I liked this. There was no dialog or very little, and I am one of them people that the way a character talks to another pulls me in and I have to say that the way that you used the words also the flow was what kept me going. I liked that it was very real felling behind it. I would have like if it was a little longer and even if we had got to know the OC name. Or even the way she felt after his song was done like it flipped POV just at the end of a little. Report Review
I loved the way that you opened this, it really got me thinking and very much interested. This is something very different and I like that Marlene was with James. I feel like there was that very nice and real message here about not having to change of others, staying true to yourself. The end line just sums it all up. It written really well. Good Job.Author's Response: Aww thank you! ^^ I really had fun writing it... I was thinking of how sometimes people have the "pretty blonde" cliche and wanted to show that sometimes, it's not all as it seems. I know many girls who have that complex, and I went through a period of time where I was pretending to be someone else as well... I'm glad you thought I wrote it well, and thanks for the lovely review!! :) Report Review
I liked that you picked a moment that meant so much hurt to Hermione that you really could feel the power behind her emotions in the way that you have written this. Its also a great way to pull the reader in with the Hello at the end you just want to know what are they going to say next. It really sets up the story like you can understand the place Hermione is coming from. Also I liked that you used her thoughts on the Yule Ball about Ron and her.Your writing has good flow.Author's Response: Wow thank you for this wonderful review! I felt that this would be the best place to start is as she is bitter over Lavender and Ron and would allow for someone else to come in and take Ron's spot so to speak. I'm really glad that you enjoyed the chapter and felt that it flowed well! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!
~Slytherinchica08~ Report Review
I liked that I could really feel the way Dominique was feel though the way that you wrote. I enjoyed the flash back it really pulled me into the story just to know what was going to happen to them. Its sad that she was left heartbroken and the way that you expressed that fact I really liked. It was really enjoyable story.Author's Response: Hey! Thanks so much for reading & reviewing! Glad to know you could feel Dominique's emotions and that you liked the story. Thanks :) Report Review
I really liked this Chapter it was really up beat and light hearted and I really did enjoy it. I liked that you had the flash back it gave you a clue into how they had been and more clues, I would say. Having Grant being the one would had taken the photos in Witch Weekly, I didn't think that was going to happen. I thought that in truth he was going to chase Natalie but this way was so much sweeter. I am looking forward to more of the Al/Natalie/James triangle. I cant wait for the next one.
I really enjoy you characters and also the way that you write them.Author's Response: Hi! I really liked writing this chapter and I'm so glad you liked the flash-back because that was one of my favorite parts to write :) There will hopefully be more interactions like that between James and Natalie!
I had considered having Grant chase Natalie but it didn't feel quite right. I actually really like Grant--he'll make a couple more appearances actually! Hehe, I didn't think people would react so strongly to the Al/Natalie/James triangle and it's given me so many ideas! I'm excited lol :)
I'm so so glad you're enjoying the story. Thank you for the lovely review! Report Review
I only got a couple of lines in till the emotions behind your words hit me. They are what pulled me in the story.
I like that you could see that Draco feels that rethought what he has missed(but also left) and doesn't know key details of what has happened in Hermione's life, in the pass four years.
The strong Hermione that we know from the books was here but you could tell that she had grown up but she was still had her.I love how Draco was so blunt thought out this story.
It was nice to see that you used the words about loving Harry but when you got into the flash back she used them on Draco. This really hits you that it was a big blow to him. I believe that this is a really good way to start the flow you had.
Also your writing is powerful when with the emotions. I can feel them with the way that you write your characters but also its the feels you get from it.
Harry was great with Cadence and I believe that I really could see him stand by Hermione in this, its a very possible story.
I really thought at the end of the first flash back she was going to run off with Draco but I loved that she got the ending she wanted but I also got the feeling she was second guessing herself at the same time.
LouiseAuthor's Response: Hi!
Wow, thank you!
I love writing stories where characters rethink their mistakes and attempt to "atone" them if you will.
Yay for getting characterisation right! I'm always so worried about it but I think that I got it good with this one.
I'm glad that I got the emotion across well! I loved writing Harry, he was fun and surprisingly easy.
Haha, I was sick of reading stories where the girl runs away with the guy in the end after he treated her badly so I wanted to write a real-life, down-to-earth story with mixed emotions and everything.
Thank you for such an amazing review!
Jaz Report Review
Here for you review!
-I love that I was drawn in by the first paragraph and then the "Next house." just makes me what to know who and what the scream is all about. It made me have to laugh at myself for when I found that it was about something much less than I thought and this was good how you did that. It was very believable to me, as it would be me doing the screaming.
I enjoyed that you didn't give away that this was from Lily's POV until I was drawn in and you had made her voice so that if I had my own voice for her I wont have make you Lily join into it. Also that there was a moment of mystery.
The story comes across different than what I have read of Lily as having her in Slytherin, you can see the realness in her character. As well that it is Lily that is in the most trouble its different.
The relationship with Lily, Albus and James makes me see a real life brother/sister relationships that I have seen. There is the love but there is also the fighting and so much more that comes with it.
With the way you have played out Ginny makes me think a lot of Mrs Weasley but you can still see Ginny in her. Its like its still Ginny but she has grow up with a little Mrs Weasley thrown in.
I really enjoyed the way that you ended this, its very much life like. I feel that this has come from your own experience or even something that you may have heard of. I loved the way you have written this, the voice that you have given Lily. Its very real and believable, strong voice that you have here.
Louise Report Review
I like your way of writing, you can see the way that its thought out but I think you have a great way to explain the normal day to day life of you character. I am not a fan of starting a chapter of 'I woke up'. But then again once you get going within your chapter you can see why it was there. I think that including the parental wake up call and the zoning out made me look at your character and see a way that you can realty to her. Over all it was a good flow and you could just zoom along with it and I did enjoy reading this.
Good Work! Report Review
Hey there MyMyMiss
This is great I love the feels that Seamus has and I can really feel them. The way you worded these emotions to very powerful, I am close is crying with the sorrow that is bough forward. I like the way the you explain the blame but you also in this chapter gave enough to get in hocked into the OC so that I have this want to find out who she is. But also want to see how Seamus goes for here.
From your Secret SantaAuthor's Response: Hi!
Naw thank you sooo much!!! I am sorry I almost made you cry :/ x
I am glad you can feel the emotion that Seamus has and how much that girl meant to him.
Thank you so much for being a lovely secret santa :hugg:
Merry Be-lated christmas too you too.
~Karni, x Report Review
I like that Draco is cold with her and yet still wishes her luck with the book. Oh and the smile, very sly in putting that in there. I like the way she was able to get ready and the start bit really come across as if you had been there and you were really writing what you know. It was great and I have to say that you do a great job on the flow!!
LouiseAuthor's Response: Hey again!
Thanks for yet another review :) I'm glad you liked the part with Draco, that wasn't really planned at all (not that I plan anything, haha), it was a spur of the moment decision, but I'm glad you think it worked well. Thanks so much!
-Giola Report Review
I like it. It showed her more in her own way and I like the friendship that have more to come, right? I think that you can see that you as a person have friendships like these. I like the diplomatic solution. Also thank-you for useing my line I loved it and the way it was. By the way I like apples. I really enjoy the moments when she is just thinking she is like myslef I guess is the easy way to say it.
Good work!Author's Response: Hey Louise!
Thanks so much :) I just couldn't resist putting the apples line in, it's absolute genius, ya know? :P Glad you like it so far! Thanks for the review.
-Giola Report Review
NO WAY, two Hollys? I cant wait to see how that goes with them. Oh I love the line that Amy said “Holly did you start dressing up random cats now?” oh made me laugh so much. I could see her doing that. Once again it was lovely written and I think thats what has me coming back. It has its own flavor so to say, that just pulls me in. I was just wondering do people know that Amy/James and Jack are fighting. I wonder what Adain will say when Jack tells him that he knew... That will be instering.Author's Response: Scary thought, but bound to produce some entertainment. :)
I'm so glad that you're enjoying the story, and the compliments make me write faster :P So thanks.
No one seems to know apart from the James and his mates, and Amy and the girls in her dorm. I'm sure that won't last though :P
Chapter 43 waiting to be validated.
Thank you for the review
nmegirl Report Review
WOW! I cant belive that its over. It was just one of them stories for me that it made my day each time that you updated. I love the ending and how you used Fred and the way the name came about also seeing the 5 years later was so good. JUST LOVED ITAuthor's Response: aww thanks so much! I'm so glad you enjoyed the updates and the chapters! :) and I'm glad you liked the ending! I just had to include Fred somewhere in there. ;) and I'm thrilled you loved the story! Thanks so much for your review! :) Report Review
Yes Harry punched Ron, I thought at first it was going to be Draco to get the punch but was a great twiste. I like how you can see the love and respcet with Harry and Ginny, Draco and Hermione that you have kept the same that makes the story stick out of me. I think that this has got great plot flow and that you have open alot. There is that one question that this chapter has me asking and thats when will Harry and Hernione go back the way they were. Or can they? How much has happened. Cant wait for that chapter.
Slytherin Report Review
Caomoyl I loved it. Sweet, cutie and right to the point. I really liked the idea of useing Hermione's Birthday. I enjoyed that Draco was thoughful and that he had changed after the war. I do have a question how soon after the war was this set? Also the way that you used this sceen to show how your thought on Dramione would go down, it has its own little charm.
SlytherinAuthor's Response: I'm glad you like it =D Umm, it is quite far ahead. They will have dated for a while and things..but I'm not sure exactly how long after. Aww, thank you =D Report Review
I would have to say that you are great that the cliffhangers, you always know the right spot to stop them and its great to keep the reads for you. But for me not so much. I think that they way that you write this in now at this stage of the story flows alot more and you can see how the characters have grown and that there is room for more. I love Holly and her cat. But There was just so much in this chapter even though it felt like it was a windup of a little plot line and a start of another. I think that you have Amy and her feelings down so well, they are just so real that its like they are my own.
SlytherinAuthor's Response: A lot of people have commented on my cliffhangers. I know it's mean to leave people on the edge of their seats, but I just can't help myself :P
Holly seems to be the favourite in the story, I'm a strong believer that everyone should have at least one insane friend. Makes life more interesting :)
I'm glad you are enjoying the story, Chapter 41 should be validated soon.
Thanks for reviewing
nmegirl Report Review
Wow that Kiss! I didnt think we would get to see them have one for a go while but that really suprise me once they did. I loved that James told her to say when, it was like 'I am going to do this but tell me if you want me to stop'. I really liked the part in which Lilan played and how that she and James found that way to work it out. Oh when james stuck up for her I was shocked, I really think this has to be some kind of turning point for them. I really LOVE this story and the way that you write, its just so well thought out and flows the whole way. Your humer makes the story be what it is, for me. I dont know how you do it but you always leave the chapters with a Chifhanger even something like this. I cant wait for more!!!
Slytherin Report Review
Here is this review that we talked about.
With the opening lines I didnt feel as drawn in, they just came of alitte choppy. It was just the first Paragraph that I didnt pull me in.. The rest of the flow it there and it just glides on, you may only need to change the words around or order of them.
The way that you used the true experience to show how down to earth your Astoria is, it explains her character. The way she thinks it imported to get that, it helps alot more than you first think. Also adding Daphne to the dilemma, so you put it. Show a more open and unsure side to Astoria that you dont get alot. To show that she has a deeper side to her is import to let her grow in your story. You have done this well to level room for this.
There is a good difference in the two sisters that also lets them grow in the sisterhood, but you can see the tight bonds they have I love the fact that Daphne doesnt know the bounders or she trys to push them. You can see that Daphne does what she wants when it comes to the r/ship. You can almost see the Envy that Astoria has in regades to her and this would be something good to over come.
With Dennis I hope to see him again, it was very different to see them talking in this way. It was like he really wanted to help and I can see wanting to see this through, also I believe he could make her a good friend, it would be good to see this explored to something.
You got Draco in one, you let him age but its still him.I cant wait to see how he has become what he has and to see how he feels.
With Draco and Lucius its nice to see that they are both able to stand each other, but I like that you can feel how straned they have become with each other has become. The fact that its his Mother that is keeping them together is very instering. You can tell that they are doing this to make her happy and that she has a lot of pull in both their lifes. Cant wait to see how you play them out in the same room.
the way that you ened it has me screaming for more and fast. I want to know what it is that he ment and see what happenes after this. So its save to say your end part has got me hooked.
I love the way this its write when you picked up the flow that keeps me running with it. From there you had me wanting to know what is going to happened next. I could see that you had become more relaxed in to the characters that you have in this story. You keeped the emoition and feelings raw and flowing with out the chapter.
The things I looking forward too will be seeing what Draco maens what Astrior will do now, and to see the way to take these Characters. Can't wait for the next one.
Louise Report Review
I really liked this chapter, it gave me something new to look forward to. I mean who does like some compertion in a story? I cant wait to see how James is going to take the Noah thing that better happen because I think that Tiff needs some thing that she wants. If that even make scents. Yes it was one flirt heavey chapter and you did the whole 'fake' flirt in a really good way. Great work I love the way that this story is going and it flows really good so far.Author's Response: Thank you so much, I'm so glad you look forward to reading this story! Yes, a little bit of competition is always healthy ;)
Thanks for the kind words and reviewing! :) Report Review
Grr I want to know what happenes next... I love that Sadie has a good side and I think that its great that she gave Hermione the dress. I kind of feel bad for Anne she sounds like she just doesnt want any trouble but then she goes looking for it. I cant wait for the next bit I just want to she Hermione explan what going on to her mum and dad. But I hope that she brings up that Draco mumbles her name in his sleep when he was with Sadie...
Great work!! Report Review
No, no NO you Can't leave it like that... my heart is like hanging from my mouth. That is so sweet what George has done for her but by Merlin Natalie better get her back. I love that she was so confussed but I can see what mrs Weasley was talking about, this is going to crush them both( and me) I cant wait to see what is to come and I kind of want to know how Kevin and Dasiey is going to cope. Poor Dasiey =[Author's Response: *hides* sorry!!! I am going to update soon, I promise you! George is definitely a sweetie. I'm not sure Daisy and Kevin will get along very well. They didn't clash well earlier in the story and Natalie definitely will not stand by a watch him take her, I assure you. Yes, poor daisy... but I'm going to update soon! :) Report Review
Wow now there was a twist that I didnt see coming a mile off, that is going to be funny and interisting. I cant wait to see what happenes at the party and the weekend.
I cant belive that James just walked into her house like that.
I like it and cant wait for more, you have written this just wondfully there is so much feelings in the writing to say.
Operation: Green With EnvyAuthor's Response: Hey thanks for reading and reviewing :-D I'm glad you liked the twist, I wanted to write something that I hadn't read before. Well James walked in because to him he stills feels that it is his flat as well. Thank you so much for your kind words, I am so happy that you liked it and can't wait to read more xx Report Review
I think that this is just a well writen story and I love that the story line as so much in it. It has so many different layeres like a good story should, you can see the planing that you have done in order for the way that it flows along. I really what to see what happenes when they stop running and how the whole Harry/Ginny baby thing will work out, oh and if Hermione and Draco go back to more of the wizarding world kind of thing.
Operation: Green With Envy =]Author's Response: thank you so much!! this definitely make me smile! Report Review
I really like this chapter as it gave us so much deepth in to who Em really is. That she has to two different sides to her and that she can cover her feelings and weakness at the some time. I wanted Albus to go talk to her after that so bad but I guess that its for another chapter. I hope that some how she sends the letter or even her mother sends it for her... now that wound be funny. I cant wait to see what happenes with this guy/her mum and what her mum says about her being home before she is ment to be. But to sum it all up, I really like the story and am enjoying the way that its going.
Operation: Green With Envy =]Author's Response: Hello!
Oh, thank you so much. I had this horrid feeling that everyone hated the chapter because the reading and review rates have dropped a lot in comparison to the other chapters..
But never mind that! You like it and that makes me happy :)
The next few chapters shall be going down the same path, opening up about her past and the next has several flashbacks, which should really shine a different light on her and why she is the way that she is.
As for the letter, ah, well, just wait and see, dear ;)
Again, thanks so much for reading and reviewing!
Allie x. Report Review
I was so happy to see that you had posted this! I love Bee and the way that she thinks, it just so real and kind of out there at the same time, if that make secents. I cant wait to see how this next bit is going to go, by the looks of things very instering and not the way that Bee wants it to.
Operation: Green with Envy =]Author's Response: haha thank you! I hope you continue to enjoy! Report Review
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