Reading Reviews From Member: adluvshp
  
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Review #26, by adluvshpWinds of Desire: Caught Red Handed

28th January 2015:
Hey! Here for review tag!

This is an interesting premise for a Dramione (which I think it will turn into) so I quite like it. The way you have started with this introductory chapter is good, providing us all the backstory we need.

How horrible of Ron to do what he is doing to Hermione. I think you portrayed Hermione's feelings quite well. I liked this chapter and want to see how the story progresses. The only CC I have is to perhaps smooth out your narrative, make it more engaging by having more description and emotions. Good job otherwise!!

Cheers,
AditiDraco95

Author's Response: Well hello there, :)
Thank you for coming by and reviewing my old story, I haven't worked on it for quite awhile! ;) I plan on re-editing quite a few things, I was a bit clueless about how to write these fanfics when I started. The fact that you think it's starting out good is wonderful :D I am glad you like it so far for the most part.
-Lindsey


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Review #27, by adluvshpBlood Lust: Blood Lust

28th January 2015:
Hello! I am quite late with this but I'm finally reading and reviewing all entries for my challenge. The results will be out soon!

This was very interesting. I liked how it was short and snappy and to the point. The vampire's thoughts were very well conveyed and I enjoyed an insight into his mind. Your writing style was good too and it worked well with the plot. I loved your descriptions as they painted visuals in my head of what was happening.

The only CC I'd give is that your grammar/phrasing was a little off at times. It could do with some smoothing over. Besides that, I really had a good time reading this. It was dark and creepy and just the way I like it xD

Good job!
-AditiDraco95

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you. I'm happy that it worked with the way I write as that was actually my first time trying to write second person. Hopefully I can improve upon my grammar/ phrasing. I'll have a look and see if there's any ways to make it better. :)

Thanks again! I enjoyed participating in your challenge!

- Becca. :)


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Review #28, by adluvshpCold Season: Cold Season

28th January 2015:
Hey! I'm incredibly late in doing this but I'm finally reading and reviewing all entries to my Vampire Challenge. The results will be out soon =)

This was a very interesting take on my challenge. I certainly didn't imagine a story where a human would be having her friends turn into vampires. Good job on original thinking for the plot. I think you did well on keeping the vampires as the main theme as well. I also enjoyed your interpretation of vampires - turning into brats, being more active on the full moon, the red dots for pupils, pale skin.

The narrative was also fun to read and had a smooth flow to it. I didn't spot on any major grammar errors either. The only CC I'd give is that I didn't find this spooky enough - I felt that the part where they're being bitten by the vampires and when they approach the house - that could have included some more heavy description that would have it all the more creepier.

Nonetheless, I liked this one-shot and it provided for a refreshing read. Thank you for entering my challenge!

Cheers,
AditiDraco95

Author's Response: Don't worry, we're patient. Mostly.

The idea for someone falling asleep w/ humans and waking w/ vampires came to me in a dream, I just elaborated on it. I ( Georgina) actually took a class on monsters where we spent a good portion of time on vampires. Some of these things are traditional, appearance and how they prey, but some of it is my own invention, red eyes and full moon.

Thank you for stopping by!


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Review #29, by adluvshpCold Blood: Round Two

27th January 2015:
Hey again! Wow, what a dramatic reveal! Marietta was the killer then and she used Emerson and she did it all for Harry! Wow, who would have thought!

I really, really enjoyed reading this. I think you set up the mystery in the most brilliant way possible and revealed the killer really nicely. The whole procedures with the Aurors and all were also written well with careful details and I liked that. Your characterisations of Ron and Harry were of course brilliant.

All in all, I think this was a great story and it almost seems like the end since the mystery is solved and everything is okay. So, I'm quite curious to see what the next couple chapters hold.

I don't have any CC for you really - I think this is one of the most well-written and well-conceptualised stories I've come across on the archives. I wish my writing were as awesome as yours!

Great work!!
10/10
Cheers,
AditiDraco95

P.S. Update soon!

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Review #30, by adluvshpCold Blood: Revealed

27th January 2015:
Marietta, really? I didn't see that one coming. I felt like she could be the next victim, but definitely not the killer. Good shock element there!

I loved the talk between Aberforth and Harry too. I think you kept both very much in character and I enjoyed their interaction. Aberforth certainly knows something though, and I wonder what his warning meant.

Oh and I also really liked the way Ron stuttered in front of his boss and all - fits well with his characterisation. Man, you really know your canon characters xD

This was really another marvellous chapter and I am enjoying the mystery very much. I still feel like there's more to the plot than is revealed at the moment so you've great going. I love your descriptions and writing style. Favourited this story!

Cheers,
AditiDraco95

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Review #31, by adluvshpCold Blood: Spotted

27th January 2015:
Hello! I'm back again! Ooh the plot thickens. We are close to finding out the killer now! I love the note on which you ended this chapter - it is very mysterious and exciting. I'm so curious to know what that letter says.

I also loved the beginning of this chapter. The description was very powerful and painted some vivid imagery in my mind. I never much liked Greyback but I still felt sorry for him when he died. I am so, so curious to know who the killer is - I feel like it could be Harry, but that's just so crazy!

I also love your characterisation of Ron. It is very much like him to be hard on himself in such a situation and talk of quitting. Speaking of, the chase scene was great. I loved how the action played out with Emerson escaping and all.

All in all, this was another brilliant chapter. I'm really loving the story and I'm glad I swapped with you! My story really is in no way in league with this amazingness xP

Cheers,
AditiDraco95

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Review #32, by adluvshpCold Blood: A Mistake

27th January 2015:
Hello! Here for the review swap from the forums! I have read chapters 1-5 and I loved them all. I think the way you've built up the mystery, your writing style and the plot in general is very good. The characterisation of Harry is especially well done. Good job on that!

Coming to this chapter, I think this was another brilliant piece of writing. The whole second person change in POV is very interesting and it gives an intriguing insight into the person's mind. I also liked how you wrote the Daily Prophet article - it is very close to how it's written in canon.

Since Greyback is the next victim, I wonder what the killer's agenda is. It looks like the killer is targeting 'traitors'. Noble cause but creepy means. I also wonder what's up with Harry. There're so many questions that arise when reading this story, and that's a good thing because it's a mystery. I'm loving the thrill that comes with reading this!

All in all, this is a great story and I'm having a lot of fun reading this. I hope it's okay that I decided to review Chapter 6. It's a later chapter in my opinion. But hopefully, i'll be back to review the remaining chapters as well.

Thanks for swapping!

Cheers,
AditiDraco95

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Review #33, by adluvshpThestrals: Hugo

27th January 2015:
Hey! Hot Seat review xD

I really liked this. It was so cute. I have rarely read any fics with Hugo being the main character so I enjoyed your characterisation of him. I felt touched that he was by his grandmother's side when she was dying (makes me wonder whether it was Molly or Mrs Granger). His initial fear of thestrals and them representing his pain was also very well conveyed.

I loved the ending bit! The image of the foal was adorable in my mind the way you described it. It sniffing the apple and Hugo giving it to it was just super cute. I'm glad Hugo thus overcame his dislike/fear of the creatures. After all, it's not their fault that they're only seen when one sees death.

All in all, great little chapter and awesome story. I loved how you picked characters from three different generations for this collection of one-shots. The theme was interesting and I enjoyed reading it. Good job!

Cheers,
AditiDraco95

Author's Response: *waves cheerily*

Hugo is rarely chosen as a main character, and that's the biggest reason I picked him. He's not so popular as Sirius and Neville, so I could really focus on his introspection rather than canon-compliant characterisation. I leave it up to the reader to decide which grandmother it is!

Good! I was going for adorable. All baby animals are adorable, and thestrals are no exception. And you can't hate such an innocent creature such as a thestral foal, so it seemed like a good way to show Hugo's change of heart.

Thanks so much for your lovely review :)


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Review #34, by adluvshpRabbit Heart: Hearts Enthralled

24th January 2015:
Hey again.

So, I loved the History of Magic discussion in the beginning of the story. At first I felt it was a little unnecessary but then I realised it was definitely necessary as the talk shifted to vampires. It's confirmed now (I think) that Dillon is a vampire. It also looks like his mother might have been his thrall, or the rabbits are the thralls and so are the people that get connected to the rabbits minds. I may be wrong but that's what it looks like to me right now. Good job on clearing some stuff up using the lesson.

Uh I do not like Ian. He sounds like an idiot. Albus on the other hand is adorable. I am glad he and Wren got to spend some time together. It was very interesting to see Madam Pince so lively and out-of-character here too, must be the effect of the rabbit. I wonder what is in the punch - it feels like she is trying to get Rose's mind to connect with the rabbit's again, though Mr Summers also felt its effects, which was weird. Again, the mystery continues.

So far, Wren's character has been consistent and I liked her. However, I felt like it was a bit strange of Wren to let her best friend Rose get close to Ian when she knows what kind of a person Ian is. I feel like she should have probably tried talking to Rose again or something, instead of just being like "But if Rose didn't mind being treated like a cuff link and being kissed like someone was siphoning her brain through her throat, then that was her problem!" That was a bit mean on her part and it didn't seem much like Wren.

Other than that, I think this chapter was very good, with definitely further progress into the mystery. I'm curious to see what's up with the grey rabbit and Bunny and what happens to Wren and her friends now. Good job!

Cheers,
AditiDraco95

Author's Response:

Hello!

History of Magic can be excruciatingly boring under the proper conditions. I thought it would be fun to do something with the class to help out the characters a bit. You know, because there's this mystery, and they don't have a clue, and it could be bad if they don't figure things out... I can see by your comments that you were one of the people who actually paid attention, instead of charming paper airplanes and whatnot.

I'll just clear this up right now. Ian is not to be liked. He IS an idiot. There.

Hey, you know that stubborn friend who never listens to you until it's too late? Erm, that's what's going on there. Wren is well aware that Rose has heard the stories. And well... Rose. I suppose Wren could have tried harder, but why waste your breath when you know they won't listen?

I am so glad you are still curious about the mystery and rabbits, and Wren and her friends too. Thanks for all your comments!


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Review #35, by adluvshpRabbit Heart: Losing Heart

24th January 2015:
Hey! I'm back again.

So it looks like Dillon is a vampire, or something similar and he has been feeding off his rabbits. He probably fed off his mother too. And it looks like he's been around a very long time if the wise old man he is talking about is Dumbledore.

I love how we get to know more about Dillon's past here. It is definitely some progress into the story. For the past few chapters, I felt like the plot was slightly dragging but I'm glad things are back in full swing now.

I am also curious as to why Albus' rabbit didn't connect with him the way Wren's did with hers. Maybe Albus' rabbit didn't bite him (I can't seem to remember) but Wren's did - and they form the connection with a bite? The way the rabbit did with Madam Pince. It is indeed very interesting, the way layers and layers of the mystery are unravelling slow.

So it looks like Smeed did give Wren some helpful stuff and not poison because her head is clearer now and she's back to her normal self. It also looks like her magic is slowly coming back to her. But then, how long is that going to last? Questions, questions.

I felt your characterisation of Rose was a little over the top. We get that she wants to be the top of the class but I don't think she'd be so rude over something like Albus and Scorpius getting more marks than her. It just doesn't feel like Ron and Hermione's daughter would be brought up that way. But it could just be my perception of it...

I'm pleased Albus finally talked to Rose, albeit it wasn't about his feelings, but it was something. Maybe now Rose and Albus can work on the mystery of the missing rabbit together and bond.

Another thing I found strange was Albus dismissing his pain as 'growing pains'. I don't think at his age people get growing pains - it could have been more believable if he had dismissed it as a muscle pull or something of that sort.

Finally, I think you nailed Madam Pince's characterisation. I'd definitely portray her like that if I had to. It was pretty amusing to read, until of course the rabbit showed up.

Now, I'm just worried for Wren and her friends - these rabbits and Dillon seem to be E-V-I-L and I want them as far away from Wren and her friends as possible. Lol.

All in all, great chapter and some good progress into the plot here. I hope this pace is maintained for future chapters.

Cheers!
AditiDraco95

Author's Response:
Yeah, there were a bunch of small points that I had to cover before the plot ran away again. I hope it didn't drag the story too much. I've decided that I don't love writing teens. Maybe my next story will be about grumpy old men. Much easier to deal with. :P

And I feel you on Rose too. Man, you should have seen her in the first draft... on second thought, it's better that you didn't. Unfortunately, there are people in the world like her, and as much as we don't like to see it, there it is. Ahh well.

Funny you brought up the growing pains thing. I have had mixed reactions to this. Some people (both females and males)think it's not likely that the growth I described was realistic, while others, both females and males who have been through it personally, say it's quite painful, both during and after the growth spurt. So, there you go. I guess it comes down to personal experience.

Ahh, Madame Pince was a hoot. Poor woman. I'm glad you agreed with her characterization. Thanks for spending another chapter with me!


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Review #36, by adluvshpHouse of Cards: Ace of Spades

23rd January 2015:
Narcissa? Really of all people? Gah I can't believe it!!

Well, I'm glad the mystery has been unraveled now. I am still a bit confused by it all - Narcissa wanted to poison her mother with the overdose of the medicine, killed her father instead. And then her mother realised it and killed herself. After that Narcissa knew that Orion suspected her so she tried to kill him and ended up killing Pollux. But in all this, I didn't understand why Narcissa wanted to kill her mother in the first place? (Would really appreciate if you could answer this in the author's response).

I hope I understood all that right anyway. And then who attacked Regulus? That mystery is still unsolved and I wonder if we'll know in the next chapter or if it's going to remain unsolved.

This chapter was definitely very interesting, albeit a little confusing - if that was not your aim then I'd suggest smoothing it over to make everything a little bit clearer - as this is the chapter that solves (most of) the mystery.

Everyone's reactions were very nicely done and the ending was also intriguing and spot on. I am also wondering about the whole Alphard thing - why did he send Sirius that letter?

All in all, another great chapter. Trust you to solve the mystery and still leave the reader's mind buzzing with questions xP

I think this was great though and I'm looking forward to seeing how you tie up everything in the final chapter!

Cheers,
AditiDraco95

Author's Response: Hey there, Aditi! :) Thank you so much for following this story all the way to the end - it means so much to me! :)

Hehe... no one ever suspected Narcissa! I have to admit, that makes me a little bit proud :P

Yeah, it's a bit unclear - I didn't want it be blindingly obvious, but I'll go back and look at it anyway ;) Basically, Narcissa meant to give her mother the poison as a medication - it's not poisonous in small doses - but she got it wrong, put too much and in her father's food. Her mother knows and blames herself, and then everything spirals from there with Narcissa (and Lucius, in on it too) trying to cover everything up :) Orion suspected because he was aware of the medication Druella was taking, but hadn't worked out anything further until later on in the story. Hope that clears some of it up for you!

Regulus... yeah, I purposefully wanted to leave that bit unsolved - I tried to put in hitns people might pick up on, which hint at who the attacker could be, but I'm not sure I made them strong enough... again, I might go back and edit in.

Umm... hm... this may be spoiling things for you a little bit (I dunno), but it's linked to Regulus ;) And not just in that his name was on the paper :P

Haha, yeah, sorry about that! I wrote this really quickly - this one and the epilogue - so sorry if they're a bit rushed/unclear. I'm hoping to have some time in late spring/early summer to edit them through and smooth things over a bit, so hopefully things will be made clearer! :)

Thank you so much for following this through, and thank you so much for the review - it was so lovely to get! :)

Aph xx


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Review #37, by adluvshpHouse of Cards: King of Hearts

23rd January 2015:
Okay what just happened? Is Alphard the murderer? But how could he be? And why? And oh merlin I hope Regulus is not going to be attacked again! This is all getting stranger and crazier. I really want to find out everything already xP

The chapter was as usual well-written and very interesting. I loved the way you described Sirius in the beginning - his pain was tangible and I could feel it and the descriptions painted a certain imagery that was beautiful in a way.

Ah so there is something going on between Regulus and Barty. I pretty much knew it but now Sirius has found out - and so has Alphard. I loved the way that entire interaction played out. Sirius' reactions were very well done.

And Bellatrix suspects Crouch ah. I don't think Crouch could attack Regulus - no way. I wonder whether the others would believe her - and what they're doing now about it all.

The ending scene was also very intriguing. We got to see inside Regulus' head and it was quite nicely written. I absolutely love your descriptions. They're the strongest point in this story apart from the wonderfully gripping plot.

All in all, another brilliant chapter and I'm itching to read more and find out just exactly what is going on here.

-AditiDraco95

Author's Response: Hey there, Aditi! Thank you so much for coming back again! :)

Haha, sorry about that! :P Poor, poor Regulus... he does get a pretty bad lot in this story, unfortunately... but, don't worry, everything will come out sooner or later ;)

Thank you! :) I'm so glad you liked Sirius and that beginning scene - it was actually surprisingly hard to write, mostly I think because I have two younger sisters, so it was a really strange thing to have to write.

Yeah, it all comes out now :P I think most people had guessed it, though, haha. I really wanted from the beginning to write Sirius' discovery, so I'm so glad you liked it! :)

Bellatrix... well, she suspects something, but I guess the question is why would she suspect :P But yeah, probably unlikely... we'll see, we'll see ;)

I'm so glad you liked the end scene - it was the first time I actually wrote inside Regulus' head, and it was so much fun to do! Thank you so much - I do love writing descriptions, so I'm so happy you like them! :)

Thank you so much for the review - it was so lovely to get! :)

Aph xx


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Review #38, by adluvshpHouse of Cards: Queen of Diamonds

23rd January 2015:
OH DEAR ME, NOT REGULUS PLEASE NOT REGULUS.

Gah I can't believe Regulus has been targeted this time. I just hope he is alright and does not die.

This was another great chapter though. I loved the introduction of the Aurors here and the way the entire family stood together against them. I wonder who sent the letter to the Ministry though.

The conversation between Alphard and Walburga was also interesting. They're obviously talking about Sirius, maybe they suspect him of the murders, and Sirius' reaction to that is very touching and believable.

All in all, this was another superb chapter and the mystery continues to thicken. I feel like the climax is slowly building up now. Things just keep getting more and more intriguing.

Great job!
-AditiDraco95

Author's Response: Hey there, Aditi! :) Thank you so so much for all the reviews - they've been wonderful to get! :)

I'M SO SORRY. TRULY. HONESTLY. I'M SO SO SORRY ABOUT THIS. Of all people, Regulus didn't deserve it - he's such a sweetie :P As for his survival, I can't answer that ;)

I wasn't sure about including the Aurors and hte letter to the Ministry line, so I'm so glad you liked it! Yeah, the entire family is very good at grouping together when needed.

Ooh, yeah, the conversation is interesting. It does mean something... though, are you sure they're talking about Sirius? Reallly, reallly sure? :P But yeah, he doesn't react well to it at all - it's not a nice thing to hear people saying about you!

Yeah, this is the beginning of the end, so to speak. The last three chapters are really the ending entire, starting from here. Hopefully you'll keep enjoyingt them! :)

Thank you so much for the great review - I loved it! :)

Aph xx


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Review #39, by adluvshpNot entirely true: Toast to that

23rd January 2015:
Hello! This time I'm here for your requested review on the forums =)

So far, I am really enjoying this story. Maddie's excitement at everything magical is infectious and I find myself smiling along as she discovers the awesomeness of magic. You've made her character quite believable and I feel I can connect with her.

Josh is also fun to read, I like how he cares so much for Maddie and is afraid to scare her. It's also interesting how they both do not apparently have feelings for each other, but I feel like they'd make a cute couple if they did go down that road.

I also find it nice how you've set the story against the backdrop of the Quidditch World Cup. I can just tell it's going to be a fun read =)

The only CC I have for this chapter is that your grammar was a bit off in some places - there were some issues with the tense switching from past to present and back occasionally. I'd suggest smoothing it over with another thorough read.

Besides that, it's a great story and I'm quite enjoying it! Feel free to re-request =)

Cheers!
AditiDraco95

Author's Response: Hello again!
I'm glad you can relate to Maddie, she is my first main OC and I wanted her to turn out believable. I just hope the readers won't stop liking her after what I had prepared for her (chapter 4!).

Thank you for your opinion on grammar in this chapter, my wonderful beta reader said she could help me with the first two chapters, so i definitely plan to revise them at some point! Plus I'm getting HP books in English tomorrow, so hopefully with my base reading in English will help me familiarize myself with grammar rules in practice :)
Thank you again!


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Review #40, by adluvshpNot entirely true: Truth Is Out

23rd January 2015:
Hey! Here for review tag!

This seems like a very interesting premise for a story. I think it's a unique idea with a different plot - I've never come across a story that has been written from a Muggle's point of view entering the wizarding world.

I like Maddie's character, and Josh's as well. The way you portray their friendship is good too. I loved how Josh got Maddie to come with him to the World Cup by knowing someone who knew Ginny etc. Maddie's reactions were also quite realistic.

For CC, I'd say that I'd like to see a bit more description of their thoughts and feelings rather than just their actions. You've a good balance between narrative and dialogue but sometimes the narrative feels like it's just telling the story tonelessly. More emotions would definitely add colour to the story.

Besides that, your grammar and spelling were all good and the narrative flowed smoothly. I liked how you explained the past to present quickly yet in detail. The backstory is interesting and I'm curious to see where the plot is headed.

All in all, this made for an enjoyable read and is a good introductory chapter. I'll be back for more soon =)

Cheers!
AditiDraco95

Author's Response: Hey :)) thank you so much for reviewing!

As for the uniqueness of the story - I'm so happy to hear that, I had a feeling that throughout the years everything has been said and done, so I'm super happy to hear your find my story idea unique :)

When it comes to thoughts and emotions - today I thought exactly the same when I was reading other people's stories. I definitely need to add more of that, thank you for pointing it out :)


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Review #41, by adluvshpHouse of Cards: Jack of Clubs

21st January 2015:
Oh dear Merlin. What is this? Two bombshells in one chapter! Pollux is dead and so is the house elf. What really is going on. Who is the killer?! Now, for some reason, my suspicion keeps going to Walburga. Or to Orion. But I feel like it is definitely not Lucius, Regulus, Bellatrix or Barty.

This just keeps getting crazier and crazier and way so mysterious. I am really intrigued to know what happens next. And of course to hear how the house elf died.

As usual, brilliant chapter with amazing narrative and dialogue and turn of events. Can't wait to read more!

10/10
Cheers
AditiDraco95

Author's Response: Hi there, Aditi! It's so great to see you back again - it was such a lovely surprise to get! :)

Haha, yeah, sorry about dropping those two on top of you :P It's just that it had been a while since the body count went up, so I raised it by two... or something like that. ;) Ooh, Walburga and Orion are definitely both incredibly suspicious characters, I have to admit.

Really, though - not Lucius? Or Barty? Interesting... :)

Yeah, it's a pretty crazy story; I'm so glad you're enjoying it! And that you think the mystery is still there - as for the house-elf, you'll found out about that soon enough ;)

Thank you so so much for the lovely review, I'm so glad you're still enjoying it! :)

Aph xx


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Review #42, by adluvshpHouse of Cards: Ten of Spades

21st January 2015:
Hey again!

Ooh this gets more and more interesting. I'm curious to know what is in the vial. I feel like it definitely has some significance since it was hidden in such a manner. Trust Sirius of all people to stumble upon it.

I also enjoyed the interaction between Barty and Regulus here. It was great to see the two being carefree for once, enjoying each other's company, playing around and stuff. It was sweet and brought a smile to my face. Bellatrix's arrival was interesting as well and her conversation with Crouch was interesting. I loved the dynamics in the scene - the characterisations of Regulus, Barty and Bellatrix are all brilliant and strong and compliment each other well in the context.

Pollux and Orion's scene was also very intriguing. I'm a little confused with the whole Will business but I suppose it will come to light soon, especially since Alphard's arrival has stirred the matter. I do enjoy their portrayals as well and the way you wrote their dialogue.

All in all, another great chapter and the mystery just continues to get thicker. I'm glad I'm able to find time to read this story!

Cheers,
AditiDraco95

Author's Response: Hi again, Aditi! So glad to see you back again! :)

Ooh, yeah, the vial is super important! It's definitely a big clue - and of course Sirius had to find it :P

I'm so glad you liked that scene! I was so nervous when I wrote it, because it's completely different in character to all the rest of the story, in a way, but it was a scene I wanted to include, and I liked writing it :) Bellatrix... well, it was getting too fluffy, lol, so who better than Bella to break it up? :P I really wanted to have a Bella/Barty interaction at some point, so I just had to include it in there, too. I'm so glad you liked it - and the characters themselves! :)

The will business is important, though it's not necessarily a major clue, tbh. It is still important, though... sorry it's a bit confusing, though - I didn't mean for it to be too confusing... I might go back and take another look at that bit :)

Thank you so so much for the lovely review - it was such a great surprise to get! :)

Aph xx


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Review #43, by adluvshpRabbit Heart: Stone Hearted

21st January 2015:
Hey again!

This was another brilliant chapter. Smeed is definitely interesting - I like his character though - I think he kinda knows about the rabbits and helped Wren clear her head with the tea. I hope she continues taking those in future as well.

Reading about Gran's decision was quite sad and Wren's reaction to it all was of course believable. I liked how you showed the whole situation here. Poor Wren, I really wish she could talk to someone about her fears of being like Gran and losing her magic and stuff, she really needs to be taken seriously on the matter and that bunny needs to be looked into.

I enjoyed the narrative as usual and was pleased to see a good balance here between descriptions and dialogue/thoughts. No CC here. Good job!

Cheers,
AditiDraco95

Author's Response:

Smeed has been giving me fits. I like his character too, which is probably why I went through the effort of including more of him in the story than I had originally planned. It turned out that he was right to demand it. Crazy subplots!

I wasn't sure about putting so much of Gran in the story, but at the time, it felt right. It gives Wren some heavy background that she has to deal with.

I'm glad you felt the narrative was balanced here. Thanks for the continued comments!


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Review #44, by adluvshpRabbit Heart: Hearts and Spades

21st January 2015:
Hey! Here for TGS Review Exchange.

Okay so things are slightly getting clearer but at the same time they're also getting confusing. I am so worried about poor Wren - all she can think about is Bunny and that's not surprising after what I found out in the previous chapter. I just hope someone realises something is wrong with Wren soon and does something about it. Albus has of course kinda felt it but he is still too unsure to do anything about it.

Speaking of, poor Albus. This bunny is jeopardising his relationship with Wren too which I really don't like. Evil, evil bunny. And of course there is Albus' bunny to consider as well - who is not so adorable as Wren's and is definitely not overpowering his thoughts (thank merlin). So I wonder what's up with that.

I loved the little details in this story such as that of Scorpius and Albus' friendship and the whole photography development process. I wonder if Wren will catch on to the weirdness of it all through her photographs with the blue light and stuff. And then this one day without Bunny is also going to be interesting - I'm very interested to know what happens next.

The only CC I have is I felt that this chapter was a little too heavy on description and less focused on the action/thoughts/plot. But I guess we all need the filler chapters every now and then.

Other than that, this was great writing with your usual superb narrative. Good job!

Cheers,
AditiDraco95

Author's Response: Hi!

Yes, Albus is feeling things, particularly that things are not right with Wren. Let's both hope they get more clues before things go badly.

I'm glad you like Scorpius' friendship with Albus. It's so fun to write them like that. I thought the photography stuff was interesting too. I'm hoping the chapter wasn't too much on filler for you. Sometimes I use description to give clues as well.

Thanks for the comments. See you next chapter!


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Review #45, by adluvshpHouse of Cards: Nine of Diamonds

20th January 2015:
Hey again! I had some free time and decided to pick up reading xD

So, Bellatrix has finally started to show her insanity properly, lol. I assume the implication was of Barty and Regulus being a gay couple which must have been very amusing to Bellatrix and not so amusing to the rest of the family. This does me make think whether the two really are a couple or not, and I think they are. Interesting indeed.

This Uncle Alphard character is also quite interesting. If I remember correctly, he got blasted off the Black family tree as well, and that is visible with the way you've portrayed him here - he definitely is different from the rest of the Blacks and doesn't seem to be very popular in the family. No wonder Sirius kinda likes him. But then, he could be the murderer too - he is not someone who is staying with them 24/7 but there could be ways by which he has done the murders, and he's around now... so we never know. But my suspicion is not really strong on him.

Coming to the initial bit of the chapter, I'm relieved Narcissa is alright. It would have been horrid if she had died and Sirius of all people had been blamed. I also find the way you slip in little details is very nice - like Remus' voice telling Sirius that she could have died and Sirius searching for some kind of 'stain' on the stairs. They really add color and emotion to the story.

All in all, this was another brilliantly written chapter and I can't wait to see who is the next victim and find out who the killer is and see the mystery unravel. It's going great so far and I'm completely hooked.

10/10

Cheers,
AditiDraco95

Author's Response: Hey there, Aditi! :) I'm so stoked you came back - it was such a lovely surprise!

Haha, yeah, finally the lid comes off of Bellatrix's crazy :P Bellatrix has a strange sense of humour, so yeah, the idea of that is hilarious to her - who knows why - but the rest of the family really can't take it as anything other than serious. They don't really have a great sense of humour collectively :P

Uncle Alphard... I have to be honest, he was one of the most fun characters to write in ths. Yeah, he got blasted off the tree, and left all his money to Sirius when he died. He's not like them totally, but he's more like them than he lets on ;) But yeah, he's really unpopular with the family - I kinda wanted a character to sort of bridge the gap between Sirius and the rest or to be a sort of buffer, if you like. So, Alphard... mm... he could be, he could be. It could be possible... who knows? ;)

I'm really glad you liked that scene! I thought about killing her, or making her injury more serious, but in the end I decided not to - it didn't seem necessary for the story, tbh. I can never resist putting in little cameo mentions of the rest of the marauders, either :P

THank you so so much, I'm so glad you're still enjoying this - and thank you so much for the review! :)

Aph xx


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Review #46, by adluvshpRabbit Heart: Heart To Handle

18th January 2015:
Hey! Here for your requested review from the forums.

I'm so glad you requested because I've been meaning to read this story further - it's so so interesting - but just not been getting the time. This is all getting quite confusing as well, but in an intriguing way. I'm curious to see where this is all headed, what exactly is up with Dillion and the rabbits. Man, it's all kinda creepy.

Getting to your concerns, your subplots are definitely not dragging. I like reading them; it's good to have breaks from the thick of the mystery to be balanced with other stuff that's happening - such as Wren's classes, her friends, her love life with Albus, and of course the strange new boy. It gives a sense of realism to everything that's going on and doesn't overpower the main plot of the rabbits and Dillion so it's good.

I think so far the continuity is good - there is a nice smooth flow between chapters and I'm enjoying reading the story. The mystery continues to build up and it excites me. I'm worried for Wren - especially now that I know Dillion can somehow connect his mind with the rabbits, and the rabbits with the people they get attached to - it's all quite spooky and dangerous. I can definitely see the rabbits on their way to becoming the 'world's worst fear' - I am just curious to see how it works out further.

All in all, this was another very interesting chapter and I like the pace you're moving at. There were some new details revealed and some more touches to Wren's story herself. I am really excited to read further and I'll try to come back and review as soon as I can.

I don't have any CC for you - really this was superb. Great job!

10/10
Cheers
AditiDraco95

Author's Response:
Hey!

Glad that you're back for more! I guess curiosity is a good thing. We'll roll with that.

I thought that breaks from the overall mystery might be a good thing, but then when my characters started demanding more page time, I wondered if they were overriding the story. I'm glad it adds some realism to the fantastical plot weirdness. :)

Very relived about the flow between chapters and the feeling that the mystery is building. It's definitely spooky, and it's supposed to feel dangerous, so I'm feeling better about that too. And no crit?? Okay, I'll take that as a compliment. Thanks!

Thanks for the review, and for commenting on the specific things that I asked for. Hope to see you again soon!


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Review #47, by adluvshpThestrals: Neville

18th January 2015:
Hello! Here for Snake review tag.

This was so very good. I loved your characterisation of Neville. In such short words, I see him grow from the scared insecure boy into a confident brave man. The concept of his grandfather dying and telling him those words, and then those words reiterating throughout the story was very good and powerful. I liked how you breezed through the years this way.

The writing style was very good and I had a great time reading this. I like Neville as a character and the theme of this was nice. Great job all in all!

Cheers,
AditiDraco95

Author's Response: Heya! *waves*

Ah! Thank you! I was REALLY nervous about writing Neville. He's such a well-loved and admired character, and I just wanted to do him justice. I hope I've achieved that.

I'm very pleased that you enjoyed reading this. Thanks so much for the lovely review :)


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Review #48, by adluvshpHouse of Cards: Eight of Clubs

18th January 2015:
Hey again! It's been ages since I read this story so I'm glad I got a chance to stop by from review tag!

This story just keeps getting more and more interesting. I do hope poor Narcissa is alright - it looks like an accident on Sirius' part but it could also be a murder staged to look like an accident and to frame Sirius.

But coming back to the beginning of the chapter, it was also intriguing how the letter said one word 'Regulus'. It could mean two things: Regulus is the killer (I find that highly unlikely) or Regulus is the next target (but in that case why was Narcissa injured).

I also find it interesting that Sirius went to his parents and grandfather with the letter. It shows that despite how much he considers himself aloof from his family, he still harbours some amount of respect/love for them and considers them adults and goes to them for 'advice'. The adults' reaction didn't surprise me though - it looks like they are not considering all this a 'killing'. However, it was good that Orion paid some heed to Sirius and decided to consider the letter.

And then the interaction between Regulus and Sirius, oh my. The boys do have fiery tempers don't they? They care for each other but at the same time are at odds with each other and just fail to express their love for the other. It is kinda sad. The shouting match between the two was definitely an engaging read and I kinda had a feeling it was headed towards a bad 'climax'. Behold - the accident happens. I am also curious to see what Barty's role here is - he seems to be observing everything from the sidelines but it very well could mean he's 'calculating' and could be the killer. Unless it's someone altogether new whom we haven't even met in the story yet.

Gah this just keeps getting better and better and I'm glad I got back to the story. I'm excited to read more now and adding this to my favourites so I can come back to it when I have the time.

Great job as usual!!

Cheers,
AditiDraco95

Author's Response: Hey there, Aditi! :) It's so great to see you back here again - thank you so much for coming by!

Mm... you'll see next chapter if Narcissa's better or not, obviously I can't say anything now ;) And it is hard to say - accident or planned? :P

Ooh, good theories - I like both of them equally. The letter is definitely important, and definitely trying to tell him something - though either of your theories could fit it.

Yeah, I wanted to show that Sirius is still aware he's a child, and he still is sort of part of the family, even if he's on the very edge of it. He's sort of lingering there, about to fall off :P It's probably more respect than love, though ;) Orion, hm. well, that might lead to something, who knows? But yes, Orion isn't going to dismiss it, though why is up to you ;)

Oh yes! I'm so glad you liked that scene as it was one of my favourites to write, even if it was really hard to do. They definitely both have explosive tempers when riled up, and they really just can't get along. It's kinda sad, tbh, because they should do, and maybe they could do, but for some reason they can't. Barty... no one knows what he's up to. Even I don't know what he's up to :P But observing and calculating are probably pretty close to the mark ;)

Thank you so so much for the review and the favourite - I'm so glad to see you're still enjoying this story, and thank you again for dropping by! :)

Aph xx


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Review #49, by adluvshp[april turner]: [the library]

16th January 2015:
Hey! Here for the Hot Seat review.

This was an awesome little story. I loved your portrayal of James! It's so different from how I usually read him in fan fiction. Instead of this pompous over-the-head perfect guy, he is just a normal teenager struggling with studies and trying to 'live up' to his parents names. I think it's great what you've done with his characterisation. It gives the story a very fresh theme.

Your writing style was very good too, and I enjoyed the balance between narrative and dialogue - I always love descriptions and you did them well. James and April's gradual friendship was very sweet and I liked how the romantic angle was not stressed but left open to reader's interpretation.

The idea of the study spell thing was very unique too, poor James. I could relate with him, the pressure he felt, and felt for him too. I'm glad he had April with him.

Only one little CC, I noticed you switched the tense (from past to present) at a brief point in the story so I'd suggest going back and fixing it. Rest, it was a very good read and I had a nice time reading it. I would love to read more of your work now too and shall head to your page when I get the time.

Great job!

Cheers,
AditiDraco95

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Review #50, by adluvshpDarkened Allure: Under The Starlight Gaze

11th January 2015:
I CANT BELIEVE THIS HAPPENED! NO NO NO! *cries a river* *clutches heart*

Oh my God. Oh my God. Give me a minute to collect myself. *breathes heavily*

Okay so this chapter started amazingly. I loved how you showed Hermione's thoughts, her rational for thinking about Blaise, her burning curiosity to find out why he found her fascinated. The scene at the party was pretty awesome too, especially the kiss. The atmosphere, the actions, the feelings, they were all captured spot on. I was excited to see where their interaction would go when Blaise asked Hermione to meet him.

But the end. Oh my God it totally shocked me. I was so not expecting that. It was so heart wrenching that Blaise had to kill Hermione, and that too for Draco. The twist that she was the target, not Dumbledore, was superb (horrible but superb). The ending conversation between Blaise and Draco was also so sad, especially the final sentence of the story.

All in all, this was really, really well written and I had an amazing time reading it - I just wish it had ended differently. Nonetheless, the impact was there and the darkness of the theme was brilliant. Great job!

10/10
-AditiDraco95

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