Reading Reviews From Member: Inti
  
272 Reviews Found

Review #26, by IntiEpiphany: Of Clarity and Curiosity

28th January 2010:
Hey Zinny! You know what this is? All sorts of fabulous is what it is!

It's just such a gorgeous concept, the idea of Epiphany being a place, a tangible place. That it's a place of clarity, and yet for Sirius, he's still curious, he's still wondering. It fits him perfectly, he never exactly seemed like the type to sit down and meekly accept things.

As for Ruby, she's just lovely! Exactly my type :P

It reminds me a little bit of Sitting in the Orange Tree by marinahill in style. Just the floating, lyrical quality of the description. You bring all this lovely snark into things as well though, which is always a mega plus

Umm... that's it really, LOVED IT!

Author's Response: Hiya Jack, and thank you so much! :D

I'm thrilled you like the concept of Epiphany, seeing as I wasn't too keen on writing something where I was introducing and developing this whole huge world. But if I haven't totally messed it up already, I might as well keep going with it! xD

*squee* Yes, exactly! Sirius' inability to just accept things right away comes into play later on, as does the fact that his curiosity hasn't gone (which will be fully explained later on!) It's really key actually. *COUGH* FORESHADOWING *COUGH*

Does it now? What a compliment! :) I'm glad you like how it's written and oh, yes, I thrive on the snark. xD

Thanks again for the lovely review Jack!

Zinny


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Review #27, by IntiHoliday: Holiday

24th January 2010:
BAHAHAHA GEORGIA! Feel so very privileged to actually know what's going on. I'm a bit worried for your regular readers though, could get all sorts of interesting.
Really though, much brilliance, can't wait to see what Celeste can do with Beard/Shoe! Far too talented you are XD

Author's Response: Haha, what regular readers? :P

Thanks so much, love! The Beard/Shoe was never meant to be :(


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Review #28, by IntiJust Another Midnight Run: The Banshee of Lupin Hall

21st January 2010:
I'm at a bit of a loss on how to start this review to be honest. I've been hearing about this story for a ridiculously long time, mainly from Alopex who has told me at least once a week for the last EVER that I should read it :P
Was a bit reluctant to actually, mainly because well… it had Scorose in it. Nothing against the ship in and of itself, just often feel like kicking Scorpius or similar.
Anyway, that's completely besides the point because all I have to say now is that it's a downright shame it's taken me so long to get to this! Absolute fabulousness!

I've always thought that characters are by far the most important aspect to any story and so it holds with this. They're all just… it's not so much that they're amazing in and of themselves, but they just seem right. Not even that they seem right individually but as the entire collective.
Take Molly for example, she's barely showed up the entire story and yet I feel like I get her. Or at least get her enough to have a feeling for what she might say or do in a situation. Speaking of her, by the way, should you ever get an inkling that you might want to write a spin-off for her, let me know? No pressure or anything :P
Suppose I should mention Rose and the brilliance of the whole family dynamics as well. She's just rather brilliant. The little touches you give her (pink, purple, unicorns etc.) give her this very complete feel. It's like she still hasn't quite given in to adulthood properly. Am likely, of course, to be completely wrong - but that's what I took out of that little detail. I could keep going like this about every single character, but I don't think I will, at least not at this point in time.

I feel like I should write something constructive about this, however, can't seem to think of anything so you'll just have to deal with my squeeing for a while longer yet. The plot you've created, and more importantly the world you've built it around, are just crazy good. Funny, real and flush with detail. It's the sort of story that I imagine J.K had running through her head when building her universe - it's that perfect. If I get the time I'll run through all of chapters, until then though this is pretty much it. Best Next-Gen story I've read in a good long while, have added it to my favourites, but feel free to PM me when the next chapter is up. As I think I said at the start, absolute fabulousness!

Author's Response: Wow, what a fantastic review! Thank you so much. I am really glad that you gave my story a try and liked it, especially how I characterized everyone. You know, I'm not really a Scorose fan either. I'm not sure why I wrote them, but mine are so different as to almost not be Rose and Scorpius any more haha. They're both sort of losers, actually. :p Rose has definitely not given in to adulthood - that's a great way to put it. She's quite immature about a lot of things.

I don't want to get repetitive with the thank-yous, so I'll just say one more big one and leave it at that. Thank you so much for the review! I really enjoyed reading it and hearing your thoughts, and I hope you keep reading. I'm about a third of the way into the next chapter. Hoping to have it done in the next two weeks or so. Thank you again!



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Review #29, by IntiGillyweed: roman numerals

20th January 2010:
Molly! As I do believe I've already said, this was rather fabulous!
Loved how you got so completely into the period voice while still making it well... readable :P Swap you talent yes? I've completely lost my train of thought, but I think I've pretty much said everything that needed saying.
LOVED IT XD

Author's Response: Jack! Thanks for the review! It was a bit difficult for me to maintain the period voice and still make it fun, but I'm glad that it ultimately worked out int he end. And no, I will not swap talent with you. I don't think I could handle being so awesome.

Thanks again! XD


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Review #30, by IntiAmbrosia: he could be sleeping

20th January 2010:
Gubby... just... I don't know how you do it. Seriously, you're just a constant source of inspiration. Seemingly makes no difference whatsoever what you write, it's just flawless no matter what.

This side to the Marauders-era is so rarely done and for a pretty good reason, it's hard. Capturing young!Bella, young!Narcissa and young!Andromeda is just a killer task, because who really has any idea what they were like. We kind of assume they were relatively similar up to a point, then... somewhere, there was a split. I think it's getting to that point here, fascinating to watch.

What I love so much about your writing is the little details, chilling details in this case. This, in particular: Druella was rocking back and forth in her seat, clutching a bouquet of rotting carnations. Bella’s eyes watered from the cloying scent, and she felt embarrassed for her mother’s sake, but she kept her eyes down and her face still and waited.

It's just so vivid and so very Bellatrix, minus the crazy of course. It's that idea that she was very much just a rich, spoilt, high-society girl until something (ie.Voldemort) happened. Not entirely sure why I got so much out of Bella from this, especially when Andromeda was largely the focus. Eek I must run, but I just wanted to say I LOVED IT! :P

Author's Response: You are one of the cleverest writers I've found in a long time, and one of the funniest, too. I think we're even. :P

Like I said to Jane, I don't like grouping this generation with the Marauders. They each are their own group with a unique set of problems and dynamics. The Black sisters and their ilk, I think, are the ones who see the world cracking. Sirius, James, and the rest are the ones who try to do something about it. To be honest, I don't entirely agree with the similar to a point and then sudden split argument. There's such a complexity between the three of them that it's impossible for it to have started very suddenly. The separation was a gradual but inevitable process, and I hope to capture that point.

I love that you got so much of Bella in this chapter (feels odd calling this a chapter, as it's still a monster one-shot in my head)! The crazy doesn't come in quite yet, but there are deep issues with all of them that warrant further investigation in fanon. But... yeah, I'm excited to see where the characters are going and how they develop. Thank you for the lovely review, Jack! :)


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Review #31, by IntiPaws Off: One

11th January 2010:
Bahaha Georgia! That is the cutest, most downright adorable, most amazing one-shot I've seen in... for EVER!

The best bit, obviously, was Moppet's [EPICALLY WIN NAME] POV. The Angry One and the Snuggler are just such perfectly apt names for them both.
It's a fantastic story even without Moppet's cameo at the end, gorgeous characters all of them. Really do think it was Moppet that made it though.

As always just a brilliant eye for detail, and a lovely touch of whimsy. Terribly jealous of you, is there anything you can't write?

Author's Response: YOU, GOOD SIR, ARE BRILLIANT AND I LOVE YOU.

Thanks so much, Jack; truly, truly appreciate you reading this!


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Review #32, by IntiUnconditional Love: Nineteen Years Later

10th January 2010:
Man, Rita. You're just so unfairly good it's unfair. This is just such a fabulously expressed, and original, idea. The idea of a divorced Ron/Hermione is, in and of itself, has been done before of course - however it always seems to degenerate in Dramione quick-snap. That you make them so comfortable in it is brilliance itself. Loved how it was Ron who was the workaholic, where I always thought it would have been the other way round.

"Thanks," she smiled at him, fixing his tie. He hadn't even realized it was crooked.
That was the best bit for me.

Such a completely intriguing and plausible one-shot, loved it =]

Author's Response: Jack-y! Hey there! *I blush* I was just looking for an excuse to divorce them :) It gives me a warm fuzzy feeling, destroying the happy Weasley family *is very very evil* Anywhoo, glad you liked the story! It makes me smile inside and out!

*hugs* You rock in more ways than one!


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Review #33, by IntiViktor Krum: Sex God?: Two

9th January 2010:
'I vas beginning to think that you liked vimmen,' BEST EVER!

Brilliant second chapter. Really, that you've managed to keep Viktor going without it coming across as ridiculous and over-the-top is most definitely a major credit to you.

"However, despite all this, she was attempting to throw herself at Viktor Krum, who was a complete dickhead no matter how you looked at it. Alright, he did work the angry caveman look very well, with those brooding eyes and that beard that was wrong in all the right ways, but this did not change the fact that he was a total dickhead."
SECOND BEST EVER!

Don't really have a whole lot to add actually, made I laugh? That's about it really :P

Author's Response: Hahahahaha, well, it's really impossible not to like Viktor, so it's not surprising that he was beginning to wonder.

I'm very glad you're still liking it :P. I do anticipate the moment when it all goes horribly downhill. Thank you! He definitely has crazy potential :P.

Making people laugh IS the aim, so I'm very pleased that it seems to be working out so far.

Thank you for reading and reviewing!

xx


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Review #34, by IntiOf Square Pegs and Round Holes: Prologue

6th January 2010:
Aww! I have to say, I'm reasonably confident you're the only person around who could get me to both read and enjoy R/Hr fluff. I seem to say that with a lot of your writing actually :P

This was just really, properly lovely. Reads a little bit like a fairytale and a little bit like a movie voice-over. Don't really have a whole lot to contribute actually, outside of telling you that I loved it ^^

Author's Response: Jack. Darling. I'll make a R/Hr believer out of you yet!

:-)

Thanks for reviewing!

xoxo
Melanie


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Review #35, by IntiDraw, O Coward: Draw, O Coward

6th January 2010:
GINA! Just to give you an idea about just how much I reacted, was talking to Rachelle (she being the one who linked me and all) and these were my words:
GAHH WHAT!
THAT IS AMAZING!
True story. Seriously unbelievable bit of skill - mindblowingness. I liked the backwards way better I think, although I'm sure part of that is just for the sheer novelty :P
That's it really, just... congratulations on a brilliant, brilliant bit of writing.

Author's Response: YOU FLATTER ME TOO MUCH. xx

Thank you so much. I was nervous to put it out there, because it is so different. But to hear your praise... SO worth it. :) I really appreciate you reading and reviewing.


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Review #36, by IntiRavissant: Ravissant

24th December 2009:
Oh Marina. This was for me? :wub:

Author's Response: it was indeed :)

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Review #37, by IntiI Am Man, Hear Me Roar: Dominique

20th December 2009:
Where are the feats of strength Mel? The feats of strength! (Okay - so may or may not have just watched that particular episode)

Anyway - I think the best way I can properly explain how much I loved this is to point out that I'm now pretty much completely picturing Dom as a boy. Really just stunning brilliance all-around.
Really don't have much time but I did just want to mention one thing. SO with you about the Delacour/ Weasley thing. Those kids are just so not Weasleys, am seriously considering calling them Delacour for all stories to be written.

Anyway, loved it!

Author's Response: Hahaha! You got the reference! -jumps for joy- I was hoping someone would get it. :-)

Ever since I wrote this, I have pictured him that way, too. I'm sure I'll continue writing Dom as a girl in the future, but I'll probably throw a male Dom in a few fics. I'll start a revolution. XD

And you're right, Bill and Fleur's kids really seem like they'd take after Fleur much more than Bill, but I always love it when I see a story that involves the Weasley/Delacour kids having distinctly Weasley traits.

Thank you for the review, Jack!

Melanie


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Review #38, by IntiViktor Krum: Sex God?: One

8th December 2009:
JANE! Okays, don't have all that much time to write this as I rather must skip off. My basic point is that you've completely delivered with this. On the promise of the story that is. It's such a brilliant, brilliant idea that it really could have gone horribly wrong. But it hasn't!
My biggest concern going in was the humour, just because this story could so easily lend itself to slap-sticky laughs - have gone well beyond that though. It's snarky and clever and just lovely. As was Alicia by the way [swoons over bike-riding.]

Viktor was fantastically over-the-top in his narcissism. Oliver was lovely in his woe-is-me celebrity slouching. And Alicia is, for now, rising above. Love her notes, made me laugh muchly.

'I vant you to talk to Hermione Granger and find out vy she is marrying this ridiculous beardless man,' Best line have seen for a long, long time. And now I really must depart, fantastic start - demand an update pronto!

Author's Response: JACK! Do not worry, the fact that I am receiving a review from someone with such manly muscles has reduced me to a quivering wreck :P.

Hahaha, yes, thank you for voicing my main fear. I just did NOT want to ruin the great idea that this apparently is and so far all seems to be going okay, as long as I am not being reviewed by a batch of compulsive liars, which is entirely possible.

SEE, WHY DID YOU NOT TELL ME OF THESE CONCERNS. Although, as I said to Rachel was probably best not to, as you would have said how awful it would be and I would have done it... Am not quite sure what to call my sense of humour, but anything good isn't really on the radar :P. LOL, I remember the huge confusion everyone had over whether she was going to ride a bike or a motorbike. She's not quite biker material.

Seriously, would you not be very full of yourself if you were Viktor? Oh, wait... :P I KID. DO NOT WORRY. ILY REALLY. The two extremes of celebrity? She is professional to the core.

Shall get an update asap, by which time I expect you to have grown a rather impressive beard, or I shall be severely disappointed.

Jane x


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Review #39, by IntiCaught in a Web: Prologue

17th November 2009:
Rachelle! Lovely dedication. Completely insane, but still ^^
Should get onto the actual chapter now I suppose.
I'm finding it a bit hard to review this properly actually. Not in a bad way at all, just - you've dropped us so in the middle of things it's quite hard to work out where to start.

It is Seb with Molly right? The first time I read it I was completely sure, then the second time I thought it might actually have been Harrison. So pls confirm? Actually, I've read it again and it's definitely Seb. Why is he hiding/ who is he hiding from? TOO MUCH MYSTERY YOU SNEAKER!

Anyway, this really is a whole lot better than the original. Molly's more complete - feels less… thrown together? Eek that sounds mean actually, take that back. Seb is a lot better as well. He's darker and prettier, doesn't seem so much like a whinging teenager - sounds actually properly bad. Has a dark glamour to him, can actually see why Molly would fall for him - whereas in the original I couldn't really see it.

The descriptions are lovely. So often they can get overbearing - here they were just right. Loved the short sentences as well, sped things up and added far too much to the tension. The whole thing was just brilliant really, probably my favourite thing of yours so far. Update? XD

Jack x

Author's Response: I enjoyed writing the dedication more than chapter 4. It is my excuse to be soppy and stuff.

A couple of lines would have done. Big reviews mean big responses and I lack energy (though this is a pretty quick and efficient response - think yourself lucky that I have better things to be doing/avoid)

Harrison? No, no, no. Definitely Seb but I will clear that up. I thought I'd name-dropped but I hadn't. Possibly the 10th review out of 10 now to ask so I'll go back to it.
I CAN'T REMEMBER. Isn't that dreadful? I must have made a note of it somewhere but I can't remember why at all :/

Oh you love it. Mystery is ♥

If you really took it back, you'd have deleted it :P I needed to hear it so don't worry. Messy Molly will return because she's causing me problems. Really.

YAY! I'm fixing him. Though he's getting a little more emo again but this is just habit...he's a complicated boy.

-sigh-
I'll go and track down Alice, I suppose. Get her to do a quick read-over for me...you get some Louis in the next chapter, by the way (a whole line of him).

Thank you, lovely :)
xx


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Review #40, by IntiElectric Twist: A Case of the Mondays

10th November 2009:
Eugh. Roger Davies. Hated him in canon and I really hate him now. Unfortunate that it had to be Victoire as I've always rather liked her - although really that's likely the testosterone talking. Can see that we're meant to really, truly hate Victoire - can't quite bring myself to though, not yet anyway. Seems more that she was getting desperate, Teddy wasn't listening and so she did something completely extreme to get his attention. Will blame it more on Davies for taking advantage of her vulnerability than anything else. At least for now anyway :P

This was a better chapter than the first I thought. While that one was perfectly lovely, this one injected some real emotion into things - took the story to another level for mine.

There’s always time to change that. This entire bit is so perfect and so very male. Have you read High Fidelity before? If yes - there's a scene very like this, where the protagonist is being being heartbroken then falls rather spectacularly for another girl at the same time. We're quite special like that actually =]

Again, top-notch powers of description. You really did capture his utter desolation and pathetically dishevelled state. And you even managed to make it attractive! It's most definitely a talent.
And isn't Roxanne cute? She's SO cute! I love that quiet, sincere earnestness she has to her. It's a brilliant characterisation, especially when you think about how extroverted her parents were.

Fantastic story, can't wait for an update! =]

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Review #41, by IntiElectric Twist: Whistle While You Work

10th November 2009:
Hey Molly! Have been meaning to read this for ages actually. Has, after all, received a fairly stunning reaction around TGS.

So anyway, where to start. Well, first off, loved it. Just an utterly charming first chapter.

I thought Bert was fantastic, probably the best character of the three - don't get me wrong, it's no reflection on Roxanne or Teddy at all. I mean really, Charlie was just about the best character in the entire HP series and he's mentioned like... twice ever. Just one of those perfectly realised minor characters. What I especially liked about him was the way he grounded Roxanne. Not just personality-wise, but in the context of the story as a whole.

Thought the way you handled magic was brilliant. A lot of people seem to forget just how integral magic is to HP - sounds silly I know, but still! Just the little touches, the flicks of the wand, it's fantastic and really does add a lot to the story.

Roxanne is a lovely character - she just seems very human, very real. She's a Weasley without being excessively so - not an easy thing to manage.

Teddy too! Absolutely fantastic piece of fangirling :P Really do mean that in the best possible way, he was just described so vividly and perfectly. While am not in quite the same position to appreciate as the majority of your audience will be, that really doesn't take away from the writing at all.

So, yeah, I just loved it - lovely is all I really have to say ^^ -skips off to Ch.2-

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Review #42, by IntiJuliette: Solitary Glass

5th October 2009:
Hey Shelby, here I be!

I'm not entirely sure how to review this to be honest. So I'll just write as I think, if I miss anything out - apologies.

Nicely done with the title, this is your own little twist on Romeo and Juliet right? That's what I took out of it anyway, maybe I'm just horribly wrong.

I thought your characterisations for all three were interesting. Definitely a different take - at least to me. From that tiny little sliver of canon I always felt that Eileen and Tobias' relationship was deeply unhappy, possibly even abusive. And further, that Snape despised his father, but felt at least some affection for his mother. So this story, where the two love each other so very much is about as far away from my interpretation as possible. That's kind of the great thing about fanfiction isn't it?
Ooh, I meant to mention - Snape. This line here, 'He won’t explain his motives; motives are fickle things, for the weak and sorrowful.' intrigued me. I've always seen Snape as being purely driven by motives. His fascination with the Dark Arts possibly a product of an unhappy childhood, his decision to join the Death Eaters driven on by his torture at the hands of James and Sirius, his decision to help Dumbledore and the Order brought about by his love (obsession) with Lily. So again, a very different interpretation which I found fascinating.

The stream of consciousness style worked well for this I felt. It did raise a few questions though, moments I thought were slightly contradictory. This passage here for example:
Severus jumps up and strides over to Tobias, who is bent over with exhaustion. “Hold on, we are using magic.”

The son apparates to his former home and dumps his father on the floor at his feet.Using the kitchen table as leverage, Tobias stands and uses his all of his remaining to strength to push Severus into the adjoining bedroom


I'm sure you have a reason for it - it just seemed strange to me that Severus would be actively willing to return to the house, but then would be forced into the bedroom. There were a couple of other moments like this, although I couldn't tell you them off the top of my head.

Oh, I just had a thought. Did Severus poison Eileen so that Tobias would kill himself? Because that, to me, sounds like a very Snape thing to do.

Anyway, I'm sure I've spectacularly missed the point - but that's it really. Hope this was at least somewhat interesting and/or useful to you ^^

Author's Response: Hello Jack! Thanks for stopping by! :]]

That's fine! Anything you have to say will be just great.

Actually, yes, it's my own little twist. I thought the title was very appropriate :]

Oh yes, my characterizations. Such an interesting topic, indeed. Here's a little bit of why I characterized them as such. You see, I always believed that Severus blamed his mother for marrying a Muggle. Perhaps he always believed she could have done without that and married into a pureblood family of worth. And Tobias's blood status, in turn, would make Severus hate his father. It's open to interpretation, of course.

Ah, Snape. And yes, I'm so glad that you mentioned that tidbit. It's always about motive for the bad guys, isn't it? The same applies to Severus, in a sense. He /does/ have a motive, he just chooses to hide it. Or I chose to hide it, rather. Anyway, I felt that giving this a motive would bog the story down. Interesting perspective, maybe, but I hope you thought it okay nonetheless.

Once again, I'm glad you mentioned that. I decided to leave that piece that you showed me open for the reader. Originally, I was going to have Severus walk into the bedroom himself, then I thought otherwise. I thought that having Tobias's force Severus into the bedroom would signify Tobias's love for Eileen in a very subtle way.

I won't say yay or nay, but it seems you've caught me, Jack! How did I not think you would catch that? Brilliant!

No, no, I like your comments, they were awesome. It's always nice to have someone pick at your work and get down to the roots.

Thanks Jack!


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Review #43, by IntiThe Runaway Bride: Crazy Wedding

5th October 2009:
Hey hey, here I am from TGS =]

Okay, so I think you've got a really good plot here - it's Harry and Ginny's wedding, who could possibly hate it? I also liked that you had Ginny run off before it all went down, a nice little twist. I do have some things to point out/ask about however.
Basically it comes down to me wishing you'd expanded on a few key points.:
Why did Ginny run away, and then why did she choose to go and get an ice-cream?
The necklace is a lovely idea, but why wouldn't Dumbledore have given it to Harry?
Why did Harry and Percy glare at each other?
It just would have been nice to see these key ideas fleshed out a little bit more.

Now you asked about whether you did a good job writing from a guys POV. I think you did, although he maybe didn't sound like a guy about to get married. He was just so relaxed about Ginny going missing, wouldn't he have freaked out at all?

One last thing, the sentence structure during the narrative is a little bit strange at times - like this: It gets annoying in the public but when you see their happy faces, and it makes me feel all tingly inside. I don’t like that tingly feeling makes me all worried.
I understood what you meant, but grammatically it doesn't really make sense. Just something to watch out for.

Anyway, I enjoyed this - very cute little one-shot ^^

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Review #44, by IntiStarting Monday: Le Debut

3rd October 2009:
Hey hey! This little review really isn't as good as it could be as am really incredibly tired and about to crash. But I saw this and loved it! Bill/Fleur is such an underused ship and one with a lot of potential. I think a lot of people get turned off by Fleur actually - I love her though!
Love the balance you struck between her first-day nerves and an innate confidence and sense of superiority. It played off really well.

Bill too was nicely characterised. I like that you've made him slightly irritating, that obnoxiousness of the over-confident. And I think Bill would have been slightly like that, he was after all a massive over-achiever as well as good looking/cool into the bargain.

Can see why you'd be slightly unsure about this, but I'd definitely give it a go and see where it takes you. Great start, I really really liked it XD

Author's Response: Hi there! I was terribly excited to see I had a review, and even more excited when I saw who it was from ;)

It definitely is underused! I have hardly ever seen a well-done or indepth Bill/Fleur before, so I decided I'd have to write one myself! I'm happy you like Fleur; I was nervous about starting out with her as my MC, because so many people dislike her!

Haha, you explained Bill better than I could have! That's all so true; I think he's hilarious! Their temperments should play off each other well, I hope!

It was most certainly a good review, thank you! Don't worry about it, I'm grateful you took the time to say anything! I was awfully worried about this, but I feel better now, all due to you. I really appreciate it =] Looking forward to helping with Monday, Monday, too! Thanks again...


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Review #45, by IntiFoolish: Girl

25th September 2009:
Oh Melanie, this is just unbelievable. I'm on a bit of a bittersweet jag at the moment, so to find this was just glorious.
That last line in particular, I can has it please? It's just so elegantly simple, it's 500 words in 10.

What was so special about it was just how complete the characters were. In 500 words you've delivered Sirius completely. One of the most complex characters in the entire series and you've got him completely figured out, and more importantly, down on paper.

The girl as well, there's something very... pure about her characterisation. I don't know how you've done in, but I've got this picture of her in my head and I want to read more about her! Pretty, naive, pining - that's just how I imagine her anyway. Probably a lot of friends, quite a bright and sparky girl.

Anyway, I could keep going and going, but I won't. In short, I loved it.

Author's Response: Thanks for the amazing review, Jack!

I think I'm in a bittersweet phase, too. Been writing a lot of it lately.

I'm really glad you liked the last line. I hate writing final lines -- so much pressure and expectation to end with something string and memorable, and I fail at it so much -- but it makes me happy to know I accomplished it here.

Thanks for the comments about characterization, too! I think it was ambitious of me to write about these 2 characters in 500 words, because firstly we know nothing about the sitting girl, and secondly I wanted to write Sirius as he's not often written -- you know, I wanted to stay away from playboy Sirius, because I don't see him like that, and anyway I find aloof Sirius so much more alluring. (I have self-sabotaging taste in men, can you tell? It's so sad.)

I'm really glad you liked the girl, though -- I didn't want to reveal a ton about her, because I wanted readers to have some liberty to imagine her as they please, like she's sort of an Everyman (Everywoman?) She's every girl who's ever had her heart broken over a ridiculous crush. But to hear that you think her characterization is pure, is great to hear, because I like to think of her that way. Just naive, but very nice and well-meaning. No agenda or anything.

Thanks again for the fantastic review! I'm really glad you liked it.

Melanie


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Review #46, by IntiPink: Pink

21st August 2009:
FIRST! HA! Will start off by answering your A/N question I think. Basic answer is yes, totally totally can. Hermione totally would have had a thing for shoes, just wouldn't have discovered it until later - nods-. And now, onwards.

I loved Ginny in this actually. Especially the way she felt the need to interfere. Always got the feeling that she never held Ron in particularly high regard - at least in this area of life :P Also the way she just wasn't taking no for an answer. She's just all do it or I hex you, then bam - hexed.

Honestly, I don't usually like Ron or Hermione in fanfiction often. But in this they were just so... right. Ron was gormless without being completely and utterly brainless. Hermione was all tentative and shy and in denial. But then when she's pushed into what she wants she's happy. If that makes sense? It doesn't does it?

Anyway, I loved it. Lots and lots [and lots.] The shoes were still the highlight though ^_^

Author's Response: OMGIT'SJACK :D Did you know you write like Louis sounds? It's weird - insanely and awesomely cool, but strange :P

And so can I, obviously. I think Hermione just needs some pink shoes and she is set for life, basically :D Bugger Ron and Rose, pink shoes are all she needs!

I'm glad you liked Ginny! I always see her as a motivating force behind Hermione...and probably Ron. All he wanted was tea, but Ginny had other plans. It's some weird voyeurism-type thing :P

I have to agree - Ron and Hermione, while I love them in canon, I really avoid them in fanfiction. But thank you for the lovely compliments! They mean so much, thank you :D (And of course you make sense!)

Thank you so much for the amazing review! -hugs- The shoes were the highlight, yeah? I found some like them yesterday (minus the sparkles) so I bought them ^_^ They're purrrdy...Haha, thanks again!


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Review #47, by IntiFinally Got It Right: Part Two

11th August 2009:
Back again!

There's an interesting dream-like quality to this story. Especially the potion-brewing scene. It just doesn't quite feel... real. And I mean that in the best possible way, don't get me wrong. It's not so much unreal as it is surreal.

I love the butterfly symbolism with Capria, that's working really well. She's such an interesting character. She seems to understand him, tolerate his more... unusual aspects and cuts through his ramblings to see what he really means.

The little touches you add, like Xeno's craving for something salty, ground this story beautifully. It just draws things back down and helps the reader to engage. I think everyone knows what that feeling is like.

Fascinating, fascinating story. I really can't wait to see where you take it next.

Author's Response: Yikes, it's taken me forever to reply to this! And I still don't know what to say! :)

I'm so glad to hear that there is a surreal feeling to this story. That is precisely what I was going for. Sort of the dreamy, romantic summer that everyone imagines but rarely ever happens (except for in fiction, lol). :D

Capria is an interesting creature. She's giving me a lot of grief, because she's so overly imaginative... and I haven't been that way since I was a kid, sadly. It's nice to retreat into my head sometimes.

Gah, thank you! I thought the salty craving was utterly random, but it just sort of came out as I was writing, and felt natural. *shrugs* Thanks!

Thank you so much for this review! I really appreciate it and will let you know when I update (which will hopefully be soon!).


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Review #48, by IntiFinally Got It Right: Part One

11th August 2009:
Hey there, here for the TGS Review Exchange, somewhat last-minute I know :P

This is fantastic. The first three paragraphs, in particular, were compelling. They felt like something out of the opening of a film, or maybe a trailer. Could hear the voice-over ringing out. Excellent way to start things off.

What I especially liked was the characterisations. Xeno as a fairly normal boy who sees and thinks just a little bit differently to everyone else. The beautiful, demanding girlfriend. Then Capria. She's plain in appearance, but enticing and alluring at the same time. And she's funny!

You've clearly thought a lot about their characters, matching them up to Luna. Her social awkwardness, perception and attitude towards life has obviously come straight from her parents.

Basically, fantastic start, onto the next chapter go I.

Author's Response: Ah! *blushes* Thank you!

Sorry it's taken so long to respond to this review. I'm so flattered, though. Really. I don't know what to say! Yes, I did take a lot of time thinking this through and oh my goodness am I glad it shows! :) It's seriously my favorite thing ever to hear when I get characterizations right on, because that is my favorite part about writing. It's so rewarding when my readers appreciate a character.

*squee* :D


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Review #49, by IntiThe Perfect Plans of Padfoot and Prongs: The Perfect Plans of Padfoot and Prongs

27th July 2009:
Far fetched? Not at all!
James/Sirius: Tick!
General/Romance/Humor: Tick!
15+: Tick! (despite the sexay slash)
Marauders Era: Tick!

This is just utterly brilliant. Your inner Marauder fan-girls comes out here I suspect :P

Excessively admirable success. Look at all the exclamation marks I've used already. If that one girl were to have a name I suspect it would sound something like Jellyman :P

“Insane,” I said softly, mostly to myself. Was my favourite line. Not entirely sure why, but could just imagine James so vividly moaning at the mental anguish of dealing with Sirius. It's just SUCH a Sirius idea. One of those completely and utterly insane ideas that are just so stupid they might work.

Your writing reminds me quite a bit of Procrastinator-starting2moro, who is quite simply the funniest fanfiction author I have ever come across.

Such a very, very good story! I can't wait to see where you take it!

Author's Response: Haha, this made me giggle :D Thank you so much! And I do believe the girl in the background is named Kelly Mane - any bad rhyming is totally coincidental XD Haha, while I've never really been a fan of straight up James/Sirius (I'm a Lily/James girl all the way), I am rather partial to Remus/Sirius so definitely used some projecting here :P

I'm so glad to hear that you thought it was a Sirius-ish plan! I actually got the idea from Sex and the City - they all seem to have a gay BFFL, so I was like well, what if they weren't really gay? And I was having a bit of trouble with a plot for this, so...poof :D Story!

Thank you so much for the wonderful compliments! You flatter me far too much - keep going and my ego will explode ;D Again, thank you so much, I'm so glad you liked the story! Thank you ♥


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Review #50, by IntiWatching Lily Evans: Watching Lily Evans

27th July 2009:
Umm did someone say adorable?
Fantastic piece of Lily/James fluff, and I really do mean that in the best possible way. Impressive that you managed it from James' POV as well!
My favourite line was probably the note. So simply and eloquently worded :P
Everything I could possibly want in a Lily/James one-shot. Cute characters, funny plot, brilliance XD

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I am so glad you enjoyed it, it was a lot of fun to write. I'm a little bit in love with James, and writing a James/Lily for four years from Lily's POV made me a tiny bit more willing to broaden my horizons :) Again, thank you so much for the wonderful review! Really did make my day, I love it when people enjoy my stories :D

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