Reading Reviews From Member: Indigo Seas
316 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Indigo SeasAcanthus: A Kaleidoscope

1st October 2013:
Sorry this is so late! I'm makin' my way through this slowly, but I promise I'll finish! It's a lovely story to look forward to, so I'll definitely be back for the remaining chapter, have no fear.

I'm just going to comment on your word choice again (again!) because it's really, really great. There are sentences here that just sing. Like this, for example: "Her copper reduced to coal." You've already given the reader a clear image of her red hair being singed, but this added bonus of a sentence really brings the whole image alive. I LOVE it.

Also I really adore Charlotte's dialogue. She's very giddy and full of life and even though I don't know everything about her, her speech is really illuminating in terms of her character.

And where's Scorpius?! All of this is really great and the pacing (again again again with the pacing...) is fantastic, and everything is developing really well. I can't wait to figure out what's up with him, and where he ended up after all of this.

On to the next! Great chapter.

xx Rin

Author's Response: Hey Rin! Don't worry about it at all, it was surprising that I managed to get through yours so quickly so don't worry about it, as I fully understand!

I'm so glad that you liked it! I seem to have a theme of relating her theme to fire now that you keep on pointing those lines out :P Oh well, I'll keep up with it.

I really love Charlotte too! I don't know why, but I guess she's just the sort of person most people want to be.

With Scorpius, you'll find out more in the next chapter! Thank you so much for these wonderful compliments, they really have made my day! ♡


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Review #2, by Indigo SeasAcanthus: Before the Storm

23rd September 2013:
Gah, what a cliffhanger! I love it. And for some reason I really like that Scorpius was the one who is left with this mysterious stranger - I just feel like he's going to handle whatever is ahead of him better than Lorcan or Rose. :P

Anyway, great chapter! Again, your description is just fabulous. I've never been in a sandstorm and I've certainly never been to the deserts of Egypt, but your writing brings the scenery to life. For whatever reason, I really liked your use of the camels, too. Your description of them - especially while they stand in the sandstorm - just made the whole chapter and setting seem very real. So kudos!

Your characters are developing so well. I don't feel like it's rushed but the progression isn't too slow, either. We're learning the characters bit by bit as the story moves on, and I think the pacing you've got here is just great.

I'm really excited to read on! Especially when you leave it like that. I love a good cliffhanger - especially when future chapters have been posted!

xx Rin

Author's Response: I thought so too, because the others would probably run around panicking whereas he manages to remain somewhat level-headed :P

I haven't been in either too, but I'm so glad that you enjoyed it. Watching National Geographic does pay off :P Camels are one of my favourite animal, so I just couldn't resist adding them in!

I'm so glad that you glad the characters as they are dear to me. Haha, that is a bonus of having posted chapters so I hope you like the continuation.

Thanks for another amazing review!


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Review #3, by Indigo SeasAcanthus: The Tale of Acanthus

20th September 2013:
Gah, you're story is developing brilliantly! I really love where you took the reader in this chapter, and you're unraveling it all at a really great pace.

I also feel like your Scorpius has a really deep character history, and I've only just met him, really. He's a different Scorpius than a lot of people write: he's quieter, more reserved, and, actually, smarter. I LOVE that his curse-breaking job isn't as crazy awesome as everybody seems to write it. I mean, yes, he's in Egypt, but it seems like it's more intellectual-filled than just simply action. That's a super unique take on things, and I love it.

And your descriptions! I'll just say it again even though I know I mentioned it before. I don't know if you've ever been to Egypt, but you describe it in such a relate-able and believable way. It's great that I can picture everything so clearly, especially because you're writing about such an exotic climate.


xx Rin

Author's Response: Aw, thank you again for such an amazing review!

I'm so glad that you loved Scorpius because I think he's my favourite character to write in this so it means a lot to me! I'm glad that you found that this Scorpius was different to others because I thought it would be fun to put a spin on things! I sort of based the intellectualness on me because I would prefer that to action :P

I haven't been to Egypt, but I've been to Morocco which is a north African country to, so hopefully it's close enough! I'm glad that you're enjoying them, as it means a lot as I always struggle with it!

Thanks for a fabulous review, Rin!


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Review #4, by Indigo SeasAcanthus: Souks and Surprises

17th September 2013:
Gah your reviews are too lovely (and I will respond, I promise!!), I just had to come back. Plus the story is great, obviously, so that's spectacular, too.

AGAIN you just have such an interesting way of putting things. I think that's part of your style as a writer, coming up with different and unique ways to describe varying instances. For example, you say that Rose has "a Weasley complexion" instead of just pointing out that she's pale. I love that. It just makes the sentences fresher and more fun to read.

Your descriptions are great, too. The heat was palpable, and I could visualize her location very clearly. I think my favorite, though, was your detailing of the perfume shop. It's only a small paragraph, but I could really picture it.

You've also got some really great body language thrown in here and there. I don't like a HUGE amount of it - you know, detailing every tiny thing characters are doing - but I think your details are perfect. For instance, the note about "Rose rubbed her thumb while thanking her" really adds a great... I dunno, visualizer? I'm not being really articulate, sorry!

I will definitely be back for more! I love where the story is going, and your pace is fantastic.

xx Rin

Author's Response: Don't worry about how long it takes, I'm just glad you liked it and glad I made you come back here :P

I'm so glad that you like that as I didn't even realise I was doing it until you pointed out. I guess it's because I like observing things and looking at them in different way it helps a lot too.

I'm so glad that you liked the heat and the perfume shop part as they were my favourite ones in the chapter!

I know what you mean about the huge amount, so toeing the line between it is very hard! Don't worry about not being articulate I understood exactly what you were saying, and I'm just so glad you liked it!

Thanks for this fabulous review, Rin!


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Review #5, by Indigo SeasAcanthus: Spectrum

16th September 2013:
Here for the exchange!

Gah, I love NextGen to pieces. There's just so much freedom involved in writing and reading it, and because of it, I have no idea where this story is going. It's great.

You've set your characters up very strongly, and I feel like I have a good idea of who they are even though I've only finished the first chapter. Though Rose didn't have a lot of dialogue, you still allow the reader to see her inner mindset, which is great. I'm looking forward to the subsequent chapters, so I'll get even more of an idea of what makes Rose tick!

And you use such interesting verbs! That's sort of an odd compliment, but what I mean is that your word choice makes the writing shine that much more. For example, saying that Rose's copper hair "burnt" is just such an original way of putting her hair color. You've got a whole bunch of these interesting words scattered through the entire chapter, and I loved it.

Your pacing is great, too. I love how this chapter moved pretty fluidly, and you managed to pack a lot of information into it without it seeming forced. You've got a really great start to a story, and you've just told the reader enough to peak their interest without going overboard in exposition. Really, really nice job.

I'm looking forward to the next chapters! I'll do more reviews as the week goes on, and hopefully I'll be able to read all of it sometime soon.

xx Rin

Author's Response: Hi Rin!

I know that's why I love them too because they're just so great for suspense.

I'm glad that you found that I set up the characters well, I think that's the thing which makes me most paranoid about first chapters. I enjoyed delving into Rose's mind as it was a lot of fun so yay for you liking it too.

I've never had that said to me before but it means a lot. I hadn't actually realised my obscure word and verb choice until just now when I went to read it back over to see. I'll try and keep it up as it's nice to play around.

I'm glad that you found that the pacing was ok too, as I worked hard at it in this chapter due to me used to dumping information onto readers and over-estimating their absorption capacity.

Thanks for such an awesome review, and I hope to get to more chapters of Magnolia Street too!


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Review #6, by Indigo SeasYou Can Write The Book: it's all in the details

11th September 2013:
I just decided to flit by because I saw your post in the Squee Topic and was like, "I should read more of teh's stuff!" And I am SO GLAD I DID. Really, this is just a useless review because I'm just sort of scampering around, making grabby hands at various sentences. But really, your writing is fabulous. Your flow is amazing; I got half way through this before I even realized I had read that far. The characters are believable, the narrative is superb. Anyway, really, really strong stuff.

"And there’s half our Dad over there – the margin of the print slices clean through his face and so he’s one-eyed, quarter-nosed, with an unfinished smile." - THIS sentences is just... lovely. It was the first one that stopped me and made me really happy, for some reason.

I loved reading through the photographs, too, because I could feel everything you were describing. I guess that was the point, but it was done really well, and I didn't even notice that I was so immersed in the story until my iTunes stopped working and I was jarred out of that rapture that you get when you're reading really good stuff. Do you know what I mean?

"Snap. Me arriving at Hogwarts for the first time, with its turrets cutting upward into the sky in a crooked sequence of steps, the yellow windows burning in the stone." This just paints such a beautiful picture; it's perfect.

It feels like such a personal narrative, and you've constructed it just right. It's intimate but I don't feel uncomfortable reading it.

GAH. I could go on but I feel like I'm just rambling so I'll stop before I get totally nonsensical. Lovely, marvelous, wonderful, etc.

xx Rin

Author's Response: RIN!! ♥

Waahh, this is such a lovely and totes unexpected review! Thank you so much; I am not worthy!!! And it's NOT a useless review at all.

I'm so glad you picked this story to read; it's a story that I have a special fondness for, because I really enjoyed writing it, and showing things through Dennis' perspective. The Creeveys are such underwritten characters! And in the books, Colin was more of a ridiculous figure than anything, and we hardly hear anything about Dennis.

I'm glad you like some of the sentences! I enjoyed trying this structure out; it's clearly not an original idea - as mentioned in the disclaimer, I was influenced by a real life short story, and I was excited to try things out and consequently, this story was born. And I'm SO SO GLAd that you thought it flowed well! The snapshot structure could have been a bit jarring for some, especially since I jump around a lot, but I'm glad you found it easy to read!

FD;AKSDJASJ 'personal narrative' is pretty much an accurate description of this story. I wanted to avoid all that big, public "heroism" of the postwar situation - Colin would have been lauded a hero, definitely, but I don't know how many would have actually realised or been interested in what a simple, completely ordinary life he once led. Dennis, of course, knows all this, and I chose to show things in a different way (without all the big hero stuff) through his POV.


And my goodness, i think it's definitely high time that I read more of your stuff! You yourself are such a brilliant, talented writer! *hugs*

teh ♥

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Review #7, by Indigo SeasGrowth: dull as dirt

20th June 2013:
Here for the review exchange! :) Firstly, I was so, so excited when I was paired with you because I've heard so many lovely things about your writing and I've only ever had a few opportunities to read it and (I know I'm rambling, but-) it's really, really gorgeous. My vocabulary is not quite what I want it to be right now, but really - it's beautiful.

I could definitely go out and pick various sentences that I particularly liked, but these stand out to me:

"Inside Merope, there is a comma of a child, picking up shape, unfurling its fuzzy outlines."


"Merope’s spine curves over the hummingbird centre of her body."

I mean, the way you describe things is really beautiful. You're taking very natural elements like rock and dirt (or the hummingbird that I just mentioned) and you craft these descriptions in such ways that your sentences just sing. Really, be super proud of this; it's so, so pretty.

And your sentences are just the right lengths, too. Sometimes you'll have really long sentences (a personal favorite of mine) and then you'll have tiny ones in there too to mix things up. Your use of fragments is masterful: they're not all over the place so they don't slow the story down, but they put pauses right where the reader wants them. It's excellent.

I could really go on and on but now I feel like I'm embarrassing myself, so I'll just tell you that it was really, really gorgeous (I keep saying that!) and the story was lovely in a twisted, heartbreaking way. I'm so glad I got to review it!

xx Rin

Author's Response: Rin! ♥

Gaah, thank you so much for this absolutely wonderful review :D Your compliments were just a;skjd;asah I'm so flattered to hear that you've heard so many things about my writing. It's such a great feeling when other writers know of you (uh, also puffs up the ego a little bit ahaha...).

I'm so happy to see you commenting on things like diction and sentence structures and sentence lengths and descriptive technique! Because that's what I really focused on in this story. My other stories are less attentive to detail and style and diction; they're more about characterisation and plot (sort of). But in this story, I really went through each sentence, trying to put things together, see which words and images worked and which didn't. This fic really gave me a lot of grief to write, but it's definitely worth all that. I'm honestly so happy when reviewers pick up on the details, and I noticed in your own writing the amount of care that goes into constructing your sentences, and how organic and fluid they are, so it really means a lot to receive this compliment from you.

Thanks again for this amazing review, Rin! I'm so glad we were paired up for this month's exchange ♥


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Review #8, by Indigo SeasAd Venenum: To Poison

25th February 2013:
Just wanted to pop by and say that a) this was really lovely (the writing, anyway - not the premise! I'm not overjoyed about killing Ron, or anything :P) and b) you are such, such a talented writer!

Bah. Description. So much envy. SO much envy.

xx Rin

Author's Response: OMG RIN. ♥ Of all the stories on all the archives, and you happened to walk into mine... Seriously, though, this made me so happy! I'm having a rough start to my week and coming online and seeing this gave me so many warm, fuzzy feelings.

Please look at your own writing and know I am jealous in return. Thank you please. :3 I'm so glad that you liked it! Thank you for reviewing!!

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Review #9, by Indigo SeasDulcet Dalliance : 1

1st November 2012:
How does this have NO reviews? It's a travesty.

OK, well, first off, I don't know how coherent the following is going to be. As a writer (and a reader, I guess), I get extraordinarily excited when there's good writing and good craft, and this was just absolutely gorgeous. So.

I think you're the master of interrupter sentences. I'm sure there's an actual word for them, but I don't know what it is. They're the little phrases, single phrases, between paragraphs that sort of break up the flow. Yours are marvelous. Sometimes they annoy me in other works because they're jolting, but I love the way you've executed them here. They leave the perfect, single pause between long paragraphs.

And your word choice! I could go on for a long time about your word choice. All your verbs are fresh and unique, and I just love the way you craft your sentences. This line, for whatever reason, was one of my favorites: "... yet she can feel the ghost of her playing in the corners." It would have been so easy for you to say, "the ghost hung around" or any variation of that, and yet here you've said something unique and original, and I love it. It's like a breath of fresh air.

The premise is great, and you haven't approached grief like this melodramatic thing, which I also love. Nobody is collapsed on the floor and sobbing, or anything, which is fantastic. I think too often authors talk about grief like it's this huge... I dunno. It's just not always believable. Yours is very believable, so kudos.

xx Rin

Author's Response: Hello dear! :) I love your reviews; they always make me smile. I am so, so pleased that you liked this. It kind of just hit me during a storm and I basically finished it in one go. And yeah, reviews have been sparse and far in between lately... Slightly sad, but I suppose 9 favourites is as good a sign as any. I love my one-liners. I've attended no writing-classes or anything, so I don't have any idea of what I'm doing - I basically just write what I feel like. Thank you so much for reviewing, this really means a lot. I get so insecure with my writing (as all writers do) and I've just had a month of absence from writing, just trying to figure it all out, but I thinkkk I'm on track again. Thank you so much for your wonderful, wonderful review, dear.


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Review #10, by Indigo SeasWith Time: Hermione's Holiday

2nd October 2012:
Augh, I feel terrible about not reviewing this before, because I'm about a month late! No matter, though: here with your promised review because you've entered (and completed) my silly challenge!

The description you have throughout here is just lovely. I can really picture Salem, even though I've, admittedly, never been there. My favorite line, for whatever reason, is this: "Violet mussels and chalky white clamshells crumbled to pieces beneath her feet." I think it brings up a wildly vivid picture, and that's marvelous!

Your writing, as always, is superb. I love the transitions and smoothness of it all, and your flow is just fantastic.


xx Rin

Author's Response: And I must apologize for waiting a year plus to respond to your review, Rin! I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter, I am hoping to get started again with this fic, if not right away then when I finish my other major WIP. I have what I hope is a twisty, turny, fun plot for Hermione and Snape. Thanks again!

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Review #11, by Indigo SeasBreak Out: VIII.

26th September 2012:
Oh goodness you, look at what you've done. Everything so bleak and black and terrible. Tsk, tsk. Obviously it's just a COMPLETELY EPIC way to continue your story. I'll change my "tsk tsk" to a resounding "bravo." Or brava, I guess. Whatever.

I kept highlighting little lines and phrases that I wanted to point out and awe over here, but then I would copy other lines over the lines I wanted to remember, and now nothing comes up when I paste (because obviously I just broke my computer). ANYWAY, my point is that there are so many little gems in here, and they're just absolutely brilliant! Gah. Love. Talent. So much talent.

I've now managed to get nutella on my keyboard because I was in such a hurry to review I didn't realize I still had some on my fingers (never mind why I had nutella on my fingers, you). Because THIS IS AMAZING. And a little bleak. Tad. Maybe more than a tad.

Love love love


Author's Response: I know! This is one of the darkest chapters in this story, coupled with chapters two and four -- I think it surprised a few people, to be terribly honest. I did warn you! But I am so happy you found it to be epic. ♥

Ahaha, I am flattered that you found enough to copy and paste that you broke your computer in the process! :3 It's so awesome for me to hear that, too, because for some reasons chapters of this story are slow in the writing of them. I can churn out 3,500-word chapters for my Snape/OC trilogy in two days, but these chapters take a week at the minimum. So reactions like yours -- indubitably lovely, I might add -- really boost my confidence.

Nutella! Were you scooping some out of the jar with your fingers? ;) I bet you were! Ahh, you are much too kind, Rin. I appreciate your reviews so, so much. ♥ Thank you!!

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Review #12, by Indigo SeasOn the Edge of an Ocean: Two Days

26th September 2012:
I actually read this chapter directly after the first, but I've been so preoccupied that I've yet to leave a review for it! No matter - I'm here now, completing the Review Exchange.

Again, I am absolutely, 100% thrilled that you're not melodramatic. It would be so, so easy to take a curve into the "WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME, I HATE EVERYONE, LEAVE ME ALONE FOREVER" kind of thing (sorry for the caps), and you haven't. I think that's a sign that you're very in control of your writing, whether purposefully or just sort of subconsciously. Either way, you've written enough to know what you're doing, and it's marvelous.

And there are little snippets of questions that you've sprinkled around. They're mostly your main character asking them of herself, but I like that they a) sort of break up the flow in a nice, short way and b) make the reader stop very briefly and consider them. It's a great way to get people involved in the writing, and I think you've done a fantastic job of it here.

And I think I mentioned this in the first review, but if I did, it bears repeating: your character has a marvelously strong voice. (Stephen King says never to use adverbs, but I'm going to ignore him here and use "marvelously" anyway because it is marvelously appropriate to use the word "marvelously." Anyway.) I don't know if you've really made an effort to plan her out and flesh out her character on paper or not, and I don't really care either way, because whatever you've done, it is working really, really well for me/you/everybody involved. Her thoughts, her actions, her inner motivators... they make her extremely likable and create this vulnerable atmosphere that's just... gah. Blissful to read. Blissful in the sense that it flows really nicely and the writing is good, not blissful as in, "oh yay! Grief!"

Your second chapter is marvelously (take that, Stephen King) marvelous and I am completely (sorry, Stephen King), irrevocably (this is ridiculous, Stephen King) in love with it. You've done a fantastic job of setting up your characters and their inner mindsets, and I cannot praise it enough.



Author's Response: I again have no idea how to respond to this absolutely stunning review. You've left me speechless by all your marvelous adverbs ;). I will try to sound coherent but i've never really been great with such praise as you've given here. I'm actually a little scared to complete the next chapter as i'm not sure it can live up to such high standards!

I'm thrilled that you still think it's still not overly dramatic! This wasn't something i did intentionally I think, but i think it happened because i'm not naturally a big fan of the overdramatic stories here and there is more to this story than just her grief.

I have not planned her out that much so it thrills me to hear that you feel she's so fleshy. :D I have this floaty idea of her in my head and have general things written about her like her hair or eye colour but i don't really like those big character sketches people do. I like seeing the character take shape as i write the actual story and let her breath and move in it.

bah thank you so much for this squee worthy review! I'm completely blown away by your praises and insight! thank you very much and if you do continue reading this, i'd be very much interested in how you think it turns out. :D

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Review #13, by Indigo SeasOn the Edge of an Ocean: Don't be Sad

15th September 2012:
Here for the review exchange!

To be honest, I was almost a little afraid to begin this chapter, because funeral scenes are usually really melodramatic and people are sobbing and throwing themselves on the floor and whatnot. But this, THIS. This was really, really beautiful. I was very pleasantly surprised, though I suppose I should have expected nothing less from an author such as yourself.

I thought the lines about the past/present tense were so powerful. This in particular: "...but she always seemed – no, not past tense – she always seems to be taking a stand against something." And then you did it again at the end there, and tied it all together. It really brought the chapter full circle, which I loved.

I also really appreciated the fact that when you started, I wasn't sure what was going on. Your first sentence completely drew me in and then the scene slowly, slowly unfolded. It was all very dramatic without being melodramatic, and I didn't get the sense that you were trying too hard or were writing with a specific "LOOK AT THIS" in mind. That is really, really lovely. I cannot even express how happy that makes me, because like I said before, so many funeral scenes are SO overwritten and the people in them are so unbelievable.

Speaking of your characters, I thought that your Molly had an extraordinarily strong narrative. As a reader, I could completely see what she was seeing and feel what she was feeling, and that was marvelous.

And your description! It wasn't purple or really heavy, which is great, but it was still amazingly beautiful without being too weighty. Your attention to detail is marvelous, and I loved the way you included bits about sound (either magnified or far away) and how Molly is hearing things.

Overall, I think this is a really well-constructed first chapter, and I'm excited to read on!

xx Rin

Author's Response: Hey Rin!

I don't even know how to respond to this review. I'm just so pleased and happy that you enjoyed the chapter.

I completely agree with you, it was a bit daunting to write because i didn't want a scene were there was wailing and an outpouring of raw grief. That never seemed particularly real to me either and i wanted to just be able to explore the grief of one person as they mourn the death of a loved one. I'm really pleased that it came off realistically and not overblown. I'm just pleased that it came of naturally.

I'm extremely pleased (how many more times can i say this in this review response!!?) that you didn't feel this was purple-y! Ahh! I've never wanted my writing to turn out that way as the story is more important than the prose. I have a weird tendency though to write a bit floaty descriptions that i fear people will see as being a 'look at me and what i can do' thing. Which is definitely not the goal at all!!

Anyway, thank you so much for your lovely review! I appreciate your kind words so much!! :D

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Review #14, by Indigo SeasBreak Out: VII.

11th September 2012:
Oh, YOU. Bah, I don't even know what to say. I think I'll just start by rambling and over-using commas (which is what I'm good at, obviously).

I love, love, LOVE your Draco. And Ron, actually: both are characterized so perfectly, and I'm terribly (there I go with the adverbs again) picky about my canon characters, so that's a compliment I rarely give.

And your body language! Well, not -your- body language; -their- body language was spectacular. I think a lot of authors leave that out, and yet it was something I consistently picked up on throughout the chapter.

Ramble, ramble, ramble. Love, love, love.

xx Rin

Author's Response: Rin! ♥ First and foremost -- best of luck in moving, dear. You'll be fabulous! And now I'll come around to thanking you for such a lovely review, which I do not deserve and which you have seen fit to bestow upon me anyway.

I really wanted to concentrate on making Draco canon in this story, as there are rather a lot of instances of non-canon Draco floating around the archives. And I think sometimes people lose sight of his true character, or what I see as his true character. I even have little asterisks in my notes telling myself to MAKE HIM CANON. And so I'm so, so, so glad that you see him that way!!

I actually didn't consciously put a lot of body language into this chapter, so I had a peek after reading your comment. :3 Thank you! I love it when readers point out something in a chapter I might not have necessarily seen myself.

You are the bee's knees. ♥ I'm still kind of in awe that you KEEP coming back here, update after update, just to tell me what you thought of the chapters. And all starting from a review exchange, no less! :3 Thank you!!

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Review #15, by Indigo SeasKingdom Come: Kingdom Come

6th September 2012:
Marina, you're brilliant.

The end.

Author's Response: No Rin, you are! ♥

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Review #16, by Indigo SeasBreak Out: VI.

28th August 2012:

In my opinion, people are often one of two things: a vivid writer, with deep prose and oodles of imagery, OR an action writer, who writes scenes that get a reader's adrenaline pulsing and make you sit on the edge of your seat. There are varying shades of gray between the two, I think, but I find myself to be more on the prose side (action not being my strong suite). That is why, my dear, I admire you so, so much for being able to write really fantastic action laced with gorgeous writing.

I absolutely love that you chose Dean to be in the cell alongside Hermione. I don't even particularly love Dean (I don't dislike him, though), and for some reason I was oddly pleased that he was there in that same situation with her. Either way, it's really cute that he's putting so much faith in Hermione.

THIS LINE: "... its beams cutting thick, gossamer strips through the patches of stone and snow, visible even from this distance." Um. So remember what I said about marvelous action with lovely description? This would be some of the lovely description I was talking about.

I don't have anything more productive to say, other than this is unraveling just amazingly and that I am still 100% in love with it.

xx Rin

Author's Response: YOU ARE MUCH TOO KIND. ♥ Lulz, how am I even supposed to respond to such kind words from you? (Ineffectively, let me tell you...)

I absolutely love that you seem to find both vivid imagery and action in this story, because that is EXACTLY what I was going for in setting out to write it, and hearing it is... I cannot even tell you how gratifying. I consciously am experimenting with style in this, while at the same time wanting to keep the tone of just telling a story, and sometimes it's a tricky balance. Just... gahh. Thank you so, so much.

I love that Dean's in there, too! :3 I think he's very unappreciated, especially in stories of this sort of nature. Hermione's always pictured as the tragic heroine with the bad bloodlines, but Dean's really in the same boat, isn't he?

Legitimately cannot even form sentences now. You are so fab. Honestly, Rin, just thank you so much for this review; your opinion is so valued and cherished on this. I can't wait for you to read the next chapter!!

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Review #17, by Indigo SeasTask One Challenge: The Runaway: I

28th August 2012:
I figured that if your writing was good in your fantastic short story, it would probably be as good in other things, and I couldn't resist clicking on this one-shot.

Your narrative here is so, so strong. I don't think there's any dialogue in here (well, besides the spell she hisses), and yet I completely know what is going on inside her head. It's very sincere; I think that's what I liked the most.

I'm actually very impressed you managed to use all of those prompts! And they work really flawlessly, too. It's not something I read and said, "Oh, she was just adding all these prompts in to make a story." It's all incorporated very well, so kudos!

Have a lovely day,

Author's Response: asdfghjkl you have no idea how much I'm blushing at that first line. Thank you!

I adore writing dialogue (as you probably know from reading TTONF) so yeah, it never actually occured to me now that the only dialogue was Cho's spell :p It was a little tough - ergh, description! - but I'm honestly pleased you thought it was okay.

I did read some of the other stories, and thought the same thing about the prompts fitting in naturally, and ohmygosh, really? I'm honestly blushing, I probably look like a strawberry right now, that is seriously so sweet! Kudos to you, too - you are absolutely excellent at reviews, did you know that?

See you around!

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Review #18, by Indigo SeasThe Tale of Natasha Fielding: III. Of Pretty Girls and So-Called Research

28th August 2012:
And here for 3/3 (finally)!

First of all, I don't think I mentioned this before, but I am absolutely 100% in love with your chapter titles. Not only are they clever, but I also think the bits in parenthesis are marvelous. It's a unique way of doing it, and they really entice the reader.

THIS LINE: "There weren’t any fireworks, no explosions, none of those clichés Natasha was so used to hearing about. Instead there was a warm, tingly feeling starting in her stomach and spreading down until it reached the tips of her toes, and she felt like she was completely free." I love that. It's so understated and subtle, and so many people create kisses where everything is magical and suddenly the whole world stops turning, and I think it's marvelous that you've simply described it as "warmth." Because, you know, that's exactly how it is. In reality.

You've paced this so perfectly! Nothing was rushed and yet nothing was dull, either, and I was caught up in every moment of it. Really, I think it's difficult to plan something so short, because little odds and ends end up sticking out and sometimes it's all rushed and awful and GAH. This just... wasn't. It was absolutely perfect.

I'm going to stop gushing now, really. I thought it was a really lovely little short story, and I'm thrilled that I got to read it for the review exchange!

xx Rin

Author's Response: The chapter titles for this are so fun to make up, especially the ones in parenthesis :p I think this is the only story I ever had that I already knew the title of the chapter before I ever started it, along with the secondary one I used for fun since it related to the how-to article. I even loved it so much I gave the actual /story/ one! :D

I always cringe at seeing the whole fireworks thing, because kisses don't work like that, and since I'm pretty sure TTONF is the only story of mine with a kiss (well, so far, anyway) I wanted to make myself proud, so I'm glad you liked that!

I always think everything is so slow with my stories, but TTONF has truly been my absolutely favourite and easiest to write, so I'm honesly really pleased you liked this! Short stories are hard for some people, but TTONF... it was only my second short story, but it was far, far better than my first :p

Your gushing is freaking amazing and I hope you never stop because I looked forward to all three reviews on this :) I'm so glad I got /you/ as a partner, because you've been so kind and nice and helpful and seriously sweet, and smoothed over any worries I might have had for this, so /thank you/.

xx Linn

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Review #19, by Indigo SeasThe Satellite Heart: 7.

23rd August 2012:
I cannot even begin to tell you how beautiful that was. I was sort of left at the end, looking down at my sheets and willing myself to say something clever and witty and maybe something that you'd remember for a little while, but I can't. Because I am struck with the utter gorgeousness of what you have succeeded in writing.

I hardly ever go through stories like I just did this one. I'll read a chapter or two, then come back. But this was so interesting, so deep, so sincere. I just... I'm kind of a mumbling idiot over here because I have no idea what to say to you that could possibly convey how much I absolutely adored this story.

It's brilliant. And so are you.

xx Rin

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Review #20, by Indigo SeasBreak Out: V.

20th August 2012:
I have absolutely no idea where to begin but this was just amazing and you are amazing and this review will be less amazing because I cannot get over the amazingness. /flails

OK, firstly, your characters are just marvelous. Really, I have a hard time reading canon characters because people always manage to somehow screw them up, which then makes me angry and irritable, which then prompts sadness. Woe is I. But you, dear, write them fabulously. Draco is exactly, -exactly- as he should be, and I am absolutely in love with him (in the "oh you're just so evil and I want to sit in a corner and watch you talk" kind of way, because, let's face it, he's kind of a jerk).

And Ginny! Honestly, I have a passionate dislike for Ginny, and it's not often that I actually enjoy reading whatever she has to say (something to do with her whiny-ness. Or maybe I just hate her because she's the one that got to marry Harry Potter. I guess we'll never know). That being said, I loved her here. I could feel her grief, so bitter and heartbroken and sad, and that was lovely, as a reader, for me to experience.

SO MUCH ANGSTY TALK. I love angsty talk. All serious and "this is what we're going to do and it will be awful and we're going to be better people after it" and such. Grim, is a good word for it. Very grim. Grimly determined. Grimly angsty. Angsty grim. Grim angst.

Bah. So much love. So much rambly, rambly love.

xx Rin

Author's Response: Ahh, I'm so happy that you liked this chapter! You are much too kind -- I'm floored you're dropping by to read and review the updates on this at all, really. :3

I'm excited to hear that you think I've got the canon characters accurately! I love writing them, and for some reason it's really easy for me to slip into the voices of each -- I think I've read/listened to the books too many times for my own health. I really made it a point to especially concentrate on making Draco more canon than he's normally seen in fan fiction (Dramione, anyone?), so that comment is super appreciated. Thank you!!

I had no idea that so many other people hated Ginny like I did! :D Is that a bad thing to say? I mean, I suppose I don't /hate/ her... but I definitely think Harry deserved better. And she's kind of a Mary Sue. But I liked writing her here a lot more than I normally would, simply because -- well, she seems a lot more human here, and loads more relatable. And I like being able to relate to characters, which I think was lacking in Ginny's case as far as the books go.

So much angst in this story. ♥ Dark as it is, I'm having lots of fun writing it! Honestly, though, thank you so much for such an incredible review. And I can't wait to see you back for the next chapter, too!! :3

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Review #21, by Indigo SeasThe Tale of Natasha Fielding: II. Of Allergies and Arguments

20th August 2012:
And here for 2/3!

Again, your dialogue is just amazing. And it better be, really, because dialogue is such an integral part of the chapter. I love the way that it sounds completely natural, and the characters don't sound stilted at all. Bravo.

I don't know why, but this little line was one of my favorites: ..."third-horror, third-fury and third-scorn." I think it brings up such a good mental image, and the way you've said it just makes it seem natural and easy. And that's another thing, too: there aren't many paragraphs of huge description throughout here (which is perfectly fine), so it's great that you can add little one-liners so that I can still picture the scene in my head.

B'aww, Louis gave her his scarf. Super cute. /flail

And the length here is just perfect. I really struggle with length, honestly. I can never make something over 3,000 words (usually), so it ends up being a little on the short side. I love the pacing and the flow throughout here too, so none of it seems "rushed" (as you said) or even stretched out to make for a higher word count.

I'm really impressed with how this is evolving! Especially with short stories, it's sometimes hard to figure out which events happen when, and you've done a marvelous job with it.

xx Rin

Author's Response: Aww, thank you! :) I try my best to make sure they don't sound unnatural or anything, because you're right - for this story, dialogue means everything.

Is it? Description is one of my weaknesses, so I often insert in little one-liners like those to make up for the lack of it, so I'm glad you liked it! I see a lot of my favourites in this chapter, too, so I always enjoy re-reading this story :p

All too bad she was allergic :p /laugh

I was so worried about this chapter - I was much more confident with the first and thoroughly planned out the third, so this was a little bit harder to write, but honestly, I'm always worried about how long or short my chapters are, so I'm glad you thought this was okay :D

I haven't read many short stories, so I'm seriously pleased you liked this and wow, thank you for all of the lovely compliments! I'm looking forward to seeing you around for the next chapter, Rin!

xx Linn

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Review #22, by Indigo SeasThe Tale of Natasha Fielding: I. Of Being Late and Understatements

18th August 2012:
Here for the review exchange! Hopefully my reviews will be as lovely as yours.

Gah, the first thing that struck me here was your dialogue. I think it's the one thing that most authors get entirely mixed up, and not a lot of people can actually succeed in writing dialogue well. But yours was really, really fluid, and I absolutely loved it. You can switch to banter to conversations to easy narratives, and it all works really well with everything else. It all seems like something a real person would say, which is brilliant.

I also got a huge sense of who your character was. You've provided a lot of little quirks and idiosyncrasies that fill her out, and I loved all the body language you included. That's not usually something that some authors provide, and it's nice to see it!

I love (I seem to be saying that word a lot...), love, love short stories! I'm really excited to read on because I don't get to gobble up short stories very often.


Author's Response: Hi, Rin! :D

You must be kidding or I'm just dreaming (pinching myself as I type this) but thank you! To be honest, I think dialogue is the easiest thing for me - I have some trouble with characters, descriptions, begininning and endings but I do love dialogue so I'm glad you liked mine!

Body language always adds to a character, and I suppose since I do so much myself (mine and Natasha's are vastly different, but the sentiment remains) it slips itself into my stories but rather a few of them more often than not so I'm pretty pleased you actually noticed that! :)

I don't always get to see brilliant short stories either, so I'm glad you liked this! I also kind of hold your opinion in pretty high regard, so thanks for the lovely review!


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Review #23, by Indigo SeasHow to Draw Almost Anything: How to Find Employment

31st July 2012:
I absolutely love the story you've set up here - it's so original! I absolutely can't wait to read more, because your writing is simply captivating and your characters are just... bah. I want to hug all of them.

xx Rin

Author's Response: eee, thank you! I've been wanting to write this for years, so hopefully once RL gets a bit less manic the chapters will flow pretty easily. baww ♥ I do love my downtrodden characters; considering how much I abuse them hugging would be quite a wise move. thanks for reviewing & I'm glad you liked it! :D

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Review #24, by Indigo SeasMagic: it certainly does love you

28th July 2012:
Gah, I wish I could write like you. This whole thing was just planned out really well and your style is to die for and I just love it.

The end.
xx Rin

Author's Response: Rin!! Hey... ohmygosh. Shush, you. You're fabulous and I'm blushing and thank you so, so much!

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Review #25, by Indigo SeasBreak Out: IV.

28th July 2012:
That was the fastest I've probably metaphorically sprinted from the Chapter Updates thread to a story. And honestly, I have things to do and I kept telling myself, "well, in a few more minutes" and then you PUBLISHED this and I just cannot begin to be productive when I know there's a chapter out there that's looming around, unread. AND my name is at the bottom of the chapter, and that just makes my day.

Anyway, enough of my rambling (though the rest of this is going to be rambling too; fair warning). I enjoyed this immensely (obviously), and I cannot possibly begin to fathom how you are able to write action scenes to beautifully. Honestly, it takes me ages to write anything action-y, and then (because it takes me so long) it's not action-y at all. /problems

Your paragraphs were both emotionally-charged and very fast paced, which I loved. And right in the middle of it, my phantom alarm clock that goes off whenever it pleases scared the bajeezus out of me, because I was so high-strung and caught up in your chapter. Bah. That's how good this writing is.

I wish Hermione would kick some butt, though. The whole time I was chanting, "punch him in the face! Punch him in the face!" But that would be hard because a) he's got her by her hair and b) she's got a broken wrist, so that's not really plausible. :P

I loved your characters (again). For one thing, I could feel Hermione's attachment to Ron, which was lovely, and I could completely visualize her pain (which was... not so lovely). And your Snatcher! Bah. I would say his name but I can't spell it, so I'll just stick with him as the "Snatcher." I absolutely adored how you said his voice was oily. I dunno why that struck me how it did, but I thought it was really great.

OK, before I continue making a mess out of this review, I'll point out this line: "But she watched, with a dull, numbing sort of horror [...] and he screamed mutely (was it her name on his lips, or was it only the distance between them that made her see it?), and then he was gone."

They're both little sentences in the same paragraph, and I LOVED her "dull horror" and the way she's considering her name on his lips.

Genius. I will definitely stop rambling now because I went a little overboard. So sue me.

xx Rin

Author's Response: Your reviews are so hard to respond to! But I am going to try my very hardest, because your lovely words deserve it. I can't even believe how fast you jumped on this update. ♥ Bear with me, yeah?

I know we've talked a bit about action scenes, but honestly, every time you compliment one of mine my heart just lightens with glee! Action scenes are one of the things I personally think I struggle with most, so you are giving me a massive, massive boost of encouragement there. :) I do agree with you, too -- punching someone in the face in Hermione's position would be quite challenging. I did try and make her as strong as possible, since she is anything but weak, so I do hope that came across, too!

SO relieved you could feel Hermione's attachment to Ron, too; that is one of the things I am most worried about where this story's concerned. Gahh, it's like you take all my worries and just make them vanish! ♥ I cannot thank you enough for that.

You are fab. Just... fab. I honestly cannot tell you what it means to me to have such lovely reviews from someone who is a great write in her own right! Thank you so much, Rin!!

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