Reading Reviews From Member: jane pinkerton
  
63 Reviews Found

Review #1, by jane pinkertonMeant to Be: Sisterly Bonding

1st March 2011:
you know, i actually really like the thought of Lily and Petunia getting along together! This worked out really nicely for the chapter. I like the direction the story is heading in too.
Just a few grammar mistakes i noticed though (they're instead of their and what what not)
Other than that! Really good chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks so much for your review! I think I spotted the mistake you pointed out--thanks, it completely slipped by me.

I also really like Petunia and Lily getting along, and actually feel like they probably got along better than most stories show. At the very least we know that Petunia was once in the presence of James and Lily while they were discussing Azkaban and dementors, which isn't exactly dinner conversation (especially if someone there hated magic). In my opinion it almost certainly has to be an evolution.

Once again, thanks so much! I love reviews and they're even better when they come from a writer whose fanfiction I've enjoyed reading myself!!


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Review #2, by jane pinkertonTonight: A Pink Forest

26th January 2011:
Hey there fellow Puff! (;
LOL! so definitely a very creative way to have James ask out Lily. I also like how you gave the time since James had start asking her out (As Potion's partners in 1st year) instead of leaving the reader to automatically assume that he just one day started asking her out for no reason.
I think the only thing I'd have to point out is the amount of exclamation points you use right there at the end when Lily's yelling at James. I get trying to emphasize how man she is, but I would suggest using italics with only one or two exclamation points instead.
Great job though! Hehe this was perfect cause I love James&Lily stories XD

Author's Response: Thanks a lot! The exclamation points is a very good tip, thanks a lot for that! :)

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Review #3, by jane pinkertonPlease throw me OVERBOARD: Winner

26th January 2011:
i like the creative plot of this! gives us something new instead of the usual stuff! The only thing I'd have to point out are some grammar mistakes. Nothing too major, just some 'they're' instead of 'their'. other than that though, sounds good! :)

Author's Response: Thanks, I wrote this story a long while ago, so there is probably a lot of grammar mistakes.

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Review #4, by jane pinkertonLost In Magic: Chapter Seven: Hogsmeade Mischief

13th January 2011:
awww regulus! i love that you brought him in! plus the conflict with sirius actually trying to do what he though would be best for her. awe...i hope she and the Marauders find a way to be friends though! eek! i'm excited to read on. hehe
great job!

Author's Response: I love Regulus too! I think he is very strong character who should of had more limelight, he was much, much braver than Draco, but oh well. Yes, Sirius thought he was going what was best for her, however Sophie thought he had ulterior motives and plus she knew Regulus' back story and trusted him. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter!

XOXO WildFlower!


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Review #5, by jane pinkertonLost In Magic: Chapter Five: Sorting Us Out

13th January 2011:
so at first i totally thought it was going to be Sirius or one of the Marauders who was defending Sophie from Brown, but it was totally--i means tots cute that it was Michael! hehe!
another good chapter! :D

Author's Response: I wanted her to be distanced from the Marauders first because there are too many stories in which a new witch becomes friends with them too quickly, I think they wouldn't let anybody into their group, especially some new witch, no matter how kind she and they are. Also I loved writing Matthew, he was truly a hero for being there when no one else was for the girls.

Thanks again Jane! Glad you enjoyed!

XOXO WildFlower!


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Review #6, by jane pinkertonLost In Magic: Chapter Two: Here To Stay

13th January 2011:
ahahah oh my goodness. i think running into Hogwarts Prefect Lily would be scarier than being caught by McGonagall!
good chapter :)

Author's Response: LOL! You're not wrong! I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter!

XOXO WildFlower!


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Review #7, by jane pinkertonFunny Business: The Marauders Proudly Present: Sexual Education

11th January 2011:
bahaha i love it. I was laughing throughout the story. :D

Author's Response: Glad to hear it! Thanks for your review! :)

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Review #8, by jane pinkertonLiving At The Potters: Badge of Honour

2nd January 2011:
aww good last sentence "And she couldn't se any good reason to not live with James for the rest of her life." too cute

Author's Response: Thank you!

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Review #9, by jane pinkertonLiving At The Potters: Love and Pain

2nd January 2011:
oh no! poor sirius! but at the same time yay for james and lily! ahh! my emotions are torn between being happy and sad. lol!
good chappie though! haha!

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #10, by jane pinkertonLiving At The Potters: The History Of The Snake

2nd January 2011:
ahhh! in short terms, i love this chapter! great job :D

Author's Response: Awesome, thanks so much for coming back and reviewing more!

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Review #11, by jane pinkertonLiving At The Potters: Warfare

29th December 2010:
awww.poor lily.
man why couldn't she just go to james! she's kind of leading on remus like sirius warned her not to!
her moment with remus seemed a little rushed. it would've been nice to be a little more dragged out, but still a very good chapter :) great job!

Author's Response: Thanks for the critique, you're right, it is rushed, my only reasoning for it is that with them all under one roof, and Lily being around 24/7 which they would not be used to, all kinds of feelings would come bubbling up. (Plus, when I read a story I don't like waiting around for something to happen so I kept that in mind!)

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Review #12, by jane pinkertonButterflies: Could Things Get Anymore Awkward?

28th December 2010:
I would be extremely interested in reading number thre! (at least i'm pretty sure you haven't written it yet.) this was also fantastic! Gives a great.err where's there phrase i'm looking for? i guess like a great filler for between what happened and what will happen? lol!
i think what i'm trying to say is that i'm glad you didn't rush them into their relationship and an instead used this to build--oh!! there's the word! to build up to the next one! jeez talk about a goober moment! lol!
but again, great dialogue, great use of description with their inner feelings and then what they're showing on the outside.
it was all fantastic (:

Author's Response: Hi again! :D Haha, nooope, haven't written it yet. Got a general idea of what's going to happen, but, ah, that looks like it may change soon. I'm just deciding whether to make it a five part or a three part series... hmm. xD Well I'm glad you like this one, I wasn't too sure if people would still like it but apparently they did. Haha. LOL. Goober moment XD You know I almost wrote hoover then? O.o Haha, very glad you liked it all again. And thanks for another awesomesauce review, THANK YOU!

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Review #13, by jane pinkertonFireworks: Purely Between Friends

28th December 2010:
aw!! Prongsie!! That was SO good!!
i can honestly say i loved it! you use their ages well, like they're getting older, but still in that awkward young teen stage where they can't figure out if their feelings are purely emotional or physical.
also, dialogue was good and realistic between teddy and victoire. i don't know if teddy should've been so abrupt with his grandma, but at the same time it fit the moment, if that makes sense. lol!
i'm too excited to go read the sequel now! eek!

Author's Response: OMG. JANE! *blushes like mega loads* < this I do when anyone I know reads my stories XD
Anyway. WOOHOO, I'm glad you liked it!! Yeah, definitely awkward, but in the sequel they're olderrr and they might even have an epiphany... :P Oh, haha, well I'm very abrupt with my Grandma, but she's always very good with my temper XD Although perhaps Ted shouldn't have been so mean... ah well. Well, I'm very glad you liked it, its awesomesauce to see you on one of my stories (especially someone who writes as well as you!) and thanks for the review! :D


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Review #14, by jane pinkertonLa Souvenance: One

25th December 2010:
Merry Christmas BBG!! :D so on a regular day if i had come across this story I probably wouldn't have clicked on it bc I'm such a die hard James&Lily reader, but I'm so glad I read this!
First off you give readers a really good and relatable subject! I personally am constantly going through this (my boyfriend and sister **rolls eyes**) so it's nice to read about someone else going through it and (eventually) learning how to deal with it!
I also like that you used minor characters for this. It's not everyday that you read something strictly about Susan and you give her a really good personality that, like the subject, readers can relate to!
The way you set up the story both in the intro and showing how the rest of the chapters will be written is really good. Cause sometimes authors kind of throw you into the middle of the situation like a break up and it can just get confusing! But you did it straight to the point without complicating it. I think it'll be really interesting to read the future chapters and see how they go through her memories and then see Susan's reaction to it afterwards.
I can't wait to learn more about Theo's character. At one point Susan says, "You know how he is..." but I don't! So I'm wondering if he has a small temper or something? I don't know! So it'll be interesting to get to know him.
With all of that being said, I really like it! LOL! I'm definitely going to be keeping an eye on this for future chapters!
Again, Merry Christmas!! I hope you enjoy every moment of them!
p.s. I tried to be cool like tinny cause she leaves awesome reviews that hit on like every aspect of the chapter, but I still can't reach her awesome detailing! lol! anywho...haha merry christmas!!

Author's Response: Haii, lovely! ♥

Thank you so much for leaving such a wonderful review -- and the very first one, at that! *hands over some chocolate bars and cookies*

As you might have noticed, I have a thing for obscure ships, and I also completely understand that it might not appeal to readers right away. However, I'm so happy that you enjoyed this and liked Susan despite being a minor character. But what makes me even happier is the fact that you thought I wrote this in a relatable manner because that is what I want to achieve with my writing -- for people to be able to identify with the characters and the events, even if they haven't necessarily experienced them (yet). I was also a bit worried that starting out with a break up might not work or might be too confusing, but I'm glad you thought otherwise. *does happy dance* I certainly hope the subsequent chapters won't disappoint (if I ever do get around to posting them :P).

Again, my sincerest thanks for such a lovely review/Christmas present. I truly am all smiles right now. :) :) :)


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Review #15, by jane pinkertonAs Lovers Go: A Reaction

8th December 2010:
good story! It wasn't one of those where Lily just instantly loves him; instead you let us know that she had had feelings for him for a while. also! you didn't make Lily do anything too un-Lily like, like some people also do!
so overall, great job! :D

Author's Response: Why, thank you very much. I'm extremely glad you feel that way. I'm also grateful you took the time to let me know!

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Review #16, by jane pinkertonJust a Taste: Adore

23rd November 2010:
hmmm it's kind of a cliche approach, but i like it! there are few people who can write plots like this in a like-able way, and i think you're one of those few! i guess we'll find out (;
i really liked this chapter. hehe!

Author's Response: that's such a nice compliment, thank you! i hope you enjoy the rest!

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Review #17, by jane pinkertonJust a Taste: Just a Taste

23rd November 2010:
oOoo!! I love this first chapter! You wrote it really well! I always love Lily/Snape confrontations! eek!

Author's Response: thank you! it started out as just a one-shot then grew into a full story. i'm glad you liked it!

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Review #18, by jane pinkertonJames: James and Evans

9th November 2010:
awe i really liked this! it was really cute with its play by play set up. i also like how you played remus's part, who always seems to know everything, and the little hints that James is also falling for Lily. Great job! :)

Author's Response: :) Thanks! I'm glad you liked it.

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Review #19, by jane pinkertonLily and James: The Abridged Story: Lily and James: The Abridged Story

9th November 2010:
awe this was actually really cute! it would've made a great novella/novel, but it works just as great as this! great writing! :D

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Review #20, by jane pinkertonWarmness On The Soul: I Give My Heart To You

29th October 2010:
Super cute!! XD I like the flashbacks you used to tell their history-i almost laughed literally out loud when the poor boy tripped! I read quite a few stories where they have Lily do the 'kiss James and run' thing, but I think you make it work decently in your story. The only thing I'd have to suggest is maybe when that part comes transition from Lily being furious to flirty a little more swiftly cause it's like she's storming away from him, but then she's showing him her dimple and it seemed a little too quick for me...
but all in all, you did a great job! it was super cute! good luck in the challenge (if a winner hasn't been chosen yet. hehe)!!

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad that you enjoyed the story, and I'm glad for the feedback. I'll give that bit a second look :) Thanks again for the review!

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Review #21, by jane pinkertonThe Way I Love You: The Way I Love You

29th October 2010:
hi there! I'm a big T-Swizzle fan so I decided to read. hehe! you should definitely get a summary up though. I get what you mean by what a pain in the butt they are to write, but they really do help bring in readers! People in the forums are really great in helping with that kind of stuff :)
about your story though! very cute! I like how you did both points of view leading up to the big moment, though in the beginning I felt like it was a little rushed with her muggle bf. I liked you made him understanding though of her feelings. it's always nice when a boy isn't a jerk. haha!
The only other thing I noticed was the big spaces between the writing...maybe you could cut it down to just double spacing? Just so the readers don't have to do so much scrolling! Just a suggestion (;
Good job though! Taylor would be proud for her song to be used for such a cute romance. XD

Author's Response: wow thanks! possibly the longest review ive ever got!
I tried to write a summary but it got too long, will write another one though :)
i actually based the muggle boyfriend on my best guy friend, so thank him, not me!
And my stupid retarded computer makes the spaces so big, will fix :)
thanks again XD


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Review #22, by jane pinkertonI Do: I Do

12th October 2010:
oh my gooosh!!! This is so sad, but you wrote it so well! At first I was thought they were the ones getting married and then it just totally looped around and turned into that!
Greatly written! Great story line! Hope you won the challenges with this! XD

Author's Response: Aww, thank you so much. I'm glad that you enjoyed it. :D Thanks for taking time to review! --Jenna

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Review #23, by jane pinkertonThe Beginning of the End: Teaching and Watching

3rd October 2010:
I love the way you have James and Lily's relationship set up! It's not the typical way where he's been in love with her all of these years, obsessing over her blah blah blah. Instead it's more settle and well, normal. lol! I really like it!!
I also like how you have the Marauders trying to help him out and the conflicting Peter! Great job!

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Review #24, by jane pinkertonThe Beginning of the End: Fleeing Filch

3rd October 2010:
hi there! i saw a recommendation for this story on the forums and I'm glad I came over to read it! I've found it hard to find a good James/Lily story--completed even!! And this one so far seems really good! Can't wait to go on to the next chapter!

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Review #25, by jane pinkertonThrough The Eyes Of Love: Someone Told Her....

1st September 2010:
oh no! She can't go home! bo!
oh-- but i loved how they fell asleep together :) very cute. hehe!

Author's Response: you'll have to keep reading to find out! :D
I'm glad you thought it was cute. I think this story over all was a cute one to write... thanks for reading!


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