I love, love, love this! Love me some Remus and Tonks - Rowling wrote them so beautifully in the book and I think they were so ignored in the films (maybe because the actress who played Tonks really frustrated me!) that I jump on board any sort of Remus/Tonks fic! I love the parallel you've drawn to Beauty and the Beast! ♥

Your characterisations are pretty spot on. I love your take on Moody, Tonks and Remus, and you seem to have a really tight grasp on Snape and Dumbledore! Aah, I love how you've written all of them! So good!

I love your writing style too! Just watch out for having /too/ much action, remember to have some thoughts and emotions in their for a bit of contrast. I would also try and vary your sentence structure a little bit: you've got a lot of sentences that are short, and they work really well at moments when impact is needed. Try varying it a bit: use colons, semi-colons, commas, hyphens, whatever. It'll make it flow better too.

Other than that, I really love what you've done here! Some great stuff! Sweet and touching and funny in places! Well done! ♥

Author's Response: Hello :)

Ah! Me too! It's one of my major let downs about the film is how they cut out Tonks and Remus! And completely about Teddy! :P Oh thank you xD I came up with this idea whilst I was at a Christmas pantomine of... Beauty and the Beast ;) so I'm glad it's coming across :P

Hmm okay - I get what you mean! I'll have slower parts in the coming chapters - hopefully the next one will be up soon ;) Haha! I normally get told I write too long so have been deliberately writing in short sentances :P I'll try and find a middle ground soon! :)

Thanks so much for the review ♥

Keira :)



 Report Review

JOLOO YOU'RE MY FAVOURITE! Oh my dayz, I really, really love this. You made bad story lines good and everything was wonderful and beautiful and made me squee and fangirl with the best of them.

Tea, bonsai, orbs. Congratulations on this.

Author's Response: hatE it is myoot-you-elle. Ta, ta, ta lovely! I've wanted to write Dramione for so long but, you know, only in the parody way. ♥

 Report Review

Ughhh... you're my favourite. Cake all round.

Author's Response: ♥ all the cakes.

 Report Review

Love me a Rosmerta story. Really, I see so little of her around HPFF that I leap at the chance to read something about her. I feel she got a pretty raw deal after being Imperius-ed in the Half Blood Prince, but I genuinely like her character and think she could be a good plot device - she knows everyone in Hogsmeade.

In this, I love your characterisation and description of her. I love how she knows everyone and knows what dark times lie ahead and what's coming etc and she knows it's easier when everyone is together and having a good time! I suggest having a few more thoughts and emotions (maybe she could relate to some of her customers over losing someone?) just to develop her character a little more. I liked her crying because she was lonely, but I think it came a little out of the blue (I thought the main angst in the story came from the Death Eaters) so I would either build that up before and after, or simply take it out.

I love Hagrid in this! You've got his dialogue down to a tee. Well done! And I loved your depictions of all the Marauders! ♥

Overall, I really, really like this one-shot! Congratulations!

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for an awesome review! Gald you enjoyed the story. Yeah, the main thing I have to figure out is whether it's her loneliness or the Death Eaters that are the problem...I want to kind of include them both somehow but so they correlate :)

Aw thanks

 Report Review

I like this too! Man, you've got a good writing style. I really enjoyed reading this. You're balance between description and emotions and characterisation is just awesome, and seeing how you haven't used dialogue to convey backstory or emotion, it's all executed really well.

I really love this line: "Although it was but a small thread in the fabric of his life, if it was removed, the whole of him will unravel." It really reminds me of a line from Never Let Me Go. I love your characterisation of Sirius as well - it's so different to how we usually see him (the casanova, the lover boy, the good looking one). I also love Win! She's really awesome.

The descriptions of the wedding were really, really pretty and I could picture it all. AND NOOO WIN! WHAT! Ergh I hate Death Eaters! The actions and emotions or Sirius in that moment were all beautifully well done... so, well done. :D

Overall, congratulations on writing a splendid one-shot!

Author's Response: Thank you! I like to think of this one as one my better stories so to hear/read all your lovely words...makes me squee in side :) I definitely was working on descriptions and such so I'm glad you were able to enjoy it!

 Report Review

I love, love, love this! Really, you write darkness and angst and all that sort of thing so beautifully. It was really good. Your use of imagery and metaphors and prettiness is awesome, and it flows and works really well together. I can really visualise everything: Bella, Voldy, their every interaction, the setting. The dialogue is perfectly in character and works well with the style of the one-shot. I also love your use of present tense - again, it works really well with the style you are going for.

And O.O! Draco is Bella and Lucius' child! That is a twist. Usually, AU stuff like that makes me cringe a little, but this was very well executed, so I really liked it. However, this is where I think you strayed, in terms of dialogue: "You said that you were protected!" works well, but I just think it sounds a little too modern, but I can't think of any alternatives right now... maybe something like 'you said we were safe', but that could be too ambiguous.

The last two sections were really well written - I lurrrve your descriptions of Azkaban and the Dementors as well as Bella's emotions and feelings. You've really got her spot on. Congratulations on writing a really rather spiffing one shot. ♥

Author's Response: Wow thanks! I'm really flattered by all your kind words.

Just as a clarification point, it wasn't Bella and Voldy...it was Bella and Lucius with Bella just fantasizing (as she is wont to do). I'm glad that the AU didn't make you cringe. I couldn't think of another way of saying "protected" other than that--just thinking with a spell or something.

Thank you for this!

 Report Review

OH MY GOD ASDFGHJKL; THIS IS REALLY VERY PRETTY!

The opening is very, very beautiful - obviously Lily and Petunia are named after flowers, and you have used the metaphor so wonderfully. A thick waxen surface and a delicate frill of a petal – always, there were differences. One from seeds and the other from a bulb – maybe their differences had always been encompassing. (Please note that this review will probably just contain squees and flails and a lot of quoting :D)

The section about the roses was also really pretty as it shows Petunia's dislike for the extraordinary: her dislike of the 'sparkling' roses and the fairytale colours of the others - fairytales, magic, la de dah. I also love your use of present tense: it's my favourite tense to write and you do it so well! Gahhh...

Basically, this is awesome. The descriptions and the imagery and the emotions and the characters are all there and it's a wonderful pile of luscious writing. Really, you've done so well.

Congratzzz! 10/10

Author's Response: In my mind I'd like, totally gone way overboard with the whole Lily/Petunia lets-talk-about-flowers again, so I'm glad you thought it was artsy and pretty rather than just excessive. It's good to know :)

Eee! Thank you so much for this lovely squee-flail-y reviewy type things. Ah, thank you so much. This review, in itself, is very pretty.

Thanks :D

-AC

 Report Review

This is completely and utterly insane. No really, it's mental. But I love it! It's so funny! I love the character you've given to the sock - I like the tone, the humour, the dialogue - it's all completely unique! I loved the plot with the pillow and everything. Watch out for formatting though - it can sometimes disrupt the flow and sense of the story if it's a bit off, and I would definitely invest in beta, but other than that, I really, really liked it!

Well done!

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much xD It does show worrying things about my crazy imagination, I guess. I probably will get a beta...if anyone's brave enough... :P
Thanks,
LWG x

 Report Review

Firstly, your summary is awesome spot on. Complete with ship in italics with witty little brackets. Congrats.

And then this:

'I’m also kind of socially awkward. I’m the sort of wallflower that’s been on the wall so long that if you wanted to rip me off, you’d end up tearing the whole house down. I basically have my roots in the foundations of social awkwardness. I’m like the Japanese knotweed of awkward.'

And this:

'Like, megazoomified on toast.'

FLORA IS SO MEGA KOOKY AND ADORABLE AND QUIRKY AT THE SAME TIME.

Thirdly:

Little did I know that my very destiny was in that trolley.

Trolololololololololololololley. I wub eee, Julieargh.

OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU ALMOST AS MUCH AS THIS REVIEW IS FILLED WITH SUBSTANCE AND DEEP, MEANINGFUL CRITICISM (which isn't very much).

JESTING LOL.

This is awesome.

Author's Response: My summary is, like, so witty and original. Glad you like it hatE. Really glad. Might even give you an ampersand hearts semi-colon at the end of this review if I feel like it.

She is totally the ultimate quirky OC. Like, so quirky, she's a total stereotype, because being hipster got mainstream so now it's hipster to be mainstream. (PARADOX, QUICK, ARTHUR, GIVE ME THE KICK)

OMIDAIZ U R LYK, TOTES LITERAREE KRITIK.

Aye wub ew two, hattay. Ampersand hearts semi-colon for you.

 Report Review

Aah, I love and adore it.

Author's Response: Ahhh Hattie HAYYY ♥ fank you.

 Report Review

OH HEY ASHICKLES. (unintentional combination of pickles and Ash) I told you I'd finally get around to reading this beaut et voila. Please be aware of stupidly ineloquent troll speak and ridiculous amounts of hearts (♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ etc.) and caps. So much caps lock.

WELL SO I'M BASICALLY IN LESBIANS WITH LANEY. I love that she is ORIGINAL and all that. She's not some crazy, kooky outcast who is invisible but can somehow be noticed by the hottest guy in da storeh. She's got a personality - which is totallih key, bee tea dubz - and I love the way she talks to the reader directly. Usually it makes me cringe a little, but the way you've written it Ash has restored my faith in it.

EEE WELL DONE ASH. ON I GO. ♥

 Report Review

I'M GOING TO BE SO COHERENT AND ELOQUENT AND EVERYTHING AND GENERALLY MAKE WONDERFULLY COMMENTS ABOUT THE BEAUTY OF THE LANGUAGE AND THE IMAGERY AND SYMBOLISM BUT LOL REALLY I'M GOING TO COPY AND PASTE LOADS AND LOADS OF QUOTES BECAUSE YOUR WRITING IS SO DREAMY...

Oh my days, Melissaaa... dis so gd mun.

Obviously the dream is totally and wonderfully gorgeous. It's so... Luna, and you've got her wonderfully canon and so beautifully characterised that it's just so pretteh n luvlih. I love the reference to her old room (it must be so long since she's been there) and her friends - as much I love Rolf and Barney, I'd love to see some more interaction with Harry n da gang.

Luvin on da paintbrush metaphor ting (it fits with the picture): The artist responsible for this world had not given her a form, only essence. She wished for the paint brush to grant her a body, legs to move with, hands to feel with, but It did not appease her.

The clouds and stars had joined in alongside the couples, dancing as only they could. ♥ ♥

SHE TINK DUST IS PRETTEH. DA RYTING PRETTEH 2.

"You know, I had a dream that was that same colour as your eyes. It made me think, it'd make a very nice shade for a water colour."

"Barney better toughen up," Luna skipped ahead of the pair, "This is an adventure after all."

THEY ARE IN EACH OTHER'S DRAMS?

DRAMCEPTION.

BUT IF IT'S MEANT TO BE DREAMS.

THEN INCEPTION.

EEE WELL GOOD MELISSA. REALLY. TRULY.

Author's Response: Hattie. ♥♥♥

DREAMCEPTION. BRM.

Thank you so much for your review. After going so long without writing this -hangs head in shame- I was a little leary about whether or not it captured the same style as previous chapters have. I am happy with the outcome though, and so happy that I was finally able to update.

ahaha. I had hoped that the Barney line wasn't too out of character for her... but it was cute-funnay in my head so I had to throw it in there. You must know that I have no real plans for this fic... each chapter sort of just happens as it may, so whether or not we see harry and the gang is unknown to me.

Thank you so much for reviewing... and I'll have you know, Chapter images are on their way. Complete with Barney, Rolf, and Luna. ♥

Love and hugs,
Melissa

 Report Review

A timetravel story? Interesting! I'm usually quite wary of them, what with half-werewolf girls with millions of colours in their hair falling through time and hooking with Sirius and Draco and Scorpius and everyone. But Harry? Good shout.

I like how you set it up, and your writing has promise. I really like this: He spat out every syllable of Harry’s name as if they might have contaminated his tongue had they stayed there any longer. Just watch out for 'eggplant' - Brits call them aubergines, so if you want to be in keeping with JKR, then... there you go :)

The second half was pretty cool! I liked the mention of Sirius and Harry's thought process as he tried to determine where he was. Watch out for using 'Muggle' references, like the whole Alice thing, as sometimes it can mess about with flow and characterisation and stuff. I'm going to keep reading - I'm wondering what the significance of October 30, 1976 is!

Well done! Very good opening chapter! ♥

Author's Response: Thank you for the lovely review! :)

I appreciate all the helpful suggestions, and thank you for mentioning the 'eggplant' thing... I'll go ahead and change it. As an American, any Britishisms that can be corrected are very helpful! ^^

I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far, and hopefully it won't disappoint. xD

~Khanh

 Report Review

Aah! Oh my god! Remus and Tonks! J'adore! I barely see any fics with them - I guess people are a little put off by the age difference, but come on, they did produce fanfic's most eligible bachelor. Gaaaw, wub 'em.

I really love your style and I love the ship so naturally I love the story. Your imagery and description are superbly executed, and you've chosen such a heartbreaking moment that some writers would ruin but I think you've done justice. (Also... Remus wears tweed? Love!)

The moment where she starts punching him really made me sad. Tonks is a brave and determined young woman, so it's obvious to believe that she wouldn't go down without a fight. The slap worked perfectly, I think. Tiny women hitting taller, stronger men when their angry works all the time in television and sometimes serves as a comedic element, but the slap brought everything back and made it more serious - and serious is just what you need in a story this angsty and dark. Well done.

His shallow breaths are the only sound in the room. The tears that the rage and anger had been holding at bay, flow freely now. Her hair still covers her face so he can't see. His broken whisper fills the empty space, the space that she's tried to fill with love and passion and happy thoughts, but has failed, so miserably failed.

Aaah, I love this! ♥

Really well done. I loved the style, the description, the dialogue. Everything worked and flowed perfectly. Congratz.

Author's Response: Are you talking about Teddy? You naughty person you :P

Thanks for complimenting my style! I didn't even realize I had one until I kept writing...but I guess that's how you develop a style.

I love Remus and Tonks. I wish we had had more of them in the book! And because their story seemed to be so insignificant I love writing stories about them to expand on their characters.

Thank you!!! ::hug::

 Report Review

LILY LILY LIIILY LOVELY LILY!

That's enough.

AAAH OH MY GOD I LOVE YOUR WRITING LOTS AND LOTS AND FOREVER ALWAYS. Really, you've got such great style and a lovely prose. Your descriptions - The air was honey-coloured; the swirling kind of air of late August. The yellow sky looking like molten gold over the chartreuse hills. A white butterfly floated through the open window, landing lightly on a jar of orange marmalade.. HNGGG! I feel like Annie meeting a Korean popstar or Janechel meeting R Patz. You're that good.

I really love the relationship that Hermione and Hugo have - of cours eI already love Hugo from Adventure, but to see his mother's perception of him is just lovely. I really enjoyed seeing this. I love the homely images - the warmth and the love and everything. I generally love it lots and lots, as I do you, Lily.

Well done. Have some hearts. ♥ ♥ ♥

Author's Response: HATTIE HATTAYYY!!

Baw you flatter me shamelessly :P Annie would probably keel over and lie on the ground and actually probably the same with Janechel. THIS IS THE HIGHEST OF HIGH COMPLIMENTS AND I AM NOT SURE I CAN ACCEPT IT BUT THANK YOUUU (h)

Imagery was obviously huge in this piece and I'm glad it was effective! It seems I can't be satisfied with putting adventure to rest and I had to write this to satiate a little curiosity on my own part :)

YOU HAVE SOME HEARTS, TOO!! (h) (h) (h) -you may have to use your imagination here-



 Report Review

AAAW GENIE, GENIE! U SO AMERICAN! 'With the floo at Jeremy's home being fixed, Oliver took the public one located three blocks away'. WE DON'T HAVE NO BLOCKS HERE! :)

kjdsfhlflkjhfdkjhg SUMMAH RONAH! LUV ITTT ♥


No, really, well done. I love your Oliver.

Author's Response: AUGH YOU DON'T? D: SIGH, THE MORE I KNOW~

Oliver makes it tough to not love him ♥

 Report Review

Aaw, the last chapter! And beautifully written, as always. I loved the interaction between the Baron and Godric and Helena – really well written and intense. I could really visualize all of it, so well done! Once again, I love how you use description and all that other stuff. And once again, I’m really eloquent and coherent.

I loved the ending, because it is open-ended, seeing as she goes off to Albania, hides the Diadem and then the Baron kills her. I was wondering whether you’d go that far, but I think it works – that you have just captured just the perfect moment, especially with Godric.

I now love Founders fics.

Without the diadem, her mother was nothing. Helena possessed magic and intelligence beyond what her mother could conjure. It was hers and hers alone. Wit had set her free; knowledge would let her soar.

She’s so crazy. I love it though!

I love this fic! And HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Author's Response: EEE THANK YOU SO MUCH. Your reviews are so awesome. Thank you so much for the wonderful review and also for the Dobby nomination!

 Report Review

I love, love, love your characterisation of Helena. She's so cool and a little evil and ambitious and awesome. She has her flaws and it makes her all the more realistic - it's strange how connected I can feel towards someone who is fictional and also lived so long ago.

And happy birthday, congratulations!

And your writing is just spectacular, as always, your word choice and descriptions are just awzum. I also love Rowena – I always pictured her as this cold and aloof lady, shrewd and beautiful, and her dealings with her husband’s death and Helena just confirm that. I suppose she would be affected by his death… but I can partly blame her for Helena’s cray cray.

HOMG THE BARON! I WUB! He’s so cool and intense and disgusting at the same time.

I LOVE THIS STORY! And the last line.

Author's Response: thanks so much :)

 Report Review

EEE! BIRTHDAY FELICITATIONS!

AND WE CONTINUE ON!

I'm really getting this rather sly, manipulative side to Helena - she is clever, like her mother, but she uses it unwisely. She can read people and their reactions, whereas her mother reads books and whatever. WHY DA HELL IS SHE PRETENDING TO BE HER MUM? DAT WEIRD AND CRAZY.

The description of Godric... hnggg lnggg gaah.

I love, love, lurve the dialogue. It's so old school and lovely and cool. Eee, I'm so coherent.

THE BEGINNING OF HOGWARTS. AND HE'S GOT DA WRONG RAVENCLAW! Oh my, I love this story! I read very, very little Founders era stuff, so the characters are totally new to me - but this seems so canon! EEE!!! WELL DONE! ♥

 Report Review

Aaah! Marina! Happy birthday to you.

You know how much I love your writing. Like... so much. It's like totally fetch and awesome. Let's hope you don't lose all your talent just because you're super old and that.

I love how your description flows - it works so well that I can picture everything: Helena's father's study, Helena's emotions, her relationship with Rowena. You've really got a way with words. The balance between over describing and under describing is perfect, and you're able to give the reader the perfect amount of backstory - enough to allow mystery but give us enough to actually understand what is going on.

I love your characterisation of Helena - it is really perfect! How she switched from giving knowledge to simply teaching her daughter to sew and stuff really sets up for Helena's estrangement from her mother. Helena wants to rebel - hence the stealing of her mother's diadem. Your dialogue is also spectacular and really in character – really believable and naturalistic!

GAAAH I LOVE THE CHARACTERISATIONS AND THE WORDS AND EVERYTHING!

EEE MARINA!!!

 Report Review

Eee, eee, eee! GU883H! Well done fo da finish! Congratz and all that! ♥ I really love that you didn't actually show whether Cillian actually made it up the stairs, but I like to think he had. And in the end, Isla started going out with someone else. And Waverly read Heart of Darkness, and James said she didn't have to read anything for him! Gah, gah, gah! I wub him and them and all of it. ♥ A lovely, little fic. Well done! ♥

 Report Review

How big that squid in the lake really was. It must be pretteh big, I'm guessing, and I'd be totally terrified if I ever sw it. Dennis Creevey must be made of pretty strong stuff. Eee Albus! Eee Izzy! I love the ending - I love Javerly, so it's all very exciting. ♥ for my lack of eloquence and ♥ fo dis storeh.

 Report Review

He had wonderful biceps up those rolled up sleeves, obvi.

Wonderful as always. ♥

Author's Response: I didn't even describe them and you knew those sleeves were rolled up. You know me too well, Hattie ♥

 Report Review

Oh hello Marina! Just stopping by for the Ravenclaw review exchange! :D

AAAHHH OMG I LOVE YOUR WRITING! It's so flawless. You've got great imagery and description and your ideas are really beautifully presented. Nothing is wasted, everything is beautiful and lovely and gaaah... I love it! ♥

I almost never see Aberforth fics - you only really noticed him until the last book, and his life was so sad with all his family dying and him possibly killing his sister and being overshadowed by his bro - but here he is portrayed so well, so broken, that it's realistic. I love your descritions of Ariana's ghostly world - with the mist and the silence and the colours. The description of Ariana at the beginning was really haunting, really ghostly. There is nothing to be seen for miles and miles; emptiness has replaced everything she has ever known. She is alone, but she is used to the solitude, years of shelter from the world have left her numb to isolation. Silence is her friend. Hnggg...

Just wondering, are we supposed to know who the friend is? For a second, I thought Minerva, but I don't know... Perhaps Kendra?

It's a beautiful moment, I think, when Aberforth starts to play. The dialogue and action make it all really moving. The whole metaphor of the piano and her emotions is really, really beautiful and it works so well. The fact she is only on 'earth' to witness the moment is truly sad. I love it. She's almost selfish about how she doesn't want Aberforth to forget her.

And gaaah! That last line! Kudos.

 Report Review

Flaily flaily flail etc etc. (but not that story). EEE I LOVE TEDDY AND HIS PIPE AND SCORPIUS AND HIS BLAZER! I really, really love your characters, Gina. Dey awzum. Your writing style is alright too, I suppose, seeing as it keeps me coming back fo moar!! EEE LOTS OF LOVE AND HEARTZ. ♥ ♥

Author's Response: ACCESSORIES MAKE THE MAN, TEDDY KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING.

HEARTSSS ♥ ♥ ♥

 Report Review