Reading Reviews From Member: adluvshp
  
1,940 Reviews Found

Review #26, by adluvshpChoices.: Choices are the hardest things to make.

15th April 2016:
Little one! Hi!

Aw, this was a nice little fic, and I'm glad there's a sequel coming so we know how things go from here.

Obviously, this being an AU, your Draco is out-of-character, and that is totally fine. I love myself some DraMione AU!

I could see this - Hermione being comforted by Draco, him realising his mistakes, and becoming a better person for her. The contemplation that he faced between his family and her was realistically portrayed. His turmoil made sense.

In the end though, I'm glad he didn't choose Voldemort or his father, and went with his heart. And yay he will propose to her! That's very sweet.

All in all, I quite enjoyed reading this. It was short and sweet and interesting. Good job =)

Love
Angie

Author's Response: Hello my semi-engaged-online-mummy!

Yes, there is a sequel. (Part 2 has been written, and is currently in the editing stage!)

Dramione AU is hot. OMG I'm addicted to Dramione and cannot get enough of this ship. It's my Hermione OTP, btw.

TURMOIL ALWAYS MAKES SENSE.

OMG YES YOU UNDERSTOOD IT! Not many understood my reference to the ring, so I'm so glad you did!

THANK YOU SO MUCH MUMMY!

Caity
x


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Review #27, by adluvshpWith Love & Hope : Chapter 1

30th March 2016:
Hey there =) Welcome to HPFF and a very warm welcome to Slytherin! I saw your post in the new story thread in the Pit (Slytherin Common Room) and decided to check out your one-shot. Definitely not a bad decision as I loved reading this so much!

You convey so much in such few words, it's amazing. Your writing style is brilliant with such lovely descriptions. This is wonderful for your first fic, especially since you've not written in years. The way you show the development of Draco and Hermione's relationship with short yet touching descriptions is great. The imagery painted is beautiful.

For CC, I'd only say to watch out for typos - I noticed a misplaced comma here and there. If you smooth over the grammar structure, this one-shot wouldn't be short of perfect. Besides that, it's very very good even right now and as I said earlier, I really liked it. You have a knack for writing so do write more in the future!

Love and Hugs
Angie (Lost Muse from the forums)

Author's Response: Hi Angie! Thank you so much for your lovely review, it was a great surprise to come home from work to!

I'm still working on my style as it's been so many years since I've written, I'm basically just starting over. So, I'm glad you like it.

I'm really glad the imagery and descriptions were read in the same way I wanted them to be. I knew that with a short fic with no dialogue, it was really important to get that right, so it's nice to know it worked!

I didn't really comb this fic for any typo's or anything, so I guess that's expected haha!

I'll definitely be writing more in the future! I've got a few things I'm working on, so hopefully they'll be something new soon.

Again, thank you so much love


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Review #28, by adluvshpAbsence: Wound Tight

30th March 2016:
Hello! Here for our review swap from the forums =)

Wow, this totally gave me chills. It was haunting and poetic and beautiful. I figured this is talking about the connection between Ginny and Voldemort (partly due to the listing of the characters). There're bits and pieces that clue you in too, like the obsessive, almost "wrong" nature of the connection. The moments when Ginny can't remember, when the days blur together, the 'fog' in her mind. Then the uneasy requests, and her conscience screaming it's not right. All of that fits into the Ginny/Tom scenario - when their souls were literally connected.

You have shown this in a lovely manner. It's tragic and insane and scary all at the same time. Yet Ginny's longing for him makes sense and her sense of abandonment, of incompleteness without Tom's presence, is also on point. The descriptions and imagery you use is just brilliant and it really kept me captivated in the narrative throughout.

I don't know what else to say except that I'm in awe. This one-shot is a true masterpiece. I loved reading it. Honoured to have been able to read it! Great, great job.

10/10
Love
Angie (Lost Muse)

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Review #29, by adluvshpPride, Prejudice and Purebloods: Shaking

30th March 2016:
Hey there =)

This seems like a very interesting story! A romance/friendship between Sirius Black and a Slytherin OC - now this should be very interesting indeed. Your premise is unique and I already like how you've set things in the picture.

You've built some solid base for the plot right from the beginning itself which is great to draw in readers like myself. I am curious to know what happened to Eve, the whole Obliviate thing and if it's that she's hiding from her brother - the whole thing seemed shady and I'm excited to see how that shapes up in the chapters to follow.

I love Eve's characterisation so far - she's the perfect Slytherin. Cunning, determined, ambitious, manipulative but she doesn't seem to be cruel, so that's good. Sirius is portrayed well too and I'm looking forward to seeing his relationship with Eve develop. The way their two personalities would clash and blend - definitely an interesting idea.

Your dialogue and descriptions are overall nice and the narrative had a smooth flow. Great going and do keep writing =)

Cheers
Angie (Lose Muse)

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm really glad you liked it so far, and that you're interested to see what's going on! I was quite worried about getting Eve's character right, so I'm really glad you liked her too!

Thanks for taking the time to review, it means a lot! :)

-Kate x


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Review #30, by adluvshpEqual Measure Good and Bad: Body Blow

30th March 2016:
Hey Kshitij. Sorry it took me so long to get to you but RL and work has been crazy lately (i always say this, don't I?). Anyhow, I read through the chapters and yet again I'm here to review this last one (as I unfortunately don't have the time to review the previous). Hope that's okay =)

I am absolutely loving this story. Your plot continues to thicken and the way you develop the characters and their life stories is just marvellous. The idea of going through the "fountain" - from the house elves to the centaurs to the goblins - it's an absolute genius and I can actually see this happening in a canon post-war setting too. What is remarkable is the way you've portrayed this all, the seriousness of the situation is heavy through the narrative, and the way the suspense is woven is brilliant.

I really enjoyed reading the whole conversation about banks. The way they explained the lending process in the Muggle world and why it doesn't work that way in the wizarding world, and how they're trying to rectify it by making a deal with the goblins - all of it made perfect sense. Whoever is behind this has certainly plotted well - killing the goblin leader to make sure the deal doesn't happen and to turn the creatures against them.

I'm also very curious about why the goblin "mob" just disappeared like that since you've stressed on the point that it's not normal. Something much larger is at play and the way you continue to paint that underlying mystery while keeping the MCs on their toes is nicely done.

The little details in the story continue to make me feel for the characters as well, such as Ginny's pain and Harry's comfort/concern for her, as well as the soft exchanges Ron and Hermione have. I am loving the role Draco plays here and how you write him. It's true to character and yet fits in well with the scenarios.

All in all, I'm very excited to see where the plot is headed next and how the story shapes up further. I am going to keep following it so please do continue to badger me when you update and want a review xP I may not do it right at that time but I will get around to it, I can promise you that!

All in all, you've a brilliant story on your hands here and I absolutely love your style of writing. Very precise and yet with good descriptions - you give in enough information to inform but with hold enough to keep the readers intrigued. Great job!

10/10
cheers
Angie (Lose Muse)

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Review #31, by adluvshpLily's Seven Years: Year I

28th March 2016:
Hey there =)

This seems like a great start to your story. I like your characterisation of Lily, and the way you're writing out her seven years is interesting. How you introduced her, eased her into the narrative, showed her first meeting with James and the rest of the Marauders, and the sorting etc. was very nicely done. I quite enjoyed reading their interactions. The wrap up at the end of the chapter, giving a sort of overview of the year, was a nice touch. The events felt realistic and your dialogue too was well-written.

Over all, this has a great concept and I'm looking forward to reading more and finding out how you shape things further. Good luck with the rest of the story =) Before I sign off, I'd like to add that I'm here with this review from the HPFF Fundraiser 2016. As you may (or may not) know, the site is hosting a fundraiser to keep it afloat - and every little counts so please do consider donating if you can! Also, the forums are a great place to be a part of our lovely community so do consider joining too.

Cheers
Angie (Lost Muse)

Operation Green With Envy - Slytherin - R E N C L M

Author's Response: Hey!
Thank you so much for everything you said.
I wrote this story a while ago and at some point I'm going to go back and edit everything, so if you have any criticism in the next chapters I'd really appreciate it.
Bye :)
-Anneliese (backandforth)
5th year Slytherin, Marauder's Era


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Review #32, by adluvshpIllicit Obsessions: Illicit Obsessions

15th March 2016:
Hey Alexis!

I'm just here to drop you a thank you review for helping out with the Slytherin Quidditch riddle hunting =)

Wow, this was a very interesting one-shot. The idea of Peter and Narcissa was very unique and I loved how you wrote it. His obsession with her and how much he desired her and in the end how he let that win over his principles was very interesting portrayed.

Your characterisation of Narcissa and Lucius was also nicely done. Their coldness and manipulative nature came through smoothly. And the idea that Lucius was willing to let Peter "enjoy" his wife was sickening yet Lucius-like at the same time, and how Narcissa didn't mind it was also so messed up, and yet fit the theme of the story so well.

Overall, you portrayed the wartime tensions very well and Peter's state of mind was well-written. Your descriptions were amazing and I especially liked the way you wrote the love scenes. Tastefully done. All in all, enjoyed reading this very much!

Love
Angie
(Lost Muse)

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Review #33, by adluvshpIf Only in His Dreams: Winter's Solstice

14th March 2016:
Hey Alexis!

This was such a bittersweet, heart-wrenching read. While I'm not a huge fan of Severus/Lily, you portrayed Severus' feelings here beautifully and the one-shot gave me a sad smile. Your descriptions were just brilliant and painted a beautiful haunting imagery in front of my mind. The memory of the solstice - of Severus and Lily dancing together as a present to her - of their accidental brief kiss - it was so well-written and oh so sweet.

I liked how Snape reflected on when/how he'd fallen in love with Lily and how he described it as a "different kind of magic". And then towards the end, as the memory faded away, the loneliness he faced was so sad, and came through clearly from the narrative.

Your writing style and use of vocabulary was perfect here and really presented a great retrospective theme. I absolutely loved reading it.

Love,
Angie
(Lost Muse)

Hot Seat Slytherin Review.

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Review #34, by adluvshpAlways Her...: Snape: October 1970

13th March 2016:
Hey Amy =)

This was very well-written. It's almost poetic and I'd actually love to turn into a podcast! Your narrative style is just perfect to make that work.

I like how you wrote this from Severus' point of view. The thoughts were to the point and made sense. You tied it well with canon, the way he watched them, the light in which he saw Lily, and how much he wanted somebody to talk to - how much he wanted a friend.

The bitterness he felt towards his parents was spot on. His longing for Hogwarts came through well and I liked how he already hoped Lily would be by his side. The way he musters courage to tell her by the end of the piece is nicely done.

I absolutely loved your descriptions and the overall theme. Glad I could stop by!

10/10

Love,
Aditi // Angie

Author's Response: Thank you for the review!!
You are free to turn it into a podcast if you want!


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Review #35, by adluvshpLoose Lips Sink Ships: I Know Places

13th March 2016:
OMG WOLFSTAR FEELS. ELLIE. *clutches heart* This was too cute and sweet and nice and awesome and omg I loved it so much! I love you for writing this!

Your characterisation of Remus is too sweet and too on point. In other words, it's perfect. His insecurities, fear of rejection, his hesitancy, his love for Sirius, it's all written so very well. I absolutely loved him. His emotions were so raw and real and just beautiful and I wanted to hug him when he thought Sirius was rejecting his love.

And then Sirius. His carefree attitude, his playfulness, and yet the way he reciprocated Remus' feelings - it was just awesome. I was grinning when I was reading the kiss he and Remus shared. The way they got interrupted and how he handled the situation effortlessly was brilliant, haha.

And then the ending. Just D'awww! Loved it =)

Overall, this was a great read and I loved it. Thank you for helping out in Quidditch riddle hunting - this review is just my way of saying thank you.

Cheers
Angie
(Lost Muse)

Author's Response: HOWLLLIN FOR WOLFSTAR! hey ang ;)

yayay! I'm glad you felt that I really got these characters. Remus is one of my most favs, and Sirius is legit one of the hardest (besides Harry) for me to write, so I wanted to do them justice!

d'awwws to you too. those riddle hunts omg. I can't. I think I'm scarred lol. way to play so well for our team, and represent slytherin in the most amazing ways possible every day on HPFF!

love ya!
ellie


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Review #36, by adluvshp(1) The Grand Scheme of Things: Chapter 1 - Talking instead of Stalking

13th March 2016:
Hey there! I'm Lost Muse from over at the HPFF forums for a review!

I really enjoyed this! Your plot seems very promising and I'm very excited to read about a boy who has anxiety entering Hogwarts for the first time. His characterisation so far is really good - I like how he comes from a wizarding family and knows magical stuff but doesn't look down upon muggle-borns or anything like that. I also like the way you write his anxiety/panic attacks - it's believable. The narrative works well there and your descriptions are good.

Clara seems interesting too. Your portrayal of her is good and I'm looking forward to finding out more about her. She is friendly and nice, and I like how her interactions with Oliver went. It all flowed naturally.

All in all, I quite liked it. It's a great opening chapter and I hope to come back for more. Good job!

Cheers
Angie
(Lost Muse)

R E N C A L M - Operation Green With Envy - Slytherin.

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! I hope you enjoy the rest of the story :)

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Review #37, by adluvshpThe Stray: The Stray

5th March 2016:
Awww, this was so, so sweet, it made me smile big. I love dogs (and cats) so this was just such an adorable little one-shot. I really loved the concept of Sirius being a stray and a random Muggle woman being so kind to him. And how much he appreciated and was awed by her kindness. It was so sweet. The whole idea of him being out in the rain after being kicked out by his mother and then being taken in by the girl was plausible and you wrote it a realistic manner. The way she talked to the 'dog' and commanded him and fed him came across very naturally - that's how I'd behave too. I absolutely loved that she gave him the name "Snuffles". It tied in nicely with canon of Sirius going by that name in his dog form. The last bit when Sirius returns to her cafe in human form and fills her tip jar just warmed my heart. Totally would expect him to do something like that for the sweet lady. And then the ending - so many years later them coming across each other and she recognising him and taking him in again - the best!! It made me smile and tugged at my heartstrings. The concept was beyond sweet and the way you wrote it was just beautiful. All in all, it made for a wonderful read!

Cheers
Angie
(Lost Muse from the forums)

HPFF Review-A-Thon

Author's Response: Yay for such a wonderful cause! All of the reviewers did such a magnificent job! I was absolutely going for warm, fluffy fluff. I'm glad you liked it! I tried to write her dialogue the way I talk to my own dogs! Thank you for taking the time to leave such a thoughtful and sweet review!

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Review #38, by adluvshpUpside Down: Falling, making friends and falling some more

5th March 2016:
Hey there!

This is a very good start to your story! I like your characters and plot already, and you've an interesting summary. Your main character - Ellie - is a Hufflepuff which is pretty cool. It'd be nice to see things from a Puff's point of view. You've given a nice glimpse into her personality and life so far such as her relationship with her brother and her warm attitude towards strangers.

There's an air of suspense around the fact that Elle has left her best friends behind, and that her dorm mates etc are "in the past". I wonder what happened there for her to come to this situation. Good point of interest, and I hope you build on the backstory in the future chapters =)

I enjoyed your dialogue too. It was light and very realistic. The interaction between James and Elle/Nora was nicely written. Your narrative style has a certain cheek to it which brings a smile to my face. And overall, your hold on descriptions is good. For advice, I'd only suggest polishing your sentence structure and grammar a little bit to make the story flow even more smoothly. Besides that, you are a good writer and I'm excited to read more of this story. Do keep writing!

Cheers
Angie
(Lost Muse from the Forums)

For the HPFF Review-A-Thon

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you so much for writing my first review ever :D I am glad you like it so far!

I will definitely polish my grammar and sentence structure, thank you! It is extremely helpful with a bit of constructive criticism, as english is not my native language.

And yes, there will be some backstory to what happened between Eleonora and her friends in the later chapters :)


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Review #39, by adluvshpJust Laugh: Life

4th March 2016:
Hey there! I'm here as part of the Team Sassy Seven from the Slytherin house at the HPFF forums to paint your story green with a review.

I really like the premise of this story. This looks like a great start. Your plot seems intriguing and I'm excited to see where the story is going. The way you've set the scene for Sarah Blott to avenge the death of her father is nicely done. Maius looks like a great villain and you've portrayed him well so far.

Your descriptions are quite good and overall made for a good read as the first chapter. I think the story definitely has a lot of potential though could do with some slight polishing =) To answer your questions, I think a short introductory chapter such as this worked quite well to set the pace but you could definitely have a little longer chapters ahead. Do update as much and as fast as possible, as readers would be eager to see the story to its completion. For advice, work on your dialogue a little bit and the way you set the mood. More details are always nicer, but that's just my opinion.

Over all, definitely looks like a good story and you've a strong opening on your hands here. I had a great time reading it and I hope you continue writing. Would love to see how Sarah plans to take down Maius.

Cheers!

Operation Green with Envy
~RENCALM~
Angie
(A friendly Slytherin)

P.S. If you ever need help to hone your writing or need more opinions on the story, you could always join the forums. In case you don't know, the forums are the friendliest corner of the internet, and the Slytherin common room (contrary to popular belief) is the fuzziest place there xD

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! Honestly I wrote this like a month ago and was unsure of it myself so hearing it has potential is great. As for longer chapters, i believe that this chapter was over at that point otherwise I would have continued with it. Further chapters will be longer (although the next two may still be short as it is more introduction). I will definitely check out the forums. I've always been a Gryfindor/Slytherin (which is weird i suppose) so I have no idea what I'll do. Thanks again!

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Review #40, by adluvshpLucky Penny: The Woman out of Time

4th March 2016:
Hey there! I'm here as part of the Team Sassy Seven from the Slytherin house at the HPFF forums to paint your story green with a review.

This was a very, very interesting story! I loved how this was not in chronological order and yet made perfect sense. Your style of writing was impeccable. I think the way you portrayed Albus and Penny was very good. I really connected with Penny. I really enjoyed both your descriptions and dialogue. The way you explored their relationship through the years in different ages was very nicely done.

"For the very first time, I am just a girl, perhaps a lovely one, that wants to buy a book." - I really loved this line. It resonated with me. So simple and yet conveys so much.

The whole concept of Penny being a time-traveller was very unique - one that I've not come across on HPFF - and I loved the way you executed it into narrative. Seeing Albus through the years like that was awesome. And I really liked the section when Penny was age 4 and Albus 62. It was strange but in a good way.

All in all, great one-shot. I really liked reading it and I'm in awe of the coherency with which your ideas translate into narrative, because often the ideas are great but the story reads as confusing, but that didn't happen here. Lovely job.

~RENCALM~
Angie
(A friendly Slytherin)

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Review #41, by adluvshpBraided: You Know...

28th February 2016:
Hey! Here for the review swap.

As soon as I finished reading this, only word was floating in my mind - AMAZING.

I think this is definitely one of the most twisted and dark stories I've read on HPFF so far. You explore Dolohov's character so brilliantly and so amazingly. The way you explore his mind is just perfect. The entire flashback was absolutely fascinating in a very haunting way. The way he had no mercy, no conscience, you portrayed it flawlessly. His love for torture and death was baffling and yet it made sense.

Your narrative was superb. The choice of words, the flow, the over all writing style, it was lovely. The entire thing had a poetic feel to it and really captivated me while reading. I enjoyed it immensely. The descriptions were just breathtaking.

This review is nothing but a string of compliments because really there's no more feedback to give you! Such a well-written one-shot with great concept and great characterisation and absolutely fabulous descriptions. I am still a little creeped out by it. Haha. Great job!

Love
Angie
(Lost Muse)

Author's Response: Hello dearest Angie and welcome to my page! Please accept my apologies for the late reply.

Oh my goodness THANK YOU so very much for this lovely review--I'm very happy that you enjoyed it (even if it creeped you out a little :-P )!

It was a strange story for me--I LOVE writing Death Eaters and horror / dark stuff but to be honest Dolohov's mind is most certainly NOT a place I'd like to spend TOO much time in--he makes some of my OCs outside of fanfiction look like fairy princesses tbh! :-O

Thanks again for the awesome review as well as for the swap--I hope we can do it again sometime!

Karen xoxo



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Review #42, by adluvshpFlaming Quilltips: Pensieve to Parchment

24th February 2016:
Hey Ysh! Sorry for the delay in getting to your story!

So, I really loved this! Wow. I had no idea you were such an amazing writer! Your characterisation of Dorcas is brilliant. Despite the fragments, I think this flowed very well. Also really like the portrayal of Benjy. Such an interesting character, I can't wait to know more of his story, and of course Dorcas' too.

It's awesome that you're showing different point of views in this story and keeping equal focus on the main characters. The concept of expressing the plot through the letters is a great idea and works very well. The narrative was great.

Overall, this was a great first chapter and I'm curious to see how the story shapes up further. Great writing!! Keep going!

10/10
Cheers
Angie

Author's Response: Aww Angie, you flatter me too much. This is darker than the usual stories I write, so your approval is quite heartening.

With letters, the narrative couldn't be as flowery or poetic as I would normally write it... I'm glad you feel that this format worked well for the plot reveal itself, because that was my biggest concern.

Ahh yes it is a one-shot like I clarified, but some aspects of this story might just be revealed in my WIP, if I'm hit with the right inspiration :D

Thank you so much for stopping by, Angie. Glad you enjoyed this story, and thank you for such a great review!

Love
Ysh


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Review #43, by adluvshpCurating Artifice: An Ode to the “Dark” Arts and Dramione: Part 1: Smut

24th February 2016:
Hey there =)

Oooh. This was a delectable read. I loved it so much. Guilty pleasures haha.

Your portrayal of an older Hermione and Draco was very interesting. I especially enjoyed your take on Hermione here. Loved how she was so bold, and demanded Draco to "liberate her". And then the love scene. Very well-written. Tastefully and deliciously done, hehe.

The descriptions were great, and really liked your narrative. I enjoyed the read. After all, who doesn't enjoy a well-written Dramione doing interesting things secretly?

Great job!! 10/10

Cheers
Angie

Author's Response: hi angie~~~

Thank you :) and thanks for the share/nod in the dramione thread! Hehe thank you, Hermione is quite naughty in this. I enjoyed writing it. Trying to keep her somewhat true to her younger self was difficult though.

Congrats on winning the challenge btw ;)

wub, wubs - ellie


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Review #44, by adluvshpI'll Go With You: I'll Go With You

23rd February 2016:
Wow. Just wow.

I stumbled across this story at lunch looking for some good Harry/Hermione to read, and I wasn't disappointed (though my boss would be if he knew I was reading fan fiction at work hahaha).

I really loved this. The way you explore the feelings of Harry and Hermione post-war, and even Ron to some extent, is brilliant. Harry's characterisation was just perfect and his reaction and behaviour made perfect sense. Going through a war like that, obviously it's hard to move on. My heart broke for him.

And then Hermione was very well-written. I loved the way you portrayed her relationship with Harry. I ship them so hard here. "Let's grow old." That was a profound moment. Then the love scene. My god. Could not have been better. You described it very tastefully and at the same time in a tantalising manner. It worked the way it was supposed to. I could resonate with Harry/Hermione's connection. Brilliant.

I am glad Harry left for the trip in the end. It tied up the narrative together, showing that he was ready to try and start healing. Hermione helped him there, and I only hope that their relationship flourishes from when he returns.

This was such a lovely read. Great job!

Love
Angie
(Lost Muse)

Author's Response: I made such an "aw shucks" face when I saw this review! I haven't posted anything in forever, so it's great to get a review. (really. I hid my face in my shirt.)

Harry/Hermione is maybe a guilty pleasure of mine. I don't necessarily ship them, but I enjoy exploring their relationship. Or maybe just when I want to be super angsty.

Also, I find the trio most interesting post-war/pre-family, and I'm glad you enjoyed my interpretation and characterization.

Thanks for the review!

Sam.


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Review #45, by adluvshpA Tale of Three Children: Muggle-Born

23rd February 2016:
Hey! Lost Muse here from the forums with your much delayed requested review.

Ooh I really enjoyed reading this! Your writing style is refreshing and engaging and pulled me right in. I liked how you described Joey seeing signs of the wizarding world and yet not being able to pinpoint why. Any normal clueless person would react like that and you have done a good job of showing it.

I absolutely loved the arrival of Hagrid and his pink umbrella. It made me grin, transporting me back to Philosopher's stone when Harry finds out he's a wizard. The reaction of the parents is very apt too and made me chuckle.

Your descriptions, grammar, and overall narrative looks good, and I didn't spot any glaring errors. The character of Joey looks interesting and I like how you've portrayed him so far. It'd be good to watch him grow as the story progresses.

Do keep writing! Great start to the story =)

Cheers,
Angie

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Review #46, by adluvshpCatching Captain: Party Pandemonium

23rd February 2016:
Hey! Lost Muse from the forums here with your much delayed requested review.

I really enjoyed reading this. I don't know why you'd say your first chapter isn't hooking enough because it surely was hooking for me to read through all the chapters posted and decide to review this one =)

Your characterisation of James is brilliant and I really enjoy reading him. Love the way you write dialogue too. It flows naturally and is engaging. His equation with Emma is interesting to read and I like how you portray her from James' POV.

The narrative is perfect with right balance between humour and normalcy. Nothing is over the top and your descriptions work very well to paint the scenes in front of reader eyes.

The supporting cast of characters like Lily and Dave are also well written and I enjoy reading them and their interactions with the MCs. I already ship James/Emma too, haha.

All in all, I think your story is headed in a good direction. The plot is fun and the writing is quite good. For CC, I'd just say work on your flow a little bit - it comes across as stunted sometimes - the transitions between scenes and such. Besides that, it's very good and I liked the story a lot!!

Keep writing. Cheers!
~Angie

Author's Response: Hi! Sorry for taking so long to get back to this, I've been really caught up with exams, and had only enough time to check hpff for 2 minutes at a time.

It's really, really reassuring to know that the story is hooking, because that was one of my bigger worries for the first few chapters.

Thanks for all the feedback, it's really helpful! I wasn't too big on the transitions between scenes either, so it's definitely something I'll work on in the next few chapters.

Thanks again!


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Review #47, by adluvshpNine Years: May 29th, 1993

23rd February 2016:
Hey! Lost Muse here for your very delayed requested review from the forums.

So, instead of reviewing Chapter1 , I whooshed through this story and decided to review this one =) And I don't regret my decision.

Your characterisation of Fred and Lee is lovely. I really like how you write them. And of course, George too. The way you've shown the canon events unfold through their eyes is very interesting. Knowing their thoughts and actions behind those scenes is great and you've done justice to it.

I like how Lee was there for Fred in this chapter, and the way he comforted him. The awkwardness he felt was also natural and you wrote everything realistically. The descriptions were great. I felt really sad for Fred, and his reaction to the Ginny ordeal was understandable. The narrative was perfect.

The characters are definitely likeable and events are pretty much in line with canon. You've a good hold on the plot and I'm intrigued as to how things proceed. Great job and keep writing!

Cheers
Angie

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

I like writing in canon-era but about different events. It takes some of the pressure off plot and means I can focus on the characters instead.

And I'm so glad you think the characters are likeable!

Emma xx


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Review #48, by adluvshpHermione's Birthday Surprise!: Part I

23rd February 2016:
Hey!

Ooh this was a delightful little treat to read. I loved how fluffy and cute this was. Hermione's swooning over Draco was just adorable. I loved how you gave us some backstory regarding their situation before jumping into the main scene. I really enjoyed your descriptions.

And what Draco did for Hermione with the candles and the petals, merlin he is perfect haha. I really liked reading their banter too, and now I'm very curious to see what else he has in store for her.

Great read! Hope I can be back for the next chapter soon.

Cheers!
Angie
(Lost Muse)

Author's Response: Oh hey Angie!
I'm really glad you enjoyed this. This made my day! As I know how awesome a writer you are, any praise coming from you is huge indeed! This little piece actually started out as a challenge one-shot, but it had a mind of its own and got a little out of hand. Nevertheless, I'm stoked that you liked it! Thank you! ::hugs::
Bimah


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Review #49, by adluvshpChandelier: Chandelier

22nd February 2016:
Hey Nix!

Ooh I really enjoyed reading this! Your characterisation of Pansy is very good. Her actions and thoughts make sense. The way you started this off with the end of the battle was really good. And how Pansy couldn't believe anything was real - it was a very natural reaction. And then her sister leaving, merlin, I felt bad for Pansy. She really did lose everything, and you got that across very well.

Draco breaking up with her was another brutal move. How you showed Pansy breaking apart was perfect, and then I loved how sweet Blaise was throughout, trying to be there for her. It made sense for her to keep pushing him away.

The manner in which Pansy became a 'party girl' was again realistic. Sometimes, it happens that you want to be a whole new person, and after everything she went through, it came across naturally why she'd behave the way she did. I liked how you didn't go into explicit detail about her lifestyle but told us enough to understand what she was doing and what was going on. The whole "being numb" to everything was perfect.

Gah I loved the ending bit. I am so glad everything came together. Blaise confessed he liked her. It was so adorable that he hung around all these years for her. And her contemplating on this ordeal was cute. I was happy she decided to take his advice, turn her life around, and be with Blaise - he is a good guy. Loved your portrayal of him.

All in all, this flowed smoothly and had a brilliant narrative. Your dialogues were great and the overall plot and characterisation was superb. As always, I loved your writing. Great take on Pansy!

Cheers
Angie

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the lovely review, Angie! I'm so glad you liked this story! Even though I am planning on completely rewriting to make it flow better and add more backstory to it.

xxNix


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Review #50, by adluvshpChasing Dragons : But Guys, Dragons

22nd February 2016:
Hey there!

What a lovely read! I love your characterisation of Charlie. He is honest, he knows what he wants, and he doesn't hesitate to go after it. The way he imagines the Quidditch game to actually be in a dragon sanctuary is very cool and shows how much he wants that. You've portrayed great imagery to convey his dream and passion. The friendship detail with H was very sweet, and I liked the interaction with the uncle and how ecstatic Charlie was to get the offer.

Your descriptions and use of words was wonderful, and overall flow was great. I really enjoyed reading this! A refreshing take on Charlie =)

Cheers
Angie (Lost Muse)

Author's Response: Aw thank you so much!

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