Great chapter! :)
I totally blame him. I mean, she obviously needed time, and he told her that if she didn't get back together with him he wouldn't even be friends with her :( That's so harsh! I may be in the minority, but I hope she ends up with Ray :) He's sweet, and the scenes between them are amazing!Author's Response: thank you, glad you liked it! and yup, stupid sirius letting his temper get in the way and being all selfish.. but the way he sees it he didnt actually do anything to hurt her, even though he kind of knew it was wrong or else he would have told her in the first place...
haha, im glad you like ray, i love to write his parts! at least he has one fan! Report Review
Lovely chapter:) I hope everything gets resolved soon. And I hate MarleneDxAuthor's Response: thanks, glad you like it and hope it works out the way you want! Report Review
I've really missed this story! It's the best Snape fic I've ever read, and the funniest story I've read on this site. Thanks for updating! Report Review
Wow, that was such a sweet, sad story! It was really captivating. I loved this line:
All good fun for my brother, but me on the other hand...aw I'll say it, it was funny for me too.
Your main character was so loveable, which only made the end sadder. I loved the way she could laugh at herself. My favorite part was the hic-cup scene. The way you wrote it was so original! This line was so cute: The second, I could see his tiny, pink mouth curl up just the smallest bit.
The story was lovely and heartbreaking, and I've never read anything like it. I can't believe you wrote something this good in one sitting! Thanks for participating in my challenge:D I can't wait to hear what other story you'd like me to review! 10/10
-EmilyAuthor's Response: Aaaah! Oh my goodness! You just ultimately MADE MY DAY! I'm SUPER happy you liked it! I honestly did not know WHAT to write with Zonko's and I sort of basically just made it up as I went along. But I it was probably the most fun story to write. I'm glad you liked the hiccup scene haha! I loved that little kid *smile* I'm glad you liked my narrator too! I liked writing her as well. Oh my goodness! This review made me so happy!!!
Oh! You wil review another story of mine? I must've forgotten that. I'll tell ya here and if you want I could PM you on the forums or something if you'd like. I'd like a review for One's Innocence. It's my newest story, it's agonna be a trilogy :D and, of course, since it is new it helps to get feedback :D Thank you SO much for the challenge! It was SUPER fun! *hugs*
Clair :D Report Review
I'm finally here to review=) Sorry it took me so long!
This story is funny and original, and I enjoyed reading it. I love this line:
He might have thought she was cute if her false eyelash wasn’t falling off and hanging in her eye like a many-legged insect.
I could really picture what you were describing:D The story wasn't too fast or too slow, and there was a perfect balance between dialogue and description.
Thanks for entering my challenge! Let me know when you decide what other story you want me to read and review:D
-EmilyAuthor's Response: Thanks! I'll PM you later when I decide. Your challenge was really fun. My favorite part of writing it was doing all the research on hen night games! Report Review
Another great chapter! I have a theory about who the thief is :D Though I'm almost always wrong about who the bad guy is when I read mystery novels, so I'm probably wrong now:P Anyway, nice job! I can't wait for the next chapter!Author's Response: Oooh! You do? :D Keep it in mind, you never know - you might be right. Though, if you are right, that means I was too obvious somewhere. *thinks* It's not set in stone, so don't tell me who you guessed. I've been known to change those things on purpose. ;)
Thank you very much for reading and reviewing! It's a great relief that you enjoyed this chapter. ^_^ Report Review
A lot happened in that chapter! :D I really enjoyed it. And I hope Sam leaves soon :P Nice job!Author's Response: I hope he does too XD Thanks so much for reviewing! Report Review
Wow, that was AMAZING! I wish I could write like that... Seriously, how did you come up with this genius idea? This is the best oneshot I've ever read, and I've read a LOT of oneshots. 2124081/10!Author's Response: It sort of hit me while I was watching Casablanca -- and of course, Ron had to be my leading man. :-)
I'm really flattered by your review, and so glad you enjoyed reading this! Report Review
The was the best chapter yet! No, you can't be going away! D: D: D:
That was amazing. I can't wait to find out what Freddie does! And what Lily and James do!Author's Response: AGAIN! i know, my bad! but it was the perfect place to end it... i'll try to get the next one out asap when i'm back to make up for the stupid amout of cliffies i've been throwing around! but thanks for the review, i'm glad you liked it! Report Review
I definitely wasn't expecting that confession until right before it happened! Maybe I should have been...
Great chapter! They keep getting better:DAuthor's Response: great, glad it was at least slightly not-obvious.. if that even made any sense.. thanks for the review! Report Review
Since I've finished what you've written so far, I'll leave a longer review:D
There's so much to love about this story. The characterization is great, it's well-written, and the plot is fascinating. Not a single part of the story is dull. I was on the edge of my seat the entire time I was reading. I know I've said this a gajillion times before, but this story is so original. Most fanfics I've read are very similar to a billion others, but this one is the opposite! It's unforgettable.
There were a few typos here and there. Like the other story I read, you switched tenses a lot. Sometimes there were words missing that were crucial to understanding a sentence. It didn't bother me too much, though, and overall the grammar was very good.
So far I've really enjoyed reading your story! Thanks for entering my challenge:D
-EmilyAuthor's Response: oh my goodness. please forgive the fact that it took me ages to respond to your review. my laptop broke. :(
and i am practically glowing with your compliments. thank you so much! tenses is my biggest problem. i dunno how to correct it. *sigh*
thank you for reviewing! you take care. :) Report Review
That was the best chapter yet! The whole chapter was very action-packed and exciting, and I really enjoyed reading it. Great job!Author's Response: thank you so so much! you take care. :) Report Review
Another suspenseful chapter =) You did a good job characterizing Hermione, and I can't wait until Draco is in the story! I love how original and interesting this story is. I've never read anything like it!Author's Response: thank you for your review. if you're interested, the latest chapter is up. thanks again for reviewing! you take care. :) Report Review
Wow, this is a very original and suspenseful first chapter. I really enjoyed it! It's very short, but you did say it was just the introduction. Sorry it's taken me so long to review this story; I've been out of town and I didn't have very much access to the internet. Anyway, nice job!
-EmilyAuthor's Response: thanks for the review! :) Report Review
Another wonderful chapter! :D I can't get over how cute your version of Sirius is. I'm really excited to read the next chapter and find out how everyone reacts! Excellent job.Author's Response: thank you i\\\'m glad you like it and hope you enjoy the rest! Report Review
I really like this story=) I thought the ending was very realistic. Draco and Hermione didn't suddenly fall in love, and his mother wasn't magically cured. Yet everything feels more peaceful than when the story started.
One thing you should watch out for is switching tenses. You started in the past tense, switched to the present tense, and ended in the past tense again.
Other than that, nice job! The story was very sweet and sad. I said that I would read and review another story by all of the entrants, so tell me which story you want me to check out!Author's Response: thank you! at first i had it written that draco\\\'s mother will be cured, not totally, but she\\\'ll wake up at least. but then it seemed unrealistic to me, that a simple song would cure everything. so i changed it. and i\\\'m glad you think it worked well. i really get a lot of criticisms for my tenses. i really should get a beta then. im so glad you liked the story! please review my other story \\\"Once In A Lifetime\\\". 4th chapter is on queue, and should be out in a day or two. thank you so much and thanks for the challenge. :) Report Review
You updated! :D That was a very good chapter. I hope Teddy and Victoire can sort through it soon! 10/10!Author's Response: thanks so much! Report Review
That was incredible!
This is my favorite line: If she ever chose to become a professor, she'd be downright terrifying. I love how you slip humor into the story:D
The ending was really sweet, and I loved reading the part that's in the thief's point of view and trying to guess who he/she is. Right now I have no idea who he/she could be! I know you won't tell me, though :P
I love how this story keeps getting more suspenseful! Wonderful job=)Author's Response: Haha, that line was a stroke of luck, but I couldn't resist foreshadowing her future career. ;) I'm glad you liked that line! And the rest of the chapter, of course. It's going to be hard to stop them from being all fluffy with each other - both the kisses in this chapter and the last were entirely unplanned (I think the characters are rebelling against me!).
Of course I won't say who the thief is, though it's not that hard a guess (at least from my side of things :P).
Thank you again for the wonderful review! I really appreciate hearing from you. ^_^ Report Review
I read this whole story last night and finished at about one in the morning. That would have been fine if I hadn't skipped out on studying for the three finals I had today. D= Oops.
Anyway, this story is soo cute. I've read tons of Sirius/OC fics and I didn't think I could read another, but the way you write Sirius is adorable! Your descriptions of him made me want to be Debbie. XD This chapter was the best one in the story so far. I love the length of your chapters!
I'm sorry I didn't review each chapter! Lately I've been trying to do that with every fic I read, but I wanted to get to sleep last night. =) I'll go back and review the chapters individually soon, I promise.
Great job!Author's Response: thanks so much, although im sorry for keeping you from studying... shame on you!! haha. im glad you like it and i hope you continue to read it! Report Review
This story is so original! I've never read a story from Ariana(sp?) Dumbledore's POV.
Once again, you did an excelent job describing everything. I could really picture the setting while I was reading, and I could understand exactly what Ariana was thinking. Your descriptions were so vivid!
I think I like this story even better than 'Hold Your Heart Close,' though it was hard to decide. No criticism! Great job=)Author's Response: thank you so much for the lovely review. i am honored that you love my work so much. you truly made my day with this review. thanks again. Report Review
Hello! I'm here with your review=)
You did a great job with this challenge! I absolutely love Neville/Hannah stories. Your descriptions were very good, and I could really picture your characters sitting on the Night Bus. You did a wonderful job describing what was happening around them.
There were a few grammar/spelling errors, but the only one that I thought interrupted the flow of the story was when you put 'impute' instead of 'input.' Spell-check probably didn't notice it because 'impute' is a word too. This is a really small error, but the story will probably flow better if you fix it.
The ending of the story was sweet, and there was a lot to imagine after the story was over. I think that leaving the readers with a lot to think about definitely makes stories more memorable=) Great job!
I promised I'd review another short story/one-shot, so tell me which story you'd like me to check out when you decide.
Once again, nice job on the story=)
-EmilyAuthor's Response: thank you so much for the lovely review. i am really pleased to hear that you liked my entry. i actually meant to change that error but thank you so much for reminding me. i will let you know which story that i want to to check out. thanks again. Report Review
This was another wonderful chapter! You wrapped it up very neatly. One criticism I have is that it was a bit short, but I might just feel that way because this story is amazing and I want to keep reading. I can't wait until the next chapter is posted! 10/10Author's Response: Ah, yes, short chapters are definitely my weakness! :) I'll try and stretch the next one out a bit, just for you. Speaking of which, it should be up in a couple days. Thank you so much for the feedback. I appreciate it. Report Review
Nice first chapter! I'm so excited about this story. Your descriptions are amazing and the entire chapter was well-written. I've never read a story about a wizard who wants to be a superhero. 10/10!Author's Response: Oh gosh, thank you so much. That means a lot to me, especially because I didn't really know how this story was being received! I'm really glad you enjoyed it.
Thanks again! Report Review
You updated! =D
The suspense in this chapter is incredible! There was barely any action in Riddle's compartment, yet there was so much tension. And the part with Minerva and Grimm was adorable. I don't like when characters get all lovey-dovey after something happens to one of them, and you avoided that so well by making Minerva annoyed at herself and having Grimm move away when she mentioned it.
Thanks for answering all of my reviews and the MTA questions=). When I said in an earlier review that Minerva was acting differently than she does in the books, I didn’t mean it in a bad way. She acted surer of herself in the books, but she’s only a teenager in your story so that has to change.
Anyway, amazing job! This is the best chapter yet=D.Author's Response: Yep, all updated. ^_^ With a chapter that I'm actually sort of proud of too, which is a miracle. It's great that you liked it as well, as usually the ones I like no one else does, and vice versa. :P I have the worst luck with these things.
Anyway, thank you very much for coming back to read and review another chapter! This chapter almost dipped into cliche for the reason you mentioned, having them get together after the situation with Riddle, but Minerva's too stubborn. Grimm definitely felt the cliche; I think he would have liked it better had their relationship changed under better conditions. He wants to keep the mystery separate from his relationship with Minerva, but now that they're both involved (in both definitions of the word), things might get more complicated.
Okay, I thought you'd meant that about Minerva, but it's hard to tell tone of voice when reading online. Her youth was the reasoning behind her slight awkwardness in this story - by the end, however, she will become more of her canon self (but I won't give it away). :) Report Review
Wow, I can't wait until you finish this! I kind of rushed my reviews for the other chapters, but now I'll leave you a longer one=)
Your style is superb. There's something about the way you write that makes the story flow very easily. I'm not sure what your trick is, but it works soo well! I didn't notice a single grammar mistake in the entire story. If there were any, I was too focused on the characters and the plot to pay attention to them.
There's something about the story that makes it completely different from the other romances I've read on this site. The story is dark and mysterious, yet there's something sweet about it as well. A lot of fanfics are either super dark or super fluffy. I think this fic falls more into the dark category, but the couple is cute enough and the dialogue is clever enough to give the story a bit of comic relief.
Grimm and your version of McGonagall are two of my all-time favorite characters. Their personalities are so complex that they seem like real people. I have a pretty big crush on Grimm XD.
For some reason I always pictured McGonagall being much older than the other canon characters you included in this story (other that Dumbledore), but they fit into the fic perfectly! Maybe I already said this, but I loved when Umbridge and Moody popped up in the story. The way you characterized McGonagall was neat; she somehow kept her strong personality yet still seems like a teenager.
The story is getting so mysterious and exciting, and I really want to know what's going to happen=) You've done an incredible job! Once again, 10/10.
-EmilyAuthor's Response: Sorry for taking so long with this response! It's a long review, and I wanted to give it its due. Thanks for leaving a longer review, though; I always enjoy reading them. :D
There is no trick to the style, haha. Wish there was (then I could sell it!), but it's just me recording my imagination. I'm glad that you didn't find any typos/grammar issues. Those are always a pain, and I tend to type so fast that I miss them, especially when I get too excited about a certain passage. ;)
That's interesting about how the story balances out dark and light moods. There is a bit more humour and romantic fluff than I usually include in a story, but there are those darker elements, mostly coming out of the mystery subplot with Riddle. I guess that sort of thing happens when combining the two genres, especially since the romance I'm going for here is of the comedic kind. :P
It's fantastic that you like this story and the two characters. I really enjoy writing this story because there's so much to it and lots of fun in the banter between them. As it goes, Moody is perhaps the most out of place character, at least according to the Lexicon (who makes him Mr. Weasley's age? that seems too young still, but...). I pictured Umbridge to have known McGonagall before OotP - they seemed to hate one another so strongly, and there had to be more in that hatred. Eileen Prince (who makes a cameo appearance) also ends up being too old, though it's still possible, I guess. It just worked to include more canons than to make up my own. :P I'm lazy like that. Have to start adding a few more OCs because I don't want to have too many more canons.
Again, thank you for all your wonderful reviews! I've enjoyed reading your progress through the story, and hope that you'll come back for more when I update again! :D Report Review
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