Reading Reviews From Member: adluvshp
1,880 Reviews Found

Review #1, by adluvshpCircle of Silence: Chapter 1

28th November 2015:
ERIN! omg i can't believe you wrote a fic for me. i am so honoured. nobody has ever written a fic for me before and this makes me so so happy and i am having all these feels. it's even more special coz YOU are writing it and you're like a phenomenal writer and your writing is just wow. so thank you, i love you, you're the best!!

Now, on to the review. I'm going to write this review as I read so please bear with the incoherence of my thoughts xP

First off, WOAH. A crime mystery AND a Rose/Scorpius?! You've picked my favourite genre and favourite pairing... of course I'm loving this already! *hugs*

Ahh Rose and her craving for something more exciting. I already love her. Your characterisation of her is superb. I love a Rose who's itching for adventure and action. It's the perfect mix of Ron/Hermione and I'd expect nothing less from her. So, I wonder why her boss called her in.

Yes Rose is determined! Me likey! Her boss is going to love her work xD

Ooh bodies! What kind of bodies! My interest is immediately piqued, wanting to know why the boss said "you'd understand further" if she saw the bodies. Btw, while we're on the subject, very neat and well-written dialogue. Great balance between dialogue and narrative!

Oooh vague address. I love when bosses are vague. I wonder if this is Scorpius ;)

"It was going to be an interesting case, and Rose Weasley was going to make sure she enjoyed every second of it." YES ROSE YOU'RE GOING TO ENJOY IT. This sentence kinda defines what I'm feeling now because as soon as I started reading, I had a feeling that this is going to be an interesting story and that me Angie is going to enjoy reading every second of it xD

Great description there of the morgue entrance. I could visualise it easily and immediately in my mind's eye.

Ooh I love Rose's credentials. She has a fancy fun job!

Okay that morgue sounds downright creepy. "Rose shuddered inwardly as she thought of eating in a corner at this place filled with decay and demise." ugh i could never stomach it. but you go Rose, you are not scared!

omg both bodies died in a similar manner, similar marks, suffocation with the mysterious cloth? now this looks like the work of a serial killer or something. interesting, very interesting.

You go Rose! I love how quickly her brain works. She's already connecting the dots, realising these aren't random killings and there's something connecting the victims. You have characterised her beautifully.

Ooh I am loving the idea of Wastelands. You can expect the wizarding world to have something like that since the Muggle communities sure do. Your description of the area is perfect, again very easy to visualise, and great use of words there.

Ugh the state of the body sounds horrible. But also very intriguing. I love Rose's use of the word "ritualistic" here. Definitely something magical and meaningful.

I like Danforth. He seems like a nice guy. Good shaping up for your OCs! Looking forward to see how they're developed further as the story progresses!

Ahh that last sentence. IT IS SCORPIUS IT HAS TO BE. omg i am so excited. I NEED THE NEXT CHAPTER NOW. haha okay sorry i won't rush you but boy is this story amazing already?! i am super intrigued, about the mystery, about the dynamics between Rose and Scorpius, about what kind of work he does and how he's going to help, and how do they solve the mystery together!

Such a perfect first chapter! Brilliantly written, great narrative, and loving the plot. Your characterisations are superb, I especially am already connected with Rose, and you have just the right amount of suspense surrounding the piece. Solid first chapter, super excited to see what happens next!

You're such a beautiful writer, you have the most amazing way with words, and your plot concepts are always very unique, so I absolutely know this story is fantastic, the first chapter is pretty much amazing already after all. *bows to your awesomeness*

Loved it!! Thank you so much once again for writing this! You've to write more and update soon xD


Love and hugs,

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Review #2, by adluvshpThe Misfortunes of Misunderstandings: Primus

27th November 2015:
Hey there! I felt terrible for having skipped you in my requested reviews thread so I'm dropping by for a quick, random, informal review *hugs*

I think this was a great chapter to start off your story with! Christine's characterisation is very good, and I kinda feel sorry for her. The mix up is a little bit funny though. And I love how you've written Sirius here and included him in the situations. Your dialogues and descriptions are very good and I had a very nice time reading it! The story definitely seems interesting! I'd love to see how thing unfold.

great going, keep writing!

Angie (lost muse // aditidraco95)

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I totally don't mind and I very much appreciate any type of crit. :)
I was hoping people would like Christine. I didn't want her to be very cliché but I was also worried about developing her well. I'm glad you like Sirius. I was concerned about my portrayal of the canon characters as well. Thanks for the review and this really made my day. :)

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Review #3, by adluvshpTainted Tinsel: Christmas Eve

27th November 2015:
Rumpel! Oh dear me, you broke my heart again. I feel so bad for Will, and their parents. Their son is dead and their daughter has been kidnapped by a werewolf. What a terrible Christmas. And poor Will, dying trying to save his sister.

Gah, so many feels. But aside from that, this was so well-written. Your characterisation of Fenrir is perfect. I like how he is not just randomly killing or attacking kids for the fun of it but he actually has a plan. The way you explain the motivation behind his actions is lovely. I like how he's put so much thought into it, deciding to side with Voldemort, and aiming to take him out in the end too, as well as putting down wizards. He is smart and i like that.

The use of the tinsel throughout this story was very good. It provided a creepy edge to things - the way Will still clutched it in his hands, that dragged out the tree, and then Ellie had pieces of it stuck in her hair. It was almost poetic.

Your descriptions were absolutely beautiful and I had a lovely time reading this. It made me want to read more, to find out about Ellie and the pack, and how things progressed from this night. And of course, you characterised Fenrir so well I really wanted to get to know him more too!

Consider a sequel? ;)

All in all, loved it. Great writing, perfect descriptions, interesting concept! 10/10


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Review #4, by adluvshpThe Serpent of Slytherin: Mother

27th November 2015:
Ooh! This was lovely, Gee! What a beautiful insight into the mind of a Basilisk! I loved how the creature craves the comfort and love of a mother, despite being such a dark and deadly one. You did the prompt complete justice.

Your descriptions here are phenomenal. The hatching of the egg, the newborn, the first feelings as she came into the world, what lovely use of words. I could see the scene unfolding in my mind's eye perfectly.

The interaction between the Basilisk and Salazar Slytherin is nicely written. I like how the Basilisk readily follows her "mother's" commands without question. Little details such as Salazar's 'flat snout' and 'unusually full lips' were a very nice touch - showing that the snake saw the differences and yet accepted the human as her mother.

I loved the bit about Salazar telling the basilisk that the blood of the victim is tainted, and yet the snake not being able to differentiate - because really the blood is not different at all. Lovely concept there.

The growing boredom, the longing to see her mother, these emotions came through beautifully from the basilisk as the narrative progressed, so kudos for actually making me feel for such a creature! Your descriptions really were just exquisite.

The ending bit was very good, with Tom Riddle coming by, nervous and a little afraid, and yet the Basilisk thinking the mother has returned recognising the tone of voice etc. What lovely way to portray things! As I came to end, I did not want it to stop. I wanted to continue reading - and that is a mark of a very well-written one-shot. I loved it so much.

Great job!! 10/10

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Review #5, by adluvshpSpirited Away: First Contact

27th November 2015:
Oh my Gpd Gee, I am laughing so hard. Poor, poor Hermione. *wipes a tear of laughter*

I am having so much fun reading this! I am not one to usually read humour but this looked intriguing and much more than mindless parody so I decided to give it a shot - and I'm happy with my decision!

Also, can I bow to your amazingness? You write dark and horror as well as you do fluff and humour! You're so versatile, wow!!

Back to the review, I loved it. The idea of the time turner breaking and transporting Hermione into an alternate reality (or whatever it is) is very interesting. You've definitely played around with it well and I'm curious to find out more - I'm guessing it's a mystery that will be solved.

McGonagall and Snape? Oh dear Lord. I love this pompous fun Snape, hahaha. The idea of him addressing his students, much less Hermione, like that is hilarious (and also kinda creepy). Imagining him in this kind of personality is really very funny. And then the alternate Hermione - she's a dumb chick - talk about role reversal or mirror opposites.

All in all, I had a great time reading this and I'm very excited to know what happens next! The story is headed in a superb direction. Can't wait to read more. Hope to be back soon!

10/10 yet again

P.S. Sorry for the review swap/request confusion again!

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Review #6, by adluvshpSalvation: Bellatrix

27th November 2015:
Hey Gee! Here for another review, sort of making up for the request/swap/hot seat combinations, lol.

Okay, first of all, WOW. Just wow. This was so beautiful! Your writing style is amazing here. I love your characterisation of Bellatrix, it is so perfect, and the insight into her thoughts is just brilliant. You've captured her personality so well!

From the very beginning, we see Bellatrix has been a little "crazy" since a child - stealing knives, torturing Muggles, swearing etc. And it's interesting how she was reprimanded for it.

Her disdain for her sisters, her family, is very apparent, and written well. It also makes sense, and I especially like how she thinks she has stayed true to herself. The idea of the Room of Reflections is a very chilling one - seriously what kind of parents do that - and it's so cruel, so kudos for actually making me sympathise for Bellatrix!

I love how Bellatrix thinks of herself as 'creative and original' and finds school boring. Again, it makes perfect sense, seeing the kind of person she is. You've explained the motivations behind her actions beautifully.

And then her boredom with her husband. You hit the nail here, because I've seen a lot of fics where it's shown that he's the only one who understands her and that they share some kind of twisted love, but here you present a refreshing angle which I like.

The ending bit is just perfection. Her finding the "one" in Voldemort. It's definitely creepy and crazy but totally Bellatrix. Love how the "H" in He is capitalised, emphasising his importance. The last line is amazing and really hit me. Really, your use of words throughout is perfect.

I don't know what else to say - I loved your descriptions, the narration was smooth and beautiful and deep, and the characterisation was amazing. It made for a very engaging read!


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Review #7, by adluvshpMarry Me: I Knew I Loved you Before I Met you

27th November 2015:
Hey! Here for your requested review from the forums.

I think this is a great start to your story. I like your characterisation of James, as well as the way you've written his relationship with the Marauders. It's natural and makes me feel connected to him.

His feelings for Lily and thoughts towards her are very well-written. I like how it's been made clear from the first chapter itself. The plot base has been laid and I am looking forward to see how things develop.

It was a little funny when James just asked Lily to marry him the day he met her. Haha. But love at first sight and all that jazz makes you do stupid things xP It was a cute moment and Lily's reaction was definitely realistic.

For CC, all I've to say is, perhaps work on your descriptions a little bit. I'd like to see some more descriptions accompanying the dialogue to keep the flow natural and get a better sense of the scene.

Besides that, I really liked it. It's a great start. You're delving into things right from first year so the premise is interesting. The story is definitely believable so far and I think you did a good writing third person. The narrative is lovely. Great job!


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Review #8, by adluvshpMordaunt's Living Masks: Chapter One

27th November 2015:
Hey! Here for our review swap (much, much delayed, I'm sorry) as well combining with the Hot Seat. I really wanted to review you more but I'm very tight on time these days =( But I promise I'll make it up to you with lots of nice reviews very soon!

So, this was a very, very intriguing second chapter. I loved it! Your descriptions are chilling, amazing, and paint great pictures in my mind. It's very easy to visualise the scenes. Your portrayal of the thoughts of Minerva and Snape are both perfect. It was great getting an insight into their minds, especially when it aligns so well with canon.

So, something is going on on the fifth floor, and then there's a terrible creature in the dungeons. Looks like Hogwarts has more than one horror loose in its bounds! It's all very thrilling and I'm kinda horrified and very very curious to know what's going to happen next, how Ester comes into all of this, and what role do Fred and George play.

Really great going. I can't wait to read more so do update soon! Loved it! 10/10


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Review #9, by adluvshpAnd Then There Were None: The Invite

27th November 2015:
Hey! I'm here for our review swap. I'm so terribly sorry for the delay (man it's so delayed I can't even remember whether you already reviewed me or not haha). But anyway, I can't believe it took me so long to get here because THIS STORY IS GOING TO BE AMAZING.

I've read And Then There Were None - I loved the book so much I read it in one night straight - which was a bad idea because I was thoroughly creeped out and sort of scared (I tend to scare easily xP) but my god I loved the book so much! I read it about two years ago so I don't remember all the details very well, but I remember a good enough sketch to expect what's going to happen next, and I CAN'T WAIT!

I love, love, love how you've kept the writing style so similar to Agatha Christie's. She's one of my favourite authors, there's barely any book of hers that I haven't read, so it was a relief to see that your writing has not "ruined" anything. You're doing great so far.

The cast of characters you've chosen here is very interesting. I am especially intrigued for Cho, Charlie, Andromeda, and Dennis. I wonder what will happen next, who plays what part in the book, and how things turn out. The idea of the "Muggle Island" is brilliant - I wonder if they won't be allowed to use magic there?

I love how ominous certain things already are, especially with Andromeda hiding and Dennis carrying a gun - what is really going on - so it's really a brilliant start. I'm so so excited to see how the story moves ahead, and how it'll be similar and different to the original. You're doing amazing so far, loving the characters, the narrative structure, and the descriptions. Please do update soon 'cause I need to read more, haha!

Loved it! 10/10
(Lost Muse)

Author's Response: Agh, thank you so much - this review totally made my night!!

I reviewed Beautiful for our swap, but I had forgotten that you owed me a review, so this was a wonderful surprise!

My last several readers have not been familiar with the original novel, so I definitely appreciate your feedback and perspective.

I've been a huge fan of Agatha Chritie for years and years, and while I've always wanted to try writing mystery, I've been intimidated by the scope of plotting involved. Doing an adaptation of one of her greatest works has been a really great way to try out the style. I definitely base my narrative and style around her material, though my narrative style does have my own touches in it (more descriptive language than her trademark minimalist he said/she said style)

All of the characters here line up with characters from the original, with a couple key differences. I am glad to hear about which characters interest you - Cho, Charlie, Andromeda, and Dennis are all really fun to write, and are seeming to be consistent favorites among readers.

I'm glad you like the idea of Muggle Island. At first I thought it might be too cliche, but it actually plays out really well as a symbolic and literal trap for these characters.

I actually just finished writing chapter two today, so expect an update very soon!

Again, thanks so much for this amazing review and the swap!


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Review #10, by adluvshp1981: Winter

27th November 2015:
Hey! I'm here for our review swap. So sorry for the delay!

Wow, this was lovely. I love the idea of writing about the last year of the Marauders. This chapter was definitely a great start to it. The way you've broken this off into months and given insights into Wormtail, James and Sirius' thoughts is perfect. I missed Remus here though!

Your descriptions are very good, and transport me right into their heads. The way you describe Peter's fear and coldness, and how he does not really want to associate with Voldemort, and then how he feels angry and isolated at James' place, it all adds up very well. James' frustration and boredom comes through really nicely too and so does Sirius' attitude towards the war and clinging to hope.

All in all, this made for a beautiful read. I hope to come back for more. Great job! Loved it!

Angie (Lost Muse)

Author's Response: Hi, Angie!
Thank you for the swap!

This is by far the darkest and most depressing thing I've ever written, but I must confess that I'm quite proud of how it turned out. I'm glad you enjoyed it so far!

I'm glad you liked the structure and that the three POVs worked well. You'll get some Remus in the next chapter, if you wish to go on reading. :)

I'm glad you liked the description, because I really have a hard time with those. And it's just so good to know that you could feel the characters! Thank you so much!

Thanks for the swap and the lovely review!!!
Many hugs and much love,

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Review #11, by adluvshpLeaving You There was the Most Honest Thing Ive Ever Done: The Bathroom

27th November 2015:
Hey! Here for our review swap from the forums. I'm incredibly late with this, so my apologies. (I honestly can't even remember anymore if you've already reviewed me or not, that's how late I'm, oops).

Anyway, on to the review! So, I really liked this! The twist at the end was perfect - I couldn't imagine Rose leaving Scorpius for Teddy, so that was interesting. I like how you explained her actions through the narrative - the thoughts flowed naturally - and we found out why she did what she did. My heart broke for Scorpius here though, I imagine how hurt he must have been, and it was good that Rose at least felt a little bit sorry for him and wanted to make him understand.

Rose/Teddy is a very unique pairing and I wonder how you came up with it. You mentioned they dated in her sixth year, that would mean Teddy would already be out of Hogwarts by then, so I wonder how they worked out and how they came together in the first place. So, I'd have loved to know more about that, maybe through brief flashbacks or even simple sentences of Rose reminiscing.

But otherwise, I think this was a great one-shot. Your writing style was different but came across nicely. I enjoyed the narrative. The descriptions were good. And it made for a bittersweet read. I especially loved the bit where you were talking about them travelling the world: "alone but with each other." Beautiful play of words there.

All in all, great job! Thanks for the read, and once again, sorry for the delay!

Angie (Lost Muse)

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Review #12, by adluvshpRise of the Phoenix: Into the Void

27th November 2015:
Hey! Here for our review swap. I think I'm more than a week late so I'm really sorry. I'm Lost Muse on the forums btw.

So, I've read both this and the previous chapter, and I've to say, I'm liking this story very much so far. Your characterisation of Aurora is very good and I connected with her easily. The way you portray her thoughts is natural and interesting. Like when she can't think of a good spell and uses the antlers one - the pressure of the situation - it makes sense.

Your descriptions are very good, especially in terms of 'actions'. Like I dont think so he said, his tongue running over his sharp, blood-stained teeth, saliva lingering on his pronounced canines. He gestured to the willow wand that had trundled beneath his feet."

It's easy to visualise the scenes and I am enjoying it thoroughly. Fenrir is very creepy in this story and I'm loving his characterisation. I am very curious to see how things progress further.

All in all, great story, and I hope to read more!


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Review #13, by adluvshpEqual Measure Good and Bad: Hearts are broken, Lives go on

27th November 2015:
Hey! Here for our review swap. I'm so sorry for the delay!

I'd already read and reviewed the first chapter so here's me doing the second =)

I think this story is headed in a very good direction! I am liking how you've kept a balance between showing their personal lives as well as the work/mystery side throughout. The narrative reads well and I like the descriptions.

Ron, Harry, Hermione, Bill, Ginny, and Draco's characterisations are done very well. I can already connect to them and understand their emotions. The subtle explanation of what's been going on in their lives is good.

The mystery of the stonehenge is very interesting. I am curious to know more about this curse and what will happen next. Ginny's nightmares, Ron and Hermione's strain, and Draco's impending meeting with Goyle, were interesting plot points here and I'm looking forward to see how they're developed.

You've shown a very natural reaction to war and how they're all slowly trying to heal. The overall dialogue is good too. All in all, this made for a good read and I hope to come back for more!

(AditiDraco95/Lost Muse)

Author's Response: Thanks for the praise Aditi. I sure do hope you come back for more and like how the story progresses further. Please do let me know what you think about the next few chapters. :)

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Review #14, by adluvshpVox wuod Sanctimonia: Cupiditas

26th November 2015:
Hey Rumpel!

Ooh, a lovely Founders piece. I have always been fond of this era, especially to see how Salazar Slytherin is portrayed, so I think you did a fabulous job with this! I loved his characterisation. The comments on Muggles, and fighting back etc made sense, and aligned with canon. At the same time, it showed he wasn't evil, just particularly doubtful of Muggles, and had that quality of self-preservation for his own kind i.e. magical beings. His initial perception of Rowena, based on what he'd heard about her, was very interesting. His dialogue with Godric about her made me smile xD

I loved how in the end his first impression was changed, and he was willing to give her a chance. Their interaction, however brief, was enough to cause him to think. Your descriptions were especially very good in that manner. The dialogue was perfect and the narrative flowed smoothly. I really enjoyed reading this and found myself wanting more by the end. I wish this could be continued into a short story!

All in all, great job. As usual, reading your writing is a pleasure.


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Review #15, by adluvshpOnce Upon The Marauders: The Untold Story: Broomsticks and Bernacle Juice

23rd November 2015:
Hey! Here for your requested review from the forums =) I decided to read both Chapters 3 and 4 and leave a review here!

I am really enjoying the story! You're doing so well with the characterisations of the Marauders. In Chapter 3, you did a good job in portraying Remus' happiness at finally being at Hogwarts, James and Sirius already causing trouble and getting noticed by older students, and Sirius' mum coming in was a nice touch. It all added to their personalities. Slughorn's portrayal was done nicely too and I enjoyed reading the class they had. Lily's flair for potions is already showing and that's cool. Adhara is an interesting character and I like how she's shaping up too. Good job.

The Flying lessons in this chapter was very good. I enjoyed reading it and it showed an interesting insight into the characters. Severus and James' spat made sense and was written naturally. I'm glad the dynamics are already being explored.

James reminded me of Harry during the lesson - Madam Hooch asking him to come down when he flew when he wasn't supposed to - just like Harry did in his first lesson hehe. Loved that bit!

Remus' compassion and wanting to include Peter is sweet. It says a lot about his personality and I'm glad you're keeping him very canon here. Little details that like really make the story work =)

Lily and Severus are already arguing, hehe. Makes sense of course. They're in different houses and obviously their personalities clash. I like how you continue to show Severus' feelings for Lily without blatantly expressing them. The dialogue and descriptions work well that way.

I don't know what Adhara is up to but you certainly have brought in an interesting twist there. The whole interaction with her brother, Marlene's run-in with her, and poor Adhara crying. And then of course Adhara ignoring Lily. I look forward to how that's developed as the story progresses.

All in all, things are certainly going very well in the story. Your plot is engaging, the characterisations are nicely shaping up, and your narrative flows well. I'm quite enjoying it. Feel free to re-request!


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Review #16, by adluvshpThe Two of Us: Tension

23rd November 2015:
Hey Gabbie! Here for your requested review from the forums.

First off, I've to say, I'm very very impressed with your grasp on the twins' personalities. You've written both Fred and George very well. You've kept their core traits, you've maintained how they appear in canon, and at the same time, you've given fresh insights into their relationship, into their personality dynamics, and highlighting how similar and different they are. That's a remarkable feat so hats off!

I love your writing style too. Your use of vocabulary is good and the narrative flows beautifully. You can keep the reader engaged from beginning to end, and the scenes are such that can be easily visualised in the mind's eye.

The plot concept itself is very good. George and Fred both liking Angelina is a concept I've across a few times but the way you have woven it is amazing. The way you wielded the canon moment into something more was perfect. Oh and you did a good job of portraying Lee too!

For CC, all I've to say is, perhaps polish your dialogue a little bit more? It reads off as stunted in a few places, if you know what I want. And the blend between dialogue and descriptions could be smoother.

But apart from that, I think it's a great start to the story and I'm curious to see how things go further and get resolved. Lovely read and feel free to re-request!

Lost Muse
(previously AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: HELLO!

Thanks so much for stopping by and junk! I have only a bit of experience writing the twins and I was worried about how they would turn out for this chapter. I think that their relationship has all sorts of things that you can do to show just how different they are. They've got a lot of similarities but there are moments when you can really see that they aren't the same, which was really hard to write.

I'm happy that the flow was good too, I thought that it was too choppy in some places. ;__;

I wanted to explore the canon moment more because there are so many things that you can do it with and also, we don't really know what happened either. I don't use the Fred/Angelina angle in this though but it does make you wonder about what sort of drama they'll go through before the ball arrives.

Lee Jordan is awesome and so easy to write for some reason! :D

I'm horrible at dialogue so thanks for telling me!

I shall re-request whenever I get the next chapter up!

Much love,


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Review #17, by adluvshpOf Final Thoughts: How to Say Goodbye

19th November 2015:
Hey again =)

Wow, this was beautifully written. It was certainly different from your usual style, I agree, but I think it worked brilliantly. Your use of narrative style was very good and fit the theme. The "you" being Alastor Moody made it very personal and I felt like I was in Caradoc's shoes. I believe if you'd added more stuff to the story, as you said, the message might have been lost.

This is perfect the way it is, because in few paragraphs, we get a complete picture of what's happening and can build a connection to the MC as well as Moody. I could see where their friendship came from, and the bond they shared through Caradoc's eyes. His thoughts were well-portrayed and I felt for him.

The ending really broke my heart, because I guess he died. But it made sense, and the entire piece itself was quite sad. Tragic but again beautifully written. The descriptions were brilliant and the flow was just so smooth, it made for a great read. Definitely powerful, and a lovely way to show a non-canon glimpse of something different from the war.

I loved it. Great work.

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Review #18, by adluvshpPromise.: Ten Minutes

19th November 2015:
Hello again!

This was so very sweet. I'm glad Regulus and Narcissa shared a sweet bond - well it's not exactly canon but I'm going to keep it as my head canon from now on. You definitely chose an interesting plot here and wove it very well (as you always do).

Your characterisation of Regulus was very good. His frustration, his worry, it all came through wonderfully. You used descriptions very well to enhance that and convey the theme further. Like:

"Shaking his head, he brought himself back from a world of unspoken fears and back into warm-roomed, noisy, upperclass reality."

Here, "unspoken fears" and "upperclass reality" really make an impact. They have so much underlying meaning. They give a very good picture of what's going on in Regulus' life.

And then:
"In contrast, Regulus' knew his face was slightly flush from the warmth, and he could practically feel the wrinkles in his robes. His mother would have a fit."

Again, it shows the kind of pressure Regulus is under, and what he deals with on a daily basis. His resentment seeps through and that's perfect.

It was sad that Regulus couldn't feel connected to Sirius because he'd "abandoned" him, but it was nice that Narcissa could fill that void. Their interaction was well-written and the ending brought a sweet smile to my face. It made for a lovely little read and I loved it, as I usually love all your writing =)

Great job!

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Review #19, by adluvshpEach Shining Light, Each Silver Bell: Of Mince Pies and Angels

19th November 2015:
Hey Rumpel.

Aw, this was so very sad. My heart broke for poor Severus. The ending =( Why must you do this to me? *cries and hugs little Severus*

Christmas is such a happy holiday, and to see little Severus have had such a miserable experience with it, was just very sad. You portrayed his character very well. I could feel his emotions throughout. The narrative worked well with the theme of the little child.

When he was preparing the Christmas tree, that was very sweet. I wanted his parents to appreciate it. His father's reaction to it was just horrible. I feel so bad. And his mother, not being able to do anything. *cries more*

The ending really broke my heart though. The beads falling out felt symbolic to his life or his childhood shattering. Poor little kid. *cries even more*

All in all, you wrote a beautifully tragic one-shot. Your characterisations, descriptions, and overall theme was superb. It made for a moving, powerful read. Loved it.

Much love,

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Review #20, by adluvshpDon't Judge A Book By Its Cover: Don't Judge A Book By Its Cover

17th November 2015:
Hey! Here for the review swap!

I really loved this. Your depiction of Quirrel was very apt, and you got his characterisation down very well. His emotions and thoughts were on point and got through the narrative intensely.

I felt bad for him, and could feel his pain and fear as Voldemort terrorised him. His thirst to prove himself, the little streak of memories in the beginning depicting what he'd been through, and the use of the proverb along with the little details really enhanced the narrative.

The ending was on a nice note with him realising that Voldemort was the real coward.I think you chose a great plot and wrote it very well.

I am glad I got to be able to read this. It made for a great read!!


Author's Response: Hi Angie!

I am glad you found this depiction of Quirrell apt.

If you felt bad for him, then I can say that this little story was worth something. ;)

I wanted to show that Quirrell was human after all and Voldemort was the bigger evil, hence added the ending that way. I just thought that he needed salvation, at least at the time of his death.

I am so happy you liked the story!

-Emm ^_^

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Review #21, by adluvshpRecipe For Detention: It All Started With Puffskein Poo

17th November 2015:
Hey! Here for the review swap!

Ooh, I really enjoyed this. I don't usually read a lot of fluff (more of a "dark" person) but this definitely served as a nice break from my usual. It was well-written, easy to read, and made me smile.

Your characterisations of Sirius and Lily were so on point! If I were to imagine them in my head, I'd exactly expect them to behave this way! Your portrayal really hit the piece. And I think you did a good job of writing McGonagall too. She's definitely a difficult character to pull off. I enjoyed the banter here throughout, you wove it in so well with the narrative. And the conflicting thoughts of Lily were very realistic.

All in all, great one-shot. I can see it serving well as a companion piece to your novel. You really get the Marauders and the way you write them is really brilliant. I honestly dont know what else to say. Loved it!


Author's Response: Hey Angie!

Glad we did the review swap!

I used to write a lot of fluff but only from a romance point of view. To explore that from a friendship perspective was really different, and very fulfilling.

I really loved exploring the Lily Sirius dynamics here. I am not that great with dialogue, so I'm really happy you enjoyed the banter!

Thank you once again for checking it out and reviewing!


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Review #22, by adluvshpOnce Upon The Marauders: The Untold Story: First Impressions, Undone

17th November 2015:
Hey! Here for your requested review from the forums =)

I'm glad I could stop by to read this as I've been wanting to read your work for a while! The first chapter was very good. I enjoyed the way you wrote it, showcasing the different ways in which the main characters of the story were approaching their Hogwarts letter. The conversation between Snape and Lily was nicely done. Sirius' scene was adorable; I loved the camaraderie between him and Regulus. The mention of the "blood purity movement" was also interesting. Liked the insight into Peter and James' homes as well. All in all, chapter 1 was very good and provided a very good introduction into the story.

On to this chapter, another well-written one. I liked how you took the canon events and gave them your own spin. The dialogue interactions between Lily, Severus, James and Sirius were nicely done. Adhara also seems nice, and you've done a good job of portraying her. The characterisations of the MCs so far are shaping up well. I especially love how you've written Sirius, it's perfect.

I honestly don't have any constructive criticism to give you, except perhaps to look a little bit more into the flow between dialogues and narrative? It's good enough already but you certainly have room for improvement to maintain a better balance between dialogue and descriptions to give an even more realistic feel of the scene.

Besides that, overall, the dialogues, canon compliance, characterisations etc. are quite good. The story is definitely off to a good start and I'm excited to see how the plot progresses. You definitely are a very good writer and I enjoyed reading the first two chapters. Hope to be back for more when I can!


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Review #23, by adluvshpThe Last Dance: I promise

13th November 2015:
Oh Avi, you've made me cry. Excuse me if my review isn't very coherent.

Such beautiful, beautiful writing. This was so perfect. Ron/Hermione's last dance. The way you wrote it, just wow. This was such a bittersweet one-shot. It was so sad that they're in their old age and Hermione is ill and Ron can feel his end nearing. And yet their love is still the same which was adorable. Also, the little mention of Harry having passed away tore at my chest. It's sweet and fitting that they still think of him.

Really, it was so beautiful. And I think it's perfect the way it is. It does not need more expansion in terms of the environment etc. This one-shot is all about raw emotion and I believe it'll lose that essence if you add more details about the surroundings etc. So, it's best to leave it as it is - but that's just my humble opinion =)

As for mistakes, I didn't spot any except:
"You smile and I take your hand in mine. I swear I saw a sparkle in your eyes." I believe it should be "I swear I see a sparkle..." to flow with the tense of the rest of the narrative.

Besides that, as I said, this was perfect. I loved it and it was my pleasure to read it. You portrayed Ron and his love for Hermione beautifully, and the premise of this was very touching. Your writing is always so moving. Great work *hugs*


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Review #24, by adluvshpMordaunt's Living Masks: Prologue

13th November 2015:
Hey Gee! Here for your requested review from the forums =)

Ooh okay, I absolutely loved this chapter. Your descriptions are amazing and it's a great opener to the story. The plot looks very intriguing and I can't wait to see what you have in store for the readers. The entire thing has a very spooky feel to it which fits the theme perfectly!

To answer your concerns, Esther does come across as a mean person, but not essentially vile. I can see her "good" side too, as well as the grey bits of her personality. To me, she came across as somebody just having some fun at the expense of the Muggles. But she knows where to draw the line. And at the same time, the idea of power seems to appeal to her, as she enjoyed knowing the Muggles feared her. Hers is a complex personality and she's a grey character, and I love that. So far, I am liking her and would love to see what role she plays in the story.

I expect the story to be quite spooky and interesting, judging by the prologue. I certainly hope that it is as intense as this chapter was. Your descriptions and imagery of course make it all the more engaging, and the narrative flows smoothly.

All in all, I really enjoyed reading this chapter! Please do re-request for the next, or I hope to be able to come back for more myself. I don't have any CC for you and all I'll say, in a nutshell, this was a perfect prologue! Great job!


Author's Response: Hi Angie, thank you so much for your feedback!
This chapter has been edited and edited (with help, hehe).

Man, I really needed a Slytherin's opinion on her - it's crucial the reader finds some aspect of her to like because deep down, she's not evil. It's her upbringing and the times she lives in. And the fact that she's a Slytherin, that plays an important part, haha :D
"some fun at the expense of the Muggles" exactly, she pranks. Like Peeves does. Or like twins do :p
I'm so happy you like Esther!! ♥

Yes, it's going to be spooky indeed! I'm looking forward to your feedback on the following chapter!
I'm always a bit worried about the descriptions, I try not to be too much of a Balzac but it's tough to stop describing stuff when I start, haha :D

Again, thank you so much!


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Review #25, by adluvshpgaslights: gaslights

12th November 2015:
Hey there! Random review alert, so I apologise in advance for meaningless gushing xP

Wow, this was splendid. It is so different from what I've usually read around the archives. The poetic rhyming style was interesting and made for such a smooth flowing narrative. Don't call it nonsense - it was a lovely read!

The idea behind you writing this is so sweet - I'm glad you're trying to see past the stigma of overly emotional women. Merlin forbid, I think I'm one of them, so it warms me to see writers like you trying to portray the plight of somebody like Lavender.

I loved how this started off with Lavender all happy and sweet and excited about the whole "love" thing - it made a lot of sense for a sixteen year old girl to act like that - and then it was sad to see her emotions come crashing down as the story progressed. The ending was quite powerful and nicely done too. It showed how much the incident changed her. She was understandably upset and angry, and the emotion showed.

I dont know what else to say except Wow! I had not thought it'd be possible to rhyme so much and at the same time get a story out of it plus make it all so beautiful sounding. But you totally managed the feat. Great job! Glad I dropped by xD


Author's Response: Hi Angie -hugggs- Thank you for dropping by and doing such a sweet random review (and MTA page visit)! You're the best *love*

Awww thanks. I'm glad you feel this is different and lovely. Yes, I'm definitely trying to eliminate all the backwards feels on, well, feelings. I'm emotional too and there's nothing wrong with that, nor should there be :)

Yes Lav was definitely jaded, ideally a bit more grounded in her next approach to finding love, and will find someone that truly likes her and wants to get to know her in the future! Glad you felt that I captured the emotions and everything in such a short amount of words, and in a rhyming fashion haha. Thanks again, darling!


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