Reading Reviews From Member: adluvshp
  
1,926 Reviews Found

Review #26, by adluvshpA Tale of Three Children: Muggle-Born

23rd February 2016:
Hey! Lost Muse here from the forums with your much delayed requested review.

Ooh I really enjoyed reading this! Your writing style is refreshing and engaging and pulled me right in. I liked how you described Joey seeing signs of the wizarding world and yet not being able to pinpoint why. Any normal clueless person would react like that and you have done a good job of showing it.

I absolutely loved the arrival of Hagrid and his pink umbrella. It made me grin, transporting me back to Philosopher's stone when Harry finds out he's a wizard. The reaction of the parents is very apt too and made me chuckle.

Your descriptions, grammar, and overall narrative looks good, and I didn't spot any glaring errors. The character of Joey looks interesting and I like how you've portrayed him so far. It'd be good to watch him grow as the story progresses.

Do keep writing! Great start to the story =)

Cheers,
Angie

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Review #27, by adluvshpCatching Captain: Party Pandemonium

23rd February 2016:
Hey! Lost Muse from the forums here with your much delayed requested review.

I really enjoyed reading this. I don't know why you'd say your first chapter isn't hooking enough because it surely was hooking for me to read through all the chapters posted and decide to review this one =)

Your characterisation of James is brilliant and I really enjoy reading him. Love the way you write dialogue too. It flows naturally and is engaging. His equation with Emma is interesting to read and I like how you portray her from James' POV.

The narrative is perfect with right balance between humour and normalcy. Nothing is over the top and your descriptions work very well to paint the scenes in front of reader eyes.

The supporting cast of characters like Lily and Dave are also well written and I enjoy reading them and their interactions with the MCs. I already ship James/Emma too, haha.

All in all, I think your story is headed in a good direction. The plot is fun and the writing is quite good. For CC, I'd just say work on your flow a little bit - it comes across as stunted sometimes - the transitions between scenes and such. Besides that, it's very good and I liked the story a lot!!

Keep writing. Cheers!
~Angie

Author's Response: Hi! Sorry for taking so long to get back to this, I've been really caught up with exams, and had only enough time to check hpff for 2 minutes at a time.

It's really, really reassuring to know that the story is hooking, because that was one of my bigger worries for the first few chapters.

Thanks for all the feedback, it's really helpful! I wasn't too big on the transitions between scenes either, so it's definitely something I'll work on in the next few chapters.

Thanks again!


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Review #28, by adluvshpNine Years: May 29th, 1993

23rd February 2016:
Hey! Lost Muse here for your very delayed requested review from the forums.

So, instead of reviewing Chapter1 , I whooshed through this story and decided to review this one =) And I don't regret my decision.

Your characterisation of Fred and Lee is lovely. I really like how you write them. And of course, George too. The way you've shown the canon events unfold through their eyes is very interesting. Knowing their thoughts and actions behind those scenes is great and you've done justice to it.

I like how Lee was there for Fred in this chapter, and the way he comforted him. The awkwardness he felt was also natural and you wrote everything realistically. The descriptions were great. I felt really sad for Fred, and his reaction to the Ginny ordeal was understandable. The narrative was perfect.

The characters are definitely likeable and events are pretty much in line with canon. You've a good hold on the plot and I'm intrigued as to how things proceed. Great job and keep writing!

Cheers
Angie

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

I like writing in canon-era but about different events. It takes some of the pressure off plot and means I can focus on the characters instead.

And I'm so glad you think the characters are likeable!

Emma xx


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Review #29, by adluvshpHermione's Birthday Surprise!: Part I

23rd February 2016:
Hey!

Ooh this was a delightful little treat to read. I loved how fluffy and cute this was. Hermione's swooning over Draco was just adorable. I loved how you gave us some backstory regarding their situation before jumping into the main scene. I really enjoyed your descriptions.

And what Draco did for Hermione with the candles and the petals, merlin he is perfect haha. I really liked reading their banter too, and now I'm very curious to see what else he has in store for her.

Great read! Hope I can be back for the next chapter soon.

Cheers!
Angie
(Lost Muse)

Author's Response: Oh hey Angie!
I'm really glad you enjoyed this. This made my day! As I know how awesome a writer you are, any praise coming from you is huge indeed! This little piece actually started out as a challenge one-shot, but it had a mind of its own and got a little out of hand. Nevertheless, I'm stoked that you liked it! Thank you! ::hugs::
Bimah


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Review #30, by adluvshpChandelier: Chandelier

22nd February 2016:
Hey Nix!

Ooh I really enjoyed reading this! Your characterisation of Pansy is very good. Her actions and thoughts make sense. The way you started this off with the end of the battle was really good. And how Pansy couldn't believe anything was real - it was a very natural reaction. And then her sister leaving, merlin, I felt bad for Pansy. She really did lose everything, and you got that across very well.

Draco breaking up with her was another brutal move. How you showed Pansy breaking apart was perfect, and then I loved how sweet Blaise was throughout, trying to be there for her. It made sense for her to keep pushing him away.

The manner in which Pansy became a 'party girl' was again realistic. Sometimes, it happens that you want to be a whole new person, and after everything she went through, it came across naturally why she'd behave the way she did. I liked how you didn't go into explicit detail about her lifestyle but told us enough to understand what she was doing and what was going on. The whole "being numb" to everything was perfect.

Gah I loved the ending bit. I am so glad everything came together. Blaise confessed he liked her. It was so adorable that he hung around all these years for her. And her contemplating on this ordeal was cute. I was happy she decided to take his advice, turn her life around, and be with Blaise - he is a good guy. Loved your portrayal of him.

All in all, this flowed smoothly and had a brilliant narrative. Your dialogues were great and the overall plot and characterisation was superb. As always, I loved your writing. Great take on Pansy!

Cheers
Angie

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the lovely review, Angie! I'm so glad you liked this story! Even though I am planning on completely rewriting to make it flow better and add more backstory to it.

xxNix


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Review #31, by adluvshpChasing Dragons : But Guys, Dragons

22nd February 2016:
Hey there!

What a lovely read! I love your characterisation of Charlie. He is honest, he knows what he wants, and he doesn't hesitate to go after it. The way he imagines the Quidditch game to actually be in a dragon sanctuary is very cool and shows how much he wants that. You've portrayed great imagery to convey his dream and passion. The friendship detail with H was very sweet, and I liked the interaction with the uncle and how ecstatic Charlie was to get the offer.

Your descriptions and use of words was wonderful, and overall flow was great. I really enjoyed reading this! A refreshing take on Charlie =)

Cheers
Angie (Lost Muse)

Author's Response: Aw thank you so much!

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Review #32, by adluvshpZephira helps decorate: Tree!

17th February 2016:
Hey! Wish you a very happy birthday! I'm just randomly popping by to give you this review as a present xD

I loved reading this! It was so cute and adorable. For animal lovers, specifically cat lovers, like myself, I think it makes for a great read. I loved how you never mentioned the narrator was a cat and yet we got enough hints to guess the nature of the creature.

The point of view is very well written with the inclusions of the smell, the way she sees them kissing as "marking each other as their own", and the need to sleep in the box. The entire time I was reading this, I was smiling, because the mannerisms reminded me so much of my cat! You totally nailed the character.

Luna and Rolf were also very sweet seen through the eyes of Zephira. Unique and interesting name by the way! It sounds exactly like what Luna would name her pet.

Your descriptions were great and overall this flowed smoothly. I had a good time reading it. Glad I stopped by! Lovely writing. Happy birthday once again!

Cheers,
Angie
(Lost Muse from the forums)

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the birthday review. I truly appreciate it.

I love cats and have written so much about them or with them and I think I've got a real feel for how they behave, and I'm glad you liked it.

I've had the name Zephira for a while in my head as Luna's pet and have written her three times in stories.

Glad you liked the descriptions and the characterization of Zephira and Luna and Rolf. I love writing all of them. All of them.

Thanks again for the kind review, I very much appreciate every review I get.


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Review #33, by adluvshpDaydreaming: Daydreaming

3rd January 2016:
Hey Nix! Snake review tag. Okay, I swear I've read this story before but I'm surprised I didn't review it (shame on me). I'm here with a review now though, haha.

This was so cool. I totally enjoyed reading it. It was a perfect light Dramione treat. The last line cracked me up. Poor Draco, definitely needs to get his head checked. I loved how you wove the idea of them getting it on into a dream. Keeps it fun as well as real.

Your dialogue was brilliant. The whole "what do you want Malfoy - you" thing was so adorable. And then your descriptions were great. That kiss was HOT. Haha.

The ending scene made me a little sad though - like come on you were just dreaming about her, don't be SO rude, especially when Hermione was being so nice and concerned.

All in all, I really liked reading it. Definitely a fun little one-shot. Your writing rocks as always! Good job xD

Cheers
Angie

Author's Response: Awwwm thanks so much, Angie!

I love that this story is light and funny, but still true to the characters. Like if they were ever going to get it on realistically, it would probably be in a dream, lol.

I loved writing the dialogue and the descriptions so I'm really glad that you also loved them. And the kiss, yeah...

The ending is a little sad. Draco shouldn't be so rude, but it is very Draco of him. I see it as him having just experienced a very vulnerable moment, and in front of the same person he was dreaming about, and immediately putting those walls back up, so that's why he's so mean to Hermione. He's got a reputation to protect and he doesn't want her to see through his cold exterior.

But I'm so glad you liked this! Thanks so much for the awesome review!

xxNix


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Review #34, by adluvshpIntemptesta Nox: The Assignment

30th December 2015:
Hey! Here for the awfully late requested review. I read both the first chapter and this one, and I must say, your plot is decidedly creepy and interesting and I'm loving it.

The way you've built the "mystery" is very interesting. Your characterisation of Dumbledore was very nicely done in this chapter, and of course the MC is well-written.

I like your dialogue. It's sophisticated and speaks of a good level of writing. It also flows naturally and the narrative works great with it. The theme of the story overall is particularly intriguing and I am curious to know what happens next.

The flow between the two chapters was great and I look forward to see how else the plot goes ahead and the story shapes up. I quite liked this! Great job =) I don't have any CC for you!

Cheers
Angie
(Lost Muse)

Author's Response: Hi Angie!

Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule. I know you've had a lot going on so I appreciate the review.

I'm so happy that you found my characterization of Dumbledore to be well done. I worried about that. He's not one of my favorite characters, so I tend to deliberate when choosing his dialogue. Let's face it, he's a proper, older British man and I'm a middle-age Southern-raised US Latina who's never been to that side of the pond. :)

As for Aislinn, her tale is so unlike anything I've written before. The way she speaks and the manner in which the tale is presented was a bit surprising to me. I kind of just let my muse run with it, so to speak. I am glad you found the first chapter to be creepy. I used to watch a lot of horror films growing up, so it's easy to see those influences here. Melding them with the HP verse was a fun personal challenge.

Thanks again for stopping by.

:hugs:

~Alexis


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Review #35, by adluvshpOnce Upon The Marauders: The Untold Story: 2nd Year - Hogwarts Express, Take Two

30th December 2015:
Hey! Here for the awfully delayed requested review.

I quite liked this! Your story is headed in a good direction. I'm enjoying the Lily-Severus drama, and looking forward to see more of the Lily/James dynamic too. Adhara is an interesting character and I'm curious to see where her story is headed.

The Regulus-Sirius interaction was my favourite bit in this chapter. I think you did a great job of portraying their relationship and the feelings they harbour. The characterisations were very well done there.

Lucius and Snape's interaction was also very intriguing. It follows in line with canon, and I enjoyed their dialogue. You write dialogue very well overall and it makes for a good read.

All in all, I'm quite liking this story. You have a solid plot on your hands here. My only CC would be to polish your narrative a little bit to make it read a lot less like random scenes and more like one connected story. And perhaps increase the pace a little bit as it's slightly slow. But those are just my personal views, and besides that, you're a terrific writer and you should definitely keep writing. You're doing good =)

Cheers
Angie
(Lost Muse)

Author's Response: Hello angie!

Thanks for stopping by! I'm so glad you like my story!

It's a relief to know my dialogues are good. I'm finding it tougher to write dialogues that are age appropriate you know. My mind keeps coming up with dialogues that are more likely said by fifteen and sixteen year olds! I need to constantly remind myself they're all only 12.

I do feel it's moving quite slowly... especially now beacause I've got their later years planned well, and nothing for years three and four. It's important that the reader doesn't feel the scenes are random and disconnected. I'll try to improve the pacing and time.

Thanks a lot for your reivew Angie!


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Review #36, by adluvshpThe Twelve Days of Christmas: Lucy

30th December 2015:
Hey! Here for review tag =)

Aw, this was so very sweet. Lucy and Elsie are the cutest couple ever! I love how you wrote their love for each other. They're so happy together. And they're so "normal". They like to stay in their pyjamas and watch Muggle films, haha. I loved that. The way they're supportive of each other's careers, despite not earning well, is so sweet, haha. It was cute how Elsie took care of Lucy and made sure she went to bed. And the ending just made me smile.

All in all, what a lovely little Christmas fic. I surely enjoyed it! Your writing was great and the concept was unique and fun and very adorable. Great job!

Love
Angie
(Lost Muse)

Author's Response: Hello Angie!

Thank you so much for the review! Sorry it's taken me so long to respond, I've been swamped lately.

I'm so happy you liked this story. Lucy and Elsie are my favourites, I've made up an elaborate backstory for them. And this one was totally written as my wish fulfillment sort of thing. I believe I was also meant to be studying while I wrote this, but I don't have an Elsie to take care of me, haha.

Thanks again for dropping by! I'm so glad you liked this!

Stefanie


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Review #37, by adluvshpdorcas. : meadowes

21st December 2015:
Wow, this was so, so, so beautiful. I absolutely loved it. Your writing is magnificent. The descriptions are so amazing that I was completely sucked into it while reading. You portrayed Dorcas beautifully. I love her personality, she's so fierce and crazy and good and 'bad' all at once, she's flawed but she's perfect, and my god I love her so much. You've brought such an interesting facet to her character with your writing.

The descriptions and imagery here was phenomenal. Loved the recurring use of "colours" and the writing style, and some random use of italics like 'the blood wont come off'. Her relationship with Marlene was sad and beautiful and heartbreaking. I was sad when she left her, and then Marlene gave her the news of her sister's death, and then they started afresh in the Order, only for Marlene to die. So tragic and heartbreaking. So many feels.

The ending bit was the most powerful. Voldemort came for her and yet Dorcas was fearless. She died fighting. I loved that. You made me really connect with her throughout the story so when her death came, it really hit me. Such a powerful moment and yet so simply it happened.

All in all, I really loved reading this. You have a very strong entry on your hands here! Beautiful use of words, great characterisation, and lovely theme. The narrative was captivating and the overall emotional gradient was perfect. I loved it. Wow!

10/10
Angie
(Lost Muse)

Advent Calendar Day Twenty One

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Review #38, by adluvshpChristmas Eve at the Burrow: Christmas Eve

12th December 2015:
Aw! This was so sweet. I absolutely loved reading it. Such a fluffy, happy glimpse into a wonderful family's Christmas. The short scenes showing an insight into the different families, from Ron/Hermione to Harry/Ginny to George/Angelina was all too sweet, and written very realistically. The inclusion of little Teddy and Victoire was just adorable, and the ending made me smile.

All in all, I had such a nice time reading this. It's a perfect Christmas story that brings a smile to your face. The descriptions were lovely and the dialogue was perfect. Great job =) Wish you a very Happy Holidays!

Love,
Angie
(Lost Muse)

Author's Response: Hi Angie!
I'm so glad you enjoyed this! I love writing fluffy one-shots like this, especially when they're set at Christmastime! I liked getting to look at little snapshots of everyone's lives before they all came together at the Burrow, and then just focus on capturing the happy, cozy atmosphere. I'm glad you liked Teddy and Victoire! I couldn't resist adding them in!
Thank you so much for the sweet review!
Cassie :)


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Review #39, by adluvshpAmnesia: Amnesia

10th December 2015:
Hey love! I have been wanting to check out your AP for ages but time constraints have stopped me. but I'm glad the Advent Calendar's Day Nine finally pushed me here! You've been on this site for 5 years which is an amazing time and you have so many lovely stories up, and you're such a wonderful writer, I can't believe I haven't read your work before!

Anyway, on to the review, I LOVED THIS! You write second person so well. You're my new role model in terms of writing xD I could literally feel this person's emotions and pain and confusion throughout. And your descriptions, my goodness, what perfection is that. The imagery is just tragically beautiful. The narrative flowed so smoothly and I was totally engrossed in this while reading.

I loved how you never once mentioned that this is about a werewolf yet your descriptions were brilliant enough to convey that point. The excruciating pain at the beginning describes the painful transformation very very well. This indeed totally creeped me out and now I'm thinking it wasn't a great idea to read this at 1 AM because I'm going to have werewolves haunting my dreams tonight xP

All in all, what a powerful one-shot. It was short but very much on point and I'm worshipping your writing right now. Great job!

Love,
Angie
(Lost Muse)

Author's Response: :O *Gasps* ANGIE! ♥

Thank you SO MUCH for stopping by, and reading and reviewing this! I didn't even realize I had any new reviews until I went to the Advent Calendar thread on the forums and saw you had posted a link to this review there, so this was such a pleasant surprise and just TOTALLY made my day!

And EEEK your compliments!! *sobs* Thank you SO MUCH, I'm so flattered! This was actually my first attempt at second person so I'm so pleased that you liked it! And :O I'm your role model? *sobs more* You are SO sweet! But really, you are SUCH an amazing author yourself, dear! I really admire your work!! EEEk Stahp it Angie! *Flails* Description is something I have ALWAYS struggled with, so your compliment really means the world to me! I'm so happy that you could feel the emotions, and that you thought it flowed smoothly! ♥

I'm so glad that you were able to deduce from the description that this was a werewolf! I wanted to give it a bit of ambiguity, but I also wanted it to be clear, at least by the end, what was happening, so I'm so thrilled that it worked! And Oh no!! I hope you don't have any nightmares about this! I'm sorry! *hugs*

GAH!! Angie I just can't right now! You're so sweet, thank you SO MUCH!! ♥ *squishes* THANK YOU!


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Review #40, by adluvshpThe Twelve Days of Christmas: Victoire

2nd December 2015:
Hey! Lost Muse from the forums here for a review swap =)

I really enjoyed this! It was so sweet, I just went "Aww." I think you did a brilliant job of writing a very cute Teddy/Victoire happy family. Teddy was so adorable, Victoire was sweet, and baby Nymph was just too cute. It was sweet how Vic wanted the perfect Christmas picture and then they got a totally hilarious one. I actually chuckled while reading the scene of the vomit-on-father-christmas.

All in all, this made for a lovely little read! Superb characterisation, nice dialogue, and nice flow. Enjoyed the narrative and it gave me a smile. A very apt Christmas fic!

Thank you for swapping, hope you like my story too =)

Love,
Angie

Author's Response: Hello Angie!

Thanks so much for the lovely review! I'm so happy you liked this story. I've been writing so much dramatic, angsty stuff lately, so it was awesome to write this fun little one.

I love Teddy, Victoire, and Nymph. I just picture them as the perfect little family, it's just so cute!! And Christmas is my favourite holiday, so I couldn't resist doing this.

Thanks so much for the the wonderful review!!

Stefanie


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Review #41, by adluvshpForever in my Heart: Molly

2nd December 2015:
omg Anja what did you do to me. why why why

i am a mess now

crying forever

pool of tears

=( =( =(
asdfghjkl;

SO MANY FEELS

Okay I need to be a lot more coherent, but I can't promise anything. I'll try!

This was a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful piece of writing. Pure perfection. I loved it so much. The emotions here overwhelmed me and made me cry. I'm not even exaggerating. I have tears in my eyes right now - which is not good 'cause I'm at lunch break in my office. And people are going to pass by and stare and ask me what's wrong. What am I supposed to say?

ANJA WROTE THIS PIECE OF PERFECTION THAT MADE ME CRY AND NOW I CAN'T PULL MYSELF TOGETHER.

okay sorry about that. moving on to coherency (or not i dont know), I loved your characterisation of Molly. YOU GET HER SO WELL. You're right there in her head and you've given such a perfect insight into her. You've transported me to her head. And reading her perspective of the war is just wow.

The beginning bit was amazing. I especially ached when Molly is imagining her "dead children", and it broke my heart, because it shows just how much she loves them, and of course she does, and it was a beautiful thing to play with what we've seen a glimpse of in canon with the Boggart.

The moment between Minerva and Molly - GOLD. Wow, I loved the stark contrast between their personalities in the brief interaction they shared, and at the same time, how they were similar and united in their desperation and fear and determination and fierceness.

AND YOUR DESCRIPTIONS OMG I WANT TO CRY. THAT ENTIRE BATTLE SCENE, WOW.

"Ice. It felt like ice, gripping at her heart, but at the same time it was searing hot pain that engulfed her whole, flames that were going to burn her until nothing was left." such beauty and perfection and amazingness i'm just out of words. i dont know how you do this, i wish i could write like you.

and then

"The boggarts had been too kind to her. She hadnít even considered - not even in her worst nightmares - losing one of the twins. They belonged together."

OH GOD SO MUCH THIS. I HAVE DISSOLVED INTO TEARS YET AGAIN. ANJA WHY =(

It makes perfect sense Molly couldn't imagine ONE of the twins dying even in her worst nightmare. They truly did belong together. And her train of thought here, it is spot on. You totally nailed it. And gave me so many feels. I wish I could just hug George, and hug Molly. Poor, poor babies =(

And omg Molly thinking she was a bad mother to let this war affect her children. that is just awful. no one should think like that. MOLLY IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.

excuse me while i cry some more.

but seriously how did you get her so well? you wrote her so brilliantly and i feel like i'm repetitive and this review is terrible because there's nothing substantial here but god i love this one-shot so much.

I LOVED how Molly could "sense" that Harry was alive. It proves and shows how much of a mother she is to him. He's not her son's best friend, he IS her son, and that was shown so beautifully here. You really did justice to her character and to the Molly-Harry dynamic. The sense of joy that swept her knowing Harry was alive, that was perfect.

And then her strong determination, her fierceness, the ferocity with which she fights the battle, it is amazing. you again channeled all her emotions into the narrative spot-on. The descriptions and imagery is perfect.

I love the last bit too. How you showed the brief aftermath. Harry has won, things have calmed down, and then we see what Molly felt in those moments too. It's great.

It is so beautiful and sweet and giving me so many feels that she visited Lily's grave. Her dialogue to Lily - so beautiful. crying again.

"I couldnít bear to know that he was all alone. Heís still a child, he needs a mother. Watch over him for me.Ē

OMG WHY WHY WHY. THIS WAS SO GAH I DONT HAVE WORDS. I LOVED IT. SO BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT AND SWEET AND SAD AND TRAGIC. they died so young =(

and the ending sentence, that just hit the nail. always. so, so fitting. molly looks after harry and lily looks after fred. they're like the best mothers in the world and you've gotten down the meaning of the world mother down to a T here and you've showcased it so beautifully.

i honestly dont know what else to say. this fic was beautiful and i loved every bit of it. i am so glad i could stop by to read it. your portrayal of molly, her insight of the war, her child's death, her pain, her triumph, the ending, you wrote everything amazingly well. the descriptions, imagery, dialogue, flow, narrative, it was the best. it's one of the most moving and well-written one-shots i've read on HPFF.

LOVED IT. GREAT GREAT GREAT JOB. now i'm going to cry some more. but Anja, i love you. and i can only say you're a wonderful writer and i can only hope to be half as good as you one day. i worship you and your wiring. just wow.

Love,
Angie

P.S. I am so sorry for the rambling review and barely any substance but your brilliance just really rendered me speechless.

Author's Response: Hey Angie,

I'm so grateful that you stopped by just because I said I loved this story in the chat. I'm really proud of it, and your rambling just made me so happy. Thank you so much.
I really like writing Molly - I feel really close to her, even though I'm not even close to her life circumstances. I don't have kids, I'm only in my 20s, and I'm not married or even in a relationship, but I feel like I just undersand her. She has so much love to give and I get that. I really do.
This story broke me while writing it, so it's only fair that it does the same thing to my readers.

tHank you so, so much for coming here and reading this.

♥ Anja


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Review #42, by adluvshpEqual Measure Good and Bad: A Break in Pattern

2nd December 2015:
Hey there!

So, I finally got through all the chapters.

This is a very good story! I am enjoying it so much. You have built the mystery wonderfully. I already can't wait to know what happens next! I love the gradual building of friendship between Draco and the golden trio. Hermione's PTSD, Ginny's state, it is all very plausible. I can't believe George disappeared somewhere and poor Angelina is alone looking after her in-laws, that is so sad. But war breaks apart many people. Mrs Weasley's state is quite sad but I am pleased you showcased a natural reaction to her son's death and other son's disappearance. Her illness made sense and I'm glad Draco was the one to help her heal - it shows how much he has changed - though poor guy kept himself anonymous, hiding the best of him from others.

I'm going about this review in a very haphazard manner, commenting on aspects that hit me and that are coming to mind as I type, so apologies for that xP

The "curse" the stonehenge is very, very interesting. Someone's trying to make an elder wand and then there is this whole thing about killing the house-elf and targeting centaurs - basically targeting the Ministry's new ways I think. Which reminds me, I love the little details you slip in here and there about how the world order has changed and the new laws that have come into place.

The dome scene where they break the path through the stonehenge was very well written. The action was aptly described and created great visuals. I could understand what was happening easily. It is very creepy to use Dementia's magic but I'm glad our team was able to kind of break through it.

Ron's involvement is nicely incorporated, so is Astoria's. I love the bonding between Astoria and Hermione. It's very sweet. And yes the inclusion of Kingsley too.

For CC, I'd say to look over the formatting of the narrative. It would make it easier on the eyes if the spacing was balanced (especially for the previous few chapters) and the formatting between dialogue-descriptions was clean. And sometimes, you might be overlaying way too much detail which detracts from the crux of the situation, so I'd suggest always re-reading to make sure you're getting the point across without dumping a lot of information on the readers at once.

Besides that, the story has been progressing brilliantly. The pace is good and I am excited to know more. The balance between your main plot of the mystery and the subplots of the friendships/relationships of the characters as well as the way they're dealing with their lives post-war is wonderfully kept. I am enjoying your writing style, and you write your dialogues very well too. The descriptions are good and the flow is smooth. You have also kept a lot of things very very close to canon so that's perfect.

All in all, I enjoyed reading this and I hope to be able to help you when I beta for you =) great job!!

Love,
Angie
(Lost Muse)

Author's Response: Thanks Angie for practically reviewing the entire story for me. What more could a writer have asked for. :)

One thing that has bothered me about the Magical World (I have been saying it a lot now) is the mere symptomatic treatment of diseases that they do, especially mental disorders.

When I was originally planning the story, I had a huge problem incorporating Ron into the story about what role he could play. So I fashioned him into a great analytical problem-solver which isn't a difficult conclusion too reach when you think about it; he did defeat McGonagall's chess set when he was 11.

I am so happy you love the way this story has progressed so far and yes I always try to keep things as close to canon as I possibly can. :)

I guess I shall really enjoy your company as my beta Angie :)

-Penn


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Review #43, by adluvshpAnd Then There Were None: The Island

1st December 2015:
Ooh new chapter! I am about to head to bed so I'm afraid I don't have time for a very long review, but I checked my favourites and you had updated so I couldn't resist reading! Apologies if this is incoherent xP

I LOVE THIS. You have captured Agatha Christie's style so beautifully, and at the same time, there's a certain originality to your narrative - what a perfect way to adapt a celebrated novel! I need to take tips from you!

I loved how the beginning bit was generalised, focusing on no particular person's POV. The initial tension and confusion was well-written. I loved Stan's entry, and the way you said everybody would remember his "immortal seeming" form like that for days to come. It already hints at something sinister!

Ah, as I suspected, they can't use magic on the island. Their wands have been taken away! It now makes sense why Dennis carried the gun, though of course, there might be ulterior motive. As you can guess by now, I have more or less forgotten the original book and plot and characters, which makes it all the more fun to read your story as I will be surprised!

I absolutely loved the section when Robbie is observing the fellow people in the boat. Your description of Charlie and Cho especially struck with me. I loved it. You really do have a beautiful way with words and paint great imagery!

I noticed a typo here:
"The savage unpredictability of the thought only fuelled hi excitement for this adventure."
Should be "his excitement".

Trelawney and Rosmerta! Now that's a couple I couldn't imagine being together! Again, a surprise, and an interesting one. I like!! Trelawney's jumpy nature makes sense and I'm curious to see how she and Rosmerta behave when things take a turn for the...worse. Great job on the characterisations.

The fated poem appears, yay! I LOVE what you've done with it. It was adapted into the magic version so perfectly and effortlessly. Creative mind eh xD Reading the poem, I can obviously predict the deaths that are going to happen, but I'm curious to know who dies how and the way everybody reacts. The poem is brilliant.

Ah, poor Dawlish. Something tells me he won't be able to leave in the morning as he hopes to xP

I am liking Dennis and Andromeda more and more as the narrative progresses. I am excited to see them (and others too) in the upcoming chapters.

All in all, what a great second chapter! I am already loving this story. Your writing is phenomenal. I am all praise and gushing and no CC because really I'm so engrossed and enjoying this so much. Great chapter!! Can't wait for the next!

10/10

Love,
Angie
(Lost Muse)

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Review #44, by adluvshpAlmost: Almost

30th November 2015:
Hey again! Here for review #3 of our swap.

Aw, I really liked this. I am not a hardcore George/Angelina shipper but this story made me smile and kinda made me root for them. So yay for your writing!

George's characterisation is perfectly done. You really get him so well! And the little details, such as Charms being his favourite subject or his dynamic with Fred with his brother scolding him (when he recalled that bit at least), really made his character whole and believable and I enjoyed that. The banter between him and Angelina was just adorable and it was cute how he was clueless about her feelings.

The ending was interesting and different. You didn't have them coming together exactly, but you didn't have a 'sad' ending either. It was a very natural path to take, and I liked how it was left sort of open. George "almost" confessed his feelings, and they moved just a tiny bit ahead in their friendship/relationship which was good. At the same time, they didn't jump into anything at the moment. So, I just marvel at the believability of the scenario.

All in all, great one-shot! I loved reading it, and I really want more of this story too xD Your writing is brilliant and I am glad I could stop by. Hope you enjoy my story too =)

Love,
Angie
(Lost Muse)

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by and leaving this awesome review for me!

I am a super George/Angelina shipper and I love writing them so it makes me happy to see that you liked this story. :D

It's weird because George is a pretty hard character to write for. I think that I struggle with him more than I do Angelina, I'm not really sure why though. Hahah.

I feel like he would be good at Charms though and I tried to make him different from Fred as much as I could. I don't like writing the boys as the same and I hint in this one-shot that Fred is kind of blunt when it comes to how George feels about Angelina. Haha.

Banter between George and Angie is really easy, I always have fun writing them. They really don't get together until after the War, so I couldn't have them kissing or anything at the end of this story. I was sorely tempted but I try to stay canon to my own little universe as much as possible.

The ending wasn't really sad, it was more like a hopeful feeling when I wrote it. I wanted you guys to take your own thoughts about it but the most important thing here is that they became closer friends. :D

Thanks a ton for stopping by!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #45, by adluvshpA Wedding: A Secret

30th November 2015:
Hey Gabbie! Here for review #2 of our swap.

So, I really enjoyed reading this! I read both chapters one after another 'cause I couldn't stop after chapter 1.

Your characterisation of Albus is lovely. He's so adorable! All the jitters about the wedding are perfectly described. I also really enjoyed the banter he shared with James, and Scorpius etc. Speaking of, your dialogue is really good. It flows naturally and is very fresh. My only bit of CC there is to probably balance it out with descriptions a little more so that it flows within the narrative better, if you know what I mean =) Try to make it "read better". Otherwise, it's really good!

Besides that, I had a fun time reading both the chapters of this story. I don't know what all to comment on - honestly the whole of it made me smile. I enjoy the Harry/Ginny dynamic you have going on, the inclusion of Lucius Malfoy in the conversation was nicely done, the backstory was solid, and particularly loved Scorpius. Oh and Lavender is just brilliant too.

The plot concept itself is an entertaining one and makes good for a light-hearted fic. Sometimes, you just need this kind of fun writing in your life and I had a lovely time reading it! Great job =)

Love,
Angie
(Lost Muse)

Author's Response: HEllO!

Thanks for stopping by and I'm sorry about the lateness!

Albus is like the cutest person ever, I really love writing him. He's got this really great goofiness about him that's just hard to resist.

I honestly loved writing his arguments with James and the thoughts about his friends. I am never really good at dialogue but I'm glad that it worked out. I still need to go back and tweak this chapter because there are a lot of things that I didn't quite like but thanks for pointing stuff out to me!

Harry/Ginny are fun to write and I'm surprised people like them. I had never written the pair before so I was really worried. Hahaha. The backstory is hard to balance in this story but I loved writing it, it helps when Albus isn't alone too. Scorpious and Lavender's inclusion in the narrative really makes it easier.

Yeah, this isn't meant to be taken very seriously so I'm happy that it made you smile! :D

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #46, by adluvshpRuins: Ruins

30th November 2015:
Hey Gabbie! Angie (Lost Muse) here from the forums for our review swap! Sorry for the delay!

Wow, I loved this! I wish this was longer! Your characterisation of Pansy is very good. She's very likeable here and you've shown how she's matured post-war beautifully. I loved getting inside her head here. It's obvious she cares for Draco, and her immediate attachment to Benjamin is adorable.

Draco has been portrayed very well too. His guilt, his frustration, his sadness, it comes through easily, and I felt for him. I am glad Pansy decided to help him. His emotions make sense and he definitely needs to pull himself together, and you've showcased that perfectly.

The way you explained the backstory, the concept you developed here, as well as the ending note, it was altogether lovely. All in all, it made for a very good read, and I wish this story was longer (which is a good thing). Glad I could stop by!

Love,
Angie

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you so much for stopping by and please forgive me for being so late!

I really enjoyed writing this story, I had never written Pansy before and I'm so happy that you all seemed to like her. I never thought that I would get so attached to her either but she's a wonderful character.

I feel like she had always wanted to break free from her family and after going through so much after the War, she allowed herself to fly. I think that she still has feelings for Draco too, it's more complicated than either of them will admit.

Baby Benjamin is so precious! :D

Draco has a lot of things going on right now and I can't really NOT write about him. He's a complex man in this story and I'm glad that you felt sympathy for him as a person. I didn't want to paint him as being the villain, just a broken person and it worked out better than I thought.

Thanks a ton for stopping by! It took me a while to get this story right and the concept actually took about three days. I was so happy that it worked out! :D

You're a doll!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #47, by adluvshpCircle of Silence: One

28th November 2015:
ERIN! omg i can't believe you wrote a fic for me. i am so honoured. nobody has ever written a fic for me before and this makes me so so happy and i am having all these feels. it's even more special coz YOU are writing it and you're like a phenomenal writer and your writing is just wow. so thank you, i love you, you're the best!!

Now, on to the review. I'm going to write this review as I read so please bear with the incoherence of my thoughts xP

First off, WOAH. A crime mystery AND a Rose/Scorpius?! You've picked my favourite genre and favourite pairing... of course I'm loving this already! *hugs*

Ahh Rose and her craving for something more exciting. I already love her. Your characterisation of her is superb. I love a Rose who's itching for adventure and action. It's the perfect mix of Ron/Hermione and I'd expect nothing less from her. So, I wonder why her boss called her in.

Yes Rose is determined! Me likey! Her boss is going to love her work xD

Ooh bodies! What kind of bodies! My interest is immediately piqued, wanting to know why the boss said "you'd understand further" if she saw the bodies. Btw, while we're on the subject, very neat and well-written dialogue. Great balance between dialogue and narrative!

Oooh vague address. I love when bosses are vague. I wonder if this is Scorpius ;)

"It was going to be an interesting case, and Rose Weasley was going to make sure she enjoyed every second of it." YES ROSE YOU'RE GOING TO ENJOY IT. This sentence kinda defines what I'm feeling now because as soon as I started reading, I had a feeling that this is going to be an interesting story and that me Angie is going to enjoy reading every second of it xD

Great description there of the morgue entrance. I could visualise it easily and immediately in my mind's eye.

Ooh I love Rose's credentials. She has a fancy fun job!

Okay that morgue sounds downright creepy. "Rose shuddered inwardly as she thought of eating in a corner at this place filled with decay and demise." ugh i could never stomach it. but you go Rose, you are not scared!

omg both bodies died in a similar manner, similar marks, suffocation with the mysterious cloth? now this looks like the work of a serial killer or something. interesting, very interesting.

You go Rose! I love how quickly her brain works. She's already connecting the dots, realising these aren't random killings and there's something connecting the victims. You have characterised her beautifully.

Ooh I am loving the idea of Wastelands. You can expect the wizarding world to have something like that since the Muggle communities sure do. Your description of the area is perfect, again very easy to visualise, and great use of words there.

Ugh the state of the body sounds horrible. But also very intriguing. I love Rose's use of the word "ritualistic" here. Definitely something magical and meaningful.

I like Danforth. He seems like a nice guy. Good shaping up for your OCs! Looking forward to see how they're developed further as the story progresses!

Ahh that last sentence. IT IS SCORPIUS IT HAS TO BE. omg i am so excited. I NEED THE NEXT CHAPTER NOW. haha okay sorry i won't rush you but boy is this story amazing already?! i am super intrigued, about the mystery, about the dynamics between Rose and Scorpius, about what kind of work he does and how he's going to help, and how do they solve the mystery together!

Such a perfect first chapter! Brilliantly written, great narrative, and loving the plot. Your characterisations are superb, I especially am already connected with Rose, and you have just the right amount of suspense surrounding the piece. Solid first chapter, super excited to see what happens next!

You're such a beautiful writer, you have the most amazing way with words, and your plot concepts are always very unique, so I absolutely know this story is fantastic, the first chapter is pretty much amazing already after all. *bows to your awesomeness*

Loved it!! Thank you so much once again for writing this! You've to write more and update soon xD

10/10

Love and hugs,
Angie

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Review #48, by adluvshpThe Misfortunes of Misunderstandings: Primus

27th November 2015:
Hey there! I felt terrible for having skipped you in my requested reviews thread so I'm dropping by for a quick, random, informal review *hugs*

I think this was a great chapter to start off your story with! Christine's characterisation is very good, and I kinda feel sorry for her. The mix up is a little bit funny though. And I love how you've written Sirius here and included him in the situations. Your dialogues and descriptions are very good and I had a very nice time reading it! The story definitely seems interesting! I'd love to see how thing unfold.

great going, keep writing!

love,
Angie (lost muse // aditidraco95)

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I totally don't mind and I very much appreciate any type of crit. :)
I was hoping people would like Christine. I didn't want her to be very cliché but I was also worried about developing her well. I'm glad you like Sirius. I was concerned about my portrayal of the canon characters as well. Thanks for the review and this really made my day. :)


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Review #49, by adluvshpTainted Tinsel: Christmas Eve

27th November 2015:
Rumpel! Oh dear me, you broke my heart again. I feel so bad for Will, and their parents. Their son is dead and their daughter has been kidnapped by a werewolf. What a terrible Christmas. And poor Will, dying trying to save his sister.

Gah, so many feels. But aside from that, this was so well-written. Your characterisation of Fenrir is perfect. I like how he is not just randomly killing or attacking kids for the fun of it but he actually has a plan. The way you explain the motivation behind his actions is lovely. I like how he's put so much thought into it, deciding to side with Voldemort, and aiming to take him out in the end too, as well as putting down wizards. He is smart and i like that.

The use of the tinsel throughout this story was very good. It provided a creepy edge to things - the way Will still clutched it in his hands, that dragged out the tree, and then Ellie had pieces of it stuck in her hair. It was almost poetic.

Your descriptions were absolutely beautiful and I had a lovely time reading this. It made me want to read more, to find out about Ellie and the pack, and how things progressed from this night. And of course, you characterised Fenrir so well I really wanted to get to know him more too!

Consider a sequel? ;)

All in all, loved it. Great writing, perfect descriptions, interesting concept! 10/10

Cheers
Angie

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Review #50, by adluvshpThe Serpent of Slytherin: Mother

27th November 2015:
Ooh! This was lovely, Gee! What a beautiful insight into the mind of a Basilisk! I loved how the creature craves the comfort and love of a mother, despite being such a dark and deadly one. You did the prompt complete justice.

Your descriptions here are phenomenal. The hatching of the egg, the newborn, the first feelings as she came into the world, what lovely use of words. I could see the scene unfolding in my mind's eye perfectly.

The interaction between the Basilisk and Salazar Slytherin is nicely written. I like how the Basilisk readily follows her "mother's" commands without question. Little details such as Salazar's 'flat snout' and 'unusually full lips' were a very nice touch - showing that the snake saw the differences and yet accepted the human as her mother.

I loved the bit about Salazar telling the basilisk that the blood of the victim is tainted, and yet the snake not being able to differentiate - because really the blood is not different at all. Lovely concept there.

The growing boredom, the longing to see her mother, these emotions came through beautifully from the basilisk as the narrative progressed, so kudos for actually making me feel for such a creature! Your descriptions really were just exquisite.

The ending bit was very good, with Tom Riddle coming by, nervous and a little afraid, and yet the Basilisk thinking the mother has returned recognising the tone of voice etc. What lovely way to portray things! As I came to end, I did not want it to stop. I wanted to continue reading - and that is a mark of a very well-written one-shot. I loved it so much.

Great job!! 10/10
Love
Angie

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