I was really hoping that at the end Jules had come home. I love that she took his photo with her. I like that she was doing the things that all good wives would do with the mother-in-laws gifts. It would be hard to be in her shoes just with all the waiting and I think that it was quite a nice thing that she still had that hope that he would be there or she would make him be there for dinner. With the table for two. Report Review
Wow for Harry that would really be a nightmare. I like that its just like the first time that Harry was woken up by Petunia. I kind of wish that Dudley had been there. I think that you really did a good job of Vernon. Also the details of how Harry was looking around his cupboard was really good. I like how they were all not able to say Wizards right. Also that at the end of the story that he is left in his cupboard but this time there is no way out. Nice and short!Author's Response: Thank you! :) Report Review
I like the way that you have written the coldness at the start of the chapter and that they both have it and its equal. A mood is always lighten by a food fight(even when only talked about). I like that Lorcan doesn't want or believe that his brother can make it with the Preparation. But then its like Lysander is having second thoughts. I like that one of the reasons that he wanted to join was because of the jealousy between them. But I cant believe that she says sorry and now they are back together is quite soon. I kind of feel like yelling at her a screaming why like you want at that girl on tv. Report Review
I like the start that you have made, you may just want to look at you spacing layout. I love that the first thought that I have is 'Is she a Potter?' Its like falling with the trap that you make for me. And then in walks a Potter. I like that is fast passe and its just the key elements to set up the story. I do wish that we had got her name. I can't wait to find that out of even which house she ends up in. She doesn't seem to happy to be at Hogwarts I want to know why. Report Review
I have always wonder if there could be some kind of creek within the Forbidden Forest. The Preparation sounds quite different and I like that you have so many different idea so far. I like that he asks her to wait for him but at the same time I can understand where she is coming from. I think that you really explained this part well, in the way that he was expressing himself but also her thoughts. She should not have to compromise her beliefs for him but they should met in the middle. I love that she just tells him that or close to. It shows she is a strong person. But they are both stubborn. I think that it really set the story having this chapter just be only both of them after just her. Report Review
I like that you ended this chapter with the title it really brings it back. Also the name Sandreiah its very different I never seen or heard it before but I really like it. I like that you haven't got it right from the bat being a Draco's daughter and a Weasley or Potter. I like that its Lysandar and her it really makes it different but even if later there is some Weasley or Potter thing this has made it very different from the rest out there. Also her thoughts are very flowey. Report Review
I like you could feel her bitterness. I think that it was funny that the reason she got fired was all because she punched James. I like that until she says anything you think she is not in Hogwarts. I like that the song moved that lady and you did a really good job of telling how her day to day of busking. I would have love to have seen her with her mum but hopefully thats in the next one, or maybe Hogwarts.Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing^^ I'm glad you enjoyed!^^ But no, you won't actually see Dolores until a little while. She's always sort of in the backround until a very precise moment in the future of this story :)
-June Report Review
I love that Ron took it to heart that Albus was in Slytherin and that he even has his own little nickname for him. I enjoyed that she thought out how each person was going to take the news and that she even had some that were going to be happy for her in her thoughts. I love that she just walks in and tells Ron that she is engaged but I love even more that she has left the room to tell him who later... I cant wait to see who he takes it and the outcome. I will look out for the next one. Report Review
I love the book Just Listen so I had to come read this. I like that you get that very alone feel until the flashback. Its very much that Cassie is a strong women. Also that we don't know her name until the flashback, it adds that she is trying to keep to herself. I love that she finds the ring and that she puts it on. I think that the quote very much fitted its use in that she would always be able to find him. Report Review
I like that at the start you have James looking back on the past that he wasn't around for, but it was like him looking at the way peoples life's had turned out that had been in his shoes. His friends seemed to have good rhythm with each other and the conversion flowed along. I also think that it was great that you have James in Ravenclaw and that he is still coursing trouble but he is studding. Report Review
This was different. I liked that you never know what he had done wrong and that at the end, even now I still want to know what happened. The questions from that first paragraph that I was asking myself still applied though out but some it get answered. I like that it all came from a bet. Also I like that it was just about the two of them.Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it.
While I was writing this, I created a whole backstory about what he did.. and what she did. But as you said, it's better this way.. (:
I might even upload that back story later if people are interested.
Thank you again! x Report Review
I liked it, it was happy at the end for him but not for her. I liked that she knew it was wrong but she wanted it to be right. But then was it really wrong unless he was with her cousin at the time. The way the you describe thing was really good. The colour of there eyes. I enjoyed this shot journey that I went on with them wish it could have been longer.Author's Response: Thank you. And yes, I wanted to make it clear that he got the happy ending, but she didn't. Yes, he was with her cousin while they had their fling. Thank you, again. In the beginning, I planned for it to be a bit longer, but this just felt right to stop it here.
Jennie Report Review
I like that he was the one that sent the note. I believe that Rose's reaction to it was him was played out well. The reason for not liking each other are very much true reasons that you would have thought they wouldn't have picked up. I like that they will be writing to each other I wonder how that will go down and how the family will take it. By the way even though there is you tenses thing going on you do have good flow and even from the last one to this.Author's Response: Hello again. I like that he was the one who sent the note, too. This is based off Sirrah though, in which Rose says she was confronted by Scorpius, but the note was never mentioned.
I am glad you liked her reaction to him and how she handled the situation, and how they understood why they didn't like each other (while in Sirrah that's kind of exactly why Sirrah won't give in to James). They will be writing to each other, although I'm not sure how I am going to do that... I really haven't planned this story out that well, just kind of winging it.
Are my tenses noticeable? Mainly it was annoying me because I wrote it in present tense and then tried to change them all to past tense because she was telling what already happened. I am hoping at some point though I will be able to return to the present tense... or maybe I could return the whole thing to present tense... I don't know. Like I said, even though I am basing it off Rose and Scorp from Sirrah Malfoy, I really have no idea where it's going.
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!
xxEnigmaticEyes16 Report Review
I like that is just a small opener and that you have used this letter to draw me in. I like that you haven't got a clue as to who it is. I also like that you have said that James would come with her. I cant wait to see how this goes down. I like Roses Voice to its not like your Sirrah's its her own.Author's Response: HI! Thanks! I did want to add more to this chapter, but decided to keep it short and leave it as a little intro. Although, I never said James would come with her, just that Rose wouldn't tell James--or anyone else--because she didn't want anyone coming with her. I'm glad you're excited to see what's going to happen though, and also glad that you don't think Rose sounds like Sirrah because they are very different.
xxEnigmaticEyes16 Report Review
Mandrake toenail ewww. Just saying.
I like how there can be two conversations going at once, like they may not be with the same person throughout but the way that you place them they aren't forgotten. They are spaced out so they feel life like and also not to much so you can still keep up. I also like that you don't repeat it.
Oh Colin Beasley!Author's Response: re: the mandrake toenail - well, it had to be something XD Thank you very much! I was wondering if there's too much conversation because I'm bollocks at writing descriptive paragraphs haha. But this answers it! Thank you very much for taking the time to review! Report Review
I like that James was able to talk to someone but I feel bad for him that in the end it looks like its going to backfire. But I know that I should be all for Amelia and not James but I think I am more backing him at this point. Even though in the last chapter I was backing her, I just cant make up my mind. I love that you have left it there it gives me so many things to think about and now how long it everyone knows is the biggest one.Author's Response: I'm backing James more then Amelia at points so don't worry about not being able to make up your mind because I can't either hehe :-D
I can't decide what side to be on at times hehe.
It won't be long until more people find out so keep tuned :-D
Thank you so much for your review and for reeading! Report Review
I like that there finally going back to school its been driving me mad to know how they would go when they go back and now its so close. I want to know how they are going to be to on another. James said that she was his friend, that moment made me want to jump up and down. She was able to see that he was seeing past crazy Cassie. Its like he now knows her and gets that she is just Cassie. I cant wait to see them at school.Author's Response: We shall see very sooon (or as long as it takes for me to get inspired and write the next chapter, which could be any length of time really).
Ah, James was cute and nice for a second there! Lets home he doesn't mess it up too royally. Thanks for the lovely review and hopefully there should be an update soon :)
AC Report Review
I have to say that I really enjoyed this chapter it had a great mix of things going on. I was in stitches when Harry came over and had that talk to Rose. I also love that you have Blake there to ask the questions that everyone wants to know but doesn't ask, even when he doesn't get the answer. Its like so close. I can wait to see what James is going to do. Or how Adele is going to go about this now. Can't wait for the next one! Report Review
I like that her mother had that over bearingness to her but it was like Percy was doing that talking for her. I love the line about being Paranoid and being followed with just saying that he is getting old. It was very insting to see how Molly and Alex intercated and the line that Meredith said at the end. Its like seting Molly to do just that. I look forward to knowing what happened there, what the secen of the crime was. Oh and I just have to say that this is written very good, its got great flow. Will be looking out for the next one!Author's Response: Well Percy is sort of a min-Mrs-Weasley with his head done in lol. I feel bad because he was such a twat in the books and I don't know, I always put all these bad characters on the road to redemption XD he did come back eventually, so (: I'm glad you like the Alex-Molly interactions; that's pretty much what the story is based around, or it will be in some time! Thank you so much for taking the time to write such a long, lovely review! Report Review
I like that you have Molly taking about movies at the start and then you gave this a very movie feel to it. I would have thought that movies made by wizards would have been better but as you say I guess the ones that use more imagination are better for the brain. I think that having her like movies makes her different and its very unWeasley to what I have seen. Oh and as for Albus doing the plumbing I can seeing doing as Mr Weasley would. Its funny.Author's Response: Thank you! Haha yeah, Albus doing the plumbing seems very uncharacteristic of him, and him actually managing to fix it was a bit much lol. Thank you very much :D Report Review
I am really glad that we now know what happened to Amelia and James. I am surprise to say that I didn't really see that coming but at the same time looking back the hints are there. I think that its really good to know that she still loves him so there is that little bit of hope there. I like that you ended it how you did there is so much that you can think to see what happens next. Look forward to the nest one.Author's Response: Heya love!
*Phew* so glad it wasn't predictable and I'm so happy that the hints worked.
As much as she hates him she does still love him so there is definately hope!
Thank you so very much for reading and the review hun! The next chapter is in the queue. Report Review
I love that fact that you dont get anyones name, the only one is McGonagall. But you know that its Scorpius. I think that it just makes you ask so many questions as to who it could be. I think that it was nice that before the end he had only looked at her once. I love that it was like she was trying to talk herself out of it only to have it happen. But she still wanted it. Only more becasue she know this may not be good for her. I also think the reason 'He was to perfect' was a really have to find a reason but it was just like being inside my own head. Great word!Author's Response: Thank you! I wasn't really even sure who it was when I wrote it. I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for the lovely review :) Report Review
I love the line, 'Dreams were not dreams'. That is very true. I like that this is something very different and that when I did get to the end I can see why the name Dancing. I feel that you at some points put more emotions behind the way they came out than others. But this is the kind of story that once you are almost at the end you can see the flow and how it has done it the whole time. You feel that its a bit choppy but then you get it and I love this. Good story but sad thoughts that they are based around.Author's Response: Hey!
I was going for a sort of different approach, so that's wonderful that you picked up on that! Yeah I see where you get that from, but then Nora's a kind of ... emotional mute if you will. She's not too open, and then there's some bursts of them. She's a little off-kilter ha ha.
Thank you so much! xo Report Review
I think that the flow of Lily's thought's really do run like your own thoughts would but not like they are random, you can see them running and turning. I like that there is this small divide with her family because as she puts it she is a Slytherin after all. But you can still see that family bond. Rose and Hugo was just like her just being there with James, like you can see the friendship was almost sibling like. It was very believable, its a good story and I find it a very different Lily than I have read. Report Review
I enjoyed your characters POV, it would have been great to get the name. I loved that you started the story with just her thoughts and about what they were. I don't think that I have seen that before it was good. The way you explained other characters to others was great but some of them, the ones with the brackets it was a little like you just didn't know how to make it to a sentence. I feel that having them in sentences would have added your flow but other than that I believe there was good flow it just stopped at those points.Author's Response: Thanks and really? I've seen it many times before! Its supposed to be like that, its supposed to be explaining them quite quickly and to show that she's kind of judgemental so its easy to put someone's whole personality into one line. Its not a good thing but that was the point. Its supposed to be in brackets as well because its just sort of on the back of her mind, she just comes up with these stereotypes almost automatically. But sorry that didn't come across. thanks for the review :) xx Report Review
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