Reading Reviews From Member: adluvshp
  
1,753 Reviews Found

Review #1, by adluvshpAn inky black heart.: The ebony vessel.

7th December 2014:
Hey! Here for the TGS review exchange. Sorry for the delay!

This was very, very interesting and awesomely written. I'm not a huge Snape/Lily fan either (I prefer James/Lily) and I always felt that Snape's 'love' for Lily was more obsession than anything, so I really liked how you wrote this. I loved the way you portrayed Snape's thoughts. The writing style was also very catching with the word repetitions. The entire idea of Lily haunting him, and the way he felt for her, all mixed emotions and stuff, was all very nicely done.

All in all, great job! I'm glad I read this =)

10/10
Cheers
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Hey there Aditi and it's no problem!

I'm glad that you liked it as that means a lot to me. Yes, even though I don't like Snape/Lily I still think it's possibly the most interesting relationship to explore in the HP world as no one really knows what went on between them which is why writing this was so much fun!

Thanks for the great review! :D

-Kiana


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Review #2, by adluvshpThestrals: Sirius

21st November 2014:
Hey! Here for review tag!

Wow, this was just, wow. I have no words. My heart broke reading this. You captured young Sirius' personality so beautifully. His pain, his hatred for his family, his sense of loneliness, everything was perfect. I loved how you gave the story of Sirius leaving home an original spin - of why he did it that day - and it was painful and interesting and just awesome. It is also intriguing how you've based this entire collection on the theme of death/thestrals, morbid but interesting!

I really, really am glad that I read this because it was an awesome piece of writing. Good work!

Cheers,
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Heya!

This is probably the darkest piece I've ever written, so I was really nervous about posting this. I'm glad you liked it. Getting Sirius' feelings across in so few words was a challenge. And I'm quite surprised by how well this theme worked out actually! Thanks so much for the wonderful review :)


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Review #3, by adluvshpCreeper: Creeper

20th November 2014:
Hey! Here for review tag!

Wow, this was a very interesting one-shot. The idea of those creepy creepers was indeed chilling and fitting for a Halloween theme. Uh I really wish Teddy had bought a gift earlier and not gone to Hogsmede on Halloween, and not bought that dreadful creeper. Poor Vic =(

I loved how you captured the essence of the story in mere 500 words. The descriptions were spot on and the plot of course was very chilling. The only CC I'd give if I had to was to look over the grammar once more. I think there were a few problems with the tenses in the middle - but apart from that, this was great!

Cheers,
AD (AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Hi there! It was great so wake up to such a nice review! :)

I was thinking about this plot long before I posted it, but the right inspiration wasn't coming along. But there was this Halloween Story writing challenge and this idea seemed perfect for it.

Oh, I know! But that was the mistake. He should have listened to the rumors. :( I felt pretty bad while writing this too, but it is still one of my best writings on this website. :)

Thank you! It wasn't easy at all. I had to edit this again and again and again to make it exactly 500 words long. But no doubt it was super fun and an exciting challenge.

I have revised this before, but I'll go back and look for errors once again. Thanks for letting me know!

Thank you for the lovely review! :D

Ashwini


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Review #4, by adluvshpHer Choice : A New Beginning

15th November 2014:
Hey! Here for your requested review from the forums =)

I think this was a good start to your story. I definitely like the plot of Laynie being related to Malfoys and living with them. I definitely look forward to her being given the task of luring Harry to Voldemort. You've set up the entire thing quite well and given all the background info needed in this first chapter. I quite like Laynie's characterisation so far as well, she seems to be innocent and sweet and caring, and it'd be interesting to see how she fits in now in her new world.

I definitely think the story is quite interesting. I don't know about other people but I'd definitely like to read this further and see the direction the plot is headed in. Your narrative is more or less perfect with only a few grammar mistakes here and there, and the entire thing flowed smoothly.

I really liked this so please do re-request as I would love to read further. Good job!

Cheers,
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Hey AD,
I was so excited to see that you had posted!! :)
I am even more excited that you like it so far!!! :):):)
I am Def going to come back and rerequest! I am so happy you don't see any flaws with my story so far and that I'm doing pretty good. Thanks so much for stopping by and reviewing!

-Lindsey


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Review #5, by adluvshpHunger: Hunger

10th November 2014:
Hey! Here for your requested review =)

Wow, this was so very creepy. I honestly shivered at Fenrir's thoughts. It was kind of disgusting and yet terrifying at the same time. The way Fenrir seemed delighted to be this monster, how he fantasised about taking her - both as a man and a wolf - was so spooky and horrible and chilling. I really felt for the poor girl.

The story somehow reminded me of red riding hood, just a very, very darker version of the same. I think it was something about the girl's red cape. I definitely enjoyed this version more though; I love reading such dark and creepy stories that make you question the morals of the characters. In this case, Fenrir did not have any morality at all, and it was interesting how the wolf had overpowered his man form. The only 'human' thoughts he had were of taking the girl for himself in an 'inappropriate' manner, with no regard for her pain or sorrow. Even his humanity was that of a monster, and I loved that.

I think you definitely nailed Fenrir's character here. I saw a hint of this kind of monstrosity in him in canon (especially towards Hermione), so it's interesting how you took that and expanded upon it. Your descriptions were vivid and amazing and made me see everything through his eyes - I was in his head - and that was brilliantly done.

The writing style was awesome as well, your use of vocabulary and imagery was wonderful. The entire narrative flowed smoothly and I didn't see any issues with anything at all. The emotions underlying the story were very nicely captured and the wolf/man's hunger was beautifully illustrated. I really, really loved reading this - it was so thrilling.

The only little CC that I have is that I noticed a few small grammatical errors here and there. A couple of misplaced commas, like "it's" instead of "its" and so on, which I think can be corrected easily with a thorough re-read. Besides that, I don't have any CC to give you because really, this one shot was perfect and I had a great time reading it.

Good job!
-AditiDraco95

Author's Response: Hey Aditi!

Thanks so much. It was a lot of fun to write this one, and I really wanted to nail the idea of Fenrir being so morally bankrupt. In Cannon he's described as reveling in being a werewolf rather than believing it to be a curse so I wanted to capture that and illustrate the utter lack of humanity and compassion that others possess.

I will definitely give it another read through and fix those mistake! Thanks so much for reviewing!

xx-Wolfgirl


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Review #6, by adluvshpHurting You: Hurting You

8th November 2014:
Hey! Here for the review swap.

This was a sad little one-shot. I liked your plot idea, it was interesting and fresh. The fact that Harry was dead was very sad indeed. Poor Lily, she couldn't tell him everything she wanted to when he was alive. I definitely felt for her.

I liked the way you expressed the entire story by mostly using Lily's dialogue. It was nicely done. However, for some constructive criticism, I'd suggest to include a bit more description of her thoughts and feelings rather than have her say everything; more description of the past situation and the current surroundings, rather than just using dialogue to convey it all. It would definitely make the narrative flow better in my opinion and improve this wonderful piece of writing. I'd also suggest to go over the spelling and grammar as I did notice a few mistakes here and there; or you could get a beta to look that over for you.

Besides that, I really did like reading this. The emotions were deeply set and I felt for Lily, could relate with her. Her love for dancing, her regret of leaving home and of never visiting/writing, her frustration with not being good enough and with the Potter name, came through quite well. The ending was bittersweet and fitting to the story.

All in all, I think this was very good though it certainly does have room for improvement. Good job!

Thanks for swapping,
Aditi (AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I wrote this quite a while ago so I'll have to go back through it and see if I can add some extra descriptions and things to improve the flow. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

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Review #7, by adluvshpBehind You: Run

8th November 2014:
Hey Sian!

Tagging you back xD

I really, really loved this. The darkness was played on thick and I thoroughly enjoyed it (because I do love these kind of stories). Grindelwald's characterisation was very interesting. I liked how there was a pattern of him 'running' throughout, and running from his 'doppelgänger'. What is even more interesting is that you can almost see Gellert losing his mind slowly yet not really - it's implied but it may or may not be true. I love such unreliable narratives which keep the readers guessing, so brilliant job there.

The inclusion of Dumbledore was very nicely done as well. I especially liked how Gellert was almost guilty of it. I also liked the theme that whenever he made 'bad decisions' the 'doppleganger' appeared - sort of like his decisions and actions haunting him, reinforcing the first bit of the story - he was afraid of himself.

The ending was very powerful and almost made me feel sorry for Gellert. He ultimately tried to stop Voldemort in his own way and I liked the way you portrayed his thoughts during that time.

All in all, this was beautifully written with great descriptions and was very chilling in some places, and I really loved it.

Great job!

Cheers
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Hi Angie!

Yay, I'm so glad you liked this! This story was one of three written in two days to try and madly complete them before a challenge deadline, so the fact you enjoyed it means even more! I definitely wanted to write something dark here, and I'm glad you found Gellert's characterisation interesting, too. Hehe, unreliable narratives are so much fun to write, I love seeing what the reader's reaction is!

I'm glad you picked up on that as well! I kind of saw Gellert's doppelganger as the sort of reinforcement of his conscience in a way, but he's afraid of that because he's done so many awful things.

Gellert did try and stand up to Voldemort at the end and I'm glad you found it powerful and could have some sympathy for him!

Thank you for this great review, it put a big smile on my face! :D


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Review #8, by adluvshpNot At All: She Wasn't Afraid

8th November 2014:
Here for review tag!

This was wonderful! I loved how you conveyed so much in just 500 words. The narrative and flow was beautiful. I loved the repetition of "not at all" as it conveyed Hermione's strength as well as the underlying fear. The way Draco suddenly came and held her and kissed her was interesting. The ending was also very intriguing and I wish there was more to the story - I really want to know how they ended up in that situation, what happened before, what happened after! Ahh so many questions, so much curiosity. But nonetheless, this was great.

Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Hi AD! :)

First off, thank you for the tag. And I'm glad you think that I managed to convey a lot in 500 words. I wrote this such a long time ago that I fear it's just so ugly now but I'm still receiving great feedback for it so I'm happy.

If I am honest, the "not at all" part was the line that was sort of the springboard of this entire fic. I thought about how actions could contradict thoughts and/or how it could be perceived us her utter bravery. Either way, it apparently works.

Since this is my first (and only!) Dramione I have no idea what happened to them before or what happens after. I mean, I love reading Dramione but writing it is a hard ask because it IS so popular and cliches abound. Anyway, I do digress.. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE LOVELY REVIEW.

--Carla


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Review #9, by adluvshpshe's thunderstorms: she's thunderstorms

5th November 2014:
Hey! I saw your status update and decided to check this out =)

It's a beautiful, beautiful story. I loved your writing style, with the little segments describing Luna (thunderstorms, fireworks etc). Your descriptions are amazing and I love them. The guy's love for Luna is also very sweet and I can really feel his emotions as I read. The ending was bittersweet yet made me smile in a way. I also found it interesting that the guy was a painter - that detail was nicely done.

All in all, great story and I loved reading it.

Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

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Review #10, by adluvshpCount Me In: To Die By Your Side: Spring

5th November 2014:
Hello! Here for review swap.

This was a good start to your story. I just feel like there was too much of description focusing on the looks of the characters than was necessary. I did find it strange that Fred and Gemma are the troublemakers rather than Fred and George. You might have to look into not sidelining George as he is Fred's twin.

Rest, this is a good start and looks like an interesting plot.

Thanks for swapping.
-AD (AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Thank you!

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Review #11, by adluvshpNot Yet Over.: Not Yet Over.

3rd November 2014:
Hey! Here for your requested review from the forums.

Wow, this was brilliant! I loved the way you wrote this in a way that makes me wonder whether it was all really in Susan's head or not. I feel like it was, but I can't be too sure haha.

From the beginning, you set the edgy tone to the narrative which was great. I instantly connected with Susan so good job on the voice. I also like how the action of it began from the start itself, with the dark mark appearing and after that things just spiralling out of control in Susan's mind. It was also interesting how she subconsciously knew that her mother would brush off her concerns as trauma (in a way it hinted that Susan herself knew it could just be trauma). The entire story's events were very engaging and kind of creepy (which is good). The ending bit was especially intriguing with Rowle's entry - I am still thinking if Rowle is really evil or not, and was it really her hand writing?

As for your concerns, I think the flow of the scenes was good. They connected nicely and nothing was too abrupt. I was hooked from beginning to end and enjoyed reading it. The mysterious events were just right in my opinion; not too much and not too little.

The only CC I have to give is that I felt the ending was a bit abrupt. I honestly was expecting to read beyond the final sentence. It somehow came off as a rushed ending to a very well developed story. I think you could expand it a paragraph or two at least, develop it into a final narrative of Susan's thoughts or actions, instead of ending it on Rowle's dialogue like that. It's just my opinion though =)

Otherwise, I felt this was quite well written and very interesting. It almost gave me chills. You got the anxiety and emotions across quite well and the descriptions were quite good. Susan's characterisation was nicely done as well.

Great job!

Cheers,
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Thank you so, so much for your review. I was a little unsure about this story as it's rather a new departure for me in a couple of ways. I don't usually write horror and I've never written such a blatantly unreliable narrator.

I intended to leave the question as to whether it was real or in Susan's head up in the air. It's possible there was just a superficial similarity to the handwriting and that Susan overreacted because she was already triggered by Rowle's name. And of course, a lot of purebloods are likely to be related.

I took out a couple of scenes that I'd originally written, but that I felt didn't really add anything and were either becoming repetitive or that seemed cliche and similar to things I've read elsewhere, so I was concerned that might have disrupted the flow. Glad you didn't feel it did.

The abruptness of the ending was partly intended, to leave readers with a degree of uncertainty about what happens next. But I am not very good at endings anyway, so I might take a look and see if that can be improved, while still maintaining the "yikes, what is about to happen?" idea.

I'm glad it succeeded in being creepy, because it was meant to be and since I'm more used to writing trauma than horror, I was afraid it might have veered into that.

Thanks again for the review. When I asked for it, this story didn't have any and I did want to know what people thought of it. So thanks again.


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Review #12, by adluvshpTetraphobia: The three stages

2nd November 2014:
Oh dear, now I think it was a bad idea for me to read this at 1 AM. I feel kinda scared. Definitely sleeping with the lights on tonight xP

I saw your post in the Slytherin Fall Writing Challenge thread and decided to check out the story, and I don't regret it. This was a beautifully written piece. You got Hermione's voice so well. I especially loved the way you described all her phobias and stuff. It was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. It seriously gave me the chills and I don't exaggerate when I say I am quite scared to open my curtains now haha.

All in all, brilliant brilliant one-shot. I really want to see more of this though, I want to see this grow into a short story perhaps and get to know more about this inhuman monster which only Hermione is able to sense. So please expand this!!

10/10
Cheers,
AD
(AditiDraco95)

P.S. Adding to favourites xD

Author's Response: Hi Aditi!

You have no idea how happy this review of yours made me! Mostly because it was so unexpected, and I love those kind of reviews.
I may be evil, I don't know, but I'm so glad that you got scared :P
I actually re-read it a few times before posting it and I thought to myself that it wasn't scary enough, haha. So it's nice to see that I scared at least one reader :P

Thank you so much for your review! I love it to bits! I'll make sure to read your entry as soon as I can!

- Avi


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Review #13, by adluvshpEfflorescence : The 1st of September

27th October 2014:
Hello! Here for your requested review from the forums =)

I'll have to say, this is a great start! For your first fan fiction ever, you're doing so well (my first was rubbish) so kudos xD

I like your OC already. Ellie is quite engaging and her little brother makes me laugh. I love how the household is this typical haywire household, reminds me of the Weasleys (except smaller).

As for the flow and grammar, I do think you have a couple of misplaced/missing commas etc. here and there, so I'd suggest going over this thoroughly or getting a beta to help you sort those. The flow was over all okay, but it could have done with more polishing - possibly better connection between dialogue and description?

That aside, I do like your writing style and liked the dialogues as well. I just think you need a bit more of description to smooth things over. Your story seems interesting and I like how you've set the plot here - the information you've given is just perfect for the intro.

All in all, this looks like a great start and your story seems to be headed in a good direction. With just a bit more of polishing, you'll be on your way to amazing writing =) Keep it up!

Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

P.S. I hope I didn't come across as too harsh. I really did enjoy reading this, so feel free to re-request!

Author's Response: Hi, thanks for your review! (it wasn't too harsh, don't worry haha)

I'm glad you enjoyed the start of the story :)

Thanks for the advice too, it's so helpful with this first chapter!

xx


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Review #14, by adluvshpLegos: Legos

27th October 2014:
Review Tag!

Haha this was a cute little fic. I really enjoyed reading it and found myself smiling along. It is interesting how the ship was Draco/Luna. I also liked how Luna was so much in character. Draco was just adorable.

When it started, I felt like this was some opening into a dark angst stuff; like he was being attacked; but then it turned out to be a lego and I couldn't help but chuckle.

All in all, a sweet and amusing one-shot that I liked =)

cheers,
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Hey!

I always am a little surprised when reviews pop up on some of my old stuff. I'm glad you enjoyed it! I got the first line and the pairing from the challenge (if I remember correctly...? hah) so it was quite fun to turn that line back around and make it something so trivial.

Thanks for reading/reviewing,
Julie


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Review #15, by adluvshpAlways: Always

27th October 2014:
Hello! Here for Slytherin review tag.

This was such a sweet and touching story. I really liked the way you showed Severus' pain and his love for Lily. His thoughts were spot on, and the ending made me smile.

The conversation between him and Dumbledore was also quite interesting. You managed to write Dumbledore's dialogues well enough and that's good =)

One little CC - I felt this was slightly lacking in flow and would have loved to see a better connection between description and dialogue. Otherwise, it was great.

It was interesting how this was a slightly different way of showing what had happened, and I enjoyed reading it. The emotions especially came across beautifully.

Cheers,
AD
(AditiDraco95)

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Review #16, by adluvshpWhen The Storm Breaks: Good Night, Good Luck

20th October 2014:
Hi Lia!

I am here for the much, much delayed TGS review exchange (from September). Sorry for the delay!

This was a great beginning to the story and I loved it. I love your portrayal of Lucius. You've really shown him in a different light here and it's quite interesting. I also like how you've shown the Malfoy family household and its members.

This chapter was a great way to set the scene, introduce the characters, and shed some light on Lucius' thoughts and feelings. The way the events of Voldemort's rise tie in with it is nicely done and I'm curious to see in which direction the story is headed.

Great job!
Cheers,
AD
(AditiDraco95)

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Review #17, by adluvshpSymphony: Chapter One

19th October 2014:
Hello! I am here for the much, much late Slytherin Review Exchange (September). I had had a very busy couple weeks and I forgot all about this, but I want to complete my review now =)

I think this is a wonderful start to your story. It has set the scene and spiked the reader's interest greatly. Your writing style is brilliant and the story concept looks great. I never dwelled much on the fact of giants being involved in the war so it's cool you've picked this up. It's original and fresh. Your narrator is also so interesting; I am very curious to know who he/she/it is. I feel like it's "death" who is narrating, or perhaps a ghost, but I can't be sure.

I also loved your descriptions over all and the eerie feel to the chapter. I hope you continue to write this way for the rest of the story too as it's definitely very captivating.

Great work so far!

Cheers,
AD
(AditiDraco95)

P.S. I'm also your NaNo mommy and I'd love to see you work on this story too xD

Author's Response: Hi!

Don't worry about it - I completely understand that RL can be a killer :)

Thanks for the comment about the style - this is the first time I've written something using that kind of voice/tone. I think I sort of see it as very similar to a monologue from a play, if that makes sense? Everything in there has to be the kind of thing the narrator would say, which is proving a very enjoyable challenge!

On the giants - well, I wanted to write a Marauders-era short story that was different to the more usual James, Sirius etc perspectives, and explore how the UK as a whole was affected by the first war. The concept and the style became clear after I read Nemirovsky's 'Suite Francaise', which as about the mass exodus from Paris during WWII.

Ah, the Narrator :) 'Death' or a 'ghost' are very good guesses. You're close to who/what the narrator actually is, but I can't reveal more than this: I do promise that all shall be revealed in the end.

Eerie is what I was going for, and I've tried to keep the tone consistent in the next chapters - that's the aim. They are all narrated by the same narrator, but deal with various different aspects of the war.

It would be nice to work on this for NaNo, wouldn't it? But I think Monopoly alone is going to be an interesting challenge, so we'll see :)

Thanks so much for the review, and I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Celi xxx


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Review #18, by adluvshpPython: Python

18th October 2014:
Hello! Here for your requested review from the forums!

Wow, this was one creepy story. It definitely gave me the chills! I loved how you wrote this on a character like Mulciber who is very underwritten. Your portrayal of him was quite interesting, especially as a child. I loved how you maintained the theme of 'snakes' throughout. The idea of him being subjected to such cruelty since he was a kid, and then turning out the way he did by the time he got older, was spot on, and made me feel for him as well. The ending was haunting, and I swear I had a little shiver on reading that last sentence.

There're two little typos I noticed by the way -

"It was funny how similar Azkaban is to your mother’s house" - I think since your entire story is in present tense, it should be "It is funny" and not "was funny".

"A tall, wiry lady enters the room holding something had makes your insides scream" - it should be "holding something that makes your".

Apart from that, I didn't see any glaring mistakes. As for your concerns, I think this flowed beautifully. It made for a captivating smooth read and I was hooked. I actually like the year-jumps and it wasn't confusing at all. All in all, I quite enjoyed this and loved it. This was a definitely a well-written piece and great plot with superb characterisation (the mother gave me the chills)!

9/10

Cheers,
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this wonderful review! This probably my first venture into the genre of horror and so I'm going to take the fact that it gave you chills as a compliment ;)

Mulciber, like you mentioned, is a character that hardly ever features around the archives and that was one of the reasons I really wanted to write about him. I thought that an underwritten character would give me a bit of flexibility to write want I wanted, even if it was not strictly canon. Strangely enough, Mulciber actually did attack Mary in the books, something I only realized after I wrote the story. It is funny how coincidences work out!

Ah, thanks a million for pointing out the typos; I would never have found them myself. I'm fixing them as soon as I post this reply :)

I'm thrilled you liked the time jumps and the characterization of the mother and trust me, I was definitely freaking out when I re read this. Thank you once again for this fabulous review and I will be sure to request again once I get the chance!



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Review #19, by adluvshpHermione Granger and the Dead Man's Mark: Chapter One

15th October 2014:
Hello! I'm finally here with your requested review. I'm so sorry for the delay!

This story is definitely very intriguing and very interesting. I love your plot concept - it's so unique! The writing style is also amazing; there is a smooth beautiful flow to the narrative and I love that. I quite like your characterisations so far too, especially Weston, Imogen and Norman.

The entire chapter had this dark mysterious feel to it, and drew me in throughout. As for your concerns, I didn't really spot anything out of canon; but maybe I'm not the best person to judge that because I do write and read AU a lot.

Nonetheless, to me, this was an amazing start to what seems to be a great story, so do keep writing. I loved this chapter and don't have any CC to give you!

Cheers,
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Thank you for the review and the feedback! I'm glad that you enjoyed the chapter, and if you do decide to read on, I hope you enjoy the rest of the story thus far!

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Review #20, by adluvshpThe Monopoly on Honour: Do we not Suffer?

15th October 2014:
Hello! I'm finally here with your requested review; though I'm awfully late with it so I'm really sorry! RL had me swamped!

Anyway, I think this was a brilliant start to your story. I love how the entire thing is so dark and yet so emotion-evoking. It is really beautifully written and had me hooked from beginning to end of the chapter. The backdrop of the story is this complex politics and I love that; it's so different from the usual Draco/Astoria romances out there.

I absolutely love your characterisations of Draco and Astoria as well. I think you've got them crafted out pretty well and in quite a realistic manner. Plot-wise, you've introduced just enough in this first chapter without giving a lot away, and as I say, moderation is the key, so I love that. The scene is set, the characters pretty much introduced, and yet there are some underlying themes waiting to be revealed, so it maintains the reader interest.

Ooh and I also have to say that I like your portrayal of Lucius. It is quite different from how we usually see him portrayed, but nonetheless, it's unique and interesting, and certainly believable with your writing style.

Great job so far, and I don't have any CC to give you!

Cheers,
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Hi!

Don't worry about it - RL happens to us all :)

Thank you so much for such a kind review, it really is so encouraging, especially as it's now my NaNo rebel project :) Dark and emotional was what I was going for - I'm starting to think it's the only sort of thing I can write haha :p

Ah, complex politics indeed. It was one of the starting themes of the story - I wanted to write something which really explored both Pureblood and also wider Wizarding politics - and what better time to choose than just after Voldemort's Fall, and as concerns Draco and Astoria specifically, what made them the people we see in the Next-Gen?

Underlying themes, yes, the story expands into the wider world after the third chapter, when we leave Malfoy Manor, and are introduced to a third faction. The scene is set indeed, and now the pieces must indeed begin to move.

Ah, Lucius. Definitely one of my favourite characters to write, because he's just so interesting and fascinating. I wanted to go beyond the archetypical portrayal of Lucius as a cold-hearted villain; that said - am I planning on making him a hero? Not in the slightest :)

I'm glad you enjoyed it, thanks so much once again for the review :)

Celi xxx


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Review #21, by adluvshpRose-Coloured Glasses: Real beaches have sand

15th October 2014:
Hello! I'm here with your requested review. I'm incredibly sorry about the longest of waits but RL had me swamped.

I am not a huge fan of next-gen fics, sometimes I feel like there're too many 'plots' that are just overdone, but I really like your story! I think what you've got here is quite interesting and a bit apart from the rest of the Teddy/Vic fan fiction out there so I quite enjoyed this first chapter.

Your writing style is pretty good and your setting for the plot looks cool. I definitely didn't find this boring at all. It made for a fun read. As for characterisation, since this is the first chapter, I can't comment too much on it just yet, but I do like how you've portrayed Teddy here, and Jean too.

The only CC I have to give is perhaps to work on the flow of your narrative by trying to balance the dialogues and description. Instead of having 1 big paragraph describing something, break it down between dialogues. And with dialogues, add some description about the person/surroundings/emotions etc. That will definitely bring more colour to the story.

Apart from that, this made for a great read and I quite enjoyed this. I think you've got a very good story here so do keep writing. Feel free to re-request!

Cheers,
AD
(AditiDraco95)

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Review #22, by adluvshpBurned by Ice: Frostbite

9th October 2014:
Hello! Here for review tag. I am also combining this with your challenge prize review (Color and Emotion challenge) =)

This was a very powerful and beautifully written piece, despite being so short. I loved your descriptions. The idea of Helena in her dying state was interesting and I enjoyed the way you portrayed her final thoughts. The concept of the door knocker was amusing and the question was thoughtful. I also liked how you wove that in with Helena's own personality.

All in all, a great little narrative, and surely a bit creepy. I had fun reading this! Now, 4 reviews remain to be given =)

Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Hello! Thanks for dropping by!

Ah! Thank you so much! I think I can only write descriptions when I write 500-word stories. Otherwise, I get stumped :P I'm really glad that you enjoyed it! It's a different sort of story from what I've written before, but I still really enjoyed myself.

Thanks for the lovely review :)


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Review #23, by adluvshpSunshine: Hero

7th September 2014:
Hello!

Here with Prize Review #2 for Colour and Emotion Challenge!

I apologise for the long time I'm taking to review your stories but I'm so busy with so much going on, I'm getting little time... it will probably take me a while to get all the prize reviews done.

Anyway, this was a wonderful little chapter! I adored the way you wrote Neville. The insecurity, the question, of who Neville is now was very realistically written. His thoughts were justified and I liked how you portrayed them. It was also sweet how this ended on a positive note with Neville realising that he was still a hero, that the war was finally over, and him looking at Hannah.

I think this is going to be an awesome collection of Neville/Hannah moments so I'm looking forward to read more of it. This one indeed was perfect - great characterisation, narrative, flow, and grammar =)

Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Hi Aditi :)

Don't worry about the timing ad stuff. I know how hard it can be to juggle fanfic with real life sometimes. I believe you started off in a new uni? All the best with that! :)

I'm really glad you liked my take on Neville. I was so nervous about messing up with him because he's such an amazing character! Your words are very reassuring.

Yay! I'm glad that you're looking forward for more. I'm definitely going to fill this with smile worthy moments. Or at least, I'll try. I hope to see you back soon :) Thank you for all your kind words. Your review is so sweet and it really made me smile!


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Review #24, by adluvshpTraitorous Hearts: An Unwelcome Visitor

7th September 2014:
Hello! Here for the Slytherin Review Exchange!

I quite enjoyed this first chapter. It seems like a very interesting story and you started it out well. The plot has been set, the setting ready, and the characters introduced very nicely. I like Astoria's characterisation, and the way you've portrayed Draco from her eyes too. Their interaction was interesting to read, and I liked it. The whole plot concept itself is intriguing, and all in all I enjoyed this very much. I'd love to read further and see what happens next so I'm going to add the story to my reading list and favourite it too =)

It's a great start so keep going!

-AD
(AditiDraco95)

P.S. I noticed you set the era for the story as "Hogwarts" but this seems to be a Post-Hogwarts story so I'd suggest correcting that to avoid misleading the readers =)

Author's Response: Hi AD!

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. And that you were intrigued. :D I'd love *for* you to read further and see what happens next. Totally honored to be on your reading list, and to be favorited!

And I shall definitely keep going. New chapter should be coming soon.

Oh, and about your postscript: the story is actually during the Hogwarts era. It begins during Easter Holidays in DH. However, you aren't the first one to think that, and I thank you for mentioning it. I had meant to go in and make an adjustment in that first chapter, to clarify, and I forgot to do it. Thanks for reminding me! I appreciate the CC :)

--Penny


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Review #25, by adluvshpA Moment of Fear: Lily

27th August 2014:
Hello! Here for TGS review exchange.

This is a very nice idea for a short story collection, and I liked this first chapter very much. It was interesting how your focus was on Lily's fear of marriage rather than the whole war thing. Marriage is a big step and any man/woman is bound to get nervous on their wedding day. I think you portrayed lily's nervousness and fear very well. Her question of whether she could continue to love James in the "unforeseeable" future was a very apt one. It is kind of sad that the couple never got that far though... but anyway, you got her thoughts and feelings right in my opinion.

The setting of the story was good too, and I liked the brief mention of Petunia. The memory of James' proposal was sweet too; I liked how it wasn't all fancy and extravagant but rather quite simple. Lily's parents were also included in the chapter fairly well.

All in all, good job! it made for a nice little read and I enjoyed it!

Cheers,
AD
(AditiDraco95)

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