Reading Reviews From Member: adluvshp
  
1,649 Reviews Found

Review #1, by adluvshpExceptional: Real Sisters

13th April 2014:
Hello! Here for Snake review tag!

Aw this was such an adorable little one-shot. Sure it was angsty and stuff but it made me smile in the end. I love stories that revolve around siblings. I have a sister too and the dynamic between my sister and I was somewhat similar to this up to a couple years ago (though I was the Molly in the situation with my sister thinking I am "perfect"), and I could really relate to this. I think you presented the entire situation in a realistic manner, and I loved the positive note this ended on too.

Lucy's characterisation was very interesting. I liked how you played the whole part of Percy having so many expectations from his daughters because I can actually imagine him being that way, and how it would make poor Lucy feel. I also liked the whole concept of females and envy, but it was sweet how in the end she could feel like a sister with Molly and realise what she wants to do too.

All in all, this made for a very nice read and I really liked it. I think you fulfilled the challenge part of it perfectly and the entire plot idea was brilliant. Very well written, great job!

10/10
Cheers
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Aw, hi! And thank you! I know I can't not write angst for some reason, but I'm glad that you liked it by the end. And I'm so happy people love the sibling bit and relate to it so well because I've never really had such an experience (I have a brother and while we are either hating each other or tolerating each other, there was never really a rivalry or jealousy, if you know what I mean. Such a thing is probably more common in same-sex siblings, I will stop rambling now.)

Anyhow, I'm glad you like Lucy and my portrayal of her and Percy, and Molly's inclusion at the end. Thank you so much for the review. I'll probably be repaying the favor soon, whether it's in the review tag or just for fun, because I see you have new stories I have not checked out yet and I love your stories.

Thanks again!
EE16


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Review #2, by adluvshpJust One Yesterday: The Mighty Fall

12th April 2014:
Hello! Here for review tag!

I am not much of a slash person but I'm trying to get out of my comfort zone and start reading things I'm not into so here I am.

I liked your introductory chapter and how it introduced us to the two main characters. Your descriptions were detailed and helped set the premise of the story. Your characterisations of both Daniel and Rodolphus were interesting. I also like how Daniel is in Hufflepuff instead of Gryffindor as that avoids the Gryffindor/Slytherin cliche.

For CC I'd just say that the narrative got slightly confusing in the middle due to the switch of POVs back and forth. I'd suggest trying to make it clearer, and only performing the switch once in every chapter to minimise the confusion of the readers.

Apart from that, this is a good start. Wish you luck for the rest of the story. Keep writing!

Author's Response: Nice to see you here and it is a struggle sometimes to get out of the comfort zone so nice to see you're doing that as well.

Being in Hufflepuff does make it a little more interesting I think, and these are our two RP characters so I didn't even pick his house, but he wouldn't have been a Gryffindor anyway so that's no bother. Haha xD

Yeah the POV was something we are trying to fix though I feel we kind of just gave up a little. Never done a collab before so we are trying to find the best way to write it and so hopefully future chapters will be a lot less confusing. Thanks for stopping by though!


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Review #3, by adluvshpConfused Reality: Terrors

6th April 2014:
Here for review tag!

This was a very interesting piece of writing. I loved your take on Frank and Alice, it was quite unique and very engaging. I liked the idea of Alice having night terrors, of Lily wanting to help her, and of Frank finding them one night, helping out Alice and then getting to know her.

Your narrative was well-written and I really enjoyed reading this. The ending put a smile on my face. The characterisations were great and the read smooth. Good work!

Cheers,
AD!

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Review #4, by adluvshpAshes in the Wind: Prologue

6th April 2014:
Hello! Here for your requested review from the forums. Apologies for the delay!

This was an interesting chapter. I like your plot of Mae having no memories and how you've focused on it from the first chapter itself. It sets a premise for the rest of the story and creates an intriguing and suspenseful tone which I like. The theme definitely kept me interested and then the way your narrative unfolded also held my interest, so good going there.

Your descriptions are also good, giving brief insight into Mae's mind and slowly revealing to the readers her 'backstory'. I also enjoyed the description of the woman and the ending interaction as it was also presented very mysteriously which I really liked. The CC I'd give you here is to perhaps add in some more description of the setting and the people - not directly but indirectly - of how Mae looks, of how her family looks, how her surroundings appear to be so we can visualise it all. Don't make it to the point that it becomes bland but you can mix it in with her thoughts and the dialogue/narrative. That is only a suggestion as I think it would be a nice touch, especially for a prologue =)

The grammar over all was fine. There were a few small errors here and there, for instance one place where Mae was referred to as "he" instead of "she" but nothing too major. I think you can fix them with a thorough re-read. Besides that, this flowed smoothly and made for an engaging read.

The only other CC, if you can call it that, I'd give you is to adjust the formatting, particularly the spacing of this chapter, as it is too far spaced and provides slight discomfort while reading.

Apart from that, this is all good and I quite like it. Your story seems refreshing and interesting, and I'd like to read more of Mae and how her story unfolds. Good job!

Cheers
AD
(AditiDraco95)

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Review #5, by adluvshpThe Deathly Children: A Funeral

2nd April 2014:
Hey Nicole =)

Here for the TGS review exchange!

I skimmed through this chapter once before but didn't get time to properly read and review it. So, I'm glad I got that chance today as this was really a very well-written chapter and the story seems amazing!

I loved the letter in the beginning. I think it set the perfect tone for the story. Grindelwald's "style' of writing was also interesting and quite impressive, and essentially how I'd imagine him to speak/write. The way he addresses Albus and appears to know him so well and the way he comments on certain things about him, it was very unsettling and I worry for Albus now. This just shows the powerful writing it was!

Then, as we moved into the past - of the day of the funeral - we got an insight into Albus' mind which was pretty brilliant. I absolutely love your characterisation of him. I think a younger Dumbledore would have been a lot like that. The most interesting aspect of this segment was how Albus "mourned" the death of not just his mother - but his "life" as well. It told a lot about his personality and I found myself not being able to decide whether to sympathise with him or dislike him. At the same time, I also liked how concerned he was that the "family" shouldn't be tarnished - circulating a rumour etc. Bathilda's inclusion was also a nice touch to emphasise how much he disliked sympathy and how he suspected something to have gone awry - I just wanted to shout and say Bathilda's memory has been modified when that scene happened where she couldn't remember what she had to say but of course Albus couldn't have heard me.

I loved how you wrote Ariana as well. I can guess it would have been hard to characterise her as she has an unstable and almost naive mind and at the same time she is quite sharp (I think) but you nailed it. I adore her and enjoyed reading her thought process. It was interesting to see what she thought of her brothers and her mother. The last bit also made me slightly sad that she didn't know her mother was dead but at the same time she suspected something was wrong.

All in all, I think this was a beautiful chapter with great descriptions. I am eager to read more, and see more of Aberforth too. The plot is very intriguing and your writing quite powerful. I am already hooked to the story so I'll be returning (hopefully) soon to read on.

Great job =)
10/10
Cheers,
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Hey Aditi!

Thank you so much for such a lovely review! This was wonderful to receive, and thank you for all the lovely compliments!

Glad you like the starting letter, and how it seems to fit Grindelwald's voice. He does indeed know Albus very well, too well, in fact, and it's good to hear that this familiarity does carry through his words. Those two do indeed have a lot of history together.

Waaah, so flattered to hear your thoughts about young Albus! He's such a tricky character to write; I don't want him to be the same as the old Dumbledore, who's so very wise and all - I was aiming for a less perfect picture of him in his youth. One where he has flaws as the rest of us, where he doesn't hide himself so well, as he does when he's much much older. Albus in this fic does indeed exhibit a degree of self-absorption; but after all, he's still a teenager, barely an adult, and already he has the huge burden on his shoulders.

Albus is very perceptive, but not enough it seems!

As for Ariana, I wanted her to be sharper than how she's usually portrayed in fic. Not so sweet, but self-aware and fairly lucid. Things will get a little strange with her, though. She's my favourite character to write!

Thank you so much for your wonderful comments, AD! This review really made my day! ♥

teh


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Review #6, by adluvshpBeginning of the End: Never Let Go

21st March 2014:
Hey! Here for your requested review from the forums!

Wow, this was AMAZING. I love love loved it! Excuse the repetition of the word 'love' but I really did love this. It was beautifully written and my heart went out to Lavender and I just had so many feels omg. asdfghjl;

I can't believe this is out of your comfort zone because this flowed so smoothly and came across so well. The second person was also done nicely and didn't feel stunted at all. In fact, it worked very well with the portrayal of Lavender here and the entire plot as well as setting.

The over all plot of course was absolutely tragic and sad and extremely well-conceptualised. I loved the idea of Lavender not being able to deal with her werewolf bite and the scars on her face, of Oliver loving her so much, and omg the end which totally broke my heart - she committed suicide and she took Oliver with her NO!! And that too when she just realised it was such a bad idea!! No just no. *cries a bucket*

Characterisation of course was brilliant. The way you wrote Lavender was P-E-R-F-E-C-T. Like literally. If I ever to put her in a situation like this, I'd exactly imagine her to act this way. You really got her and wrote her emotions very well. From the start to the end I was captivated and hooked, and felt for her and just wanted to hug her. Really, great characterisation!!

Over all, this was a very nice and touching one-shot and I really liked it. You have great talent =)

--AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Aditi! Thank you so much! This review was such a lovely surprise since I didn't expect so many compliments! I can't believe I'm getting such a response. I was incredibly anxious when I put this up because I've never written something like this before and I'm so glad that I did! This review has just motivated me so much!

I love love love your repetitive use of love. :D How could I not? This is one of the best reviews I've received so far, and it's made my week! Thank you so much! *hugs*

Yayayayay! I'm dancing around the room like a mad woman. :D

Thank you so much, Aditi! This was such a descriptive, lovely review, and I'll never get tired of reading it. :) *gives you cookies*

On a side note, it's nice to find yet another person from India. :)

Thank you once again! I'll surely be coming back to request another review from you soon! PM me if you want to talk some time! :D

~Erin


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Review #7, by adluvshpRabbit Heart: Distant Hearts

21st March 2014:
Hey again! I am super glad you re-requested because the story just got creepier and I am enjoying it even more (because apparently I am creepy too as I like creepy stuff) xP

First off, I love how Wren's friends know her so well. The gifts were exactly right for her =) Albus' present was of course the best and I am totally rooting for Wrenbus to happen soon xD The way she was "staring" at him through the lens was too adorable. I enjoyed James' little quip too haha. He knows what's up for sure between the two lol.

But omg, after that I went from smiling to worried. James got a bunny for Albus! That can't be good, no no. The bunny is already affecting Wren weirdly and now Albus is going to be affected by the rabbit too and gah NO! What's up with Dillon and his rabbits, like please just shoo them away and stop giving them off to Wren & her friends!!

Okay rant over. But seriously, these rabbits... *shudder*

Oh and by the way, I love the little touches of mystery you put here and there. For instance, the time lapse sounded mysterious. And the way the bunny "takes over" Wren's mind. And Dillon's intentions of course. And the headaches omg. This is all so creepy and weird and gah I love it.

All in all, awesome chapter! I loved it and I am eager to read more so I'll be back soon! Adding the story to my favourites xD

As for CC, again I have none to offer you (yes I am easy to please)!! Great going! Feel more than free to re-request!

Cheers
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response:

Hey again!

I was just about to re-request, but then I remembered I hadn't responded to your awesome review! Sorry about jumping the gun like that! I am so happy you like the creepy stuff, because I am in love with the concept of Bunny and there's more to come!

For all that James is, he's definitely figured out that there's a "thing" between Wren and Albus. Except he's too "James" to be helpful about it. *shrug*

Rabbits! They're everywhere. Seriously. It makes it more fun that way, yeah?

Thanks again for another fun review! I know you'll tell me if things get "too" crazy, or too confusing. Sometimes I feel like the plot has gotten a bit too thick in the middle. haha!

-Pix


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Review #8, by adluvshpHerbology and Hearts (Speed dating entry): Herbology and Hearts

21st March 2014:
Hello! Here for your requested review from the forums =)

This was a very sweet and adorable little one-shot. I enjoyed your characterisation of Lysander and Lily. Lysander was really cute and it was obvious how much he liked Lily which made me smile. Lily's reactions on being asked out by him was also adorable. I liked how neither of theme wanted to go to Madam Puddifoots.

The inclusion of Lorcan and Dom was also a nice touch. It was nice how Lysander defended his brother and asked Dom to give him another chance. The ending was my favourite part. The way Lily and Lysander came together was just so adorable and the kiss made me smile.

Honestly, I quite liked this and don't have any CC to offer you. Good job!

Cheers,
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Hi Angie! Thanks for responding to my request :D

I'm really glad you liked Lysander and Lily, I think the great thing about next gen is that we can give the characters any personality they want. I had fun with Lysander especially :D

The Lorcan/Dom side of it was a great idea by my speed dating partner, Janelle, and worked well as a way of showing how different the twins were.

I'm so pleased you liked it, thanks for the lovely review!


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Review #9, by adluvshpBe With You: Be With You

17th March 2014:
Blackout Battle 10/10

This was pretty awesome! Your characterisation of Remus was spot on. It was very realistic how he felt like his friends would stay friends with him after knowing the secret.
The discussion between the marauders about being animagi was also very interesting and I liked how you wrote it.
The ending was also awesome. It was hopeful and sweet and I felt for Remus. It made me smile. He did have the best bunch of friends after all.
Your writing flowed smoothly and your descriptions were pretty good. I didn't see any major grammar errors either. Your dialogue was fun to read too and you depicted the marauders the way I'd imagine them.

Good work!
--AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Thank you so much!
I am so glad you liked it.
The Marauders have always been my favorite characters. I hope to write more stories about them!


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Review #10, by adluvshpMudblood: Scars

17th March 2014:
Blackout Battle 9/10

Aw, this was sad but beautiful. I liked how you wrote Hermione. It made sense that she "couldn't let go" of the mudblood scar. It was also understandable that Ron just couldn't get it and wanted her to let it go. However, I am glad he decided to accept her with it either way (though I am not a Ron/Hermione shipper) in the end.

Hermione's pain was well written too. It was depicted in a realistic way and not too overdone. It was also awesome how Hermione regarded the scar as a souvenir, as a mark of their survival. It was very powerful and effective.

All in all, this was beautifully written. The plot concept itself was brilliant as I never gave much thought to the "mudblood" scar but you've captured what it'd have meant to Hermione very well here. Great job!

--AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Thank you! I wanted to write it because I realised that there wasn't much of a thing about her torture in the aftermath of it, and it seemed sort of wrong to just let it go. Thanks for the lovely review- I'm glad you liked it! :)

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Review #11, by adluvshpPurple Houses: One

17th March 2014:
Blackout battle 8/10

Aw this was a very sweet and sad little one-shot. I love that you wrote this about Sybill Trelawney. She is such a minor character and I enjoyed your insight into what her childhood and years at Hogwarts would have been like.

The whole concept of the purple houses was very sweet. I also liked how you wrote her relationship with her Nanny. I felt for Sybill deeply when her Nanny died. I also liked how you wrote Sybill's growing passion for Divination and how she convinced herself that she was a Seer too.

The way the ending was similar to the beginning, despite the passing of so many years and even the war, it was really a very sweet touch. All in all, I quite liked this. Good job =)

--AD
(AditiDraco95)

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Review #12, by adluvshpFairy Dust: Time to be Brave

17th March 2014:
Blackout battle 7/10

Hey there. This was absolutely beautiful and really very adorable. Your characterisation of Lily was very sweet and I liked her. It was interesting how she realised she loved James. I particularly loved the interaction between her and James' mother.

Your depiction of James was also very nice. I especially enjoyed the dialogue between James and Lily. His love for her was very evident. It was also nice that Sirius was present too as it added more reality to the situation.

Your descriptions were very good too. I loved the way Lily thought of James, especially towards the end. This entire story was really very well done and it made me smile.

The only little CC I've to offer is that you switch tenses in between the fic somewhere and it is a little disconcerting. It would be better to have one tense (either past or present) consistent throughout the narrative. Also, there were minor grammar errors but they can be fixed too =)

Good job otherwise, I liked it.

--AD
(AditiDraco95)

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Review #13, by adluvshpSmoke: Part 1

17th March 2014:
Blackout battle 6/10

Hello! I think this was a very good insight into the night James and Lily Potter died. I loved your portrayal of James and Lily. Their love for each other and particularly Harry was so evident.

I also liked how you started this with the scene showing how normal that night was. The terror that James suddenly felt when things abruptly changed thanks to Voldemort's arrival was very well described.

Lily's fear and determination to fight for Harry's sake was also spot on. I think you wrote her last moments very well. Her quick thoughts on Peter were also understandable.

All in all, I think you did a very good job of writing this and I liked reading it.

Cheers,
AD
(AditiDraco95)

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Review #14, by adluvshpLet It Rain: Let it Rain

17th March 2014:
Blackout Battle 5/10

Hello. I really liked this! Your portrayal of Regulus was interesting and pretty much how I'd imagine him. The description of the rain and the settings was very beautifully done.

I also liked the girl. It was intriguing how we didn't know her identity even until the end. Regulus and her interaction was also very adorable and cute.

The only CC I have to offer its to watch out for your punctuation. There were a few missing commas here and there, especially at the end of dialogues.

Besides that, I think this was a very well-written piece and I enjoyed reading this a lot. Your descriptions were my favourite part for the story. Good work =)

Cheers,
AD
(AditiDraco95)

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Review #15, by adluvshpEndurance: Endurance

17th March 2014:
Blackout Battle 4/10

This was a very different and interesting one-shot. I liked the idea of having Katie Bell and McLaggen together.

I enjoyed your writing style and narrative. It was quite engaging and made for a smooth read. The dialogue was also quirky and appealing.

The ending was also quite sweet and made me smile. The only CC I'd give is to perhaps include a bit more description along with the dialogue. It will add more colour to the scene if their thoughts and actions are expressed in the narrative along with the dialogue.

Apart from that, this was quite good. I liked your characterisation of Katie and Cormac. This flowed well and it was a refreshing read. Good job!

--AD
(AditiDraco95)

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Review #16, by adluvshpThere all along: Always there

17th March 2014:
Blackout Battle 3/10

Aw, this was a very sweet and touching piece of writing. I am not a huge fan of Fred/Hermione but you made it seem very beautiful here in the AU world where Harry, Ron and Ginny were all lost in the war.

Hermione's pain was also very well written. It was believable and understandable, and I could connect with her. I felt for her and wanted to cry with her. I also liked the way Fred comforted her. It was very sweet and I am glad she had him by her side.

The plot was also good with them going away for a while after the war. Anyone would want to get away from all the pain and memories. The ending was especially sweet with how Fred proposed to her and they got married, and Hermione visiting her best friends' graves on her wedding day.

The only CC I'd give you is to work on your grammar a little bit. There are a few mistakes here and there but nothing that can't be fixed. Also, I'd suggest putting a line break between the "I promise I'm going to keep you safe" sentence and the one after that to signify that it's a different scene - that it has taken an year's leap.

Apart from that, this was a nice story and I liked reading it. Good work =)

--AD
(AditiDraco95)

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Review #17, by adluvshpSoul Mates...: Soul Mates

17th March 2014:
Blackout Battle 2/10

Hello. I liked your plot as it is something different. The idea of Dumbledore showing Hermione and Draco the memory is also interesting.

However, the story definitely has some room for improvement.
If you don't mind some CC, I'd suggest you get a beta to proof read this and help you smooth it over. The writing style for instance is too straightforward with only dialogues. It could do much better with more description of the surroundings, the characters' thoughts and actions. The grammar and sentence phrasing is also off in many places so once again I'd suggest a beta to help you out with that. Over all, this is a very "informal" way of writing and doesn't provide much backstory either.

All that aside, this surely can be improved. As I said, your plot idea is good and the "surprise" bit at the end was especially interesting. It made for a quick and nice read. I hope I didn't come across as too harsh, I only want to help =)

Keep writing and good luck for future works.

--AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Nah that's cool. Yea, um I'm kind of a pretty blunt person so even in writing I quite straight forward. But thanks!!! :)


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Review #18, by adluvshpRomantic Flight: Romantic Flight

17th March 2014:
Blackout Battle 1/10

Hello! This was a sweet little one-shot. I liked how you picked Freddie as the main character here which is seldom seen in next-gen fics. I also enjoyed your characterisation of the girl, Madeline.

The narrative was realistic as her thoughts were quite accurate for someone going on a first date. The nervousness, tension, and that coupled with her fear of flying, was very nicely expressed.

I really enjoyed your descriptions of the scenery around them when they were flying too. The imagery of the horizon and of the sun was particularly beautiful and I could almost visualise it. The ending was also very sweet with Madeline realising that Freddie could show her everything in the world and that she wasn't afraid of flying anymore with him by her side.

It was all very adorable and I really liked it. Good job =)

Cheers,
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for choosing to review my story! I'm glad you liked it (I really wasn't sure if I liked it or not). I wanted to choose someone different, and I felt like Freddie was the best choice. I'm glad you liked them :)

I'm flattered that you liked the way I wrote it, and the descriptions of the scenery. That was probably the hardest part to write because I had this specific image in my head but I didn't want to be too repetitive.

I'm so glad you liked it, and thanks so much for R&Ring

xoxo Sarah


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Review #19, by adluvshpWithering: Withering

14th March 2014:
Blackout Battle 20/20

First off, I loved the plot concept of this. Being trapped in your own house is kinda frustrating, and I loved how you used "withering" to describe James' and Lily's feelings in the beginning.

Your characterisation of James, Lily, and Sirius was also very nicely done. I think you really got them and wrote them as how they would have been in canon. The key "traits" of the three people were well maintained.

Your descriptions were also very detailed and I could really feel the emotions in the story. I especially loved the ending because it was so hopeful and sweet and made me smile.

All in all, this was a very beautifully written piece capturing a snippet of the Potters' lives and I think you did complete justice to the characters as well as the plot. Good job =)

Cheers,
AD
(AditiDraco95)

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Review #20, by adluvshpA Christmas Wish: A Christmas Wish

14th March 2014:
Blackout Battle 19/20

This was very sweet and nice. I really enjoyed the whole feel of Christmas that existed throughout. The plot itself was something new and fresh. I liked all the characters though they were people I didn't know about. There wasn't much backstory but at the same time I could connect with the characters on an emotional level.

All the descriptions were beautiful and I could imagine it all happening in front of my mind's eye. I also liked the little details, such as the small mention of George Weasley, which added a familiar touch to the story.

Good work. I quite liked it. It was sweet and simple =)

-AD
(AditiDraco95)

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Review #21, by adluvshpThe Unknown: 1

14th March 2014:
Blackout Battle 18/20

This was very, very well-written. It is impressive that you wrote this so quick! I'd have taken days to perfect such a thing haha!

I loved the plot as it was very interesting and appealing. Your writing style and narrative also flowed very well. I especially liked your descriptions as they really sucked me into the scene.

The ending was my favourite part as it was very powerful and intense. I also loved the anonymity of the characters here. It brought in a different kind of feel to the story. The beginning of each segment with the ages was also a nice touch. It kept the flow of the story going and gave us a small glimpse into the characters' life.

I didn't see any grammar errors, and I don't have any CC to give you. This was very beautifully written and I enjoyed it immensely. Great job!!

10/10
--AD
(AditiDraco95)

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Review #22, by adluvshpAmateurs: Prologue: Grabbing Attention

14th March 2014:
Blackout Battle 17/20

This was a very interesting start to your story and as a prologue it certainly grabbed attention xD

I like your characterisation of Lily here, it is somewhat how I'd imagine her to be. The idea of her being a detective is also amusing and I am curious to know more about this mighty fine mystery of hers. I enjoyed how she kept emphasising what a brilliant detective she was and how she singlehandedly solved the mystery - very amusing and intriguing. I also liked the little details that you provided such as why Harry did not help, and that Scorpius was involved.

I enjoyed your writing style as well as it's quirky and interactive. As a prologue, this definitely served to set the scene for the story and make me curious about the whole ordeal so I'd read on. It flowed well and I didn't spot any grammar errors either.

Good work =)
--AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for the review! And I apolgize for taking so long to answer.

I'm glad that it grabbed attention :D That's what I aimed for!

I'm hoping to make Lily an interesting narrator, and someone who's a bit quirky and weird, but also just a nineteen year old girl.

Thanks again! This was really nice :)

Sam


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Review #23, by adluvshpThe Door: Nursery Rhyme

14th March 2014:
Blackout Battle 16/20

Wow, this was very, very creepy. It almost gave me shivers. The nursery rhyme part was especially super haunting and it got my heart beating fast.

I absolutely loved your plot idea of this. It was interesting how Draco's non-existence changed the fate of the wizarding world. That was my favourite bit of the story really.

The whole mystery about the door was also nicely written and had me curious about it in the beginning. Scorpius' dream was also very powerful and added more to the air of suspense and foreboding.

The events in the end were kinda shocking though and I felt pity for poor Draco. The "thing" that caused it all was the creepiest of all and I just hope it doesn't haunt me in my dreams tonight haha.

All in all, this was a spectacular piece of writing. You really did justice to the theme and genre, and your descriptions were very captivating and vivid. Great work!

10/10
-AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Hi there!

Really? I'm glad you think so!

Thank you, and I'm glad you liked that bit. I reached that point and realised that actually, Draco has a huge part in the outcome of the war. There are other parts that I didn't mention (the Vanishing Cabinet for example) but Harry's death was the big one, I think.

Oh no, don't have nightmares! All you need to do is NOT go through any creepy doors and you'll be fine...or will you?

Haha.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

-Karou


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Review #24, by adluvshpNever Too Late: Never Too Late

14th March 2014:
Blackout Battle 15/20

First off, yes writing intense situations is hard but you totally pulled it off so don't feel so unsure of yourself. It wasn't poorly written and I quite liked it. In fact, the way you handled the sensitivity of this is commendable.

It was quite dark and deep, and very touching. I felt for Arianna and wanted to reach out to her. There was so much emotion in this and you really described it all very well. I also think that her situation was quite realistically portrayed. It was sad but I am glad James finally could help her. I was totally rooting for them and hoping for him to turn up before it's too late.

I also liked your writing style of showing us both perspectives, and the song lyrics were also nicely woven into the narrative making it more effective.

All in all, this was a very well-written piece and I really liked it. I am glad I got a chance to read this!

--AD
(AditiDraco95)

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Review #25, by adluvshpWhen I grow up, I will save the world: How to save the world

14th March 2014:
Blackout battle 14/20

Aw, this was such an adorable little piece. I absolutely loved your characterisation of Lavendar as a ten-year-old. Her thoughts were amusing and cute, and actually quite believable for a girl her age. I also enjoyed your narrative as you kept the consistency of the thoughts sounding like they came from a little girl and not a grown up. The last bit was my favourite as it just expressed her innocence more. The idea of Lavendar wanting to be Minister and change the world was too cute, and it also showed a glimpse of her Gryffindor traits - 'noble' thoughts and all xD

I noticed a few grammar/spelling errors in a few places, for example "dinner" was spelt "diner" so this could do with a re-read and quick fix. Apart from that, this really made for a fun little read and brought a smile to my face.

Good job =)
--AD
(AditiDraco95)

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