Bastian seems sweet :)
Yay, Katie and George is back :D They were so cute together! xD
Haha, update soon please!Author's Response: He is rather sweet. Lets just hope he's not too sweet, you know?
Thanks for the review, I'm glad they're back too! Report Review
:D :D :D :D
I wanted to go right to the next chapter but I decided to leave you a review first :D
AH! Why's Bastian there?! Why?
Sorry, I'm dying with anticipation. :D I think I'll just go ahead then xD Great chapter! :)Author's Response: Thank you! For some reason this chapter didn't get as many reviews as they usually do, even with the cliffie. No idea. :) And I'm glad you're dying with anticipation. Exactly the idea...oh, Bastian! Thanks for the review! Report Review
I loved chapter 2! And I forgot to mention it earlier, but your banner is very pretty! :D
Gah, I hate Mrs Wood. She seemed so nice for a while.
A while.Author's Response: Aww, thanks! I'm glad. I really like the banner. I think I'm getting better with graphics. And yeah...poor Oliver with the sucky 'rents. Poo. Thanks for the review!! Report Review
AH. I CAN'T BELIEVE I DIDN'T READ THIS THE SECOND IT WAS OUT. D: NO.
I love this chapter. And especially the JoJo joke. Heh. xDAuthor's Response: I can't believe it either! Where have you been? haha. I'm really glad you like it. The next chapter should be out relatively soon...ish :) Thanks! Report Review
Ahhh! It's over?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Well, at least there's a sequel! *Squee* xD
Ahh, George's speech made me go "awww" as well. :P That's so sweet. :D I love this chapter, and heck, this entire story. :D My favourite part was the end when Oliver and Jane were discussing what kind of woman she was. xD
This story is extraordinary, lovely, awesome, great, splendid and I'm running out of adjectives at the top of my head!
PS. Hahahaa, I know you're really REALLY used to this question but...
Can I have Roger /now/?! :D (Have you found his number yet? xP)Author's Response: I know, it's sad, isn't it?? Over! It seems much such a short span of time since I start working on it in March, but I write ridiculously fast. Case and point, I'm already halfway through the third chapter of the sequel. I'm glad you enjoyed George's speech. I worked very hard on it. Thanks so much for not only every one of your amazing reviews, but also the questions you left me in my Meet the Author thread and the support you gave :) It means a lot to me :)
And yeah, you can have Roger now. I'll get you that number :) Report Review
This chapter was very smooth and interesting. It really captured my attention. I liked your foreshadowing on Moody, it was good. :) Once again, your plotline is very fresh, and I enjoyed reading this very much. Sorry I haven't written much in this review. I'm really tired right now, it's 1am here. *Yawn*
Allright, best of luck with this story, it has a very good foundation - develop on it! :)
-FoxtrottAuthor's Response: Yay!! I'm so happy you enjoyed it. For this story, I want to keep as close to GoF-canon as posssible, hence the little Moody cameo ;). Thank you so much for your review and encouragement!!
~Misty Report Review
Hi! It's me from the forum. :D I'm really sorry I haven't reviewed any earlier. :(
Anyway, I thought this was a very interesting idea, and not many would use this approach for Cedric/OC stories. I also like it that you don't reveal the identity of Cedric in this chapter. :D Nice incorporation of humour into this chapter. It was overall a very enjoyable read, although some parts like the one concerning his St. Mungo's number a bit vague, and took me a while to digest. It's just a suggestion, though.
-FoxtrottAuthor's Response: It's alright, we all have busy real-life ^_^.
I wanted to try something different and fangirls, although apearing in passing in some fics, can have an interesting story behind them and I really wanted to explore its dynamics. Haha, the 'secret identity' thing has a story behind it. I came up with the fangirls first and had a tough time deciding who would be their object of worship. I think I even held a poll over at the HPFF forums. I still couldn't decide but went ahead with writing this chapter. It was only much later when I finally settled on Cedric Diggory. Hence why he isn't mentioned at all. I will look this over on how to improve it. I admit, it isn't as good as it could have been. Thank you for your review!
~Misty Report Review
I found some grammatical mistakes again: "Your footsteps are softer then Remus's," he replied matter-of-factly, not aware of Remus’s shared smile with Hermione. " 'then' should have been 'than' because a comparison is being made. :)
Other than that, I haven't spotted anything else, probably because I was caught up in the story. :) Very good description here, although the dialogues were rather chunky and Sirius suddenly seemed extremely mature and long-winded. >< Just a suggestion, once again, your chapter is nice as it is.
:) Good luck with the rest of your story :)
-FoxtrottAuthor's Response: Thanks for the review! *HUGS* Report Review
Hi! I'm back as you requested, and i apologise for the long wait. :)
This chapter was smooth, good job with the transitions and your striked the right balance between dialogue and description :D
A few grammatical errors here:
"...Cussing about it won’t help. you know!" she replied testily...
-after 'help, it should have been a comma :)
There was one more I spotted, but I can't find it right now... sorry D: Just another proofread should do the trick.
I did think Sirius was a little OOC at some parts, because he was sometimes insensitive (cussing) and loud, but other times he's sensitive and thoughtful of Hermione. But that's just a suggestion. :)
-FoxtrottAuthor's Response: Thank you... I'll take a look-through later. Thanks for the review! Report Review
Hello! Hahahaha, I'm here again ;D
Ahhh, I wish you'd make a longer chapter D: Whenever I was just getting into the story, I scroll down, and realise its over. :(
Hehe, I still admire your description, and you really striked the right balance between dialogue and description, something I often stuggle with. :D
Oh, yeah: '"...we need more." Remus snapped.' I think it should've been a comma after 'more'. :D
Great job :P
-FoxtrottAuthor's Response: Foxtrott!
I promise I'll start doing longer chapters: I hate filling in space with pointless writing which is why this is pretty short! Once the action begins, it'll be too long to read in one go ;)
I'm glad you think I managed to find the right balance, because I find it really difficult not to fly into loads of description: it's what I'm more comfortable with! Thanks for that edit, I'll sort that asap!
Thankyou for your comments! Report Review
Wow, I simply love your characterisation. :D And your description of the action as well. :D You have just the right amount of dialogue and description, and you struck a very nice balance :) Great job :)
Good luck with the rest of your story :D
-FoxtrottAuthor's Response: Thank you so much, Foxtrott!! Your review was so encouraging and thoughtful. I'm so glad you enjoyed these two chapters. Have a great weekend!
celticbard Report Review
Hi! First of all, I'd like to apologise for taking so very, very long. D: Okay, I don't really have a valid reason, I've just been very lazy. But now I'm regretting it after seeing what i passed up for so long!
This is really good, the plot if original. I find crossovers a great read if they are written well, and this definitely was a great read.
I only spotted this, though: “No.” Draco replied flatly. It should've been a comma after 'no'.
Other than that, this introductory chapter was great :DAuthor's Response: Hi Foxtrott!
Don't apologize for the delay...I'm quite lazy too, especially after the holidays. And I do truly appreciate your review all the same ^_^
Thanks so much for pointing out that typo-I'm going to fix it right away. Gah! It seems that no matter how many times I proofread a chapter, one mistake always slips by ;)
Again, thanks a million for your great feedback. I hope you have a wonderful weekend!
celticbard Report Review
AHHH. ONE CHAPTERRR. ONE CHAPTER. AHHH. D:
I'll miss this story.
Was hoping you would say something about Roger though! :D Hehe, kinda miss 'im.Author's Response: haha, do you miss Roger already? My goodness! Take him out for a couple chapters and he's already missed :) Thank you for the review! Report Review
AWEEESOME! This chapter is great! xD Hahaha, the conversation about forks was funny. :P I could practically feel the tension myself! This was a great Christmas present! xD
...I still want Roger though. ;D
THANKS FOR THE UPDATE!! :D:D:D:D:DAuthor's Response: I'll call up Roger and ask him. I know I have his number somewhere around here... hmmm, just have to find it. Thanks for the review! Report Review
I love your description! It's so original, and fresh, y'know... Usually I find some chapters with tons of descriptions rather dull, but this chapter just sucked me in completely. :D
Great chapter! xD
PS. I love your description! (This is for emphasis.)Author's Response: Thankyou for those comments Foxtrott!
I'm really proud that one of my favourite writers likes my work; it's enough to make go all fangirl! I'm going to have to be careful with description that I don't go overboard though!
Thanks! Report Review
Oh... my god.
It's lovely. The motifs, the symbolism, the lyrics... they match the story so perfectly.
Thanks for writing this. And have a Merry Christmas too.Author's Response: Thanks so much, Foxtrott :D I'm thrilled that you enjoyed this story and I appreciate your leaving me a review to tell me so. I'm sorry I didn't get to responding until after the holidays, but I hope you had a wonderful Christmas too. :) Report Review
AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. HAHAHAHAHA *COUGH* HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA.
YOU MADE ME LAUGH SO FLIPPING MUCH MY STOMACH HURTS.
I LOVE GINNY IN THIS STORY. SO FUNNEHH.
"my legs grew a foot longer (though I’m still the same height)" Heheheheheh!
XD I love this story. :) Acee.Author's Response: Haha. I'm glad I could make you laugh so much. And the lines you quoted are a few of my favorite parts! :) I'm so glad you liked it, and thanks for reviewing! Report Review
I didn't squee.
I SCREAMED. I SCREAMED AND SCREAMED AND SCREAMED BECAUSE THIS WAS SO FLIPPING GOD!
"Then I ran at him, put my arms around his neck, and kissed him intensely."
Did you hear me scream all the way where you live?
Because I swear my neighbour was cursing at me.
P.S. WAITTT! One more thing... can I have Dodger now???Author's Response: Yayyy! I think I might have actually heard you. I had my window open a bit. I love that part too. Jane needs to make some moves :) haha. And maybe you can have Dodger... I'm still thinking. I'll let you know after chapter 27 :) haha Thanks for the amazing review! Report Review
Hi there! I've come to check out your story!! XP
This was a really good prologue, I absolutely loved the last paragraph. "I had to pluck up the courage to relive memories of my schooldays, to remember their laughing faces, to watch their antics with a smile, to walk again with the Marauders." The last part 'to walk again with the Marauders' was really impactful, but perhaps putting it in italics would bring the point across stronger. :)
I love this chapter, I got sucked into it, and was really engaged, because your introductory paragraph really just caught my attention. But perhaps the first line wasn't needed ('I want to tell you my story'), because it's a tad cliche. I think it would be better if you started with the second line.
But overall, I liked it very much. I can't wait for the next chapter. :)
~FoxtrottAuthor's Response: Well you've made me one happy girl, I mean you're my idol for writing!
I know, I really need to twiddle, I find avoiding cliches difficult though! Thanks so much for the feedback, it means a lot to me! Chapter One will be out as soon as it gets validated! I'm so excited! Report Review
Aww, that joke was a nice touch. I've heard something like that before. But it was a polar bear instead.
I like how your story is going, and since this is planned to be a novella, if I'm not wrong, it's certainly not moving too fast. :)
Although I thought that when Georgia refused she was being slightly OOC, because I sort of saw her as a loving, motherly figure, so when she refused... I don't know. It doesn't bug me much, it's just an afterthought.
Great job with this story!Author's Response: Haha, did you hear it from Nick on Hogan Knows Best or something? Because that's where I got it from, the polar bear. this was just a variation on that theme ;)
Hmm, I suppose now that I think about it, it does seem kind of odd for Georgia to have done that, doesn't it? How to solve this dilemna I wonder? Haha, she should be like one of those who believe in astrology/divination and "the heavens" told her that Cody & Ollie's signs matched ;)
Thanks for the reviews! Report Review
Hi! I'm really sorry about taking so long to review, I've been trying to get the fifth chapter of Discretion out, and right now it's sent for validation, so... here I am! :)
Oh, sorry about the skimpy review on the previous chapter. It's just that when I'm not in reviewer-from-forum mode, I tend to just harp on how good a story is. :| Sorry, I'm weird that way.
I thought this chapter was pretty good. Nice flow, easy to follow, and I really liked this line: “He insulted my favourite pair of sweat pants.” Heheheh, nice touch of humour! :D
Oh, and I'm really glad that Oliver said that last line, because when I read the whole, "You look nice." thing, I was like, uh oh. It was a bit OOC for him, but the last line saved him. :)
Just wondering... why was Cho guessing that Cody liked Oliver?Author's Response: Hehe, glad you liked the touch of humour - it's reassuring to know that that aspect of the story is coming across. Phew - good thing that last line was there then! ;)
Oh haha, yeah that's not the first time someone asked that either, so I guess I probably should've made it more clear. She was just teasing Cody for fun, not really with a motive necessarily, but you know how it gets when two of your friends meet, and there's just that urge to tease, like "oh, you like so-and-so," type of motif. :) Thanks for the feedback! Report Review
This chapter was really well-written. I love their conversations, I like how Hermione always accidentally reminded herself that it was her fault, and I especially liked your characterisation. Good job, and I'm sorry that I have no CC.
Anyway, I'm going to move on to the next story, so if you would like more reviews, feel free to request again on my thread. :)Author's Response: Thanks for your awsome reviews! I will definately re-request! *HUGS* Report Review
I thought this chapter was pretty well-done, and your descriptions and dialogue did establish good characterisation for the characters.
This part was slightly oxymoronic though, and it sounded odd, "they /kicked Hermione out/, /kindly/ promising to inform her..."
Just an opinion.
Other than that, this chapter was good. :)Author's Response: Thanks! *HUGS* Report Review
Hi there. I'm here from the forum, and I'm sorry if it's taken a while for me to get to you.
Well, like everyone else, I find Hermione/Sirius a bit unbelievable, but that's the beauty of fanon, I guess. I've never seen Sirius as someone who only does flings, but hey, I've only read a few Sirius romance fics.
I thought the beginning was a rather good way to entice readers to read on. And the ending was rather impactful. I like single-sentence endings, and that's how I end stories sometimes too.
The paragraph of Sirius' thoughts was a bit... well, forced. Because one moment he's flipping mad, with little sensitivity for Hermione, and then another moment he's reflecting, and extremely sensitive again.
All-right, to the next chapter I go. :)Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing, even if you don't like Sirimione's lol... *HUGS* Report Review
Hi there. Here's your review!
I really enjoy this story. I think the plot is original, I've honestly never read anything like it. It just intrigues me, and makes me want to read more. Which is why despite my headache, I'm still reviewing. :)
I know this chapter hasn't been beta-read, so you're probably going to have it beta-read, so I won't dwell on grammar or spelling then.
However, I thought it was a little unbelievable that Rose was hired so quickly, and immediately sent to Russia. Don't jobs that require travelling usually need a more experienced person? Not one who writes announcements that are put up on the common rooms?
Great job with the story so far, and feel free to leave a note on my thread when you've updated. :)Author's Response: Hi again!
I'm happy you enjoyed it =D It's difficult to write an original story nowadays, and it makes me happy to have such positive response to it. =D
There's an explanation behind why she was sent to Russia. Her parents will not be happy about it at all. She's not gonna suddently be in Russia in the next chapter ;)
Thank you for all the reviews =D
ForgottenFace Report Review
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