Reading Reviews From Member: A_Drowning_Fish
  
49 Reviews Found

Review #1, by A_Drowning_FishAwake my soul: Of wishful thinking, girl talks and master plans.

16th March 2012:
I really like this story so far, and I hope that you continue! Hahah I really want to find out what happens... I can't believe it's only your first attempt at fanfiction- it's really good :) Also I really like the character of Arielle (and I love love that name too!!)

Your flow is excellent, and there were no major spelling/grammar errors that I could see. The only things I spotted is that the very first part of your story is in first person and then it moves to third and also your spacing becomes kind of strange after that section. I'm sure it wasn't anything you did because it always happens to me when I copy and paste :( I'm pretty sure you just have to go through manually to fix it which takes foreverr :/ But it isn't a big deal for your story, it might make it a bit easier to read is all.

Anyway, I'm sorry for the critisism, but I hope it helps.

Hope you update soon! :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review! Meant a lot to hear that :) I named her Arielle after Ariel from The Little Mermaid because that was my favorite childhood movie (and still is) 8).

The things you've mentioned I've noticed as well and I've gone through the first chapter trying to fix it, but I just can't get it the way I want it :( and the first person to third person switch also bugs me... I don't even know how that happened, but just for future reference the rest is all going to be third person. I can switch it, though if its too confusing...

I'll be updating every few days :) I have up to chapter 10 written so far, but I'm trying to steady myself in how fast I update them, so that they're more spread out...

Thanks, again! :)


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Review #2, by A_Drowning_FishEvacuate The Dance Floor: Using A Thing Called "A Brain"

12th December 2011:
I just wrote the longest review and my internet got turned off :( Anyway, I'll try again haha. Basically I really like this story so far, and I hope that you'll continue! I like the character of Lea so far, and I hope that we can learn more about her as it goes on. I LOVE the way you've written Sirius. He's such a complex character - I find him so so hard to write - but you've done a great job. His arrogance is just as I imagined hahah :))

I hope you don't mind me saying, but my only critisism would be that sometimes you change POV a little bit quickly. Even though it's in third person it can get a bit confusing. There were a couple of typos in the earlier chapters but overall it's fine in terms of grammer/spelling :) I'm so sorry for critisising, but hope it helps. I really like this story. It has a really good pace, and keeps you interested. It's also hilarious - the bit about Lily having dirty dreams about James was brilliant!! Oh & I LOVE your title :D

Anyway, hope you update soon! 9/10

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review! I really appreciate the time you took to write it, and I really appreciate the criticism you gave, never apologise for constructive feedback!

As I read through some of my earlier chapters I do see what you mean by the abrupt change of views between the characters, with so many of them it's kind of hard to give them all the attention they deserve, so hopefully I'll get better writing their thoughts.

I'm glad you like the story and characters. Thanks again for the review!


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Review #3, by A_Drowning_FishDemented: That Funny Little Feeling

12th December 2011:
Yay, you updated!! I guess you must have been editing it or something, because it kept appearing at the top of my favourite stories. So it was good to see a new chapter haha :)

I honestly loved this chapter. There were serious moments but at the same time it was enjoyable to read. Her sarcasm is spot on. I'm so glad their relationship is developing a bit more. It's good to see another side to him & even though it was a lot deeper, the conversation felt realistic.

And yay for upating at 4.30am! When everyone else is asleep is the best time to write I think (or I think until I read over it in the morning haha). Merry christmas and hope you update soon! 10/10

Author's Response: Yay! Thank you for leaving such a nice review! And, yes, there were some edits happening.

I love writing late at night though. I just don't get to do it as much as I would like because of school.

Merry Christmas!

~TFM



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Review #4, by A_Drowning_FishWendy Can't Fail: Anarchy in the U.K.

6th December 2011:
I just found this story and I love it!! I'll be adding it to my favourites as soon as I finish this review haha. You have really good pacing and all of your dialogue is very realistic. Aw ... Sirius is just so sweet ... and the last line was perfect. Truly, honestly perfect. I can't believe they're getting married though!
I'm trying to come up with some constructive crtisism here but I really can't think of anything. So I guess that can't be a bad thing :) Anyway this review is getting very repetitive but I can't say enough how much I enjoyed this!
The reason I found this is because I think (and I'm probably wrong) but I read a story of yours years ago before I had an account. I think it was something about Fatima? Anyway if that wasn't you I'm sorry and it probably seems really strange. I have the memory of a goldfish just about when it comes to remembering names let alone pennames :D
I'm glad I found this story anyway. I'm not sure if you're still updating or if you're even going to read this cos it's been a little while but I hope so.
x
Oh & your banner is gorgeous!!

Author's Response: Hello there,

I'm really glad you're enjoying the story! I love writing dialogue. It's my favorite part of the process, so I'm so happy to hear that you enjoy reading that particularly.

You read "My Name is Facetia," perhaps? I wrote quite some time ago. I'm surprised that there are any people around who remember. Yes, I'm that Abhorsen. Your memory's doing well for itself today.

I am still updating. I'm just slow. I had a really rough couple of months, but hopefully, I'll be able to carve out some time soon.

Thank you for your kind words,
Abhorsen


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Review #5, by A_Drowning_FishThe Adventures of Mary Sue Slytherin: The Adventures of Mary Sue Slytherin

3rd December 2011:
This was brilliant! I laughed so many times :) i haven't read anything like this before ... well nothing that was intentionally like this haha 10/10

Author's Response: Thanks for the review, glad you liked it!

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Review #6, by A_Drowning_FishDemented: A Steaming Cup of Awkward

29th September 2011:
I just found this story and it is AMAZING :) You're a really talented writer. I really liked the conversations between Elaina and her mum :) It's a really original idea and I especially like that you didn't make Elaina like Sirius right away ...
The only thing I'm not sure about is the relationship between Sirius and Regulus, but I guess we're only seeing about it from her pov. Anyway I have to go add this story to my favorties now, haha .
10 / 10

Author's Response: Oh thanks! Or...ευχαριστώ as I've learned in my Greek class! (Which is why updates are probably going to take a bit longer now...college and all)

Yeah, in this story, the relationship between Regulus and Sirius is a bit more tense than other stuff I've written (like "Brother Dearest"). But we'll address more of that later ;)

And yay for adding this to your favorites!

~TFM


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Review #7, by A_Drowning_FishHis Mother's Eyes: The Glimmer in His Mother's Eyes

2nd June 2011:
hey :) i haven't read a story like this in forever ! It is honestly amazing - i cannot say how much I love this! You're a brilliant writer. I want it to stay exactly as it is but i want it to be a novel so it can continue ... :)

I love that you show such a different side to who he is and ... basically everything else about his story ... hahah

i think you've made me want to start writing again :)

10/10

Author's Response: Hey thank you so much for reviewing!
I am really happy I was able to inspire you ! keep up the good work :)


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Review #8, by A_Drowning_FishThe Boys of Summer: Sliding Down A Hill of Grass at Midnight

5th October 2009:
Yay! You updated :)
I haven't been on the site for ages so when i saw you had THREE new chapters i hadn't read i was so happy. I seriously love this story.
I don't know if you remember but I said in another review that Ellie was a bit of a Mary-sue? Anyway, I'm sorry. Because she is definately not. She's really realistic, and since her dad is so protective it makes sense that fashion is one of her hobbies. Haha . . . i love how she gives everyone nicknames :P
This chapter was really good. The start was really funny and happy but when Sirius told his story it didn't seem out of place. Gah ... i wish I could write something like this. The only thing I would say (don't hate me!!) is that i'm not sure Sirius would talk about his family quite so freely. It was fine, but I can't really see him telling her everything in one go.
Anyway, i love this story and it's a great idea! Update soon!

And rolling down hills is amazing XD

Author's Response: Yes I did! Lol.

Yes, I remember, but you don't need to apologize. In ways, I see where you would think she's a Mary-Sue. I mean, she's very well rounded and all. But I really hope she's not like those typical fan fiction OCs, you know, the ones that are witty and pretty and all? Haha.

You're right about Sirius talking so freely about his family. He didn't go too far into it, but he did give Ellie a lot of information. Really, that was just to show that there is a connection between them. He makes Ellie feel normal and she makes Sirius open up. It's soon, I know.

Thank you so much!


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Review #9, by A_Drowning_FishThe Boys of Summer: Sexy-Four-Eyes, Gorgeous, and my Humiliation

23rd July 2009:
I was so happy when I saw you had a new story up :)
This is a really good story!!
I love how original all of your ideas are. The fact that she has a disability isn't anything I think I have ever read on HPFF.

The only problem I have with this story is that she has a few Mary Sue-ish qualities. The long, blonde hair, being pretty, having boys falling all over her.
Although, that's not a real problem as long as it doesn't end up being totally over the top. And the fact that she can't walk isn't exactly mary-sue and she doesn't SOUND like one ... if that makes sense? I think it would be good if she describes her disability a it more, so we can get a better sense of how she feels.
Okay. So it doesn't really make sense, but hopefully you understand what I'm rabbiting on about.
I'm writing a story about a muggle at the moment as well ... but mine's about a muggle who goes to live in Hogsmede with her family :) I'm not sure if I'm going to post it, but hopefully it will turn out okay :/
Lol! This story made me laugh so hard! Especially the D-one and D-two bits! It definately doesn't suck. I love it!!!

Wow. This review ended up being huge. Sorry about the critisism, but i hope I helped ...
Please continue! 98750873987/10

Author's Response: I was really very happy to get a new story up. lol. Thank you. I like being original. it makes me happy that i'm succeeding.

Oh dear, I don't want her to be a mary sue. You see, she had the blond hair and she's pretty, but really boys don't fall over her as much as she makes it sound. Back before Ellie was paralyzed, she was a flirt. She explains that later on, but her being a flirt made her come off as easy which is how her love-life was so active back before the accident. Boys just don't randomly fall over her. lol. And James and Sirius were a little embarrassed that they got caught.

I understand exactly what you mean. This being the first chapter, I didn't want it to be all about Ellie crying that she can't walk. Later though, when she gets closer to James and Sirius she will become more open to her limits and even have a few arguments with the boys over it. Being wizards, they don't quite get the concept of being paralyzed as much as a muggle would.

Aww, you should post it. I don't know why, but the whole muggles finding wizard thing seems incredibly interesting to me. i'm actually going to start looking around for some muggle fics.

Aww, i'm glad i got you laughing. i don't want to TRY and be funny because that never works, so i'm relieved that i'm making someone laugh. :)

I LOVE long reviews. and i LOVE criticism.
Thanks so much! :)


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Review #10, by A_Drowning_FishWith all my Love, Regulus: Change Starts Somewhere

14th July 2009:
I love this story! It is written beautifully, and youve really captured Regulus' emotions. I love stories about him, and this is honestly one of the best Ive read :)

I feel so sad for him though - Sirius is almost cruel to him. I mean . . . he's his brother. :( You really captured how young and I supose innocent regulus is, especially when he went to the station to make sure his brother was alright! That was so sweet xD

This story also has a wonderful pace. When i read it I almost feel as though I am there, it is that good!

The only critisism I have is that there are a few grammatical errors, but mostly it's fine. Sometimes you might need to start a new sentence, that sort of thing.

Please update soon, I LOVE this story!! 10/10

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I\\\'m really honored to hear that it\\\'s one of the best you\\\'ve read. I truly think I\\\'m blushing right now. Sirius is a bit cruel by nature sadly but he doesn\\\'t mean it! He\\\'s just distracted... he truly does care for his brother.

I am aware that I need to get a beta for this fic. I just haven\\\'t taken the time yet to hunt for one. I suppose I probably should. I\\\'m hoping to write more here soon! (My muse for other things have hijacked me away a bit.)

(Sorry about the slashes they are placed in against my will!)


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Review #11, by A_Drowning_FishMy Possibly Crazy Neighbours: Detour

13th July 2009:
Haha! This chapter made me laugh so hard!! Mellie/Sirius action is wonderful, of course.
I was just wondering . . . when is Mellie going to realize that there is such a thing as magic?
I can't wait - it will be so funny when she does xD
Update soon! 627482937428/10 :)

Author's Response: Woot! Glad it made you laugh, and glad you liked the Mellie/Sirius action.
And that's a very good question, but I don't know the answer to it yet. I'm still trying to decide.
Thanks so much for reviewing!
:)


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Review #12, by A_Drowning_FishDiamond.: A Pretty Picture

13th July 2009:
Oh my God . . . this chapter is amazing scary but amazing.
And the end is just creepy. I loved this chapter though.
It was absolutely beautifully written and full of amazing imagery, as always.
How many chapters are there until the end now?
. . . i seriously don't want it to finish :(
Please update soon! 10/10

Author's Response: three chapters left. I know. I don\\\'t want it to finish either, but dragging on a plot for hte sake of it is definitely not in my intent, and I won\\\'t kill my story just because I love my characters too much. Hopefully once this is done I can get thinking of better stories. =D
Thanks for the review.
xx


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Review #13, by A_Drowning_FishA Most Profound Quiet: So easily I am forgotten

12th July 2009:
Yay! I love this story, I really do :)
You did a GREAT job writing the present tense - i personally find it really difficult to write . . .
I also really like the way you write Regulus, he's a really complex character and i aboslutely love stories about him.

The only thing I didn't like as much was the mother - I think it would have been better if there had been a few more details about her . . . I also think it would have been better if the snitch was a real snitch, because i didn't really understand what a toy snitch would do. That section confused me a little, because I wasn't sure if it was when they were children or recently. I think it was when they were younger right . . . ? Lol, Im hopeless like that.

Sorry about all the critisism, but i hope it helps. Seriously, I LOVE this story! You are an amazing writer and I am sooo happy you're starting a new story. It is beatifully written and I hope you continue! :D

Author's Response: I\\\'m glad you love it!

And my God, it\\\'s nearly impossible for me sometimes. It takes SO much thought. It\\\'s really not funny. haha. But I figure I\\\'ll get used to it. Kind of. I hope.

I\\\'m in love with Regulus. I won\\\'t lie, I have the tendency to fall in love with fictional characters. Regulus is in my top. :P

Lol. I think I put in there that they were very young. Sirius was still the golden son and Regulus was the back up incase Sirius screwed up. The toy snitch, well I made it up but I\\\'m sure if there were real toy snitches they would do something similar to what a real snitch would to. Like a toy broomstick. lol. I was scared of writing Reg\\\'s mom, I won\\\'t lie. I hate writing really mean characters. But i\\\'ll keep details of her in mind for the future. Because we WILL be seeing her again, most definitely.

Thank you so much! I\\\'m glad you like it. And i LOVE nice criticism. Not the mean kind, but like what you gave me. It does help. :)


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Review #14, by A_Drowning_FishMy Possibly Crazy Neighbours: Serious

27th February 2009:
Oh wow i love this story even more now! Oh my god Sirius is definately the sexiest, shiniest boy now to all of boydom and beyond. And he doesn't exist. That is so sad.
Have you read Confessions of Georgia Nicolson? Cos this sounds kinda like those books but waay better.
Anyway, 10/10

Author's Response: I know, I wish he existed. I would fight Mellie for him.
I looked up Confessions of Georgia Nicolson, and I think I've read one of them, but not in a long time, I rembember it was pretty good, so thanks a bunch for the compliment!
Thanks for the awesome review!


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Review #15, by A_Drowning_FishFifteen.: Fifteen.

26th February 2009:
Aw - i love this story.
Its so sweet! i only wish it was longer, but oh well. I listened to the song Fifteen with the story, and it fits really well. i especially love the way you use shorter sentaces; it really adds to the whole effect of the story.
i wrote a one-shot on Taylor Swift's song, Forever and Always if you'd like to check it out and tell me what you think. Thanks ^_^
Anyway . . . who are they? i saw in another review you said that we'd never guess so I'm think Slughorn/OC.
Lol just joking! Actually is it James/OC? And is the redhead Lily?
LOVE the story! 10/10

Author's Response: Hey :)

Thankyou!! Sure, I'll check it out (:
Haha, nope :P Both girls are OC's actually :D

Thanks x


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Review #16, by A_Drowning_FishPlan B: The Failure of Plan A

13th February 2009:
haha - i can't wait to see what plan b will be! :)

i really like your characterization (uh . . . how do you spell that???) of lucy. It's really original . . . or in her case, unoriginal. ^_^

but please, please please don't make her clumsy. i don't know how many stories i've read with uber clumsy characters, but its a LOT. so don't.

Anyway . . . i really like this story! update soon. 10/10!

Author's Response: She's not clumsy, so don't worry there...she's just a bit shallow. She's endearing though (to me, at least...that might have something to do with the fact that I'm the author of the story though!).

Plan B Will be introduced in the next chapter, so keep an eye out for it. Thanks for the review! I really appreciate it!


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Review #17, by A_Drowning_FishMy Possibly Crazy Neighbours: Evidence

8th February 2009:
Wow.

I love this story! bahahahahahahaha

It is absolutely hilarious. i can't wait until she meets "serious"! ^_^

Please update soon! Thanks!

485907489572389/10

Author's Response: Hah, I'm so glad you love it. And I'm so glad you found it funny. And I'll update asap! Thanks for reviewing, and for the really high rating!

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Review #18, by A_Drowning_FishDiamond.: Survival of the Fittest

1st February 2009:
No . . . only five chapters till the end?
Benjy has joined the Slytherins - that can't be good. lol
i really liked how you wrote this chapter. Her transition was belevable and you managed to skip from Christmas to school without me going . . . huh? i thought it was christmas? - like you do with some stories. does that even make sense? ? ?

Anyway, you have a really good pace and i hope Amy and Sirius get together properly soon. ^_^

Hope you get well soon!

10/10 (only cos the rating doesn't go any higher, mind you)
Update soon!

Author's Response: Sadly, yes. It's strange that it's come to this point, but so much happens in these five chapters, that I don't quite feel like the end is near yet. Also, we all know that final chapters are crucial, so how about praying that I'll get it right? :D (i've never attempted an ending so major before, I'll have you know...)

Lol. No indeed. It's not that he's joined any Slytherins, he's joined Voldemort supporters. Stupid boy. But I'm not giving anything away about him, no sir-ree! You weren't trying to trip me up, were you? Because that would just be mean! :))
I'm glad you liked it. I was really trying quite hard on keeping a steady flow, a distinct sense of time to avoid exactly what you mentioned here, so I'm glad it's paid off. :) I like to think that I didn't really skip it though, it just happened in narration instead of wording everything out, so to speak.

=) you'll just have to read on to see what happens! I promise I shall not make any promises =)).

thanks for the review!
x


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Review #19, by A_Drowning_FishThe Road of Thorns: Enter: Stray Dog?

1st February 2009:
haha! i love this story.
^_^ lol - ivy is hilarious.
update soon!
10/10

Author's Response: I will update soon!
I can't even believe people reviewed! This is ahmayzing!
Thank you SO much!
-bella


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Review #20, by A_Drowning_FishAs Clichd as It Sounds...: Athena's Confession

27th January 2009:
Umm. To be honest i think this story is . . . bloody amazing!

You write really well! Aw . . . i can't help but feel sorry for Lily and Alice for being lied to . . . though they didn't really seem to care . . . lol! Somehow I think she may be turning into one of "those girls". She's still a believable character, though.
I mean, i hate stories where the main character goes on and on and on about how much they like Sirius and how gorgeous he is but Oh no, it would NEVER be the reason they like him.

Why don't you have more reviews for this story? ? ? ? Anyway, I can't wait until it's Rodolphus's POV. He is so evil . . . LOVE the preveiw! "I gestured to the group of Slytherins gathered behind me, all smirking at the teardrops sliding down her brave little Gryffindor face"

bahahahahahahahahahaha

ahem. Anyway, update soon! And do you think you could check out my story? Thanks :)

897498327598275892/10 ^_^

Author's Response: OMG! You made me a little nervous as the start! Haha. I'm glad you like it so much; my main concern was to make her believeable, but still a Mary Sue in a sarcastic light, as this is a satire. It'll be getting more satire-y as it goes along.
Rodolphus is simply amazing to write! So sardonic and... sadistic. Haha. I wrote the whole chapter, but MY COMPUTER CRASHED! Yeah, some demented virus attacked it and erased all my memory... which sucks really bad, cause that included my photoshop, too. >.>
But anyway, thank you so much for the review! I'm so glad you like it so much! :) I will update as soon as possible.


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Review #21, by A_Drowning_FishIt's A Funny Story.: What? How? When? WHY?

18th January 2009:
Oh wow. I love this story. A lot.
Yeah, well don't delete it or abandon it and why the hell did the bad reveiwer people bother to leave a reveiw for a story they hate? Its a GREAT story and VERY funny and really really original. So keep going! ^_^

Author's Response: yeah i guess:(

it wuz sad :(
they told me to stop writing and that i wasnt funny at all.


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Review #22, by A_Drowning_FishForever Young: The Bubblegum Accident

8th January 2009:
This is a really good start to the story! ^_^ Can't wait to see what happens when she goes back to Hogwarts . . .
Oh and do you think you could check out my story - Who I Am?
Amazing first chapter and update soon!
10/10 ^_^

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Review #23, by A_Drowning_FishWhat I Want and What I Have: Bringing Things Together

4th January 2009:
omgomgomg!

i love this story! its a really original idea! ^_^

is it abandoned though? If not please update soon . . . please . . .

Anyway 10/10 for this chapter!

Author's Response: aw thanks...but yeah it pretty much is abandoned i really doubt that i will get back to it, but maaaybe

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Review #24, by A_Drowning_FishMore Than Fine: Mission Accomplished...No Mission Failed.

28th December 2008:
This chapter is fantastic! I loved the part with Bellatrix - how evil can you get?

You write really well and really originally. I LOVE this story!

Update soon! ^_^

Author's Response: Thank you! I will update soon, hopefully before the new year!

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Review #25, by A_Drowning_FishA Cursed Gift: The Marauders(Present)

19th December 2008:
Yay! another chapter! i absolutely loved this chapter and thought it was AMAZING! You managed to do the whole pillow fight/new maruader/james's twin and not make it seem totally cliche.

I can't wait to read the next chapter "present* parts are my favaurite bit!

update soon!

Author's Response: Oh my word I am so happy to hear that! I was thinking about scratching that part cause it seemed a bit corny but you changed my mind for me!

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