Reading Reviews From Member: HarrietHopkirk
416 Reviews Found

Review #1, by HarrietHopkirkA Zinnia By Any Other Name: Love and Only Love and Not Even True Love

3rd April 2016:
I take it back (maybe). He liiikes her, he's got a cruuush, he lurrrves her! Adorable.

As ever, I'm floored by your characterisation and development. We met these characters only three chapters back and we've already got such a good picture of them, and a nice look into their backstories as well. Beaut. Also, your dialogue! That last scene about the origami eagles and their different views of love was amazing. And the forehead kiss! *Swoons*

Update soon!

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Review #2, by HarrietHopkirkA Zinnia By Any Other Name: All Fluff All the Time

3rd April 2016:
I assume that Zinnia will grow to feel the same? Maybe?

Also just a teeny weeny bit sceptical of James - was he actually telling the truth? Does he actually like like her? Or is it all a game? Or maybe I'm just used to glossy evil fic.

I like Jess! She's ace. On I go!

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Review #3, by HarrietHopkirkA Zinnia By Any Other Name: The Pretense of Being a Gentle-Wizard

3rd April 2016:
How you do the prewritten thing? So impressive!

And I'm obviously already enjoying this, so onto the next chapter!

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Review #4, by HarrietHopkirketc. etc. (and life goes on): Appy Ever After

28th March 2016:
Lots of things I enjoyed: dream dementor Appy, parka-adorned Pickett, flower crowns, and 'poor top-heavy thing'. Looking forward to the epilogue!

Author's Response: I can totes see these in an aesthetic post, "poor top heavy thing" in hipster font and all.

♥ thank!

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Review #5, by HarrietHopkirkA Story for Bedtime: Up the stairs to Bedfordshire

17th January 2016:
UP THE STAIRS TO BEDFORDSHIRE! What a throwback! This is an adorable little story and I really enjoyed it, so thank you, first off! I love the relationship you've portrayed between Ron and Rose, as well as more subtle hints to the relationships between the rest of the family. Ron and Hermione are the AOTP (Actual One True Pairing, as opposed to my other favourite ships) and so I loved this.

Rose is so cute! I love that she shows so much interest in so many things - being a Princess (a staple of every girl's childhood) but also her hippogriff and broomstick sheets and dragons. So cute. Just one point about mechanics: there's a couple of typos and missing punctuation - and I feel Sir Harry of the Lightning Mark should be capitalised a la the Pink Princess Dress Saga. Nothing a quick beta-ing wouldn't heal, though! And it didn't detract from reading or the plot or the characters, so don't worry about it too much.

I love the story Ron tells! So cute and funny! Obviously the plot of Harry Potter lends itself so well to fairy tales, and I imagine after the Second Wizarding War and the defeat of Voldy that lots of parents started telling these stories to their children, what with the obvious morals of good vs. evil, friendship and bravery etc. etc. It's lovely how you translated it into story time mode, as well. And I can I just reiterate how cute Ron and Rose are?


Well done!


Author's Response: Thanks for the review, I'm glad that the BvB threw you my way and into the path of this 'adorable' little story. 'Adorable' certainly was what I was aiming for when I wrote this, so I'm glad that's what you thought of it.

I really like the pairing of Ron and Hermione. I know that JKR has said that she now thinks otherwise, but I can't help but think that it is a case, on her part, of wishful revisionisim. Yes I know that they are two very different people, but I think that that is why their marriage would work so well.

We know from Pottermore that Harry becomes an Auror and Hermione is in the MLE, so we know that both of them have the sort of futures that they wanted. Ron was a different fish. I know in the books that he wanted to become an Auror too - and he did for a time at least according to Pottermore - but for him, in the books, it was all about family. He knows that Hermione is the better at magic and that she has always been driven, so to me it would be logical that he would be the one to sacrifice his career for hers.

Yes, this story was unbetaed and I should go back and beat out those annoying typos.

I did cheat a bit with this story, as I have said before. I did crib a lot of it from my own relationship with my daughter. I made her a castle bed and painted her a dragon to go on the wall behind it. I was forever flying her around her room. And I always made up fairy tales to tell her as she was going to sleep. So I just translated the whole to Ron and adapted it for changes in setting and character.

So once again I'm glad that you thought everything was cute - I did want this to be charming after all.


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Review #6, by HarrietHopkirkWords Unspoken: Words Unspoken

14th January 2016:
Hi there! Here for the Blue vs Bronze review tag.

I love Rose and Scorpius! One of my very first OTPs along with Ron and Hermione, and I can't believe I haven't read any in so long! So when I saw this on your author page, I automatically went for it! But upon reading, I realised that you could almost fit anyone into this scene, and it would still work.

I really like the vagueness of it - 500 words doesn't really allow you to develop much backstory or real character development, but I like that this one-shot seems like a snapshot, just a little snippet of Scorpius' life. It's very subtle.

I love your descriptions as well! You manage to expertly illustrate the scene despite being limited on words. This is a genuinely really sad piece - I assume Rose told him that she was dying? - and you manage to execute Scorpius' feelings, as well as his surroundings, really well.

Beautiful! Well done!


Author's Response: Hi. Thanks for your review. What I like about this review is how you read it from Scorpius' point of view, while many others read it from Rose's point of view. It works in with the vagueness of the piece that everyone reads it a different way. I'm really glad you liked, even though it is quite a sad tale.


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Review #7, by HarrietHopkirkIgnotia: Ignotia

4th January 2016:
I LOVE BATHILDA! WRITING ABOUT WOMEN'S MAGICAL HISTORY HUZZAAAH! BEING IN LOVE WITH OTHER WOMEN! THIS IS BEAUTIFUL! Her narrative is so wonderfully executed! I also love the descriptions and characterisations of all the secondary characters, especially Gellert, and your description of Kendra was particularly on point. I also adore her relationship with Livia, how heartbreaking but simultaneously lovely.

You've obviously got a good grasp on spelling, grammar, etc. Just one typo - 'publisher's' instead of 'publishor's' at the very beginning of the story. I am so impressed by the tone of the fic; the beginning starts off very textbook (a la History of Magic), but as you get into the anecdotes and the personal stories, it seems to soften, but is still very readable. It also changes in the various letters! Very well done.

I may just need a little bit more info when it comes to the section describing Gellert's birth - is Maxi her brother, and Gellert his illegitimate son? The way Maxi is spelt made it seem like a girl's name so I got a bit confused.

I love how the dialogue fits the time and setting of each section; the first conversation with Elladora was perfect in the way it portrayed their upbringing and the social etiquette of the time, which can be said for all the sections. The same with Bathilda and Kendra's conversation, and the tension filled dialogue between Livia and Bathilda. You have such a knack for it.

Overall, a really really beautiful story. Favourited. I LOVE IT!


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Review #8, by HarrietHopkirkA Binary System: je suis vide

2nd January 2016:
Remus! Bless his little cotton socks! Every time I re-read/listen to the audiobook of Prisoner of Azkaban, I think about how lonely he must have felt with James and apparently Peter dead, as well as how angry he would have been at Sirius. And your spin, the fact that he was in love with him, must have made it so much worse!

But this gives us more of an insight into their relationship before the events of the First Wizarding War, and it's really nice to be able to read about how happy they were, and their friendship group, and their blossoming romance. The mechanics of this one-shot are spot-on; you're obviously good at spelling and grammar. I would just put some of the 'flashback' sentences e.g. the questions at the beginning into italics, to help the reader with context etc. But obv up to you!

I really appreciated the pace of the story, how gently everything moved along - you managed to cover decades within this story, and it didn't feel to rushed or too slow. I wasn't confused by the structure or felt that any part of it was too stagnant. I also enjoyed your quiet, unassuming characterisation of Remus, and all his dialogue and interactions with his friends and Sirius, of course.

Remus' point of view, and the use of second person, as if he were talking to Sirius was used effectively as well. I would have loved to see the story go further - maybe another chapter that deals with Remus' POV of PoA and his Order work, maybe even Sirius' death (I may regret this if you make me cry!)

Overall, a lovely story. Well done.


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Review #9, by HarrietHopkirkHate: Andromeda Tonks

14th December 2015:
Nooo! Andromeda!

Ugh my poor, precious Andromeda. I actually wrote a really vague, very short fic about Andromeda once, maybe for some House Cup group effort, and it was the saddest thing. She has really lost so much - her husband, her daughter, her son-in-law, her sister... And she is left all alone. I can totally understand why she hates/is jealous of Lily Evans.

I really liked how this flowed. I was a bit disconcerted with the use of parenthesis (I'm not sure they are needed) but otherwise I really enjoyed this (also not sure if 'enjoy' is the right word for something so sad). I love fics about Andromeda and I'm glad I stumbled across this one, so thank you!

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Review #10, by HarrietHopkirketc. etc. (and life goes on): Trust Whom You Love, or Is It the Other Way Around?

1st November 2015:




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Review #11, by HarrietHopkirkDevilish Delights, Wicked Ends: XXI. And Fury

30th December 2014:
HELLO! I haven't been here in so long - although I'm glad, because it means I can do a super long catch up of everything you've posted rather than wait for updates! Huzzah! Can you update right now please? That would be super helpful.

There's so much to talk about though! Sybalbus (sounds like some sort of plant, and also ’syllabus’, which links into the NEWT answers scheme somehow, but not really)! They are cool and evil! Many mind games! So much power play! I really enjoy reading their scenes together, and their thought processes, and their scenes with other people. Just the whole story, really, and all the characters. I can't believe it was Antigone who did that exploding charm thing to Rose! I thought it might have been Rose herself in an Amy Dunne sort of way, but alas. I thought Antigone was steering clear of all this stuff, but her role of protector I suppose means protecting Ophelia from alcohol, and Sybil from Rose Weasley.

I'm a big fan of Ofinnlia (questionable name - lacking the ‘catch on’ factor, I feel). I really, really, really like Ophelia (URQUHEART). She's fascinating, and I love her interactions with Thackeray. I really enjoyed the Valentine's Ball, and their scene with drunk Ophelia. She seemed so cute and drunk and happy - but her sober scenes are so much colder and smoother, so I’m wondering if it could have possibly been at act? To weaken Finlay in some way? I also like Thackeray's interactions with Rose, so I'm a bit conflicted. I love Rose as well. She’s very mean and severe, and it was really interesting to understand her thought process, her justification - that bit with the Albus hug! So ruthless.

AND the ending of this chapter! I imagine Sybil and the gang will double their efforts to take the triumvirate down, OR she’ll leave it be and knuckle down with her revision. Also Caspar! I’m still harbouring feelings for him - he’s going to come out on top, I think (I want), and still with great hair.

Sorry if this is a mad ramble. I just really enjoy your story Gubby so please update soon!

Author's Response: Hay gurl haaay! It's so nice to see you around, Hattie. I can just imagine how long this took to read through but I'm glad you did it and enjoyed it!

God, I really should have kept potential ship names in mind when I was writing this. Going full Gubby and picking terrible names for everyone means there's just no way any good ones will come about. Sylbus are wonderfully twisted and glossy evil, as always, but this chapter marks a turning point, and not just for the reasons you'd think. And :333 idk how to respond to all that so to go on to your next concrete point:

I still have not actually read/seen Gone Girl, but I don't see Rose as an Amy Dunne. She is not patient enough to go through all that, honestly, and she isn't so willing to ruin people, even (former?) loved ones. She doesn't hide it when she goes after people, ie that time with Ophelia, and when she's constantly telegraphing to Albus that she's coming after him. That Antigone did it comes as a surprise to everyone, especially Antigone, but yes, she believes she's the only one who can protect the other two when they get too invested in the power plays they're doing, and she'll do what she has to in order to stop someone like Rose. Who may not exactly be an Amy, but isn't a picnic to deal with either.

Ophelia is quite the fan favorite! Which makes me happy, because she's one of my favorites too, and Ofinnlia (better than anything I've come up with) is a subdued, unspoken, yearning funhouse-mirror version of Sylbus. The Valentine's Ball scene of hers was my favorite of all, though there are one or two coming up that are also up there. She was not acting with him when she was drunk, though; idk if she was happy so much as uninhibited, and tired of everything. But I do love Finn/Rose too... ah, decisions, decisions!

I didn't think the ending of this chapter was all that ~exciting~ but it's definitely the heralding of something new. We'll see it more next time, but we're beginning the next and final major phase of the story, which will refocus on a more concrete way the fate of the answer keys and the triumvirate's involvement and what Sybil will do to take them down. And ahh Caspar... I am still so baffled regarding everything to do with him, but I'm not going to fight it. Spoiler: he'll still have great hair at the end. No word on the mental/emotional/physical condition of the rest of him, unfortunately.

By no means is this a mad ramble! It was a very enjoyable ramble if anything. You know my schedule by now, and I do my best to stick with it, but thank you so much for reading and reviewing as always Hattie! Hope you enjoy what's coming up :)

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Review #12, by HarrietHopkirkClementine: Clementine

10th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

This is just beautiful! Really, really beautiful, and I really enjoyed reading it. Well done and thank you for writing it.

I love Fleur's thought process. She seems so confident in her looks and set in her ways. Her picking out the dress was a perfect moment to describe, and your language and word choice really suited the pleasant tone of the piece. Really very pretty and romantic and sweet and everything.

Before Half Blood Prince, I really only thought of Fleur as being stuck up and self centered, but suitably badass as she was the Beauxbatons champion. Obviously that changes with the whole 'I am good looking for the both of us, I think!' and she remains one of my fave characters. This fic humanizes her, and it's lovely to see how Bill swept her off her feet :) I loved his little foray in French! So cute!

A really beautiful one shot. Favoriting!

Author's Response: Hey there! Thanks so much for dropping by to review! :) I'm slightly in awe of you, so to get this from you was just amazing :)

Gah, thank you so so much for that! I'm so happy you liked Fleur - she's one of those characters people always seem to write stereotypically, I think, because in the beginning she is fairly stereotypical: the pretty, clever girl who's haughty and stuck up and all... but I love showing her as a different kind of person, kinda more real. Gosh, the moments in this... I wrote at least 300 more words than the limit, haha, so it was really hard to cut it down, so I'm so glad you liked the ones eventually in it!

Thank you so so much for the review and the favourite - I honestly struggled so much with writing this response because I just didn't know what to say. At all. Thank you! :) :)

Aph xx

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Review #13, by HarrietHopkirkNocturne: Nocturne

10th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

I can't stop reading Snily fics, even though I'm not sure I like the pairing. I understand that it justified Snape's actions, but he still wasn't a nice man. Still, I love this fic and this it gives a nice take on Snape and all his feels.

You have such a way with words, Celeste. Your sentence structure, your word choice, your description and characterization are all wonderful, and Snape is tricky. You made him seem more human in this, and I loved the flashback to Lily teaching him how to potion. Moving stuff.

The little touches about the art of potion making and the jibes against Harry make the fic more authentic. I also love the ending paragraph: He thinks then about the multitudes of lives he could have led had his life been formulated correctly. If he’d had a father who had not left. If he’d had a mother who had not died. If he had not grown up with a sense of shame and vulnerability that had made him hungry for all the wrong things. It's almost as if he believes his life has taken the path it has not because of his own choices, but because of other people and their faults and choices. He blames others for what his life has become. I can imagine he blamed Lily as well, at some point, for the state of his life because she did not love him back (the danger of the friend zone).

I loved this, though. Your writing style is excellent, as per.

Author's Response: Ugh Hattie, all your reviews have made me melt. I'm actually very glad you chose this one-shot to read -- I cringe a bit over 'orange groves' and I think this is a much better representation of non-15 year old me.

It's a bit of both with Snape. I think he goes around feeling very guilty and being cognizant that his actions essentially lead to Lily's death. However, he does recognize that his life wasn't exactly set up ideally. I don't think he blames other people as much as he acknowledges that they've failed him. But hey, don't we all get self-pitying and mopey at 3 am? :) Not sure about whether he'd blame Lily or not. It's an intriguing thing to think about. Of course, I'm still mad that he only cared about saving Lily and not her son or husband, so maybe there's a possibility that he'd be selfish enough to blame Lily.

Thanks for reading :)

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Review #14, by HarrietHopkirkThere Is a Light That Never Goes Out: even after all this time

10th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

I've only ever read a couple of Snily fics, and I don't know why the number is so few. I'm not sure I like the ship - I understand that it justifies Snape's actions somewhat, but (for me at least) it doesn't excuse him from how he treated Neville or Harry or Lupin. I just don't think he was a nice person.

But this fic shows a different side to it: the extended metaphor of the sun and the Earth was well used, and I like the top quote. It explained Snape's thought process and his love for Lily. Your word choice and sentence structure were also really good.

Your description, too. I could really picture the two of them in that house, Lily frozen with fear and Snape giving her a way out. That moment was particularly moving. I always thought that Snape's love was particularly possessive, bordering on obsessive - but this showed a gentler side to it. A great mental picture, and that's a credit to your writing.

Really well done.

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Review #15, by HarrietHopkirkReminders : Reminders

10th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

This is amazing and wonderful and gorgeous! I really enjoyed reading this. I've never really thought about Lavender and Seamus as a couple, but this depiction of them is beautiful.

For something so short, you conveyed a lot of emotion and backstory. Your writing style is almost poetic, and your sentence structure and word choice is really good. The opening description of Lavender was really nice: She reminded him of what it was to be young; of an English summer spent in sun flooded cottages listening to the Quidditch, of the Muggle music she was so fond of. She reminded him of neon colored copies of Witch Weekly strewn on the floor, of mascara wands and pink lipstick. She reminded him of tentative kisses and the softness of her hand against his. Lavender reminded him of a setting sky, a myriad of colors, bleeding into one another with their beauty. The fact you used 'mascara wand' just made a more mundane thing seem more magical, or am I being stupid?!

It's moving that Lavender cannot dress in front of Seamus because of her scars - her whole attack and subsequent feels was handled really well. It was beautiful that Lav and Seamus found each other - I feel so hopeful and it's so romantic but not overly so and yayyy lovely writing!

Favoriting! A beautiful little story.

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Review #16, by HarrietHopkirkI am, I am, I am: I am, I am, I am

9th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Rose! Metaphors! Nice writing! My fave.

Despite the rather hopeful ending to this story, the tone is pretty moving and melancholy. The extended metaphor of the sea and the sky and land is executed really well and allows for some great imagery. Everything was so well written I could really picture it, which is a credit to you.

I would have loved to have more information on why Rose was feeling depressed, but in retrospect, it may not have added anything and would have probably been redundant. You write so concisely. You have fitted so much into 500 words and it works really well. I'm satisfied by the end of it. You portrayed her feelings so realistically and the use of the metaphor helped us understand exactly what she was going through.

The ending made me so happy, and so hopeful that Rose would get better and find a way onto a LITERAL island.

Fear and darkness are not always short lived. But one can do an awful lot of living in the moments in between.

For life is not measured in seconds, and minutes, and hours. Where would be the fun in that?


Author's Response: Hello again!
Not discussing why Rose was depressed was something I did on purpose - depression is often meaningless, brought on by nothing. One of my friends had just had a bad few weeks with her depression, and so that is very much what inspired this - because it's so often arbitrary and unfair.
Thank you so much for another lovely review! I really appreciate it -hugs-

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Review #17, by HarrietHopkirkAll Black and Full of Bones: All Black and Full of Bones

9th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

This is simply gorgeous! I really enjoyed reading this. You characterization of Luna and her fascination with the thestrals is wonderfully executed. You have a way with words, you really do.

First off, I want to talk about your characterization of Luna and how perfect it is. You captured her oddness, her slight straying from the norm, and even her desire to find out more about magic and magical creatures and knowledge. She is a Ravenclaw, after all. You captured the real essence of her. I loved the connection between the thestral and her mother and death and everything.

You summed it up very nicely here: She spent most of her Hogwarts life in the forest, frolicking with creatures most people in the castle could not see. Those inside the castle saw her quirks and her oddities and made little effort to see past them, just as all people saw when they looked at thestrals was ugliness and death. And so she saw the beauty in them, just as they saw the beauty in her.

Your descriptions are spot on too! I really, really enjoyed reading this and look forward to looking at some of your other stories as well as some others from event 3. Well done!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I love Luna to pieces, so I'm always thrilled to hear that I've done her justice. Even though she's more outwardly odd than many other characters, I find it much easier to get into her head for some reason.
Thanks so much for the lovely review!

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Review #18, by HarrietHopkirkHe Visits Twice A Day: Twice A Day

9th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

This is stunning! Such an oddly beautiful and poetic piece. I really liked the narrative - so refreshing to see it done, but in some place it did get a little too Yoda-ish for me. Maybe it's a question of when is the limit, but then again that's a personal preference.

I thought it was so moving that Sirius came to visit the Potters' house and their graves (and the way you described them was beautiful). I was wondering at what point in canon did he do this? Before Azkaban? While he was on the run as Snuffles? Before his death? Either way, it doesn't matter, and the image of him visiting it is still really sad.

You manage to convey so much in only 500 words. Your sentence structure and word choice makes it flow seamlessly, and flow is so important in short pieces like this. You manage to fit in so much emotion through your imagery and description. Really well done.

Author's Response: I'm sure it's definitely a question of when is the limit - this was absolutely totally experimental, and it's received completely polarising views because of how odd it is. It's not a style I enjoyed when I first read it, but it grew on me to the point where I had to try to emulate it.
The way I saw Sirius visiting the graves was that it was all in his head, something he replayed over and over again sitting in his cell.
I'm so happy you enjoyed it! Thank you very much for reviewing, and so sorry for the late response!

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Review #19, by HarrietHopkirkAll the Beauty in the World: Danced Before His Eyes.

9th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Aaah, Snily. Never really known how I really feel about this pairing. Snape's love for Lily justified his actions re being a double agent etc. but I still don't think this justifies his actions towards Harry or Neville or Lupin. He wasn't a very nice man, and while his love for Lily was a major plot thing, it bordered on obsession.

But this is nice, this is different - it shows a much more innocent, younger side to his devotion to her. It's a very realistic depiction, and I enjoyed reading it. The flow and rhythm of the story worked really well too, almost poetic. The narration was beautifully executed.

Everything about this is very sophisticated, and I really liked reading it. The tone is nice, and I could really feel Snape's emotions through your choice of words. While it was short, it evoked so many emotions while reading and managed to fit in good characterization too. Really well done.

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Review #20, by HarrietHopkirkAll That Matters : All That Matters

9th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

I'm really enjoying reading these 'Every Word Counts' entries, they really are so so good! This is written with a great, natural style - despite the length, you manage to achieve lots re characterization and description and emotion and backstory and everything. S'all good.

And you explain everything with such depth! Again, amazing for just 500 words. So good. Your sentence structure and word choice is enviable. Everything just works so well! I'm sorry - this is kinda turning into a rambling squee, but this fic is lovely :)

'Five foot eleven INCHES', maybe?!

You create such brilliant images with your words! Victoire herself, the beautiful meadow. She seems so down to earth but then also some sort of enigma to Teddy - but I suppose that's her Veela side peeping through.

This has such a lovely hopeful ending. Really nice. A really wonderful one shot. Well done.

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Review #21, by HarrietHopkirkorange groves: orange groves

9th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Celeste! You're ridiculous! Really! I know this has been up for ages and it's been so long since I read anything of yours, but you have such a way with words. I know your style has only improved since this, but it's still great.

Your imagery is beautifully executed and creates such a great picture that it can't help but stay with me. Here's an example: Their love was one of watching the sun fade to red dust, of watching the star strewn sky, of dancing in the street side curb, the streetlight draped across their arms, their mingling voices their music, of sitting in silence, because they were beyond mere words. Their love was of him, of her.

Despite the length, you managed to fit in a lot about Teddy and Molly's relationship, about her writing. It was very concise. There was no need to write any more, I was perfectly satisfied by the end, by the state of their imperfect/perfect summer relationship. The simplicity of the writing complimented the tone of the story, and it really worked.

I loved it! 10/10

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Review #22, by HarrietHopkirkLights Will Guide You Home: Fix You

9th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

This is so moving! I enjoyed your descriptions of Harry moving through the castle, before it ended on a rather hopeful tone. There's still a lot to deal with though - just because the war has ended does not mean there's nothing to face now. Yes, there's a certain sense of relief, but there's also grief and loss to deal with. That relief and eventual happiness comes at a heavy price.

The Harry/Ginny moment was really well-handled. You focused more on the grief and loss aspect of both the characters, and that became the main focus of the story. But still, it was nice to end on this comforting note, the two of them coming together. Very bittersweet, that they come together out of so much pain.

You were very concise and it worked really well. There was so much conveyed in so little words and it came across very nicely. The flow and rhythm was very good.

Overall, a lovely little one shot. Well done.

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Review #23, by HarrietHopkirk Nuances : the nuance of fear

9th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

I really enjoyed this! Short, concise, straight to the point. People always seem to forget that Peter was a Marauder and a good friend, and I love reading fics about him. Despite his actions being completely horrible and cowardly, this fic made him seem more human. Your writing style is really good. I enjoyed reading Peter's emotion and action and thought, and it worked well with the rhythm and tone of the story. You addressed his fear and his regret really well.

His epiphany is handled well. His realization that death and pain isn't that bad, and maybe that his betrayal of James and Lily wasn't worth the absence of it. If anything, it just heightened the presence of more fear in his life under the control of Voldemort. His change of mind (?) was executed really well.

Overall, a great little oneshot. Well done.

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Review #24, by HarrietHopkirkVictory Marches: The Minor Fall, The Major Lift

9th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Your writing style is amazing as always. You have such a way with words and I can't really deal with it. This writing is so simple, so concise - I know that's the challenge, obv - but it works so well and you convey so much in just 500 words. Well done.

Her narration and emotions were portrayed really well, and there were a couple of really great moments and lines. The opening - 'those days, soot covered the sky' - was amazing, the reference to Greek mythology especially good.

The italicized words gave the piece a strangely fractured flow, which reflected Marlene's feelings and fears, I guess (emphasis on the guess). They contrast nicely with the other bits, which have nice flow and word choice.

Awesome awesome! I really enjoyed this - will have to read some more Marlene fics, preferably yours, obv!

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Review #25, by HarrietHopkirkTainted Hearts: Tainted Hearts

9th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

I keep reading Dramiones even though I usually steer clear of them because they are usually very cliche - but I really enjoyed this! Well done!

You paint a very good mental picture with your words. Your imagery and description are spot on, and really add to the poetic feel of the story. I liked the dialogue too - realistic and believable and in character.

The emotion! The feels! They were wonderfully executed and really worked with the tone of the story. I do feel sorry for the two of them, and I am glad they spent this time together :) LOOK MY DRAMIONE FEELS ARE CHANGING SOMEONE HELP!

I'm really impressed with this. You were able to convey so much through so little words - which is the point of the challenge I know - but it really worked. I enjoyed it. Well done.

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