Okay I decided to read this one of your stories when I was luring on your author page because the idea intrigued me. It was an extremely original idea with a rare pairing. Two things I really love in stories, in mine or others. Well you didn't dissapoint me I never gave the idea alot of thought but what you write down could have really happened it could be canon. I like the fact you showed us this side of Ginny! Well done! I I greatly enjoyed it.Author's Response: Wow, thank you :)
It's great that you liked the idea. The plot bunny attacked me when I re-read CoS and wondered, why Ginny's experiences with Tom Riddle hardly ever occur in the following books.
Again, thank you very much for reading and reviewing!
Miriel Report Review
Sorry for the long wait but sleep, school and making homework got in the way. Well seeing this one is also a Ariana/Gellert and I have not read one yet on the site I decided to check this one out.I thought your descriptions were very beautiful and the emotions Gellert felt of her passing. You captured everything in those 500 words. Well done! I greatly enjoyed it!Author's Response: Yay! That's okay, I completely understand :D THanks! I had never really considered this ship before I wrote it :) THanks you so much!!!
Jaz, x Report Review
I like the fact that Albus knew that they like each other. Rose was very adorable in my opinion. It was very enjoyable!Author's Response: Thanks for the review :) Report Review
Well I choose this story if yours to read because of the title and of course Bellatrix. I mean yeah it's a simple title but still somehow it lured me in. The I looked at the summary and I was sold I knew I had to read this. So well done for that! But the best job you did was when I read it I just fell in love. It was just amazing the way you described everything, the mood of the story everything was just fabulous. You really captured Bellatrix's essence in the little piece. So bravo! IF I have once time I will check out your other stories!Author's Response: Hello! Sorry this response took so long!
I'm very glad the title and summary reeled you in; it's always great to know that those elements work, because I usually don't spend a great deal of time thinking about them. I'm even happier to see that my imagery and my characterization of Bellatrix worked for you.
Thank you for such a kind review, and I do hope you'll consider checking out my other work!
-Amanda Report Review
First thing first I love your chapter image. It's really beautiful but now back to the story! I really thought you started your story great. It lures your readers in and it was fascinating in my opinion. Your dialogue and characterisation were fantastic so I could keep that up! It reminded me a bit of how JK Rowling writes. So that's ofcourse a huge compliment!I like the way you portrayed Snape and you just did a great job!Author's Response: Thanks for the review! :) I think the reason I characterized Snape so well is because he's one of my favorite characters!
~Rosie Report Review
Okay first thing first I love the fact it's about a minor character. I mean yeah from the title I should have noticed it is about her but I didn't. It suprises me that not more people write about her she is you could say a important character in the books and the Three broomsticks are quite populair. So kudos for originality!I thought it was wonderfull written and I think this could be so slipped in canon so great job on that too. I also liked the flow you had and the characterisation. You can go alot of ways with this story and I'm curious about what you are going to do.Author's Response: Hi! I always thought the title was too obvious actually, but obviously not (haha get what hapened there? :P) . You're right, there aren't many Rosmerta fics. I searched her name, and only found a Rosmerta/Filch one shot and an abandoned novel, and some other stuff... Ahha, thank you! I've got lots planned, and I love this story so far. Report Review
Sirius and I had gotten into many embarrassing situations together. Like that time we had popped our heads between the cage bars at the zoo to see the hippos closer up and got them stuck in between the bars. Panic ensued, as our heads were exposed to the animals, but a few minutes and a few yanks and tugs later, we were both free.
They did what! Are they stupid!?! Whahahaha.
Iím curious what that thing is Remus told Sirius. Could you give me a small hint? What could anger James so much? Has it anything to do with a certain miss Lily Evans. Also Remus needs to live up a bit. Needs to have some fun. Great chapter!Author's Response: hahaha, I see it as something plausible. They are the Marauders after all.
Hmmm...good guess missy :D You'll see!! I agree, Remus could use a good run around in pink boxers.
~~Chelsea Report Review
Great she can see the difference between Fred and his brother. Does she also hate George or just only Fred? Oh I already see my question is answered. But why can she get along with George and not with Fred? Fred and George do have similiar personalities. Ofcourse there are some subtle differences but personality-wise they are almost the same.
Also sheís a Slytherin. Which I absolutely adore but I always thought the Weasleyís hated all Slytherins. Why is she any difference for George? Is she from a Slytherin family?
ďWhy didnít you tell me how beautiful she was? Goodness, how did you get someone like Katya to come to the wedding with you?Ē She asked smiling.
This comment of Mrs Weasley really made me laugh. I thought it was typically Mrs Weasley. Also love the way she reacted towards Katya. Also great effects of that potion! Love the way you described it.Author's Response: Yeah, that is the irony of it :D Fred and George are very similar people, but Kat is so irrational that she only sees the bad in one of them. I think I may have mentioned this briefly, but Kat and Fred had some sort of misunderstanding a few years ago, and George says that he doubts if they even remember what its about.
I know they typically have a dislike for Slytherin's with those 'complexes' but I thought Fred and George wouldnt have that prejudice so much. Also, Kat (though she is a total bitch) doesnt really have a prejudice about blood traitors and such. Yes, she's supposed to be from a Slytherin family, though not one like the Malfoys.
Haha, Im glad you found it funny! I see Molly as someone sweet and cuddly yet really blunt as well.
Yes, the afterefffects will be in the next chapter as well!
Thanks for reviewing, this challenge is so fun to be doing!
~~Chelsea Report Review
Does Dean actually knows his father is a wizard? A pureblood I think who died because Voldemort wanted him to join him but he didnít want to and that was the reason he walked ou on them. Also how many siblings does Dean havve actually? Only Georgia and Austin or more?
Aww it was so sweet that Dean gave his mother that drawing and that he didnít want his mother to be sad anymore. Also loved the akwardness between them that emerges sometimes. Typical with teenage crushes. Loved the fact Parvati doesnít know how to draw properly. Makes her seem more human. Hope you update soon!Author's Response: Dean wonders about his father very much... like any teenage kid who has been told his stepfather is not actually his father. Dean does not know that his father was a wizard and he is under the impression that his dad was an asshole (for walking out on his mum). I think i will eventually write how Dean finds out.
There will be a lot of family background for not just Dean, but Parvati too(her grandmother, her parents, her sister, etc.) How her family will cope with her having a boyfriend- oops!- I mean IF she has a BF... ;)
I would say that Dean has about four siblings (but i might change that) we will probably hear more of them soon.
thanks for the review! ** Report Review
I really love this chapter! LOve the fact that Dean asked Hermione.Author's Response: haha, of all of the MAIN characters in HP, that are constantly mentioned in the books, Hermione is the one that I use that is part of JKR's important plots but also has her little side stuff that happens. Like helping out Dean. Report Review
This was such a great chapter!
Love the fact Clare doesnít know how to ride properly. Also seeing the difference between all three families was briliant. Marianneís stuck-up mother ( with that awfull comment:ĒThat oriental-looking girl? Oh yes, her motherís Chinese, didnít you know? The people theyíre letting into England these days, I donít know.Ē Which if I were Clare would never ever ever talk to that woman again.) and sweet Mr Carmichael, Judyís parents and brother who remind me a bit of the Weasleyís. Also who is Annie? Is she Judyís litlle sister? Also loved Judyís fatherís accent. Made the story seem more realistic. And ofcourse Clareís awesome family!
Loved the way Rosemary reacted when Clare came back. Itís nice to see a differetn side of her. I cracked up the way Grandma Wu reacted when she saw Clare. My own grandmother reacted once exactly the same. Also can Clare speak Malaysian or maybe Chinese? What does Fei Yin mean actually or is it Granma Wuís name?
You had a very great end! It was so sweet! Especially the last sentence.
He wondered how close he had come to losing her, and emotions swelled in his chest, painful and all-consuming, too many to feel all at once, leaving him breathless and unable to sleep.
PS: 10/10Author's Response: Yay! I'm so happy that you liked reading about the different families. Marianne and Judy are huge parts of Clare's life, so I wanted to show a bit of background for their characters. And yes, Annie is Judy's little sister - maybe I'd better go back and make that clearer since the queue is so short! I was aiming for a family similar to the Weasleys for Judy, but I'll see how that pans out.
Phew - so far no one's commented negatively on the accent! I'm not great with phonetics :P
Ooh I'm pleased you picked up on that. I'm trying to show different sides to Rosemary's personality. Clare can't speak Malay or Chinese, and Fei Yin is Grandma Wu's name. Rather embarrassingly I've forgotten what it means...but when I looked it up it meant something about strength. But now I've found it means 'silver crescent moon' or something :P
Thanks for the lovely review!! :D
Grandma Wu is so funny. Reminds me a bit of my own grandmother sometimes.
Aunt Amelia? That one I didnít expect. I seriously forget Clareís father is the brother of Amelia Bones. Even though heís a Bones. But that makes Claire also related to Susan Bones. Is Amelia Bones ashamed of the fact Clare is a Squib? Also the way you described the other aunts in comparement to Amelia was great. It made it seem more realistic and the fact Clare has also other relatives then the ones you showed us.
Aww Clare thinks her parents are ashamed of her? Also love the fact you put so many canon characters in it. Makes it seem more realistic.Author's Response: Haha yes, Clare is (or will be) related to Susan, since she hasn't been born yet. And yes, Amelia is a little ashamed of Clare, but I don't think that's quite the right term - I think it's more she doesn't know how to deal with it. The Boneses (that looks weird) are an old wizarding family, so a Squib would have been quite a shock. We saw what Ron thought of Squibs in Chamber of Secrets - he thought they were a bit of a joke - so I've always believed that no matter how accepting a family was, Squibs are still something that most magical people consider 'shameful'.
I'm thrilled that you liked the comparison between Clare's other aunts, and there's a bit of a cultural aspect there too.
I'm glad you liked the other canon characters! I wasn't going to, but then I thought Fudge would be a nice addition :)
Thanks for the review! Makes my day :D Report Review
OMG a Slytherin and a Hufflepuff. I never thought it could work out in my whole life. A Slytherin and Ravenclaw, yes. A Slytherin and Gryffindor, yes. But A Slytherin and Hufflepuff, no. But boy you made it work out. I have to applaud you for that accomplishment. Your writing style is great and I'm wondering why did I never heard of this story before.
Adrian Pucey is such an amazing character. He's really a bad boy and I'm a sucka for them. So I could see this really happen. Your character Tatum is not how most people write the typical Hufflepuff while I can still imagine her being a Hufflepuff. I think Cedric is a bit jealous here, isn't he. I'm curious how her family and his family are going to react ofcourse face to face. I hope you update soon and I favourited this story because it's so promising.
PS: 10/10 Report Review
Yeah you updated!
Edgar and Alastor donít like ech other that much, do they? Iím actually quite glad of that fact Alastor always seemed to me as a character that didnít like much people and only respected a few. So I see this as a good thing. That comment of Edgar that he was at least a foot taller than Alastor and that he could beat him in a fight if they werenít allowed wands. Is so typical male. It amused me a lot. It was my favourite sentenc in this chapter.
Edgar had been fairly sure she would say no, but he was the optimistic sort so heíd asked anyway.
Why did Edgar thought that Rosemary would say no? Also why didnít Edgar went to look for his daughter (at the end of the chapter)? At the ladt chapter I really thought that the person who opened the door was Edgar. So seeing he probably isnít the person who opened the door. I have to say I think itís Remus or Sirius.
-xoxox- elladoraAuthor's Response: I think (well, I know) they're very different people and I'll delve into their relationship a bit more - if you remember from the books, Moody described Edgar as a 'great wizard' (I'm paraphrasing). We're on the same page about Moody - he never came across as the friendly type, did he?
I was in two minds about that line - I thought it might be a little immature, but I decided to put it in anyway since Edgar's a little intimidated by Moody (and to be honest, who wouldn't be?). I'm glad you liked it!
Ahhh I shall explore their relationship a bit more later, but Rosemary's the type who doesn't really show her emotions very well (not sure if that's come across or not), so that would be why Edgar was a little unsure about her feelings for him.
I probably didn't explain that very well at the end of the chapter, but Edgar had just gotten home much, much later than when I left off the last chapter. I might have to clear that up.
Next chapter's in the queue, so I won't tell you who opened the bookshop door ;)
Thanks so much for your review (and for pointing out that last point...I'll have to go and read over that again)! Report Review
When I first saw your banner I went awww and yeah. It's about Parvati and Dean which I never read about as a pairing. I also love the fact they are both of a different ethnicity. Which is a bonuspoint seeing there aren't to many stories about people of different backgrounds. Parvati and Dean look so cute together. The whole time I was reading this I thought aww I also want that kinda guy. Which is really weird I like bad boys. So another bonuspoint for you.
How you portrayed Dean and Parvati was perfect without being mary suesh ( is that even a word) at all. So please update soon! You got a new fan and I already favoured this story.
PS: 10/10 I would have gave you more if I couldAuthor's Response: yes, Dean & Parv are adorable together. (well MY D&P ;) and I have deeply developed Dean and Parvati's background. Such as the mysterious Mr.Thomas(his father) and Dean's mother, and I even have Parvati's family's background formed.
I spend a lot of time making sure that Dean has a hot personality but different from Ron and Harry and even Seamus. I'm glad you like him, I sure do ;)
thanks so much for favouriting (haha not a word, i know) my story! it means so much to me, I already have up to chapter five written, and ch. 3 is under validation.
I know now that I was just exhibiting early signs of accidental magic, but when I was younger, I thought that maybe I was defective
Aww I think most muggleborns and those who donít know they are magical would think that.
How did she actually realize she was an Avery I mean when she got first to Hogwarts she probably thought she was muggleborn and being a Slytherin mudblood isnít the best thing that could actually happen to you.
I found love in an unexpected person, who wanted me to turn my back on everything I had. Luckily, I realized that this first love was never meant to last and I was able to later find someone who loved me for me and not because of my family name.
Ow who is she going to fall in love with? If you donít want to tell that tell me is he an OC or a (minor) canon character?
Also your writing style so far is great however I would advise you to find a banner for your story ( maybe TDA) because most people donít read stories without a banner. I hope I will hear of you soon!
-xoxox- elladoraAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for your review! :) I'm really enjoying your challenge so far! I'm glad you enjoyed those lines, I had a fun time creating Adelaide and I look forward to writing her story.
She's going to find out she is an Avery within the next couple chapters; I won't give away the entire story, but being Sorted into Slytherin is going to be a big deal!
As for her future love interests, they are both going to be OCs...
Thanks for the advice about the banner; I have placed a request in the Up For Grabs forum and so I'm currently waiting for it to get ready.
Thank you again so much!!
~LJ Report Review
25 reviews and five times favored. Well done!
The look of the outside nature had always fascinated her. Well, not that much, but spying on her neighbours did. It gave her quite a calming feeling
This sentence really amused me when I read it. She then reminded me fainltly of Petunia Dursley. But seeing Petunia is her aunt it isnít really weird it all.
Her father named a rose after her mother and even created it. Awww, how sweet!
Sophie, her head all clear again, made a mental note to remember the key to send letters to the future.
I would have thought the same thing and would probably try to find a way to accomplish that. Also the way her brother reacted amused me a lot. Most of the time you would think girls would react more exaggerating but thatís not the case here.
Hahaha even his mother knows about this obsession with Lily Evans and when she said she wouldnít come with him willingly you really cracked me up. He has a piece of her hair. Thatís really stalkerish but still really James Potter if you get what I mean. Aww Poor Sophie she found out in the most terrible way she was adopted and the way Aidan comforted her was so sweet.
As you can guess I loved your sense of humour in this chapter. It was long but it didnít annoy me at all and I was enjoying reading each word. Also when does Sirius Black will come?Author's Response: hi
thank you to take the time to review!
I am also really glad that this story is liked so far. :)
I am also very happy to know that this chapter didn't annoy you. I was kind of unsure about this, actually.
As for Sirius Black, I intend to drag him in somewhere in the next chapter. How, I don't know yet, but I'll try my best :)
really thank you a lot for giving me the chance to write this fanfiction. I love the summary soo much xD
And yeah, I tried to make her Sophies 'brother' a dramatizer, as well as every other person in the family. Actually, this James Potter thing of having a strand of Lily's hair wasn't planned. The story just started to write itself if you get what I mean :p
Glad you like it!
X Report Review
Now, you must know that Professor Dumbledore was a great man and his mind never lied about it, but sometimes, his ideas got little aspects of those of a kid.
I thought this was a wonderfull sentence and it does actually describe Dumbledore perfectly.
She will be meeting her father when she goes to Hogwarts and who knows, she might fall in love with him!Ē
Whahaha this sentence made me really crack up. Imagine falling in love with your father. What that woman thinks of. Why are Harry and Sophie seperated and are they like twins? If they are not twins who is older?
What does Faire sa Sophie means? I take French at school but I never heard of it before. Is it a proverb or something like that. The only complain I actually had was that some of the paragraph were wicked long. Maybe you should breaking them in little pieces because otherwise it can distract the readers. Also I like the banner alot.
ps: 10/10 and I shall def add it to my favourite listAuthor's Response: hay!
I am glad that you liked some of my sentences.
I'll explain the situation: Harry and Sophie are brother and sister, but he is one year older. On the day that James and Lily were killed, Sophie miraculously was with them, seen as they are friends. And so, Dumbledore decided that the Lynch family could care for her until she got of age, because then, they had to tell her she is Harry's sister. I hope you can follow me :p
and Faire sa Sophie is indeed a proverb. It means to make a scene, scandalize; also: make the best of everything in the best way you can do it.
an other important note on why I chose this: Sophie is like the proverb. I mean that she makes a scene of everything. But you'll see that in the next chapter. It is already half written.
I will certainly be taking into account what you said about long paragraphs. When I write, I don't notice such things, but I am glad you tell me. It helps a lot :)
And thanks for adding it to the favourite list!
X Report Review
OMG I love this. It's so good to see a story where in a squib is the main character. There are hardly any of them.Author's Response: Thanks for your review! And I agree - no one seems to write much about Squibs, do they? Report Review
Well I don't have much time to leave review so it shall be short. Rabastan is a bit of a bastard towards Alanna. I hope Alanna shall leave himAuthor's Response: He IS, but she still loves him. As I've been saying for the past few chapters, haha. We'll see next chapter how much of the conversation between Malina and Rab she actually heard/understood. It won't be a lot.
Thank you for your review! I really appreciate it. =] Report Review
I love it. Please let her end with Regulus.Author's Response: At this point, I'm not sure who she'll end up with yet :) So we'll have to see. Haha. Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
Yay I actually love this beginning and I'm very curious what you are gonna to do with this. So please update soon. Also if I were you I would change your summary for something that really catches the eye so you will have more readers. Your writing style so far is fantastic! I also advise to let a banner be made for your story because a lot of readers don't read stories without a banner and they even don't look at a story without a banner. Report Review
I love what you did with this chapter. I always had the thought myself that each country or people has a own sort of magic. So which country is next? Also if you finished a chapter for this story could you PM me beause the challenge has stopped but I would love to know what else you are going to with this.
-XOXOX- elladoraAuthor's Response: Thanks for the review and the challenge!
The thought came to me when I was watching a dance by the Indigenous community that live on the land near my University, and suddenly I had this story in my head and your challenge was perfect for it.
I will definitly let you know when chapter two will be up, it'll be a while though on account of the queue closure, but I should get a lot done during the closure that I will be able to put up next year.
Thanks again for the challenge and for the review!
Burke Report Review
First thing first I really loved this chapter. I didnít understand the part where Alice was sexual assaulted. I thought she was raped till I saw your Authors note. I thought you portrayed Lily here perfectly and I thought it was very kind of here when she offered Alice to stay there for the night. I canít wait till Sirius shall show up again. The way you portrayed them so far is briliant and I think they would be a great couple. It makes me really sad that they canít be together at the end. By the way I love your banner.
-xoxoxo- elladoraAuthor's Response: Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed!
Gah, it's so difficult to get the fact that she was assaulted across without violating the ToS. I went back and put a bit of dialogue in when she was talking with Lily where Alice clarifies that she wasn't raped, but I don't really know if it's clear enough still =/ I'll have to see what I can do! Thanks for pointing that out!
Yay, I'm glad you thought Lily was portrayed well! I was nervous about the reception of all the Marauders, but I was especially nervous about Lily.
Sirius and Alice will finally get a WHOLE scene to themselves... in chapter 5 XD But no worries, from there it will only escalate! I'm just as excited as you for them to finally get together, but it will take time, as all relationships do! :)
Ooh, I know, isn't it gorgeous? .kapowi over at TDA made it!
Thanks so much for your continued reviews! Reviews make my day, they really do :) Report Review
I hate your cliffhanger but I also love your cliffhanger. If that makes any sense to you.
Bella cracked a devilish smile. ďYeah, yeah, youíre be ready to talk, you pansy,Ē she teased. ďWhat are you, a girl?Ē
Rodolphus grinned; the motion lit up his grey eyes and made Bellaís heart skip a few beats. ďSomeoneís got to be,Ē he smirked. Bella scowled but did not reply, and they sat a few minutes in companionable silence, just enjoying each otherís company.
This was my favourite moment and also that part about her felling inferior. Also I love your interactions between Bella and RodolphusAuthor's Response: It does make sense as I share your feelings! I really didn't want to have two cliffies in a row but I felt that I really had no other choice in terms of the other chapters - it would just work best if I ended it there. So I do apologize!
You quoted me!?!? -blushes- I love it when people do that! :) I liked that part as well (as arrogant as it sounds). To me, it really encapsulates their entire relationship!
Thanks so much for reading and reviewing. It brightened my day (L) Report Review
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