This chapter has a particularly awesome song choice. Hee! Security question goodness. I don't know why it automatically becomes a form of flirting. I guess it lets one demonstrate their inner stalker. Hmm, if her parents died seven years ago then that's BEFORE she'd have been of age. So SOMEONE had to take care of her, and take care of her education. I'm going to assume someone suspicious and probably evil unless demonstrated otherwise. From an innocent perspective, it's kinda cool having Hogsmeade and Hogwarts and all that being glanced at by someone magical who's still not familiar with them.
Somehow I suspect Gideon's glee about the boats is not entirely innocent. Though I LOVE the Seventh Year tradition. I would have totally shamelessly stolen that.
This whole scene at the station is just outstanding. Great, great dialogue, great chemistry between the two - now they've shaken off the sniping stage it's just rolling along delightfully. Good addressing of war-time issues, the Thestrals, the kids, the whole shebang - AWW SHE'S FEEDING THE THESTRAL. Ahem. AWW jealous Araminta. Arieda seems cool, I look forward to seeing more of her. There are nice, easy friendships in this story, which is always a pleasure to see and makes a nice diversion from the angst.
It's also... nice? To see the conflict with Sirius. In general there's not enough "on the same side but don't massively like one another" conflict in stories, it's usually bosom buddies or SEARING HATRED, but two people who want the same thing having a personality clash (and clearly historical issues) is often overlooked. Which is sad, because it's engaging. But happy, because it's in this story! And yes, that Sirius can shake off his family hatreds but not suddenly be Perfect and Unprejudiced is ENTIRELY realistic. Good to see Araminta having proper interaction with other characters. It'll do her some good, too, since conversation with Gideon is so easily fraught. Marlene, I think, would be good for her; she does need some taking care of. So clearly Marlene is not long for this world.
Either these chapters were written more recently (you mentioned some early ones were written a year or so ago?) or you're just generally finding your stride with the story, because the last couple have had extra oomph. It does feel like the pace is being found and the story's really coming into its own, so great, I'm really enjoying it!Author's Response: McCartney for the win! See? Totally James Bond, this fic.
Interesting Araminta musings. My lips are sealed
The Seventh Year tradition thing, I would LOVE to say was mine, but I can't remember now if it was or not. It may well have been my idea, but I can't be totally sure. Oops my bad. And feel free to steal if ever you have the desire, I'm nice like that. :)
A twelve year old feeding a Thestral SHOULD NOT BE AN AWW MOMENT. It means she's seen death, come on! (Though I DID find it a sweet moment when I wrote it, I will admit...)
Lots lots more of Arieda, yay times! She has a much more central role than I'd initially planned for her, but I like her so it's fine. And to some extent she's someone who Gideon can talk to without getting all mopey about not having anyone - but then, he knows her for a reason, and it's due to that reason that she's not a TOTAL escape for him.
Yeah, the Gideon/Sirius issues are sad, especially because they've been entirely brought about by the war, which will be explained sooner or later. But none of them are perfect by any stretch of the imagination, and these two are possibly two of the more flawed characters. Marlene would be VERY good for Araminta, yes, but that would indeed require me being NICE to Araminta. Which is an unrealistic expectation indeed.
I love British terminology.
It's funny you should say that, because this chapter is still one of the earlier ones! I wrote the first five chapters very early on, two summers ago actually. Then this one and the next one were written around March time last year, when I started posting this fic. Then I began to struggle with chapter 8, and at the same time the idea for Rails came about and I got a bit preoccupied with that, and so 8 was only finished and posted last October. Then I neglected it AGAIN until a month or so ago, and the last few have been written in that time. My main criticism of this story is that I feel like it takes a while to properly get going; there's perhaps nothing much going on until round about now, which is maybe why it begins to pick up. This is why part of me thinks I should rewrite the early chapters, to make them stronger, but I think that would be a fair bit of effort, and I'd rather spend my time writing the chapters to come instead, because I'm excited by what is to come.
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Time for a cheeky fanfic break at work! (my job tends to either be crazy busy or, once I'm done being crazy busy, crazy empty, with nothing in between. 'Crazy empty' is, indeed, known as 'fanfic time', just usually WRITING!) Forgot to say I love the music introductions. More fanfic needs more music. Though with the opening line maybe this one should have had some Boomtown Rats...!
Yeah, Araminta might be cranky, but I think I'd be cranky at anyone who called me 'Minty'. But ha! She's already getting instinctively possessive! Yes, yes, feed the oh-so-healthy reactions. If there weren't such an undercurrent of angst, the "trying to find out of he's single without giving anything away" dance would have been more adorable. It's more sort of GrimDark Adorable instead.
Their rapport is proving lovely, though - because this is two people who are clicking right away and it's not being love at first sight, it's being downright caustic. They GET (to a certain extent) each other right away, which in practice means they're able to cut right to the heart of things with an essential stranger, which is obviously going to be off-putting and upsetting for a private person! And though they can figure each other out well enough to poke each other in the right way, they don't know each other well enough to handle the emotional delicacies properly. And that's even setting aside all the HORRIBLE ANGST (tasty, tasty angst).
Poor Gid. It's nice to see him with friendships like Marlene, but even aside from the war-torn strife, that's got to be difficult, being the only single man when everyone from his life is settled or settling down. Even if he's a much beloved friend it DOES make it difficult to continue to relate and be relevant to the people in your life. I think that's something I'm particularly starting to enjoy - not just how War makes life hard, but how war makes tough things tougher - the everyday little issues don't go away, and often people try to ignore them because they're not Life or Death, but they're still there, and, yes. Like it.
Yaaay Sirius. And boy, does Araminta have some anger issues. This is why I do basically suspect she is NOT Ominous Present Tense Girl - lashing out at people is not the best tactic in the world if you want to fly under the radar, so if it IS her, then there's more going on than can immediately be guessed at. Even if it's that she's just being blackmailed and is too HORRIBLY DAMAGED to be James Bond - but that's a near-suicidal kind of mentality, and... well, I look forward to that being unravelled if that's the case! Yes, chewy, chewy mystery. Why do I find myself comparing fic to food?Author's Response: I like the sound of 'crazy empty' time, long may it continue. :) Well now I feel stupid. I totally missed a trick there, didn't I? The PERFECT song choice! Yeah, this fic was inspired by several songs. And when I say 'inspired', I mean the entire thing was born thanks to inspiration that the songs gave me. And so there are a lot of songs which relate to it, and I decided to do the intro and chapter title thing. And some songs fit so well it's as though they were written for this story, which is pretty neat.
To be fair, there aren't many ways to shorten "Araminta", which is a mouthful of a name, so you can't blame Gideon for trying - except it's partly just another way to annoy her, which is naughty of him. And, yeah, you've pretty much just described Gideon and Araminta's 'relationship', for want of a better word, better than I could have done, and I'm the author. Which is scary. But it gives me a lot of satisfaction at the same time, naturally. Gideon has it seriously tough, because he doesn't feel like he has anyone to turn to, because everyone else is loved up, and so he's struggling with war anyway, but has these added feelings of loneliness because he feels like he has no one. Which is part of why he riles up Araminta so much - he craves the attention, and because she's not interested in friendship, the only way he can get the attention is by annoying her. THEY'RE BOTH SO HOPELESS.
The trouble with Araminta is she's not used to human interaction. She was home-schooled and most, if not all, of her peers were at Hogwarts, so she's not had masses of exposure to people, and so when it comes to simple friendly chat at work, she hasn't got a clue. Bless her. But yes, anger issues galore, and issues of other types galore too...
Maybe you're hungry?
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And we start with every stalker's favourite song! Excellent. I am curious as to why Gideon is so curious about Araminta. Is he specifically asking or is he trying to wind her up? Is he trying to irritate her into revealing things? Does he just like puzzles? Does he want to unlock the enigma of hotness? At least he does seem to be legitimately trying to be friendly, even if attempting such by prodding a private person is liable to backfire! I like the contrast of Gideon's between Auror work and Order work; it makes sense that not even Aurors could be out there, constantly 100% effective against the Death Eaters, both from a procedural perspective and from a setting perspective - if the Ministry was all that and a bag of chips, why would the Order exist, after all (especially as there's less of Evil/Apathetic Ministry in the First War by all accounts)?
Ahh, poor Gideon. Upstart newbies cutting straight to the heart of things. That's got to be tough, being such a young Auror and having to train somebody; that kind of mentoring can really hone in on insecurity complexes, let alone just the simple worry about being able to mentor someone not that much less experienced than one's self. He's riding rather obliviously roughshod over Araminta's clear desire to just stick to work, but I can only feel sorry for him. And then his guy talk with James is deliciously reassuring. "But she's still good-looking, right?" MEN. Their priorities are always so correct. But hey! She's turning up a lead for the Order, so, competent!
Oooh. OMINOUS PRONOUN ONLY PRESENT TENSE TIME. Nah, I'm joshing with you, it works for the Mysterious Immediacy of it all, that 'shaky camera over the shoulder in the shadows' kind of feeling. Hmm! The obvious 'she' would be Araminta, of course, and that's not so unlikely considering Gideon is domed (yaay tragic dooming betraying romance), but I'm not going to assume as much. I'm ready for a fast one. Ohhh yes.
Boo, I'll have to review more later/tomorrow. Rollicking start!Author's Response: Yes, stalkers FTW (I JEST OBVIOUSLY). Gideon IS partly trying to wind Araminta up, but it's also partly because she's the first 'new' person that he's had so much to do with in a long time, and so he knows naff all about her and wants to know more. Also he has to work with her in an environment that, frankly, requires a lot of trust, and you can't even begin to build up that trust without any idea of what your partner's like. That and the more she refuses to tell him things, the more of an enigma she becomes and the more curious he gets. And, yes, his priorities are clearly in order here; who cares about her personality, she's a bit of hot totty and that's all that matters!
Hey, every fic should have Ominous Pronoun Only Present Tense Time, right? Haha. It's a nightmare to write, I'll tell you that. And Araminta is the obvious candidate at this point ... but there are several female characters in this fic, remember. I will say no more on the matter. :) Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
I was holding off on reading this before I could Sit Down and Properly Read It. Then it's, like, a week or more later and I STILL haven't had time to do a Proper Sitting, so buggerit, I'll read it when I have time to read and review A Chapter and do it bit by bit if I must!
Yay! First War goodness. Yay! Auror-y goodness (ha, we've made roughly similar departures from canon in terms of 'apprenticeship' schemes for training up Aurors more quickly than the three-year period in times of war). I get the feeling Gideon is going to be a handful. Off-beat sense of humour to keep all of those pesky emotional issues at bay? I may be an instant fan. And I'm a sucker for UST, so it looks like we're off to a good start with throwing him in with Araminta. Wow, she's pretty hostile, isn't she? Then again, bad nicknames and being called 'feisty' would be guaranteed to get my goat. It's easy to see her as being more unpleasant here just because we're in Gideon's head; it's quite fun to read it while thoroughly thinking about how HE must appear to HER and suddenly everything (except for him) becomes more reasonable! I look forward to going through how things develop between these two, there's an engaging dynamic already emerging.
Hmm, familiar faces. Now I'm trying to remember how many of these guys are confirmed to DIE HORRIBLY during the war. Our illustrious Prewetts are doomed, as are the McKinnons, I recall. For some reason there's something satisfying about reading a story like this KNOWING it's going to end in tears. There's something wrong with me. It's nice to see the First War generation on a social basis; everything usually focuses on the Marauders, but I think what pleases me most is seeing Lily having genuine friendships with people who aren't Marauders/Snape/don't know her predominantly through James. I have a real soft spot for Lily and even if she's a side character here I like seeing her as a character in her own right (who isn't just there for SnapeAngst).
All that, this has been a strong introduction chapter. We get a good view of Gideon from several angles, professional and personal, and then we get smacked right at the end with his Inner Angst. After him being chirpy and friendly, or at least jocular, for the chapter, it makes a nice demonstration of the masks he's putting on for the sake of the public eye. And now I must know what is the source of his Manly Torment! Oh well, maybe I can get another chapter in before the end of work...Author's Response: Whoa more reviews! Excitement! Haha :)
Yup, there is some IMMENSE tension between Gideon and Araminta right from the start. Which is probably all Gideon's fault because he doesn't leave Araminta alone when she wants to be, but then she's quite rude to him as well so IT'S ALL FUN. Some chapters come from Araminta's perspective so you'll get a nice mix of points of view there :) But Gideon is a fairly easy-going, means-no-harm-to-anyone kind of character generally, it's just that the war's affected him quite a bit and Araminta does his nut in right from the start. He doesn't have it easy. Because I'm downright cruel like that. He indeed has lots of angsty feelings going on, which is why he's the way he is, bless him.
Heh, yeah, basically EVERYONE DIES. Which makes it easy in a way for me because I don't have to work out who I'm killing off and why. But no, things will not end well on the whole.
I'm glad you think the chapter's good. I wrote the first seven or so over a year ago, and reading them back now I worry that they may be a bit weak, but I'm loath to rewrite them... But yeah, in terms of how Gideon's portrayed I like how this one worked out, because, as you say, it shows how he puts on this front and pretends he's okay but actually isn't at all. Bless him.
I'm slightly amused that you seem to be reading in work hours. Are they your designated fanfic hours or something? Haha.
And lastly, I was gonna say this in the next review I left you, but here will do fine. I have family who hail from Burnley BAD CHOICE. Haha. Na, I've never been there or anything, you're fine, I just found it amusing that of all the places to pick...
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It's strange, now we've had the Squib reveal it's like there was this sort of veil over all of the Lily scenes which we didn't even know was there but has now been removed! Or like Lily scenes were playing in art-house black and white and are now in full technicolour hi-def or something! It's great, this is meant as a good thing, that the air of mystery and something being unquantifiably OFF was there before (as it should have been!), I just couldn't put my finger on it, and now the truth's out this full life and stuff comes blaring out. It makes Lily (and Maddie) all the more entertaining and adorable. Really, really liked this chapter. It's like the whole thing was the last piece of a puzzle slotting into place, or YET MORE similes! Words fail me. Chapter Are Good.Author's Response: And what wonderful similes they are! I'm definitely glad that I managed to pull off the whole Lily secret playing out in such a manner - that was, obviously, the plan, so it's good to know that it worked :) Glad you liked the chapter ... honestly, I could just turn this entire fic into one about Lily at school and be quite content with it. Unfortunately I don't think neglecting James' story would go down too well. But yeah, any scene with Lily in it from now on will, if I'm not careful, totally be taken over by Maddie and Kit and other Muggle boarding school adventures. Which may not be such a bad thing, haha. THANKS FOR REVIEWING and all that jazz, muchos appreciated :) Report Review
Questions! And answers! And then MORE QUESTIONS!
Lily is a Squib. FanTAStic. Awesome Squibs are awesome, and Lily is totally awesome. That's great, that she doesn't let it slow her down, that she is completely turning it into a strength. I had, after all the Obliviating talk last chapter, been wondering if What Was Going On With Her was some HORRID SECRET the Potters were wiping people's memories over, but this is faaar more interesting and original.
Poor girl, that had to be a heartbreaking discovery, being the daughter of Harry Potter and a Squib, worse than being your average Squib, but she is handling it, and her life, AWESOMELY.
Ahem. And I'm glad Carlotta's also handling the magic well after calming down. Good on Freddie and Brie for being such good friends in helping James with it, especially since they've expressed their disapproval - that's what good friends do!Author's Response: I TOLD YOU I LIKED SQUIBS. :) Lily is the kind of person who, when put into such a situation, is more likely to seize the opportunity in it rather sit and mope, and so she's doing that, and I have Big Plans for her. She definitely helps to bridge the gap between the wizarding and Muggle worlds, which will be a big help for Carlotta. The next chapter is full of Lily (and Maddie) which you may like :)
Sometimes I think I've done Freddie and Brie a disservice, because they're James' bessies but he hasn't spent much time with Freddie so far, and the time he HAS spent with Brie has been when she's managing his life. So this chapter was nice to write because they had their 'friend' time, and yes, they helped him out massively.
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...sport. Lily and Maddie are talking about a sport. But... arglebargle, she wasn't playing in the Quidditch match, and Hugo's captain - unless she wasn't COMPLETELY lying about going to a different school? Did I miss this reference? Is she just in a different House? Playing a DIFFERENT sport?
WHEELS WITHIN WHEELS and I'm not convinced I'm not being slow as I just had a nap in between chapters.
That said, it's nice to see Lily with James (explaining interesting things and also handling him a little bit more like I imagine he'll respond well to), and I like that she has good friends. It seems so automatic in Next Gen fics for the kids to ONLY hang out with family members, EVER, and while some of that is natural if you don't want a cast of fifty thousand, it's also cool to see it different.Author's Response: I LOVE THAT YOU PICKED ALL THIS UP. You are not being slow at all. As you have by now discovered.
Lily probably deals with James the best, at least at the moment. Better than Brie, who is more of a motherly, managing figure at times, when she would be better off coming at it as purely a friend. Because James is less likely to listen to people who are properly telling him off. And he spends a lot of time with Lily because I enjoy writing her. More specifically, I enjoy writing Maddie, who is a total hoot at times. Report Review
Poor Carla. Poor James. But he's going to have to get responsible, for her as well as the Secrets of the Wizarding World. Though it's a very natural reaction to want to do an ostrich impression until the problem goes away, especially for someone like James, to whom responsibility does not come naturally! Alas, the women in his life (other than Lily) are probably not the best people to go to for help. Because I guess he KNOWS they're right, but he doesn't need TELLING what to do, he needs COAXING.
That said, it's not as if Rose or Brie are wrong to be verbally clipping him around the ear. And Obliviating sounds HORRID, I mean it also sounds NECESSARY and in some cases it's probably got to be the safest, most sensible answer for all involved, but I can totally believe wizards get Obliviate-happy.
Many laughs at Scorpius' appearance. If nothing else, the fact he didn't say anything (presumably since Rose ushered him the hell out before he could) makes me like to think she prefers him to just stand there and look pretty and stay silent!Author's Response: Poor James indeed! Yeah, he's going to have to take some responsibility for what he's done here. The ideal person to go to would, naturally, be Ginny because once she'd gotten over the whole "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE" thing she'd handle it perfectly fine. But he's hardly going to go to his mother and let her tell him off. Instead he goes to the people who he hopes will deal with it FOR him so that he doesn't have to do it himself...
I didn't realise just how horrible wiping someone's memories was until I started writing this!
HAHA yes. All Scorpius was doing was standing in his pants all night so she could ogle him. Report Review
Oh, JAMES. You were warned.Author's Response: James doesn't take warnings very well. You may have picked this up. Report Review
I thought James was taking Molly's birthday unnecessarily seriously. Sad times for House of Potter. :(Author's Response: Sad times indeed. :( Report Review
There are MYSTERIES in the Potter household. The situation between Harry and James. And there's SOMETHING about Lily. I'd wondered originally why she wasn't apparating but I'd assumed she was underage - now you've reminded us in the same chapter that she's eighteen AND isn't apparating. I assume it is not so innocuous as "she doesn't like it" (even if she clearly doesn't).
Mysteries. I must persevere to find the answers!Author's Response: This review fills me with smugness. Lily's secret is revealed Very Soon. Harry/James things will take longer to play out but yes, there is something there. I approve of and encourage this perseverance. :) Report Review
Ginny the Mother is perfect and hilarious, and I want HER to meet Carlotta. It sounds appropriately disastrous. And I'm so happy to nerd out over the Quidditch details and sports fun!Author's Response: Beyond excited to get to the Ginny/Carlotta moment. It will come, never fear! And I'm glad you like all the Quidditch stuff, I was worried that people wouldn't keep up with it. I barely kept up with myself when writing it! Report Review
Jumping off the Quidditch hoops without a brook. James Sirius really does channel his namesakes, doesn't he? And it's nice to see some more of Al and Rose.
Ah-ha! Yes, it makes sense for the wizarding world to become more Muggle-esque in the aftermath of the war. But James clearly has no soul if he doesn't appreciate a bit of Bryan Adams in his (drunken) life.
He poured away mead. I was right. Soulless.Author's Response: I try to get a good balance of cousins. Naturally Freddie will feature most, and Molly least, but on the whole they all have their moments in the spotlight.
I don't think James would be TOO averse to Bryan Adams. I think the kind of things playing at this cheese night would be more like S Club 7 and Blue type music, maybe even a bit of Aqua thrown in. The kind of music I LOVE when a bit tiddly, but James would think it beneath him.
He poured away mead to have sexy times. He just has his priorities in a particular order, and a bucketload of mead to boot. Report Review
Breakfast is ADORABLE. I also like that James IS nice in the morning. Just because it's no-strings-attached doesn't mean he'll crowbar them out his front door.
Oh BRIE, don't hate on the other women because of those silly men. It's okay. Freddie will get over being stupid or you'll find someone better. *pats*
Yes, James. Pursue the Muggle. What could go wrong??Author's Response: He won't crowbar them out because he likes to keep things going for a while, otherwise he'd run out of girls before long, haha. And naturally they had orange juice with their breakfast. And bacon. And egg. Possibly not in sandwich form though.
Poor Brigid is suffering right now. Things will pick up for her, she's too much of a babe to remain unhappy.
NOTHING WILL GO WRONG because nothing EVER goes wrong in James' world *coughs* Report Review
I can smell the Daddy Issues and I want to know what they are!! And good, wizards using phones. It drives me nuts when I try to figure how it works for them to ignore phones but have little to no magical means of instantaneous communication (so I invent magical instantaneous communication, but would using a mobile kill them??). And then later references to wizarding TV. I like the idea of the war forcing the magical world to 'modernise' a bit was eventually Muggle culture is less stigmatised, but I fear I could write a whole paper on this idea.
Ooh, I like the thoughts about how being a male Quidditch star gets you all the attention but it's different for women. It makes sense, especially as magical society isn't the most progressive out there. It can be tough, being a physically capable and active woman if a man decides he finds it intimidating.
Carlotta is awesome. You go get what you want, girl!Author's Response: The Weasley clan kind of have to use phones, the Potter branch in particular, for reasons which will become apparent. But yeah, I feel like the wizarding world would perhaps begin to adopt Muggle things but put their own twist on them. James is most definitely not entirely up to speed with Muggle communications though, he doesn't like using them if he doesn't have to!
Indeed. Poor Della and her intimidating figure...
Carlotta is totally James' type of woman. Not afraid to say what she means and get what she wants. :) Report Review
Aww, poor James, trying to make things right. At least he doesn't go into flat-out panic-mode at the sight of a crying woman. Hug her and give her chocolate cake, James, you'll do fine, you've got the right idea! Names of wizarding bars, clubs, and pubs are always fun, considering most British pubs have RIDICULOUS names so you have to go even SILLIER for wizarding ones...Author's Response: To be fair to him, James isn't too bad with emotional!Brigid. It doesn't happen often and if it does it's generally due to one reason, so he doesn't tend to lose his head. I'm yet to write a scene involving Freddie and an emotional woman though, now THAT would be a different situation entirely. Oh, the Drunken Hinkypunk is a great name if I do say so myself, until I go to type 'Hinky' and get 'Kinky' instead. Which would certainly make it sound a very interesting place for a night out, especially for someone like James... Report Review
Laughs for Freddie hiding in the bag. And Brigid continues to organise James' life. He may have to learn how to do that himself at some point. At least Lily doesn't hold his lack of involvement in her present against him, I was afraid not picking his own sister's birthday present was a step too far. At least it backfired!
I want to hug Brigid. A good job handling all the different faces in this chapter, too, it could have easily got sprawling and confusing, but didn't! God, marrying into the Weasley clan must be a daunting prospect, you'd need a chart to keep track of people. I have a soft spot for Percy so I'm glad Audrey is awesome!
Aand interesting, what's up between our intrepid hero and his father...Author's Response: Lily's used to James being hapless at managing his life. She has to do a fair bit of looking after him herself. I think she would have been surprised if he HAD bought the present himself. But yes, James has definitely got some more growing up and maturing to do.
Already, I'm hating the scenes which involve more than a few Weasleys. It's difficult to judge just how many people can be involved without totally confusing the dialogue and losing track of who's where, so I'm glad it worked out okay :) And I HATE people who make Audrey really horrible and irritating just because she's Percy's wife, so yeah, Audrey is cool. And the Harry/James dynamic is definitely one of the bigger aspects of the story :) Report Review
Oooh! Slytherins being realistic, and flawed, and yet not evil! I am indeed a fan. I was worried when I saw the blurb that I'd run into a Draco Malfoy, Sex God fic and have to smash the back button, but there he is, true to canon (ie, a bit of a berk) but seen through less antagonistic eyes and, thus, more compelling. I'm intrigued by your Pansy, and as I am ever a fan of notevil!Slytherins, I look forward to more of your Nott and Zabini.
Two thumbs up!Author's Response: Ohh thank you so much! You don't know how happy you made me! That's exactly what Im trying to achieve with this story - showing the Slytherin side of the books, and somehow discovering maybe why they are like they are, and make them human but at the same time keeping them in character.
So thank you so much! And keep reading, the second chapter is now up! Report Review
There are no words for just how downright hilarious this entire piece is. Paper cuts in retaliation! Gormless Harry looking like Goyle! A delighted lawn! FILING YOUR DESK! There are too many bits which made me howl with laughter (well, snigger quietly so as to not wake the house) for me to count - so that's a lot. My dead Dirigible Plum, this is a work of sheer bloody genius. Especially as I am ever fond of anything quintessentially British, and what could be more British than tea?
Genius. Sheer bloody genius.Author's Response: Wow thank you! British stuff rules dunnit?! I only say that because I'm British, therefore I rule. ;D haha I joke, tea far outstrips me in terms of coolness. :D
Thank you so much for this review! I'm glad you found a lot of funny bits! It's always nice to hear I manage to make people laugh occassionally. :D
This is really good! Something about the title caught me, and I'm not sure why... within the context, there's a lot of nostalgia and meaning to it, and I'm a sucker for that sort of thing. I usually skip over Marauder stories, finding most of them to be excuses for mediocre Sirius romances, but this looked promising so I gave it a go.
And I'm glad I did! The characterisation of Sirius is particularly strong, and he makes a great deal of sense. I enjoy how he's different mostly because he thinks; it's not that he's Seen the Light at the tender age of eleven, it's just that he happens to have a mind slightly more open so the seeds of change can be sown. James displayed the right level of confident morality bordering on arrogance, again hints of how he'll develop. And of course, I can't fault the ending!
My only - faint - criticism would be that theirs is a fairly sophisticated syntax for an eleven year-old, but I know first-hand it's a bugger to write it properly, and I also imagine both James and Sirius would have received rather intensive educations from a young age. Either way, it's only a minor issue, if even an issue at all, and partly because it's something I'm always paranoid of in my own writing. So there, I'm projecting on you.
Overall, excellent stuff, and I'll definitely be following this with interest. I don't usually give 10/10, but just for being so pleasantly surprised, I'll break a habit.Author's Response: wow, this story has brought in several people who said they don't normally read Marauder fics! I know exactly what you mean about the title. This is actually a title that I see used quite often. I normally try to be a little more original, but I saw the same things in it that you did. It is perfect, so I had to use it.
I'm really glad you liked Sirius. I want his change to the "muggle-lover" side to be subtle and realistic. He certainly hasn't seen the light yet, but James will have a big influence on him. You've caught exactly what I wanted you to. He's open and thoughtful and intelligent.
I can accept your criticism :) The same thought occurred to me while I was actually writing. But I shrugged it off, figuring they were intelligent boys anyway. You and I must think alike.
Thanks for the rating :) This is one of the nicest, most detailed reviews that I've received in a long while. it is greatly appreciated :) Report Review
Wonderful. Absolutely wonderful. A perfect depiction of those little realities of adult relationships, sweet and romantic whilst still being very rooted in the real world. Characterisation was spot on as well; I particularly liked Harry's attempt to appease Ron with beer. Hell, it's what I'D do under the circumstances! Lovely little snippet. Report Review
I'm not an H/H'er, but I did enjoy this. I particularly appreciate how you're not disregarding canon or anything because it doesn't follow your 'ship - I mean, AUs (or post-epilogue fics) are fun, and it'd all be rather boring if we all stuck 100% to canon, but there's a real challenge in making something compatible with canon when it doesn't follow the most obvious interpretation of it. So kudos for rising to that challenge, making it work with canon while still being different, and, above all, making it entertaining.Author's Response: Thank you very much! I'm thrilled you enjoyed it even though you don't ship H/Hr. And yeah, I like to alternate between AU and canon-complying fics. After all, the ones that are canon make for some fun angst. *Laughs*
Thanks so, so much for reviewing! :-) Report Review
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