Reading Reviews From Member: TwilightPrincess
318 Reviews Found

Review #1, by TwilightPrincessSaving Severus Snape : v.

12th January 2015:
Hello! Here for the next chapter!

First of all, I think it is wonderful that you are not blowing over the actual nitty-gritty details of what it means to essentially transfer into a new school. So I like that you discuss her picking her classes, needing to make new friends in already established friend groups, and trying to find her way in the school. Those are details that really bring color to the story.

As I said, I'm new to time-travel fics, so the entire time Hermione is talking with Amelia and all her other new friends, I'm just thinking like... how much is this going to affect the future?! Haha! Didn't Dumbledore tell her to be essentially invisible and not to talk to anyone except for Snape? I'm nervous for her but the dynamics with her friends are so nice. It's actually nice to SEE Hermione interact with female friends, you know? So that's also an excellent addition.

When Snape said that he saw Hermione talking to Sirius and when he asked if Sirius had put her up to something, that broke my heart. It was just one line but it shed so much light on what Severus's experience is like at this point in his life. You are doing an excellent job of making Severus a sympathetic, yet still guarded character. He's got a lot of depth to him, and we don't even see him that often, which is really skillful writing.

I love the last part with Lily! It's got to be so weird for Hermione, knowing that the person she's talking to and meeting right now is going to meet such a terrible fate. Just by having her present in the story it brings out that bittersweet notion, so that is a really great writing choice.

Another great chapter! I like how you lead it into the next one so smoothly, too. Great job! Keep it up :)


Author's Response: Hey Ilia!! :)

I'm really, really happy to hear that you feel that way! I know that normally those types of things can be a bit daunting on a reader at times, so I'm glad that here they seem to be bringing a bit of color in the the story instead. It's honestly very refreshing to hear that, so thank you!

How much will it affect the future, indeed...? ;) Hermione is ok to speak to people, she just cannot deliberately tell anyone what the future holds for them. So she can have friends outside of Snape (if that ever happens) she just has to watch what she says. I know exactly what you mean! I'm really enjoying writing a Hermione who has a female friend. It's nice to see, I think. :)

Wow thank you so much! I'm thrilled that even in the little bit that we've seen of Snape so far that his character is coming through so strongly.

I think that Lily may have been the hardest person for her to be around so far. Because Lily was shown as such a self-sacrificing hero - the way she stood in Voldemort's way to protect her son - and to just see her as a typical teenager was beyond surreal for her. I adore Lily and absolutely could not picture this story without her in it. :)

Thank you so much for the beautiful reviews! They truly do mean a lot and I'm so sorry that I've taken for ever to respond to them!! Thank you for the kind words!! ♥

xoxo Meg

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Review #2, by TwilightPrincessThrough The Darkest: A Case Worth Waiting For

11th January 2015:
Hi! Ilia here for our swap! Thanks for swapping!

This is definitely an interesting start to what seems like an intricately planned story. Your summary drew me in immediately. Also the Harry/Ginny situation seems interesting.

I love that you are taking this Post-Hogwarts world to a dark place. I like that Ginny is missing or presumed dead (not in a morbid way... in a writing way, I promise! =P) because it shows me as the reader that you have thought deeply about where you want this story to go and what you want it to be about, and that you're not afraid to take risks. I appreciate that from a writer. When a writer is not afraid to take risks, it means they trust the reader, which is great.

I like the character of Cress right now and it will be interesting to see where she goes. The bit at the end where she is interacting with her mother and sister is quite telling of her feeling jaded and misunderstood. That was a great scene. Even though it was rather short, it showed a lot about her character.

I think you did an excellent job of setting up the story. Where you ended it was very smart too: you told us that she is currently on her way to go speak with Teddy Lupin about what happened to Ginny, which is a great cliffhanger.

That scene at the beginning has me baffled but intrigued. I am very curious to see who that woman was and what she was doing and why she was doing it. You made it clear that it was a peculiar request and perhaps a dangerous one, so I assume it has quite a bit to do with the plot.

This is a great chapter! Good luck continuing the story. Thank you for the swap!


Author's Response: Hello there! :)

This story does need to be planned very carefully! I always kind of have to make sure I'm not missing anything before I start writing a new chapter and I also need to write and rewrite again and again. But all these lovely reviews (just like yours!) are definitely worth doing it all. :)

Yeah, this is quite darker than the actual epilogue that we have at the end of the series. But the plot requires everything to be as dark as possible to make it all seem mysterious and intriguing I guess. It is indeed a risk, but I have received good feedback until now so I don't worry about this risk now. :)

You will be able to know more about Cress in the future I promise! I just didn't feel like revealing too much about her in the very first chapter that's all.

Thank you! As I said, I have spent quite a lot of time planning the plot and spreading the clues and cliffhangers throughout the chapters. So it makes me feel all happy to hear your compliments. That's just too sweet of you!

I'm so glad you liked the opening scene! I can't say much about it right now, but the request was indeed peculiar and is very important to the plot.

Thank you for the wonderful review! Hope you feel like coming back for more! We can even swap again. :)


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Review #3, by TwilightPrincessWhen It Matters: When It Matters

11th January 2015:
Hi Carla! Sorry I'm a bit late. But I'm here for our swap! Thanks for swappin'!

Carla. I am just. I just don't know how you do it. I mean this is perfect. This is the perfect story. Everything is great. Shall I create a point-by-point analysis of why it is great? Yes. Yes, I shall.

Description and Imagery:
Amazing. The way you wrote about the snowy Hogwarts grounds was beautifully poetic and clearly visceral. In particular I liked this part: "The snow, freshly fallen and a pristine white, covered everything. It made the castle grounds which were already vast, seem that much larger in its uniformity." You put into words the FEELING of looking outside when a lot of snow has fallen. It's a feeling of, as you perfectly put it, uniformity. Like there's something bigger than you standing there, and you're all experiencing it.

You mentioned that Rose liked the smell of fresh snow, and it was a perfect addition. I live in a place where we get a lot of snow (mostly horrifying, plan-cancelling amounts, but sometimes it's the nice stuff!) so I could really connect with that part. There is a certain smell to it, and it is magical, especially around Christmastime. I'm not sure if I'm the only one, but the time approaching Christmas has always felt very special to me, and I was happy to see Rose experiencing it here. Your writing evoked that feeling nicely.

I mean. Just. Adorby-cakes. Right away we know that Scorpius is on a mission, and it was exciting to find out what he was going to do. (I'll admit that for a little bit I thought it was going to be him professing his love to Albus, but I'll take ScoRose too! =P) Even once we know what he's going to do, you managed to keep the suspense built up.

Also can we talk about this line please: "Rose has always stood out in any crowd, but in the snow, she's the colour," It's so beautiful and striking. Your understanding of color and imagery and how to translate images into words is simply baffling. It's outstanding. This line in particular is so poetic. Not only does it convey in the perfect amount of affection Scorpius's feelings for Rose, it puts those feelings into a clear image. Truly remarkable.

I also really liked the way you worked kissing into this story. It wasn't just that there was enchanted mistletoe and it happened and yeah. You incorporated it into the plot and made it a key point, which I really appreciated. You clearly thought about this story in great detail, which also is great. I like Scorpius's philosophy of kissing only counts when it's someone who matters. That struck me. There's just so much awesome stuff in here.

Could you have hit everyone on the head any more? Answer: no. You did it amazingly. Everyone was so perfectly crafted. I liked how you used the other characters to characterize each other. For example, with this line: "Rosey likes things she can understand and analyze." By having Scorpius and Al talk ABOUT Rose, we as readers can sort of expect how Rose would react to Scorpius's proclamation of love. It's brilliant. Seriously.

The friendship between Scorpius and Al is also very touching. I like that Albus is characterized as a little bit Slytherin--I think that's an interesting take. I also appreciate that Scorpius isn't this cynical person, either. You opened his character up to be someone who conceivably COULD be with Rose, rather than just slapping them together.

Overall this piece is incredible, and once again I am in awe of your talent. Thank you so much for writing this and for sharing with me in the swap. :)


Author's Response: Hi, Ilia! :) So many apologies for taking so long to respond to this review! Anyway, I'm here now. First off, thank you thank you thank you because I really loved your review when I first read it. :)

Description and Imagery:
I am so glad you like the way I wrote this! To be honest, this is something that I am really very passionate about. I just LOVE writing about scenes and backdrops since I like being able to visualise where a character I am writing is. And I'm glad that as someone who has lived with lots of snow you approve because I've never really seen snow in person. Biggest compliment ever.

I love that word, adorby-cakes! That's EXACTLY how I see Scorose so I'm glad I managed to get that through. :) And awww.. Thank you! I really really like that line as well and I'm a person who has always been drawn to color... You know, the contrast and complements of them so I try as much as possible to use that in my writing. :)

Biggest compliment ever! Thank you, thank you! Characterization is something that I feel like I just get wrong on so many levels but that you think I've fared well in this regard and made me happy which leads me to say that you are a beautiful person.. :D
(BTW, ScorBus friendship is my favoritest thing ever. YES. I LOVE THEM. FOREVER and EVER.)

Thanks for the swap, darling!


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Review #4, by TwilightPrincessDull Ache: Oblivion

10th January 2015:
Wow. This was an incredible piece. I read it through to the end and saw your Author's Note, and I am so terribly sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine how hard it must have been for you, and you are so incredibly brave to write a piece so personal to your heart. Thank you for sharing it with us.

This is really an amazing story. I like that you chose to skip around in time. The happy scenes take on a dark tone when we know that there is something darker that is to come. It adds layers of depth to your story, making it that much more real.

I'm not sure if you would be up for it, and I can understand if you aren't, but I would encourage you to enter this story in the Non-Linear challenge. The way you jump around in time adds so much depth to the story and it adds so much color to the scenes. What you wrote is enhanced by how you wrote it, and I think the leaders of the Non-Linear Challenge would appreciate it. Of course it is up to you, but I am just telling you that that's how good this story is.

The content is of course heart-breaking. You wrote the situation incredibly well. It was easy for me to sympathize with Andromeda because the way you wrote her struggle is so clear. You definitely have an innate skill for writing. I was surprised when you said this is not a well written story--I disagree! It's amazingly written. It flowed very nicely, even though you skipped around in time, and it was a very good read.

This review is breaking my heart because I am wondering how many of the lines of dialogue were actually part of your real experience. I am so sorry for your loss. But I think you are incredibly brave to write about your experience and share it with us. I hope you experience healing, and I hope this piece helps you get there.

Thank you for writing this and sharing it with us.


Author's Response: Hi Ilia!

Thank you for such a kind review and words. :) I usually avoid raw feelings when I write but I think the feelings that come through in this made it worth the personal risk and vulnereability.

I'm glad that the timeline jumps work for the story. I thought of this before I lost my baby but felt all the more compelled to write it afterwards and it always felt like a non-linear story to me. I did submit this to the non-linear challenge - I'm honored you thought this worthy. I do have another story I'm writing for it though.

I wasn't sure if the content would be accessible to people who havent at least been pregnant. It's a relief that this was meaningful for people who haven't gone through this experience. as I said, I usually keep the emotions in my story a bit removed or diluted from what I have experienced and I thought that closeness diminished my ability to put together a decent narrative.

I guess the kicker is that I left out some of the worst parts. the process of giving birth was horrible. the layer that I just hinted at but left alone was the year and a half of fertility treatment we went through. I didn't know how to talk about the idea of losing a future. I didn't use a lof of direct things my hsuband and I said just feelings. Writing this did help with some of what I've been feeling so it was definitely worth it.

thank you so much for a lovely review!


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Review #5, by TwilightPrincessWhen in love: The beginning. Kind of.

9th January 2015:
Hi! Thanks for reading my story. I'm here to take a look at yours, as requested!

You have a lot of excellent ideas. This chapter was enjoyable. I'm going to give you a couple of bits of advice that might improve your writing a bit, okay? :)

Try to space out your paragraphs a bit more. It just makes it easier to read, and therefore more inviting for people to come and read!

I would recommend not using the tags like "Draco's POV" and instead just transition into those perspectives. Your readers are smart--they can figure it out! :)

Some people will say a banner doesn't matter, but I would recommend looking at getting a banner for your story. You can go the the-dark-arts[DOT]net and look for some in the up for grabs threads, or request one! (Just be sure to check out all the rules first!)

My last piece of advice is, if you aren't already, join the forums! There is an excellent community over there that loves to read and help you get better. There are a lot of opportunities on the forums to get your work out there and to be read. More space to advertise yourself, too.

You are a good writer. You have a lot of great ideas and a lot of potential. Keep practicing and do not stop writing. Write what you love. Write for yourself, and don't ever stop.


Author's Response: Thank you so much! That might offend some people, but it just makes me want to improve and keep going more than ever! Thanks for your honesty and encouragement! It's extremely appreciated! :)

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Review #6, by TwilightPrincessThe Night of His Life: The Yule Ball

9th January 2015:
! I love this! Lately I've been on a Harry/Hermione fic so when I saw this on the Dark Arts I definitely had to read it. For your first try at Harry/Hermione, you nailed it! I like that you kept true to the actual events of the book. It was very realistic that Harry would stumble upon Hermione in that state and things would just naturally escalate from there. I also like that you didn't take it too far. It's not like they went to snog in a broom closet after the Ball! So it's good that you kept it in check. I really like the way you explored Harry's character. He's a fourteen-year-old boy and he's just discovering that he's attracted to Hermione, and he's just figuring out what that means. You did a very good job of showing that he is confused by what is happening to him, and it's wonderful. Great story! Thanks for writing it :)


Author's Response: Hi! :) Thank you so much for the review! ♥

Whenever I'm writing something that isn't blatantly non-canon compliant (i.e. Dramione) I tend to go way away from canon just to differentiate that writing from things that are more canon-compliant. With this story, I was given a prompt, so that sort of helped me stick with canon, but I also didn't want to stray too far from canon in this scene so I reread the yule ball chapter in GoF to refresh my memory of how it went exactly. As far as Harry/Hermione, they are only fourteen and just beginning to attempt to figure out their feelings for each other, so it would be very unrealistic for them to go snog for hours in a broom closet, like you mentioned. Harry is actually a character I've sort of stayed away from (except for necessary reasons in my novel) because he's written so much and he is the main character of the series, so I just hope every time that I do him justice, and it means the world to me you think I did that! ♥ Thanks again for the wonderful review, Ilia! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

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Review #7, by TwilightPrincessTwo Words: Cold

6th January 2015:
Review swap!

This is incredible. THIS is writing. The entire time I was reading this, I felt like I was struggling behind someone's hand over my eyes who didn't want me to see what was going on--and that is an EXCELLENT thing. You made me physically feel like I wanted to see more of what you presented. You accomplished this with the five 100-word scenes. Because the scenes were so short, I got that feeling like I wanted to really make sure I saw it before it was gone--that's the hand over my eyes. (I really hope you can understand this weird metaphor I'm making because if not I just look like a crazy person =P)

Anyway, it was amazing. I actually had to read it many times to make sure I got everything. After I read it through the first time, I went back and read it backwards. I love that you were able to pack so much detail and so much devastating action in only 500 words, AND only 100 words at a time, backwards. I mean, it's just insane.

I love that you told the story backwards for dramatic effect, because it really did have a stronger effect backwards.

By the way, when I read, "Son?" I said, out loud, "NO!" My dog flinched.

This story is awesome. You are a very talented writer. I look forward to reading more of your work in the future. Thank you for gifting your skills to this site!


Author's Response: Hi i'm so sorry that i've taken so long i wish i had an excuse but i don't all i can say is that I'm trash and I have 48 unanswered and things got out of hand.

I totally get this metaphor tbh and I really appreciate it so much!! Also--saying 'THIS is writing' makes me feel really really good inside so thank you for that.

I'm so glad you read it in different directions and multiple times that's definitely what I intended people to do!

And I'm glad that you thought it worked better backwards because I'd hate to do something like that for no reason :P

Thanking you so much, wow I cannot believe you just said I 'gifted my skills to this site' thank you, thank you, thank you. That means so much and this review makes me smile every time I read it.

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Review #8, by TwilightPrincessThe Diagon Alley Gentlemen's Club: Greed and Luxury

5th January 2015:

It's got this old-timey feel to it, which is right up my alley. I love this whole underground, secret club with secrets and lies and cheats moving around. It's a lifestyle that is so exotic to me and it's intoxicating.

I love that you are highlighting a different character in each chapter. It's a great way to get all the information out to us without dumping. Also I think it is brilliant that your prologue was such a banger and since then the chapters are not as racy. The whole time my eyes are glued to the screen. I want to keep reading because I want to know what was in the vial, and I want to know what happened to Greengrass. So that is an excellent choice there.

I really like that you brought back a Greengrass into this chapter, because it's like a little teaser for the plot line that was introduced in the first chapter. Also you mentioned her brother and I was really intrigued by that. I was a little confused at the end. I understand that Greengrass's name is changed to Darren Welkley for security purposes. But was that the information in the manila folder? Or was Chris asking Darren to bring someone to her, whose information was inside the envelope?


This is such a great story. I'm so into it. Excellent job. Looking forward to the next chapter!


Author's Response: Hi Ilia!

Thank you for this absolutely wonderful review!

Lo ♥

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Review #9, by TwilightPrincessThe Diagon Alley Gentlemen's Club: Hell Hath No Fury

5th January 2015:
Wow, what a great chapter. I especially love the way you have highlighted the setting. The ambiance is almost visual through your writing. In a way you have made the setting into a character on its own, which is truly remarkable.

I like Auden already. The part where Williams mistakes her for a man based on her name really sunk into me. Your name is very personal and I really like that you showed us her reaction to being mistaken for a man based on her name. That's a great way to show us how she reacts to things that bother her, and it is clear. She stomps on them and gets what she wants. It's a great way to show us her character, rather than just tell us that she's a tough girl. I also like that you chose to have her at the Club for a drink after being turned down for a job.

I also really liked the background about the pressure from her mom. I think that's something that a lot of people can relate to, and it feels very real, so I like that you wrote about it.

Great chapter!


Author's Response: Hi Ilia!

Thank you for this absolutely wonderful review!

Lo ♥

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Review #10, by TwilightPrincessThe Diagon Alley Gentlemen's Club: Prologue

5th January 2015:
I saw this story on the recently added section of the archive, and I was so intrigued. Your summary pulled me right in.

ATTENTION ALL WRITERS FOREVER, THIS IS HOW YOU OPEN A STORY. This is the perfect prologue. I am not overstating that. You have everything: interesting characters, interesting situation. At the top of the chapter we have someone bursting through a door. Awesome. Then a mysterious proposition, made more interesting with more incentive. This drives the characters' wants, which drive the entire story. You have laid it all out PERFECTLY in this opening chapter. And then when the detective recognizes the vial and alludes to the fact that this has been a problem before--it's the perfect way to let us know this is a huge deal. Also he cancels all his appointments--that's such a great device!

I'm so impressed. I LOVE reading and watching plots that are this mysterious, big time drama, but I can never manage to write them well. This story is so interesting and I'm so glad I decided to read. On to the next chapter now!


Author's Response: Hi Ilia!

Thank you for this absolutely wonderful review!

Lo ♥

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Review #11, by TwilightPrincessa movement in charcoal.: a movement in charcoal

5th January 2015:
Hi! Ilia here from the forums! Thanks so much for taking my Closed Time, Closed Space Challenge :) This story was really wonderful.

First of all, the Alphabetized challenge! Oh my gosh. I looked at that thread and I was like WOW that's too hard, not doin' that, bye. But your writing here is so amazing. It seems effortless. It's like you write in alphabetical order all the time. It's amazing! I'm so impressed.

Also I just want to say that I really like that you chose to write about art and artists. Sometimes I feel like painters and musicians and other artists are not properly accounted for in writing, especially fanfiction. So I really like that you chose to have Lorcan be a charcoal artist.

Also can we talk about the sexual tension you've created by having him be drawing James? =P It's perfect. That's all there is to say, really. It's great. Very smart writing.

The closed time, closed space aspect of this challenge is also portrayed wonderfully! I like that you chose a very simple setting, and that the characters are interacting only minimally with the setting itself. That way, the story is really about the two characters and THEM interacting. Essentially this story could be happening anywhere, and I think that's why it's so easy to dive into. That's what makes it strong.

The writing itself is so incredibly captivating. I am not typically a slash reader and definitely not a slash writer, but I was so into this! The last paragraph especially was amazing--talking about Lorcan's intent and how it was different this time than all the other times, and how it always got James's heart racing but he could never do anything about it--UGH my heart. It's so great.

Thank you so much for writing this wonderful piece for my challenge. You did an excellent job executing it!


Author's Response: hiya!! thanks so much for running the challenge, this was so much fun to write, and thanks for such a lovely review!

honestly when i first saw the alphabetised challenge i NEVER though i'd be able to pull it off! but i was lacking muse for this challenge and thought i might as well give combining them a shot, as i tend to work better with weird restrictions (i have no idea why) and voila, i actually managed to write! haha, it was actually ridiculously fun trying to stay in alphabetical order the whole time, i may try it again some day.

originally i didn't even plan to have lorcan being an artist in this - it was going to be from the point of view of a portrait, but then i wrote a few lines about paint and it just kind of spiralled into lorcan drawing, and no portraits were involved at all, lol! my writing always tends to get away from me like that, oops, but i'm so glad you think that worked.

i have such an extreme tendency to write fics which are set over multiple scenes or are just entirely introspective, so containing this to one scene felt very bizarre. tbh I'M not even entirely sure about where they are - at first it was supposed to be a hogwarts classroom but then i decided it was post-hogwarts and i have no idea what it ended up as. the focus really was on their interaction rather than the place they were in, so i'm really glad you like that universal kind of aspect to it.

trust me, there's nothing different about writing queer pairings than there is straight ones :P i've been wanting to write a james/lorcan story for a long time, and this just seemed like the right moment somehow, so thanks so much for the opportunity from your challenge!

thanks for the awesome review, too -

~Maia xx

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Review #12, by TwilightPrincessSaving Severus Snape : iv.

3rd January 2015:
Hello! First I'd like to say how perfect your chapter summary is for this chapter! I was very intrigued right away. I mean aside from the fact that I already love this story, haha!

Oh, my gosh. You have NAILED Snape's personality perfectly. It is so difficult to write someone who has been bullied so much that they become very defensive and thus unlikable, and still like them. And I like your Snape a lot. I can totally understand why Snape would react to Hermione trying to help him the way he did. It makes total sense! I think that is a difficult thing to convey, yet you covered it perfectly. I am actually quite close to someone in real life who has had a similar past and personality, so I can very easily relate to Snape and Hermione here. I can understand Hermione being put-off initially by it, but I look forward to seeing her try to look beyond Snape's harsh facade and try to get to know the real him.

I also really like that you have Hermione commenting on her surprise with the way James and Sirius are acting, especially with Snape. I think it is fascinating to know someone as an adult and think they are wonderful, but to know them when they were teenagers is a totally different thing. I like that you are exploring Hermione's perception of Harry's dad through both these lenses. It adds a nice depth to the story.

I LOVE this aspect of time travel--Hermione knows things that happen in this story's future that the other characters don't know yet. The commentary about Amelia Bones when Hermione first meets her is heartbreaking. I am so glad that you are keeping Hermione in the present time as well while she is back in the past. It helps a lot. And it also adds ANOTHER layer of depth to the story, which is awesome.

I love the bit about meeting Rita Skeeter as a teenager, and the fact that she is dating Lockhart! Ha! What a match! Anyway, I thought it was great that Rita as a teenager has a reputation for spreading rumors. That's an excellent element to use in your story--I expect it will be used very well in future chapters!

I also really like that you are introducing this possible romance with Sirius. I like that Sirius is shown as his typical playboy self, but if Hermione is as kind hearted as she supposedly is, and if she is here to look into who Snape really is, maybe she will look into who Sirius really is too? I don't know, I'm just rambling here. But I really like it!

Excellent chapter! I look forward to reading more. I also promise that my reviews won't take too long this time around!


Author's Response: Hey Ilia!!

Once again, I must apologize for how long I've taken to respond to these!!

Oooh! I'm glad you liked the chapter summary! I was hoping that would definitely give a little bit of a "Oh! I wonder what's going to happen?!" vibe hahaha. ;)

Oh wow thank you so much!! Snape is another one of those kind of hard to get right characters, so I'm uber thrilled that you feel I did a good job with him! He is extremely complex, which is why I so appreciate that!!

James and Sirius were absolutely not perfect. Actually, I think they were kind of jerks when they were kids. They were cocky, arrogant bullies. Good-looking and popular, and they knew it. And now Hermione is getting to see that side of them first hand, and she isn't really going to like it. But then she does have the knowledge of what they'll become, so that will cause her to go a little easy on them.

Hahaha Rita and Lockhart! Or Rockhart, as I've been calling them! I don't know why I did it, but I just thought that pairing them together would be perfect and I'm so thrilled that others are feeling the same way! It almost makes me want to write a little one-shot about them, set in this universe. Oh yeah, Rita's tenaciousness - for lack of a better word - may come into play later on. ;)

Well I don't know if a romance will really develop between Sirius and Hermione. She actually might not really like him at all for a while. I mean, he *is* coming on rather strongly and does seem to think very highly of himself. I can't see Hermione falling for that nonsense. Especially after all that she has been through recently.

I'm so sorry again for how long I've taken! But thank you for the amazingly lovely reviews!! I'm really glad that you're enjoying this so far!! ♥

xoxo Meg

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Review #13, by TwilightPrincessA Time of Heartache and Healing: Failure

30th December 2014:
Hot seat!

Wow what an amazing idea! I'm so thrilled that you chose to write about Fred's death from Molly's perspective. I think her perspective as the mother has to be the deepest, and it's awesome that you chose to go there. You did an excellent job writing grief! I think the line where she says she hates seeing George sometimes is spot on. It hurts to read but it's so true to the reality of grief. I'm glad you went there.

I also like Arthur's role in this. From this story it seems like he is very in control of whatever he is feeling, for Molly's sake. It would be interesting to see what Arthur is really feeling!

Great story! :)


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Review #14, by TwilightPrincessSaving Severus Snape : iii.

24th December 2014:
Ahh! What a great chapter! You've got a lot going on in this chapter, but it all totally works!

I'm not sure if I mentioned this before, but let me just say that I adore the time-setting of this story. The fact that it's literally hours after the final battle and Hermione is now taking on this daunting task is quite remarkable. It's a good way to establish a complex story. I also appreciate that you continue to remind us that Hermione has just been fighting a war. The comments about the scars on Hermione's face and when bellatrix had carved mudblood into her arm--those are great devices for telling your story.

I liked the scene where Hermione runs into bellatrix and is forced to relive that horrible experience again. It's even Bette because she has to act like she has no rapport with bellatrix. So there's a lot going on in that little scene which was awesome.

What a cliffhanger! She finally sees Severus and he's being picked on by the marauders! I'm interested to see what Hermione thinks of Harry's legendary parents as teenagers, and especially what she thinks of young severus!

Great job! Merry Christmas!


Author's Response: Hey Ilia!

I have taken WAY too long to respond! I'm so sorry!!

Aww thank you! I really liked the idea of having this take place so soon after The Battle. That may end up being very important later on in the story. ;)

Even though it is technically 1976, she HAD just fought the greatest battle of her life, and I don't want the reader to really forget that. So I'm thrilled that you agree there! :D

I really loved writing that little exchange with Bella and Lucius. That might not be the last you see of them, either. (I'll just set that little tid-bit of information down and walk away slowly, whistling innocently) I felt it was a little reminder that all of those horrible people are very much alive in this time period and slowly rising to power.

I know, I'm absolutely horrible ending the chapter there, aren't I? ;)

Again, I'm so sorry for taking over 2 months to respond to this! I usually NEVER let my reviews sit this long. Even though it was forever ago at this point, I hope you had a good Christmas, New Year and Valentine's day! ♥

Thank you so much for the amazing review!!! ♥ ♥

xoxo Meg

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Review #15, by TwilightPrincessThe Art of Small Talk: Valentine's Day

21st December 2014:
Hi! I saw this story in your status update and decided to check it out!

I really enjoyed it! I like that Scorpius is shown as such a compassionate, loving character. Scorpius gets a bad reputation sometimes, so it is nice to see him in a different light here. I like that he and Lysander are so comfortable with each other.

Mostly what I want to talk about is how PERFECT you wrote this story. You expressed everything you wanted to say by NOT saying it. That is very good writing, and I am extremely impressed. This story reminds me of "Hills Like White Elephants" by Ernest Hemingway. The characters never mention what is really on their minds, but in doing so, you know exactly what is on their minds. That is a technique that is very advanced and difficult to write, and you did it amazingly. So wonderfully done!

Great story! :)


Author's Response: Hi! I am really glad that you stopped by!

Scorpius is my single favorite character to write and read in all sorts of contexts, so I try to give him some credit every now and then :) I wanted him to come off as someone who truly cares and I'm glad I was able to convey that.

Wow, perfect is a very good thing to read about your story. This is making me really happy, you comparing anything I've done to Ernest Hemingway! You really got what I was going for!

Thank you so much for this review!

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Review #16, by TwilightPrincessSaving Severus Snape : ii.

20th December 2014:
Okay, you have officially turned me on to time-travel fics. I take back my previous dislike for them! Your writing has convinced me, for sure.

What I love most about this chapters is that I can tell that you worked very hard before writing this to make sure that everything lined up perfectly for your readers to take in. Oftentimes writers (including myself) will tend to skip over the parts that are sort of mundane in order to get to the exciting stuff. I'm definitely guilty of that. But you took the time to write about the things that are not really mundane but NECESSARY parts of telling this story. The details like changing her name and changing her house--these are things that definitely WOULD need to happen in a situation like this, but it caught me off guard because as a writer reading this, I did not think of those. Seeing them here, though, makes perfect sense and they add such great substance and texture to the canvas of the story.

Also, and I apologize if this sounds dumb, but I was so caught up in your story that I didn't even think about the fact that she cannot change anyone else's life because it would affect the future of her and her friends. Like if she somehow messed up James and Lily, Harry might not even be born. And then what--she would return to a future where Harry doesn't even exist? What would that do to the WHOLE story? Would Voldemort reign supreme or would he even exist at all?? See, this is what I'm talking about. Brilliant writing. Just brilliant.

I also really appreciate your mention of Ron, because you stuck close with canon in that Hermione and Ron had just shared a kiss. I like that that kiss is still with her, and that it's still causing her to panic. Because even though she's on this super secret, important mission, she is still a teenage girl, and of course she would still be thinking about Ron and their kiss, and whether or not they were an item.

I really like this story! I'm very happy I saw your status update and decided to take a chance. Your writing is delightful and thoughtful. I very much enjoy this story. Don't be surprised if you see me review in the future!

Great story :)


Author's Response: Hiya!!

*Squee* Yay! I'm so, so happy to hear that! They really can be fun to read (and I'm finding out, even more fun to write).

I did and I'm thrilled that it shows! I pretty much planned out this whole story (with the help of my amazingly awesome beta-friend Em aka Pointless-Proclamations) for, probably a good week or so, before I even typed up an outline. The story will be paced somewhat slowly, so I hope it doesn't become boring. I just felt that with time-travel, it's necessary. Trust me haha, it's taking almost all of my self restraint to not just get to the juicy stuff! ;)

Oh my goodness, it doesn't sound dumb at all! You're totally right, there is so much that goes in to the whole time-travel thing. One wrong move, and she may not even exist. Her friends, and everything that she knows of, could end up being completely different.

I want to try to keep this story as true to canon as possible, so yes, she would have definitely still been thinking about the kiss, which to her, had *just* happened. Her thoughts will come around to Ron more often later on, too. She may be the most brilliant witch of her age, but she is still a young woman. I wanted to show that there.

Aww thank you so much! You're incredibly too kind! *blush* I'm super happy that you're enjoying it and I truly appreciate the amazingly kind reviews! ♥

xoxo Meg

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Review #17, by TwilightPrincessSaving Severus Snape : i.

20th December 2014:
Review swap!

I have been on the site for like a hundred years (since 2008 actually) but I have never read a time-travel story before. I think I have this horrible misconception that they are kitschy and not my taste. After reading just one chapter of your story, I am convinced that I was wrong. This is great!

First of all, the fact that Hermione is so compassionate and loving is very important here. She is the perfect choice to go back in time and try to talk to Severus. But even though she knows she has to do it, and even though she DOES want to, she is still scared and she wonders if she can do it. That's great writing that proves that she is human. A mary-sue Hermione would just not question her task at all. So I like that you had her pleading with Dumbledore to see what she had to do. Good job.

I really admire the attention to detail in your writing. You mentioned the other portraits leaving their frames to see what was happening in another part of the castle, and that's something that I as a writer would probably overlook. But your inclusion of it really set the scene and allowed me to stay inside the world you established. Also when she arrives in the past, you mention that she is covered with scrapes and bruises, which is also an important detail. As a writer, I personally have a hard time with details, so I admire when other writers do it well.

Also I like that you started the story right here in the moment where Hermione needs to decide this huge thing. And to end the chapter right when she arrives is perfect. I want to keep reading! On to chapter two!

Great job! I'm glad I saw your status update :)

Author's Response: Hey Ilia! I'm so sorry! It has taken me a shamefully long time to answer your reviews. I never take this long, but with the holidays, I fell a little bit behind with answering them.

Hahaha I am actually learning that not a lot of people (or at least people I've been doing swaps with, or have met through the forums) read time-travel fics. The first fic I ever read was a time-travel one, so I think that is why I'm quite partial to them. It was my "gateway" fic. ;) But I'm thrilled to hear that you've changed your mind about them after reading this chapter! That is such an enormous compliment! Thank you! :D

I know that in a normal circumstance, Hermione would have questioned it even more than she did, but I was really hoping to show that she was completely and utterly drained at this point. Mentally and physically. I'm really happy to hear that she did seem to come across as human and like herself.

I'm actually beyond ecstatic to hear that, because in the beginning of my writing, one of the main CC's I received was description. I didn't do to well with it, so for you to say that, it means that I've improved and that means so much to me. Thank you! :)

I really liked the idea of starting this story *right* after the war. I thought it would give a sense of urgency to it, so I'm very pleased that you liked that as well.

Thank you so, so much for the awesome review! I'm really happy that you're enjoying it, even though it isn't something that you normally would have read. I'm really glad that we did the swap, too!! ♥

xoxo Meg

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Review #18, by TwilightPrincessBound by Love: Things Least Expected

15th December 2014:
Hot seat!

Wow this is a great start to your story! You definitely have great talent in writing. Your writing is beautiful, descriptive, and poetic. I love that you chose to write about Neville beginning his post as Herbology Professor, and the plot device of something being left on his desk is brilliant. Right away I'm intrigued because I want to know what it is and who left it, so that was a really smart decision for your opening chapter.

The letters you wrote, both from Gran and from his parents were really touching. You do an excellent job of changing your writing voice when you shift perspectives, which is not something all writers can do, so good job on that.

Your story seems very interesting and already is very well written. :)


Author's Response: Hello Ilia! Thank you so much for stopping by! :-)

Wow--I'm not sure how to respond honestly *lol* Thank you so much! Voice has been something I've struggled with in the past but to know that it has improved a little is a huge step and I'm thankful you mentioned that.

I've always LOVED description (I had a writing lab teacher in high school tell me that I was describing things TOO much--overdoing it to where the reader wasn't able to imagine certain things on their own). A thing of beauty is a joy forever as they say. :-)

Thank you so very much again for the wonderful review and I'm very happy that you enjoyed it! :-)

Karen xoxo

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Review #19, by TwilightPrincessshe's thunderstorms: she's thunderstorms

14th December 2014:
Hi. I found this story randomly and thought the title was amazing so I read it. This story is also amazing. I feel like I want to just spin in circles and roll around because the writing is so incredible. It reads like a prose poem which always astounds me because I cannot write that beautifully. You can, and it's amazing.

I don't really know what to say but I wanted you to know that I read your story and i am glad I did because it is super great and so are you.


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Review #20, by TwilightPrincessLosing You: Losing You

14th December 2014:
Hi it's me again. I am entranced by your writing. I don't normally read slash, but this was really amazing. The way you touched on the relationship they had was really wonderful. You didn't dwell, which was perfect. I also appreciate that you didn't include a flashback, but rather stayed in the present and had Remus reminisce on what had happened. Oftentimes it is much more valuable to us as readers to see how a character reacts to a situation rather than showing the situation itself. This story definitely benefits from that.

Also I'm obsessed with this writing style! It's like a hybrid of first and second person so it reads kind of like an open letter from Remus to Sirius. It's brilliant! Because it reads like a letter, I feel like I am getting to see something that i wouldn't normally get to see. Even if this were written in regular first person, yes we would see inside Remus's mind, but it wouldn't have the intimacy that the second person writing brings. You knew that, and you took advantage of that, and it was amazing.

Also the actual moment of the books that you chose to write about was P E R F E C T. I will never forget that moment where Remus holds Harry back as he screams when Sirius dies. It was like an instinct, or so it seemed. But I like that you explored the anger that Remus must have felt in that moment. The part where he says that this is supposed to be Sirius's job, that was hurtful but it was amazing. And so true! Grief comes with a lot of feelings that we don't always want to talk about, and a lot of writers don't want to show because it might make them seem out of character. But that's the thing. Grief puts you out of yourself. So I love that you wrote about that because it is so real.

Excellent piece. I really like your writing :)


Author's Response: Hi Ilia!

Thanks so much for the review. I'm really glad you enjoyed it. I had a lot of fun writing this one-shot, and it's actually not supposed to be Slash. I know it comes across that way a little, but I really did write this as one very close friend to another. I know that I have close friends like this whom I love very dearly and I would be positively destroyed in the event of their death. I wanted to really capture that with Sirius and Remus. They had such a complicated friendship, what with the mistrust from the first war, and all the grief between them for James and Lily's deaths and so many other things, so I wanted to portray all the complicated emotions Remus would be feeling at losing his last real friend in the world.

James, Sirius and Peter were the first friends he'd ever had, the ones who saw past what he saw himself as - a monster - and instead befriended him and risked their lives to help him and make him happy. The loss of James and Lily would have been a devastating blow, and followed so closely by what he believed to be the loss of Peter and the betrayal of Sirius would've wrenched Remus's heart right out.

To learn so many years later that Peter was alive and the Betrayer, and that Sirius was innocent would've been confusing and a relief and yet another devastating blow, as it's said in the books that James and Sirius were the closest and that Remus and Peter were close too.

The final loss of Sirius after such a short time of having his oldest friend back would've been gut-wrenching and heartbreaking and devastating and I wanted to really capture that. For me this story was never about any kind of romantic love, but a love that runs much deeper in my opinion. The love for one's best friends is very powerful and oftentimes is much more enduring than any romantic love might be. For Remus especially, who lived so long isolated and friendless, I've always felt the love he bears for his friends is much more everlasting and enduring than any romantic interest he has.

I did mean it to come across as something of a personal dialogue between Remus and Sirius, as though Remus was sitting alone and intoxicated in the dark, muttering to Sirius as though he were still there. As you rightly stated, grief is a shocking and character-flawing emotion and so I didn't think it unreasonable to imagine the idea of Remus murmuring and shouting and muttering and cursing about the loss of his friends as though their ghosts were right there listening to him but unable to communicate back with him.

Thanks so much for reviewing. I'm actually really proud of this story, even if I was blubbering the whole time I was writing it, and so it's nice to know others are enjoying it too.


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Review #21, by TwilightPrincesslow tide: a meditation

13th December 2014:
Hi! I'm here from the Puff Review Hot Seat!

I love this story so much. As the starter of the Every Word Counts Challenge, I'm so happy to be reading and reviewing this. I love the emotion that you were able to pack into five hundred words. You did a really great job with establishing the deep feeling in the reader. I like the metaphor of the sand being washed away by the water. It's so beautiful and simple. I appreciate that you didn't overdo it.

I like that you chose to tackle the subject of George reflecting on the loss of his brother, alone. Too often, I see fics where writers explore George's feelings THROUGH his relationship with others, but I am really glad you chose to write him alone, reflecting by himself. It is very moving this way. And I say alone because even though Angelina is there, she is not talking him through his feelings or helping him figure anything out. That's what I mean. You did a great job.

Also, I really like the second person! I think it works really well. It can be tricky to make second person seem natural, but you did an excellent job. I've been on a second person kick lately so this was a thrill to read. You did an excellent job with this story and I really enjoyed it.

Author's Response: You started the Every Word Counts Challenge?! You're basically a HPFF legend. That was an awesome challenge! :D

I'm so glad you liked the metaphor of the sand and the water, and that you thought the story evoked deep feeling. Considering the nature of this story it was definitely intended to focus on emotion a lot, and I'm so glad that came through but not too heavily. :)

I think that there is an important part of the grieving process that is necessary to be done alone, which is the point George is at in the story - I'm so glad you appreciated that. And yes, the way I see it, Angelina and Lee are there for him if he needs to talk, but aren't pressuring him to - so he can still have the time he needs but isn't lonely. It is so wonderful to hear that this was moving, thank you!

This was my first try writing second person and I found that I love that POV! Wow thank you so much, this review is so kind and I'm so glad you liked the story! Thanks so much for your review!

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Review #22, by TwilightPrincessLying to You: Lying To You

13th December 2014:
Hi! I found this in SecretPassion's Euphoria and Heartbreak challenge. It's really an amazing read! I am obsessed with the style. It's amazing. It works so well in this piece, and it is such a great way for the reader to connect with what's inside Severus's mind.

Also your first few lines are incredible.

I don't know what else to say. I'm obsessed with this story. I can't get to the story recommendations thread fast enough.

Great job!


Author's Response: Hi Ilia,

Thanks so much for coming all the way over here to read and then for actually leaving a review. It's nice to know people are enjoying the story. I had a lot of fun tapping into Sev's psyche for this story.

Thanks for the recommendation!


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Review #23, by TwilightPrincessCowardice: Cowardice

13th December 2014:
Hi! Here for the Puff Review Hot Seat!

I love this. I love that you accepted the Microfiction challenge because I think what you have produced from it is incredible. It challenges writers to think about what you really NEED to say in order to tell the story you want to tell, and so here we have a great piece. This may sound strange, but I feel like this reads like a movie trailer or a short film, and I love that! Your writing was very poetic, which lent itself easily to being visual in my mind. So when you were explaining what happened between Salazar and Helga, it was like the meat of the trailer. And you bookended the story with what was happening presently, which I thought was an excellent way to frame the story. It felt very complete. Also, congratulations for writing a story about the Founders! I know that it's not an easy era to write about but you did a great job here.

Author's Response: Hi!

Thanks so much! Your comment about it seeming like a trailer doesn't sound strange at all :) This was my first Founders--you're right when you say it's not easy. Thanks so much for the wonderful comments :)


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Review #24, by TwilightPrincessFour: Four

13th December 2014:
Hi! I'm here for the Puff Review Hot Seat!

I love this story. It reads like a prose poem, actually, which I think works really well for what you're trying to accomplish here. I like that you showed us little snippets of their pasts, because it allows us as readers to do a little of the work and put the pieces together. You let us extrapolate on what you wrote and let us fill in the gaps of what you're trying to say. I also love the bit about the piano--as a musician myself, I love when music is a big part of characters' lives, and when writers choose to incorporate it. I also thought it was beautiful what you said about Hogwarts being a home and why.

Great story!

Author's Response: Hi!

I tried to add in snippets of their pasts in order to wrap the reader's head around exactly what Blaise is going through. I'm glad it worked! I'm not really a musician, but I think that music is a huge part of everyone's life, which is why I incorporated it into Blaise's. I love listening to music when I do pretty much everything :)

Thanks so much!


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Review #25, by TwilightPrincessNine and a Half: Nine and a Half

13th December 2014:
Puff Review Hot Seat!

This story is incredible. So cute. I like how you managed to span so much time in a one-shot, yet it didn't feel awkward, jumpy, or too long. I also really like the specific moments you chose to show us--you showed us a lot of different emotions that James and Teddy would go through together as they are raising kids. I LOVE how you brought back the 'four and a half' thing from the previous story! So cute and perfect.

I really like this story and I'm glad I finally got around to reading it! You're a very talented writer. I also don't often read fluff, but this was very easy to read and very enjoyable.

Author's Response: Ah, thank you so much! And, I'm glad to hear it. I came up with the idea for this about a month after the 'microficiton' challenge on the forums was /over/, so that was where I pulled the inspiration from. Hehe, and I couldn't resist bringing that back!

Thank you so much for the review! I do love my fluff.. heh.


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