Reading Reviews From Member: HarrietHopkirk
  
425 Reviews Found

Review #26, by HarrietHopkirkTainted Hearts: Tainted Hearts

9th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

I keep reading Dramiones even though I usually steer clear of them because they are usually very cliche - but I really enjoyed this! Well done!

You paint a very good mental picture with your words. Your imagery and description are spot on, and really add to the poetic feel of the story. I liked the dialogue too - realistic and believable and in character.

The emotion! The feels! They were wonderfully executed and really worked with the tone of the story. I do feel sorry for the two of them, and I am glad they spent this time together :) LOOK MY DRAMIONE FEELS ARE CHANGING SOMEONE HELP!

I'm really impressed with this. You were able to convey so much through so little words - which is the point of the challenge I know - but it really worked. I enjoyed it. Well done.

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Review #27, by HarrietHopkirkNot At All: She Wasn't Afraid

9th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

I love, love, love this! I really enjoyed the ambiguity, how you didn't reveal their names until the very end. A mark of how much I enjoyed is that I don't usually read Dramione! Very good!

Your imagery and description were really well executed - you managed to communicate a lot despite your short word count, and a small amount of dialogue. Really well done.

The characterizations of the two were also spot on. The strength and bravery of Hermione was really good. I also really liked the repetition of Hermione not being afraid, it kept rhythm and maintained flow, and meant the tone of the piece remained chilling and unsettling.

Overall, very well done!

Author's Response: Thank you thank you thank you. hehe

To be honest, I think the main reason I didn't reveal names is because I had to stick to 500 words? That might be the case but I'm not sure. But, thank you, I'm glad it works!

Oooh! I'm glad you enjoyed it even though you don't read Dramione. (I, on the other hand, am a shameless Dramione lover)

Yes. Actually the choice of 'She wasn't afraid. Not at all." came from something else entirely and I thought.. what if the words belie the situation. Like, it's not the sort of situation when you would be unafraid but she steadfastly refuses to give in to fear.

Thank you for the lovely words! I appreciate it.

--Carla


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Review #28, by HarrietHopkirkTask One Challenge: Abra Kadabra: mumbo jumbo

8th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

I always feel like Cho gets a lot of bad press - yeah, she cried a lot when she was with Harry, made some decisions that you would make if you were in her situation, but HER BOYFRIEND WAS KILLED BY VOLDEMORT AND IT WAS REALLY SUCKY FOR HER SO JUST GIVE HER A BREAK! I really like Cho stories. And you managed to fit in the previous House Cup prompts so well.

It probably felt like an eternity, because adolescence feels an eternity squished into hours, but in strict time, as objective a temporal measure our understanding of time is, it couldnít have been a long time. They say love can happen in an instant, can take a lifetime to kindle, can come and go like wind over the course of relationships, but who knows? So so so so so so good! Aaahh!

I've always wanted to write a story about a wizard/witch and Muggle relationship, how some partners would react (I would be insanely jealous!). Michael seems pretty nice, tbh, but you also had Cho's characterization spot on: her bitterness post-Cedric and post-war was beautifully handled, probably a reason for why she married a Muggle.

Well done! I like very much.

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Review #29, by HarrietHopkirkyour enemy is sleeping: pomegranate gelato

8th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

This is beautiful! I really enjoyed reading this. It is so poetic and lovely and gaaahhh. I'm going to trawl through your author page now because I am consistently in awe of your writing, regardless of genre or characters or style. It just works.

And this is just gorgeous! I love Andromeda fics, but the ones I read usually explore her post-war experience, after she loses nearly everything. This is different, and although I was a little confused in places, I really enjoyed reading it. I loved the references to Greek mythology, the stars, the moths - Icarus? She never understood that these were not mosaics in the sky, that as high as she flew, she would not caress the bright tiles. She does not understand that she cannot touch them.

I had to read a couple of times to be certain. Andromeda, Lucius and Narcissa - Demeter, Hades and Persephone?! Help me out, here!

Anyway, even if I'm wrong, I really enjoyed reading this. Well done Gubz. ALSO LEONARD COHEN.

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Review #30, by HarrietHopkirkDevilish Delights, Wicked Ends: XII. Stratagem

8th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

STUFF IS GOING TO GO DOWN AND I AM EXCITED! Seriously though, I know I've said it before but I can't really comprehend the level of cool that your characters exist on. It's just unattainable to me.

That scene with Albus and Ophelia - it was nice to finally hear some details about New Year's Eve, to see whether it was an Albus power play or simply drunken lust and the emotions and actions behind it. BUT ALSO POWER DYNAMICS AND ALBUS BEING EEEVIL AND OPHELIA BEING COOL AND EDGY. Just superb dialogue, superb unravelling of backstory and past events... Just ughhh. Everyone's as kings questions and I don't trust the answers. THE TRUTH IS OF NO CONSEQUENCE.

My faves rn are Ophelia and Rose. I'd love to see a little more of Antigone and Scorpius, but I'm sure that'll happen as the story progresses and stuff goes down at the Valentine's party and Damian and/or Sybil carry out her plans. I'm so excited!

I love your characters, I love this story. Can't wait for the next update, Gubby. Truly.

Author's Response: Stuff is always just about to go down, so now we can bring on the stuff! And ugh, the crazy level of ... you call it cool, we've termed it 'glossy evil'... this story exists on... it's so insane. I don't know how I didn't burn myself out trying to do it. But it's done, so huzzah.

I'm trying to remember now whether Ophelia and Albus hooking up on NYE was in the original outline, and I don't think it was. It was a happy accident of plotting that gave the story a really great underlying tension, so that is partly why we didn't hear details about that night before. The other parts being that 1. Ophelia didn't want to relive them and 2. if all that /had/ been some Albus power play, that would have been all kinds of horrid. And Albus is many things, but he's not all kinds of horrid. It was an accident in every sense of the word, and accidents happen in a world of cool glossy evil, so it's great to add some emotional imbalance to the power dynamics and evil Albus and edgy Ophelia somehow. Like I said in an earlier response, that section was my favorite -- best written, some of my favorite character dynamics (though Damian and Sybil are also hiiighly important, so keep an eye on what they do too!).

Antigone and Scorpius, I know, are a little lacking. Scorpius was always going to be, because he is not a pillar character, but Antigone definitely we need to get to know better. And we will, starting with the Valentine's Ball, in fact. I've said this in responses before, but it took me longer to figure out who Antigone was because the plotting necessarily put her at a remove from the heart of the action at first. She really comes into her own in the second half of the story, which is fast approaching.

I love you, I love your reviews, I love your thoughts! The next update is never far away. Thank you so much, darling, truly.


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Review #31, by HarrietHopkirkDevilish Delights, Wicked Ends: XI. Madness

8th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hellooo Gubby! I am back, and sorry it has taken me so long to read these latest couple of chapters - but I'm on holiday atm so here I am! And as always, I am in awe of your writing. You really are talented, Gub-Gub.

I love the relationship and dynamics between Sybil and Ophelia. It's so interesting. Obv you've got Potter involved now, so things are way more complicated. I can't help but wonder if Sybil tries to be as ice queen and 'above it all' as Ophelia, but idk. I like them both, obv, and you write them both so well. (And Urquhart is the name of the BBC character that Frank Underwood from House of Cards is based on, so I can't help but draw a slightly Machiavellian comparison).

Also... Love/lust triangle? There's hints but I'm not certain. Probs wrong.

Your female characters are just fab - I love your characterization of Rose. She does what she wants and to hell with the consequences - the insight into her choice/choosing of boys/relationship with Thackeray was inspired. Her inner monologue is beautifully written, and it was great to see things from her perspective.

Just because he hadnít said he would replace her with Sybil Vaisey didnít mean she didnít know he would. And Rose would rather give herself up than give him the chance. I'M SO EXCITED TO SEE THIS ONE PLAY OUT!

And Caspar! A new, darker side to Caspar! So is he only with her for the power?! That's a mad twist, yo. I enjoyed it. Onto the next chapter!

Author's Response: Hi Hattie!! So wonderful to see you back, and honestly -- wow, you are such a darling, this makes me so happy :)

Sybil and Ophelia are a very interesting pair. They've done what others in this story with a complicated backstory haven't been able to do: they were enemies when they were young, and now they're not. They've forgiven but neither has entirely forgotten, especially not now that Sybil is becoming a new kind of leader and now that Ophelia has long since turned a new leaf. I wonder what you mean by "if Sybil tries to be as ice queen and 'above it all' as Ophelia," though. What I'll say is that Ophelia is a big unconscious and conscious influence on Sybil, and what she was like as an ice queen may have taught Sybil how to try to be when dealing with similar situations. In their personalities, Sybil is of course more fiery than Ophelia. (I don't watch House of Cards and only picked Urquhart because it was a canon Slytherin surname that wasn't super Death Eater-y and it started with a vowel, which I thought was nice with Ophelia. The Machiavellian influence is an added, unintentional bonus).

Rose... well, she's a nutjob, and I love her for it. But yeah, she has her reasons for everything -- for being this way, and acting the way she does, and picking the people she does for the reasons she does -- so I'm glad I'm doing her some justice! Poor girl. One day I will write a normal Rose. Who doesn't scheme against her family and the rest of the world to get to what she wants. (Though really, what does she want?). And hehe I'm so glad you got to this Caspar part, since you liked him so much in the beginning. I wouldn't say he's with Sybil /only/ for the power but it's a giiiant driving factor. I didn't think it was a ~twist~ but I'll take it.

Thanks so much for a great review :D


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Review #32, by HarrietHopkirka slow shattering: mirror thrown to the ground

7th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

I have such a special place in my heart for Lavender stories - she got a pretty raw deal in the books, and I love stories like this about her, where she's depicted as totally realistic. Your writing style is also ridiculously good, so kudos to you.

I almost always forget that Lavender is attacked by Fenrir in the battle, because it's so brutal it's difficult to imagine. Additionally, J.K had portrayed her as such a girly girl that, although she was brave and a member of the Order of the Phoenix, this attack just contrasted horribly with her whole demeanour. Do you understand what I'm going on about? Sometimes I don't. But anyway, you've got that contrast between red blood and white sheets, and it totally works. It's really great.

Her narration style is realistic - the rhythm of it works so fast and rambling that it matches the pace of the battle surrounding her. And your thoughts would be that fast, trying to combat different spells but then also watch your friend be attacked. And poor, poor Parvati! So brutal. So vicious. Good lord. It's the same throughout though - the narration and the tone match the content and action in the story and it works super super well, so well done!

I can't even put into words how good this is, and I how much I appreciate your writing. You really make good use of repetition, dialogue, contrast, imagery, everything and it works spectacularly. So well well done!

Author's Response: Hello, Harriet! ;)

Honestly, I'm not sure when I started putting so much thought and love into Lavender, since I never really thought about her that much while I was reading the books. I'm so so glad you think this was totally realistic, as I was definitely aiming for that and THANK YOU for saying my writing style is nice! It means a lot to me. ♥

Yes, I definitely understand what you're talking about and I agree with you, the contrast between her attitude and life and the brutality of the attack she went though - it's really difficult to imagine what it must have been like for her. I'm glad the contrast btween red blood and white sheets worked as well, I believe I did bring it up quite a lot. :P

I'm really glad you think so! This was very stream-of-consciousness writing, hardly any of it was edited, and I did worry a bit that Lavender's thoughts would be too difficult to follow because youre right, her thoughts are moving really fast during the battle, trying to keep a hold on reality as chaos surrounds her, I'm happy you enjoyed it! I was definitely hoping that the narration and the tone would work for the things that were happening in the story, and I'm so glad you think that it worked! And yes, poor, poor Parvati. :(

Oh my goodness, thank you so, so much for the absolutely amazing review, I really don't know what to say to your lovely compliments except a huge THANK YOU! ♥


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Review #33, by HarrietHopkirkFlung Salt: an absence

7th July 2014:
House Cup Review 2014

Again, your writing style is just lovely! I love how you incorporated the flashback, how Lavender would want her own funeral, and Parvati staying how it should be sad... BECAUSE IT IS I'M SAD THIS IS SAD!

But your mentions of other funerals, of all the funerals Parvati would go to, how she wears the same black dress - that bit was especially sad, I think. That would be just awful! And the description of her grief as being simply empty - spot on!

The only issue I have with this short story is the last section of this chapter: I'm not sure I find her random babble believable, but then again, it is your interpretation of her character. I enjoyed the introduction of Seamus though.

Other than that, I'm really happy - and a bit sad - that I read this and listened to patronus-charm's recommendation. This is a stellar read. Well done and thank you for writing it!

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Review #34, by HarrietHopkirkFlung Salt: a single gesture

7th July 2014:
House Cup Review 2014

I like this lots and lots and lots! Very much so! A whole bunch! I've explained why I like Parvati and Lavender stories so much, but this is something else! The calm of the forest compared to the battle is beautifully described, and how Parvati remembers memories and lessons despite going through a big shock seems realistic.

A lot of people chose thestrals for their House Cup Event 3 entry, and I understand why: the mystery of them, what they represent etc - but I love what you've done here, how you've described the scene and Parvati's actions and reactions. It's testament to your writing that the image of the forest and thestral still lingers.

She overcomes the shock of seeing what must have been a pretty scary creature by being nice to it, and feeding it an apple. I think that speaks volumes for Parvati and her character, when she must be feeling so lost after the death of her closest friend and so many others.

Overall, this is beautifully written and I really enjoyed reading it, despite the melancholy tone. On to the next chapter!

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Review #35, by HarrietHopkirkFlung Salt: sargasso sea

7th July 2014:
House Cup Review 2014

This is oddly moving. I really like reading realistic fic about the giggly girly girls, Lavender and Parvati. They often get a very raw deal, especially because they (especially Lavender) get in the way of people's special ships and such. We've got to remember that they went through the war too, and are people in their own right - and it's fics like these that do them justice.

You have a really nice writing style - the flow, the rhythm, the sentence structure and word choice all really works. Your characterizations are nice, too. I can't help but laugh at Dumbledore being there, but then the tone is flipped on itself as Parvati drowns and the tone becomes darker and colder: The water churns unto itself, and slimy tendrils snake around to grasp her ankles, hauling her under. A feast, she thinks, in a split second of absurdity, hadnít there been a feast? before the world turns squid-ink black and the sea rushes in to muffle her ears. I particularly like this bit.

I love the optimistic ending - I can't help but root for Parvati! Overall, I really enjoyed this chapter and will move onto the next one!

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Review #36, by HarrietHopkirkAftermath: Blue Star

7th July 2014:
House Cup Review 2014

Blue! Blue blue blue! Blue metaphors! I love it! Lovely blue!

I'm always a little scared to use colour metaphors for fear of sounding flowery, but you have pulled it off spectacularly! I love the contrast between Victoire and Cara, the star and the sea, bright and beautiful. It's really well done.

You've described them differently, but also the same. They are both blue - a colour I automatically associate with Bill and Fleur, Tinworth, Shell Cottage etc - but different types of blue and how you portrayed them is beautiful. I can't help but compare to my own TedVic story, although everything in that is more violent and vicious (playing on werewolf and Veela blood and monsters etc.), I compared black and white. Nowhere near as good as this, though! I bow down to you!

AH YOUR CLOSING REMARKS I CANNOT TALK ABOUT BECAUSE THEY ARE REALLY GOOD AND I CRY AND I WEEP! SERIOUSLY I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY! SO SO GOOD!

Well done, well done, WELL DONE!

Author's Response: Hiya!

Thank you for this wonderful review. Unfortunately due to the nature of this fic, I am unable to properly respond to the amount of reviews I have without reliving some emotional moments. However please know that I have read this and it means so much to me that you left this wonderful review!

Lo :)


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Review #37, by HarrietHopkirkAftermath: One Year

7th July 2014:
House Cup Review 2014

I love how you repeat the same minute details, details that remind Teddy of Victoire: pancakes, the piano etc. and when you're grieving, you would dwell on the little things, which makes your depiction all the more realistic. They will stay with me too, after I finish reading. That's testament to your writing.

It's cute that the Wotters are binding together to cope with Victoire and everything that happened. It's also nice that Teddy is coming to the realization that his suffering will not change anything, that his discomfort is just an extra kind of pain, something that Victoire would not have wanted.

Itís been one year and I can still see you in this house. Itís been twelve months and I can still hear the memory of your voice. Itís been three hundred and sixty five days and I can still feel the ghost of your hand in mine. But now it is my time to start living again. You have such a way with words!

I can't help but cheer for Teddy - while obviously I'm sad for Victoire dying, Teddy moving on is very important and I say well done him. And well done to you too, for writing such a great story.

Author's Response: Hiya!

Thank you for this wonderful review. Unfortunately due to the nature of this fic, I am unable to properly respond to the amount of reviews I have without reliving some emotional moments. However please know that I have read this and it means so much to me that you left this wonderful review!

Lo :)


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Review #38, by HarrietHopkirkAftermath: Selfish Man

7th July 2014:
House Cup Review 2014

You are ridiculous! This is so good! Even though there is very little action in this chapter, you still manage to convey lots of thought and emotion in your writing, without it being too flowery or pretentious or overlong. Sad as the story content is, I really enjoy reading it.

Your use of flashbacks is subtle, and reminds us of how in love the two of them were and how happy. The theme park was so cute! The foreshadowing (?) was good as well - I suppose now that you were telling me something that I couldnít piece together until now.

Clearly, Teddy is thinking of the happier times, as Dominique instructed, but keeps finding faults in them, little hints that he focuses so he no longer deems them 'happy'. This is reflected in your superb writing - the tone becomes more bitter, and for the first time, Teddy's thoughts become darker and the imagery more vicious and violent. It works. Well done.

Next chapter!

Author's Response: Hiya!

Thank you for this wonderful review. Unfortunately due to the nature of this fic, I am unable to properly respond to the amount of reviews I have without reliving some emotional moments. However please know that I have read this and it means so much to me that you left this wonderful review!

Lo :)


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Review #39, by HarrietHopkirkAftermath: Mournful Song

7th July 2014:
House Cup Review 2014

I long to hear the sounds the piano made when your little fingers danced across the keys, the black and the white becoming less instrumental pieces and more extensions of your soul, singing to me once more. This writing is just beautiful, and it fits perfectly with the tone of the piece. Piano music has always been associated with the melancholy for me - I don't really know why, maybe it's the black and white aspect, the grandness of it. It's also an outlet for Teddy - that his grief and sadness can be turned into this music, something that still connect him to Victoire.

And his playing makes Dominique think that Victoire is back and u make me cry everytime.

I love how Teddy searches for pieces, aspects of Victoire everywhere. In Dominique, especially - obviously they will look similar being sisters, and your closing remarks address that. It is so clever that you think of these little things that succinctly sum up how difficult grief is for Teddy - how he can't have Dominique in the house because she reminds him for Victoire.

And poor Fleur! I can just imagine her baking, throwing herself into meaningless tasks so she can distract herself. This little details make the chapter.

And on I go! Well done, again.

Author's Response: Hiya!

Thank you for this wonderful review. Unfortunately due to the nature of this fic, I am unable to properly respond to the amount of reviews I have without reliving some emotional moments. However please know that I have read this and it means so much to me that you left this wonderful review!

Lo :)


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Review #40, by HarrietHopkirkAftermath: Empty House

7th July 2014:
House Cup Review 2014

Good lord! This is so sad - again that's a credit your writing. You write so simply, but it works so well. Teddy's actions and reactions are beautifully described, and they seem so tender and sad. They also describe Victoire and her life, to an extent, and again that's attributed to your writing that you can successfully describe someone who is no longer there with such delicacy.

Obviously the photographs attribute to this - they're personal memories of Victoire and Teddy - but your writing makes Teddy's reaction to them all the more heartbreaking. If I had lost a loved them, I would either spend hours trawling through their photos, or would avoid them completely. His reaction is completely believable and I commend you for that.

I don't know if I want to carry on! This story seems so sad! I cry. I weep. The little baby room and Teddy alone it in - you create these images which will no doubt stay with me.

Also - just a little typo 'scared' where I think it should be 'scarred'.

Your writing is worth it - see you at the next chapter!

Author's Response: Hiya!

Thank you for this wonderful review. Unfortunately due to the nature of this fic, I am unable to properly respond to the amount of reviews I have without reliving some emotional moments. However please know that I have read this and it means so much to me that you left this wonderful review!

Lo :)


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Review #41, by HarrietHopkirkAftermath: All The Things

7th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hello there! I'm a sucker for Teddy and Victoire stories, having written one of my own, and it turns out I'm a sucker for this particular TedVic already, after only one chapter. Seriously, this almost reads like poetry - the repetition, the words, everything.

The rhythm and the tone work together, and I like how you've set up the relationship between the two of them. They love each other, definitely, but they are also best friends (that's my interpretation, but then again I might also be wrong, as it's only one chapter in!). That's credit to the concise nature of your writing, how you can get emotions and feelings across naturally, without making grand, sweeping statements that may seem out of place.

And then the ending! Wasn't expecting that particularly, but was definitely expecting a twist! You didn't even give us any warning, as the tone and the anecdotal snippets remained relatively positive and loving even towards the end. BUT THEN IT CHANGED AND HE (TEDDY?) SOUNDED BITTER!

I'm excited to read on.

Author's Response: Hiya!

Thank you for this wonderful review. Unfortunately due to the nature of this fic, I am unable to properly respond to the amount of reviews I have without reliving some emotional moments. However please know that I have read this and it means so much to me that you left this wonderful review!

Lo :)


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Review #42, by HarrietHopkirkKnight Takes Queen: Rook

5th July 2014:
I really like this! And it's in support of Ravenclaw, who are awesome, obviously and ABOUT Ravenclaw, who is awesome, obviously... so there's no way I wouldn't stop to read this.

Your writing style is marvelous! I really enjoyed reading this one-shot. You manage to blend description, imagery, emotive stuff and action seamlessly - that description of wind, pure class! I loved how the story started, with the rosary beads - I always want to write more about how wizards react to religion and such.

And the moment between Rowena and the merman - so touching! So moving! And your writing complimented the tone of the piece really well: sad at the beginning, where Rowena is a bit lost, then more hopeful, as she relishes in the presence of the merman, of meeting new things, new knowledge etc. I don't know though, that's my own interpretation.

Overall - super good. Favoriting!

I was wondering whether chapters will follow this?! You've labelled it 'I: Rook'...

Author's Response: Hey there - thanks so much for stopping by! I was totally not expecting this at all and it was so lovely to get, so thank you! :)

And yes Ravenclaw are awesome, and Ravenclaw is awesome... you guys were amazing during the HC! :wub:

Gah, thank you so much! I originally meant for it to be a 500 word thing, but it kinda grew too big for that and there was no way I could edit it down - so I'm glad you liked it! Religion and wizards - gosh, yes, that's something I've always wanted to explore a little more, or at least include a bit more than I have done in other stuff. So yes, with the time period and all I just had to include a bit in here :P

Haha, no it's good - I kinda wanted it to be more hopeful and kind of a meeting-of-minds thing with the merman, where she sort of realises that she's not totally alone and starts a new friendship and a new chapter of her life. I always thought of it more as the potential of new knowledge, but that's just being really picky :P

Thank you so so much for the review and the favourite - it's so so amazing to get and gah, just really made my day! :) Thank you!

Aph xx

p.s. ooh, sorry, yeah, there will be two more chapters, to go with the HC themes ;)


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Review #43, by HarrietHopkirkBeautifully Destroyed: Beautifully Destroyed

5th July 2014:
I really enjoyed this! I think your writing style is much better suited to this kind of writing - where I enjoyed your Event 3 entry, I generally prefer third person stories (personal preference obv).

And Regulus! I should really read more fanfic about him because there is literally no canon stuff about him BUT HE PLAYS SUCH AN IMPORTANT ROLE! So I'm glad I get to read and review this, and I love how you've explored his backstory.

I like the lack of dialogue - I think it works with the tone of the story and how it plays on flashback and memory. Sometimes dialogue (if it's overdone) can become redundant.

Aaah you write such sad stories! I both love it and hate it ;) but Regulus' slow decline and the girl's reaction was pretty heartbreaking to read. And really well written.

I really enjoyed it!

Author's Response: Thankyou! I do believe that I am suited to horror/dark so I tend to write a lot of that. I know, my stories are sad, after I complete Lumos I'm planning on a much more upbeat and humorous next-gen novella.

I'm glad you liked the lack of dialogue- I've had reviews where people wanted some.

Thanks again for reviewing!


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Review #44, by HarrietHopkirkUnicorn: Unicorn

4th July 2014:
Hello! I'm here for the Ravenclaw review tag! And I really liked this - I'm trying (very slowly) to get through a few more Event 3 stories. This is very different - unicorns and their magic aren't really explored in the books aside from in the Philosopher's Stone, so I like this!

Just watch out re syntax: a little more varied sentence structure would make the flow of this story much better, give it a bit more rhythm. Also, you tend to make grand sweeping statements about emotions and stuff, which are very descriptive and written well, but would probably better suit a third person POV. I find actions speak louder than words in first person POV, but that's just me :)

It's pretty sad: not only that the narrator has to resort to such desperate measures, but that there are people out there, in your storyverse, that relish this kind of cruelty and don't appreciate the unicorns' magic or beauty. The contrast between the characters is really well executed.

I would also watch your formatting - for me, it can really affect the flow of a story, but obviously it's your preference. Overall, I enjoyed this :)

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! There was a problem with the formatting, HPFF for some reason told me that I had to have two returns between each paragraph.

It probably would have been better in third person, but I needed some variety in my writing.

I wanted to explore more unicorns, you're right, they aren't really that big in the HP series and I haven't read anything that has unicorns in it.

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #45, by HarrietHopkirkThe Passing: glory days, lifetimes, friendships past

28th June 2014:
Reblog if you cry every time. Good Lord, Celeste, what have you done? This is so good and so sad and I weep.

Author's Response: Aww thank you for reading, Hattie :)

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Review #46, by HarrietHopkirkDevilish Delights, Wicked Ends: X. Trust

27th June 2014:
OMG THEY ARE BOTH SO COOL I CAN'T

Author's Response: NEITHER CAN I AND SOMEHOW I WROTE A WHOLE NOVEL OF THIS??? Love ya bb

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Review #47, by HarrietHopkirkEvent Three: Irreparable: Irreparable

27th June 2014:
Aaaw, I love this! It's very well written and concise, very well done!

Author's Response: Hey!

Thank you so much for reading and leaving such a lovely review! Really brought a smile to my face :)

- Charlotte


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Review #48, by HarrietHopkirkEvent 3 ~~ Sunlight, Moonlight: Sunlight, Moonlight

27th June 2014:
Aaww, I really like this! I wrote about Ollivander too, for my House Cup entry, but for a different prompt - and I really enjoyed this! Your descriptions are spot on :)

Author's Response: Thank you :)

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Review #49, by HarrietHopkirkViolet Hill: an iridescent colour.

27th June 2014:
BACK IN THE MURKY DEPTHS OF THE PAST WHEN MOTHER'S DEATH WAS STILL A RAW CUT, SHE WAS THE WHO ALLOWED THE LIGHT TO SEEP IN. BEAM BY BEAM, SHE WIPED AWAY YOUR MELANCHOLIC EDGES.

Oh good Lord, that's good.

Overall, I enjoyed this rather morbid SSC immensely. Well done!

Author's Response: Thank you and thank you, I was worried no would and just worry about my mental state given all the death references so it means a lot to me that you did :D

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Review #50, by HarrietHopkirkViolet Hill: the land of delusions.

27th June 2014:
Eee I just love the tone you've got going down! Again your imagery is just fab - the beginning especially with the black swirls and the wind's tongue (sounds a bit weird out of context, ha).

Draco is so wise, man. Moving on!

Author's Response: Haha, I know who imagined Draco to be the next Dumbledore after everything? Eee, just thank you so much for this fab review :D

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