Reading Reviews From Member: adluvshp
  
1,845 Reviews Found

Review #1, by adluvshpEqual Measure Good and Bad: The Curse of the Stonehenge

28th August 2015:
Hello fellow Slytherin xD Review tag!

Okay, wow, I really love this! Your plot idea is very interesting and I'm so curious to know the whole mystery about this stonehenge and the curse. You've woven it in the narrative so well. The descriptions are really good and I was completely hooked while reading.

I love the characterisations of Harry, Hermione and Draco too. You've written them well. The little backstory in the form of thoughts serves well to explain the setting a little bit more, so good job there. It's interesting how they're living seemingly calm lives and now this whole situation has arisen.

Oh and I loved the little details you included here and there, like the Muggle tweeting etc. It gives a broad perspective into the things.

All in all, great writing. Interesting plot and I hope to come back to read more soon! I am very curious to know who is behind all this and what is the purpose, and how do Harry, Hermione and Draco fit into it all.

For CC, I'd just say to work on your sentence structure a little bit. Sometimes, it comes across as a little off. And maybe break the paragraphs at times, especially when differentiating between dialogue and narrative. That would make for a smoother read.

Apart from that, it was brilliant! Hopefully, I can come back to read more soon =)

Great job!!
8.5/10

Cheers,
AditiDraco95

Author's Response: Thanks AditiDraco95 for the review. We fellow Slytherins tend to stick together now, don't we. ;)

I would surely wish that you read the rest of the chapters of this story and do let me know what you think about them. But the answers are going to take some time coming. I enjoy creating a good mystery.

As for the CC, I realize I made some basic errors in my sentence structuring in this chapter. My only excuse is that this was the very first time I wrote a fanfic and I surely hope I have improved in the later chapters. Do let me know if you feel otherwise.

Thanks once more for the amazing review AditiDraco95. See you soon in the Pit.


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Review #2, by adluvshpAll in a Day's Work: The One Where it Rains Clothing

28th August 2015:
Hey! I thought I'd drop by for another Hot Seat review xD

This was certainly fun to read! It gave a very good look into the lives of the Sparrows. I am already enjoying Day's personality. You've done the characterisation brilliantly - relatable, easy to follow, easy to get attached to! I'm excited to see how the story progresses alongside the character development.

The Sparrows look like a fun family. I especially loved all the going-to-hogwarts chaos bit, that is very realistic, haha. I was smiling throughout reading! The inclusion of the Weasley-Potter gang (plus Scorpius) is also done very well. It's interesting how Imogen is Scorpius' cousin. I look forward to the characters' lives unfolding as the story moves on.

This Head Boy prank idea looks interesting and I am excited to see what you'd have whipped up there. Poor Wren xP

So, if you couldn't tell already, I had a great time reading this first chapter. It gave a nice insight into the life of the main character and introduced the setting very well. The tone of the story is also set and I like that.

Your narrative is punchy and interactive, and not once plain or boring, so that's great. It helped in keeping me hooked. i really dont have any CC for you. It's a great start to what looks like a marvellous story so keep writing =)

Cheers!
AditiDraco95

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Review #3, by adluvshpTom. : Ginny.

27th August 2015:
Erin!

Wow, this was just, wow. I am honestly speechless. I saw your tweet about this story being posted and couldn't help but check it out. And I'm so glad I did!

Your characterisation of Ginny is very powerful here. I see the little girl, the last among all the brothers, alone, scared, desperate, with a crush on the Boy Who Lived, and I see her emotions so very clearly throughout. How she finds comfort in Tom, the anxiety, the thought that perhaps it's wrong - it all comes to me while I read this very easily and I loved that.

Your use of second person is just amazing. I'm Ginny while reading. I feel everything and I'm sitting on the edge of my chair right now (at work) because I was so engrossed while reading this.

Your descriptions are just lovely. I always enjoy your writing a lot because of the descriptive style and this one-shot didn't disappoint either. The words flow beautifully and the narrative is very strong and captivating. I hope one day I can write like you do!

The "characterisation" of Tom is also very nicely done. I can see how he manipulates, and the way you show him through Ginny's eyes is wonderful. I loved how he is the boy who understands her, who knows how she feels, and how she awaits his words hungrily. The concept of this was very clear from the beginning to the end and I felt exactly what the writing was trying to convey, so hats off.

Honestly, I don't know what else to say. I'd gladly give you any CC if were there were any room for improvement here, but this is impeccable and I'm speechless and my mind is blank because I'm engulfed in the amusingness this one-shot (and your writing) is, so I don't have anything more valuable or coherent to add xP

As always, great, great job. Love your writing! Keep it up!

With lots of love and hugs (and a little envy because hey I want to write as good as you xP),
Angie (AditiDraco95)

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Review #4, by adluvshpin this moment: i am ticking like clockwork

23rd August 2015:
Hey!

Wow, this was a great one-shot! I loved your characterisation of Lily. It was unique, interesting and also relatable in a way! Loved your narrative style and the way you wove in her thoughts throughout. The whole concept of Lily with an ice cold heart in these times of war, and the slow "creeping up" of James on her was shown wonderfully.

All in all, great job! Loved your writing, superb characterisation and lovely concept. Glad it had a little happy ending =)

Cheers,
AditiDraco95

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Review #5, by adluvshpFirewhiskey: Chapter 1

10th August 2015:
Hey! Here for our review swap =)

So, this story immediately caught my attention when I was scrolling through your AP - mainly because of the unique pairing! Charlie & Poppy, it's definitely something unconventional and a little bit weird so I can totally imagine how hard it would have been for you to write it. Kudos to you for pulling it off so well!

I loved Charlie's characterisation here. My heart broke for the poor guy. I could feel his pain over the losses of the war. The little touch about him seeing a small boy die was also very heartbreaking. I could see him (and other war survivors) going through this kind of pain and suffering after the war so you totally captured the grief and anguish wonderfully. The idea of him turning to alcohol for comfort doesn't surprise me either.

It was a nice touch to see Poppy comforting him. The way the two understood each other was very nicely written. I liked her characterisation too - she was so caring even when "off duty". The ending bit was interesting, with her even saying it's not appropriate and then agreeing to stay the night. It was like finding solace just for one night and very plausible, especially since Charlie was intoxicated.

Over all, good job! You wrote the pairing in a very clean and realistic way and I didn't feel uncomfortable at all during the narrative though I certainly had been expecting to experience it. So, all in all, great job =) I loved reading it - so unique, creative and well-written!

Cheers,
AditiDraco95

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Review #6, by adluvshpGame On: A Pawn in a Game- HeyMrsPotter- Hufflepuff

6th July 2015:
Slytherin for the HC 2015.

I really liked it! It took me a bit but then I got it that it was Quirrel being talked about here. I think before he reached the stone.

His idea of being a pawn in the game was nicely done. The way you described the chessboard and the game was chilling in a sense.

I could visualise it all happening in front of me. The way Quirrell was connected to Voldemort was also interesting, feeling his emotions and stuff.

Your descriptions were brilliant. Like "He towers over you, a mountain next to an ant, able to squash you without a second thought. You shiver and he punishes you for your weakness; excruciating pain reaches your every nerve end and you want to cry out but it will only make the pain worse. Why canít you be strong for him?"

It shows how much he wanted to be "strong", to be rewarded by Voldemort. And that was interesting. And then the end was sad in a way - yes the chess was over but his task wasn't and he braced himself and I could feel his emotions then. It was all described in a very chilling way, so great job! And of course conveyed so much in 500 words, that's a feat!

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Review #7, by adluvshpGame On: Wotter Twister - UnluckyStar57 - Ravenclaw

6th July 2015:
Slytherin for the HC 2015.

Haha this was hilarious. I loved the idea of the Wotters playing Twister. James idea of revealing secrets was very good in the end.
Rose's secret of her dating Scorpius came out, woohoo. And Molly is a shoplifter. Wow, haha.

Your description of the game was clear and I could visualise the full scene so great job there. I enjoyed the little details that showed the relationship dynamics between the characters too like Fred and James and Molly and Rose and Hugo etc.

The things they had to do was brilliant like the Pygmy Puff impression or singing Celestine Warbeck's song.

All in all, it made for a very amusing read. Enjoyed your descriptions and dialogue. Good job!

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Review #8, by adluvshpGame On: You Are - Dojh167 - Hufflepuff

6th July 2015:
Slytherin House Cup 2015.

Ooh this was very interesting. I liked how you showed this side to Ginny's personality - her thinking that she's always been comfortable around men.

It make sense. She's grown up with six brothers and stuff. So her conquering this demon of being comfortable around women, of playing on an all-girls team, is very well described.

I liked the way she is giving a pep talk to herself. I could feel her emotions coming through, from nervousness to fear to worry to determination. You portrayed it all very well.

The concept of this was great and I liked how this is another "war" for her to conquer. A small victory, another step in life, a step closer to her dream. All in all, great job!

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Review #9, by adluvshpGame On: Volume II: Broom Race; Heart Races Faster - Freda&Georgina - Hufflepuff

6th July 2015:
Slytherin House Cup 2015

Aww, I really liked this. It started off with Roxy playing broom racing internationals and that was great. But the ending bit was my favourite with her being proposed to and she saying yes. She did get a "gold" today. I totally got what she meant even if her boyfriend didn't haha.

I enjoyed your descriptions here immensely. The whole feeling of flying was described wonderfully. Your choice of words to describe Roxy's emotions were great too, like her heart beating faster and stuff.

It was good to see how down-to-earth she was. She wasn't sad about not winning gold but happy about winning bronze. It was also awesome that she was a record-breaker. The little details really made this work even more and I loved it! Great job!

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Review #10, by adluvshpGame On: Volume II: Envy - BookDinosaur - Ravencalw

6th July 2015:
Slytherin for the HC 2015

Ah the famous Draco-Harry rivalry. I liked how the focus of this fic was particularly on how Draco felt angry at Harry for getting into the Quidditch team.

It was interesting to see an insight into Draco's mind - the idea that to him it was alright to trouble neville. It was "fair game".

I also liked how Draco had initially refused Lucius' offer to buy the brooms for the team, and had later relented. It showed a distinctness in his personality.

It was also interesting that Draco was genuinely practicing. He really wanted to outshine Harry and he was giving it his all.

Your portrayal of him overall was very good and I liked this insight into his mind. You captured his emotions very well. Good job!

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Review #11, by adluvshpGame On: Volume II: Wizardís Chess - Unluckystar57 - Ravenclaw

6th July 2015:
Slytherin for HC 2015.

Haha omg I loved it. Another amusing little piece by you! The idea of Rose being so terrifying is amazing - I think if Ron and Hermione's personalities were combined, she could turn out like that with Hermione's temper and Ron's competitiveness and little of her own flair.

I loved the sorting you did here. Rose a Slytherin and Scorpius a Puff. Teddy being scared of Rose, of doing this whole chess olympics thing to have her pleased, complimenting her the way he did, was all too cute and funny. And adorable.

The ending bit was hilarious with Teddy winning and being afraid of Rose's wrath. I wish we'd seen what she'd have done to him.

All in all, great descriptions, amazing dialogue and lovely concept! I had an awesome time reading this! A very innovative fic indeed!

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Review #12, by adluvshpGame On: Volume II: Haunting Hide-and-Seek - UnluckyStar57 - Ravenclaw

6th July 2015:
Slytherin for the HC 2015.

Omg this was so adorable I can't even!! Wow just wow!! I could visualise it all - the little thestral and the game of hide and seek and the way you were telling the story, it was all just so cute. I wanted to hug the little thestral and cuddle the way I cuddle my cat xD

The idea of thestrals not being able to see other thestrals when they're first born is very interesting! I also like your concept of them being able to see their mothers and then slowly others de-invisible-izing.

And what better way to do it than hide and seek? haha, fun indeed.

The way little Mort was a thestral-thestral was awesome and how he totally enjoyed finding out his family and playing the game.

Great idea and lovely characters! Loved it!

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Review #13, by adluvshpGame On: Volume II: Sheís a Natural- ScoroseOTP- Hufflepuff

6th July 2015:
Slytherin for the HC 2015.

This was very good, I loved it! Your characterisation of Ron is perfect and I loved the idea of little Rose already being so good at Chess.

It is also just like Hermione to consider the game "violent" for a five year old.

The way Rose described: Her little Chessmen and lady, Mrs Queen, Mr King, Mr Rook, Mr Rook, Mr Bishop, Mr Bishop, Mr Knight, Mr Knight, Mr Pawn, Mr Pawn, Mr Pawn, Mr Pawn, Mr Pawn, Mr Pawn, Mr Pawn and Mr Pawn - was awesome. Exactly how I'd imagine a five year old mind to work.

Ginny's comment about having taken Rose shopping was amusing - Rose is already less about shopping and more about chess at this age so you can foresee her personality when she grows up. Haha, it was great.

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Review #14, by adluvshpGame On: Volume II: Charlie Weasley and the Dragon Races - MrsJaydeMalfoy - Hufflepuff

6th July 2015:
Slytherin Review for the House Cup 2015.

I loved this! I have written a Fic about Dragons and Charlie myself so I enjoyed reading your perspective of it. The idea of Dragon races is very interesting and I like how the Keepers care so much about their charges and want the animals to be happy.

The way you describe the game is very exciting and I wish we'd gotten to see the actual race as I'm sure your descriptions would have been marvellous then as they worked really well into the opening itself.

Your characterisation of Charlie was nicely done and I could get a good sense of his personality just from this brief insight into his life. His love for the dragons, his excitement, his energy was all nicely portrayed. I had a good time reading this!

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Review #15, by adluvshpGame On: Volume II: That Game Called Love - Freda&Georgina - Hufflepuff

6th July 2015:
Slytherin Review for the House Cup 2015.

Wow, this was a very interesting concept - abstract in a way - of love being a game. All this time I've been reading Fics about games/sports but this one was definitely unique. I like how you chose Andromeda as the MC here, I enjoy reading her.

Your portrayal of Andromeda was nicely done. Her worry, her confusion, her frustration at falling for Ted was very nicely done. I could feel her emotions. I also liked that she and Molly were on good terms. The idea of Molly thinking about Ted in a romantic way is quite amusing but I'm glad nothing actually happened. The bit with the meatballs and Molly going back to Arthur was very sweet.

All in all, innovative, interesting and enjoyable read!

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Review #16, by adluvshpGame On: Volume II: Muggle Quidditch - Freda&Georgina - Hufflepuff

6th July 2015:
Slytherin Review for the House Cup 2015.

Ooh I loved how you gave a different spin to Quidditch here. I also liked your portrayal of Dominique - she's one of my favourite Next Gen characters and I write her a lot so I liked your take on her. It made sense that she'd want to practice for Quidditch from as young as her time as a First Year. And then she turned out so good, so I enjoyed the last line foreseeing her as Quidditch Captain.

The whole concept of the flying ribbons was creative and I could visualise the scene nicely. The little details such as a lock being there on the lockers and the kids coming up with ideas was all nicely done. The descriptions were good and dialogue well-balanced.

Good job!

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Review #17, by adluvshpGame On: Volume II: Ultimate Gobbstones - Freda&Georgina - Hufflepuff

6th July 2015:
Slytherin Review for the House Cup 2015.

This was a very fun read! What I liked most here was the idea of the "extravagant game". We've only seen Gobstones as a small game in the books, sometimes played, on a small scale, but it was refreshing to see it written here on a big scale in this form. I liked the dynamics between the characters too, such as Kenway and his sister, and Rose and her brothers etc.

The ending line was brilliant, no game could ever compare to Quidditch in the wizarding world hehe xD Your descriptions of the game were also very good - I could get a clear picture of what was going on. Roxanne making the winning shot for Albus' team and yet someone else getting the best overall prize made sense. And on, I enjoyed that Erine Macmillan was a professor and he was commentating!

Great job overall!

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Review #18, by adluvshpGame On: The Game of the Cat - Freda&Georgina - Hufflepuff

6th July 2015:
Slytherin Review for the House Cup 2015.

This was very very interesting! I loved how this is from Mrs Norris' POV. I don't think I've come across a story from her POV before. Her thoughts were very amusing to read. Simple and direct, like you'd expect a cat's thought process to be. Her fondness for Filch was apparent in her thoughts and I liked how she viciously enjoyed the game of "cat and rule breaker". You definitely gave a unique spin to the events in the books.

The way she was so perceptive was very interesting - like living for the faces they made when caught or enjoying the unreliability of their answers. The ending bit was the best - ah someone was invisible and to her it was a level up in the game. Definitely a superb concept and well-executed. I enjoyed this very much!

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Review #19, by adluvshpHC Event 3 - A as in Sexuality: Chapter One

28th June 2015:
Hey Liz!

Since you've reviewed for Slytherin for the HC, I thought I'd come by and leave you a complimentary thank you review =)

Ooh, I really liked this! You describe Dorcas' fears and nervousness very well. I like how she feels free after having come out to her friends and yet at the same time she wonders if things will change. It was sad that she didn't get accepted prior to Hogwarts but I liked the happy ending here and that she finally found good friends who didn't care about her sexuality =)

Great little one-shot! Enjoyed reading it!

Cheers,
AditiDraco95

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Review #20, by adluvshpDeceivingly Angelic: One

28th June 2015:
Hey Raisha!

Since you've reviewed for Slytherin for the HC, I thought I'd come by and leave you a complimentary thank you review =)

I really liked reading this! Your character Angel is very human and relatable. I like how she's in Ravenclaw and on talking terms with Luna. Her interaction with this "boy" is very intriguing. I wonder who he is and why is he so rude?

All in all, great start to the story! Cheers!

-AditiDraco95

Author's Response: You are so sweet! Than you so much!
It's been a while since I've looked at this story tbh but if I remember correctly it's someone who is just naturally rude! A certain Slytherin perhaps... o.o


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Review #21, by adluvshpSlowly Falling: Falling

28th June 2015:
Slytherin here for House Cup 2015.

This was lovely, just lovely! What a sweet little James/Lily story. I liked how this started off with Lily hurt over Severus' words, of her and James not being on good terms, and yet Severus' words are what brought them together in a way.

The gradual change in relationship between the two was very well-written. I loved the little scene with Remus, Peter and Sirius coming to "help" Lily and she smiling - it was a very adorable moment. And something I could see James doing.

The ending bit was the sweetest. The Astronomy tower setting was beautiful and the way James sneakily let them stay, and then their kiss - it was just magical. I was smiling while reading it.

Your descriptions and characterisation were brilliant! I enjoyed reading this =)

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Review #22, by adluvshpcrying lightning: Prologue: yesterday // let's head over to tomorrow

28th June 2015:
Slytherin here for House Cup 2015.

Wow, this was just beautiful! I loved your writing style here. The short, snappy paragraphs, the little brackets, the overall tone of the writing, worked very well. The theme was very interesting and was definitely powerful.

I liked how you didn't take any names here yet we could guess who the characters are, sort of. There is a certain intrigue surrounding the narrative at the same time and that was perfect.

Your imagery and descriptions were just marvellous. In 500 words, you expressed so much. And the whole connection with the game was very creatively done.

I especially loved the part about the firsts - the first murder, the first curse. That was some beautiful writing and clever thinking.

Really, I am speechless. Amazing little one-shot! Loved it!

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Review #23, by adluvshpHamartia: one.

28th June 2015:
Slytherin here for House Cup 2015.

This is a very interesting start to the story! I like how it's from the POV of a new Slytherin character, someone who is "willing" to be on the "dark" side, as it's a fresh perspective.

Your descriptions were simply amazing, and some bits really stood out to me like "(I learned this, too, was out of necessity, because of the sheer venom directed at us from self-righteous Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs with points to prove, and that Slytherinís caustic reputation was self-defence)." and "I didnít learn her name for another two years, but when I did Ė Athena Selwyn Ė I knew she would be my downfall."

Your characterisation was very good and I am instantly intrigued by her personality as well as somewhat connected. Her hiding her parentage, experience of being into Slytherin, meeting Athena, falling for her - it is all described very well. I am in love with the narrative and the writing style, it flows beautifully.

All in all, such a lovely start to the story! I'd love to read more. Great job!

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Review #24, by adluvshpAll Existing Matter: Chapter One

28th June 2015:
Slytherin here for House Cup 2015.

This is amazing, pure amazingness. Wow, what an ingenious idea to combine magic with science! I love how you've introduced the concept of MASA and of everything being top secret. It is plausible that with the help of magic they can reach another planet within 3 months.

Rose's characterisation is very nicely done. Her nervousness, fear, thrill, it all comes through wonderfully and I can connect with her quickly. It's interesting that she's a botanist - that's a profession I've seen her in for the first time in FF.

The entire scene on the planet was very well-written. I enjoyed how Rose was thrilled by the new planet, how she was immersed in finding the plants. And then BAM, the mud, the shaking of the ship, and they left her. That was terrible, ghosh, what an awful crew. I am very intrigued to know what will happen to Rose now. Is she going to meet ET life? How's she going to survive without magic? Very interesting and I really want to read more!

Pleasure to have stopped by!

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Review #25, by adluvshpRoses: Roses

28th June 2015:
Slytherin here for House Cup 2015.

Wow, this was beautiful, and also very sad, because the ending. Cries =(

What I loved about this was the recurring theme of the white roses. It was sweet how it started off with Harry visiting his parent's graves with his family and leaving the white roses then ventured into the past with Lily doing the same for her grandma.

It was adorable how James sort of got under her skin, giving her white roses every so often and slowly getting her to warm up to him. Lily's thoughts on that were fun tor read.

I was shocked when the bit about the journal came out but then it was cute how James asked her to marry him and everything worked out.

The wedding and the events following that were nicely written - it was an interesting sign that peter brought black roses. And then the ending with the roses wilting and there being black roses. That was the saddest.

Such a lovely little one-shot with great descriptions. I really liked it!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for stopping by ♥ I'm really glad other people enjoy this's story as much as I enjoyed writing it.

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