess I didn't see that in the first chapters and I can't just change the characters right away. I think it will have to be gradual, but I will try to fix it.

I really appreciate the positive comments regarding McGonagall and especially Draco. I want him to be different than he has been portrayed in JKR's books and I am glad you like him.

I really appreciate the time you took to review. Thank you again!


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Review #12, by evanlynHeritage: An Unfinished Goodbye

17th May 2011:
HI,
I can see that this is sort of similar to Harry's story, but I think the character is unique and fine. Adding in the little personality traits, like scared in the cart, and also she's a real hugger. Keep putting personality traits in (that are different from Harry's) and you'll get the characterisation down.
Thanks for requesting a review! This story isn't my kind of thing (usually) but I really liked it so maybe you've converted me :)

Author's Response: Why thank you! I'm trying to make this story as original as possible so all those differences will come into place and I won't want it to be rushed so I'm going to let things play out a little and let Phoebe get to know herself and let her edge away from being like Harry. Thank you for the review and I'm glad you like this story so far!
LpF123 x


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Review #13, by evanlynThe Golden Game: Hopelessly Devoted

16th May 2011:
This was such an awesome epilogue, I love Ron's reaction to the ring lol.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I am back to writing now after a two year break (having a baby is draining and a lot of work). I hope to have more posted soon!

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Review #14, by evanlynThe Golden Game: Hopping Hippogriffs

16th May 2011:
This is really awesome...I like it, it's very simple light reading but that's good.

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Review #15, by evanlynThe Golden Game: Hearts Afloat

16th May 2011:
I must look a bit weird, on the computer in my uni library with a big goofy smile on my face - but this chapter really did make me smile! The dialogue is really unrealistic - not that it's a problem for me, but if you want to work on that, try speaking it outloud to see if it sounds natural. (VERY minor issue - the stories awesomeness and fun fluffiness overcome it).

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Review #16, by evanlynThe Golden Game: Hiding Away

16th May 2011:
I could so picture the cheers errupting aorund them as they kissed...it's such a cute image :)

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Review #17, by evanlynThe Golden Game: Hogsmeade Hopeful

16th May 2011:
Aww holding hands!! I loove it!

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Review #18, by evanlynThe Golden Game: Happy Trails

16th May 2011:
Scorpius' attempts to woo Rose are so over-the-top and hilarious. How can she possibly resist him? I love that you put so much thought into Quidditch players, etc. I'm writing a quidditch-centric fic and I know how hard it is to keep track of those.

Author's Response: Thank you! I wish I could play Quidditch... I suppose I could be one of those people running around with a broom between their legs at the uni... Lol. :) Cheers!

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Review #19, by evanlynThe Golden Game: Head Games

16th May 2011:
Yay I love all the fluffiness!!!

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Review #20, by evanlynThe Golden Game: High Hopes

16th May 2011:
This was quite good, very fast-paced. You could slow it down and add more detail, because it doens't flow very well, it's rather choppy. That being said, I love this kind of story because it gets right to the good stuff without being all wishy washy. Fluffiness is lovely.

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Review #21, by evanlynSecond Hand Ticking: Second Hand Ticking

16th May 2011:
Hi,
Well, I have to say, this is one of the better one-shots I've ever read. I loved it! I like that it's nice and long, and the characters are well-developed in the short amount of time. Flashback scenes rarely work, but I think the one here really did, and helped to explain Ron's thought process really well.

I couldn't find any typo-like errors, so you're all good there. I thought this story was very grown up, realistic, and touching.

Thank you for directing me here, I enjoyed reading this very much.

evanlyn

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the lovely review! I am really glad you liked the story -- it fit your specified preferences, I felt, and you left an awesome and highly appreciated review. :3 Thank you!!

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Review #22, by evanlynBreathing: Stay Beautiful

11th May 2011:
I love this story...it is really awesome!

Author's Response: Thank you for reading :)

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Review #23, by evanlynBreathing: Are You Calling Me Darling?

11th May 2011:
I lovedthis chapter. I don't get the title though, it doesn't seem to have anything to do with the story.

Author's Response: Ah, not all the chapter titles do, I'm afraid. Thanks for reading!

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Review #24, by evanlynBreathing: You Got Nothing On Me

10th May 2011:
This was really great, I love the way the girls are teaming up to get Charlotte and James together, I just really hope one of the phases isn't making James jealous because I hope Charlotte is not cruel enough to use someone like that...anyway, I'll keep reading this later tonight x

Author's Response: Thank you very much :)

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Review #25, by evanlynBreathing: You're a Natural

10th May 2011:
I'm glad the secret is out! I hope James and Demeter break up soon!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review!

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