Reading Reviews From Member: justonemorefic
631 Reviews Found

Review #1, by justonemoreficHunter's Moon: Hunter's Moon

19th July 2015:

Sirius is so excited to lose both his hands. I love how absolutely stunned he is that his friends don't want to. He is just TALKING THROUGH James and Remus I LOVE THIS. I don't know what you mean, Celeste, when you say you can't do humor because you do it in this awesome subtle snickering way--SIRIUS ARE YOU STILL THERE. Calling down from the staircases like a banshee.

OH. SNAP. Lily telling it like it is. You’ve done nothing to deserve it. All the other Prefects have been cleaning up the mess you and your friends have been making for years, and suddenly they’re supposed to listen to you.” I LOVE IT. I love that this is addressed. I have no idea if this is normally addressed but I love that Lily takes this so seriously because, I would too, Lily. Oh how bitter I'd be if some snotty Potter just swooops into the same position as mine, as if he's done! The work! To deserve it!


REMUS ;-; I am vaguely interpreting this the Sirius/Remus way jsyk. But also James is so precious omg I’ll make sure of it, even if I have to wear a damn wig and bleeding marry you myself. Bless. I do love James when is he fierce about his friends.

Awww, they're finally getting to know each other. I can feel the weight of the war talk; you always know how to handle heavier subjects just right. It's never purely terrible and grim; I can tell these are teens living in a war, who don't quite know what they're getting into, who don't know how to talk about it, who are seeing soldiers and deaths for the first time, who are unsure of how fearful they should be.

Omg the crush talking, it's so awkward and cute and I love that Lily kind of had a thing for Snape and Sirius briefly because everyone has those two week infatuations and I never understood why those hardly ever get mentioned?? “Hell, even Peeves would fancy the two of us if he spent enough time with us.” / “Thanks…I think…” I love how unabashedly weird your James is, like he's not at all charming here, he's just socially awkward it's wonderful.

Also 'In apology, I offer you any vital organ you like, except my liver, since that’s the only one I use these days.' and 'What d’you mean ‘we’? You’ve been gabbing away, all on about your undying love for a man who hosts a dandruff colony on his head.' He is too much.

Ugh, the end ;_; It's a bit of a serious note but you're so good at them. I looove how you wrapped up the Marauders with the counting of the days and their animagus forms (poor Peter). Here, especially, I see how their forms reflect their personality.

You've always been my favorite slice-of-life writer because you know how to write growing up and leaving us that anticipation for the future while also enjoying the present. A little hope, a little dread, a lot of life. ♥ THANK YOU SO MUCH CELESTE. I'M SO GLAD YOU FINALLY WROTE THIS :333

Author's Response: Ok. Finally. Responding to this.

Thank you for the review! Seriously, I hope you didn't feel obligated to do it. I just wanted to write a thing for you and the thing ended up being this thing.

;___; you're so nice when it comes to my humor. Thank you for humoring (har har) me! Also, yes, Sirius has to repress his love for arsony 90% of the time, but refuses to do it for Jily related reasons (the worst reasons, according to him). He would happily lose a hand or two (or three--he's more than willing to sacrifice the hands of the other boys) in the pursuit of mischief.

Lily is my spin on like...being pissy, but being pissy for a good reason. That's where I think she gets totally ruined in fanon by being turned into a ginger scream machine.

I'm not much of a Sirius/Remus shipper but I have no qualms if you wish to interpret it that way. More of Remus/Tonks and Sirius/Lack of sanity shipper myself.

Yeah! James is supposed to be awkwardly charming. Like I don't think people who are super charming in fiction can be that charming in real life. What does a normal person even say to nonstop witty retorts and dangerous levels of bombast? There would just be eye rolling and awkward silences, which is what I was trying to go for. James imo was way too fun to be a soapy romantic hero; he would have to win Lily over his way and that may or may not include a lot of stupidity and puns and such.

Poor Peter indeed. Sometimes JKR really isn't that subtle with who she screws over. Here's Pettigrew, the future traitor, the least physically attractive one, least intelligent one, barely got into Gryffindor. Also, his animagus form is a rat! I tried to make him seem more human though, what with his own fears/hopes/girlfriend, etc.

Ily Gina, thank you for reading and thank you for always being super lovely, funny and supportive!

 Report Review

Review #2, by justonemoreficDevilish Delights, Wicked Ends: V. Resurrection

7th July 2015:
Ok I already like this chapter more than any of the previous ones because of all the relationships we get to see, but most of all ROSE. R O O O O O S E.

"She could tell the difference between refusing to answer due to residual pain (and there was some residual pain) and refusing to answer due to principles" SHE KNOWS FROM EXPERIENCE. Ophelia asked for the worst, and damn. Faaav scene so far.

 Report Review

Review #3, by justonemoreficDevilish Delights, Wicked Ends: IV. Terror

7th July 2015:
your names are going to be the death of me.

HE'S HER BROTHER right, I forgot about that. SCANDALOUS. and STUPID, stupid Damian.

pls as if mafia can ever be handled outside of family, Roman. I adore their fear of their mother btw.

"That was what they all said before they fell into their death and morality spirals, wasn’t it?" lol. just lol. Sybil you see your own foreshadowing, come on.

ugh caspar. stupid face.

ew thackeray. that last scene, lawwwd NOW we're getting dangerous. This is why he's the strongman. HE DOESN'T THINK TWICE DOES HE. I'm now immensely interested in his fears, because something drives that viciousness.

 Report Review

Review #4, by justonemoreficDevilish Delights, Wicked Ends: I. Luck

6th July 2015:
ok i swear I partially reviews ch 1 somewhere but I don't know where it went. STILL ADORE THE OPENING LETTER. it is so sybil. I know the ride I've signed up for (or do I?).

I also love the word haberdashery and would not have known what it meant if not for context clues. Dear god Sybil, you're like one of those people who give ridiculously good gifts that no one else can top, and they resent you for it. Ugh, Slytherins.

antigone/ophelia/scorpius hyperion/albus severus bad name love triangle tho. wizards are so tragic and last century.

Theatrical characters give me life--Sybil craning her head like a giraffe, chugging boiling hot chocolate like a stone-faced veteran. "Isn't this funny" she said cooly, as if her mouth didn't have second-degree burns.

oh sybil you are going to get into so much /more/ trouble than what your family backstory/foreshadowing says. and it will begin because of hot chocolate.

"There were whispers in Slytherin that Potter’s control of the school echoed His reign, in times made dark by things like, oh, murder, Petrification, monsters, et cetera." thank you for making my albus = tom riddle dreams explicit *u*

ugh mafia men. all words. only good for free drinks rlly.

anyway you already heard the rest of my comments on this so ♥ onto the next one!

 Report Review

Review #5, by justonemoreficYour Heart on Your Sleeve: 2

2nd July 2015:
I am still ever amazed at how you write Luna's dialogue because she would totally say things like "That meant a lot, actually. You’re the one I would blame the least." and she just tells it like it is, really.

heheh rolf. Ew Draco why would you order olives. "even - somehow - Herbology." - "somehow" herbology I see.

How do you describe flats so succinctly??? Because that is a talent. I'm like, this is a room and it has furniture. I looove the mess that is her flat; it's got her personality in it, with the scarves and childish trinkets and the olfactory grenade!!! tangerine. I love that term.

"All those colours really drain you!" - i am now imaging a black and white Draco with a neon tattoo.

Ooh OOH, LUNA YOU'RE SO BOLD. also laughing at the fwoopers that keep coming up, now *I'm* thinking of fwoopers. Draco you have to steel yourself or you'll never become Inception!Draco.

The kidnapping is agony. I love how he remembers the manor in HER vision of it, Also: "His dream-sister, his prisoner, whose spindly, clammy hands would jerk him awake" and the ‘Have you come to kill me?’ line WHICH I REMEMBER.


"the evening up until that moment seemed garish, false, staged, as if the drinks and the smiles and the friendly chatter had been a performance." NOPE. I THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE THE CASE, BUT I FORGOT UNTIL THE END AND PUNCH. TO THE GUT.

♥ why do you do this hurt

 Report Review

Review #6, by justonemoreficYour Heart on Your Sleeve: 1

2nd July 2015:
JULIA YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE except you should have, because then the world has more Julia writing.

Clandestine meeting with Theo, are you sure this isn't Inception!Draco. Poor bb, he is all the colors that he shouldn't be ;^; GREY like his moral compass.

THIS WOULD HAPPEN. Harry would be too busy to mind Draco. You know I kind of live for the recap-paragraph in Draco stories that tell me exactly how miserable his life has been in recent times. I'm like, ok let's see how much the author likes watching Draco suffer. AND DRACO WOULD NOT SURVIVE PRISON, NOPE NOT ONE BIT. Omg get a love heart over the Dark Mark, great idea Theo.

ok I guess it isn't tattoo artist luna but I'll take this businesswoman tattoo artist!! Oh please no, not a Pansy heart Draco. Maybe a rainbow butterfly. Those are cool. "Somehow he felt he would prefer to be seen as a Death Eater than as the man with the Hippogriff patronus." -- Draco stop having fashion issues and just get a tat already you are going to jail, this is not the time to be self conscious about your patronus! Ah yes, a dementor to suit his personality. He too likes going around kissing random people and sucking their happiness from them.

"It wasn’t like he could ever ink over the fact that he had been a Death Eater." ;_;

TATTOOIST'S ASSISTANT HUZZAH! I always love your Luna, so to the point, exactly as quirkily mysterious as canon Luna, and you know no one ever gets that quite right. BISEXUAL LUNA YAAS! "‘I don’t like girls,’ Luna said. ‘I like people. But I rather think you wouldn’t have known that either." I just love everything that comes out of her mouth.

"it was a scratch, really. It was a scratch compared to the pain upon pain of the war." ;A;

"she resembled a pallid, pliable plant of sorts, like something potbound that had grown spindly for lack of fresh soil." also ;A; and A+ plant metaphor, I'm sorry bonsai!Draco will never die

"She didn’t like to be touched, he suddenly thought." WHY. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME JUILA.

AND THE ENTIRE APOLOGY SCENE IS PERF, you know how to make Luna's and Draco's lines hurt respectively because of the characterization you set up for them and you can do so much with a few lines of dialogue and a desperate tone.


 Report Review

Review #7, by justonemoreficHamartia: one.

24th April 2015:
YOUR PUREBLOOD FIC YAAAS. Gonna start throwing your fic back at you: "I did not realise that my primary audience was myself, and that they would not care either way" ouch. Am getting a they-wouldn't-care-at-all vibe here.

I love that the mum was SO SURE she'd be Ravenclaw, oh, oh how wrong she is. HOW FAR YOUR DAUGHTER WILL SPIRAL THAT SHE HAS THIS STORY TO TELL. And I love that despite the brevity of the childhood backstory, it is very informative and swift, with a few questions in its wake.

I LOVE ATHENA'S INTRODUCTION.: "She looked like a hard frost on a winter morning, her skin like marble and her eyes an icy blue; and she introduced herself with the air of knowing she was every bit as divine as her namesake. W O W OK. NOT SURPRISED SHE'S THE MOTH TO THAT FLAME.

♥ you will PREVAIL over this story

 Report Review

Review #8, by justonemoreficThe Ages of Love : The Ages of Love

10th April 2015:
Just wanted to pop into a fic fresh from the queue, and I saw yours; I've always wanted to read more of your stuff :D This is absolutely lovely. So whirlwind, like Oliver and Katie are running through life but at different speeds. I'm super fascinated by timing in romances; bad timing is one of my favorite quiet tragedies. You got me on both ends--sort of cheering for them while also seeing the foreshadowing for what it is, and I love love love the very last scene.


 Report Review

Review #9, by justonemoreficThe Present Hardest to Find: Hunting for a Present

15th January 2015:
Eee, hullo! I am hunkering down to enjoy this. It looks like a Neville/Hannah; I haven't read many of those, but it seems like there'd be an infinite amount of cute stories with them.

That woman is carrying a stew casually down the street; I like her fashion. Also the ruthless nature of DIagon Alley during the holidays. How inconsiderate of people to slip and fall and become roadblocks. There's shopping to be done!

Poor Neville; he's so responsible, professoring so young. Already giant spiders are wreaking havoc on his plants. And d'aww, his crush on Hannah is cute! I'm glad he has enough taste to not give her a Umbridge Cat plate. A shopping trip date, omg, that is actually an excellent idea Neville. If he's smooth, he can totally cover up the fact he has nooo idea what to get her xD You go, small confident Neville voice!

Ooh I wonder what he did get her. When I think of Neville, I think of remembralls and chubby cheeks. Forever a first year to me.

...HAHA, he got her the manure smelling boil plant, oh Neville you smooth charmer. Not every pub lady appreciates rare smelly plants; Hannah definitely one of a kind. I bet she feigned not knowing how to take care of it just to spend time with him.

Thank you so much for this oneshot! ^__^ I love it!

Author's Response: Hi there!

Neville and Hannah are such a cute couple that it's a shame we didn't get to see more of them in the books. Still, that means fanfiction writers have more room to write them as they see fit, right? :)

Oh, yes. So inconsiderate of those people. It should be illegal to slip and fall down during holidays. ;) Especially if you're carrying that evening's dinner!

Call me crazy, but I'd like an Umbridge Cat plate. I simply adore anything cat related. :p I think Hannah would have said yes to a shopping trip date regardless of how smooth Neville was because it's Neville who's asking her, after all. :)

Hannah really is one of a kind. I'm certain that Neville could have come empty-handed and she would have appreciated it nonetheless. And she would most definitely jump at any chance to spend time with Neville... preferably alone. :D

Thank you so much for reviewing this! I'm so glad you liked it!

- Emmi

 Report Review

Review #10, by justonemoreficA Christmas Cat: Buying a Kitten

11th January 2014:
I'M EXCITED. I saw your PM earlier in the day, but I wanted to wait until I left school to read it.

I remember seeing the preview posted in the thread, and I cackled and knew I was going to love it. I would heartily commend flower pot craft. Sacrifices need to be made in the name of art; for great art, it's necessary. Hugo's just wise for his age.

I'm imagining this train of very uninterested children at Hermione's shopping trips, being dragged from store to store with an ever-growing pile of bags (because buy in bulk and save money!). Poor Rose getting Apparition-sick; I wonder if she likes the floo any better.

CAT! :3 Hugie, that is an adorable nickname. At this point, I'm feeling like Hugo's a bit of a family pet, too. Knowing cats, I'm going to bet that cat will own Hugo rather than the other way around. Heee, I love Rose's independent research: She had spent an entire afternoon breathing steadily underneath the Christmas tree to gauge whether a kitten would be able to survive a night underneath all the baubles and branches. That is some forward thinking. I bet it's quite scratchy under there too, that's solid commitment.

every single animal had made it their personal mission to make as much noise as they possibly could - They're all saying I love you, pick me pleeeaaase.

Ooh a Kneazle! Of course Hermione would approve. I read too fast and I thought that Fluffernutter was some sort of wizard candy bar and then I thought Hermione was going to feed it to Ron, oh dear. But I sorted it out. And of course Ron can't use a toaster, I don't think I've found a single wizard who can.

Hugo is me when I want something. Rose, Rose, Rose, hurry my present is suffocating under the tree xD Oh, I bet Hermione was sneaky with the presents; parents would so do that. I wish I could remember more of my childhood to remember all the times my mom must have done this. And dawww the ending was absolutely fluffy with Fluffie! I'm totally jealous of Hugo *___*

♥ thank youuu ^__^ I absolutely love it. I loved the cute bits of Ron/Hermione and Rose's eagerness the most, and it was lots of fun getting to the end to see Hugo's final reaction!

Author's Response: AHH THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS LOVELY REVIEW! I've been sitting on it for two days because I have no clue what to say. :P

Hehe yeah, the preview was one of the first bits I set in stone. Flowerpot craft is very fun, even though I've only done it once. One of the reasons I gave art up was because of all the sacrifices I had to make. :P

Bahaha, that was based on my aunt's shopping trips. She walks very fast and very quickly and is extremely fussy over her food. :P Your imagination is spot on, I can completely imagine that! And yeah, I don't think Rose is a huge fan of Wizarding travel methods in general. :P

YAY! Hehe. xD Hugo is the youngest and most coddled. And haha, I'd say your prediction is a good one, pets always seem to eventually dominate their owners rather than the other way around! Rose's independent research is one of the things that made me giggle like a loony while writing this, I'm glad you liked it! She was very determined, and when she's determined she doesn't give up easily.

Daww, now you're making me feel bad that Rose didn't pick every animal in the shop, which is kind of ridiculous, but it would have been cute! Rose the Walking Petshop.

Yep, Hermione was the first to agree. And wow, that would have been a pretty crazy story! Glad you got it all sorted out, heehee. And Ron is about as adept with a toaster as he is with a telephone.

Bahaha yeah, I think Hugo is everybody when they want something. Parents are definitely the type to do that! I remember mine did, on the years that we weren't just having a free-for-all under the tree, that is. :P And yay, you found it fluffy! I was hoping it would be fluffy and not obnoxious. ;) Hehe, be jealous. Be very jealous.

I'm so glad you like it! Ron/Hermione is a lovely ship, one of my favourites, and I'm so happy you liked Rose, and Hugo's reaction. :D Thank you so much for this mega review!

 Report Review

Review #11, by justonemoreficgladly beyond: in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me

8th December 2013:
ARRRGHHH I LOVE EVERYTHING YOU WRITE??? HOW DO YOU DO??? THINGS??? I haven't read a fic properly in months and I've forgotten how to give reviews. I did that thing again where I jumped into the middle of a story because I was curious and I found myself scrolling up to get more context until I gave up and started at the very start. TWICE YOU HAVE DONE THIS TO ME.

You have this wonderful talent of getting me invested in your characters quickly. That's how you sell a fic from the middle of a story--start reading anywhere and I GET your characters. A little bit of humor or conflict, and always something new learned. Your voice for your characters are always pitch perfect, and omg I loved the cursing duo here. I don't know how to describe it exactly, but you're really good at showing vs telling and writing just enough dialogue. There are so many subtleties. I can tell so much just by the way Rose talks or what Scorpius remembers about her (sometimes it isn't what Scorpius actually remembers that's important, but why he chooses to remember that out of everything else). Lily, I love your Lily. I love her pretend-boyfriend lie and how she said it and that sentence of Scorpius considering taking her out for a drink. Just! All! The details!!

♥ ♥

Author's Response: ZMVCJZHUNCII GINAAA ♥ ♥



Bawww I'm just flailing like a drowning duck at your many lovely flatteries, because ugh ugh, I know that some people know me for my heavier descriptive style, but TBH this is the kind of thing I enjoy writing best...FLANGST. Ahh, I"m glad the characters resonated with you, even from the middle! I do that as well with stories, read from some random chapter in the middle and see how it sounds like, though I haven't done any proper reading for months now, just a oneshot here and there.

CURSING DUO, yes that's them perfectly. The two of them were such fun to write; I dunno, they're a little bit alien, sometimes rather snooty, quite alike, with a bit of intimacy problems, a little bit distant from each other. I dunno; I imagined this as a kind of half-frustrating relationship, the one where nobody makes a move, and things just linger on and of course the two are so isolated from everyone else, so there's quite a bit of stasis in their starting to ramble.

And Lily! Ahaha, she just happened. She wasn't going to feature strongly, but then she's the kind of strong character who really insists that she have a bigger role, and oh well, I love her as well. I've been trying to decide whether or not Lily is lying about that new boyfriend of hers, so I guess your review has helped me make up my mind. Lily's LYING. And not bothering to be very convincing about it, too.

YAY THANKS FOR THIS MWYJCJHAMESOME REVIEW, GINA! Srsly, you leave the best reviews EVER. ♥ ♥


 Report Review

Review #12, by justonemoreficA Brief Description on Life as a Ghoul: My Long Awaited Opportunity

16th July 2013:
An acting ghost? Count me in :D Especially such a sassy one. When I read Leonardo DiCaprio as best new actor, I remembered what years we're dealing with - Titanic years, eh? :D

Omg poor fool Ron, surrounded by conspirators and Hermione. Oh dear, he'll be the butt of things. HA I love that idea - the ghoul pretending to be Ron. He's acting for the sake of good too, the best acting :D

Any great actor has to make sacrifices in the looks department if they want to succeed I was once told, so I guess this would be my sacrifice. And I suppose he'd be thinking, plus my first role would be of this eejit, but I'm sure he thinks he can play dimwittedness well.

I just love the general condescension - kind of like the flavor you get with Lockhart's dramatic flair: I nodded my head eagerly; my opinion of this ginger clan had risen greatly. I suppose the ego follows the spirit in the afterlife.

♥ Such a fun read!

Author's Response: Bahaha, I actually had to research that due to being a baby/toddler for a large part of the 90s so I understand why you had to think about that :P

I know he just naturally has that role for some reason! I did feel a little mean, but it was so much fun too! Yes, though having the Death Eaters as the audience must have been pretty scary!

Yup! I don't really get why he looks down on playing Ron, that would be my dream role!

Of course the ego follows on! It works for Nearly Headless Nick, after all ;)

Thank you for this fabulous review and I'm glad you liked it!


 Report Review

Review #13, by justonemoreficThe Cusp: Time

16th July 2013:
Celestee I've missed your writing ;A; This is such a beautiful moment. You always have the best use of color (did you ransack the paint tab section of Home Depot, hem hem).

This is my favorite bit: "the familiar scent of her mother adding garam masala on saffron, creating a painting within their dinner, could feel the thrill under her skin when she’d heard “Gryffindor!” for the first time, could see the ocean of colors at her first Quidditch match." along with the scene where they landed in England the first time, "the decaying hospital building in Madras where she was born, of the grey airplane they’d boarded, of their first apartment, of the grey hairs on her father’s head that he now slicked down with coconut oil" and her mother listening to the radio. I'm probably forgetting a few. But these descriptions are so steeped in culture and nostalgia; I can see a whole childhood pass with a sunset. Ugh i always read your fics to remember how to description.

Oh, and the detail of Padma and Parvati's interaction at the very end :3 The nudging! Is so cute! Maybe it's the sunset and the cooking, it all leaves me kind of warm.

♥ miss your writing, I have to still read 'This Time With Us' ;A;

Author's Response: GIIINA I logged back in just to respond to this because this review made me all nostalgicy T^T

I miss your writing too! I PROMISE to finish Capers this summer - it's even on my summer to do list heh. Thank you for your kind words on the writing too! You're kind of my go to person for snappy dialogue though :3

Thank you thank you thank you~ I hope school and life are going well for you! And I hope you get to This Time With Us whenever you can! ^^

 Report Review

Review #14, by justonemoreficMuggle Studies: Summery and Summary

15th July 2013:
"they’d definitely exceeded his admittedly low expectations." That's all he wanted, I'm sure. I love that it's enough to impress Aurora, knowing how tight her hair bun is.


Oh Archie, your purebloodedness is showing -- fifty pound note. You could buy the blender.

Whoa, whoa whoa, he told her about the fake sim version of them and he wasn't creeped out I'D BE CREEPED OUT (not that I haven't done it the same, hem hem). But dang Archie, you got yourself a gem there, hold on and cast a sticky glue charm on her and never let go. Especially when you go out in Sponge bog Square pants socks, lawd.

“You seem not to have inherited the business gene,” Archibald drawled, glancing at the counter, “I’ll pretend I think you’re of wizarding origin, your class continues to laugh at me behind my back, you get the money and then you split it,” HA. And again, I say I am most approving of your use of bets and deals.

SEE I THINK AFTER THE WAR, THERE WOULD'VE BEEN AN UPSURGE OF STUDENTS NAMED HARRY POTTER, I wanted to make that joke myself, but I never go the chance.

c: Heee, it's been such a fun read, Helen. This is one of the best humor stories I've read, definitely the best 12+ one 8D CONGRATS ON FINISHING THIS, SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG TO GET HERE. ♥

 Report Review

Review #15, by justonemoreficMuggle Studies: Don't stop the partaay

15th July 2013:
"Vicky, I know the concept of deceit is mostly above you, and I’m not expecting a Poker Face here, but you might do better if you stopped showing McDonald your cards." and "And Vicky, do not eat the poker chips." Vicky is seriously on fire (will she be literally on fire? wouldn't doubt it, with this talk of thermodynamics)

Oh my god he's considering teaching actual physics, of all the things, this might be the craziest ARCHIE DON'T DO IT.

“She’s writing her extended project on Twilight,” Archibald grimaced, “and how the supernatural is portrayed in sensationalist young adult novels.” ... Along with the several pages of fanfiction Gina had found on the internet. And the six other books she’d referenced. I AM JUST GOING TO PRETEND IT'S ME :D Oh wait, no can I be dom with her sheep puns, that is actually really impressive. "the shear extent" I am rolling, Helen, rolling. Considering Archie's penchant for punning names, she ought to get full marks.

HAH THEY CHOSE WHITNEY HOUSTON Well, can't fault them for a classic, I guess? Right, I ought to do more than throw your fic back at you - but that paragraph was such a perfect drawl of his thoughts.

“It’s the milkshake, Professor,” -> WHEN I READ THIS I WAS WHISPERING TO THE SCREEN *finish the line finish the line -- yes* And then HE QUIPPED BACK.

AWWW. AWWW HELEN, OMG THAT SPEECH, I'M GETTING TEARY (half from laughing the Professor’s borderline inappropriate love of muggles is still ongoing, She’s blatantly too good for him, oh god the squib thing isn't over yet). On the whole, he wasn’t sure whether or not any of the above had been a compliment or merely a string of insults masquerading as something positive. I'm not sure either, Archie, I'm not sure either.

♥ THIS WAS THE BEST almost conclusion TO THE SCHOOLYEAR :3

 Report Review

Review #16, by justonemoreficMuggle Studies: Parashoot-me-now-please

15th July 2013:
“I didn’t tell them to jump off the astronomy tower.” -> Oh dear, this beginning. The things it bodes.

"as Vicky was a little too confused by the whole concept of a cinema to move onto any other electronic entertainment and, as far as Archie knew, most Muggles had stopped leaving the house after the invention of the Wii sport" -> BAHA, oh I love that you use this fic to commentate on Muggle trends; it's so hard to do that in HP fic.

"“Art Museums and National Trust houses,” He said pointedly, “but then I am middle class.” -> SNORT. And the commentary continues. And then "Vicky looked like she was about to ask what ‘middle class’ meant" seriously you're on a roll, Helen. I've gleaned a bit about Brit politics from Julia so I can nod along with these attitudes.

Oh god, how did you go from modern art to parachuting Archie, how, how.

The lead up to Kevin was just the best, I could actually sense the dread trickling down his forehead in little trickles.

"They didn't... die" I AM DYING. "And he had to explain how the parachute worked in detail because, otherwise, if they tried it they’d definitely die." AT LEAST HE'S SEMI-RESPONSIBLE? :D

"Not great, but they’d probably have only been one death max. And James might have caught that body. And surely someone would have thought to immobilise the crap out of the falling body." I realize I'm throwing your chapter back at you right now, but I just have to emphasize that this chapter is GOLD. It's ok, Harry fell like a hundred feet. He only lost all his bones.

♥ ♥

Author's Response: GINA.

I was nearly crying writing this chapter, ngl. I had the first line and I was like I LIKE THIS STRUCTURE IMMA DO A THING WITH THE STRUCTURE and than I really liked doing the thing with the structure and basically I'm quite proud of how this chapter turned out so I like the regurgitation of the chapter because it makes me smile and what not.

IT'S NOT HIS FAULT. ahha. they set him up but obviously the connection between modern art and parachuting is a very real occupational hazard.

You're making me miss Archie, damnit. And I am SO VERY GLAD you get the Brit politics bits and pieces because because because I actually have no reason but the first bit remains.



THank you for reviewing :D

 Report Review

Review #17, by justonemoreficMuggle Studies: A Good sport

15th July 2013:
"particularly because Neville was a genuine hero" -> aw, he remembers, even in the midst of important professor prank/betting business. I don't know, Neville love just makes me happy. OH NEVILLE YOU ARE SO EAGER, I could pinch your probably-wrinkly cheeks. Fences! Industralising revolution!

Ha, Aurora gets things done, I like her. She also gets Archie into Situations, so. Oh dear, a Muggle Studies brigade of student volunteers, I can see where this is headed. *Here's hoping for exploding basketballs*

“Without blackmail?” -> I like how this is the immediate concern.
“in the name of closing the gap between Wizarding and Muggle culture for the generations to come.” -> YOU GO ARCHIE! even if you are mostly hypnotised by certain womanly wiles.

Can I just say that I am in perpetual appreciation for your use of bets and side dealing and wheedling and scoops. Every student and professor for himself.

“Archie,” Dionne said, lips pursing as she turned towards him, “I hadn’t realised we were married with several children.” Oh dear they went all out.

AND A KISS ON THE CHEEK! From the hottest prof in Hogwarts, according to the school newspaper. Now it's canon!

 Report Review

Review #18, by justonemoreficMuggle Studies: Regular Dom-foolery

15th July 2013:

GO RAVENCLAW Archie. I don't recall if you mentioned his house before, alas I forgot then, if you did. Omg Archie and Dionne have so much common. Dang it, I forgot what a space hopper is again *googles*

Ohhh dear, locked in a broom cupboard, we know what that means. professors, yes I am exactly right. I'm still in high belief that pranks are 1000% funnier from Archie because he's cast with RDJ. 'Teaching' and 'treachery' aren't far off lexically, you know.

“You’re coming out of the closet!” Miss Barbie declared. -> SNORT

AW I mean it's kind of sweet that they'd save his job so quickly. "his sixth years seemed to assemble themselves into a legitimate group of protestors and burst out into the corridors yelling things about the freedom to use Space Hoppers and occupy whatever broom cupboard they wished to occupy." oh my god this is the actual best, of all the protests, I would join this one. You know how I'm a fan of large mobs occupying Hogwarts.

"Apparently the idea that Archibald would keep Muggle, and therefore extremely volatile, explosives in his office was a little too believable for Sinistra to dismiss." Explosions are why you're loved, Archie.

“Currently, Miss Skively and Mr Weasley are attempting to convince Aurora that a legendary incident involving a Space Hopper was actually their fault, rather than yours.” SEE THEY'RE ACTUALLY DARLINGS.

Oh I've missed Muggle Studies so ♥ A bunch of eejits, all of them. Must finish the rest!


I think this is the first time his house was mentioned, actually. He has a touch of the Hufflepuff about him, but someone so... nerdy. Well, it had to be done.

HA YES ALL THE MOBS GINA. And broom cupboards. I'd forgotten how much fun I had writing this and now I'm sad that it's over all over again.

there's something special about closet jokes and explosions and space hoppers and such and THANK YOU FOR RETURNING YOUR REVIEW IS GREATLY APPRECIATED (as are you)


 Report Review

Review #19, by justonemoreficThe Last Venture: The Last Venture

14th July 2013:
I've read a few oneshots of the Prewett brothers before; I love what ideas people come up for them. I think this is a good fleeting moment - action can be difficult to write well, as it's all about timing and emphasizing exactly the right descriptions. I get a good idea of the scene immediately - I rather like your beginning with a 'Come out and fight!' It immediately sets up conflict and mood.

We know they're going to die, of course, so when Fabian whispers 'Cradle to grave' I'm starting to hold my breath because I know this is the last stand.

I would've loved to see more at the end - the beginning was quite well paced but I think i just needed one more 'oomph' moment at the end to herald the beginning of their end. I like Gideon's 'Avenge us' though, I think you make good use of sparse dialogue.

Good, quick read! :)

 Report Review

Review #20, by justonemoreficWe all fall down: We All Fall Down

14th July 2013:
Oooh, I learned about the true meaning of the ring around the rosy song long ago. I absolutely love it, and I love that you're using it as inspiration! I like the beginning the best, when you're setting up the scene with Lily, and you introduce the coldness of the room and her skin.

I was worried for Lily for a second, as plagues tend to be contagious for that's how they spread, but I wonder how this one spreads if it's not. I like the idea of a wizarding plague though, I hardly ever see stories with that idea.

I think their dialogue could be stronger and more impactful, so it can contribute even more to the story. I actually kind of like Rose's last line being Hugo. It's a little out of the blue, but it makes me wonder on my own, what he means to her. Lily also is mostly an observer in this story, and her thoughts tend to repeat toward the end. Some variety would help bring the fic together as a whole :)

Hope that helps!

 Report Review

Review #21, by justonemoreficDate Night: She's the Boss

14th July 2013:
Oh it's been wayyy too long since I've read Ron/Hermione fic, especially Ron + Muggle things fic 8D bahaha, I love this description: "Hermione's lips were sealed tighter that a goblin's greedy grip. It all annoyed him, and he felt his face getting redder and redder, as red as the two muggle call-boxes they had just passed." It's such a hilarious, almost grotesque image xD Really, all of Ron's passive anger is the best. "Something Shaky" - omg, I love that too. "It had been alright, he supposed, but he didn't really get it."

"She took his hand then and led him on down the street like a kindly mother might guide a troubled child." Oh dear, I feel like this is a regular occurrence for Ron while Hermione's around, whether there's a surprise or not.

AHA, she's taking him to a theater. He can tell because of the popcorn, that is such a Ron thing to do omg. It's like how his Amortentia smells partly of bacon. "he found that he liked them quite a lot, sometimes more than the movie they had come to watch" I TOO GO TO THEATERS FOR THE TRAILERS c: That's because they're all the best bits.

THEY'RE WATCHING HARRY POTTER. Ohoho I didn't see that coming.

That was great! Pure silliness, I loved it :D

Author's Response: I am so glad you liked it, this story was such a chore to write. I never have that much trouble with these little stories, but this one was just evasive and maybe even a little abrasive on my poor ole, aching brain.

It was a lot of fun to read afterwards though, and I am so glad of that. Ron and Hermione are my favorite pairing, and its always good to write something around one or both of them.

Very glad you enjoyed this little piece, and thanks for the R&R.


 Report Review

Review #22, by justonemoreficBliss: One

14th July 2013:
Hi! I thought I could be your first review!

I see your first chapter is a lot about introducing your main character; I get a pretty good idea of what her family is like and what she likes to do. I rather love Oliver Wood :D and Quidditch stories, even if I personally have as much abilities in sports as a noodle. I like the idea of her mom being friends with the Potters! The Weasley/Potters did have humble beginnings.

I see a lot of description scattered through the story - her brown hair and eyes, and then about her house, for example, and then some sentences about her housemates. It might be a good idea to separate these descriptions and not tell all of this information at once, and spread it out through the story instead :) We don't need to know everything about her quite yet - it's still the first chapter!

I also see some usages of numbers like 3 story and 15 minutes, and these should be written as 'three' and 'fifteen', unless they're something special like Platform 9 3/4.

Aah, train meetings. I already like Shelby from her little bit at the end. It'd be nice to hear more about her housemates right in those ending paragraphs, actually!

Hope this helps as a first review ^__^

 Report Review

Review #23, by justonemoreficAcceptance: Memories

14th July 2013:
I saw this fic didn't have any reviews so I thought I'd look in! :) I love Luna. Reading this line: "Ever since the Battle of Hogwarts, most students now knew the previously invisible force that pulled the carriages to the castle." makes me think of how the students must know more and more because more of them have had brushes with death. I like how you wrote her dialogue, the last line of hers especially: "They aren't here to remind you of their deaths. They're here to remind you of how they lived. Of how you should be living." It's a rather nice way of thinking of thestrals! I've always been fond of them myself.

The scene changes were a bit quick - I'd love to feel a bit more of the forest in Luna's PoV as the thestral comes in, and feel some suspense as Neville enters the scene. I'd also love to see more of Luna herself and maybe how her life connects to the thestral personally, via her own past experiences, and maybe some of her thoughts about Neville, since the end implies a bit of romance. :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much for your review! I'm really glad you gave me those suggestions to because I'm going back to edit the one-shot to add to the word count and to the story between Neville And Luna. They're really great suggestions. And I've always thought that the thestrals were misunderstood and I wanted to give people a reason that they were there. Thanks again for reviewing and I hope you check back when I've edited it.


 Report Review

Review #24, by justonemoreficYoung and Beautiful: Young and Beautiful

14th July 2013:
I've come to really love Fleur after the books, and I wish I appreciated her more as a champion while I read the series. Your opening endears us to her quickly, and I think there's something very honest about it, like she's tired and she just wants to spill out her thoughts. I think there are some times that sound a little awkward, either from some unevenness in her voice or grammatical errors ("if the prospects of a real relationship entered the scene, they were gone before I can blink." -> prospect, I could blink), but otherwise I get a good feel of what she's like.

Aah, I love that Bill remembers her for being a Triwizard Champion! And then brings up Harry hehee, he's so up to date with Hogwarts happenings. I would've liked to see more small scenes with them in the middle. I think the bits about Fleur's appearance could be tied in better during the dance scene - maybe described in a different way. Right now I'm only reminded at the end of that scene. Though I understand it's for a challenge, I think this oneshot could work well focusing more on their romance, too, and not just Fleur's looks!

It was good to read about Fleur again! :)

 Report Review

Review #25, by justonemoreficRosewater: Rosewater

14th July 2013:
I haven't read a Bellatrix fic in ages. It's so serene compared to what I'm used to, and I suppose in her madness, she must have had memories, wishes, and nostalgia stored somewhere. I love the focus on decay - "a host to languid tendrils of dust and age" - it kind of reminds me of the old manor houses in Gone With The Wind falling into disrepair with the war, and Southern royalty losing their wealth. Especially with lines like these: "There was elegance in antiquity, that she knew. Elegance in the old world and it was the old things that mattered." In Bellatrix's eyes they were like royalty, she was taking back what was hers.

I like the quiet build up - she's taking this long stroll around the manor, but with such war-heavy thoughts ("Order could only be restored through force"). She comes to life with the perfume - representing her, I would think. They're strong, musky things, difficult to get rid of. She blooms again after being freed, to take her place beside her master. It's wonderful imagery!

Lovely one shot! ♥

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>