Reading Reviews From Member: justonemorefic
  
635 Reviews Found

Review #26, by justonemoreficThe Last Venture: The Last Venture

14th July 2013:
I've read a few oneshots of the Prewett brothers before; I love what ideas people come up for them. I think this is a good fleeting moment - action can be difficult to write well, as it's all about timing and emphasizing exactly the right descriptions. I get a good idea of the scene immediately - I rather like your beginning with a 'Come out and fight!' It immediately sets up conflict and mood.

We know they're going to die, of course, so when Fabian whispers 'Cradle to grave' I'm starting to hold my breath because I know this is the last stand.

I would've loved to see more at the end - the beginning was quite well paced but I think i just needed one more 'oomph' moment at the end to herald the beginning of their end. I like Gideon's 'Avenge us' though, I think you make good use of sparse dialogue.

Good, quick read! :)

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Review #27, by justonemoreficWe all fall down: We All Fall Down

14th July 2013:
Oooh, I learned about the true meaning of the ring around the rosy song long ago. I absolutely love it, and I love that you're using it as inspiration! I like the beginning the best, when you're setting up the scene with Lily, and you introduce the coldness of the room and her skin.

I was worried for Lily for a second, as plagues tend to be contagious for that's how they spread, but I wonder how this one spreads if it's not. I like the idea of a wizarding plague though, I hardly ever see stories with that idea.

I think their dialogue could be stronger and more impactful, so it can contribute even more to the story. I actually kind of like Rose's last line being Hugo. It's a little out of the blue, but it makes me wonder on my own, what he means to her. Lily also is mostly an observer in this story, and her thoughts tend to repeat toward the end. Some variety would help bring the fic together as a whole :)

Hope that helps!

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Review #28, by justonemoreficDate Night: She's the Boss

14th July 2013:
Oh it's been wayyy too long since I've read Ron/Hermione fic, especially Ron + Muggle things fic 8D bahaha, I love this description: "Hermione's lips were sealed tighter that a goblin's greedy grip. It all annoyed him, and he felt his face getting redder and redder, as red as the two muggle call-boxes they had just passed." It's such a hilarious, almost grotesque image xD Really, all of Ron's passive anger is the best. "Something Shaky" - omg, I love that too. "It had been alright, he supposed, but he didn't really get it."

"She took his hand then and led him on down the street like a kindly mother might guide a troubled child." Oh dear, I feel like this is a regular occurrence for Ron while Hermione's around, whether there's a surprise or not.

AHA, she's taking him to a theater. He can tell because of the popcorn, that is such a Ron thing to do omg. It's like how his Amortentia smells partly of bacon. "he found that he liked them quite a lot, sometimes more than the movie they had come to watch" I TOO GO TO THEATERS FOR THE TRAILERS c: That's because they're all the best bits.

THEY'RE WATCHING HARRY POTTER. Ohoho I didn't see that coming.

That was great! Pure silliness, I loved it :D

Author's Response: I am so glad you liked it, this story was such a chore to write. I never have that much trouble with these little stories, but this one was just evasive and maybe even a little abrasive on my poor ole, aching brain.

It was a lot of fun to read afterwards though, and I am so glad of that. Ron and Hermione are my favorite pairing, and its always good to write something around one or both of them.

Very glad you enjoyed this little piece, and thanks for the R&R.

Ken


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Review #29, by justonemoreficBliss: One

14th July 2013:
Hi! I thought I could be your first review!

I see your first chapter is a lot about introducing your main character; I get a pretty good idea of what her family is like and what she likes to do. I rather love Oliver Wood :D and Quidditch stories, even if I personally have as much abilities in sports as a noodle. I like the idea of her mom being friends with the Potters! The Weasley/Potters did have humble beginnings.

I see a lot of description scattered through the story - her brown hair and eyes, and then about her house, for example, and then some sentences about her housemates. It might be a good idea to separate these descriptions and not tell all of this information at once, and spread it out through the story instead :) We don't need to know everything about her quite yet - it's still the first chapter!

I also see some usages of numbers like 3 story and 15 minutes, and these should be written as 'three' and 'fifteen', unless they're something special like Platform 9 3/4.

Aah, train meetings. I already like Shelby from her little bit at the end. It'd be nice to hear more about her housemates right in those ending paragraphs, actually!

Hope this helps as a first review ^__^

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Review #30, by justonemoreficAcceptance: Memories

14th July 2013:
I saw this fic didn't have any reviews so I thought I'd look in! :) I love Luna. Reading this line: "Ever since the Battle of Hogwarts, most students now knew the previously invisible force that pulled the carriages to the castle." makes me think of how the students must know more and more because more of them have had brushes with death. I like how you wrote her dialogue, the last line of hers especially: "They aren't here to remind you of their deaths. They're here to remind you of how they lived. Of how you should be living." It's a rather nice way of thinking of thestrals! I've always been fond of them myself.

The scene changes were a bit quick - I'd love to feel a bit more of the forest in Luna's PoV as the thestral comes in, and feel some suspense as Neville enters the scene. I'd also love to see more of Luna herself and maybe how her life connects to the thestral personally, via her own past experiences, and maybe some of her thoughts about Neville, since the end implies a bit of romance. :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much for your review! I'm really glad you gave me those suggestions to because I'm going back to edit the one-shot to add to the word count and to the story between Neville And Luna. They're really great suggestions. And I've always thought that the thestrals were misunderstood and I wanted to give people a reason that they were there. Thanks again for reviewing and I hope you check back when I've edited it.

~Rintunes


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Review #31, by justonemoreficYoung and Beautiful: Young and Beautiful

14th July 2013:
I've come to really love Fleur after the books, and I wish I appreciated her more as a champion while I read the series. Your opening endears us to her quickly, and I think there's something very honest about it, like she's tired and she just wants to spill out her thoughts. I think there are some times that sound a little awkward, either from some unevenness in her voice or grammatical errors ("if the prospects of a real relationship entered the scene, they were gone before I can blink." -> prospect, I could blink), but otherwise I get a good feel of what she's like.

Aah, I love that Bill remembers her for being a Triwizard Champion! And then brings up Harry hehee, he's so up to date with Hogwarts happenings. I would've liked to see more small scenes with them in the middle. I think the bits about Fleur's appearance could be tied in better during the dance scene - maybe described in a different way. Right now I'm only reminded at the end of that scene. Though I understand it's for a challenge, I think this oneshot could work well focusing more on their romance, too, and not just Fleur's looks!

It was good to read about Fleur again! :)

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Review #32, by justonemoreficRosewater: Rosewater

14th July 2013:
I haven't read a Bellatrix fic in ages. It's so serene compared to what I'm used to, and I suppose in her madness, she must have had memories, wishes, and nostalgia stored somewhere. I love the focus on decay - "a host to languid tendrils of dust and age" - it kind of reminds me of the old manor houses in Gone With The Wind falling into disrepair with the war, and Southern royalty losing their wealth. Especially with lines like these: "There was elegance in antiquity, that she knew. Elegance in the old world and it was the old things that mattered." In Bellatrix's eyes they were like royalty, she was taking back what was hers.

I like the quiet build up - she's taking this long stroll around the manor, but with such war-heavy thoughts ("Order could only be restored through force"). She comes to life with the perfume - representing her, I would think. They're strong, musky things, difficult to get rid of. She blooms again after being freed, to take her place beside her master. It's wonderful imagery!

Lovely one shot! ♥

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Review #33, by justonemoreficGoodness, Gracious!: Goodness, Gracious!

14th July 2013:
I still remember the first time I read this fic, I was rolling. It made me love Lockhart for two thousand words - and he was the most grating character ever (for a reason). You totally captured the pompous git at his most self-absorbed. OF COURSE he would have a tower of portraits ALL OF HIMSELF, and all complimenting himself. And then his not-so-slight fascination with Snape and his flowing robes and flowing greasy hair.

Of all professors, Lockhart definitely tops the list for 'most likely to be overpowered by little girls.' "I spun on the spot and marched down the corridor before realizing that I was going the wrong way. Again, I spun and took off down the corridor in the right direction, doing my best to ignore the not so subtle snickering of Filch." I love how everyone around him is laughing at him but he's so oblivious, because that the only way his PoV would go. He gives seductive winks to McGonagall - that whole conversation was brilliantly characterized.

Another fav line: "The idea of a woman not finding me attractive, or at least worthy of attention, well, it was unprecedented. It was unheard of. And I was pretty sure it was illegal in at least five countries."

And the ending, of course - goodness gracious! Baha, I'm not sure that knock into the wall would've made him any more of a dunce.

I always love coming back to this oneshot to revel in its silliness! :D

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Review #34, by justonemoreficShipwrecked: In Which Hagrid Does Some Banging

6th June 2013:
So I saw the summary and chose this as my post-dinner fic, and this is as good as some post-dinner wine (and it seems it's always post-dinner in the staff room of debauchery).

And I don't have much to say other than a lot of cackling and snorting. Professors are my favorite people and drunk non-sexual professors YES, gossiping over Trelawney's visions, YES YES YES. Tom always brought the biscuits omg. Hardly twinkly Irish Dumbledore omg. ALSO I NOTICED THE CHAPTER TITLE AT THE LAST MINUTE O M G

♥ you carry the crazy well

Author's Response: Haha, it *is* always post-dinner in the staff room! What a great way to put it. I'm so glad you chose to read this, and thank you for leaving a review!

Cackling and snorting was my aim, so that's great :P you picked out my favourite jokes!

Oh and, why thank you! I've been carrying it a long time ;)


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Review #35, by justonemoreficA Lightness: not quite her name

2nd May 2013:
oh I love this SO MUCh. My favorite thing is when authors dig way past canon and write something that has reminders of the original material but is wholly their own. Lavender - I've grown a huge soft spot for her over the years amongst the Harry Potter minor characters. I could hear her voice throughout so well, light and dreamy and hesitant at first breath, but then wildly courageous and alive. I'm not the best at gushing over writing styles as I am with characters, but your words are like poetry, but the kind that I can imagine coming from Lavender Brown. They fit and flow with her voice, which is a very rare quality when it can easily go over the top and sound like some poncy narrator.

I did a little wooop over the bits with Ron, because as much as I like Ron, he treated her terribly as a boyfriend and he can't complain about having an annoying girlfriend when he's mooning over another girl and was pretty piggish. Looking at how the silly things like Won-Won started so innocently, omg that was hilarious. I love that in the end their break up wasn't a Big Deal in this story and Lavender tried and griped to the girls and that was that.

And the bits of talent revealed in the eyes of Trelawney and Firenze, and just the whole general cast. Everyone was more human (or centaurish, I suppose) which is such a necessary quality in a fic about war, at least framed in this way. I was invested in everyone. In the books, it's easy to brush off Trelawney as batty, the Patil twins as annoying, and Firenze was forgettable for me, but here, I wanted to listen. Here, they were important.

And there's also this delicious mess, in that wonderful slice-of-life way, of conflicts and questions and relationships that tangle with each other and ebb in and out of Lavender's focus that is really hard to manage, but you got that tangle out in a story and turned it into a life - Lavender's life. I feel like I keep saying the same thing, but I just really want to tell you how much I appreciate how this story feels like I walking through her life with all the important details and insignificant details that feel important because of the way she tells it - and that's the magic right there.

It's 2:30am, so I'm off to sleep and I shall leave you this verrry rambly review~ oodles of love love love ♥

Author's Response: edhkajobgisdfk mmphsgf

OK will try to speak some english now

I start hyperventilating every time I get a surprise review for this long rrrammmblyy story of mine :O And eagh, your review touched upon some aspects of the story that are quite dear to me ♥ I love Lavender quite a lot too :) But I can't find many fics in which Lavender is treated seriously during her Hogwarts years. And I enjoy writing her precisely for all that idiotic Won-wons and her somewhat embarrassing relationship with Ron (during which he was a real meanie - I totes agree with you on this) and all the trivial stuff she goes through e.g. her pet rabbit dying. I really really like writing these sorts of slightly idiotic characters and sort of giving them depth and making them into very normal people with lives so normal that it's extraordinary. Eep, not sure if I'm making sense.

This story actually ballooned out of control :P I have plenty of deleted scenes. But basically, yeah, it's Lavender moving through different stages of her life, and through different relationships (family, friends, romance, not-romance).

AM SO HAPPY YOU THOUGHT THE LANGUAGE FIT WITH HER VOICE ♥ I was /trying/ my best not to sound too poncy! I stuck to really really simple sentence structures and probably went overboard with the sentence fragments in some parts.

And yay, the other characters caught your attention too! This is such a huge compliment for me that gaaahkjs. I worked pretty hard to make sure that the minor characters in the fic weren't /too/ marginalised, even if Lavender is the main focus. And I'm glad that the Patils, Trelawney, Firenze all had a rightful place in this story.

omg thank you sososo much for this wonderful and absolutely unexpected review! And for all the amazing praise you've snowed down on me ♥ Absolutely made my weekend!

-teh


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Review #36, by justonemoreficThe Fluttery Whimsy: Ginger People

16th April 2013:
So it is my job to deliver the ship names that Julia and I have thunk, that is 'Grugo', 'Grego', 'Huta', 'Huga', and 'Huggreta', which sounds like a spiffin' (I am so appreciative of the word spiffin') dragon.

This is such a cute start c: I love Greta's general 'tude to whole Wazz-lees (there are so many of them), and I've been waiting for a Muggle point of view that doesn't make a big fuss of things, where magic's nearly normal and just a ~weird thing your sister does~. I've already projected myself on her because I am the little sister, and all little sisters share the same grumbly disposition to anything their big sister does, not to mention me meeting new family is like, -cautiously slides from view-

I noticed Astrid (they have such COOL NAMES and don't get me started on Hansel, who I hope has a poster of Jeremy Renner on the side of his cage) says 'Greta' quite a lot in conversation. Also, I think you could consider moving some of the information from the dialogue into non-dialogue descriptions. The conversation in the beginning runs a bit long in places and I can see there's a lot of characterization you want expressed, and I think some of it would be better relegated as Greta's internal thoughts, which would also break up some of the other dialogue and flesh out Greta more. Descriptions have a different feel than dialogue; you tend to get more of the narrator's voice and they don't seem like forced chatterboxes, and you also get the chance to flesh out the world you want to build. For example, everything about Greta not taking things seriously, instead of repeating it in dialogue, bring up a recent example of when Astrid last accused Greta of that. Maybe think of Hansel so it foreshadows the rabbit's introduction.

THAT WAS A REALLY LONG PARAGRAPH SORRY AND I BET YOU'RE WONDERING WHY ME AND JULIA ARE CREEPING ON YOU BUT UH, WE DON'T REALLY HAVE A GOOD ANSWER FOR THAT. UM YEAH I HOPE YOU STICK AROUND -salutes- HPFF COULD ALWAYS USE SOME FRESH BLOOD c:

Author's Response: Two brilliantly detailed reviews in two days? The universe is spoiling me. Seriously, this is really good for my ego in a very bad way.

I want to start with how glad I am that you mentioned all that about the dialogue, especially the bit about her not taking things seriously. I've been sort of annoyed by that since I wrote it, but I couldn't figure out some way to get around the repetitive feeling of it while retaining the importance and not interrupting the conversation flow (which to be honest, is pretty lacking anyway).

GAH CHARACTERISATION. God I know I'm too obsessed with it. It can be a tad suffocating when I just mash it all up and shove it down your throat, can't it? Thanks for pointing that out, it's already been very helpful.

I feel like one of the things I lack as I writer is knowing how to properly mix dialogue and description. There's another bit I've written that I know is too heavy with description, and I've been trying to make the language lighter to make up for that, but maybe I'll just try adding some dialogue to break it up. Your advice works both ways, and that milady is some talented advice.

So I had to Google Jeremy Renner. I now have further evidence that the bubble I live in must seem very strange indeed to those I will both affectionately and cautiously term 'outsiders'.

LOL at Huggreta, honest. I'd no idea they would be shipped from chapter one. There's some information Huggreta shippers should probably be privy to sooner rather than later, but I shall delay. Though I'm really not sure if it's better or worse that way.

You need no excuses to creep. I creep on both of you, and now the creeping has been returned. I will consider this retribution.

(As a side note, you should be very impressed that I contained my fangirling in this review response. Because I think you're the spiffinest of the spiffy spiffins. That is all.)

I would also like you to know that if telling me to stick around was some reverse psychology voodoo intended to scare me away, IT HAS FAILED.

Take a second to wrap your head around that.

Yeah. BAM.


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Review #37, by justonemoreficDragon Breath: A Very Weasley Christmas

12th January 2013:
I poured my tea and brought up a plate of monkey bread and pretending that it's Christmas so i AM PREPARED.

Coming out of the shed, so that's what the kids are calling it these days eh? I kid, I kid, Albus. Are you sure that's a broom, Hugo? We haven't had sight of Scorpius just yet -- ok I'll stop now :'D

Gigglesnort, tisn't a proper hiding place if it isn't horribly uncomfortable. Stop with your sense, Hughs. I am missing my childhood already. Avoiding adults because they always have questions and fuss and want to feed you things that don't taste very good; I know that feeling. ELBOWS AND SO MANY BROOMS, well it is a Quidditch playing family, and poor downtrodden Scorpius is going to die, let me love him ♥

Albus is going to be a pirate at this rate.

agfkjahg downtrodden Scorpius again in the sea of redheads. They are going to eat him alive with their freckles. They can't hate you Scorpius! You're too adorable!

Albus is such a bad-idea ringleader. Love for him too. Love for Hugo for being a sassy sensible-head who doesn't know who Pete is.

omg guffawing: There was already an immense number of Weasleys, and with the amount of noise that they made when all of them were together, it sounded like there were twice the number that there actually was. Even the quietest Weasley was louder than the average witch or wizard; projecting your voice was a necessary survival skill learned at a young age in their family. THIS IS VERY TRUE OF CHINESE FAMILIES. I have this theory that the Chinese are trained to be loud because of their restaurants. Our average voice level is shouting.

Not the whole Voldemort killing thing - because that was pretty cool oh Albus.

Besides, the way he saw it, people with ridiculous names need to stick together. you know my love of close spaces, broomstick jokes, and terrible names so well ♥

Ooh ooh, my bad idea senses are tingling. Of course Albus doesn't even bother to read the label. As all good Gryffindors don't -- EXPLOSIONS. MULTIPLYING EXPLOSIONS. You are tailoring this to my heart. Oh those silly boys. Why would you leave that lying around Geooorge.

“Hush! Your negativity is going to make us visible!” BEST LINE.

Charlie was the cool uncle YOU SERIOUSLY PUT IN EVERYTHING I LOVE. Also, Charlie is very right, it is not a proper Weasley family function without its accidents. It'd just make people antsy waiting for it.

I LOVE YOU. ♥ It was adorb and askgjhag and I could squish the three of them forever and ever. I felt so spoiled reading it, having all of my favorite things and then some in one fic c: you are magical. Thank you so much!

Author's Response: asjfkal;sw monkey bread now it really is Christmas!

(if I had been drinking tea that would have been the point where I spat it out oh my god)

There is no such thing as both an effective and a comfortable hiding place. Science. (I also have the avoiding adults down to a science.) Also Scorpius very much appreciates the love. ♥ He could use it.

Albus Severus Potter, Pirate. It has a certain ring to it.

confession: I think downtrodden Scorpius is my favorite Scorpius.

Everyone in my family is super loud, too! Only I'm not really sure what our excuse is. I think mostly everybody just likes the sound of their own voice.

Close spaces, broomstick jokes, and terrible names are the best ♥

Gryffindors don't need to read labels! Reading labels is for Hufflepuffs! (bless them) ALL THE EXPLOSIONS.

I couldn't resist writing Charlie in because Charlie is the best Weasley. -nods- And I imagine it would. There's like an accident quota that needs to be filled or something.

I'm very glad you liked it! I had a great deal of fun writing this yay so thank you for giving me the opportunity to! ♥


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Review #38, by justonemoreficRun: Newcomers

3rd January 2013:
OOH PEOPLE GOING MISSING !!! PEOPLE GOING TO WITCHING EEE. A LOGBOOK THAT WAS STOLEN. Please be Colin and Orla ferrying people to Witching.

IT IS.

This ending is everything I wanted and more. It's. Like this thing of beauty you frame in a museum that lots of tourists stop by and snap pictures at. You're the Lourve, Sarah. The Lourve. And I read that thing about Orla's photo earlier, and I think I forgot to mention it amongst my need to keep reading. But it's chilling to think of how all the worlds combine so seamlessly, like Fred and George switching, obviously you can't just /tell/ people there are universes unless you want a zillion Doctors going about. Cliodna's almost like a bit of a queen over her world, no? And I think I can find a lot of reasons why things happen if I think of it that way. I must, I must train myself not to think of CC as a finite death, but a small bubble of a world itself, like Witching.

Sarah, you've pretty much rewritten my entire HP headcanon. like, this is beyond perfection, I love you to a million gazillion bits for making it possible for me to read and experience this. I had high expectations 'cause you're Sarah and you blew those all to pieces.

one final ♥ for run.

Author's Response: Yarr, they are ferrying everyone to Witching! NUMBER ONE CLIODNA'S CLOCK RULE: BROKEN.

snortsnortsnort

Baww I am the Lourve. I will just bask in these compliments. I'm so happy you liked this story and you've rec'd it many times and I can't even tell you how floaty that has made me. (h) (hug) (h) I know that does not work here but it's all in the sentiment.

There were a lot of loose ends that needed tying, and I tied up as many as I could (but not everything, because in a span of two months everything reaching resolution would be unrealistic. Rowena is doomed to her love square forever.). And you're right, Cliodna's the queen of her little universe. She detached from wherever she sprung out of and planted her flag on this little two-island chain. And she's pretty much the god of it.

REWRITTEN YOUR ENTIRE HP HEADCANON, HOW DOES ONE RESPOND TO THAT. I just. I can't. -ded-

You are just the best. I lurve you to pieces and admire you so much as a writer. You're one of my favorite authors on this site so to have you enjoy something I've written is supes rewarding and gives me many squealy feels and can I just strangle you with my lurve because I feel like doing that just reading all of these fabulous reviews again. I know I'll continue to come back and reread them, too.

♥ ♥ ♥


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Review #39, by justonemoreficRun: Rules of the Prize

3rd January 2013:
walk quickly lol.

ooh OOH IS FRED FIGURING OUT SOME MYSTERY. because I hope there is still more people who can find out. But I love that he just sort of spends his time looking around because, I dunno, I kind of just hoped he would. Feeling alive and all that.

Haa, loophole. Still got it, Fred. Awww, HE WENT TO DELIVER TONK'S LETTER c: omg you are giving me such happy endings right now, Sarah. And Narcissa reunited with Andromeda feels feels feels.

AAH AND HE'S HOME HE'S HOME. Ohhh, 'lost' :c that's where it's been this whole time. CC really is a place for that, no? The lost.

“There are rules that comes with this. I am very clearly breaking them right now, talking to you. I’m not supposed to be seen or heard or anything.” I hear him saying this so casually like 'oh might be thrown in the depths of hell and such. I think. Mayhaps.' And he's got to leave George behind because that's the way death's got to be, but I hope he finds some sort of loophole in the punishment, because that's the way a Weasley's got to be.

OMG IT'S GEORGE OMG. !!! !!! ! !! ! WUT.
YOU'VE ONLY GOT 2000 MORE WORDS HOW ARE YOU GOING TO WHAT.

WITCH. WIIITCH.

Author's Response: Some people were kind of upset that Tonks didn't win because she couldn't deliver the letter, but this is so, so much better because she still gets to have the letter delivered but there's none of the pain that comes with seeing her baby and then having to turn around and leave. And obvs if she'd won, she wouldn't have been able to sneak in and hold him because Andromeda and Narcissa are both there and she most likely would not have had the nerve to reveal herself to them.

Lost. :( Which is what the clock will say for George now.

SWITCHING PLACES. PLOT TWISTS 5EVER. My goal was to give the readers whiplash to the point of death.

~


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Review #40, by justonemoreficRun: Evanesco

3rd January 2013:
I want to strangle so much of the crowd right now but at the same time I AM SO DAMN CURIOUS ABOUT EVERYTHING ALL THESE LOOSE tHREADS. I am so incoherent I cannae even leave a review.

WEEPING FOR COLIN AND i'm actually really happy Tonks doesn't have to go because I was at least prepared for Colin to go with my rampant predictions.

OH MY GOD THEY'RE MAKING A BREAK FOR IT. AHHH dfajkdfgab While citizens of Cliodna’s Clock could not swim out to sea past eight feet, the boats designed to transport people to the island were immune to this rule WHUT.

OH AND THIS IS WHAT JULIA DREW. SWIMMING UNDERWATER. I GET IT NOW.

if there was no in-between that we can remember leaving, then that means that we’re still in it. YES MY THEORIES!!!

AHHH THEY CROSSED OVER. LAV! EILEEN! DORCAS!!! -- WAIT. PAUSE EVERYTHING. I GET IT NOW. I GET IT. THE WINNER IS THE LOSER. THE WINNER IS THE ONE WHO DOESN'T WANT TO RELIVE THE EARTH ANYMORE.

And now I snuck a look into reviews and saw that there's a million universes and COLIN IS LIKE A KEEPER OF THE KEYS AND HE IS WITH ORLA AND EVERYTHING IS GOOD c:

Author's Response: And they're making a run for it! Last-ditch attempt to survive! Woo!!

THIS IS WHAT JULIA DREW INDEED. ♥ Wouldn't it just be the worst if they got down there and there was just nothing there. And they're like...well...good try. So they have to turn around and go back. That would not have been a good ending. I think readers would have tied me to a stake and burned me.

YOUR THEORIES!!! ♥

The winner truly is the loser. You think you're winning with the 24 hours but the other person, the one who prepares for death and has no choice but to accept it, passes over to a place where they're alive again. No more tournaments. THE FOG HAS LIFTED ~



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Review #41, by justonemoreficRun: Fight or Flight

3rd January 2013:
ok i'm crazy but I kind of just started getting super emotional at the start of this chapter knowing one of them will probably be dead at the end of it. I HAVENT EVEN READ ANYTHING. I read like victus and mortuss -insert sobbing-

ahem, anyway. the jelly memory bit, already loving it. I'm imagining fred swimming through jello.

COLIN'S ALREADY DEAD, WHAT? dude I am just on edge reliving the battle itself. AN ERROR. THERE IS A GLITCH IN THE MATRIX.

OH MY GOD. TONKS IS IN. THE MATRIX. THAT'S WHY. andg kjaglg excuse me while the tears fizzle out my laptop circuits YOU ARE TEARING MY HEART IN PIECES. Remus is a great everything, as I said before, and so is Tonks. Tonks is a great friend, fighter, and mother.

lol do I see you ridiculing a bit of the DH plot holes a la choice of battleground? ;D wait I'm sobbing.

AAAH BUT STILL WHO WILL WIN? BECAUSE THERE IS STILL ALL THOSE DARNED RULES. -raises all octopus arms like julia-

Author's Response: -pat pat-

Fred swimming through jello. Gina you provide the most hilario images, I will forever imagine him in jello now. Swimming past little bits of fruit. Eating some of it. Doing a cannonball. Okay I'm done now.

A GLITCH IN THE MATRIX. !!!

And it's Tonks!!! Eee! See, this was an unfair twist because it was supposed to be definitively Colin vs Fred. But to my credit readers can go back to the previous chapter and see where they switched places. :3 I think I was wearing an evil mustache the whole time I wrote this novel.

I CAN'T HELP MYSELF. I JUST CAN'T. I see a soapbox to go stand on and point out plot holes and it is too tempting not to say it.

I will keep you and Julia in a fish tank and you can be my octopuses. Octopi. Octopia. I will feed you bits of seaweed even if that's not what you're supposed to eat and call you Squishy 1 and Squishy 2.


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Review #42, by justonemoreficRun: Memories

3rd January 2013:
COLIN IS HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS, WHILE DEAD. THAT KIND OF HURTS MY MIND. But HE FOUND THE PUZZLE PIECE!! I MUST KNOW WHERE MY PREDICTIONS STAND D:

Pieces of Colin, through his eyes and Orla’s, would still be here tomorrow even if he wasn’t. It was Dumbledore’s wisdom fleshed out, the ordinary magic of memories enabling Colin to live forever. oh my babies, facing death so bravely c: you are a true gryffindor, more than gryffindor. Oh, and poor pale Fred. Fighting with his conscious. I DONT KNOW WHAT YOU'LL DO SARAH. BE GENTLE.

“You will be dueling inside your own combined memories,” he told them. “In the Battle of Hogwarts.” THIS IS NOT GENTLE.

“Your doppelganger in the memories, the ones who were really there at the time. You must find your actual selves as they lived and breathed, and actively prevent their deaths. I actually said WHAT THE NON-12+ OUT LOUD because that is CRUEL like, I can imagine both of them going, 'No I wouldn't want to change anything' because they BOTH died without regrets, doing exactly what they wanted, Fred for Percy, and Colin for the cause SO WHO WILL IT BE I SEE YOUR FORESHADOWING SARAH SO I AM GOING TO YELL IT BACK AT YOU!!!

Author's Response: YOUR PREDICTIONS GIVE ME SUCH LULZ. They are my favorite part of life.

The wee Gryffindors preparing to square off against each other. :'( Neither of them want to lose but neither want the /other/ to lose, either, and this is just the apex of regret right here. Door number one is 24 hours on earth and door number two is death. I think I would have died from sheer anxiety.

ROUND FIVE IS PRETTY CRUEL, I MUST ADMIT. But it had to be worse than any of the other duels. The stakes are high. DON'T HATE ME I JUST CAN'T HELP MYSELF, I ENJOY TORTURING READERS, IS THAT SUCH A BAD THING.

!!!


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Review #43, by justonemoreficRun: Blue and Bronze

3rd January 2013:
The Lupin house sounds like such a quaint house (except not really because the housework would be atrocious, but if I were magical, then yes). A dog and mismatched chairs (that are always full!) and Tonks trying to impress Remus with her successful everyday spells.

“But you’re always so impartial and…” She searched for the right word. “Justice-y.” You can always be a writer in your downtime, Tonks!

oh you did not just make me feel bad for crabbe. you're a monster, sarah ♥

All of Cedric's thinking's got me wondering again about the conditions for entering CC. I swear it's for people who still want to live a 'life' or have something to pass on. But his parents are here?! newcomers finally! you were getting a bit lonely there, Ced.

OMG ROWENA, SNAPE YOU TWO ARE A RIOT. “What would the Ravenclaw student get if he put a Gryffindor into a boiling cauldron and then threw in a handful of beetle eyes?”/“Psychological evaluations?” HIS HOBBY IS WATCHING PEOPLE TRIP OMG. I LOVE HIM MORE THAN EVER. this is my light sarah. ♥

Author's Response: Tonks trying to impress Remus, lolz. I like her even when she's fail. Tonks knows how to keep it real, yo. Okay I am just really sorry at this point at the state of these responses. PLEASE LOVE ME ANYWAY.

Snape watching the people trip. XD He's got to have something to give him his kicks. I think he'd be almost as miserable here as Peter. He literally has nothing. But the way I see it, Severus is kind of Godric and Salazar combined: Brave like Godric, but also has plenty of the bad bits, like Salazar. So Rowena, in my headcanon, finds in Severus the perfect combination of the two men she'd never been able to choose between. LOVE SQUARE AHOY!



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Review #44, by justonemoreficRun: Impending

3rd January 2013:
I LOVE YOUR FRED. ok let's be real I love everyone but i shall list the reasons why I love Fred. You could've gone the 'he missed george' route. BUT YOU DIDN'T. This was because Fred could feel the empty holes where Charlie should be, where Ginny should be. He didn’t have that sense of loss with George because he could still feel George. This. Best. Completely revolutionizes my headcanon. Now I'm wondering if he might give up so Colin can live. You are making me unsure of my theories late in the game. Devious devious Sarah.

AND HE KNOWS HE CAN'T KILL COLIN OR ELSE HE'D BE JUDGED AND GUILTY BUT IF HE DIES THEN GEORGLKDngklsdhnh. I AM EXPECTING PLOT TWISTS BY THE BUCKETFUL.

/OCEANFUL/ -hint hint-

Author's Response: I am not even previewing these responses anymore. They are probably full of typos. Onwards ~

This is why I just can't get into angsty post-Dh George and Fred angst. Even though I've written a one-shot like that myself. I think that while they would miss each other, they wouldn't feel such an emptiness because they were an integral part of the other. They're still /there/. I like to try to shove my headcanon onto other people in the most convincing way possible. These chapters are like mini blogs.

Seriously though who would want to be the reason why Colin is dead. Colin is like an innocent little Christmas penguin. You can't hurt a Christmas penguin.

PLOT TWIST AND SHOUT. OCEANFUL WINK WINK WINK.


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Review #45, by justonemoreficRun: Twisted Towers

3rd January 2013:
aaah at first the funhouse seems so hypnotically beautiful. I think the ghosts seem so quaint through Colin's eyes, and the star-bridge speaks for itself. But the death portraits D: omg so creepy.

The whole place is making my head spin *__* I feel like I should be picking up strange clues about the clock but I don't even know where to begin. Colin sees people! But why! And the sky! It's different! Exclamation! Though i expect the time to be just part of the task, but I feel like Colin's ability to see all these people come from something else.

AHHH FRED AND COLIN IN THE FINALS OMG YOU CRAZY WOMAN. ok so I got the order ALMOST right. But their reflections WHAT DO THEY MEAN why am I still asking this when I can get closer to the answer by going to the next chapter AND SO I SHALL GO.

Author's Response: Death portraits crey. Poor Fred. It would be worse for him than anyone else because he's got so many more family members to watch die.

Colin sees people because he's more open to his surroundings. He's not as single-minded as the rest. The sky! The sky reflects the different times of day, because a bunch of them end up in different time zones depending on where they're at in the funhouse.

FRED VS. COLIN Their reflections lol that was just part of the task. Their wands were taken from them and hidden inside of mirrors. So in order to get your wand back you had to look at your reflected self. And your reflection is the one holding the wand. I have a thing for mirrors so I just could not help myself.


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Review #46, by justonemoreficRun: The Beauty of Someday

3rd January 2013:
Aww everyone's bonding c: even silly Sirius is doing some good for his cousin. James’s tales of accidentally swallowing some of his father’s prized memories when he was a child (apparently they had been very old and valuable, and once belonged to Adalbert Hufflepuff). omg james.

And Sirius getting philosophical OH BUT YOU /ARE/ GROWING UP WITH YOUR FRIENDS. This idea of peace deceived them all. One generation would not be content until the next generation joined them, and the cycle would continue and continue forever. And this is why I continue on my theory that this island is a big ol' King's Cross Station where people wait.

--Ok so I had to leave RIGHT in the middle of Snape going into the Potters' home to go out for dinner, and I was like wailing 'BUT SNAPE' to the boyfriend, because I was tearing up while putting on my socks because THERE ARE APOLOGIES AND FORGIVENESS AND IT'S SO AWKWARD BUT TOUCHING AND PERFECT

AND IT'S NOT ROMANTIC; IT'S BETTER. IT'S WHAT BOTH OF THEM NEED. REMEMBERING THE GOOD TIMES, THEIR FRIENDSHIP. HE'S SMILING. SHE'S SMILING. THEY'RE GOING BACK TO THE BEGINNING MY HEART IS SWELLING. ♥

Author's Response: Another poem for you because my brain is fried:

Macaroni and cheese
Mashed potatoes
Fried chicken
Homemade rolls with cinnamon butter

This is actually what I am making for dinner tonight and not a poem, but I still thought it was beautiful. I need to pay better attention to whoever's giving these reviews because if I accidentally leave a poem like this for someone who is not you, they will probably never read anything on my page again.

BONDING. SIRIUS TURNING OUT TO BE THE MOST WELL-ADJUSTED OF ALL OF THEM. SNAPE KNOCKING AT THE POTTERS' DOOR. EEEP.


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Review #47, by justonemoreficRun: Line in the Sand

2nd January 2013:
I adore how you write the founders' romantic subplots; it's so sumptuous. Classy like the classics.

asfalkghjaf I don't even know how to express how much I ship him and her cold wit and his cold heart and together their banter. i think they rather deserve each other, Rowena being wishy washy and Salazar being so prideful. (mind my capitalization, im reading while on an exercise bike) that paragraph about their hearts asfdagh.

omg HE DITCHED CRABBE SALAZAR MY DEAR MY WOOBIEEE

ok terrible review b/c i am still biking ON WE GO

Author's Response: Cold wit and cold heart and they are so awful for each other but one can't help but ship them. Even though they clearly do not work together for long periods of time and there is just not enough love there to keep them belonging to each other, there's enough to keep them unsatisfied with other people. But they do deserve each other in the sense that Rowena drags Godric into the mix and stomps all over both of them while Salazar's silver tongue effectively chases her away. They are just bad romance, yo.

Reviewing on an exercise bike, I do not totally understand you Gina but ♥


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Review #48, by justonemoreficRun: Tradition

2nd January 2013:
BROMANTIC ANTICS Haaa, Snape is like that old man that kids go yell on. He's shaking his lawn chair at him through that window.

-Colin sized him up. “Dunno about you, but I don’t need a peace treaty. I’m plenty peaceable already.” He shook Fred’s hand energetically. c:
-whereas Cedric was now useless and could do whatever useless lolol not even mincing words now.

ALBUS AND GELLERT!!! Also lulz, Gellert's got sass too, “If he hasn’t got a sack-full of toys over one shoulder, I’m hexing his tongue to stick to the back of his head.” Dude, it's a duo of fabulous old men.

THE SLAPSTICK. OMG GELLERT BEING LEVITATED AND ALBUS GREETING LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG AND GELLERT BEING A CROTCHETY OLD MAN “Hooligan!” Gellert raved. “Who sent you? What are you after? My dragon’s blood? My Elixir of Youth?” CEDRIC IN A TUG OF WAR LOSING HIS PANTS.

Hehehe they are all so silly ♥

Author's Response: BROMANCE. ♥

lolol Cedric is useless now. It's okay, Cedric, you can go die on the side of the road now because you're not important. YOU ARE DISPOSABLE NOW.

Sassy old men. ♥ And here's why I think Dumbledore is keeping to himself and not questioning CC. He wants to be deluded for a little while longer while catching up with Gellert.

Cedric with no pants was just to make Rachel lose her mind. I wonder how many times she reread that sentence.

XD


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Review #49, by justonemoreficRun: Quidbumps

2nd January 2013:
The rounds have been so full of twists and I predict wrong 1000 times before the end, I am already at the edge of my seat.

Ohohoho Quidbumps. I see many former Quidditch players in the mix~ Hah, in this game, I imagine someone cornering Colin in a corner as he gets on his broom and constantly just knocking him off to rack up points. I would so do that.

After Fred mentioned this: They all must have perished in the Duel by now., I remember that I've also wondered about where everyone else must go, because there's got to be more people who die than 1 each year, so I think all the other people... have moved ON ON! OUT OF THIS PURGATORY. Like, people here still have people to wait for. Sons and twins and a life they haven't lived.

My bets are on Fred and James being out this round. I think Colin is safe because he's considered 'easy to beat', and I'm thinking Cedric and Crabbe (because he's willing to play dirty) might win. Watch me be terrifically wrong.

Colin had miraculously coaxed his broom into a skyward-pointing position, achieving a Wronski Feint in the first (and would probably be the last) time in his life. CHEERING FOR HIM AAAH. please tell me everyone appreciates colin as much as julia and I do. AH DON'T HURT IT, I AM GETTING FEELS ALL OVER COLIN THINKING OF THE SNIDGET MY BOY YOU KNOW TO PUT QUIDDITCH EQUIPMENT FIRST C: YOU. DE. SERVED. THAT.

OH THANK GOD. OH THANK GOD TONKS PICKED JAMES. EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED and Lily running over c: and promising never to enter again.

phew. that was. phew. ♥

Author's Response: This is only the 17th review how am I going to do decades more of them. Decades is probs not an accurate term. THERE'S NO BACKSPACING NOW, I AM PREPARING MY DESCENT INTO MADNESS. This is what I get for stalling so long on review-answering. I really pity whoever I'm responding to thirty reviews from now. My words will probably make them cry.

You /would/ position yourself next to Colin and rack up the points. Luck shines upon him, though. ~triumph of good~

Fred and James being out this round while Cedric and Crabbe win - YOU ARE USUALLY HALF-RIGHT IN YOUR PREDICTIONS, DO YOU NOTICE THAT. Cedric and James were the ones who lost this round while Crabbe was one of the winners.

And thus ends Lily's long career of signing up for the Devil's Duel. She almost needed the permission to stop, and now she's got it. And now she can finally move on.


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Review #50, by justonemoreficRun: Dreaming Again

2nd January 2013:
I am always up for a bit of dark brooding with Snape. I loooved that he's seeing Harry in Lily and James than the other way around, and I feel him moving on veeery slowly (admitting is the first step), but it's there and I'm hopeful.

Also Salazar is the best unexpected comic relief: Slytherin had drawn bitter comparisons about them all, saying that James was Godric and Snape was Salazar, and Lily would do exactly what Rowena had done and choose the easiest option. YOU ARE SUCH A GOSSIPY HEN.

Ugh what breaks my heart is that Snape sounds vaguely deluded at times but knowingly so, Some people were hailing Severus as a hero, but he didn’t feel like one. Even now, he would have taken all of it back – all of it – for the chance to run away from home when he was eight years old like he’d planned to do after his parents had had a huge fight and it's such a natural selfish desire I can't fault him.

the park ;A; perf, one word only: perf

Author's Response: Dark brooding Snape = the only kind of Snape. I should write an OOC Snape who prances around in delight, his greasy hair slicked back Grease-style. Also busting out into a musical in the Great Hall.

Salazar giving out advice. Salazar is so bored with his life that he appears every now and then in the village only to impart pearls of wisdom on the unsuspecting and bare his teeth at Rowena while silently crying. He is a drama queen.

SNAPE IS DELUDED, EVERYONE IS DELUDED. The ~island~ is a delusion. ~ ~ ~

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS FAN FICTION, IT IS A DELUSION, THIS IS ALL IN YOUR MIND.


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