Reading Reviews From Member: adluvshp
  
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Review #26, by adluvshpIn Retrospect: Of the Rules of Engagement

11th July 2014:
So I was right, the killer was indeed Natalia. I would have liked to read more backstory and details about the whole ordeal though, and about her too, since Harry and Hermione spent so much time working on the case. Nonetheless, how you wrote it was alright too I suppose. The dialogues were especially very powerful and witty, and I liked that.

Aw Harry and Hermione are finally blissfully together. Harry's thoughts on the case were justified though, and I'm glad he has Hermione to help him through all the hardships he goes through, and vice versa. Their romance was quite lovely and I had a good time reading it. You've wrapped up things with this final chapter quite well, and I like the way things have turned out. All the loose ends are tied up and it's quite neat.

This was really a brilliant story with an interesting plot, awesome characters, good pace, and some very good writing. You ddi a fabulous job with it and it was a pleasure to read. I hope you do post up the epilogue if you're planning to as I'd love to get a glimpse into Harry/Hermione's future here.

All in all, amazing story and very good last chapter!

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Review #27, by adluvshpIn Retrospect: Of Dates and Coincidences

11th July 2014:
Finally they do it, haha xD I loved the making love scene. I think it was written with the right amount of details, portrayed in a clean yet interesting manner, and over all had a good sensual, passionate, and romantic feel about it. It's not horrid at all so don't berate yourself. I also really like the friendship between Callum and Harry which you show so well through the flashbacks. It is all quite adorable. The contemplation about the case is definitely getting more intense and I've to say I don't think it is the mother, despite the note this chapter ended at. I feel like it's kind of a mis-lead when it's actually Natalia.

All in all, this was another well-written chapter, and you did justice to the plot here. The characterisations in the story have been consistent and the interactions between them enjoyable to read. I'm glad I got a chance to read this story and now I'm very interested to know how things end, especially with how the case wraps up.

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Review #28, by adluvshpIn Retrospect: Of Mommy Dearest

11th July 2014:
Another suspect is brought into the chapter here, bringing more intriguing scenarios. I still feel Natalia is a better suspect though, since the mother was greedy enough to let her daughter be called a liar despite what was done to her. Besides, after hearing the expert's opinion on the illness, Natalia seems like a better suspect for the murders too.

The flashbacks with Callum are also good way of showing more perspective into Harry's life at that time. I am really enjoying those memories. As for the present, the whole scene at the Burrow was quite shocking. Again, I would not really expect Molly to behave like this, nor for Hermione/Harry to feel so badly towards her, but I guess that's how you've characterised Molly here so can't be undone.

I loved the "I love you" exchange between Harry and Hermione, it was absolutely adorable. The whole sexual tension towards the end was pretty awesome too and I'm excited to see where things go in the next chapter.

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Review #29, by adluvshpIn Retrospect: Of Boxing Things In

11th July 2014:
Another great chapter! I quite enjoyed this one, since we met Natalia, who seems like a very good suspect of the case. The interaction she had with Harry/Hermione was quite intriguing. I also liked the little details mentioned like her reading of so many newspapers and magazines - it seems like there could be something fishy there. Her diagnosis is also pretty suspicious, especially since she was let out. I'm curious to know more about her, her connection with the case, and what else is going to happen next.

The flashbacks were once again nicely written, and so was Hermione/Harry's interaction in the present. The ending scene was sweet and adorable and made me smile. I can sense that the story along with the case is coming to its conclusion now, especially since Harry and Hermione's relationship has blossomed and the case is close to resolution.

Good job!

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Review #30, by adluvshpWhen Choosing Is The Hardest Thing To Do: Something To Say

10th July 2014:
I am liking the interactions between Narcissa and Snape, but I wish there was more buildup between their relationship to help us get a better understanding. For instance, their romantic scenes could also do with some detail of Snape's inner thoughts and feelings.

Snape continuing to send and signing his letters as the Half-Blood Prince is a nice touch as it adds a sense of suspense to the story. Hermione and Ron worrying for Harry's safety is also believable. I do hope Harry goes alone and meets Snape though to get the most useful information out of him.

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Review #31, by adluvshpWhen Choosing Is The Hardest Thing To Do: The Encounter

10th July 2014:
Another interesting chapter which I liked. The interaction between Moody, Lupin, and Snape along with the trio was nicely done. It was understandable that they weren't ready to trust Snape immediately. I would have definitely liked to see more of banter before they decided to 'go along with it' though. Perhaps some further explanations from Snape. Nonetheless, you set the scene alright. It is interesting that Snape is continuing to pose as a death eater and get information for the trio.

Again, you can improve by building up more descriptions and setting the scene with more details. The dialogues can also be less clipped and more informative, written with more emotion, to be able to visualise the scene. If you can incorporate all that, the story will definitely improve.

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Review #32, by adluvshpWhen Choosing Is The Hardest Thing To Do: Suprising Feelings & Letters

10th July 2014:
Hello! This was an interesting start to your story. It's kind of OOC that Snape is in love with Narcissa, or at least has some feelings for her, but I guess it goes with the concept of your story. I like how this is set after Harry's sixth year though, after Dumbledore's death, as it would make more sense for Snape to out himself and plead with Harry to meet him at this point.

For constructive criticism, I'd say that you definitely have room for improvement in your writing. You can include more description and details about the surroundings as well as the character's inner thoughts and feelings. It would definitely add to the story and make it more of an interesting read. There are some grammatical and phrasing errors as well which can be fixed with a thorough re-read.

Besides that, this is a good effort so keep writing. Your plot is something different and interesting. I'd especially like to see more of things from Snape's point of view, and whether he'll be returning to Hogwarts after all this - if it's related to canon at all.

House Cup Review 2014 - Educational Decree #7.

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Review #33, by adluvshpIn Retrospect: Of “Looney Bins”

10th July 2014:
I like that we got to know more about Andrea in this chapter. This other girl that she let in sometimes might be worth investigating also. I think Harry and Hermione will soon the crack the case.

The backstory that you provided on Callum and Harry's friendship in this chapter was also nice. It was interesting to see what Harry thinks of his friends outside of Ron/Hermione. The poor guy has so much self-loathing issues though, or at least he had, as is evident in the flashback therapy sessions. It's quite commendable how you've managed to portray it all so realistically. Also, I loved the ending scene of this chapter, H/Hr are super cute xD

Great as always!

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Review #34, by adluvshpIn Retrospect: Of Truths and Half-Truths

10th July 2014:
So there has been another murder. I am hoping this is the last, and now Harry can catch the killer. The nerve of her though - she actually kissed the victim's forehead. I like how Hermione and Harry work together by the way, you write their interactions quite well. The beginning interaction between the two and the receptionist was quite amusing too. I am also looking forward to see what they can get out of the raped girl's personal Healer.

It is all very interesting now and I'm eager to read more. I also see that there are only a few more chapters left now so I assume the case will be solved soon, and that Harry/Hermione will finally have their 'happy ending'. I also hope there's some more romance in the upcoming chapters before the end xD

Good going so far!

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Review #35, by adluvshpIn Retrospect: Of a Friendship

10th July 2014:
Now the plot is edging towards its climax, its thickening, I can feel it, and I am loving it. I think it's great the progress they made. This girl got raped and then killed herself - I see high chances of a close loved one avenging the girl's rape and death by performing the horrendous murders. It's all very interesting and I'm curious to see what Harry/Hermione find out from the asylum, and if they get any new leads.

I also liked the little conversation that Ron and Harry shared in the beginning of the chapter. That along with the flashbacks did explain the dynamics between the trio at the moment. It's sweet how Ron, Harry, and Hermione are still close after everything they've been through, even despite the 'rough patches'. You've written their characters quite well, and the situations are portrayed believably. Kudos for that!

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Review #36, by adluvshpIn Retrospect: Of Sexiness

10th July 2014:
Yay they're finally together! Ah this chapter has brought a huge smile to my face. I think the whole romance scene was written very well. It was clean, neat, with the right choice of words, and over all had a passionate yet beautiful feel to it. I think it was perfect for Harry/Hermione's first time together. The conversation before and after it was also nicely done. I loved the little speech Hermione gave to Harry about him giving her un-platonic feelings and distracting her. The interaction in the morning was too cute as well, and had me grinning. It ended on a light note and i liked that.

All in all, another lovely chapter, and I'm so glad that the romance we'd been waiting for has finally happened. I hope to know more about the case in the later chapters now, as well as see Harry/Hermione's relationship blossom.

Good work!

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Review #37, by adluvshpIn Retrospect: Of Planning

10th July 2014:
Okay so I'm really curious to know exactly what Harry uncovered about the rape case. They havent been brought in questioning because of what? This is quite frustrating so I hope it's revealed soon! Obviously, this means the case has taken an interesting turn though. Moving on to the other situation, I am glad Ron gave the two the 'go-ahead'. I think his reaction was believable and well-written. The whole scene was actually quite entertaining to read and I almost chuckled at the way Harry finally blurted it out.

Oh and I'm excited to meet Anderson in the present and see what he has to say about the case. That should be interesting. The flashbacks in this chapter also tied well with the present events as Harry has finally confessed to Hermione. I sure hope that after Ron's "approval", Hermione can finally let loose and just give in to her feelings for Harry.

Great going!

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Review #38, by adluvshpIn Retrospect: Of Pasts, Futures, and Maybes

10th July 2014:
I am really liking the story as it progresses. I like how Harry has talked to Anderson in the past about what he envisions the relationship to be like with Hermione. It's interesting to see it almost unfolding now in the present. I also enjoyed Hermione and Harry's interaction there. Hermione is so cute with the blushing and all, it is obvious she wants him. I wonder how the 'talk' with Ron will go though, when Harry does talk to him. I do hope there're no complications. I also like this Callum guy, he is a fun bloke haha.

All in all, this was another good chapter though a filler of sorts. I am excited to see the turn the story will take from here, both in terms of the case and in terms of Harry/Hermione's relationship. The characters as engaging as ever and the dialogues very neat. The narrative is also quite interesting and the over all plot is something that keeps me hooked and curious.

Good job!

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Review #39, by adluvshpIn Retrospect: Of Discombobulation

9th July 2014:
Things are looking up (kind of) - Christina and Harry broke up but they retain their friendship so that's nice. And then of course, Harry finally confessed to Hermione what he truly feels for her. I am sad Hermione said she's not ready though. That is really sad =( I hope she realises her mistake soon and sees that her being with harry is really the best thing for both of them.

The way you wrote their interaction in this chapter was very well done. The dialogues and all were nicely written, not over done, and the flashbacks were also quite good.

I am hoping for some sexual tension between Harry and Hermione now, especially with the way this chapter ended haha. Here's to hoping that Hermione changes her mind.

Good going!

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Review #40, by adluvshpIn Retrospect: Of Reconnections and New Connections

9th July 2014:
Ah they finally kissed! But it was a mistake? Nooo =( Now this is just cruel. Plain cruel! *sigh* And there was a random flashback kiss too! Two kisses and none of them mattering (to Hermione at least). As I said, plain cruel.

Oh well, I suppose I'll have to get over it. I did like the idea of the whole 'Harry-Hermione' time in this chapter. It was quite sweet and I enjoyed their day out. It's awesome how well the two know each =) I also like the slight flirtation going on between them. The way the kiss happened was a bit too fast of course, pretty passionate, but done in a moment of heat. I don't know what Hermione or Harry will think about this further, and how this will affect their relationship. I do hope Hermione realises her feelings for Harry though and stops treating it as a mistake.

The whole conversation they had about Harry putting Hermione on a pedestal was quite insightful too by the way, and I liked reading it. It provided another perspective to their relationship. Hermione is obviously clueless that Harry is in love with her. Poor him.

Another good chapter with nice flow. I am liking the pace of your story but I hope for more romance soon between my favourite couple (H/Hr of course).

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Review #41, by adluvshpIn Retrospect: Of a Tertiary

9th July 2014:
There was supposed to be a kiss in this chapter? Naww I wish there had been =( Oh well, coming to the point, I can't believe there's a victim all the way in New York now. This all seems really fishy. The girlfriend of the victim was obviously very shallow though. She didn't care much about the fact that her boyfriend died, but more that she wouldn't be Mrs. Dermott now and lose all the money, lol.

I was also a bit confused as to why Ron and Hermione are still living together in one apartment if they have broken up? I get that they're still friends and all, but won't it be a little awkward? I don't know, it just seems weird. If the trio were living together that's something else but this doesn't seem so right.

Anyway, another good chapter with lots of information. Oh and I also liked the bit in the flashback which shed more light on to Buckley and all. Harry's issues are also showing through and it's nice that he was able to finally resolve them all; of course it's only normal that after everything he went through he will have those.

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Review #42, by adluvshpIn Retrospect: Of the Strangeness

9th July 2014:
Ah so Ron/Hermione finally broke up. I guess I am kinda "happy" about it, haha. I would have liked to know more details know, about the relationship, the break up, and also about Harry's thoughts and feelings on the matter. More so, the dinner scene did feel a little too short as we haven't properly been acquainted with Christina yet either, so I'd have liked to see more of banter and perhaps some developments during the scene instead of it ending the way it did. Unless of course the dinner is continuing in the next chapter, then no worries. Further, I would have also liked to read the press conference, or at least a snippet of it, to see the kind of questions they were asked and how Harry and Hermione handled it all.

That aside, this was another well written chapter that I enjoyed. I think the flashback therapy sessions are quite insightful and a clever way to bring out Harry's feelings. Him admitting that he was afraid of Hermione realising she's much better without him, was a poignant scene and I felt for Harry there. It was the highlight of the chapter I'd say. I also liked this Henrick character and it looks like there's going to be some nasty digging for the case, so I wonder how that's going to turn out and what they'll find.

Good work as always!

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Review #43, by adluvshpIn Retrospect: Of Fears

9th July 2014:
Finally! Harry does have feelings for Hermione then. That's a relief to read, haha. I loved the last line "Don't try to understand what Hermione is for me". That just shows exactly how much Hermione means to him, and that he is in love with her. But I guess he refrains his feelings because of Ron, and maybe he thinks Hermione doesn't feel the same. I am now curious whether Hermione ever found out about this though, and how did Harry come to terms with the whole thing since this was in the past.

Coming to the present, I liked the conversation with the boss. I think it was well-written and it shed some light on some matters. The press conference is surely going to be something interesting, and it's good to know it's happening in the next chapter. The banter between Harry and Hermione was, as always, witty and fun to read. I also like the hold Hermione has over Harry - its cute how she can silence him and make him behave with a single look. Things are of course getting more and more exciting so I'm headed to the next chapter now!

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Review #44, by adluvshpIn Retrospect: Of Hell

9th July 2014:
Okay so we have made some good progress with the case in this chapter. The killer is most probably a woman, the two victims were very good friends and dated many common women, so this killer could be an ex, or could be someone seeking revenge for a loved one. That is quite a lot of information to take in but I'm excited to see where it goes. I think the pace of the story is pretty good so far!

The flashbacks were of course an important component and I liked reading them. Harry opening up to the therapist is good. It's kind of sad how much he cares about not letting Hermione down - I wonder if he realises he is IN love with her. Maybe not in flashbacks, but at least in the present, hopefully he'll realise it. Speaking of the present, Ron/Hermione are going through a rough patch then, with Hermione hinting at the relationship ending.

I am quite enjoying this if you haven't guessed already, and all these bits and pieces that are slowly unfolding are pretty good. Looking forward to the next chapter and more progress (in both the case and Harry/Hermione relationship haha).

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Review #45, by adluvshpIn Retrospect: Of Turned Tables

9th July 2014:
Hello again! Ah another body and another gruesome case. Things are getting pretty intense, especially with the mass hysteria and all. I am also enjoying the normalcy between Harry, Ron, and Hermione. I wonder when Harry and Hermione will start making "progress" in their relationship though (yes I am impatient haha).

The flashbacks are also very good, providing a strong backstory. It's cool how they're tied with the present narrative. Harry telling the therapist that Hermione meant the world to him was the sweetest thing ever by the way, and my favourite from this chapter.

I look forward to the 'double date'. I wonder if the issues are truly resolved between Ron/Hermione or not. We will also get to see more of Christina so that's interesting too. All in all, another good chapter and the plot looks headed in a nice direction. Great work!

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Review #46, by adluvshpSolitude, My Pain (The Last Thing Left Of Me): Untitled

9th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review - Educational Decree #5.

This was a very powerful and sad one-shot. Your characterisation of Narcissa was really nicely done. I could feel her pain and could understand her distress clearly. The whole concept of her not being afraid of Boggarts was also done nicely. The ending was the most heart wrenching though with Lucius dying. It still left me wondering whether it was real or not.

Your descriptions were very beautiful as well, and painted a vivid yet tragic imagery in front of my eyes. I could see the whole Azkaban scene with Lucius reaching out to her. That was a very impacting and haunting bit.

All in all, I really liked this, and it could almost drive me to tears if I was absorbed enough. Great work!

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Review #47, by adluvshpRemember Cedric Diggory: Remember Cedric Diggory

9th July 2014:
Hello! Here for House Cup 2014 Review - Educational Decree #5

This was a beautiful little story. The idea of seeing different characters reflecting on Cedric's death was very nice. I especially loved how you wrote Harry's piece, and also Cho's. They were both very well done. Your choice of words and writing style was also very interesting and went along nicely with the mood of the story. There were some grammatical and punctuation errors here and there, but nothing that can't be fixed easily with a re-read.

All in all, this was really touching, and a great concept. I also find it commendable that you managed to include Albus Dumbledore and Cedric's parents in this too, as it must have been most difficult to write them.

Good work!
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Review #48, by adluvshpIn Retrospect: Of Living and Dieing

9th July 2014:
Hello again!

Ah definitely enjoyed this chapter, as you said it was less dark and drunk than the others. It was nice to see Hermione helping Harry in the flashback by taking him to the AA meeting, though of course it's hard for the bloke.
The present was interesting too. We finally got to meet Christina, albeit not long enough to know her properly, but still. The moment between her and Hermione was funny. I also like the little details like Hermione liking what she saw with Harry clad in a towel around his waist xP
Ooh and there's been another murder of the same kind. Now, this is something very intriguing. I'm curious to see what they find out about this one!

Another great chapter,

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Review #49, by adluvshpIn Retrospect: Of Work

8th July 2014:
Hello again! So I have an exam tomorrow but I seem to not to be able to stop reading this story haha xP

I liked this chapter. The dialogue was witty and fun.
I loved the conversation between Harry/Hermione in the flashback.
It was nice to see Harry opening up to Hermione like that.
Of course, Hermione's anger was totally justified as well, and I would act the same way were I in her situation.
Then, the Grimmauld place flashback was also a good addition as it was a beautiful heart-to-heart between the two. I smiled when Hermione described why she'd fight for Harry. It made sense =)
The present interactions were interesting as well. We got a new revelation that Harry has a girlfriend called Christina. Now I'm excited to see what she's like so hope she appears soon.
It's also interesting that Ron and Hermione are having some 'trouble'. I'd like to see more of how that's going in future chapters hopefully.
The most interesting part was getting to know more about the case and the kill. They're not much closer to getting to the murderer though.
For one piece of CC, I'd say that you used the terms "actually", "really" quite a lot in this chapter in your dialogue as well as narrative. As far as dialogue is concerned, it is okay, but I'd suggest toning it down for the narrative because these words interrupt the narrative flow.
But all in all, another enlightening chapter which leaves me wanting for more. Good work =)

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Review #50, by adluvshpIn Retrospect: Of Sure Things

8th July 2014:
So Harry drunkenly kissed her, hmm, and brought her to tears on her birthday. Now that's not very good.
I did like Harry's outburst though (in the flashback), he was after all a human, he's been through so much, he has seen so much, and it is understandable for him to feel this way.
I'm glad Hermione and Ron pulled him through this though.
Coming to the present, the whole mathematical spell thing sounded pretty complicated to me and I'm not sure I got it but I hope they're able to make progress in the case.
I also liked the ending scene of the chapter. I couldn't understand what Hermione was talking about at first - when did she miss him? - but I think I know now.
Ooh and she has had an ex, that means Ron and her broke up sometime after the war? Must have been a really on-and-off relationship then.

So far, the story is interesting and I'm eager to read more of Harry/Hermione action (which implies a Ron/Hermione break up). I also am curious to know more about the case. Good going!

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