Reading Reviews From Member: ravenclaw_princess
  
637 Reviews Found

Review #1, by ravenclaw_princessHermione Granger and the Dead Man's Mark: Chapter One

27th November 2014:
Hello. I'm here for our review swap. I was quite intrigued by you story summary and I'm looking forward to reading further.

I have to say, I was a little daunted when I saw the length of the chapters, but the writing was so good that I was dragged in instantly and the chapter didn't feel long at all.

You have created a very rich world with you writing. No part of Azkaban was left untouched in your description. You really painted the picture and created Azkaban as a character in itself. You showed what Azkaban was like through your descriptions and interactions of characters within its wall, rather than just telling the reader what its like. No details seemed to be left out and I really like the part about how, without the Dementors, the wildlife was starting to encroach on Azkaban and the rate deterioration was increasing. That part just really stuck with me for some reason.

Weston was really nicely characterised. I liked his reasons for volunteering for guard duty. He sounds like he lacks a little confidence in himself and follows rules to the letter. I hope to see him develop further, but even if he is left behind at this point, I enjoyed reading his part and he gave a unique glimpse of guard duty life.

The discovery of the body was an interesting part. More so in the fact that, compared to everywhere else, there was a severe lack of detail. It made it very mysterious and I wonder if they saw more than just a body...I guess I'll have to wait and see.

I also like Imogen and thought she was nicely characterised. I find it interesting how she's in the same art as her father, yet wants nothing to do with him. The magical tattooing sounds pretty neat and again, it was nicely shown through the interactions between characters rather than just describing how it works. You're pretty good at the 'show', don't 'tell' thing :)

You're writing is lovely and I thoroughly enjoyed this chapter. I will move onto the next chapter shortly, but real life will keep me busy over the next few days.

Jacqui

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Review #2, by ravenclaw_princessheaven: can't help me now

20th November 2014:
Hi, here for the BvB review

This was such a lovely story. AS I was getting further and further towards the end I was kind of getting a little sad because Lily was so certain the relationship was going to end, and I was thinking no no no no no no.it can't end, they're so sweet together. It definitely kept me engaged with the story and kind of on the verge of tears. Thankfully though, the 'break up' part of the story was kindly written, saving me from becoming a blubbering mess, and then things got happy again :)

I loved the flow of the story. there was a nice transition between different events and the dates worked well in this story to show the passage of time. This method can sometimes break the flow of a story, but I think here, it enhanced it. Each section showed a unique and powerful snap shot of their time together, avoiding the need for filler paragraphs.

I loved Lily's characterisation. I've always enjoyed writing her and I can be a bit picky with how she's portrayed (I don't like the spoilt brat type), but I think you got her spot on. She has a spark within her, but she's not pretentious. I do wonder why she was so sure that the relationship would end though. This sort of thought usually brings about destroying the relationship for the mere fact you think it will end. Could be for many reasons, but i kind of got the sense that Lily didn't think she was good enough for him, and that he would get bored of her and move on.

There were a few spelling errors, but easy things to pick up with another read through.

Lovely story. It was so much fun to read and I'm very glad there was a happy ending.

Jacqui x

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Review #3, by ravenclaw_princessTwo: A Perfect Blend: Blended Christmas

18th November 2014:
Hi. Here for the review battle.

This is such a cute little story, you have me wishing for the holiday season right now.

I loved Rose's memories of Christmas. I think you interpretation of a Weasley Christmas is spot on. I can definitely imagine lots of people, far too much food which somehow all gets demolished and lots of laughter, presents and good fun. You really captured the joy of the day with really good descriptions and imagery.

In comparison though.poor Scopius. his Christmas day is so sad with no joy at all. The stark contrast between them was so well done and I could feel Scopius' sadness just as much as I could feel Rose's happiness. I loved how the same traditions of food and presents were there, but shown so differently between the households. It was also sobering to see how sad Scoprius was, he could have any material thing he wanted, but all he really wanted was some love.

It was nice seeing Scopius break free from his parents and experience a semi-Weasley Christmas at Hogwarts and then eventually a real one at the Burrow. And the Weasley's just accepted him so easily into their homes.

This is really well written and was so much fun to read. Good job.

Jacqui

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Review #4, by ravenclaw_princessSeven: Seven is the most magical of numbers.

14th November 2014:
Hi, here for the review battle.

I was really intrigued with the summary and the use of 'seven' and I had to see what it was all about. You definitely didn't disappoint. It was such a clever way of writing and you should give yourself a big pat on the back for the ingeniousness of it. And for the fact you pulled it off. I imagine there was probably a fair bit of editing to get the paragraphs to fit the word count. I also love how the story itself is 777 words.

This pattern lead to quite a cool story flow and the story came across quite poetic. I liked the use of the clipped sentences. You could understand what happened so easily without too much detail. Such as "Dorrie is gone - Voldemort." Its so simple, yet conveys everything. And it loses none of the emotion.

You've summed up poor Sirius' life really well and also conveyed his emotions on the events. As a reader, I was taken an a lovely journey of his life, laughing with him, crying with him, feeling his pain.

Great job on this story. Its really clever and so well put together. It was such a fun story to read.

Author's Response: Hiya!

Wow. Thanks so much for this awesome review. I'm so glad you enjoyed this story!

Yay - I'm so glad you thought it flowed well and was fun to read. It did take a bit of editing to get each paragraph just right. Either the word count was off, or I wasn't able to say what I wanted. But - I'm relieved it came off alright.

Yeah - that line is a humdinger. It really conveyed so much in only four words.

I still smile every time I read this review. Thanks so much. Sorry it took me so long to respond :(

♥ Beth


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Review #5, by ravenclaw_princessfleshwounds.: we found each other hungry.

11th November 2014:
Hi, here for the review tag

This is a very interesting piece of writing. I really like the abstract nature of it. Its basically an extended metaphor of imagery between the the two of them. I knew if was Tom and Minerva because of the summary, not sure I would have picked it up on my own, but knowing who it was, I could see reference to them. The claws being the Cat like attributes of Minerva and the Tom just being this other worldy body.

I sensed alot of lust between them, drawn together out of pure need and desire more than through love. Yet they constantly tore each other apart, relishing in the pain of it all.

Its a very poetic piece, monstrous yes, but not everything in this word is daisies and candy floss. I loved the raw and powerful imagery. You held nothing back with your writing and delved into the dark places of the human spirit. Awesome work.

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Review #6, by ravenclaw_princessMonster: Monster

8th November 2014:
Hello. This story was definitely creepy, and it got quite suspenseful towards the end. It started very innocently and you captured the youth well in the dialogue. I like the progression of Rose's age and how she can't shake off the unease of the woods, even though her 'teenage/adult' mind is telling her she's imagining things.

From the moment the vampire appeared I was starting to feel a little tense, wondering what was about to happen.and then when she went to the house...it was one of those moments where I wanted to hold my hands over my eyes so I couldn't see what was happening, but couldn't because then I wouldn't be able to read.

I like how it was written in 2nd person, it makes it feel like you are living the story. It's not always the easiest style to write in, but I think you've done it quite well. I didn't notice any issues when reading and it all flowed nicely.

The other thing I like is the use of shorter sentences, especially towards the end. It makes things a little more blunt and calculating and adds to the suspense of the story.

I notices a couple of small errors at the beginning, nothing major.
1) you stare 'into' her brown eyes
2) with 'this' thought in mind

I think you've done a wonderful job and its well written. Now, I think I better go read some romantic fluff to get the horrible images out of my head before it gives me nightmares.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing! I am pleased you found this creepy and suspenseful. I always have trouble with dialogue so it's great you found that good, along with the age progression.

This is the first time I wrote second person so I was a bit apprehensive, but thank you for easing my worries.

The shorter sentences are a technique I love so I am glad you liked that too.

Thanks for pointing out those errors, I'll fix them asap.

Thank you once again for this lovely review =)


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Review #7, by ravenclaw_princessNot At All Extended: Not At All

7th November 2014:
*sob* this was really sad but I liked it none the less. It was well crafted, kind of poetic, and I liked the use of repetition. Each stanza detailed another part of Hermione which was shutting down as she crept closer and closer to death. The sentences were well crafted and very descriptive, painting a heartbreaking tale of Hermione's physical state as well as her mind as she realised her fate.

I also liked how there were so few words in this story, and the few there were, were so powerful.

Amazing story. Well done

Author's Response: *sobs* I'm sorry it made you sad. But I'm also glad because that's what I intended in the first place! :O confusedcarla is confused.

Thank you.. I'm glad you liked the repetition. That was the line that really haunted me all throughout the before, during and after the writing of this so it made sense to use it as I did.

I'm glad you think the words were powerful. Your words make me smile. Thank you..

--Carla


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Review #8, by ravenclaw_princessFit: Rendezvous

6th November 2014:
What I lovely story. I loved how it began, with no dialogue and no names being given. The use of language wove such an eloquent picture that the disposition of both characters was really clear. It really draw me into the scene and held me there.

I really like the characterisation of Snape and Hermione. It's not an easy type of relationship to have and I can fully understand Snape's hesitation. You could also see his pain and that wonder in him of how someone like Hermione could love him. Hermione showed her strong personality but also that vulnerability when faced with heartbreak.

This was beautifully written. I was drawn to it by the quote (I love Notting Hill) and you wove it into the story so well.

Author's Response: Thank you! Yes, I was quite lucky in getting this quote. I was completely and totally inspired by it!

Anyway, thank you. I seem to do that a lot, now that I think about it... Draw people in to read by not giving any names. It's either that or I just really love my pronouns. Could go either way. haha

Yes, I think I love Snamione so much because it's not a charmed existence. They're going to have troubles, they're going to have bumps but if they survive it then it's going to be worth it. And, yes, I was empathizing with both of them as I was writing. I didn't actually know if it was going to be a sad or happy ending before I wrote the happy ending. haha

Anywho, thank you for the fantastic review!

--Carla


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Review #9, by ravenclaw_princessmaybe, once.: maybe, once.

18th October 2014:
This was an interesting take on Barty/Reg but I liked it. It really showed Barty's vulnerability, hurt and anger. He knows the truth of where Reg's heart lies, and tries to get him to see if too, but is cast aside.
And Reg...he knows the truth too but is denying it for an 'easier' life where he will be accepted but is lying to himself about what he truly is. He comes across quite harsh, but it works like that, his anger at having to deny what he feels is being channeled onto Barty.
It was beautifully written and the emotion of the characters is really well done. I feel kind of sorry for Barty...which isn't something I ever thought I'd say. Well done.

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Review #10, by ravenclaw_princessBend or Break: Four Years Later

5th December 2013:
Very nice. I did find the time jump a little fast at the beginning of the chapter. It took a while for me to settle into the new time and place, work out why Draco was there, what was the relationship, what had happened between them. But the details did fall back into place as I continued to read.

You call Rose and Albus twins. I was wondering if you were meant to write Lily. Also, I'm pretty sure they aren't twins, but don't quote me on that.

The writing as usual was lovely and I'm loving the story. I like awkward Draco :)

Author's Response: OK I'm glad that the time jump worked. Yes, in my story the two children are twins because it works better for my time line. Awkward Draco is the best!

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Review #11, by ravenclaw_princessBend or Break: Coming to Terms

26th November 2013:
Good old harry, being the voice of reason. Hermione was obviously hurt, and while at the beginning it felt like she was over reacting but you nicely started to break down her emotions to the real core of her hurt, and this is what usually happens when someones trust is broken.

I like the awkwardness between Draco and Hermione, also it was good to see just a touch of Draco anger every so often. And i'm definitely intrigued why he doesn't carry a wand. Well done

Author's Response: Yes Harry is the one who would be the oracle-like person. Hermione is learning to deal and I'm having fun watching her do it. Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #12, by ravenclaw_princessBend or Break: Coward

26th November 2013:
Ahhh...this is a nice chapter, it built up well to the little cliffie. Its still got an air of mystery about it too. I like it. and now to read on as I have to know what this horrible girl has done.

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad this is interesting, I'm feeling out of practice.

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Review #13, by ravenclaw_princessBend or Break: Forged in Flames

11th November 2013:
I'm loving this. I'm totally getting my Dramione fix. The hug was nicely done and the awkwardness afterwards was very well crafted. Its nice to see the moments building up and while at this stage, there is nothing beyond friednship, you can see the trust developing and the enjoyment of each others company.

Author's Response: Yay! I'm so glad you're liking it and thinking it's well-crafted. You're always the best at letting me know :)

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Review #14, by ravenclaw_princessBend or Break: Fragile Friends

11th November 2013:
Very nice chapter. It was good to see some action coming in and a bit of a pebble in the road which is setting things off course. It's getting quite exciting :)

Author's Response: Yay! Thanks again!

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Review #15, by ravenclaw_princessBend or Break: Moving On

3rd November 2013:
It didn't feel rushed to me :) This is a slowly developing relationship after all, and I think you nicely summed up what had happened to bridge the gap and showed the developing feelings of each character. I'm liking this more truthful Draco.

I'm intrigued with Draco's activities while wandless. I'm looking forward to finding out what he got up to...

Author's Response: Okay bueno. I'm so into the slowly developing relationship it's crazy.

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Review #16, by ravenclaw_princessBend or Break: The First Thread

3rd November 2013:
Aww...that was the cutest little chapter. that was a very sweet moment Hermione and Draco just shared. For as much as the accident changed Hermione's life, it also changed Draco and he has to heal as well. It's so cool to see him working through all the emotions that the nights event and watching the slow change in him.

I like how you showed Hermione at the beginning of this chap. Grief is so personal and different for everyone. I like how she's now moving forward and remembering her time with Ron, rather than dwelling on the loss. It worked really well.

Lovely chapter as always.

Author's Response: I'm so glad that there's a sweetness to the couple. I'm glad that Hermione's ability to move on makes sense to you.

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Review #17, by ravenclaw_princessBend or Break: A Conversation

24th September 2013:
I like this chapter and I thought the characterisations were good. Hermione would have so many emotions going through her that its understandable that she has constructed strong walls to try and protect herself.
Draco shows hints of his old self but his more genteel manner is starting to shine through. He's aware of his mistakes of the past and is learning to control his triggers.
Hermione's reaction to him is believable. She's vulnerable and would hardly want someone around her and her son who have cause her so much pain. His recent actions cannot erase all the previous years pain and Hermioen will need time to see the genuine Draco.
Nice work.

Author's Response: Thanks, J :)
I'm glad that the character development is evident in Draco and that Hermione came off as believable.
As you know, I strive for believability with this ship!


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Review #18, by ravenclaw_princessBend or Break: Air

9th May 2013:
Nicely written as always :) It was a well crafted transition from the her darkest days to moving forward again. Sometimes it takes a good wake up call to remember that life continus and Jacks health gave her this.

As always, your writing was beautiful and delved deep into Hermione's troubled soul. I could really feel for her, the grief, the guilt, the overwhelming emotions. Well done.

Author's Response: Jacqui! Thank you so much for stopping by! You make me smile. I'm sorry you have a cold right now but am happy because it means you have time for my story and your writing! Yippee!!

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Review #19, by ravenclaw_princessA Brief Description on Life as a Ghoul: My Long Awaited Opportunity

10th February 2013:
Hehe, this is really hilarous and so clever. You certainly made a little mentioned character into someone with a huge personality. I liked his internal monologue and how much he looked down on the Weasleys as of inferior intellects, especially because you know the Weasley's are looking back at the ghoul and thinking the same thing.

Its a well crafted story and seems quite a plausable way of getting the ghoul to impersonate Ron. I think he could win that Oscar. Anyway, brilliant story. I was looking for a laugh and this story delivered.

Author's Response: Hi! I'm glad that you found it funny as that was my aim! Yes the ghoul was rather forgotten in the books, so here's his chance to get more of the limelight, and I think he liked his time in it. I'm glad that you liked the mirror thoughts, as you're the first person to actually pick up on it, and I thought it would be cool to do!

Yay he can get his oscar! Thank you for leaving such a great review :D


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Review #20, by ravenclaw_princessDiamonds: .

13th January 2013:
Wow, that was absolutely breath taking from the very first paragraph. So much imagry, so much passion and emotion. Its an amazing piece of writing.

I feel Hermione's despair. I imagine those first few years after the war were so tough on everyone as they wrangled with their emotional scars. Hermione's grief and longing seem so real, as well as her will to stay. It's like she can't quite let go of who Ron used to be.

I love how you described diamonds, I'm not much of a fan of daimonds either. Emerals are so much better :)

I didn't read who the pairing was in this story, the summary completely drew me in. I could see it being Harry (green to match his eyes) or Draco (green for slytherin). Either way, it's beautiful and I feel I can pick which either way I wish it to go.

My only minor point would be to put punctuation in her thoughts at the end as it runs together and is a little hard to read. Other than that, spelling and grammar are really good.

Well done. This is a beautiful piece of writing.

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Review #21, by ravenclaw_princessCarelessness: Lost in Darkness and Distance

6th June 2012:
Hello, I'm here for the review tag.

I found this piece quite sad. Its a nice reflection on loving someone who is lost and will never be there for you any more and how much losing them changes you and your own perspectives on love, life and lose.

The pain that the characters were suffering through swelled with the tone of voice and sentence structure you used, adding emphasis to their emotions. Be careful though not to make your sentences too long as the meaning starts to get lost. There was a very long one when Remus was thinking about Sirius.

Nice, story, but very sad. Its a shame to think that Tonks loved Remus so much but he didn't love her the same way back, and while she was with him in person, he wasn't really there at all.

Author's Response: Hello taggy-person.

I think you might be the only person to call this 'nice' - it's pretty messed up, really - but I know what you mean. Thank you. I wasn't intending to get all philosophical with this fic, but it seems to have happened anyway.

That giant sentence about Sirius was intentional, as I found that splitting it up into shorter, more palatable sentences didn't really create the rhythm that I wanted to. However, I do generally try to limit the huge sentences, because I think I'm the only person who likes them. It's a shame, really, but what can you do? :P

It's sadder in canon, I think. He just seems to outright hate her, especially in DH. My Remus is messed up but he's not *that* messed up.

Once again, thank you for reviewing. :)


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Review #22, by ravenclaw_princessA Man Barely Breathing: Malfoy vs. Malfoy - A File for Divorcement

4th March 2012:
Wow. Utterly breathtaking. Draco's heart break was so wonderfully depicted I could just about feel my heart breaking with him. I loved how your took us through their romance and their path to divorce, it showed how happy they had been, but how easily things can go awry.

I love your use of language and imagery and the whole story flowed seamlessly. I wonderful first chapter :)

Author's Response: Ravenclaw Princess,

What a wonderful review. Thank you so very much.

I wanted to show that they were happy without spelling out how the got together. It was keeping the relationship going that was difficult.

And in real life, 'happily ever after' is a bit unrealistic as relationships can be tough, but as depicted in this story, the storms people weather can actually bring couples closer together and grow stonger. It can happen.

On imagery... thank you so very much for this comment. I was at an outdoor party once and the people held it in an 'outdoor living space' of a grand gazebo. It was gorgeous and so I thought it would be a wonderful gift for Hermione and most certainly something that he could afford. ;)

Oh and that picture he gave the judge... I wanted it to almost tell the story... her gazebo, the path to his mother's grave, and them finally holding hands.

So thank you so much for that comment. It really warms my writer's heart.

You give me wonderful compliments.

Thank you!
Dark Whisper


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Review #23, by ravenclaw_princessInexplicably in Love: Unexplainable, Indescribable

16th February 2012:
Aww, this is so completely adorable. I loved it from the first sentence. It was so cool seeing Luna through Rolf's eyes. He didn't see her as peculiar like every one else, but her saw her as Luna, a beautiful, innocent girl who was so easy for him to love.

I love that Rolf tried, unsuccessfully I might add to quantify his love and try to explain it. But love just is, sometimes there is no way to explain it and he seemed to know this.

Luna was really well characterised. I loved the little moments when she was chasing the boys, and when she was in the lake. Can I just add...super adorably cute *squee*

The ending, especially the last line, was amazing. It really summed up their love and relationship. Love just happened for them, they just fell inexplicably in love :)

Awesome story. You are such a talented writer and I love the imagery and use of metaphor that you always weave in. It makes every story so enjoyable to read.

Author's Response: Thank you! I took on Rolf's POV because Luna seems too unique to try to even attempt to share headspace with :)

Yay for loving Rolf and Luna! I had SO much fun writing the little scenes between Luna, Rolf and the boys so I shall join you in Squeeing!

I'm so glad you loved it! I definitely went for making this just plain fluffy beautiful love-stuff and it makes me happy to hear that you enjoyed it!


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Review #24, by ravenclaw_princessBend or Break: Wake-Up Call

13th February 2012:
Good on Draco. I loved it when he stormed up to Hermione and told her what he thought. There comes a time when you need to come out with the cold hard truth, how ever painful it might be. I'm so glad that Draco was there to snap some sense back into Hermione. I'm also so happy he wants to help her.

It's interesting seeing Draco living without magic. I think it will do him good, to be at the very bottom and have to work himself back up. He's living life the hard way, so hopefully he stops taking things for granted. After what he's been through though, I'm pretty sure he wakes up everyday thankful to be alive.

Good job. I really love this story. The characterisations are so powerful and their emotions so deep. You are such a beautiful writer. I cant wait for the next chapter x

Author's Response: Hi, Jacqui! I thought Draco would be an appropriate person to shake her up (and not just because this is a Dramione). Yes, there's a reason for the lessened use in magic and we'll see that at some point in the doing chapters!

Thank you for loving this and I'm very happy that the people are coming along nicely.


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Review #25, by ravenclaw_princessOf Wolves and Wizards: Caught

13th February 2012:
You do action packed so well. I was totally enthralled the whole way through. I thought they had him there, but no. He had to get away.

Vic has grown so much from the start of this story. Naturally, she's still terrified, but she is fighting back and using some good common sense to help her survive.

Good job. I can't wait for the next chapter.

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