Reading Reviews From Member: Illuminate
406 Reviews Found

Review #1, by IlluminateScylla's Misbehaved Midnight: Scylla's Misbehaved Midnight

6th August 2014:
Hi! Review Tag!

This is a really nice oneshot. You capture the feelings really well and the description of how the characters are feeling are quite realistic.

This chapter is a little short and fast-paced. I don't mind the length (good things come in small packages!) but I think you could try and slow it down a little to make the events that transpire feel more natural. There are also a couple of spelling or grammar mistakes that could be fixed it you went through it again, or with a beta :)

Other than that, a really nice slash story that doesn't make it too lewd or over the top.

Good job!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. Glad you liked it. It's actually a spinoff of a longer story. It was originally just a flashback, but I decided it was unnecessary for the plot. I didn't want to waste the writing so I turned it into a spinoff. I probably should have fixed it up before publishing it. Thanks for the critique. I will use it. If you want to see some of my better work consider checking out the main story, Hostage: A Story of Saving Albus Potter and Irene Malfoy. Scylla is a main character.
Gladis Gudgeon

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Review #2, by IlluminatePerfectly Pansy: A Proper Pureblood Witch

25th May 2014:
Hi! Review Tag!

This is really great oneshot! I thought it was so clever how you kept using alliteration to make your point- it makes perfect sense while reading it and you pick the perfect P words to put across what you're proclaiming (see what I did there? xD)

Pansy is also a character I've never had much connection with, but you write her very well. It's easy to see how she's so pressured and feels she must be a "proper" Pureblood and a good prospective wife for Draco. It's clear how much she feels for him.

I really like the poetic way you wrote this too, and the choice of writing it in second-person, as it adds more uniqueness to the story and also enhances the isolation Pansy experiences.

Great job!

Author's Response: Hi!

Thanks so much for this lovely review! I was really worried about the alliteration going overboard, but the responses have been really positive. I had a really hard time writing this until I entered the second person POV challenge and it worked so well!

I felt like I understood Pansy a little better after writing this, so I'm happy to hear that you did as well.

Thanks again!


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Review #3, by IlluminateCreeper: Creeper

15th February 2014:
Hi! Review Tag!

This is a super creepy oneshot! I like how this is a totally original idea, I've never read anything quite like this before. You created the creepers yourself, adding to the canon with this really interesting and scary magical object!

I like the the sort-of poetic prose you used, it really adds to the creepy atmosphere of the story.

Great job!

P.S. I don't know if you know, but Victoire's birthday is actually May 2nd, because of the anniversary of Voldemort's demise. Doesn't really matter that much, but just thought I'd mention it xD

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm so glad you found this original. That' what I wanted this little one-shot to be. :)

Yeah, the poetic prose never fails to create a scary atmosphere. That's why I used it!

Oh, I didn't know that! Anyways, thanks for letting me know... Now this just has to be what it is. ;)

Thanks for the lovely review! :D


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Review #4, by IlluminateDisclosure: Bonding with the Pages

8th December 2013:
Hi! Review Tag!

I really like stories that fill in missing gaps in canon, which I know is the reason you wrote this :) Ginny, especially younger Ginny as she is here, is a very unused character whose innocence is still intact. I was always fascinated by her possession.

I think you write her well here, and her insecurity and embarrassment about her crush on Harry. It's fully understandable that she needs someone to talk to, and the diary picks the perfect time to take advantage.

Very good job!

Author's Response: Hehe thank you! I felt like I could have delved deeper into this, but don't really have time or inspiration for it. :)

But thank for what you said! ^_^

And thanks for reading and reviewing! :D

- Asphodel

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Review #5, by IlluminateFirst Name Terms: Guilt

28th November 2013:
Hi! Review Tag!

This is a good continuation of the story! It's nice to see Draco and Hermione's inner monologues. I like the fact that Draco first starts to have feelings for Hermione rather than the other way around, and that he considers all the other aspects of his life around it. I do feel like maybe his feelings are a little strong too fast, but it's very early days yet.

The prose, dialogue and descriptions are very good!

I did spot a couple of little grammar mistakes which could be fixed by a read-through or a beta :)

Good job!

Author's Response: Hi again!

Ah, I'm pleased you came around for the second chapter. I usually don't like when people choose to read this particular story, especially people from over at the forums (because it's not very good, and definitely not my best work, especially the beginning chapter), but thank you for tagging me anyways.

Haha, yeah, I agree, I did rush it a bit :P

I've actually put in an edited version of this and the next couple of chapters into the queue, so I think all the typos up to chapter four will soon be updated and fixed :)

Thanks for tagging me!

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Review #6, by IlluminateNot as Small: A Mother's Love

13th November 2013:

I really love this! Totally woman-power and real. I love how real this is! Molly comes across so well, and so authentically. Who cares if a woman is bigger, she's a mother, she has a family, she's accomplished. And I also like how Arthur just didn't care that she was getting bigger.

The moment was lovely when she realised she was expecting the Twins :) So lovely. You also wrote the kids very well.

Great job!

Author's Response: Hi!!

I'm so glad you liked it and that the message resonated with you. I always imagined Arthur loving her more because of the family she gave him. I intentionally made Molly's self worth come from within rather than just on external praise.

Thank you so much for the awesome review!


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Review #7, by IlluminateIn the Cave: Into Darkness

13th November 2013:
Hi! Review Tag!

This was super creepy! I always wondered what happened in the cave, and what Tom had done to the two of them. The way you described it filled me with dread. It runs at a breathless pace, because of the word count, and it corresponds to the heart-pounding drama of what takes place.

Filling Amy with her deepest fears of herself was certainly Voldy-like, and the little that you see of him certainly gives you the creeps, especially at the end when he looms over her.

Definetely very creepy! Good job!

Author's Response: Hello!!

I love hearing that this creeps people out! Having Tom be a bully to them in that specific way was interesting to write about. I decided on a blend of physical and psychological abuse because it seemed more likely to do lasting damage.

I'm really glad I captured the essence of Voldy (which could be a perfume by Este Lauder, right?!?!). Thank you so much for such a nice review!


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Review #8, by IlluminateAll Along: Epiphany

9th November 2013:
Hi! Review Tag!

This is a really cute oneshot! I think you write Ron really well and put across his emotions skilfully. His guilt and love for Hermione comes across very well, and it feels geniune.

I like that he was only able to find them once he admitted to himself that he loved Hermione. It's an nice little tie-in with canon :)

Good job!

Author's Response: Thanks dear! I'm glad that you like it! ♥

Thanks for reading and reviewing! :D

- Asphodel

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Review #9, by Illuminatemurmur.: one.

26th October 2013:
Hi! Review Tag!

This is a very well written and creepy story xD It's very disturbing, and I think it's a good idea for the reason she was affected to be magically-based, when she said that a stranger had given her a necklace it was very chilling. Adding the detail that she got a T in Charms was illuminative too, shows that she may not have even thought that the necklace could be dangerous.

You write it in such a way that I care about Rose too, I really want her to get help, even 500 words into the story. That shows the mark of the care you took in writing this.

Great job!

Author's Response: Ooh, I'm glad you liked it! Writing a story so short was a big challenge but I actually think it ended up making it scarier, I'm not sure it would have been this creepy if there'd been more detail, so I'm glad you thought it worked :D I'm glad you thought I got Rose's character across too, I tried to show her as much as I could without having the whole 500 words just be explaining her backstory!

Thanks for the review!


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Review #10, by IlluminateSoaring.: Dear Mary.

23rd October 2013:
Hi! Review Tag!

I really really like epistolary stories- they are so easy to read and have a set structure which works so wonderfully with character-based stories. That's why I'm very pleased you wrote this as a letter rather than just Regulus's internal monologue. He has a point to make, and he sifts through his feelings and grief rather than it spinning out of control which it probably would be if he were just talking to her in his head.

This is written very well. I like the picture of Mary that you painted, she comes across as very fiesty and a great match for your Regulus. He is very well written also; it makes sense that he would decide to join the Death Eaters out of his grief and rage; I also love that you mentioned trying to kill Voldemort for Mary, for that little tidbit of motive for Regulus that ties into canon. Love it.

I think if I were to suggest one little thing, it would be to linger on why Mary died a little more. I know you touch on it, and it might be your decision for it to be too painful for him to think about, but I think it makes a little more sense for him to question it slightly more. But that's just my opinion xD

All in all, wonderful job!

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! I love playing around with unusual writing methods which is partly why I wrote this as a letter, so I'm glad you think it worked :) I definitely think it would have had a very different tone if it was just him thinking about her in his internal monologue so this was a fun way to make the story more structured even though it only had one real character.

I'm glad you liked Mary, and thought she was a match for Reg! I get annoyed quite often reading about couples who are totally wrong for each other in fic, so I really tried to give these two complimentary traits and paint a picture of the tumultous relationship their respective personalities would have left them with.

I kind of tried to leave Mary's death very ambigious. Not only is Regulus still in denial and doesn't want to think about it, but he still doesn't really know WHY Mary did what she did, doesn't know her motives or anything, and because their relationship was a secret he can't find out any details without seeming suspicious, so there's not much more he can say when it's only from his POV. That said, I'll keep your feedback in mind next time I give this an edit! Maybe I could add a few lines that make it clearer while leaving that ambiguity :)

Thanks for the lovely review!


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Review #11, by IlluminateA Halloween Visit: A Halloween Visit

15th October 2013:
Hi! Review Tag!

This is a really touching, sad story. I know in your Authors Note you want to know how your characterisation of Harry is- it's great. He feels very authentic, and that he's grown up a little bit since the end of DH (and since I guess this is set a little after, that seems right).

It is a lovely idea to bury the Marauders (minus Wormtail) together, and Tonks with Lupin. I think they would have preferred that.

The prose and dialogue was written very well, the pace was just fine. The only thing that jumped out at me was when you mentioned that Andromeda had taken Teddy in- unless this is the first time Harry's visited their graves I would have thought that's something he'd mention before. Other than that I couldn't see anything.

Totally nitpicky I know xD Great job!

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing.

I am pleased you found this touching and that Harry felt authentic to you. It is set just a few months after the second wizarding war yeah.

I always felt like they should have been buried together and I am glad you liked the idea.

It's a relief to know that the prose and especially the dialogue was fine as well as the pace. I actually felt that Andromeda would have not taken in Teddy immediately after the war as she'd have needed time to grieve and get herself together. Until then he'd have stayed in the Burrow. But that's just my little head canon xD

Thanks so much for your lovely review!

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Review #12, by IlluminateA Picnic to Remember : The Surprise

12th October 2013:
Hi! Review Tag!

This is a really cute oneshot! Teddy and Dominique are a really cute couple, especially in this story! Usually fluff isn't really my bag, I have to be in a certain mood for it, but this isn't so fluffy that it gives me a cavity xD It's just adorable, and it feels like a new beginning with the pair of them.

I also like that it references Teddy's past relationship with Victoire- it keeps the story in canon, which is one of the top priorities for me in a non-AU story xD

I think I may have seen a few missing commas here and there which made some sentences feel out-of-breath, but other than that it was fine grammar wise :)

Good job!

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing.

I am glad you liked this oneshot and enjoyed Teddy/Dominique. Fluff is usually not my thing either but when the plot bunny hit me I didn't have a choice xP I am pleased you found it adorable as that was my intention.

Yeah, I tried to keep it as canon as possible, and let's face it, not all high school relationships work out, and so it didn't for Teddy/Vic either.

I'll do a re-read and try to spot the missing commas. Thanks!

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Review #13, by IlluminateSnapshots: Michael Corner

12th October 2013:
Hi! Ravenclaw Review Tag!

This story continues to be very funny and very well written! xD I instantly disliked Michael because he's so vain and self-centred, but I thought the fact he was willing to go along with Lavander's plan was so hilarious I simply cannot wait to see what the two of them get up to. You wtite Michael so well to establish him as an unlikeable character but then turn that around as a way to possibly make the readers laugh at him rather than hate him.

Lavender is written well too, her craziness and hyperactiveness comes right out of the books, and her plan is so funny, especially since we haven't even seen Ron and Hermione yet! I'm interested to see how they react to all of this.

Great job!

Author's Response: Hi again! I'm glad that you chose Snapshots again as I do have a soft spot for it :P

Haha, I loved writing Michael as you could make him do anything really and it somehow made sense in this distorted world. Yay for not hating on him, he's just Lockhart really vain but not evil :P

They don't feature in this story, but they probably would be angry at her! Thanks for this great review :D


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Review #14, by IlluminateFirst Name Terms: Appetite

8th October 2013:
Hi! Review Tag!

This is a nice start to the story! It's nice that you suggest that Draco does have the softer side to him and that comes out a little in this chapter. You write Hermione very well, she seems very authentically written. I also like that you set the story in this time period, when both Hermione and Draco are vulnerable.

I saw a few little typos that could be fixed with a beta or a few read-throughs, but other than that this is an enjoyable read :)

Great job!

Author's Response: Hi!

I am so pleased you like the edits, something tells me that if you'd had read this prior to the major edits I made a couple of days ago, you wouldn't be saying that :P Trust me, looking back I see sooo many plot holes. It's good though knowing I made a smart move and edited some out before someone else began reading!

Agh, typos. I'll be sure to go back and comb through this again!

Thanks for stopping by m'dear!

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Review #15, by IlluminateChanged: Changed

7th October 2013:
Hi! Review Tag!

This is a really poignant and well written oneshot. Every word really does count xD You utilise every one really well, and it all comes together to tell a great little story that has a lot of impact.

I think you use sentence lengths very well too, they are so well wrought that it reads very dramatically but the character comes across as a very quiet, broken voice.

Great job!

Author's Response: Hi there! It was really nice to wake up and see this lovely review of yours waiting for me. :)
It's really hard to fit everything in 500 words so I had to edit this several times to get a satisfying result. I can't explain how glad I am to hear that every word does count!
Thanks for the wonderful review!

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Review #16, by IlluminateHealing: Coming Home

25th September 2013:
Hi! Sorry this is going to be a short review, I'm quite busy today xD

This is a lovely chapter! You have great characterisation in both Molly and Harry, and I'm glad this was a low-key chapter in terms of the emotional conversation that she had with Harry, and the scene at the graveyard. It's all written very well and I'm glad the story slowed down for a bit to let these conversations happen.

Great job!

Author's Response: No worries about the short review! You're reading, which makes my day! (And you've got me beat. Been meaning to get back to your story but real life keeps ganging up on me right now.)

I'm so glad you liked this chapter. It was one I really wanted to write at the time. Harry is so alone, but there are so many people who WANT to love him if he'd just let them. I wanted him to finally realize that, realize he DOES have a family, just not the one he was born with.

Thanks again! Your reviews make me smile.

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Review #17, by IlluminateWhen the Axe Fell: When the Axe Fell

24th September 2013:
Hi! Review Tag!

This is a nicely written oneshot! I like Nick, and ever since I read that he had to be hit by the axe loads of times I thought that his death must have been brutal and horrifying. I think you've captured that very well indeed.

All through reading this I was holding the back of my neck squeamishly xD I can't imagine how painful it must have been, and I think you capture that pain - both physical and emotional - though the whole process.

I also really like that you gave attention to the executioner too- they're often portrayed as heartless creatures, so I like that the executioner was portrayed as being severely disturbed by what he had done.

All in all, great job!

Author's Response: Hello!

Nick's character always interested me when I read the books, and when the idea for this story popped into my head I had to write it! It's definitely the goriest thing I've written but I couldn't avoid something like that in a story about an execution :P

The executioner was one of those wonderful characters who wrote himself and I loved the way he turned out, being affected with his actions.

Thank you so much for the lovely review!

Sian :)

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Review #18, by IlluminateA Selection of Yellow Things, Including Streelers and Mortimer's Socks: Loony

22nd September 2013:
Hi! Review Tag!

This is a really nice oneshot! You have Luna's characterisation down perfectly. I don't think I've quite seen such a good portrayal of her in fanfiction xD She has such the right mix of whimsy and frankness, which I love.

I also really like Mortimer! Since we all know Luna ends up with Rolf Scamander nobody really bothers to write her with anyone else, especially not OC's. Mortimer is nicely opposite to her in that he doesn't like anything 'weird,' which I suspect to be because he's a Squib and was denied the chance to be 'weird,' but he's also rather eccentric himself in a way that suits Luna very well. It's neat characterisation :)

Your prose was very good, I liked how Luna's mind often wandered and she consistantly had that dreamy outlook. It made for a very pleasant read, and I wouldn't mind at all if you decided to continue this xD

Great job!

Author's Response: Eeep! Thank you! This was the first time I ever dared to write Luna - and I was worried because it's quite difficult to get the balance of dreamy and direct, especially getting inside her head and writing 1st person - so I'm really flattered that you liked my portrayal of her so much.

This story was written for a challenge in which Luna meets an OC (which was fun because you're totally right - I haven't seen much other stuff focusing on Luna meeting OC's) so I decided to make him as opposite to Luna as possible, and really pretentious, but still secretly eccentric like she is. I'm so happy you liked him!

Thanks so much for your compliments, this was such a kind review! ♥

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Review #19, by IlluminateAllergic to Fun: Invitations and Unwanted Interventions

21st September 2013:
Hi! Ravenclaw Review Tag!

This is a really nice beginning chapter! I think you got the characterisations down well, and the banter between your characters is written very well- you can tell they've been friends for a long time, though they are clearly different people they know each other inside out.

I wonder how they will get on with getting James and Lily to get on with the revising- might be chaotic but at the same time romantic! I look forward to the Marauders being introduced.

Great job!

Author's Response: Hi Illuminate :) thank you for the lovely review!

I'm glad you thought the characterisations were good. I felt this first chapter was quite dialogue heavy, so it's good to hear you thought the banter was written well!

I'm looking forward to introducing the Marauders too... and the chaos that will ensue with the revision sessions and the party! There will be some romance in later chapters, but possibly not what would be expected ;)

Thanks again for the review :)

Haronione ♥

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Review #20, by IlluminateThis Love: Chapter 1

14th September 2013:
Hi! Review Tag!

This is a really nice beginning to a story. I like writing about what happens to the characters Post-War, and Draco stories are a lot of the time based around Hermione in some respect.

I like that this is based on Astoria and not Draco. Her feelings and thoughts, and her life. The backstory is very important to her character, and I think I'd like to see a little more on why exactly she left the Wizarding World and how this affected her life and relationships, though I expect that will be explored in the future :)

I saw a couple of typos that could be fixed just with a read-through :) Other than that, great job!

Author's Response: Hello again :)

It's the first time I'm doing this era, and I'm liking it already. I'm a canon freak, as I waste no breath in telling. So, I wouldn't do a Dramione, no offense. But I do like Draco and I was more than happy to explore this. I'm glad you seem to like Astoria. I was hoping that she'd be received well. I agree with you. The backstory makes the character and strengthens it. I will be exploring that more in the future. Worry not :) I know that there are typos, and I really need to fix them soon.

Thanks for the review :)

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Review #21, by IlluminateHealing: The Wages of War

10th September 2013:

This third chapter was probably the best yet! I really liked that we got an update on Fred's condition, and that he's up to writing messages and even hand gestures xD He's almost back to his old self. I hope he recovers and doesn't have any relapses!

Your characterisations are all really good! Harry's especially. The thought of all the funerals must be really daunting and horrible for him to go through.

Great chapter!

Author's Response: Oooh, thank you! Now I'm really smiling.

Fred's in pretty bad shape, isn't he, but he's still Fred - irreverent as always. Glad you liked seeing him, even with him being so hurt.

Aw, thank you so much! I did try really hard to get Harry right in this story, along with all the others. And yes, all those funerals would be very depressing, wouldn't they. :( Poor boy.

Thanks again! Your comments are so much fun.

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Review #22, by IlluminateHealing: A Little Wounded

9th September 2013:
Hi! I'm back!

The first half of this chapter was super exciting! Fred's still alive, yay! xD I loved the line starting with "In the absolute chaos that followed" because it neatly illustrates exactly how the characters would be feeling in that moment. I would personally like to see a little more of what happened afterwards, but for all I know that is explored more later :)

The second half of the chapter was very interesting. I think staying to help clear up the castle would be exactly what Harry would do. I think your characterisations of him and McGonagall in that scene were great. Again I would like a little detail of what had happened and what Ron and Hermione were doing while Harry was doing that. Basically just more! xD

Great chapter!

Author's Response: Cool! Welcome back and thanks for coming again! This surprise review made me smile.

Glad you are okay with Fred living. I really didn't want to write a story where he was dead. I just couldn't handle it; so I fixed it. But that means I broke canon, so I was afraid people would be mad at me.

As for the second half, I just felt like I needed to give Harry a little time to himself to process what had just happened. So it felt right to me.

As for your suggestions, thank you so very much. I have a tendency to write too many scenes that are two long, so for this fic, I was purposefully trying to use less. I wanted to see if I could convey the same feelings and tell the story without getting stuck showing every little moment. Not sure how it's working, but it's been good for my writing, however.

Thanks so much for going on with this story! Means a lot.

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Review #23, by IlluminateMyrtle: Myrtle

9th September 2013:
Hi! Review Tag!

This is a really sad oneshot. You convey Myrtle's sadness, loneliness and desperation perfectly, her wistfulness at never having a full life, while still feeling like the somewhat whiney, irritating girl we know in the original books. Her characterisation is great!

I think your prose is really good here too. It flows very well and is easy to read. You said in your A/N that this is out of your comfort zone, but you did very well and I enjoyed reading it :)

Great job!

Author's Response: Hi there :)

Thank you so much! With such characters, chracterisation is such a tricky thing. But it's also very important. I''m glad I've managed to win you over with it! It was meant to be sad, and it's good to know that that came through.

Oh wow :) thank you so much!
It's always nice to hear that it flows well. It was out of my comfort zone, mainly because of the genre. But thanks! :)

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Review #24, by IlluminateMemoirs of an Object: Little Girl Lost

8th September 2013:
Hi! Ravenclaw Review Tag!

This is a really interesting story! I never have read about Lily in this point of view- as a woman who has always felt objectified and underappreciated as a person. She's always been a bright, happy woman in the stories that I've read, and while she also seems like that kind of person in this, I think you've really deepened her character and made her more complicated and dark. I don't think you've strayed from the canon at all! I think the best fanfiction strives to add to the canon rather than stray from it, which is what you've done :)

The prose doesn't feel clunky at all, it's very smooth and easy to read, the flow is great. I like that we don't see James or anyone else in this oneshot, this is wholly about Lily and when she finds out that little Harry is on his way.

Favourite bit- when you mentioned about fighting to stay still at her sister's wedding; I wouldn't want to let my sister marry that man either!

Great job!

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for stopping by!

It's great that you feel like this is still canon Lily, just with a darker twist. That's very comforting for me to hear :) I'm also glad that you liked how the plot was centered on Lily so that she could really be explored as an individual, apart from her roles as a wife and mother in canon.

Hah, I agree! I think it would have been tough and awkward for Lily, knowing that Petunia didn't even want her there after all that they did together as young sisters.

Thanks for your lovely review!


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Review #25, by IlluminateAngular Cuts: Angular Cuts

7th September 2013:
Hi! Ravenclaw Review Tag!

I really like this oneshot!

Pansy is a character that is very unexplored and can give a lot of chance for a writer to deepen her character, especially as she seems such an unsavoury person in the original books. That's why I relish the chance to delve into a story about Pansy :)

I like your descriptions and prose- the way you connect her life and the way she feels to jagged, sharp edges really shows her character without coming right out and saying it. Showing that she wants to be a rebel and wants to reinvent herself and be rescued really shows the vulnerable side to her aswell.

One thing- you start three paragraphs with the word "She." Not that bad, but try changing it up a bit by swapping the wording around in the sentences.

Great job!

Author's Response: Hi there!

I'm glad you liked it as I had a lot of fun writing it. I know what you mean about her, as she always seemed so horrible in the books but I wanted to portray that other unknown side about her, and I'm glad you liked it.

I'm so glad that you liked how they interlinked as you're the first to pick up on it, so I was worried it hadn't worked! I never meant for her to come out so dark :P I saw what you meant and I've already changed it!

Thanks for the great review! ♥


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