Reading Reviews From Member: adluvshp
  
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Review #26, by adluvshpUnexpected Parenthood: Chapter Five

9th April 2017:
So, Flick is a Slytherin! That is nice, and Albus is the father, wow! I wonder how he will react when he finds out - he should be mad that she never told him she was pregnant with his kid(s) because really both the parents have the right to know even if the decision of what to do with the pregnancy resides with the mother in such cases. Regardless, am excited she is going to go back to school and see her friends. They must feel awfully confused, and i am glad you gave us insights into their lives a little bit through the letters and her thoughts, like Scorpius wanting rose, and Dom being her best friend, and also only the few close people knowing the truth about her mother. The story is headed in an interesting direction and am looking forward to seeing how things turn out. I really would have liked more description and dialogue though, as it seems to be description isolated and dialogue isolated rather than a mix. Also, more letters, especially one from Albus would have been good to see where they stand today (or where they stood before she left). Backstories are important to build a relationship with the characters in my opinion. But apart from that, this is fun to read, good going!

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Review #27, by adluvshpMeant for Two: You and Me

9th April 2017:
Aw, this was sad and gave me all the feels and at the same it was so beautifully written, it tugged at my heartstrings. I have to admin I could not guess who the narrator was so I peeked at the other reviews and it is katie bell! I should have thought of that! But anyway this story made so much sense, the effects of the war, the brooding, how Katie was alone, and then Harry comes in, their awkward conversation and slowly they ease into it, it was really well-written in the most realistic fashion. The progression of things was brilliant and how she envisioned her life with Harry and yet it could never happen broke my heart. The little inclusions or mentions of ginny and hermione and ron etc were good. Descriptions of harry through katie's eyes also made him very appealing, and the way you described how happy he was with ginny was sweet though of course i felt bad for katie. I loved how all of this started with finding the right glove for Ginny, what a lovely little anecdote and shows you how love can strike in the smallest of things, even if it is unrequited. Your phrases and imagery was beautiful and really I was sucked into the narrative completely while reading. 10/10!

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Review #28, by adluvshpWorship You: Storm

9th April 2017:
OMG SIAN YOU BEAUTIFUL WRITER YOU! this was so amazing omg i forgot what it was like to read the beauty you possess in your skills. but enough gushing, (not really), I LOVED IT SO MUCH! Okay so I loved how you kept this ambigious and I was trying to figure out who was the object of affections here - first i was like it is a star so possibly Sirius, and then it became clear it was a girl and Slytherin, and then the dark lord thing and I was like OH it's Bellatrix now that is very very interesting!

The narrator am guessing was the Astronomy professor so Sinistra? I have never come across such a pairing before and I did not think she would be a Slytherin but your portrayal of her is now my official head canon because it was written so perfectly, i could totally imagine it. I liked how we saw the subtle differences in their personalities too, like how Sinistra is grounded but Bellatrix is after to conquer the world with the dark lord by her side (or the other way round really).

The way you described her love for bella was also absolutely haunting and beautiful and intense. I could feel it and i was so absorbed into reading it. The ending was so fitting in the way they were on the opposite sides of the war. and of course, all the star references were so beautiful! This was full of lovely imagery and had a very poetic feel to it. 10/10!

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Review #29, by adluvshpTaking the cheesy way out: Taking the cheesy way out

9th April 2017:
Ooh, Teddy as a cheesemaker, now that is fun and interesting and might I add, a brilliant idea! The beginning segment was really nice with teddy being unsure about his career, you showed his frustration subtly but enough to convey it. And it was sweet that he is close enough with his grandmother to discuss these things. The ad being "mysterious" was pretty cool and i loved how teddy ended up there - Greta seems like a really nice lady, sharp but sweet. And she sure is cheesy (haha). The way you explained the cheesemaking process in the magical world was very fascinating - the use of charms and transfiguration, and the requirement of potions knowledge made sense. Teddy's attitude for the interview was also well-written and believable. The ending segment was really sweet. I am glad Victoire was so supportive of him, and I could see how close the two were and how much they loved each other already. Teddy wanting to work with someone who knew his dad was so sweet and also a little sad, but I am glad things worked out for him. You totally did the idea justice, in fact I feel like I want to read more of this - how things progress in his life now! Great job!

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Review #30, by adluvshpHis Footsteps : Break

9th April 2017:
Oh dear this broke my heart, poor Teddy and Victoire. Secondary PTSD can be very difficult to deal with so I am sorry you had to go through with it *hugs* You wrote it in a perfect manner though - as someone who has no experience with it, I could still feel the pain and angst of it. For a moment (when she said Rose), i thought this was Ron and Hermione but then I realised it was Teddy/Victoire and it broke my heart even more, because those two deserve to be happy - they are the first kids born after the war and they deserve to be free of such pain and live their lives happily. *wipes tears* Nevertheless, this was so very beautiful and haunting, your writing is absolutely amazing. The descriptions were perfect and I almost got goosebumps when she was sitting upstairs, listening to his footsteps and the racket he was making. I felt so bad for her. And then when he came and she was laughing, I was afraid he would do something but they argued and he left so I sighed in relief. Of course it still is pretty heartbreaking and horrible. Little things like how she is now an expert in repair spells and earlier she used to be mad but not anymore show how long this has been going on now, and that really added to the narrative. All in all, loved it, beautiful! Sad but well-written.

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Review #31, by adluvshpChasing Life, Seeking Love, Keeping Hope: Harry's Emotional Rollercoaster

8th April 2017:
Aww, the progression of Ginny and Harry's relationship was really sweet. I think you wrote it in a very good manner as such scenes can be tricky to handle. It had the right amount of detail and yet wasn't too graphic. At the same time, as their first time, it was also a little awkward and yet they both enjoyed it and basked in its glow. They are content with each other and that really came through which was great. Kreacher really knows what's up too haha but I guess house-elves have a bond with their masters to know of important events xP
The visit to the Weasleys after that was fun. Arthur knew what happened, that is so mortifying, poor harry! And what an embarassing conversation to have. What I found quite interesting was your take on the activity, and how you had both of them cast the spells - if only muggle life was as easy hahaha xD
And yay for girl talk. I think it is really healthy and much needed especially after something big like this so glad that Ginny and Hermione spent a good time. I love how their friendship is also deep and it's not the trio but the quartet that is together. Great going!

Author's Response: Thanks, adluvshp!

I try to be tasteful in those personal scenes. The reason I write them is to attempt to portray them as whole persons and, hopefully, present a more realistic portrayal of their characters. Glad you liked it.

In the same vein, I've tried to bring Hermione and Ginny closer, thus cementing the "Golden Quartet" motif.

Thanks for the review!!


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Review #32, by adluvshpChasing Life, Seeking Love, Keeping Hope: Harry's Startling Surprise

8th April 2017:
Ooh so this was an interesting chapter and I loved how fleur was the one guiding harry through everything. You got her accent and dialogue down pretty well, good work there. Harry's nervousness and confusion were spot on, totally understandable, I would feel similarly overwhlemed if i was in his place. The whole idea of investment portfolios is surely very interesting and unique, and especially in terms of how you have merged the magical and muggle ideas in there. Even having wizards invest in both magical and muggle ventures, now that is something creative and practical and believable too! Poor Harry though, he really is lost, it makes sense that he has no idea how to manage anything, money or property or investments, and of course lovely Fleur understands. The whole goblin system and the linking of the vaults is another little detailed addition that works to add to the credibility of this world you have created or built upon so i like that too. And yay Harry buying his new broomstick for the team purposes - now that's fun! Wouldn't it have been nicer if he had taken Ron or someone along though? Regardless, the shopkeeper's interaction was also nicely done there and I liked the note this chapter ended on - it's all going well!

Author's Response: Hey again, adluvshp!

Again, thanks fir the review!

As I mentioned, I've tried to portray the characters as humanly as possible. Harry's befuddlement his new-found wealth and responsibility is just such a portrayal.

I'm glad you like the little details of wizarding banking...again, trying to be a s real as possible - little details do that.

Please read all of my chapters - you will find why Harry went to the Quidditch shop by himself in earlier chapters! :D

Keep those reviews coming!


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Review #33, by adluvshpChasing Life, Seeking Love, Keeping Hope: First Day On The Job

8th April 2017:
Aw Ron suggesting Hermione how to do stuff is so cute. What would she do without him really, sometimes she forgets she is a witch. Ginny, Ron and Harry all need to balance their schedules! Personally, Hermione would be a great Minister for Magic, much better than some lame people they have had like Fudge and Scrimgeour really. She is so passionate for her causes too - so I was really pleased that you included that bit of conversation even if it was meant as a joke and she says she has no desire to be minister as of now! It's sad about Harry and Ginny though, they will be seeing so less of each other - it will be like a long distance relationship, but then you write them so well and they fit so perfectly, am sure they will work things out! The whole "emotions" dialogue was the best - it reminded me of the teaspoon conversation between ron and hermione in order of the phoenix, you really draw amazing parallels and make me smile xD It's cute how Ron and Harry are starting to grow up and try to figure out the women in their lives and be good men to them. It's really refreshing to read a light fic overall about how their lives have progressed and changed and how things are going. I liked the chapter despite it being a filler of sorts! Lots of nice little details that add to the main narrative!

Author's Response: Hi adluvshp! Back again, I see!

I like to add bits in my story about how Hermione and Harry sometimes "forget" that they're witches and wizards. It seems logical to me.

I really liked writing the "emotions" dialogue, as you so aptly and nicely put it. It all seems logical and progressive to me...Harry is growing up and is 'free' from his destiny - he, naturally, would have to come to terms with his past and his future at some point. I'm glad you liked it!

Hope to hear more from you soon!


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Review #34, by adluvshpChasing Life, Seeking Love, Keeping Hope: Seamus Lends A Helping Hand...And Hammer.

8th April 2017:
Renovation time! It can be both fun and a pain, and I think you showed that pretty accurately. Seamus having a good craftsmanship came as a surprise but it's good he helped out with the extension charms and stuff. It takes a lot of thinking to write a chapter like this and it's nice you have taken what jkr wrote and built upon that in terms of the spells and all. I really liked the prototype fred and george built and how you used it to explain the bridging between muggle technology and magical devices. Good concept and nice way of expressing it. Weasley twins putting their creative brains to use! Also, kudos on keeping Seamus in character, the way you write his dialogue is perfect and reminds me of his canon self.

Friday night came quickly. Harry, with Teddy on his shoulders, was waiting for Ginny outside the Holyhead facilities when she came through the gate. -- aww the image of this is so cute, little Teddy sitting on his godfather's shoulders. The whole idea of magical cells was super cool too and I am glad Ginny and Fleur and all are going to be working on the project - definitely some interesting ideas there.
Oh and also I can't believe Ginny called Harry "tiger" haha. And yeah of course they will be okay, am sure things will work out for the best - really sweet moments there, and good writing. Kudos.

Author's Response: Hello, adluvshp! Thanks for returning to my story!

I always liked Seamus, so I tried to build on what canon said (or didn't say) about his background. He became a great ally to Harry, so I thought I would add him in the story. I'm glad you liked what i did with him!

Aha! Caught you! It was George , alone, who came up with the magical battery idea...Fred is, sadly, no longer with us, per canon. Please read both of my stories, in sequential order...I think you'll like what I did with George, especially in the second story!!

I love writing what I call "Teddy Moments"! I've tried to expound on that relationship, knowing how Harry would feel about "family"...especially his orphaned god-son!

Thanks for the read and review. I hope to see more from you!!!


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Review #35, by adluvshpChasing Life, Seeking Love, Keeping Hope: Final Matches

8th April 2017:
Aww Teddy is so adorable - yes Teddy Hawie will win haha. Harry is really lucky and blessed that his family and loved ones are so supportive of him. I wonder how video recorders can work in the Quidditch pitch though, doesn't the magical energy interfere with the electronic device (or the other way around)? But then I suppose that by this time they have learned to make things work.

You wrote the match quite well. It was quick and easy to read and not too long that it would get boring. Harry made a record of 45 seconds woohoo! And of course, gotta love Oliver Wood, am glad he was a part of the chapter!

Ginny's nervousness and anticipation and excitement all at once mixed up feelings totally made sense. I would feel like that too if I was in her place. You really got her character and emotions across well here! All of them playing Quidditch can of course be nerve-wracking and a little crazy but it works out fine in the end so yay!

I am not a huge fan of statistics and don't understand them all that well so I am not too happy that the chapter ended on that note with the statistics - would have been nicer if it was finished with a scene or a dialogue or a thought, but that is my personal opinion. Overall though, it was a good chapter with lots of energy and fast pacing and I really got into it while reading!

Author's Response: Hey, adluvshp!!

Again...love my Teddy Moments!!

In earlier chapters I explain how the magical cells work, so there's no magic interference. Please read this story through from front to back...I think you'll really like the details I throw in!!!

I'm sorry you weren't thrilled with the stats, but I added them for the hard-core Quidditch readers. Can't leave out the hard-core fans!!

I'm glad you like the action and pace of the chapter and I await more excellent reviews from you!!


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Review #36, by adluvshpChasing Life, Seeking Love, Keeping Hope: The Afterparty

8th April 2017:
The return of the famous beaded handbag! I loved it in the
deathly hallows so I am really glad you brought it in here.
That moment was so adorable when Harry got it and
everyone was amused, but then yay presents! It was very
sweet of him to show appreciation for everyone - it is so like
Harry, and I liked you showed that.

Lightening in a bolt or Calamity in a can hahaha that was so
fun. It sounded so authentic. The weasley twins never fail to
crack me up and you got them down really well. The ending
segment between Ginny and Harry was really sweet and as
always their romance makes me smile. The earring and the
inscription was beautiful. Your dialogues overall were very
much in character for the people too, like I liked how Molly
and Arthur got the vacation they wanted, and stuff. Oh and
Hagrid! I loved his inclusion in there, it's so great that you
had him because so many people forget to include him in
post-war stories. And that Hermione and Harry moment was
also very sweet, almost got me teary eyed the way he calls
her sis - it really puts their dynamic into perspective! All in
all lovely chapter, a very happy one, and I am glad things are
going well for the gang. Great work!

Author's Response: Love see you again, adluvshp!!

Ah yes...the beaded bag! You don't think Hermione would ever get rid of it, do you? LOL!

I've tried to stay in canon and true to the original characters as much as possible. With Harry and Hermione being besties, on the run for so long together and not romantically involved, I couldn't see Harry NOT having a brother/sister relationship with her. It only seemed natural.

Always love to hear from you...keep those reviews coming!!


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Review #37, by adluvshpChasing Life, Seeking Love, Keeping Hope: Some Tricky Magic

8th April 2017:
That bit of conversation when they were figuring out about the wards was really well-written. I liked how Ron came up with his own genius analogy of how it was like cake and managed to explain it too - in a way that it made sense to me too. And then Harry making the connection about the house-elves was perfect. The way you write how they all brainstorm stuff together is very effortless to read and understand. That little moment of Hermione being called "Miss SPEW" was cute hehe. And ugh Rita skeeter is so annoying. Didn't she learn her lesson in Hogwarts about slandering the "quartet". I could kill her, lol. Ginny's reaction was totally justified. Her feeling of not being able to help Harry and crying about it was a little strange because I would think she is usually stronger than that but oh well. It works along the storyline I suppose. Harry and Ginny are ridiculously adorable though. I love the sweet talk the two share, and their dialogues are really well-written. Their moments are my favourite and am glad you ended the chapter on such a nice note like that - him thinking that this is real family. Very sweet!

Author's Response: Hey, again, adluvshp!!

I really like this review contest thing going on!! Love getting and responding to reviews!! Thanks!!

You know...being an amateur thespian, I just hear their conversations in my head (Yes, with their different voices) and I just write what I hear. Weird, I know!

Yes, Ginny is a VERY strong woman...but when it's your soul-mate that is in turmoil and pain, even the strongest of women (and men) sometimes have to have a good cry. I find it an especially deep realization for Ginny. She is from a large family and probably has never know loneliness...especially the long-term loneliness that Harry has had to endure. That kind of world-changing view can have a profound emotional impact on a person...even one as strong as Ginny!

I love that you liked the chapter. Keep reading and reviewing!! :D


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Review #38, by adluvshpChasing Life, Seeking Love, Keeping Hope: Thinking Outside The Box

8th April 2017:
Ooh martial arts, that's an interesting inclusion and i liked how you have gone in depth regarding that here - research must have gone into it! This Master Wu was an interesting and enjoyable character to read. Your mix of the martial arts with magic is a great concept and then the way you have written it, I am able to imagine the scene and visualise what's happening! This whole angle of Quidditch with investors and all is also quite new and interesting, we definitely did not think of all this when we read about Quidditch in the canon books but your perspective on all this makes a lot of sense! It's really fun that they are going to be silent investors too, I was not expecting that, and Hermione's reasoning as always is on point. "W AND W Investing" - so devious haha, I love it the way Ron loved the idea too. Hermione is after all an awesome devious member of the trio too. I am also looking forward to Fleur's involvement, it's a great thing they have included her! I am glad the couples are having a good time and that their life is sorted, or it's on the path to be at least! The interactions and thoughts were nicely written, good work!

Author's Response: Again, hello adluvshp!!

I thought the mixture of martial arts and wizardry worked quite well and quite natural. I have practiced a few styles of martial arts, so yes, there was some research, but also some practical experience.

Also, I figured Quidditch is a professional sport, so there had to be some type of investment...just like other pro sports...so i added that into the story line. I'm glad you could follow the idea.

Well, with all the devious things the Golden Trio did while students, I didn't think it would rub off too soon! :)

Glad you liked the ideas and the chapter! Keep it up...I'd love some more reviews from you!


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Review #39, by adluvshpChasing Life, Seeking Love, Keeping Hope: Luna Gets The Inside Scoop

8th April 2017:
Ooh Neville proposed to Hannah, that's so sweet. It's nice that post-war all these guys (and girls) have kept in touch and are friends and things are going well for all of them. I also liked the inclusion of Luna in this chapter. Writing her can be difficult but I think you did a fairly good job of writing her, especially in terms of dialogues. The interview was a nice way to get out all the information and the inside thoughts of the group. And the way Harry revealed Ginny was his girlfriend was cute, hehe. I like how you modified the muggle saying to a magical one by saying "kneazle" instead of cat by the way. And ugh I totally cringe at "Golden Quartet" that sounds so bad, worse than golden trio, haha. Also the way luna got dazed out and was captivated by their answers was in-character and also really sweet. The last bit was nice too, with Ginny saying Luna was like family. It warmed my heart. Such little touches work well to add intricacy to the story. I really enjoyed reading the backstories of what they all did after the war too, and overall I think it was a great way to take the story forward. Oh and Hermione doing welfare work for elves and creatures and stuff is also awesome, very much in character and loved that addition!

Author's Response: Thanks, adluvshp!

Writing Luna was a bit tricky...I know she seems a bit daft most of the time, but I wanted to show her maturing with the others, but not losing her "Lunaness", if you know what I mean.

I'm really glad you liked the little touches and back stories...I try to fill in gaps whenever I can and I'd set that up in earlier chapters, so I felt the time was right with this chapter.

Thanks again and keep reading...you know I love reviews!!


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Review #40, by adluvshpChasing Life, Seeking Love, Keeping Hope: Puddlemere vs. Pride of Portree

8th April 2017:
Harry contemplating about not knowing what love was made me so very sad. Of all the people in the HP universe, he should not be feeling like that - and I'm glad he realised that. His doubts made sense but then I was happy he came to the conclusion that he could love and make Ginny happy! Also, random thing but I love the idea of Harry with a golden hoop earring hehe.


"Harry felt a sense of calm and stillness that he had never felt before. The pitch became crystal clear.." This entire paragraph was really well-written and visually appealing. I was transported into the scene and could imagine the calm and happiness he felt on the pitch. And from that point on, the match was written very well, great descriptions and detail. I wish you broke up the huge chunks of paragraphs though as they can be a little hard on the eye to read and I tend to lose track of the flow at times. But besides that, this makes for a good read and the characters are relatable. Teddy is so adorable and I absolutely love how Harry treats his little godson, that is one side of him we did not get to see in the books but you have shown well. And also, i love how we see young harry still in him - that he did not hear anything because he was so focused on the match. great details there.

Author's Response: Hey adluvshp...nice to see you!!

Well, Harry has only realized recently what real, true love is...so he's still a bit wary of it, I think. He can be a bit thick about those kinds of things.

Oooh...I love when people say they can "see" what I wrote, like a movie or something. Lets me know I've hit the nail on the head!!

I will take you advice and try to break those big blocks up a bit.

And, I love my "Teddy Moments"...that's what I call the bits with Harry and Teddy together! He's adorable. I hope I've done him justice!

Thanks again for the review...keep 'em coming!!!


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Review #41, by adluvshpChasing Life, Seeking Love, Keeping Hope: A letter for Harry

8th April 2017:
Ooh a Harry and Quidditch story, very interesting! So, I really like how you have set up the plot here for the things to come - Harry will be a great seeker for sure. The way you wrote the dialogues between the characters was good as I felt I was a part of the scene and the household and could see the chatter that was going on. I wish there had been a little more description though. More of an inner turmoil or thoughts of harry, the description of the surroundings and the interspacing of dialogues and narrative. It might have added more color. Regardless, Ron's and Ginny's characters were on point and I liked their dialogue. Harry wanting to go back and do his NEWTs also makes sense, the poor kid really does need his education to be completed and he was being practical. Mrs Weasley was of course right in giving him space and time to think though, and it was also very much like him to want to ask others like Ginny for the opinions. Her explanation and reasoning was perfect and I felt nice that Harry has her in his life even though I have never been much of a Harry/Ginny shipper. The way you portray it, the two complement each other. Hermione was also very much in character and I smiled when she gave Harry a hug and told him he deserves to do what he wants for once and not what others want. Overall, this looks like the start of a great story and I am curious to see how the plot is shaped further and where Harry goes on this journey.

Author's Response: adluvshp, thanks for the review!

I always thought Harry would do a bit of Quidditch before his Auror career, so this is my attempt at that.

I will admit, this story was the first time I had written in many, many years. I have not edited the first few chapters mainly because I wanted to see my own writing progress. I know it's not the best situation for my readers, but I hope you will see my progress as you make your way through my story.

I'm glad you like the Harry/Ginny ship as well as Hermione/Ron... I have tried to keep them in character!

Please continue reading...I think you'll like where the story line goes! :)

Again, thanks for the review!!


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Review #42, by adluvshpOne Last Victory: Doubt

8th April 2017:
Aww poor McGonagall is dead, I can't believe it. This was oh so sad but at the same time very touching as well because it showed Minerva's spirit. It made sense that she was ageing and dying and yet she did not want to leave hogwarts because she loved her students and the castle so much. I really enjoyed reading her conversation with the portrait of Dumbledore - he is her only friend and it made sense that she would talk to him about her problems even though he is only a shadow of his living self. Her frustration was very evident and I also felt bad for her. I did not like how neville and hannah and all were talking about her though. I am sure they meant well but it gave off a negative vibe and I would think they respected, valued and loved Minerva more. The ending would have been nicer if there were slightly more description as I did not quite understand who had come to take her. I am guessing it was her husband but it was not very clear (was his name Elf)? I would have also perhaps liked to see more of the letter she wrote, the last thing or her last words to the living world. Besides that though, this was an interesting one-shot and an ode to Minerva and her spirit and I really liked it. Great work!

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Review #43, by adluvshpUnexpected Parenthood: Chapter One

8th April 2017:
Ooh so at first I thought this is going to be just another teen pregnancy fic but then I started reading and realised that it was actually pretty different because she has already had babies - twins wow, that is sure a handful. It is really nice that you have portrayed all of this in a positive light, like her family is pretty supportive, McGonagall (in the flashback and present) didn't make a big deal out of it, and that she got a tutor and everything and was able to study from home. These are realistic scenarios. Of course, right now she also seems to like her motherhood and her babies so that's nice too. I wonder how difficult life will be at Hogwarts though - if she is going to take her twins along, it will be strange indeed plus tough to balance stuff out, and what would she say to her friends and the ex who she still loves a little? Another option would be leaving the twins at home and seeing them on weekends or something but I don't know if that would be feasible? So really my curiosity is piqued to know where things go from here and what direction the plot is headed in. Your writing is casual and easy to read and overall your main character seems likeable so far and I was able to connect with her. Good work!

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Review #44, by adluvshpSpotless Mind: Eternal Sunshine

8th April 2017:
Aw, this was a sweet albeit a little funny fic. Draco whining so much and being so sad and bursting into tears is kind of hard to imagine, but I suppose he changed after everything that happened to him in this universe. You explained the backstory comprehensively and that was nice, I got the context of where he is today and where he was and how things were for him. Boy, it's hard to imagine a poor and helpless Draco Malfoy. Imagining him working at a Muggle store is even more crazy - the things you have to do. this really shows how massively war can change things. Angie seems sweet (she is my namesake haha) and i liked that she extended a hand of friendship to draco despite his rude behaviour to the staff. They are all such nice people, the muggles, and it's good Draco is realising that. I feel bad for him honestly so it is sweet things are looking up. Even his mother sent him a christmas card! Though i really think he should take care of her better and try to help her out of depression. The dialogue and monologue both worked well here though I would have certainly liked more narrative description as it would have added to the visual appeal of the story as well. Characterisations could have also been better built with that, but then I suppose it's only a one-shot so it is fine. I enjoyed reading it and if nothing it made me smile.

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Review #45, by adluvshpDouble Trouble: All's Fair in Love and War

8th April 2017:
Bahahahaha - weddings are a blast. I loved that pun right there. And omg this is so awesome - a Fred and George fic that does not make me want to burst into tears. I loved how you wrote this in an AU where both the twins are alive and happy after the war and everyone has gotten married and they think of this awesome way to get married. Aziza and Akila are interesting names and it sounds like they are sisters too (or are they twins) and that sounds cool. The idea that the two would marry pranksters like them is brilliant and makes so much sense. The four of them will always have a gala time and end up enjoying life so much. Loved the inclusion of poor Muriel, and oh dear the thought of belly dancing house elves cracked me up so hard. I wish Dobby was alive to partake in this, he would have so much fun! I also really liked your writing and clever use of phrasing, like comparing Aunt Muriel to a bear out of hibernation. Some things are actually quite visual and I couldn't help grinning, which is cool since I am not usually a fan of humor fics. The dialogue was also pretty well-written and felt like it was the twins' dialogues, they were a lot like their canon selves, and I liked that. Good job overall, cheers!

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Review #46, by adluvshpTroubled waters: A chance encounter

8th April 2017:
Okay this was a surprising and interesting and fun read. Ron and Pansy is an odd pairing but i suppose people can change and anything can happen after a few years (and a few drinks haha). Your portrayal of her as being the way she is helps take the plot forward so that's good, and the way you wrote how harry and ron found it surprisingly fun to spend time with her worked well to ease into the narrative. The way you subtly told us backstories without dumping it in the face like churning out information was also good. I love the healthy mix of dialogue and narrative you have going on and it definitely didn't bore me while reading. I am curious to know what happens next, and how things will take a turn for Ron and Pansy when things go wrong. You have set up the plot for it quite well, though I feel bad for Hermione since Ron is going to cheat - no matter how drunk he is here. Of course, the way harry and ron were talking and checking pansy out felt a little OOC but then I suppose they are more mature now and more men-ish, and possibly drunk enough to talk like that lol. Also, the "famous boy" nickname is kinda lame but also cute - I think Harry would hate it under normal circumstances though I can see Ron relishing in it. Besides that, this was an enjoyable read and i definitely want to click on the next button to see what happens next. Until then, kudos for roping me in!

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Review #47, by adluvshpShoulder to Shoulder: Pankhurst, Vance

8th April 2017:
Aw, this was absolutely beautiful and made me tear up a little. I am not exaggerating because the concept itself was so beautiful. The idea of Emmeline being named after the british movement leader was brilliant and i loved how you played around with it to weave this lovely one-shot together. I love women fighters and the way you incorporated that here was amazing. The use of words and the overall writing style was also beautiful. "Emerald, amethyst, diamond." That itself was so powerful and visual and struck a chord. Using that to describe the lights and colors of the spells being fired was genius. The little snippets from her memories, particularly of her grandmother, were great additions and the brackets did not break the flow of the narrative at all. It all sounded very poetic, and then the grandma's last words totally touched my heart. How it inspires Emmeline to continue fighting and doing everything she can was superb and I really connected with her in such a short span of a one-shot. "The first and last she will lose." My god, this line. It says so much - it means she died and my poor heart cannot take it. Why could not she have won? Sigh. Nevertheless, she fought bravely and I raise my wand to her in respect. Really, this was a surreal and extremely well-written one-shot and I am so glad i got a chance to read it!

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Review #48, by adluvshpLatet Anguis in Herba: Prologue

8th April 2017:
Ooh, this was an interesting little start to your story. It served as a great first chapter and I thoroughly enjoyed the perspective of a third person narrator who is a complete outsider. His comments on how the three kids were odd and talking of strange names and teams and games and coming from a weird school and all of that made sense and also made me chuckle a bit. A normal muggle would of course be baffled by such vocabularly. I was not sure who this story was about though until you mentioned Tobias Grey! This is Tobias Snape right? I'm wondering where you're headed with this - and curious why he is Tobias Grey here (though it could be me being dumb and this could be a complete OC). Nevertheless, the characters of the three friends are interesting so far and the dynamics you have established definitely establish something for the coming chapters. I loved the little detail about Tobias sampling everything because of course the Muggle drinks, even if it is only cider, would be fascinating to him (them in general). Your descriptions were also really good and in the beginning bits, your tone almost gave a jkr type of writing appeal so kudos for that. I really liked it!

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Review #49, by adluvshpStarving Artists: New Horizon

8th April 2017:
Aw, this was so beautiful and sweet and heart-warming. I really loved the use of different POVs, first it was "I" then "You" and then "We" in the segments and that was really brilliant writing, it showed a subtle change too and it worked really well. Your descriptions were magnificent and the imagery was beautiful. I could feel myself flying when i was reading your description of it, it was so captivating. I found the overall piece a little hard to follow but then I re-read a couple of sentences and it made sense. I mainly had trouble figuring out who was who in the I/You thing but that could just be my tired brain. What was the best part of this little one-shot was the ending bit. The little napkin drawing of three years ago, and then the proposal, and the soft spoken yes, it made me go "aww". I loved these two as a couple and it would be even more amazing if I could read more about them - like a sequel maybe or another chapter that gives us some backstories and more build up of what happens next or how they have come to be? Besides that, really enjoyed reading your narrative as it had great flow and writing style. Oh and i want to add that i loved the details of the ball like who was dancing with whom and who was talking and the mention of how Harry still wrote even though Dean felt it was out of an obligation for the DA.

great job!

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Review #50, by adluvshpDetox: Sobering Up

8th April 2017:
Wow, this was lovely. I am so so excited to read the rest of the story already because I love Draco and I love a remorseful Draco even more, and post-war stories give me all the feels. I think you have written him very well here, in-character but at the same time he is a changed man. I love the impact that the brief meeting with Astoria had on his life and how he is ready to change his ways and I'm excited to see which course he sets upon now. Astoria also seems very sweet and kind and at the same time has her tinge of Slytherin - love the little details like her devilish smiles or "finders keep". Her care and friendship is exactly what Draco needs. I wonder if both of them will return to hogwarts. I also felt that the beginning section of the story was brilliantly written, you used amazing imagery and the way you describe his state of drunkenness is spot on. It made me feel a little dazed myself hehe. The snippets of backstory we got here were also very good, like the sad morning routine he has had since the war, and how he knows his parents' as well. And the dirty looks he gets from people around and how he is a reminder of the war makes sense too. I feel bad for him already and I hope things get better. All in all, brilliant chapter to get things started and set your plot moving and keep me connected with the characters! I already ship Draco/Astoria now xD

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