First of all, whoever made your chapter image is amazingly talented.
I am so surprised by your story. You were able to capture the wizarding world of the Founder's era very well and I could imagine the words being said and the Manor and everything. I love how you mention the village Seer and how you've included Veritaserum in it.
Overall, a very well done story! Again, the dialogue was just perfect and the characterisations of each of the characters seemed very believable, which is always a good thing ;) well done!!Author's Response: That would be smarticl398, and yes, she is amazing. I'll let her know!
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I feel like I say this to everyone, but I really do value your judgement and the fact that you enjoyed this means a lot to me.
So, again, thank you! :) Report Review
i've been wanting to read this chapter for ages but for some reason I never got around to it! But here's my review!!!
I loved the Marauder's interaction with Hagrid. It's always interesting to see different interpretations of the dynamic of their relationship.
Similarly, I found the way they called Peter 'Piggy' very heart-wrenching but I always love the way you write Peter's perspective. I don't know why but might just be the way it's so sad and miserable :(
Good job with this chapter, again!!Author's Response: Hello!
Thank you for reviewing! I feel that Hagrid often gets missed out in Marauder fics, but he's always been a part of my canon! :P I love writing Peter - he has one of the best plot lines to come. I really can't wait to start writing it!
Thank you for your lovely review, hope you like the new chapter! Keira :) Report Review
This is an interesting start! I've never actually thought of the life of a wizarding/witching radio broadcaster but now that I think about it, their life would actually be quite interesting. I'm not sure about the general characterisation of Next-Gen characters but I think (in my mind) Rose is normally portrayed as kind, so I find it very interesting that she's not in your story!
Also, you write well. The radio broadcast at the beginning seemed very believable and that's very hard to do! (I think, anyway!)Author's Response: Wow, thanks! I think it's something that a lot of people don't think of (I certainly didn't, anyway). I agree that the life would be very interesting, which is really why I chose to portray it. Hmm, Rose is one of the few characters that really walked into my mind, so to speak. She just sort of sat there and I knew what to write for her, so it's lovely to know that she's at least a little different in interesting.
Wow 100% thank you that's the greatest compliment for a writer! I listened to a lot of radio news broadcasts in preparation, so it's good to know I got it right.
Thank you so much for offering the review! Report Review
I love how you bring us deeply into the wizarding world. Sometimes I find other stories lacking in the subjects and the actual use of magic, but this one is very true to canon in regards to that. I love seeing how the professors talk and deal with seventh year students, because we never get to see that in the books. It's very interesting.
And oh the last sentence where Umbridge comes in. sdgiwiogw my hate for her just comes flooding back! You're really good at that :PAuthor's Response: I've had a couple of other people say that, which makes me wonder what else they're reading - how can you write HP fanfic without delving into the wizarding world? That is, admittedly, why I write fanfic though - I love the wizarding world and exploring the details of it.
I think the teacher-student dynamic would change by the time they reach seventh year (or at least that was my experience with school.) It is one of those things that wasn't explored much in the canon, which draws me to it like a moth to a flame.
I'll take that as a compliment - making you hate Umbridge as much as the books originally did. That's high praise indeed :P
Thank you so much for the reviews! Report Review
This was very interesting. I really loved how you described the lay out of the Slytherin Common Room and the hierarchy within it.
I find the second part - the interaction between the girls - also very interesting. It introduces another story line and that's very believable because school does normally contain a hundred and one story lines happening with it, so nice one with introducing that to us!Author's Response: I find Slytherin such a fascinating house and the dynamic within it would be really complex and unique - a simmering cauldron of ambition, competition, superiority and self-centredness. Slytherin has a terrible reputation in the books, of course, but I can't imagine that reflecting the core values of the house.
There are multiple storylines in this one, though they are all linked in some way, as you'll see later. Thanks for the review! Report Review
Oh my goodness, Fred and George here are so hilarious!
"Always look at the knees, miss, can't go wrong -" sdohggw that part was so funny!!!
I really, really love the idea behind this story. It is very intriguing and I might've said this in the previous reviews already, but I really love it. The perspective is so different, yet familiar in a way.
Anyway, I'm sorry I didn't review any earlier! I forget about things easily :$Author's Response: I love Fred and George (who doesn't?) so it's extremely gratifying to know I've characterised them well and that they're coming across just as funny as they were in canon.
A lot of people have said that they love the idea behind the story, which is awesome because sometimes I think following the established canon isn't very original, but it is a different perspective and I love writing it.
I'm glad you're enjoying it and thank you for the review! Report Review
Ahh!! This was so beautifully written I felt shivers running downm my back! It was so great.. It was so vague yet so mesmerising. Everything about this story worked really well :)
I really, really loved this quote:
He was born for greatness.
It was so simple but, for some reason, it really struck me. Sirius was born for greatness. Wow sdkgniwgnwg.
Really, good job with writing this! I really loved it.Author's Response: Thank you so much! I love random reviews! I'm really happy you liked this one - it's an oldie but one of the better ones. Thank you so much for reviewing! Report Review
Ack I honestly love the way you write! It's captivating and flows very, very well that I don't want it to stop!
One point that I honestly loved:
Potter shoots me a derisive look. "Go to hell."
I cackle, "Oh, but I'm already there."
I love Lila so much and this chapter gave a lot of food for thought. Roxanne? very, very intriguing character. and what ever happened to Lavender? another very interesting plot line happening there.
I love this story :D that's all I can say!Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much, that is such an amazing thing to hear. :D I LOVE YOU FOR THIS REVIEW. It means a lot to me. Thank you.
xxx Report Review
I love how you alluded to the moment where Neville finds the Room of Requirement as a hideout! Also, I really loved how you portrayed Amycus. We don't know much about the Carrows and the way you portrayed him seemed very reasonable and realistic, especially through the things he said.
It was a story that actually made me smile out of amusement (I don't know if that was intentional or not but either way, it worked! :P), simply because of the idiocracy (is that even a word?) of the Slytherins!
Good job with it :DAuthor's Response: I don't remember reading if we know how Neville got to the Room of Requirement so I thought I'd do a fic on it. :)
It was originally going to be a sort of parody but then it sort of had that more serious-y undertone? I don't know, but I'm glad someone thought it was amusing! :p
THANKS FOR REVIEWING AGAIN! ♥ ♥ Report Review
I found this one-shot so sdghwgw cute. Each year was very succinct and I love how you made it a tradition! I was devastated when my eyes automatically skipped down to see "You may kiss the bride," before reading the year before it because it would have been a beautiful, stunning surprise to have read that without expecting it!!
Hehehe, regardless this was such a nice, cute little story and I loved reading it!Author's Response: Aww thanks! I'm always guilty of reading the end first, but I have tried to train myself not to do it! :p
I'm glad you liked it and OH MY GOSH YOU'RE REVIEWING MY STORIES! AHHH *flails*
Thank you so much! :D :D :D Report Review
hwgheguidgw I loved the opening and last sentences! They were really powerful and I actually shivered at the end! I clicked on your link on the forums because I absolutely LOVE reading about Regulus and everyone's different interpretations on him.
I wrote one similar to this, actually, along with a couple of other Black family stories. I find them so interesting and fun to write and as you said on the forums, you did too!
Good job with your story :D It's always a good thing when you write a fantastic story and have fun with it :PAuthor's Response: Awh, thank you :)
The Black family is, by far, my favorite to write. Especially Regulus. He's just my fave :3
And I'll probably be looking up your stories. Can't pass up a good Black family story ^_^ Report Review
This first chapter is very interesting. It doesn't give away pretty much anything about the plot and it leaves the reader wanting to know what on earth is going on and why they aren't at Hogwarts! I also really enjoyed the way you wrote each perspective. It was a bit confusing at first because I was expecting it to be a girl's perspective throughout the entire story, but then I realised what was happening pretty quickly :)
I honestly love how you haven't told us who their names until the very end. To be honest, I still don't know who's who but I really like that about it! Also, the way you've included Mr. McKinley's perspective is another good idea!
Good job with your first chapter! :DAuthor's Response: Aw, thanks a lot! I'm glad you liked that aspect of it. :) Haha, which POV did you like most? (My personal favorite is Gavin...)
Well, fourth chapter's gonna be up soon, and I hope you liked the fanfiction enough to read the new chapter when it's validated! :)
PsySp Report Review
I really liked this chapter. It showed us a lot about Oliver and Amelia as your characters, and as Hogwarts' Head boy and girl. Not a lot happened, but regardless I thought it was very well written and kept the reader's interest with the dialogue :D So kudos on that!!Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed it! I know this one is a bit filler-y, but I think it's good to just establish the characters and the setting. There's be more action/conflict/etc in future chapters, so I hope to see you back for them! Report Review
You write well and I found this first chapter very gripping. There are so many complex relationships and underlying concepts behind the Black family, I think anyway, as well as the true pure blood families. Saying that, this perspective of a Slytherin pureblood back in the day of the first War is very intriguing!
Update soon! :DAuthor's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it and the Black family is definitely an interesting one, which I haven't really explored before. Thanks for the review and I hope to see you back for the next chapter when it's up :) Report Review
That is SO cute!!! I don't normally read Next-Gens so I wouldn't know whether this one was unique or not but it certainly did seem like it was! I never thought of what could've happened after the war and kids being named after Harry is just such a funny idea!!
Even though this is only a one-shot, your characterisation was really good, too. :D
Well done!Author's Response: Sorry for the late reply, but thank you so much for this review! I really appreciate that you took the time to read and leave some comments. I don't usually write much next-gen, so I'm glad you thought the characterization was well done. This was just a fun, fluffy, little plot bunny that popped into my head so I'm really glad you enjoyed it. It was a lot of fun to write. Thanks again for reading! Report Review
I really, really like this story! Your idea is really unique and interesting. I've never stopped to wonder about the Head Boys and Girls throughout the years of Hogwarts (apart from Percy and Penelope), and Ootp is the perfect year to be covering a story over these important 'figureheads' :P
I'm really keen to see how this story progresses! i'll be back for another review soon :DAuthor's Response: Thank you! I find it interesting how many people have said the same thing - I didn't realise the Head Prefects of the Hogwarts era were such an original idea :P I'm glad you enjoyed it, and thanks for the review! Hope to see you back soon! Report Review
I think, by the rate that I'm going with reviewing your stories, I'll probably review all of them one day soon :P I am addicted to the way you write.
Another beautiful, captivating, thought-provoking story here. I am running out of ways to commend you on your efforts in writing these stories! I used to really love reading about Percy because I found him so fascinating in an annoying way. But this story put him in a really different light. Fascinating, but not annoying. Not pompous, just committed.
I love "Timshel" by Mumford and Sons, as well as East of Eden, by the way! (James Dean, pwoar!) :DAuthor's Response: That comment -- "I am addicted to the way you write" -- that is literally one of the best compliments I can ever remember receiving about my writing. ♥ Seriously! I don't know how to properly convey to you how much that means to me.
Percy's always a character that, somewhat surprisingly, I've had a lot of sympathy for, and I've read so many stories where people paint him in rather unsympathetic lights. I suppose that's what I was trying to rectify here, somewhat. I'm glad that you enjoyed it, though, especially because you didn't find him annoying in this!
"Timshel" is such a beautiful song -- and I've heard "East of Eden" is great, though I've not yet read the book. :) Thank you so, so much for taking the time to leave me a review on this story! You're fantastic!! Report Review
Wow! I really didn't know what to expect when I clicked on your link from the forums, but dear Merlin you write very beautifully. I love this story and let me tell you, normally I can't deal with Next-Gen. I love this character you've written, her malice and everything. I LOVE HER. Honestly. Wow. You've done a fantastic job with this evil character of yours.
I love how you described Albus' eyes as "the colour of mouldy shit". It was so striking because I'm used to reading about those eyes as beautiful and gorgeous.
Again, I can't say how much I loved this story. Wowowowow! Seriously.Author's Response: hello! So I just want to hug this review very tight and never let go! 8D thank you so so much, I'm truly so happy to get such flattering feedback :). Yep, I particularly wanted that description of Albus's eyes in there, for the reason you said! Lila is a very controversial next-gen OC.
xx Report Review
I really liked the concept of your story, but I thought maybe you should've split up the large paragraphs. You have a really nice way of writing but I had to concentrate really hard to try and keep up with the bulk of text! Which is a shame because I thought it would've been a much nicer read (not that it wasn't already) if I didn't have to concentrate as much :P
I really loved that referral to the tea by the way, it was really sad :( I've never been a Remus/Sirius shipper (BECAUSE SIRIUS IS MINE :P) but I'm slowly moving forward towards it and this one was very nice!Author's Response: I know, you're totally right, I really should. I've been trying to figure out how I can split these giant paragraphs - apart from the one with the huge sentence, obviously, since that's kind of the point - but I'm kind of struggling.
I'm a Remus/Sirius shipper because Tonks is mine. :D
I'm glad you liked it, questionable formatting aside, and thank you for your lovely review. Report Review
That was cute :P I loved Sirius intentionally hexing someone to get into detention that night! The dialogue was really good and flashy, it suited James and Sirius very well :D
I certainly did like this chapter and I can't wait for the next one!! :DAuthor's Response: Yay, my first review for this chapter! I thought it was pretty cute. Aubrey was a tosspot, anyway. You can tell from when James whispered to Jane what Sirius had done, that he was rooting for them :) I'm so so glad you liked it! I'm working on the next chapter at the moment. Thanks so much for reviewing, because having this review is really like a kick in the butt to keep writing. It should HOPEFULLY be updated within the next couple of days. Report Review
First off, just a bit of nitpicking with the flow:
At ten minutes to eight that evening, Jane closed her books and silently rose from her armchair. Waving goodbye to Lily, she left the Gryffindor Common Room and slowly made her way down to the Hogwarts grounds. At lunch, Jane had been disrupted by McGonagall just as she was about to bite into a pheasant sandwich.
I think you should just make it a bit more obvious that the next scene unfolding was a memory because it seemed a bit jumbled :)
I really loved Lily's character in this chapter! She was very amusing but serious (I almost spelt it as Sirius) at the same time. I'd love to see more of her though :)
Again, I loved the interaction between Sirius and Jane! I'm beginning to think that they are really cute together :P Also, would there be more of the other Marauders??Author's Response: Yeah, I can see what you're saying. I'll figure that part out, because it is a tad confusing. I love Lily too. There'll definitely be a lot more of her in this story, and maybe a little Lily/James action in the future ;)
Thanks! It's hard to create a character that a reader is going to accept when it comes to Sirius. He deserves a nice lady :D There's going to be a lot more of the Marauder, don't you worry about that! Report Review
"His name is Sirius."
"His name is Satan."
I LOVED THAT HAHA! That made me giggle :P
the transition between the Sirius perspective, to the detention scene and then back into Janes perspective was done really well because it really flowed and melded in together.
Just maybe instead of a long gap between the the common room and Hogsmeade, you could use something like ~ or a - just to signify it a bit more obviously. The big gap disrupted my reading flow, but I'm not sure if that's the same case for everyone :)
Despite that, I really like this story so far! :D :DAuthor's Response: Haha, yeah I quite like that line too :)
I've been trying to fix my formatting for the longest time. Whenever I paste my chapter on to the website, it messes up and all these gaps appear. I'll try to fix that up somehow, because I know exactly what you mean. Report Review
jfwiefwfw writing a story without the e, i didn't know it was possible! But you certainly showed me! and you showed me in a really stunning piece!
I think you wrote a fantastic story with your obvious limitations and honestly, this was amazing. The fact alone that you could compose a story without the letter e is amazing but still :) WOW.Author's Response: I didn't think that is was possible, either! I remember quite vividly that I set out to tackle this challenge because I was feeling a bit frustrated with my works in progress, and just wanted something /new/ to work on. I saw this challenge and literally just started typing away; I think the whole thing came in something like an hour and a half!
I'm so happy you enjoyed this, though, even with that handicap; that really makes me feel good. ♥ It's definitely something I think is worth trying, if you're up for it!
Thank you so much for yet another sweet review -- you're really making my week over here! ♥ Hope to see you back by my author's page quite soon! Report Review
I found this first chapter a very nice one to read :) I really liked your portrayal of the Marauders (so far), especially Remus because you've portrayed him just so cutely :P
I'm beginning to really like Jane as well, how Sirius has described her as being dull and how she seems like a klutz as well. The interaction between herself and Madam Pomfrey showed a lot about her character too, which is good :) Just be careful with her becoming too much of a Mary Sue character :) Make sure you continue portraying her as dull, but intriguing to the reader (somehow!) without the patent perfection of a Mary Sue.
I'll be reading more! :DAuthor's Response: A review! Firstly, let me say thank-you SO much for this. It made my day having a review to come home to :)
Yeah, I love Remus. He's such a sweetheart, and there's a lot more of Remus being adorable in future chapters. I know that it's not always easy to like an OC off the bat so I'm so glad that you're liking Jane. I know what you mean about steering clear of Mary Sue. Thoughout the story, we'll begin to see that Jane has some pretty big character flaws, and that appearances can be deceiving.
Thanks again for the review. It really did mean the world! Report Review
This was a very cute story! I really loved the part where they replaced Voldemort's wand with a fluffy unicorn. It was so adorable!!! Hahaha! I really like seeing this side of Voldemort, no matter how AU it is because it's always just so interesting!!!
You have a really nice way of writing and it's not over the top with detail, so it was balanced pretty well :)
I can't say that any of it is canon but the way you portrayed all of your characters was imaginable. Very imaginable indeed! Hehe!
Kudos on writing it! :D & thanks for the review swap!Author's Response: Hi and thanks for the review! =)
I'm glad you liked it. I guess this one-shot is as AU as the story can go. I've been planning a sort of prequel to it for a while now. It will be about Lucius and his dark ploys. I'm hoping it will be a fun romp as well.
My imagination tends to go to overdrive, but I guess for this type of dark comedy it works pretty well. =P
It was fun to swap reviews. Thank you for it. =) Report Review
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