Reading Reviews From Member: californialove
  
109 Reviews Found

Review #1, by californialoveA Tale of Two Beaters: The Beater's Tale

8th July 2010:
hey girl!

i really enjoyed this story! thanks for hitting that spot for me cause i always love a good story about the twins, regardless if it's post-hogwarts, or even next gen!

Author's Response: Hi! Awww, thanks so much! I am glad you enjoyed this piece. Thanks for reading and reviewing!
:)BaletGir


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Review #2, by californialoveDraw, O Coward: Draw, O Coward

7th July 2010:
wow, i really enjoyed that! specially when i read it backwards! very clever!!!

Author's Response: Thanks so much! Glad you enjoyed it. :)

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Review #3, by californialoveOeil Pour Oeil: or how they got away

7th July 2010:
hey gubby!

i thought this was a very powerful piece of work here! nice work!

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Review #4, by californialoveThe Morning Waffle: Dastardly Dishy Dexter

9th November 2009:
oh heyy!!! today is my catch up day! ironic cause it's a regular college monday!

another fantabulous chapter that induces chuckles, smiles, and laughter. although at times, fred's narration can get sometimes tedious, the dialogue in-between slaps things back into action. i've probably told you this time and time again, but your dialogue is superb. and your characterization of how the characters interact with each other has an amazing flow.

i also like how you had tibbs and james as the two who poke at each other as children. i thought that analogy was perfect. it just gives more depth to the characters and their relationships with each other. i also like the sarcasm going on! haha!

xoxo

Author's Response: (The beauty of college is that every day can be like the weekend.) XD
...oops, did I say that?

Thanks for the review! I always appreciate your reviews. I'm glad you like the dialogue - it really is the most fun thing in the world to write!

xoxo

Melanie


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Review #5, by californialoveSunrise: Chapter Two

9th November 2009:
my english class got canceled, so here i am again! haha!

okay, i really love alice in this story! the fact that she gets overlooked by guys and has those awkward conversations with them, that is like the story of my life! but yes, also considering how someone else noticed her, is also the story of my life!

and i did not find alice whiny here. she was taking advantage of something she doesn't get very often! good for her!

Author's Response: I'm super happy that Alice has already been received so well by reviewers!! I was afraid her incredible awkwardness would be a turn off for readers, and to find that it's the exact opposite puts a smile on my face. I just really wanted to get a character out there who didn't have high self-esteem and who would be really nervous when interacting with guys, because I know I'm not 100% confidant talking with strangers, let alone hot boys.

Thanks so much for this review! As much as I feel like a broken record, it DOES mean SO much to me that you've taken the time to no only read but review this!!!


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Review #6, by californialoveSunrise: Chapter One

9th November 2009:
Aw yay! This story is tre cute! It's so down to earth and humble, I love it! I'll be back to read the chapter two mos def!

Author's Response: Aw, thank you! :) This is a lot different from other stuff I've written and I was definitely aiming for the 'down to earth' feel, so it's so great to hear that it works!! I'm glad you enjoyed and thanks a million for the review!!

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Review #7, by californialoveSunflowers: Chapter Five

9th November 2009:
OH ISH! What an ending!! WOWZA! Anyways, I just wanted to comment on the feelings that Bella is experiencing when she's around Rodolphus. It's best thing ever. I like want to shake someone, it's so good! Seriously Dani, you nail everything with Bella and Rodolphus. It's just so cool to see what you imagine where Bella came from and it's just so believable. The foreshadowing and other things just make me curious as to where this story is going to go!

Okay, I feel like I'm repeating myself! Ta-ta!

Author's Response: AH I KNOW! I'm sorry for having two cliffhangers in a row, but I couldn't help myself XD All will be revealed in good time, though, so no worries :)

Gah, thank you SO much! I work hard at creating the perfect balance of chemistry between Bellatrix and Rodolphus, so I can't tell you how nice it is to hear that it's paid off and worked so well!!

Thanks so incredibly much for leaving such awesome reviews. It's made my day!!!


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Review #8, by californialoveSunflowers: Chapter Four

9th November 2009:
yayayayayayyay!!! this story is loves and it seriously keeps getting more and more exciting! seriously, this ship and story makes me "♥"

Author's Response: Aw, thanks dear ^_^ This chapter was particularly fun to write, so it's great to hear that you enjoyed it (and Bella/Rodolphus, which still makes me squee!)

Thanks so much for leaving such a kind review!!


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Review #9, by californialoveSunflowers: Chapter Three

9th November 2009:
oh hai gurl!

so instead of napping, i'm playing catch up! i got to say, I am so glad you picked up sunflowers again! this story makes me so happy and it is so exciting! rodolphus's characterization awesome! i feel that you do such a good job with minor characters that haven't really been discussed or only mentioned once within the whole series.

9/10

Author's Response: Yay! I'm so glad you decided to pick this back up. You were one of the first people to read and review this, so to know you're still with me means more than I can say!!! :)

I'm glad you love Rodolphus, as I have a soft spot for him that has grown exponentially with this story. And I ADORE minor characters (as made evident by the fact that my 3 WIPs feature a minor as THE main or ONE of the main characters XD

Thanks so much for the read and review!!!


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Review #10, by californialoveThis is how big a moonbeam is: it began with me and ended with you

12th October 2009:
wow, mel-dawg.

that was touching. like, i dunno what it is, but post-hogwarts fred and george stories are like sad. some are dumb, but most of them are like sad. and make me want to cry. but i never do for some reason. they just become a real downer for sometime, and i'm in a sad mood for the rest of the day. aha, no, totally kidding. this story did have a very very depressing mood or tone, whichever one it is, but that's kinda like what's expected. cause someone died, you know?

xoxo

Author's Response: Yeah, they definitely are sad. I always wanted to write one, but I always had the feeling that all the post-Hogwarts twins ideas had been done over and over again and it would be nothing new or original. But this challenge gave me a way to take a new spin on it.

Definitely depressing, though, I know what you mean!

Thanks for the review, Alice!

xoxo
Melanie


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Review #11, by californialoveIrrational: Monday

27th August 2009:
Hey kiddo! I'm here with a review for you via Aparecium!!!

I love new stories. They're so exciting. And nerve-wrecking. And filled with anticipation.

I think you are almost taking a trip outside the box with this one. Audrey/Percy stories are very hard to come by mostly because of Percy, but I'm glad you make up another percentage of the Percy lovers. It's people like you who write really good stories about underrated characters and make them cool and loved and awesome.

Characters: I love Audrey so far. I think the main thing when it comes to Audrey is that we have to wonder what she was like to marry someone like Percy. However, I feel that some people don't take into consideration what happened to Percy, (Fred's death anyone?), so they kinda think that he's this cold marble statue of a person who like is still a total buzz kill. I'm going off on a tangent here, considering how Percy wasn't even mentioned in this chapter. But back to my point, I felt that the way you've designed Audrey so far is kinda what I expect Percy to marry. A really chill down to Earth kinda girl. And she doesn't even come across as a really smart and ambitious girl. That down to earth persona, I find attractive in all kinds of people. She even said she doesn't even know what she wants to do with her life. She's just letting the wind take her wherever. That I feel will be an interesting mixture once Percy rolls along.

Pace: Everything is going at a nice perfect steady pace. I like how it's from Audrey's P.O.V. so we can finally understand what she sees in Percy. But in addition, I like how Percy wasn't even in this chapter! I can tell that you don't want to rush things and make it obvious on how fast you want the romance to start.

Tone: Along with Audrey's personality, you gave the story a really down to earth tone. Like I almost feeling like chilling out and doing whatever and see where fate takes me. (Probably won't happen.) You've set up the story with that nice romance story way. I can't really explain it, but the story being told from Audrey's POV makes a huge impact on the reader. I think at least.

Right, okay, I think I'm getting repetitive now, so I'm going to leave.

But whatever you do, DO NOT CHANGE THE OPENING LINE!! I LOVE IT!!! IT'S PERFECT AND CONTRIBUTES GREATLY TO THE STORY'S TONE!!!

xoxo

Author's Response: Thanks for the long and wonderful review! I get what you mean about the outside the box thing -- not only because Percy/Audrey isn't often written, but also because it's a little different from what I usually write.

I'm glad to get your perspective on Audrey. On the one hand, it wasn't exactly what I was going for...but don't get me wrong, because on the other hand, I'm thrilled that you like her! I didn't really envision her as a free-spirit kind of person -- really, she's just quiet and shy and hardworking, but she's having a life crisis in her job because she's only working for the Ministry since that's what she figured she should do, have a respectable job and everything.

But I do think you're right in describing her as chill -- I mean, she gets along well with almost everyone, and she rarely gets upset (the flip side of this is that she's nice to a fault, and she's pretty passive).

I'm also glad you thought it was cool that Percy hasn't been introduced yet. I hoped that wouldn't turn anyone off -- I just didn't want to get things started so quickly...sort of let them develop slowly.

Hahaha, opening line dilemma...what to do, what to do. I talked to my beta about it, and she pointed out it's a bit cliche, and I can definitely see that. I also feel like it's bland, and honestly I wrote it that way because I didn't have any better ideas (such a bad reason...!) But I definitely appreciate your comments and will take your thoughts into consideration!

Thanks again for the great review!


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Review #12, by californialoveArmistice: The Protectors

27th August 2009:
Hey Drue! I'm here with a review as promised via Aparecium!

When I first saw this story as an AU, I was honestly more attracted to it than I would with another story because AU's I feel really bring out the creativity in a writer. (Like people who only write and read Cannon stories are total squares.) But when I read this with James still being alive and all, it's kinda hard to wrap that around my head! I'm just so used to him being dead! But thanks for exposing me to such an idea. It's refreshing! :D

Your writing style is something I must also applaud you with. Your diction and syntax is different from what normal and the average writer uses. For example, instead of just saying a quick kiss, I think you used, "their lips met briefly." Like, that's tight! It also refreshing as well!

The way the story is structured, is great. I like how you began with Harry's simple life as a Muggle. He gets up at the butt crack of dawn and get's ready for school. He even manages to sit down and actually have breakfast with his family. That also implies the image of a cookie cutter family. However, I really didn't expect something exciting to happen so soon as for someone such as that guy Remus was tracking to make an appearance. If you decided to include the rising action so soon because this is going to be a long story, alright then. But if you did it in fear of the story being boring, it's not boring either. It kinda left me curious. But since you included the mysterious man in the wizarding robes, I'm even more curious. Like honestly, I think Claire is on the something. I'm suspicious of her.

I'm really not going to judge the story based on the first chapter, but from this chapter, I think it's a provoking and instigating start. Like, they way you started things out, you give the reader the impression that they'll understand what's going down in the story, but some two characters talk and it just totally changes everything.

Nice work Drue!

xoxo
Alice

Author's Response: Thanks so much, Alice!! Wow, what a nice review! Thanks so much. I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

I hope you come back for the next chapters. ;) Thanks again!

-Drue


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Review #13, by californialoveConsumed: A Warning

27th August 2009:
Heyo! I'm here with your review from Aparecium!

I feel bad saying this, but what's important is that I'm being honest. Ha! Well honestly, this chapter wasn't as exciting as the previous chapters that I read before this one. It was almost as if things for Forbia, (ha, I like that name) are progressively getting worse as she sees what she is getting herself into when it comes to teaching. Like at the start of the story, she was all into learning and excited and loves to teach and now things are just getting plain weird. As if those weird occurrences were an ominous presence, here's the actual bad omen with the dreams going on.

Although, this "warning" was set up perfectly and what made it even better was that, (I'm assuming this is the rising action), this whole problem or rising action wasn't made obvious until now. You waited for the story to develop before bringing the conflict. It's a great way of pacing the story.

Now, I hope you don't get the impression that I'm saying this is a filler chapter, because it's not. It's kinda one of those chapters where not a lot goes on, but one important thing happens. Kinda like chapter five of Willoway.

But I also want to bring up the interactions going on between Forbia and Lupin. I believe that Lupin almost felt like an outsider during his teaching term at Hogwarts and now that Forbia is here, I bet she feels even more of an outsider. She hardly socializes with anyone and I just get the impression now that she kinda just doesn't really care. Like she brushed past Lupin and didn't even bother talking to him about what happened. But what also makes it better, is that she's not cold about it. She's genuinely human and kinda brushes it off in a wallflower type of persona.

Hope this helps!!!

Alice

Author's Response: Hi Alice!
Wow! Thanks a million for the wonderful review! I think you know from my gushing over your beta work that I simply love your feedback. Its consistently helpful and, as a writer, I really couldn't ask for more. ^_^

And why would I feel bad? This review was awesome! It really made me rethink some of the elements in this chapter and helped me plot the first chapter of the sequel.

Hmm, the bad omen actually wasn't supposed to represent Freddy's lack of teaching skill, but rather, something else. That something else is very obscure though, so perhaps I should have tried to make things clearer. ;)

I'm so glad you enjoyed the interaction between Lupin and Freddy. She is definitely a wallflower, like you said and therefore, I always have a hard time balancing her shyness with her inherent stubbornness. Haha.

Again, thank you SO much for the terrific review! You definitely deserve a promotion over on Aparecium. ^_^ I hope you have a pleasant week!

Best,
Lee Anne


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Review #14, by californialoveThe Morning Waffle: The Greater Weasley Family

26th August 2009:
Hey Melanie!!! I'm going to leave you a formal review because I'm a selfish beach and want to get promoted.

HA! No! I'm totally kidding! TOTALLY KIDDING! As soon as I saw that this story was updated on TGS, I clicked the link right away and made sure I would read it. But I've been meaning to tell you some of these things anyways:

Okay, in all honesty, I feel like you do such an amazing job with characterization. The thing about Next Gen is that we hardly know anything about them, so in a sense, they're OC's because sometimes, and the keyword here is sometimes, they're all different. This is probably the first Next Gen story with Fred II not being a total Quidditch hotshot and prankster like his father. And personally, I never really imagined Fred II to be a joker.

In addition, the interactions going on between the characters are EXCELLENT. This probably goes along with characterization, but I feel that you have gotten to know your characters so well that you know what they would say to each other, as if you were finishing their sentences for them.

In some more addition, I love how you were able to pay attention to the finer details of Human Genetics and Trait Inheritance. Like how Ron and Percy look alike and the fact that he's wearing the glasses make it more pronounce. Also with Fred taking after his mother and not so much his father. It these little bits about the family that make me appreciate the Weasley Family and my own family even more.

Your diction and syntax just make this story much easier and enjoyable to read. I noticed that a way to make "said" more exciting is to add action around the talking. You did that as well, (and you're just so good at it, it makes things much more visible to the reader), but your word choice for things such as "offered," or "squealed" or "muttered" also make a difference on the story, as simple as they are. It's a nice balance you got going on.

One more thing I've got to say, (this review is getting WAY too long), is on Fred's voice as the narrator. His character is so strong, that he's voice as the narrator is even stronger. As well as he is developed, and as weird as this sounds, I can hear him talking to me, telling me the story, and no, I'm not schitzo.

Okay, I'm going to stop here because my palms are getting sweaty.

Another excellent chapter Mel. Seriously. Very well done.

Alice

10/

Author's Response: Thanks, Alice! And getting promoted is a good thing, so no complaints here!

I'm really glad to hear all of your thoughts on the characterization, because that's really important to me in this story. Even though there's kind of a plot (kind of, haha) I feel that the characters really drive this story. So that's really excellent to hear. And I definitely do feel like I know these guys really well -- they're completely alive in my mind, and hopefully that will keep translating to my writing,

I'm also glad you picked up on the genetics and shared trait stuff! I think it's really interesting, the traits that different family members share -- and in a family as big as the Weasleys, there are lots of options to explore. But yeah, the Ron and Percy thing is a favorite of mine. Poor Ron -- he's so different from Percy in personality, and yet he's got to deal with looking like him. I just imagined that never made Ron very happy (even though I do like Percy).

I hear Fred talking to me, too...the difference between you and me (I hope) is that I actually talk back to him.

Now who's schizo? XD

Thanks for the mega awesome review!

Melanie


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Review #15, by californialoveMalice: Chapter I: Abandonment

26th August 2009:
Hi Jenny! I'm here with your review from Aparecium!

When the story began, I felt like it was one of those situations of where something is already happening and we're diving in, right into the story, but it wasn't. So thank you for saving me from the confusion and the "WTF's"

Since you're English, you got that home court advantage with the Britishism which augmented the dialogue going on between the characters. Like, the conversations made me, as a foreigner, feel like I'm watching some show on PBS about some rural British town. So, good work on making this like an authentic British Drama!!!

This is going to be an assumption because I've only read the first chapter, but this is somewhat of an introduction chapter, correct? If it is, I have to admit, it felt a little rushed and kinda...this isn't the best word, but choppy. Choppy in the sense that: "Okay, were having the baby now! Okay, the baby is born, wait, this baby isn't going to cut it, give it away to someone! Can you guys take my baby? Thanks! Bye!" You know what I mean? I wish I could better explain myself, but I understand if you were just excited for this story and wanted to get the not as exciting stuff out of the way. My best advice to you, as much as you probably don't want to hear this, is to just take your time and think about what is going down. There were some moments in this chapter when I felt like there could've been more put in with the emotions going on with the characters.

One more thing I would like to point out, I'm just a little confused, but if Julianna go to the Hart's house after having Evie??? Like didn't she rest or something?? Cause if I were to just give birth, I would be tired as eff.

Nice work!

Author's Response: Hey Alice! Wow, this review is going back a while if we're talking Aparecium :P sorry for taking a ridiculously long time to reply.

Ah yes, one of the advantages of being British is knowing how the northerners speak :P plus our good old swear words and colloquialisms. Glad you enjoyed that aspect of it :P

Yeah, I can see what you're saying with the choppiness thing, and don't worry it's been pointed out to me before :) I am considering re-writing this chapter to add in more emotion so that the reader feels more emotionally invested, and fixing things like Julianna being very tired after birth :P

Thank you for reviewing!


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Review #16, by californialoveThe Price Of Freedom: Murder

26th August 2009:
Hey Liam! I'm here with a review for you from Aparecium!

To be honest with you, I'm glad I didn't first post in your topic for this story saying I would do a review because back when I first saw the word count, I cringed. No joke. 6,000+ words is pretty steep for me for one chapter. The most I've ever read was probably 3,500, but certainly never over 4,000. I just have this short attention span that if I come across a fic that has such a long word count, I'll start to feel like I'm reading one of those classic novels in my English class.

However, I'm glad I decided to bite the bullet, (It's a new thing I'm doing now), and read this story because you were able to keep my attention span grounded. One of the reasons was because you kept things in short structures. It's common for novel writers to stuff everything together. And for people like me, reading a book like that and being aware of what's happening is just not going to happen.

Two: There wasn't any straight up tedious narration. Even if the story opened up with narration, it was shortly dismissed by back and forth conversation which kept things engaging. It wasn't boring like, "said Ellie." or "Ellie screamed." And even if it was, there was some type of action to go along with it to add more to the dialogue. In addition, I felt like you gave such a strong voice to each of the characters, I could imagine such things going on.

Like honestly, there was nothing boring about this story. That's my honest to God fear I have with chapters that are more than 3,500 words. But this chapter, like made me feel better about those things.

As for characterization, I feel like Ellie is legit, dude. The way you started things backwards and kinda took a "Well, let me show you how I got into this situation" angle I feel gives the reader a better chance of getting to know the character. This way we can see where they're at and where they came from. Also about Ellie, I feel like she's the kinda person who makes trouble for herself. She's strong willed and goes in headfirst; which could also be her downfall, considering how she ran from the scene of the crime, or on top of that how she picked up the knife when she knew it was a bad idea.

Matt, I feel like I don't know him so well, but from what appearances he made, I feel like he's going to be the salvation that Ellie needs. BUT, since I watch too many movies, I'm going to keep my eye on him, just in case something happens.

Okay, this has to be the longest review I have ever left. Wow.

(Oh, just another thing, you write like a journalist. I dunno if you know this but, journalists are supposed to write in short structures.)

So yeah, good luck!

Author's Response: Hey Alice :P
Thank you so much for the review, first of all!

Ahh, yes, 6000 words is very long, I have trouble reading them myself. Not to mention writing it! It took me three days D:

Wow, I managed to keep you engaged in the story? Really? Thank you! That makes me feel good about my writing. I would so be giving the :wub: emoticon if we could use them in responses right now x]

I'm glad you like the action and the dialogue, their two extremely important elements to this story, and I'm glad you think I've done them well, it makes me feel great!

Hmm, I want readers to make their own opinion about Elle. She's kind of the anti-hero, both a protagonist and an antagonist, I'm just interested to see who thinks what XD

I promise you Matt is a good guy. He does doubt Elle sometimes, but he's one of the good guys ;)

Although he will be tested later on in the story ...

Anyways, thanks so much for this review, it made me really happy! Thank you! :D


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Review #17, by californialoveMirror, Mirror: Mirror, Mirror

25th August 2009:
californialove is here with your reivew!

Ok, to be honest with you, I was so caught up in the story, that I really didn't notice the tense thing. lol

And since we're being honest, I thought the beginning was kinda like "We're not supposed to be together blah blah blah, I'm a Pureblood, you're a Mudblood" kinda mumbojumbo. And from the summary, I thought this was going to be Hermione's POV because of all those cliche's that come with this genre. But this story was nothing like that.

Draco's character is like, different. I'm not saying it's a bad different, it's just a new take on the character that I enjoyed to see. Considering how I haven't read very many Dramiones, I still feel you did a good job with this because I kinda didn't really expect him to be all angsty and bitter. It's kinda like, "well DAMN!" In a way, this also reminded me of a soliloquy from Hamlet. Hamlet was an angsty young adult, why not Draco?

Another thing I want to mention that goes along with what I said before is that I like how you made these characters two faced. Like for example, Draco is a tough guy who beats up Hermione's friends, but on the inside, he's not a tough guy when it comes to the relationship. Likewise with Hermione; she's seen as a goody good, but behind closed doors, she's a total beach.

Right, okay, I feel like I wasted enough time!

californialove

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked it, thank you for the positive feedback :)

I am SO INCREDIBLY GLAD it didn't turn out like one of those stories. That would be my worst nightmare, seriously. Thank you for your honesty :)

I wanted to not change Draco's character, but show him in a different sort of light. It's because of the situation he's been put in in this story that he is this way, and I'm glad you can see that. LOL, that is totally coincidence because I am actually studing Hamlet in school, right now. How odd you should say that ^_^

I'M SO GLAD YOU SEE HERMIONE LIKE THAT. Oh my God, you are the first to mention her, and I was wondering if it got completely lost in the story! She is a cow - Draco see her as a "vixen" of sorts, and that was what I was trying to get across. THANK YOU ♥

Thank you so much for this awesome review! I'm so glad you liked the story! Thank you!


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Review #18, by californialoveSafe: Attack on the Hogwarts Express

25th August 2009:
Hey! It's californialove with your review from Aparecium!

First thing's first. This is my first Dramione I've ever read. Second, this story left me curious. Like seriously. Like I guess I personally expected Draco to be in the first chapter of a Dramione because I just imagined some Dramione's to be dumb and stupid like that, but I'm getting the impression this story is nothing like that.

Hermione's character for the first chapter, I thought was really interesting. I honestly really didn't recognize her as Hermione because I kinda thought she would be excited to start school so she would like jump outta bed when her alarm clock first went off. However, my opinion started to change when you had her act quickly with the attack during the train.

My honest take on the plot, considering how I haven't read any Dramione's, is that this story isn't going to be like very many Dramione's. I feel like you're going to make Hermione a strong Protagonist who like won't allow herself to get slapped around by Draco. However, it's only the first chapter, so I don't want to judge much!

Just some quick things I think that could use improvement. When you finish a character's dialogue and then move onto another character's I suggest you start a new paragraph with the enter key cause sometimes a period just doesn't cut it. There were times when I was confused with which character is saying what.

Hoped this helped!

californialove

Author's Response: Californialove-
You are amazing; thank you for such a detailed and complete review! ^_^. I am very excited that this is the first Dramione you've ever read- I hope I do it justice :). I'm an unashamed Dramione shipper but I am very familiar with the sterotype you have laid out- rest assured, this is nothing of the sort. I'm very grateful to you for reading- I hope you will want to further explore the ship ^_^. It really isn't as flawed as so many make it out to be- so thank you for giving it a chance *attacks with hugs*

Hermione loves school, it's true :) My goal is to make her relateable - and as a proper nerd myself I thought, "We're tired in the morning too!" =) I'm glad you found her actions on the train in line with her character- being fast on her feet is quite her forte.

Thank you for expressing you concern about a Draco/Hermione dynamic- and you are spot on; she certainly won't be pushed around by Draco, but then again, neither will she be able to push him around :) I'm quite excited to see what you make of it.

THANK you for pointing out the dialoge- I had a bit of a writing hiatus earlier in the summer and when I came back I realized how ridiculously confusing my style of writing is. Rest assured, your advice is taking to heart and it will be rectified =)

Thank you for taking the time to review- it was very insightful! And thank you very much for joining Aparecium as well ;-)


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Review #19, by californialoveRetrograde: The Reunion

24th August 2009:
ok, so this took me like, like twenty minutes to read because i was on msn with you. haha

okay. i'm going to try and keep this on track.

i think there was such a great improvement. its obvious how hard you wanted this story to be good. if you still think you're a crappy writer, you need to like stop. like right now. i mean, seriously. alicia, stop. now. this second. okay. did you stop?

i still like the family feeling coming from the potters. its so genuine and happy. its a positive aspect of the story, and ron's no family situation is the negative. (it's artist's terminology) its a nice combination. :]

the only problems i had was with the conversation between ron and dean and pavarti. idk, i felt that ron's little outburst was crazy. but it's because he's all upset so its understandable.

nice work, alicia

xoxo

Author's Response: Yes, I know. I need to be more positive about things.

Hm, well maybe with you being my happy helper, that's one thing we can work on. If you ever get your butt on msn, that is! :P j/k. I know how crazy life is, take your time dear.

Thanks for coming to check out the rewrite, hon. ^_^

xx


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Review #20, by californialoveAny Given Sunday: I.

24th August 2009:
I was smiling from the beginning. I love the Bridget Jone's reference!

I also love how you characterized Dom because I'm having such trouble with her in my own Next Gen that I don't know how to make her personality! I've seen the jealous one way too many times, but this one was a nice change!

Nice work!

Author's Response: Aww yay! Smiling is good, because smiling means happy ^^ Bridget Jones is just amazingly ridiculously funny, I love it.

I love Dom as well! She's just such a crazy kid. Completely know what you mean about the whole jealous/angsting over Teddy thing - after a while you just feel like screaming at her to get over it! So feel free to steal this one off me :P

Thanks so much for reviewing and good luck with your Next-Gen!



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Review #21, by californialoveThe Morning Waffle: A Bit of Friendly Competition

21st August 2009:
ok! so now you can no longer guilt me because i haven't read this chapter yet.

Read it. Loved it. Rated it.

I love your sense of humor! It's so good! And you're such a great writer! If you get bored of law, you should get into scriptwriting and write your own TV show or something!

xoxo

Author's Response: Your review totally made my day. :-) I would love to write TV shows -- I think that would be one of the most awesome jobs ever!

Glad you liked this chapter! The next is in the queue (yay!)


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Review #22, by californialoveHardboiled: Hardboiled

10th August 2009:
Hey, its me again. Your obsessed fan that goes through your trash and steals somethings you've thrown away.

No! I'm totally kidding about that part! TOTALLY KIDDING!!! ^.^;;; I'm trying to be funny!! Out of pure sense of humor.

So anyways, this story is nothing less than amazing! Like, seriously, my face is hurting because it's leaving me smiling/laughing/mirthful. Like the ending was the best part. I did not see that coming! But it was also a PERFECT way to end the story! Like the best possible ending EVER!

2.3 million out of ten

xoxo

Author's Response: Bahahaha! I'd better start shredding my credit card statements. ;-)

Thanks for reviewing this story, too! I'm really glad you enjoyed it. I had way too much fun writing it. I am also really happy to hear that the ending was truly a twist for you as a reader.

Ron and Hermione are great fodder for humor. Maybe I should go write some more now (insomnia has reared its ugly head!)

Thank you again! I really appreciate it.


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Review #23, by californialoveThe Nerve of Neville: The Nerve of Neville

4th August 2009:
Ok, I feel bad leaving you all these reviews. But I just had to tell you that I loved this story! It put me like in a better mood and kept me smiling through the whole thing!!! :D

10/

Author's Response: I definitely appreciate all of the reviews! I'm glad you enjoyed this story as well. I really liked writing Neville, and hopefully I'll write him some more in the future.

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Review #24, by californialoveThe Morning Waffle: Panache

4th August 2009:
Ha, okay, I was wondering why you dropped a reference to you James story! But anyways, I like seriously love this story. Radio shows has a near and dear spot in my heart, but particularly journalism/communications!

643 out of 10.

;D

Author's Response: Oh, yeah, I just did that in case anyone was curious about James' Quidditch career, since I made the two stories consistent -- and TSWD is more James-centric, for anyone who likes James. :-)

Makes sense you'd like this story, with your journalism background! Random piece of character trivia for you: Tibbs worked for a wizarding newspaper before she moved to Britain and joined the Morning Waffle.

Hope you enjoy future chapters! Thanks for the reviews!


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Review #25, by californialoveThe Morning Waffle: Prologue: Another Show, Another Sickle

4th August 2009:
hey!

ok, so i had only read like, the first three or four paragraphs and I was laughing out loud scrolling down to the end of the page to look for the favorite button!!

but anyways, I LOVE what you did with the Next Gen! I've always thought of Fred II as a liberal artsy kinda guy and broadcasting is something that is very Fred like. I also love how James isn't the center of attention, as in the sense, it's not his radio show. He's more of a supporting role in the story and he's not a bad guy! ;]

superb work!

232 out of 10

xoxo
alice

Author's Response: Hey Alice! I couldn't ask for a better score than 232! Thanks! :-)

I'm really glad you're enjoying this. I wanted to do Fred II as someone different than just a reincarnation of Fred I, but still with his own sense of humor. So I figured I'd make him smart, articulate, and charismatic, as well. And when I was given this challenge, to write about a wizarding radio host, Fred II was one of the first characters who came to mind, so I just ran with it.

And I definitely had to include James, although as you said, as more of a supporting character.

Hope you continue to enjoy!

Melanie


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