Reading Reviews From Member: adluvshp
  
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Review #1, by adluvshpRepentance: Grief

12th July 2014:
Yay you've updated! Oh dear things are just getting more intense. We finally 'meet' Rowle. And he has imperioused Slinky! Now that's not good at all. I am quite eager to know what happens next. This story is definitely getting darker. Great work!

Cheers,
AD

Author's Response: Chapter 16 was actually in the queue when you wrote your last review, I just didn't get chance to answer it in time for you to see!

I'm so glad you're enjoying Repentance so far, thank you as always :)

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Review #2, by adluvshpAll is NOT Fair in Love and War: |Draco's Intro| "This is My Story"

12th July 2014:
So I really like this opening chapter of Draco giving an introduction to his story. The way you've written his thoughts, it's like you're in his head. You seem to understand him quite well, and I like your portrayal of him.
I found that bit amusing about there being a lot of books about Harry and none about the people who helped him. Draco's reaction to that is nicely written and I'm glad he took matters into his own hands and decided to write something about himself (or get it written).

The part about Lucius made me feel sorry for Draco. His relationship with his father was anything but simple and loving. I also liked the whole contemplation about the concept of love. The way you wrote it again expressed Draco's thoughts perfectly, as that's how I'd imagine him to think about such things.

Great start to the story!

Cheers,
AD
(AditiDraco95)

House Cup 2014 Review.

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Review #3, by adluvshpEvent Three - Lament: A Giant and a Phoenix

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review.

This was surely a very interesting piece. The idea of Fawkes and Grawp being friends is something I never thought of, but now that you've written it, it looks so believable. I loved how you wrote Grawp's thoughts. I'd assume a Giant to be more 'stupid' but I think that is a stereotypical assumption, purely based on the fact that they can't speak human English. Their thoughts can be sharp and sensible and you showed that well. It was also kind of sad that poor Grawp was bullied and hurt, but I'm glad he met Fawkes and it helped him. The whole interaction between the two of them was really nice and sweet.

The descriptions were well-written and I quite liked reading this. It made me smile, and had a bittersweet kind of feel to it. It was surely a unique concept for the House Cup prompt, and you managed to justify it very well with your lovely writing. Good job!

Cheers,
AD
(AditiDraco95)

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Review #4, by adluvshpI am alpha: I am alpha

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review.

Wow, this was pretty good, and it almost gave me chills.

Your writing style is very interesting. It matches the theme of the story, and presents a haunting feel. I loved your characterisation of Fenrir, as the 'alpha' who kept turning more children to please 'his mistress'. The whole concept of the moon being his mistress was very unique and kind of creepy. Your descriptions were very beautiful and brought out some great imagery as well.

I'd just say that the flow was a little stunted because at times your phrases didn't come across as smooth. There were also some punctuation errors. I'd suggest giving this a thorough re-read, reading out loud, and trying to rephrase some sentences, as well as look over the punctuation.
Apart from that, this made for a great read and I really loved it. The plot especially was amazing, and your writing style accentuated it perfectly.

Good job!
-Cheers,
AD (AditiDraco95)

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Review #5, by adluvshpTrevor's Lost Again: Chapter 1

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review.

Hi there! This was a cute little one-shot. I enjoyed your characterisation of a young, nervous Neville.
The scenarios he though of, for why Dumbledore called him, made me chuckle.
Poor thing, he worries too much, but I'm glad things turned out fine in the end xD
I liked how you wrote Dumbledore too. His manner of speaking was nicely done.
For CC, I'd say that I'd have liked to see some more of description in the story rather than straight off thoughts and dialogues. The narrative would have been a lot more fun to read with some visualisation, by adding details about the surroundings, and about the events happening.
Besides that, this made for a nice read and I enjoyed it. The concept was cute and over all presentation was good.

Cheers
-AD

Author's Response: Thanks so much for your review! :)

This was actually my very first challenge piece so it was a change for me! I remember writing this in probably oh, maybe forty-five minutes before the deadline was due so I agree it lacks the description I normally have.

I'm glad you enjoyed my first-year Neville! He's not my usual character to write so it makes me happy you think I characterized him well! Thanks again! :)
~MadiMalfoy x


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Review #6, by adluvshpSybill The Seer: Sybill the Seer

11th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review.

Wow this was a really really haunting tale, despite being so short. The last bit, including the nightmare and the ending, literally gave me chills. You definitely achieved your purpose of producing a horror story here.

Your portrayal of Trelawney was also very good. It was interesting how her mind was focused on the fact that she is a gifted Seer as she died.

The little details included, such as Parvati writing a book regarding Divination, were also interesting.
I almost felt bad for Trelawney here, even though I never liked her much, so I'd certainly say you did a good job in writing this.

Your descriptions were perfect - nothing too detailed and nothing too minimal. The imagery presented was amazingly vivid.

All in all, this made for a chilling read and I loved it. Good job!

Cheers,
AD
(AditiDraco95)

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Review #7, by adluvshpEvent Three- Aperture: Focus and Exposure

11th July 2014:
Aw this was so sad and sweet at the same time.

I loved the whole concept of taking two minor characters and shedding some light on them and the way they deal with their 'adversaries'. The emotions of both Dennis and Romilda were presented beautifully, and I could really feel for them.

My favourite bit of the story was the memory of Colin that Dennis had - the 'time machine' moment particularly. It was also nice that at the end that Dennis found his silver lining with Romilda. It made me smile.

The over all dialogue and narrative of the story was nicely done, and I loved reading this. Great work!

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Review #8, by adluvshp(Event Three) Moony's Memories: One.

11th July 2014:
I loved, loved, loved this. Your descriptions were so beautiful, and the imagery you painted, especially in the beginning of the story, was amazing. The memory was a great way to start the story and made me smile. I really liked that it was one which Remus used to conjure his patronus. It is evident how much he loves his friends.

Your characterisation of Remus was just spot on, and the way you portrayed his inner thoughts and feelings was very beautiful and realistic. It was interesting and touching that in his last moments Remus thought of his friends, and he 'knew' that he would see them soon. It was also very sweet that his final thought was of Teddy, hoping that he would also have as good friends as his father.

Over all, the theme of this was really tragic but you depicted it in a way that it made me smile - it was sort of bittersweet - and I liked it. It made for a smooth nice read, so good job =)

House Cup 2014 Review.

Cheers
-AD
(AditiDraco95)

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Review #9, by adluvshpThe Brothers Three: The Pale Steed

11th July 2014:
This is getting even more interesting. It is strange that "Death" came out of the shadows to talk to Cadmus. Of course, it makes sense for it to ride thestrals. That is a very nice little detail that you've put there and I like it. It is also interesting how we get to see three of the brothers, so different in their characters, and yet still united by family. It is nice that they're ready to help each other.

Your descriptions were yet again beautiful. I especially like how this chapter is written years after the introduction, and you mention how the sins of the brothers have grown with time. It is all very unique and I really enjoyed reading that segment.

All in all, another well-written chapter. I am quite enjoying this story and I'd really like to see how it progresses, how the brothers 'apprehend' Death particularly, and your writing is very very good, so I'm going to add this to my favourites and follow it. Do update soon!

10/10

House Cup 2014 Review.

Cheers
-AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Yay! Even more interesting! Yes, yes, the thestrals! I didn't necessarily have that part planned, but it came out so well!

WHAT? Favorited!! OH MY GOSH YOU JUST MADE MY DAY!!!

I feel special. You are awesome. :hearts:


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Review #10, by adluvshpThe Brothers Three: Introduction

11th July 2014:
Hello there! This surely seems like an interesting story. I absolutely love your concept and I can tell your plot is something unique and intriguing. This first chapter definitely drew me in, and I loved the whole darkness that surrounded it. Beginning the story with "death" was complete genius. I also loved how you incorporated the Seven Deadly Sins, explaining each, and how they could all be found in the tavern. The characterisations of all three brothers looks fantastic as well, and I'm really excited to see how their relationships develop and the story progresses. I am curious to see what you have in store for each of them.

The descriptions were beautiful, and painted an amazing imagery in front of my eyes. Your writing style is brilliant and the flow is superb. I was captivated while reading. Over all, I think this is a great start to what seems like an amazing piece of writing. I'm glad I got a chance to read this!

House Cup 2014 Review.

Cheers
-AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: This is probably the most personified piece I've ever attempted to create, so the fact that you like the style and the deadly seven is really, really encouraging!

I love all three of the brothers in different ways. There certainly is a lot of progression and change I have planned, it'll be interesting to see how it all ends up.

Oh goodness, thank you so much for this wonderful review! This piece hasn't gotten too much attention, and I think it's rather good, so it's nice to know that someone agrees!


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Review #11, by adluvshpRepentance: The Truth

11th July 2014:
Hey again! Oops so I just realised that this story is still a WIP and hasn't been completed yet. No wonder this chapter ended like this.

Poor Draco, I feel really sad for him. The pain he went through here was very expressed really well. The moments he shared with Hermione were also very sweet, and I'm glad he was there to comfort her. Ron's, Harry's, and Ginny's reactions were all quite plausible. I also liked the little conversation that Draco shared with Ginny.

It is terrible that Hermione's parents died but at least it is clear that Rowle is after her for sure. I certainly hope he is caught soon. Meanwhile, Pansy (and I think Ginny too) has recognised Draco's feelings for Hermione. I hope Hermione also feels something for him, and some romance blossoms between the two soon. It will be a nice change to lightness among all the darkness that has been going on in their lives.

All in all, this was a beautiful story so far and I hope you update soon with the next chapter. I really want to see this through to the end. Keep writing!

10/10
-Cheers, AD
House Cup 2014 Review.

Author's Response: Hello!

Haha I thought so, I was worried that I'd accidentally put that it was completed!

Draco's feelings are going to be put on hold for a while, and the next few chapters should shed some light on that for you,

Thank you so much, I'm glad you're enjoying it and I hope you continue to read as I update :)

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Review #12, by adluvshpRepentance: Together Again

11th July 2014:
Oh no no no! Hermione's parents can't be dead, no that is just cruel =( I feel so bad for Hermione now, I don't know how she'll deal with this. I hope the blame doesn't fall on Draco or Blaise for some reason, and that Draco is able to comfort her. I see the next chapter is the last so I sincerely hope things fall into place.

This was a nice chapter with Ron coming back. Lots of shockers obviously, especially with him seeing Draco and Hermione like that. His reaction was expected. I also liked the inclusion of Molly and Ginny here. You portrayed both of them nicely.

The dialogues and narrative were quite well-written and the whole piece flowed smoothly. I was completely absorbed while reading and I'm very intrigued to know how things turn out further. This is a great story so I hope the ending does justice to it.

Good work.

House Cup 2014 Review
-Cheers, AD

Author's Response: I know, I'm sorry :( It was awful to write that but it's the only way everyone can understand that Rowle is serious about finding Hermione again.

Thank you again,

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Review #13, by adluvshpRepentance: Dinner

11th July 2014:
This was a beautiful chapter with some beautiful scenes. I especially loved the last scene between Draco and Hermione. There was a peace about the scene and it was awesome. The imagery of the location was also amazing. I also loved the whole dinner interaction. It was nice to see all of them getting along. It is also a good decision on Hermione's part to tell Harry and Ron. Speaking of Ron, it was good to see him included in the beginning of the chapter. It also makes sense that he has found a girl, so there'll be no 'romantic' complications between him and Hermione. I wonder how Harry, Ron, and Ginny will react to the news of what happened to hermione and her living with Draco though. That scene is bound to be interesting.

I am a little sad to see that there are only two chapters left for the story so I hope some real romance happens between Draco/Hermione in the next chapter, we get to see some 'action' so to speak, and also that the plot wraps up nicely with Rowle getting caught.

House Cup 2014 Review
-Cheers, AD

Author's Response: The cottage scene was again one of my favourites and is actually based on a place in I like to go on holiday every year, it really is beautiful :)

More from Ron to come!

Thank you,

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Review #14, by adluvshpRepentance: Memories

11th July 2014:
Finally Hermione knows the truth that Blaise and Pansy know, that is good. The memory of Draco was very haunting and it gave me chills. I felt for him really strongly when I read the flashback. It made sense that Hermione reacted the way she did in the beginning, but after the memory, I could understand the change in her.

The hug between her and Draco was quite sweet too, and I'm glad things are clear between them now. I enjoyed the interaction between her and Draco towards the end as it brought them closer. I also liked the interaction between Blaise and Pansy in the beginning. Your characterisations are over all quite strong and I'm glad things are slowly starting to fall into place.

Good work as ever.

House Cup 2014 Review
-Cheers, AD

Author's Response: Thank you for your lovely words, as ever!

Hoping you continue to enjoy the story,

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Review #15, by adluvshpRepentance: Snooping

11th July 2014:
Oh no Rowle might be after Hermione's parents, now that's bad. I surely hope they're okay. The little spat between Hermione and Draco in this chapter was quite real also, and I liked that. It was also nice that they 'made up' after that too, and didn't hold grudges. The revelation that Hermione does trust Draco was also good, and I can see definite progress in their relationship. The beginning section with Draco "peeping" on Hermione made me giggle a bit. It's not that surprising that Hermione hasn't let a man get intimate with her, apart from Rowle's forcing, so I wonder if Draco and her will get there, and if so how.

So far, I'm really enjoying the story. I hope they catch Rowle soon, and that her relationship with Draco progresses well. Oh and I also liked the inclusion of Harry/Ginny in the beginning, to show their side of things. And I'm also curious about Draco's patronus form.

Good work as always,

House Cup 2014 Review.
Cheers,
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Ahhh, I know! I do feel awful for it but Rowle is cunning and was bound to go after them eventually.

More about Draco's patronus will follow in later chapters :)

Thank you!

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Review #16, by adluvshpRepentance: A Blossoming Friendship?

11th July 2014:
Hello again! I am glad you're portraying Pansy and Blaise in a positive light here. It's a fresh change from the way they, especially Pansy, is usually depicted in fan fiction. It does make sense that if Draco has 'grown up', then so would Pansy. The interaction between her and Hermione was also very nice and it brought a smile to my face. I am glad Hermione is feeling more 'at home' around Draco and his friends. The ending scene was also well-written as it provided a perspective of Pansy and Blaise. It is also believable that Blaise is not willing to let go so quickly of the past, but its nice that Pansy has cleared his doubts away.

The revelation that Draco was under a body bind curse when the whole ordeal with Rowle happened was quite shocking and interesting. The way you wrote it was also realistic. I like the blossoming closeness between him and Hermione and I hope it turns into something more soon, and that Rowle is caught.

Great chapter as ever.

House Cup 2014 Review.

Cheers
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Thank you for another great review :)

Pansy and Blaise will more or less be main characters throughout the story so I'm glad you like the characterization of them :)

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Review #17, by adluvshpRepentance: An Interesting Read

11th July 2014:
The relationship between Hermione and Draco is changing for the better, and I like that. It's cute that he got her some dresses and new clothes etc. 'for a change'. It's also sweet that slowly Hermione is trying to fix herself and feel better about things.

The diary entries were written really well and showed the torment Draco went through for not being able to help her. It was interesting that Hermione saw it, now she knows how he feels. Her reaction was also expected, with the tears and all. It was kind of Draco to not intrude. Their friendship is surely growing.

I am looking forward to Blaise and Pansy's visit and interaction with Hermione. The story is progressing nicely.

House Cup 2014 Review.

Cheers
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: I'm glad you're still enjoying it! The diary scene was one of my favourites to write :)

Thank you!

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Review #18, by adluvshpRepentance: Missing Things

11th July 2014:
I enjoyed this chapter as well. I am glad Hermione and Draco are getting warmer with each other now. Hermione's reaction to the library was quite adorable. It's interesting how they've both taken days off work, and I wonder if anyone will find out that they're both actually in the Manor. I also like how Harry is not just in the sidelines in the story but that he's focused on as well. It is amusing that some still swoon over him though, haha. Over all, I am liking the characterisations so far of all three of them quite well. Your descriptions and details are also very good. It is also cute how the romance-y feelings are slowly starting to blossom between Draco/Hermione, with the 'tingle' and all that on touch.

I am excited to see how the plot progresses. Good work!

House Cup 2014 Review.

Cheers
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: I couldn't write about Hermione without including a library somewhere!

Thank you so much for another lovely review,

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Review #19, by adluvshpRepentance: Unwanted Guests

11th July 2014:
First off, I don't think the pace is slow at all. It is quite perfect really. Your writing is very smooth with great descriptions. There are some places where I noticed a few off-sounding sentences but for the most part, it made for a nice flowing read.

Harry and Ginny's reactions to Hermione being seen with Malfoy were quite believable, but I wish they'd try to understand Hermione's position more. Hermione's reflection about everything that happened, along with Malfoy's "offer" made sense too.

It is obvious that Rowle is after Hermione even now, sending his cronies to do digging in her apartment. The scene between them was quite well done and I'm glad Hermione fought. I also liked the interaction between Hermione and Draco later. Hermione's state was understandable and all that emotion was bound to burst out. You wrote all of it quite well. I also liked how the chapter ended on a positive note, with another step in the direction of friendship between Hermione and Draco.

Good job as always.

House Cup 2014 Review.
Cheers
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Thank you for reassuring me, I was concerned there wasn't enough 'action' to encourage readers to continue so thank you :)

Thank you again,

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Review #20, by adluvshpRepentance: Meeting

11th July 2014:
Hermione moving to Malfoy Manor, now that will be something interesting. I wonder if she'll agree though, hmm. I liked this chapter very much as it focused on Harry, Draco, and Hermione's reflections about the current events. It gave a good insight into the characters' inner thoughts and feelings. The interaction between Draco and Hermione was the most interesting of course. I liked how Draco came clean to Hermione with exactly what he thought and felt regarding the event of the final day of the battle. His reasoning did make sense after all. Hermione's reactions were also well-written, and the banter that flowed between the two was believable and good to read.

The story is getting more intense with every passing chapter and I like that. I am looking forward to Hermione's answer about the move, and also to Harry and Ron's reactions if she does move to the Manor.

Good going.

House Cup 2014 Review.

-Cheers,
AD

Author's Response: I'm so happy that you seem hooked! I hope I can do it justice for you :)

Thank you thank you thank you!

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Review #21, by adluvshpRepentance: Laughter

11th July 2014:
Hello again! I am quite liking the way things are going. It's nice that Draco and Hermione are finally being civil to each other. I also like the little details you put in like Pansy being at the Manor, and Draco 'inviting' Hermione for breakfast. It was also interesting that Draco actually set protection charms around Hermione's apartment - that's one nice gesture, and of course the least he could do.

Harry seems to shout a lot in this story by the way, haha, but it's to be expected with the way people barge in and out of meetings. This Prince girl seems intriguing too, though I hope she's a 'good' character, even though she is giving me sort of negative vibes. I guess I'll just have to wait and read to see what she is actually like.

Hermione's letter to Ron was so short and clipped, it made me realise just how much they had drifted apart. Nonetheless, I hope he comes back soon as it would be interesting to see his reaction to the friendship between Draco/Hermione.

All in all, another good chapter with nice descriptions, consistent characterisations, and good plot points.

House Cup 2014 Review.

-Cheers,
AD

Author's Response: Hey :)

Pansy is one of my favourite characters to write because so much can be done with her - we only see one side of her in canon but I like to show her differently.

Harry is very angry since the war! I think it affected him a lot more than he lets on to everyone else, it just seems to come out in bursts for him haha

Thank you again,

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Review #22, by adluvshpRepentance: I'm Sorry

11th July 2014:
So I was right - it was Malfoy who had grabbed Hermione. More so, apparently Rowle was the one following Hermione. I can't believe he's still after her after all this time. It's a good thing Draco got to her in time though. The scene when he was crying was quite touching - all that guilt really did come pouring out. I'm glad Hermione believed him and is ready to meet him now. I wonder how their interaction will go once Hermione reaches the Manor and talks to him about Rowle's sighting though.

The story is getting more and more interesting, and I'm really liking it. The pace of the plot is moving swiftly - not too fast and not too slow - which is good. Your characterisations so far are awesome, and the narrative with all the emotions is really nicely done.

Good job!
House Cup 2014 Review.

-Cheers,
AD

Author's Response: Yep, you guessed correctly!
There's loads more to come from Rowle as the story progresses which will show how twisted he really is (I really can't stand his character!)

Thank you for such encouraging reviews, I'm glad you're enjoying it,

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Review #23, by adluvshpRepentance: Guilt

11th July 2014:
Ah the ending of this chapter was quite intense. I am very eager to know what happened to Hermione now, especially who grabbed her. I have a nagging sensation it is Draco, but let's see!

The friendship you've shown between Pansy, Draco, and Blaise is also nice. It's good to see things from Draco's perspective as well. It is understandable that he blames himself for not being able to 'save' Hermione that night. You have written his guilt quite well. I also enjoyed your characterisations of Pansy and Blaise.

The last bit of the chapter was the most interesting though, with Hermione being so scared and getting ambushed. The dream she had was also a good way of showing that her fears haven't really left her, and that the past still haunts her. I hope she can overcome it all soon.

Good work going.

House Cup 2014 Review.

-Cheers,
AD

Author's Response: I know, cliffhangers are a pet hate of mine but I just can't help it when I write myself! Hopefully that built the suspense for you :)

Thank you once again,

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Review #24, by adluvshpRepentance: Misery

11th July 2014:
Ah things are certainly getting more interesting. I am liking your portrayal of Draco here, especially it's nice to see that he is the Head of the Department of International Magical Cooperation. Hermione's letter to him was quite brutal of course, but it is only understandable after everything that has happened between them in the past. The interaction between Harry and Draco was also quite enjoyable to read. The dialogues were witty and engaging, and the banter something I could see actually happening.

It was awful what happened to Hermione in the battle, and I am surprised she didn't confide in Harry (or Ron I guess) about it. It is quite sad really that she has to bear all the pain by herself, and that Malfoy was the sole witness to what happened. I hope he finds a way to help her. The last scene between Hermione and him was quite well-written, and the emotions really came through. It's going to take a lot more than that after all for Hermione to forgive Draco and open up to him, or anyone for that matter.

So far, the story is going great and I am liking it.

House Cup 2014 Review.

-Cheers,
AD

Author's Response: Hi again :)

I'm happy you picked up on Draco's job, I thought that might be quite a simple way to show the changes in him.

Thank you so much,

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Review #25, by adluvshpRepentance: Old Faces

11th July 2014:
Hey! I am a Dramione lover and have read lots of Dramione stories since I ventured into fanfiction, and seeing all the clichés around I had taken a break from reading those for a while. But now I'm back into it and I'm glad yours was one of the stories that was recommended to me, as it definitely seems like a breath of fresh air after all the cliches.

Your backstory and portrayal of characters in this first chapter is quite believable and nicely done. Hermione's current state is understandable and realistic after everything she has been through. She was so strong in her earlier years during the war but it was bound to take a toll on her sooner or later, and as the war finishes, all the bad memories must have been hard to suppress. It's also interesting that Harry is her boss now and Ron has become distant - the dynamics of the trio have obviously changed as that is bound to happen after-school. I do feel there's more to Hermione's problems though and I'm intrigued to see those unfold.

Your writing is also quite good, with a nice balance between description and dialogues. The plot looks quite good, and the narrative is interesting and encourages me to keep reading, and so I will. Over all, I'd say this was a very good first chapter to set the whole scene for the story and I like how you've straight away jumped into the action of things.

House Cup 2014 Review.

-Cheers,
AD

Author's Response: Hi there!

Thank you so so so much for reviewing every chapter, I was stunned to come online and see my review count!

I also love Dramione and since I began reading on HPFF years ago I've wanted to write one myself :)

I'm glad you feel the realism of the story as it was important for me to keep the foundation of the characters the same as they always were, but the plot of this calls for a lot of differences, too.

Thank you again,

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