Reading Reviews From Member: adluvshp
  
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Review #26, by adluvshpRepentance: Dinner

11th July 2014:
This was a beautiful chapter with some beautiful scenes. I especially loved the last scene between Draco and Hermione. There was a peace about the scene and it was awesome. The imagery of the location was also amazing. I also loved the whole dinner interaction. It was nice to see all of them getting along. It is also a good decision on Hermione's part to tell Harry and Ron. Speaking of Ron, it was good to see him included in the beginning of the chapter. It also makes sense that he has found a girl, so there'll be no 'romantic' complications between him and Hermione. I wonder how Harry, Ron, and Ginny will react to the news of what happened to hermione and her living with Draco though. That scene is bound to be interesting.

I am a little sad to see that there are only two chapters left for the story so I hope some real romance happens between Draco/Hermione in the next chapter, we get to see some 'action' so to speak, and also that the plot wraps up nicely with Rowle getting caught.

House Cup 2014 Review
-Cheers, AD

Author's Response: The cottage scene was again one of my favourites and is actually based on a place in I like to go on holiday every year, it really is beautiful :)

More from Ron to come!

Thank you,

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Review #27, by adluvshpRepentance: Memories

11th July 2014:
Finally Hermione knows the truth that Blaise and Pansy know, that is good. The memory of Draco was very haunting and it gave me chills. I felt for him really strongly when I read the flashback. It made sense that Hermione reacted the way she did in the beginning, but after the memory, I could understand the change in her.

The hug between her and Draco was quite sweet too, and I'm glad things are clear between them now. I enjoyed the interaction between her and Draco towards the end as it brought them closer. I also liked the interaction between Blaise and Pansy in the beginning. Your characterisations are over all quite strong and I'm glad things are slowly starting to fall into place.

Good work as ever.

House Cup 2014 Review
-Cheers, AD

Author's Response: Thank you for your lovely words, as ever!

Hoping you continue to enjoy the story,

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Review #28, by adluvshpRepentance: Snooping

11th July 2014:
Oh no Rowle might be after Hermione's parents, now that's bad. I surely hope they're okay. The little spat between Hermione and Draco in this chapter was quite real also, and I liked that. It was also nice that they 'made up' after that too, and didn't hold grudges. The revelation that Hermione does trust Draco was also good, and I can see definite progress in their relationship. The beginning section with Draco "peeping" on Hermione made me giggle a bit. It's not that surprising that Hermione hasn't let a man get intimate with her, apart from Rowle's forcing, so I wonder if Draco and her will get there, and if so how.

So far, I'm really enjoying the story. I hope they catch Rowle soon, and that her relationship with Draco progresses well. Oh and I also liked the inclusion of Harry/Ginny in the beginning, to show their side of things. And I'm also curious about Draco's patronus form.

Good work as always,

House Cup 2014 Review.
Cheers,
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Ahhh, I know! I do feel awful for it but Rowle is cunning and was bound to go after them eventually.

More about Draco's patronus will follow in later chapters :)

Thank you!

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Review #29, by adluvshpRepentance: A Blossoming Friendship?

11th July 2014:
Hello again! I am glad you're portraying Pansy and Blaise in a positive light here. It's a fresh change from the way they, especially Pansy, is usually depicted in fan fiction. It does make sense that if Draco has 'grown up', then so would Pansy. The interaction between her and Hermione was also very nice and it brought a smile to my face. I am glad Hermione is feeling more 'at home' around Draco and his friends. The ending scene was also well-written as it provided a perspective of Pansy and Blaise. It is also believable that Blaise is not willing to let go so quickly of the past, but its nice that Pansy has cleared his doubts away.

The revelation that Draco was under a body bind curse when the whole ordeal with Rowle happened was quite shocking and interesting. The way you wrote it was also realistic. I like the blossoming closeness between him and Hermione and I hope it turns into something more soon, and that Rowle is caught.

Great chapter as ever.

House Cup 2014 Review.

Cheers
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Thank you for another great review :)

Pansy and Blaise will more or less be main characters throughout the story so I'm glad you like the characterization of them :)

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Review #30, by adluvshpRepentance: An Interesting Read

11th July 2014:
The relationship between Hermione and Draco is changing for the better, and I like that. It's cute that he got her some dresses and new clothes etc. 'for a change'. It's also sweet that slowly Hermione is trying to fix herself and feel better about things.

The diary entries were written really well and showed the torment Draco went through for not being able to help her. It was interesting that Hermione saw it, now she knows how he feels. Her reaction was also expected, with the tears and all. It was kind of Draco to not intrude. Their friendship is surely growing.

I am looking forward to Blaise and Pansy's visit and interaction with Hermione. The story is progressing nicely.

House Cup 2014 Review.

Cheers
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: I'm glad you're still enjoying it! The diary scene was one of my favourites to write :)

Thank you!

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Review #31, by adluvshpRepentance: Missing Things

11th July 2014:
I enjoyed this chapter as well. I am glad Hermione and Draco are getting warmer with each other now. Hermione's reaction to the library was quite adorable. It's interesting how they've both taken days off work, and I wonder if anyone will find out that they're both actually in the Manor. I also like how Harry is not just in the sidelines in the story but that he's focused on as well. It is amusing that some still swoon over him though, haha. Over all, I am liking the characterisations so far of all three of them quite well. Your descriptions and details are also very good. It is also cute how the romance-y feelings are slowly starting to blossom between Draco/Hermione, with the 'tingle' and all that on touch.

I am excited to see how the plot progresses. Good work!

House Cup 2014 Review.

Cheers
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: I couldn't write about Hermione without including a library somewhere!

Thank you so much for another lovely review,

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Review #32, by adluvshpRepentance: Unwanted Guests

11th July 2014:
First off, I don't think the pace is slow at all. It is quite perfect really. Your writing is very smooth with great descriptions. There are some places where I noticed a few off-sounding sentences but for the most part, it made for a nice flowing read.

Harry and Ginny's reactions to Hermione being seen with Malfoy were quite believable, but I wish they'd try to understand Hermione's position more. Hermione's reflection about everything that happened, along with Malfoy's "offer" made sense too.

It is obvious that Rowle is after Hermione even now, sending his cronies to do digging in her apartment. The scene between them was quite well done and I'm glad Hermione fought. I also liked the interaction between Hermione and Draco later. Hermione's state was understandable and all that emotion was bound to burst out. You wrote all of it quite well. I also liked how the chapter ended on a positive note, with another step in the direction of friendship between Hermione and Draco.

Good job as always.

House Cup 2014 Review.
Cheers
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Thank you for reassuring me, I was concerned there wasn't enough 'action' to encourage readers to continue so thank you :)

Thank you again,

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Review #33, by adluvshpRepentance: Meeting

11th July 2014:
Hermione moving to Malfoy Manor, now that will be something interesting. I wonder if she'll agree though, hmm. I liked this chapter very much as it focused on Harry, Draco, and Hermione's reflections about the current events. It gave a good insight into the characters' inner thoughts and feelings. The interaction between Draco and Hermione was the most interesting of course. I liked how Draco came clean to Hermione with exactly what he thought and felt regarding the event of the final day of the battle. His reasoning did make sense after all. Hermione's reactions were also well-written, and the banter that flowed between the two was believable and good to read.

The story is getting more intense with every passing chapter and I like that. I am looking forward to Hermione's answer about the move, and also to Harry and Ron's reactions if she does move to the Manor.

Good going.

House Cup 2014 Review.

-Cheers,
AD

Author's Response: I'm so happy that you seem hooked! I hope I can do it justice for you :)

Thank you thank you thank you!

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Review #34, by adluvshpRepentance: Laughter

11th July 2014:
Hello again! I am quite liking the way things are going. It's nice that Draco and Hermione are finally being civil to each other. I also like the little details you put in like Pansy being at the Manor, and Draco 'inviting' Hermione for breakfast. It was also interesting that Draco actually set protection charms around Hermione's apartment - that's one nice gesture, and of course the least he could do.

Harry seems to shout a lot in this story by the way, haha, but it's to be expected with the way people barge in and out of meetings. This Prince girl seems intriguing too, though I hope she's a 'good' character, even though she is giving me sort of negative vibes. I guess I'll just have to wait and read to see what she is actually like.

Hermione's letter to Ron was so short and clipped, it made me realise just how much they had drifted apart. Nonetheless, I hope he comes back soon as it would be interesting to see his reaction to the friendship between Draco/Hermione.

All in all, another good chapter with nice descriptions, consistent characterisations, and good plot points.

House Cup 2014 Review.

-Cheers,
AD

Author's Response: Hey :)

Pansy is one of my favourite characters to write because so much can be done with her - we only see one side of her in canon but I like to show her differently.

Harry is very angry since the war! I think it affected him a lot more than he lets on to everyone else, it just seems to come out in bursts for him haha

Thank you again,

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Review #35, by adluvshpRepentance: I'm Sorry

11th July 2014:
So I was right - it was Malfoy who had grabbed Hermione. More so, apparently Rowle was the one following Hermione. I can't believe he's still after her after all this time. It's a good thing Draco got to her in time though. The scene when he was crying was quite touching - all that guilt really did come pouring out. I'm glad Hermione believed him and is ready to meet him now. I wonder how their interaction will go once Hermione reaches the Manor and talks to him about Rowle's sighting though.

The story is getting more and more interesting, and I'm really liking it. The pace of the plot is moving swiftly - not too fast and not too slow - which is good. Your characterisations so far are awesome, and the narrative with all the emotions is really nicely done.

Good job!
House Cup 2014 Review.

-Cheers,
AD

Author's Response: Yep, you guessed correctly!
There's loads more to come from Rowle as the story progresses which will show how twisted he really is (I really can't stand his character!)

Thank you for such encouraging reviews, I'm glad you're enjoying it,

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Review #36, by adluvshpRepentance: Guilt

11th July 2014:
Ah the ending of this chapter was quite intense. I am very eager to know what happened to Hermione now, especially who grabbed her. I have a nagging sensation it is Draco, but let's see!

The friendship you've shown between Pansy, Draco, and Blaise is also nice. It's good to see things from Draco's perspective as well. It is understandable that he blames himself for not being able to 'save' Hermione that night. You have written his guilt quite well. I also enjoyed your characterisations of Pansy and Blaise.

The last bit of the chapter was the most interesting though, with Hermione being so scared and getting ambushed. The dream she had was also a good way of showing that her fears haven't really left her, and that the past still haunts her. I hope she can overcome it all soon.

Good work going.

House Cup 2014 Review.

-Cheers,
AD

Author's Response: I know, cliffhangers are a pet hate of mine but I just can't help it when I write myself! Hopefully that built the suspense for you :)

Thank you once again,

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Review #37, by adluvshpRepentance: Misery

11th July 2014:
Ah things are certainly getting more interesting. I am liking your portrayal of Draco here, especially it's nice to see that he is the Head of the Department of International Magical Cooperation. Hermione's letter to him was quite brutal of course, but it is only understandable after everything that has happened between them in the past. The interaction between Harry and Draco was also quite enjoyable to read. The dialogues were witty and engaging, and the banter something I could see actually happening.

It was awful what happened to Hermione in the battle, and I am surprised she didn't confide in Harry (or Ron I guess) about it. It is quite sad really that she has to bear all the pain by herself, and that Malfoy was the sole witness to what happened. I hope he finds a way to help her. The last scene between Hermione and him was quite well-written, and the emotions really came through. It's going to take a lot more than that after all for Hermione to forgive Draco and open up to him, or anyone for that matter.

So far, the story is going great and I am liking it.

House Cup 2014 Review.

-Cheers,
AD

Author's Response: Hi again :)

I'm happy you picked up on Draco's job, I thought that might be quite a simple way to show the changes in him.

Thank you so much,

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Review #38, by adluvshpRepentance: Old Faces

11th July 2014:
Hey! I am a Dramione lover and have read lots of Dramione stories since I ventured into fanfiction, and seeing all the clichés around I had taken a break from reading those for a while. But now I'm back into it and I'm glad yours was one of the stories that was recommended to me, as it definitely seems like a breath of fresh air after all the cliches.

Your backstory and portrayal of characters in this first chapter is quite believable and nicely done. Hermione's current state is understandable and realistic after everything she has been through. She was so strong in her earlier years during the war but it was bound to take a toll on her sooner or later, and as the war finishes, all the bad memories must have been hard to suppress. It's also interesting that Harry is her boss now and Ron has become distant - the dynamics of the trio have obviously changed as that is bound to happen after-school. I do feel there's more to Hermione's problems though and I'm intrigued to see those unfold.

Your writing is also quite good, with a nice balance between description and dialogues. The plot looks quite good, and the narrative is interesting and encourages me to keep reading, and so I will. Over all, I'd say this was a very good first chapter to set the whole scene for the story and I like how you've straight away jumped into the action of things.

House Cup 2014 Review.

-Cheers,
AD

Author's Response: Hi there!

Thank you so so so much for reviewing every chapter, I was stunned to come online and see my review count!

I also love Dramione and since I began reading on HPFF years ago I've wanted to write one myself :)

I'm glad you feel the realism of the story as it was important for me to keep the foundation of the characters the same as they always were, but the plot of this calls for a lot of differences, too.

Thank you again,

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Review #39, by adluvshpIn Retrospect: Of the Rules of Engagement

11th July 2014:
So I was right, the killer was indeed Natalia. I would have liked to read more backstory and details about the whole ordeal though, and about her too, since Harry and Hermione spent so much time working on the case. Nonetheless, how you wrote it was alright too I suppose. The dialogues were especially very powerful and witty, and I liked that.

Aw Harry and Hermione are finally blissfully together. Harry's thoughts on the case were justified though, and I'm glad he has Hermione to help him through all the hardships he goes through, and vice versa. Their romance was quite lovely and I had a good time reading it. You've wrapped up things with this final chapter quite well, and I like the way things have turned out. All the loose ends are tied up and it's quite neat.

This was really a brilliant story with an interesting plot, awesome characters, good pace, and some very good writing. You ddi a fabulous job with it and it was a pleasure to read. I hope you do post up the epilogue if you're planning to as I'd love to get a glimpse into Harry/Hermione's future here.

All in all, amazing story and very good last chapter!

House Cup 2014 Review.

Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

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Review #40, by adluvshpIn Retrospect: Of Dates and Coincidences

11th July 2014:
Finally they do it, haha xD I loved the making love scene. I think it was written with the right amount of details, portrayed in a clean yet interesting manner, and over all had a good sensual, passionate, and romantic feel about it. It's not horrid at all so don't berate yourself. I also really like the friendship between Callum and Harry which you show so well through the flashbacks. It is all quite adorable. The contemplation about the case is definitely getting more intense and I've to say I don't think it is the mother, despite the note this chapter ended at. I feel like it's kind of a mis-lead when it's actually Natalia.

All in all, this was another well-written chapter, and you did justice to the plot here. The characterisations in the story have been consistent and the interactions between them enjoyable to read. I'm glad I got a chance to read this story and now I'm very interested to know how things end, especially with how the case wraps up.

House Cup 2014 Review.

Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

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Review #41, by adluvshpIn Retrospect: Of Mommy Dearest

11th July 2014:
Another suspect is brought into the chapter here, bringing more intriguing scenarios. I still feel Natalia is a better suspect though, since the mother was greedy enough to let her daughter be called a liar despite what was done to her. Besides, after hearing the expert's opinion on the illness, Natalia seems like a better suspect for the murders too.

The flashbacks with Callum are also good way of showing more perspective into Harry's life at that time. I am really enjoying those memories. As for the present, the whole scene at the Burrow was quite shocking. Again, I would not really expect Molly to behave like this, nor for Hermione/Harry to feel so badly towards her, but I guess that's how you've characterised Molly here so can't be undone.

I loved the "I love you" exchange between Harry and Hermione, it was absolutely adorable. The whole sexual tension towards the end was pretty awesome too and I'm excited to see where things go in the next chapter.

House Cup 2014 Review.

Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

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Review #42, by adluvshpIn Retrospect: Of Boxing Things In

11th July 2014:
Another great chapter! I quite enjoyed this one, since we met Natalia, who seems like a very good suspect of the case. The interaction she had with Harry/Hermione was quite intriguing. I also liked the little details mentioned like her reading of so many newspapers and magazines - it seems like there could be something fishy there. Her diagnosis is also pretty suspicious, especially since she was let out. I'm curious to know more about her, her connection with the case, and what else is going to happen next.

The flashbacks were once again nicely written, and so was Hermione/Harry's interaction in the present. The ending scene was sweet and adorable and made me smile. I can sense that the story along with the case is coming to its conclusion now, especially since Harry and Hermione's relationship has blossomed and the case is close to resolution.

Good job!

House Cup 2014 Review.

Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

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Review #43, by adluvshpWhen Choosing Is The Hardest Thing To Do: Something To Say

10th July 2014:
I am liking the interactions between Narcissa and Snape, but I wish there was more buildup between their relationship to help us get a better understanding. For instance, their romantic scenes could also do with some detail of Snape's inner thoughts and feelings.

Snape continuing to send and signing his letters as the Half-Blood Prince is a nice touch as it adds a sense of suspense to the story. Hermione and Ron worrying for Harry's safety is also believable. I do hope Harry goes alone and meets Snape though to get the most useful information out of him.

House Cup 2014
Educational Decree #7

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Review #44, by adluvshpWhen Choosing Is The Hardest Thing To Do: The Encounter

10th July 2014:
Another interesting chapter which I liked. The interaction between Moody, Lupin, and Snape along with the trio was nicely done. It was understandable that they weren't ready to trust Snape immediately. I would have definitely liked to see more of banter before they decided to 'go along with it' though. Perhaps some further explanations from Snape. Nonetheless, you set the scene alright. It is interesting that Snape is continuing to pose as a death eater and get information for the trio.

Again, you can improve by building up more descriptions and setting the scene with more details. The dialogues can also be less clipped and more informative, written with more emotion, to be able to visualise the scene. If you can incorporate all that, the story will definitely improve.

House Cup 2014.
Educational Decree #7

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Review #45, by adluvshpWhen Choosing Is The Hardest Thing To Do: Suprising Feelings & Letters

10th July 2014:
Hello! This was an interesting start to your story. It's kind of OOC that Snape is in love with Narcissa, or at least has some feelings for her, but I guess it goes with the concept of your story. I like how this is set after Harry's sixth year though, after Dumbledore's death, as it would make more sense for Snape to out himself and plead with Harry to meet him at this point.

For constructive criticism, I'd say that you definitely have room for improvement in your writing. You can include more description and details about the surroundings as well as the character's inner thoughts and feelings. It would definitely add to the story and make it more of an interesting read. There are some grammatical and phrasing errors as well which can be fixed with a thorough re-read.

Besides that, this is a good effort so keep writing. Your plot is something different and interesting. I'd especially like to see more of things from Snape's point of view, and whether he'll be returning to Hogwarts after all this - if it's related to canon at all.

House Cup Review 2014 - Educational Decree #7.

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Review #46, by adluvshpIn Retrospect: Of “Looney Bins”

10th July 2014:
I like that we got to know more about Andrea in this chapter. This other girl that she let in sometimes might be worth investigating also. I think Harry and Hermione will soon the crack the case.

The backstory that you provided on Callum and Harry's friendship in this chapter was also nice. It was interesting to see what Harry thinks of his friends outside of Ron/Hermione. The poor guy has so much self-loathing issues though, or at least he had, as is evident in the flashback therapy sessions. It's quite commendable how you've managed to portray it all so realistically. Also, I loved the ending scene of this chapter, H/Hr are super cute xD

Great as always!

House Cup 2014 Review.

Cheers
-AditiDraco95

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Review #47, by adluvshpIn Retrospect: Of Truths and Half-Truths

10th July 2014:
So there has been another murder. I am hoping this is the last, and now Harry can catch the killer. The nerve of her though - she actually kissed the victim's forehead. I like how Hermione and Harry work together by the way, you write their interactions quite well. The beginning interaction between the two and the receptionist was quite amusing too. I am also looking forward to see what they can get out of the raped girl's personal Healer.

It is all very interesting now and I'm eager to read more. I also see that there are only a few more chapters left now so I assume the case will be solved soon, and that Harry/Hermione will finally have their 'happy ending'. I also hope there's some more romance in the upcoming chapters before the end xD

Good going so far!

House Cup 2014 Review.

Cheers
-AditiDraco95

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Review #48, by adluvshpIn Retrospect: Of a Friendship

10th July 2014:
Now the plot is edging towards its climax, its thickening, I can feel it, and I am loving it. I think it's great the progress they made. This girl got raped and then killed herself - I see high chances of a close loved one avenging the girl's rape and death by performing the horrendous murders. It's all very interesting and I'm curious to see what Harry/Hermione find out from the asylum, and if they get any new leads.

I also liked the little conversation that Ron and Harry shared in the beginning of the chapter. That along with the flashbacks did explain the dynamics between the trio at the moment. It's sweet how Ron, Harry, and Hermione are still close after everything they've been through, even despite the 'rough patches'. You've written their characters quite well, and the situations are portrayed believably. Kudos for that!

House Cup 2014 Review.

Cheers
-AditiDraco95

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Review #49, by adluvshpIn Retrospect: Of Sexiness

10th July 2014:
Yay they're finally together! Ah this chapter has brought a huge smile to my face. I think the whole romance scene was written very well. It was clean, neat, with the right choice of words, and over all had a passionate yet beautiful feel to it. I think it was perfect for Harry/Hermione's first time together. The conversation before and after it was also nicely done. I loved the little speech Hermione gave to Harry about him giving her un-platonic feelings and distracting her. The interaction in the morning was too cute as well, and had me grinning. It ended on a light note and i liked that.

All in all, another lovely chapter, and I'm so glad that the romance we'd been waiting for has finally happened. I hope to know more about the case in the later chapters now, as well as see Harry/Hermione's relationship blossom.

Good work!

House Cup 2014 Review.

Cheers
-AditiDraco95

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Review #50, by adluvshpIn Retrospect: Of Planning

10th July 2014:
Okay so I'm really curious to know exactly what Harry uncovered about the rape case. They havent been brought in questioning because of what? This is quite frustrating so I hope it's revealed soon! Obviously, this means the case has taken an interesting turn though. Moving on to the other situation, I am glad Ron gave the two the 'go-ahead'. I think his reaction was believable and well-written. The whole scene was actually quite entertaining to read and I almost chuckled at the way Harry finally blurted it out.

Oh and I'm excited to meet Anderson in the present and see what he has to say about the case. That should be interesting. The flashbacks in this chapter also tied well with the present events as Harry has finally confessed to Hermione. I sure hope that after Ron's "approval", Hermione can finally let loose and just give in to her feelings for Harry.

Great going!

House Cup 2014 Review.

Cheers
-AditiDraco95

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