Reading Reviews From Member: Slide
128 Reviews Found

Review #26, by SlideYear Five: Loose Lips

26th October 2014:
Huzzah, a Tristan chapter. Looking forward to seeing him in his school environment. Though Isobel is fast becoming my favourite; I do love the snarky-stoic ones. I regret never writing more Sir Cadogan in my fics. Or any at all. Poor Tristan, with his stoned consideration of a portrait's life.

I love Tristan's ruminations on the perspective of wizard-Muggle relations, though. It's so true that most magic users, even if they're being kind to Muggles, treat them in a kind of indulgent manner, like cute pets. I've often assumed Muggle Studies at Hogwarts to fill a similar ground, though we have NO examples of canon, and considering Charity Burbage died for her job it's nice to think that she is actually teaching her students about proper Muggle society and history.

Ha, yes. All jobs connect to government in the wizarding world. With some exceptions, but it's the majority of what we see. Isobel's goals are curious, and I wonder what it's stemming from. But obviously magical theory is heavily western-based (with the root words of most spells being Latin, or Anglo-Saxon, or Greek).

Poor Wood. Though imagine knowing someone like Wood and NOT caring about Gryffindor Quidditch. You'd go absolutely spare. Though I like that this scene, while casting Gryffindors in the imperfect light, doesn't make Tristan seem like a poor, innocent Slytherin. Aw, I was afraid Sprout was being anti-Slytherin, but it's sweet that she'd be looking out for people - and would make perfect sense for the Hufflepuff head.

Okay, I take back my comments on Wood. Admittedly I can see why he'd view Tristan that way, but his slight on Emily loses my sympathy. Sigh. Silly teenaged boys.

And more layers on Laurel. She is quite the mysterious one of the bunch, hmm? I note not just her motherly issues, but the 'Ms' on her mother, which is... telling. Also, I totally reckon most of the rest of the Houses would be utterly sick of Gryffindor. Love 'em, but they are so bloody overbearing. Still! It's 'nuanced' teenager hijinks, as neither side is the absolute victim here, and both have precipitated this conflict. I like it.

'Brycey.' Poor Tristan. That's, like, the worst punishment ever. Oh-ho, not even half-blood! Good for him. Also that makes a lot more sense, a Muggleborn marrying a Muggle; not everyone would want to give up their entire Muggle upbringing to be so completely immersed in the magical world as it tends to demand Muggleborns become.

I like these end notes of little factoids not in the prose! It would be clunky to exposit about wand-types for more than one person, but *I* care, anyway! :D

Author's Response: Oh man, portraits! What a can of worms! I couldn't not throw in some examination there ;)

I definitely wrote this story at a time when I was deep into studying colonialism, racial constructions, prejudice, etc - so that's a thing! Definitely wanted to point out the paternalism even in Good Wizards.

And a LOT of this story is inspired by the fact that Rowling came up with the idea of Harry all at once, when he was an adult, and then reverse engineered him to create the story. So in a very real way, the entire wizarding world revolves around Harry, since she designed it to suit his story. I was interested in how it might affect different people, who don't quite fit. (Tristan is very much my Anti-Potter - kind of like a mirror image, in some ways identical, but inverted).

Isobel is of mixed ancestry (English and Egyptian Arab - her uncle is Hassan Mostafa from GoF), so she definitely gets ruffled by Western bias.

Tristan is definitely a flawed person, and hardly in the right in that situation - just lashed out. In the conflict between Wood and Tristan, my sympathy lies with the geranium.

Heehee, I'm a Gryffindor myself, so I figured I could get away with showing how some of their characteristics could be obnoxious. (And as Rowling suggested in PS, there's rather a fine line between Brave and Stupid).

"Reluctant Slytherin" was such an exciting idea to me! I'm so glad you like! (And I dunno if it totally came across, but his mum is Mary MacDonald from Snape's DH memories!)

And I'm so glad you like all my little end notes! I did like, an embarrassing amount of research for this story, and not all of it ended up in the story explicitly, but I couldn't resist sharing certain things! And the Pottermore thing about Ebony wands was just TOO PERFECT!!!

Yee, I am SO STOKED on this swap! Thank you so much for your amazing reviews! I'm gonna have to ramp up my review game :D

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Review #27, by SlideYear Five: R

26th October 2014:
Right, here for more. And this story is so far proving just as much fun as the hype has led me to believe, so this is an absolute pleasure of a review exchange! If I'm being slow, it's because... well, I could plough through reading, but stories like this I want to sit down and Properly Review. If my incoherent 'thoughts as I read' ramblings count as Proper.

Ooh, wand lore. I've got way more into that since I found the Pottermore info.

It's got to be hard, having friends across Houses. There's not much indication of social spaces outside of common rooms, and not much (if any) indication of mingling at mealtimes. I'm guessing at this stage that Emily, for all her being alone, has an easier time than Tristan of having friendly acquaintances in her house and roommates.

OH he's a Slytherin. For some reason I didn't see that coming, I don't know why. A half-blood in Slytherin? I have all the more affection for him now.

Weasleys being an institution at Hogwarts, generation by generation, must be so true. You can just imagine the teachers' faces, at least between canon generation and Next Gen, of, 'It's that time again. I bellow "Weasley" down the corridor and ten students turn their heads, each of them equally guilty of SOMETHING.'

Curiosity on Tristan having some clue about Neville, but now I'm too busy melting over the story of Emily's first evening. I can totally see Tonks being that kind of superb protector of Hufflepuffs, the assertive kind of loyal - the woman was an Auror, after all - but we know she loved making people laugh. And the Dumbledore bit is heartening; I love deconstructing Dumbledore but for all his flaws, he clearly cared so very deeply for the students, and little gestures like that are so perfectly in-character. I have all the squee for this tale.

There's something ridiculously apt about introducing us readers to Emily smoking by having her break her own rule about never smoking alone. Limited access to cigarettes would really only stop kids from smoking so much at Hogwarts anyway.

I can see people using owls even in school. E-mail before e-mail. Huzzah for Muggle literature on top of Muggle music (and trolling uptight Slytherins)! Though... Emily asks a good question with regards to the Slytherin common room and owls.

...I should not have snort-laughed at Laurel's guess of Tristan's middle name. Oh, you irreverent, horrid teenagers.

Okay, Hufflepuffs being more open with their seats in casual dinners makes the most sense. I couldn't see the other Houses being as open to it; even Gryffindors are kind of proudly territorial. I just realised there are NO Gryffindors in your protagonist line-up - I approve! The other Houses need love, too (especially non-evil, differently-angsty Slytherins).

I sense long-term problems with Laurel and Cheering Charms.

Oh SNAPE. You typical, horrid, hilariously predictable man. I'm curious as to why he's protective of Tristan - protective of a fellow Half-Blood? - but being horrendous to Hufflepuffs and then Emily being safe *presumably* because she helps Tristan do well tickles me in that way wot it shouldn't.

Yipes, Blur were around back in 1991? Nirvana are pretty much essential for canon-era Potter stories which have any consideration for music, especially with, as you say, angsty teenagers. I thought it added colour (even though I'm no expert on the errata of early-90s rock), though it helps that I at least recognised all the names, even if I couldn't necessarily name a song from any of them.

Avoidance of paradox by contradicting yourself as much as JK is a pretty much genius way of dealing with the problem, though I entirely get the stance of recycling extant minor characters in the wizarding world wherever possible.

I'm really enjoying taking each of your protagonists at a time; it's doing a good job of fleshing them all out. Of course we learn more about the POV character at the time, but seeing the other characters through someone else's eyes also helps a great deal. I'm looking forward to the due Laurel chapter, partly because she's the one I've got the least grasp of yet, but this chapter did a very good job of solidifying Emily. Excellently fun chapter, loving how the introduction of extant characters and dynamics is being weaved together. It's blasted hard to do versus just writing all of your characters meeting. I like, very much!

Author's Response: I was SOOO stoked to find all these wand types for my characters!!! They work SO WELL! And crazily, my first instinct for everyone tended to be the exact right one (because obv Rowling was going on the same associations I was). I checked out other types just to check, but then my first choices fit best :)

Yes this story was VERY much about examining all the things conspicuously absent in Potter, cross house fraternization being one.

YEE, I'm so glad the Slytherin reveal came as I surprise! I really wanted it to be a shock moment with impact, but then also make sense :)

Oh my gosh, that quote you just wrote about Weasleys is BRILLIANT! I sort of want to write a NextGen now from the perspective of McGonnagall!

Heehee, curiosity overwhelmed by melting was the definite goal there :D Also, I liked the idea that Neville's Sorting was more of a significant moment than Harry's (META).

Hufflepuffs definitely don't get enough love, and Hufflepuff is my FAVORITE house, so I really wanted to show its awesomeness (and Tonks was an excellent way to do that!) And then, Dumbledore had this really important relationship with Harry, and is also nearly an omniscient person (which we can explain through magic). I wanted to suggest that he has important and meaningful relationships with ALL his students, to varying degrees, and cares about their well being also.

Yeah, everyone has cigarette rules when they start, and EVERYONE breaks them eventually :(

Haha - getting owls at Slytherin. Basically, since it's under the lake, I realized it was a hole in the story. Instead of closing said hole, I just drew attention to it, and then it's sort of a joke that I never explain HOW. *Waves hands* MAGIC!

Oh yes, the middle name thing. I wrote that at a time when I'd been having Important Conversations with my friends about whether or not it was ever possible to make a rape joke that was OK. This was my attempt.

Yeah, I didn't include any Gryffindors because I thought they got enough play in canon, and really wanted to examine the other houses :)

So, I LOVE Snape. From a literary perspective, he's my FAVORITE character. BUT, I remember when I was 9, and I first read HP, and how much he DROVE ME CRAZY. So I really tried to channel that angst here, and write Frustrating!Snape.

Oh yeah! The books thing. So like, no one in Potter ever read a NOVEL. Literature never even got MENTIONED. Had to fix that!

I definitely wanted to write music in such a way that people didn't really have to know the bands for the point to come across. I definitely didn't want to do a self-indulgent LOOK AT THE MUSIC I LIKE thing, and so I tried to focus on what was era appropriate, and suited the characters. (Although, for those that are familiar, sometimes there is FORESHADOWING in the music! But it's just a nice extra, and not important to know) (Also, researching 90s music, DUDE, Pulp is SO OLD. They've been around since FOREVER). OH, and I got the idea for this around the time I was reading the Phonomancer comics, which are about the 90s music scene in England, and also music being magic.

Laurel's POV is very intentionally excluded until the second act, because I really wanted to kind of build up everyone else's perspectives on her. And yee! I'm so glad your liking how I develop things through different POVs! There's like, THEMES about that that emerge later. (I started writing this after reading the Autobiography of Alice B. Toklas by Gertrude Stein, and got all stoked on the idea of Literary Cubism :D) [MY FANFIC IS VERY PRETENTIOUS]

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Review #28, by SlideYear Five: The Hex Head Express

23rd October 2014:
Huzzah, more protagonists! I have read so many depictions of the departure of the Hogwarts Express, but it must always be *chaotic* and this captures such deliciously so. Poor prefects.

'Had a charm'. Ah, we're getting into our magical abuse early, I see! Nothing good could come of teaching young kids Cheering Charms, really, could it. And it makes sense you couldn't cast such a spell on youself. I sense Isobel may be more of the straight man of this group, not to mention seeming more insightful than the others so far. I always have sympathy for such figures.

A short, sharp, but distinct description on Laurel. Effective.

I forgot to mention in the previous review (this is what happens when I don't review as I read, but I got a bit sucked in), but I'm liking the references to our 90s Muggle bands. Potter's becoming more of a period piece, huh? I enjoy it when characters like Tristan are used as links to Muggle culture, it helps stories feel more grounded in reality. Y'know, alongside all that -magic-. Poor Muggle music-lovers, stranded at Hogwarts without the chance to listen.

Laughs for Isobel trying to be introspective and clever but being too stoned to succeed. 'Hex Head' is a good and apt name! And now I feel sorry for Percy, having to contend with this Cheerful Band, but it's always good to see the twins and they're spot on. Good-hearted, but I can see them wanting to burst around with the news about Harry.

Hooray for cross-House friendships, not enough of those around. And an effective exposition of character appearance and mentality by contrasting their behaviour when it comes to getting changed.

D'aw, poor Tristan. I forgot to say last chapter that I really liked the gut-stab of, 'Does it count if she doesn't remember it.' The woes and perils of a teenaged boy, amplified by the woes and perils of, well, mixing magic and Muggles. And this scene of them talking is doing good work in further defining the group dynamics.

Oh God, little Hermione. Oh, the Toad was Trevor - I did not twig that. *facepalm* How long did she spend on that hunt? Girly gossip against Penelope has oddly pleased me. It's fun to see the petty side of teenagers, especially amongst the protagonists.

...the twins got Arthur high. *dusts off hands* I'm done. Nothing will ever top that.

...alright, I'm back again. Eyyy, Hufflepuff stoner jokes. And now I'm sad because of Tonks. It's still always cool to be reminded of her life outside of canon; of all such characters, she's the one I envision having had a full, vivacious life.

Ah, JK and maths. I feel you. I tend to just hand-wave it myself; I only ever develop around 40 students per year ('develop' can just include 'name') and assume the rest are all background filler. They're there, they're just silent extras. Though it would change the dynamic; 150 students a year means there'd be people in your own year you'd only know by name and sight, while with 40 you'd probably have a pretty good idea who everyone was. I admit, things like the '1000 students' leads me personally to believe the magical world is bigger than JK presents it to be.

Loved the adventures on Trevor the Toad. But then I'm a real sucker for works which go alongside canon and address tiny things like that in passing. It's fun, and it makes everything feel connected. I'm really enjoying this story! The characters are starting to come together as a collective, I'm liking the obvious fun and flaws of them, and I adore good OC-centric Hogwarts fics. Honestly, this is making me want to go back and edit and spruce up a lot of my old work because you're really hitting the nail on the head in making Hogwarts feel inhabited by *teenagers*. I shall trot on with this in time! Good work.

Author's Response: Hello!

Yes, the CAN OF WORMS that is cheering charms gets more pronounced the more you think about it! And Harry learned them in third year! DO NOT TEACH 13-14 YEAR OLDS MIND ALTERING SPELLS!

My faceclaim for Laurel is a young Chloe Sevigny (confirmed beautiful), but young people can be judgmental. I definitely stared at photos of her trying to think of critical things to say.

YEE! Underlining the era was something I really wanted to do here, because the films were set in ambiguously 'present day.' I think that was a mistake, because casual movie-goers ended up calling plot holes on things that aren't (how can they keep all this stuff secret with twitter and camera phones around???)

And yes! Having to spend months on end without your favorite music, AS A TEENAGER, must be excruciating!

I'm especially proud of the term Hex Head :D

And the twins TOTALLY WOULD, amiright?!?! That idea was particularly delicious to me, as I'd imagine Arthur thinking of it as some muggle curio, not really understanding the implications ;)

GUH, I know what you mean about Tonks D: When I realized they would have overlapped with her at Hogwarts, I definitely wanted to give her a presence!

Based on actual canon, Hogwarts would have just under 300 students. I'm basically working with that number (or less). But whatever, magic. I kind of liked thinking of the magic population as being SUPER TINY. That's why I gave every single OC in this story some sort of connection to a canon character.

That you think this fits alongside canon, and feels properly Teenagerly, is huge praise! Those were basically my goals in this story! I figure that every school has its 'smoking under the bleachers' clique - even Hogwarts!!!

Thank you so much for the reviews! I am SO HAPPY about this pairing :) I ended up staying up WAY too late last night reading Ignite, but will definitely go back and review all the chapters!


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Review #29, by SlideYear Five: Prologue (1991): Dozens of Little Televisions

22nd October 2014:
Here for the Gryffindor review exchange, though I'm not going to lie, this was on my reading list for a good long time. And I'm glad I've got the excuse/prompt to start!

This is an excellent opener. An excellent introduction to Tristan as a character, and an excellent dangling string to make me want to know more. Families are often left by the wayside in stories, so I'm glad to see that's not the case for at least one character. Even if we never see more of his parents as the story goes to Hogwarts, seeing just a glimpse of them rounds out this glimpse of Tristan. Muggles married to wizards would be relationships with their complexities, also hinted at!

From a more technical perspective, it's a well-written piece. An evocative delivery of Sophie's environments, mentally and physically as we move from her reflections to Tristan's room to the rest of the house. The slow-boiling move from the very mundane issues of a teenager to the increasingly magical environment slides in the fantasy layer by layer. And boy, while the resolution was inevitable, I felt sorry for poor Sophie. Another Muggle a 'victim' of the wizarding world's need to protect itself.

Plus, the inevitable: teenagers acting like teenagers. Sex, drugs, rock and roll. Always refreshing to read about in the somewhat-twee environment of Hogwarts. Love it to bits, but the Potterverse teens act only occasionally like teenagers. Even in my own writing of OCs at Hogwarts, I don't embrace my mad-cap teenaged years as much as I should have, so kudos!

This might happen piece-by-piece over the next week plus, but I will definitely be cracking on with more reviews! Good work!

Author's Response: YEE! Thank you!

Yes, the details of a mixed muggle and wizarding household were such an interesting idea to me, and something we didn't get the chance to see much of in canon. I'm glad you like the family stuff as much as I do!

I really like your interpretation of Sophie as 'victim.' I was really interested in the ways that the wizarding world could create unique difficulties for teenagers. And just realistically, this sort of thing MUST happen from time to time (raging hormones: the largest threat to the statute of secrecy).

Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll is basically what this whole story is about! They were the three things conspicuously absent from canon, and I super wanted to see how they play out in a magical context! I figure that these things could have been going down in the periphery at Hogwarts, and Harry and co. were just too distracted fighting evil to ever participate.

I am so stoked about this pairing! I've been meaning to read Ignite for AGES, and I've fallen in love!


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Review #30, by SlideThe Last Snowy Feather: Biding Her A Silent Farewell

29th September 2014:
Here for the review exchange! And just from the summary I suspect this is going to upset me.

Not much in the book was made of Hedwig's death, which is sad because it was the first, shocking gut-punch of the story. It's good to see an analysis of Harry's feelings on the subject, as they were skimmed over very much in the books.

So I like that this is picking it up after it's all over, after Harry can stop and reflect on what's been, and realises that he misses her. I like the idea he found the feather after going through his stuff, or the like, and was just hit with this grief. It's natural, because Hedwig was all the things this story addresses - his tether to the world, as well as his first friend, even on top of being a beloved pet (which is still important!). So, the story handles Harry's grief very effectively and believably.

Hermione's role in the story works. I took a canon-reading of this by default, viewing this as them being just friends, and it didn't jar at all. It's entirely believable that Hermione would be the one to get why Harry's upset, and to be able to come up with something magical which would make him feel better. It's a nice way to say goodbye, and with all the two have been through, it's apt for them to say goodbye to Hedwig together.

So, I really enjoyed this! Short but sweet and tackled something I hadn't consciously realised was lacking in canon, which I always like to see in a story. From a technical perspective, my only comment would be that your prose can get a bit wordy, describing every little physical movement or tone of voice more than is strictly necessary. Have faith in your dialogue! It does a good job communicating what it needs to; don't worry too much about every tiny detail. This is something I've struggled with in my writing, too; trust your simple descriptions to convey what you want. The pieces you need are in place, just take a hatchet to excess words, is my advice (see, even this review section gets wordy, I can't judge).

Nevertheless, this was a very sweet piece, and one I enjoyed a lot. Both as a reflection of Harry's feelings on losing Hedwig, and what she meant to him, and as a snapshot of the understanding relationship between Harry and Hermione. Good work!

- Slide

Author's Response: Hi!

Yeah, it is sad that in the books, Harry didn't really had the opportunity to mourn over really those who've died. It was something I wanted to see... at least at the ending of the book - after Harry defeated Voldemort. I think it'd have made a better epilogue had Rowling wrote about maybe Harry reminiscing the past... what he lost... then a straight-forward 19 year happy-ever after. Not that I hated the ending. I just expected different that's all.

Aw, yeah... I don't know why I can't write what I imagine properly. I know when I be sounding confusing in my writing, and just at those times, I can't think of anything that would sound better when I want to replace it. I will try to be careful of how I word things.

I am glad too that you enjoyed this overall, and I want to thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

- Asphodel

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Review #31, by SlideJigsaw: Piece #2

11th September 2014:
I have been meaning to sit down and get to this. So! Sitting down.

This chapter starts with a good use of the present tense (proving my dubiousness kind of wrong), dumping us into the moment with an immediacy which helps set the scene. It's a good job painting the picture of the environment, and I certainly got a sense of creeping isolation which is starting to apply to Roxanne, too. She's out in the middle of nowhere, starting her own story on her own.

Ooh, Daniel's a Hit Wizard. So, reckoning whatever went down between them might have been conflict of law enforcement vs press. Or there WILL be such a conflict. That's my current bet.

I love stories dealing with the press because there's such an ambiguity to their work. The truth, but at what cost when it comes to legality, to privacy, to fairness? Those ideas are being seeded, and good on Roxanne for wanting the opportunity. I like that she's hungry for a chance, it's very realistic.

Richard's painted well as a character from the get-go. A less-than-attractive trait like yellow teeth makes him all the more real in a matter of sentences, and then the personal details keep him interesting. It's kind of nice that I can't tell if he'll be a regular character you're building up, or if he's just a part of the wider world who we'll move on from; either way it feels natural.

Martha Mockridge. ANOTHER good wizard name. And I like the tidbit about the Prophet now being fully independent; just a nice bit of world-development. That and the existence of wizarding press other than the Prophet itself or the Quibbler, entirely believable.

Seems Roxanne's question has stumbled on something; Mockridge's 'no comment' screamed, 'yes,' especially shutting down the questions afterwards. Good fact exposition of what's happened without getting clunky, too.

Ahaha, Daniel is here. Less analysis from me, more popcorn. He's all softening to see her, now he's getting protective, now he's giving a warning. Hm, he wouldn't give a warning if something weren't up, just as Hit Wizards wouldn't be here if it were nothing. But I like that her wishful thinking starts to interpret him as wanting something BETTER for her, it's a believable sort of misunderstanding.

Good second chapter! I feel we're getting more of a grasp of Roxanne and you didn't waste time progressing with the plot after the last chapter did a good job of introduction. Plus, pulling back more of the layers of Roxanne, her personality, her life, is always more interesting. I look forward to more!

Author's Response: Hi again!

I'm really happy that you think the present tense is still working, and that it's kind of doing what I intended it to here, throwing the reader into the action with Roxanne as she starts on her first story.

Hmm, those are interesting theories about Daniel! I can't confirm anything of course, but I think you might have some good ideas there!

The ambiguity around the press here is something really interesting for me to explore, because Roxy's so driven and wants to make it as a journalist, but at the same time she's not had as much exposure to these high profile stories which really call into question the ethical/moral side of what she does.

Richard was one of those characters who came to life and kind of wrote himself into this chapter, when I wasn't intending him to be more than a passing mention originally. It's great that he feels real, and you'll be seeing more of him in the future, although in what capacity, I couldn't possibly say.

The wizarding names have been so fun for me to try and come up with, and I'm glad you like Martha Mockridge's name! The world development has been fun to write, as well as the question session. You might be onto something with Mockridge's response...

I'm glad that you liked Daniel's appearance at the end of this chapter - I really like reading your theories about what has happened between them and this encounter at the end too. Thank you so much for these reviews, they've put a massive smile on my face!

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Review #32, by SlideJigsaw: Piece #1

3rd September 2014:
Here for the swap! And you left me such a lovely review I better make this a good 'un.

First up, it's a good opening. Lots of questions to ask. Who is he? Why is he thankful he's alone? Why 'for once', who's normally there? His shaking hands raise questions (and certain theories) as to what he's 'lacking'. Some stories start with action and some start with atmosphere; while there's action here, this one's way more about mystery. The Imperius gives it a nice, Serious sort of feel amongst the mundanity of tea-drinking and Mysterious visitors, but I'm feeling there are nice clues here which will make sense in time. I'm a sucker for mysteries.

And then to our intrepid lead. I must confess out of the gate: I'm not a huge fan of the present tense for storytelling, *generally*. I'd be curious as to why you're using it - but I know it can work well for mysteries, as then the narrator is learning facts at the same rate as the audience. And, rest assured - as I got into the story I just got into the flow, the tense wasn't a problem for me At All.

Our introduction to Roxanne and her Ordinary World is effective. The scene is set for the Prophet office nicely, a good drawing on all of the senses to give us her environment. Violet Toots (great name) is introduced perfectly - it takes a certain kind of lady to wear orange fingernail polish, and I enjoy how Roxanne is introduced kind of in contrast to her. Roxanne makes Violet talk about herself more, dodges questions, which makes me think of Roxanne already as pretty canny, good with people, and underestimated. And boy, do I feel sorry for Roxanne. Rotten, entry-level stories indeed. A rivalry with an unpleasant person who seems to have rocketed up the career ladder far faster.

I totally agree that wizarding society would have to start catching up with Muggle technology. With recent developments, I think it makes no sense that wizards would remain LESS capable than Muggles at communication. Either adopting and adapting that tech or finding purely magical ways to get the equivalent of a mobile phone make perfect sense. You may find in my reviews I'm easily distracted by little world-building nuggets like that, but I like it! It makes sense! Which leads us right into wizarding locations in London NOT in Diagon Alley, of which I also infinitely approve. Love the off-the-beaten-track feel of the Grindylow.

I shake my fist at you for putting clues at Mysterious Family Problems. Even if I do this myself to readers! Trouble with Fred! Trouble via proxy with James! I want to know all the secrets. And it always makes me sad to see George struggling throughout his life with his twin's death. It makes perfect sense, and perfect sense it would impact his marriage, and it's realistic - but sad.

So it seemed Roxanne dodged Violet's question about her love life for a reason more specific than just not wanting Violet to know personal things! I'm enjoying these little clues of Roxanne's life; I'm always a fan of stories which throw me into them and then tug away the layers as the story continues, revealing the personal alongside the plot. The relationship with Jane is well-crafted; you establish early on their strong connection and their rapport, the lives they're in as struggling young twenty-somethings. It's believable and very real while remaining rooted in the magical world.

And then Higgins comes along with our Call to Adventure (I'm feeling very Monomyth today), no doubt to link back up to prelude. So this was all setup, Ordinary World, but I enjoyed it greatly. You do a fine job of introducing Roxanne and her life, professional and personal, and it's full of conflicts and ups and downs which still feel believable, relatable, and compelling. You give the audience a taste, and dangle the threads to leave them wanting more. And I want more! Especially the family woes. I'm a sucker for family conflict.

I shall crack on with the second chapter, as this was plenty of fun, though I may sleep on it first. Glad I finally got around to this!

Author's Response: Hi Cathy! Sorry it's taken me so long to respond to this amazing review, it's kind of intimidating to respond to something like this from someone who's such a fantastic writer!

I'm really pleased you liked the opening and thought that I built up the mystery there and had you asking questions about what was happening. I can tell you've already picked up on some of the hints that I was leaving, so I hope that I won't disappoint you with the way that it works out!

To be honest, the narrative voice used for this story changed completely from the first time I wrote it. It started off in third person, past tense, so the switch to first person and present was quite a big one - a lot of it stemmed from the fact that the story didn't feel like it was flowing when I wrote it the first way, and also because I like the immediacy of present tense. Hopefully that makes sense, and I'm glad you felt that it didn't detract from the narrative!

I'm really happy you liked the introduction to Roxanne and her ordinary life, before the mystery starts properly. I was worried that people would find it a bit boring, but at the same time I want to give people an insight into what her life is like - the dynamics at the Prophet alone are interesting, with the other workers there and the fact that she's so frustrated with getting all the rubbish stories instead of anything exciting.

I'm not going to complain about you noticing the world-building details :P I'm happy you find the mobile phones believable as I know a few people absolutely hate the idea, although I do think they'd start progressing a bit by this point! And the Grindylow was so much fun to write about, I really like including settings that aren't just in Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade!

Haha yes, Mysterious Family Problems - that's a good name for it! And there are definitely plenty of clues about Roxy's life in this chapter, so it's great that you can pick up on all of those things. Jane's one of my favourite characters in this, and their friendship is so fun to write - plus, it was important to me to write characters who don't have everything going perfectly for them at this age, because in my experience there aren't many people in their early twenties who have everything sorted!

I'm really pleased that you enjoyed this first chapter, and thank you so much for a brilliant review - it means a lot, especially coming from a writing like you!

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Review #33, by SlideSunshine: Hero

19th August 2014:
Here for our noble House's review swap! Yay, Neville. Who doesn't love Neville?

The beginning here's effective; starting with dialogue and then attaching the sounds around the voices, adding details on the speakers - then the environment. The story feels like it starts out of focus and then builds up more and more detail. Which puts us rather neatly, I think, into Neville's headspace. He's shocked. Exultant. Numb. And then reality rushes in.

Needless to say, I like it.

I'm always a sucker for people feeling loss in victory when that means a turning point in their life. The bittersweetness is a human, natural, and conflicting thing, as is the guilt over the apprehension.

It's all too easy to write a hero being bashful or self-effacing, and it's even easier to imagine Neville being such a hero. Neville contemplating his own courage and admitting/accepting it without arrogance is done very believably and effectively here, though. You build up nicely how much people like his Gran, Luna and Harry have faith in him, so who are we, the readers, to argue with them?

The ending could have been a slightly clumsy, 'And here's the girl he'll marry!' shoe-in. The connection to his courage, to the blurry awareness being filled in by details, changes it, and makes it a nice focal point. She's one of the details he can fill in after the years of struggle. The hero still needs to screw his courage to the sticking place to face the girl.

Like the whole story, it's sweet and human, very Neville and perfect for the immediate aftermath of the battle. Heroics and mundane reality falling into one. I highly enjoyed this!

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Review #34, by SlideWarning: There are no cliches present in this story: Illogical

23rd June 2014:
Harry's line made me laugh loud enough to scare the cat. Good stuff!

Author's Response: You have no idea how happy it makes me to see you posting here! I remember people raving about your stories when I last frequented fandom sites *reminisces'. Also you have a cat, which is completely awesome. Harry's line is personally one of my favourites so I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for taking the time to review.

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Review #35, by SlideDerailed: uno

2nd June 2014:
First! *makes excitable high-pitched noises* It's heeere!

Okay. It's super-weird to see James being called James in the prose. Brain needs changing gears. And now my brain's weird because I approve of the reminder that Hermione was tortured in Malfoy Manor. Or, rather, it takes more than everyone holding hands and saying they're sorry to get over war-scars. But! Not an insurmountable problem. I look forward to how it goes down.

And already I need popcorn. Ginny's concerns are not ill-founded. James moving with the future is a positive sign for his generation. But Malfoy Manor for a Squib fundraiser is a wee bit beyond the pale! In fact, Ginny's entire explanation is exactly right. You know me, I hate these kinds of issues getting swept over, and any story dealing with the Next Gen has to eventually tackle it.

Then Ginny continues being awesome by channelling her mother. I know I keep gushing over your Ginny being maternal and obviously being her mother's daughter while still being Ginny, but it's TRUE.

Huh. Running the Three Broomsticks! I did wonder how she and James would cope with him working at Hogwarts; for some reason Hogsmeade didn't occur to me. And the ruminations on the wizarding world's much more lax standards for running a pub is... worrying. Not that canon ever established the wizarding world as halfway responsible with... anything. OFSTED would have a fit over Hogwarts.

But it works for them! And Carla. And I can imagine that there will be future problems with her family - that does not seem like a sustainable problem. She can't keep them out of Hogsmeade for the rest of her short-term life. Or, rather, they will EVENTUALLY demand to see where she lives. Surely.

I would have more thoughts, but Ginny accepting Carlotta as part of the family so openly is giving me the fuzzies, and I'm all a-flutter for the Malfoy Manor Shenanigans. So, good first chapter! Establishes passage of time, implies developments of relationships in the period, and sets up future conflicts, all in a nice, bite-sized chunk.

I need more bites. Good stuff!

Author's Response: It's taken me the best part of a month to reply to this? SHAME ON ME.

I'm finding it really weird to write James as James in the prose, too. It's not hard to adjust to Carlotta's head, it's just when it comes to actually writing it throws me.

This story definitely has much more focus on the war scars of the older generation, and how people have dealt with reconciliation after fighting on opposite sides for so long. It's certainly not one of those which brushes it all under the table. And that's why Rose/Scorpius exists in Railsverse; for the payoff in Derailed.

Ginny's almost MORE awesome in Derailed than in Rails - in Rails she's James' mum so she's going to be all motherly towards him, but in Derailed her maternal nature is much more apparent from Carlotta's perspective. So awesome is she.

Yeah, Carlotta's running the pub! This is one of the bits I was most excited about introducing. She's now well and truly living in the wizarding world, and putting her in the pub means I can orchestrate almost any scenario I want. Fabby. Not to mention the increased comparision between the wizarding and Muggle worlds. Including, yes, bureaucracy.

How does Carlotta balance living in the wizarding world with maintaining relationships with her family? Well, that will be well and truly dealt with here. :)

Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #36, by SlideOff the Rails: epilogue

14th May 2014:
OH MY GOD this is the end. Ooh, time-skip. Ooh, James and Freddie. Ooh - WEDDING? OH MY GOD WEDDING. WHOSE.

It's so vague. I swear I could give a thoroughly coherent assessment of this setup, and the people, and how adorable that it's another Weasley wedding in a marquee out in the back garden of the Burrow and that's very sweet but WHICH ONE OF THEM IS GETTING MARRIED.

...I wonder what sort of qualification/cultural role 'old wizards who conduct weddings' have in magical society. I mean, obviously it's not religious; is it just a Job People Go Into or is there some sort of tradition of a community elder or the like? Wait. Now is not the tme for this kind of rumination.

Okay, Carla's shown up - too soon, yes, no - RIGHT! Not the bride. Yeah, you would mess with us at the last minute, wouldn't you? You're cruel.


I'm sorry, you wanted this to be a coherent review? You have picked the wrong circumstances in which to set your epilogue if that's the case, bucko. Oh, of course it begins with a wedding and ends in a wedding; I was too distracted by my sheer, uncertain squeeing terror to be able to analyse that properly. But a nice case of beginnings, a nice opportunity to nod at how much James has changed over the course of the story. D'aww, and Carla noticed how happy it made him, and that it made him so happy for his friends makes ME happy.

But he's not changed that much, because marriage is still pitting him into blind terror. That's my boy! Nooo not Cordelia. She had so much to live for! The final tragedy to remind us of the frailty of life amidst all this happiness and new beginnings!

Derailed Derailed Derailed. *hops up and down*

Okay. Right. Phew. Post-story analysis and overview and stuff. FIRST, your James is a sweetheart, and the James Potter to end all James Potters for me. I've adored him and adored following his story. I think what I've enjoyed the most is that you set him up as the typical arrogant playboy, learning the error of his ways and growing up, but most of all he was ALREADY a lot older and more mature than the first glimpse implied. The story wasn't just about seeing him change, it was also about peeling back the layers.

The James Potter we thought we knew was neither the James Potter he became NOR the James Potter he was in the first place. A play-boy, but with reasons for his apprehension - and nevertheless a devoutly loyal friend, the furthest thing from selfish. A Quidditch player star keen to succeed, but who hated the fame - and on the pitch was where he was his most sensible, level-headed, and mature. And these presented both beautiful contrasts in him but also the beautiful conflicts for him to resolve.

That, and the side characters. Carlotta's a darling, though for me my adoration does fall all the more on Brigid, Lily, and Maddie. Two original characters who just dominated every scene they were in - one with raucous hilarity, the other just by being such a solid friend and solid character as to stand out. And Lily - the best, most original take on Lily, and yet one which somehow fits so perfectly. Honourable mention in the end to your Audrey, too. The coolest aunt.

Three moments stand out for me in the story. The Lily twist, the one which was set up all along and so OBVIOUS when it came out, but which I never saw coming. The first proper conversation with Harry, which I had been so keen for, to finally discover what James' daddy issues were - and I remember you put it when he was at its lowest, where something I'd been hankering for just made me SAD, because it hurt him so much! And, of course, the Carlotta revelation, the one we knew was coming in some way, shape, or form, and yet anticipating it didn't make it any less satisfying, any less heartbreaking.

I got into your writing (aside from returning the favour on the reviews) because I was ALL ABOUT the war-time angst of Frozen, and mostly checked out Rails Because It Was There. But there are reasons I can get snobby about Next Gen dramas; they need to feel like logical continuations of characters and the magical world, not just high school hijinks with Next Gen names slapped on, and this does everything a genuine continuation of the Potter world should do.

I'm hyper-excited for Derailed, but if nothing else this is a superbly well-rounded and finished story, and if they rode off into the sunset at this point, I would have no regrets.

Good story, bro.

Author's Response: ...I don't even know how I'm supposed to respond to this review. It's like having two reviews in one - the wonderful incoherent mess and then the good wording bit. It makes me oh so happy.

THE WEDDING SWITCH. Oh, there was much evil cackling as I wrote this. OF COURSE James and Carlotta aren't getting married. And yes, we both start and end with a wedding because I am clearly Very Good at doing symbolism things. I think it's a nice way to see how James has changed over the course of the fic though, bless him.

Yes, Cordelia's fate is evidently a reminder of the frailty of life. Or just demonstrating that James still isn't quite capable of looking after a pygmy puff. But he's getting there. :)

James. Oh, James. I always knew he was going to be a deeper person than who we thought we knew at the beginning, but he honestly surpassed my expectations in every way. Initial plans for Rails were different to how things turned out - because Carlotta was meant to have a bigger part to play, she was meant to be the person who grounded him. But in the end I had to change it, because James saved himself. And I'm glad that happened because I think it makes for a far better story than "girl saves guy". He's been so lovely to write, and I know I'm going to miss being in his head for Derailed.

I do hope Carlotta wins even more of your adoration come Derailed, but even so I can see why Brigid, Lily and Maddie get the love. The Lily twist was so satisfying to write, and it gives the opportunity for all manner of wizarding/Muggle contrasts which I never get sick of exploring. Much more of THAT to come in Derailed.

Oh, that Harry moment. It absolutely broke me, having to post that chapter, when I knew you were so keen for the Daddy issues but the conversation that came wasn't quite the one you were hoping for... that was James' lowest point by far, and it was nice to be able to write the HAPPY father/son conversation a few chapters' later.

Derailed WILL happen. I won't be able to live with myself if I don't get that plot written. Trust me, I'm as excited as you are for this.

I was so surprised when I saw your first Rails reviews. I saw your username and thought "ooh, she's come for Frozen" - and then I looked again and got VERY excited. It's been so lovely to have your reviews and support while I've been writing, because I know your thoughts on Next Gens and it's very satisfying to know this is a fic you've genuinely been able to enjoy. And the reviews have all been so helpful, especially when I've had worries about a particular chapter. THANK YOU.

Good review bro.

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Review #37, by SlideLike a Rat in a Maze: Coal-black Eyes

8th May 2014:
Ooh, first person present. I'm always nitpicky about this as a tense choice, but I think you're using it effectively. It's at its best when it's very immediate and personal, and starting this in a kind of dream-state for Peter helps emphasise that; we start in his head and pull out.

Cool description on the growing awareness of Snape. It meant I'd figured it out before we were sure, which was good! And Snape's voice in this is just as strong as Peter's is proving to be. And I'm liking the descriptions in general - effective depiction of the pain Peter's in, effective catch-up exposition. I love the point that James and Lily would recognise Snape immediately after all these years, but not Peter.

It's good to see Peter with a spine, not just as a Death Eater but in his interactions with Snape. He was part of the gang who harassed him as a kid, after all; he'd know how to give as good as he'd get. And it's good to see him THINKING; I love his panicked rush to lie, to proclaim just how foolish he is so of course he couldn't sell them out.

And Peter's manipulation of Snape, without an Unbreakable, is good. I really like your Peter; sympathetic, worthy of pity, but at the same time with his own fire and strengths. I don't see how Peter would have been so successful a Death Eater if he was ONLY pathetic and snivelling; sure, some of it was Voldemort having limited options, but the guy was a Marauder and one of the Dark Lord's closest. He's got talents.

Nice depiction of Legilimency. Like a version of hypnotism but more, er, magical. And a vivid depiction of what went down at Godric's Hollow, but it was fun to see it from Peter's perspective. I like that the regret is distant - it's there, but it's not what keeps him up at night. It's something more slow-burning, simmering under the surface, while Snape...

Well, I did wonder if Snape was originally trying to see Peter's memories to cover up an Order attack, but he's obviously got different agendas. Love the description of Voldemort as 'elemental' - he's like a force of nature, it's hard to HATE him for choices. He doesn't make choices, he just IS.

Though that ending is just chilling. This was really good! I thought it was going to be more about Snape being a spy, so this had a nice underlayer of me assuming I knew what was going on and being WRONG. While it was perfectly seeded. I like that!

Top work.

Author's Response: Hi, there! Sorry to take so long to respond.

This was the second story that I've written in first person and it's definitely painful. I spent a lot of time going back and fixing places where I accidentally slipped into the wrong tense when I was editing this.

Thanks for your compliments on the descriptions. Solving the "mystery" of this story was very dependent on what Peter was seeing and feeling, so I thought it was important to get that right.

I think you and I see Peter the same way. I never liked the portrayal of the character in the films, the way they made him so cowardly and fawning and almost scared of his own shadow. It took a perverse sort of courage to make the choices he made when he betrayed his friends. I wanted to show some of that here.

Like I said in the A/N, I do owe a credit on the description of Legilimency to my pal GingeredTea. She came up with the excellent "cool fog" description. I think that Peter regrets what he did, in his own way, but you're right. It isn't foremost on his list of worries.

Yes, Snape! I had loads of fun stripping away that cool, calculating mask he always wears and letting some genuine anger out. There was no way that he didn't hate Peter for what happened to Lily. I couldn't imagine that he wouldn't have acted on those feelings while he had Wormtail all alone at his house in Spinner's End.

I'm really pleased that you enjoyed the story. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

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Review #38, by SlideOff the Rails: sixty-three

3rd May 2014:
D'aww, baking. It's pretty adorable and also delicious. And I love watching the products of the Weasely family having such a fixation with food. Molly would have made sure they were fed well. They will be accustomed to feasts!

I see James may have a little ennui after what could be considered the 'peak' of his career. I doubt it will be (he could Captain England to the World Cup, after all!) but he'd be forgiven for coming down into something of a slump. Ah, good, he has a plan.

I see. Actually, this makes sense. Considering he HAS, yes, like I just said... 'peaked'. Arguably. But moving on to something DIFFERENT (I'm assuming the Hogwarts teacher) seems apt. And like something that would make him happy! I'm not sure why this didn't occur to me sooner. I thought, "No way will he quit," but now he's quitting it makes sense!

That's actually very sad that the attention is killing his love of the game. Not outright, but I imagine a lot of players DO, while loving the game, enjoy some of the attention. It's only natural to enjoy the adulation on some level. But by now James DOESN'T really, with the lifetime of all the fuss. What a shame. At least he's "happy".

*flails at Brie* She really is a sweetheart. And has sorted out Freddie. Or, more importantly, he sorted himself out, with help, and all is going well! *snerk* The Dangerous L Word.

"After all, we had all the time in the world to talk." *twitches* I have a creeping Bad Feeling. Oh God, she's moving in, they're too happy. Something bad's going to -


Good chapter, bro.

Author's Response: I like to think that as time goes on, James becomes a better cook himself, especially when it comes to cake matters. We'll see whether or not this happens. And I'm pretty certain that one of the requirements of being a Weasley is to like food. Four square meals indeed.

We've already discussed this, but as I said before I'm RIDICULOUSLY relieved that this makes sense. Because it's been hinted at for a while, and the general consensus has been "but I don't think he will, and I don't want him to". But I always knew this was going to happen. James isn't good at being a public figure. And yes, as we will see in Derailed he'll be happy.

Freddie pulled through in the end, bless him. I adored the James/Brigid chat, they haven't had enough cute friendly moments. This must be rectified!

Oh, you and your Bad Feelings! You're supposed to say "oh that's cute, this is James saying they're going to be able to spend lots of time with each other etc. etc.", NOT "ONE OF THEM WILL DIE" level stuff. Tsk tsk. Cheers for the review!

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Review #39, by SlideOff the Rails: sixty-two

24th April 2014:
I grinned through the touching Weasley grandparents moments, and then was ridonkulously pleased at Louis showing up and goading James to drink more. Good Louis. Keep on being an awful influence. D'aww Brigid. I love her, too.

I feel for Vic. I think I can drink like I'm twenty, too. It's still lovely to see the Weasleys turning out like this for James - of course they do, and it's great to see the family behind him but also good to have these snippets of the MAHOOSIVE family (so many Weasleys. So. Many). Yesss, drinks in the World Cup. James is going to suffer in the morning.

Good that Freddie now has a path; nowt wrong with following in the family footsteps and now it's something he's BUILDING, not just helping out. Of course his parents are canny enough to figure that out for him, but it's troubled him for a while? Ryan's still a sweetheart, too. Except for them wanting bodily pain against the Lynches. Ahh well, it's only the Lynches.

A sweet moment between Harry and James. Ahh, James, legs. You know what you like. Good lad. Honest laughter at Carla's summary of what the rest of the team are up to.

Curses, a cliffhanger! This was a very sweet chapter. I see it getting a lot of the emotional ducks in a row.

Admittedly, I have a Bad Feeling About This but we'll see what goes on from here on out. :D

Good stuff!

Author's Response: Touching Weasley grandparent moment made me all gooey inside. Love them. Louis moment made me giggle. Told you he had another moment in this chapter. :)

I think I'm destined never to even have the drinking capacity of a 20 year old, unfortunately. It's a sad fact of life that I'll have to come to terms with at some point. Many many Weasleys, including a few (Teddy included) who I realised I'd rather neglected in recent chapters. I don't even feel as though I lose track of the Weasleys and yet I STILL forget some of James' key relatives.

It was nice to finally give Freddie something to feel good about. Shop manager is perfect for him, it's just a shame George and Angelina took so long to TELL him about it!

Harry/James moment made me squee. As they all do these days. The team is absolutely bladdered, as would you be if you'd just won the World Cup. ;)

This chapter was one of those "ticking off the boxes" chapters, and I now appreciate how hard it can be to write a chapter which ties up loose ends without it feeling like a methodical "and then this happened, and then that happened" sequence. But I think it worked out in the end. CLIFFHANGER, because I love them. I dislike your bad feeling! Don't worry, you'll like what happens in the end.

I hope.

Thanks for the review! :)

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Review #40, by SlideOff the Rails: sixty-one

8th April 2014:
I'm here. Let's rock and roll.

Ginny remains the best mother in the history of stuff. I love how she's stayed recognisably Ginny in this story while still, well, turning into Molly in her own way. I like to think that Freddie never confirmed one way or another about the family breakfast, just that Ginny got food on for him anyway, knowing he'd be there. Like a boss.

Oh, Ron. Never change. Never get caught by Hermione. It took me a moment to realise why Hugo wouldn't even notice the others weren't there, and then I remembered you mentioning his torrid romance with a Longbottom girl. Ha! And I love Louis. Perhaps most of all of the extended Weasley clan. Okay, that's a lie, but he's in the top five! I'm not sure I could write my own Louis now, I think yours would creep in too much as an influence.

The George and Percy box. Oh dear. That sounds like hell on wheels. At least Audrey would be there to keep the peace!

Mrph. Undignified noises in public places at Molly promising James she'll cheer for him. And aww, Albus, he's so right. This is a moment James will remember forever, one way or another, and he should at least RELISH it. Even if they lose, it'll be an experience.

Brigid! Good girl. Okay. I should be a little more coherent and probably not go through my reaction to everyone wishing James good luck but basically all the feels.

...what on Earth would the England mascots be?? I will laugh if you wrote mascots being banned because you couldn't think of it. Because I sure as hell can't think of any (magic. Bulldogs.).

Right. The match. *rolls up sleeves*

I thought it was really good. Admittedly I had to occasionally check back on my names for who was who in the Irish team, though I think that was only in confirming who was taken out by Cato's bludgers BUT I'm getting ahead of myself. You do a good job in establishing the build-up, especially by focusing on the microcosm of the situation that is Ryan and James. And then establishing the patter of the Chasers through a few set scenes before letting it carry on is fine, I didn't find that at all jarring.

I think making the Beaters exchange the main 'drama' of the match was good. The Lynches have been established in the past, we had the Bagmans' tricks against them last time they faced off; it made sense not just for them to be in the final, but for them to be the centrepoint of conflict. The only other option would have been things getting perhaps more fraught with James and Ryan, but that could have run the risk of being contrived.

And Ryan's a sweetheart, anyway, for helping stop Cato from beating the hell out of the Lynches. And Cato goes on to be a... agh, 12+. Bad Posterior. You know what I'm saying. :P Instantaneous takedown of two players at once is a nice trick (and we are of course not even sorry that Feargus broke his arm). That was the time I lost track of who was who, briefly, mind - I forgot Brianna was the Seeker and had to trawl back. I think that's the only time I lost the flow in this, and that's possibly my bad memory. Lots of names! Like I can judge!

The only change I would have suggested would have been adjusting the transition from 'game went on' to 'Seekers chase Snitch'. Perhaps some fraught Chaser-on-Chaser action (ha!) broken up by the Seekers flying straight THROUGH it to cause everyone to stop what they were doing and watching. But honestly, I'm only being so critique-ing because you were fussing over this match; I wouldn't have known you were struggling with it if you hadn't told me. It's a stonking good game and worthy of the final. If nothing else, the build-up made the atmosphere fine and the game played out well. I *like* that the match wasn't James Potter, Superstar - his most defining moments in the game are him being a great team player, working with the others and helping Cato and all that.

Way to go, Jess. That's the only time I've wanted to hop directly into someone else's POV for the story - for the match to come right down to Seeker vs Seeker and for her to win, basically winning the whole match, the whole World Cup, and she will likely be credited as The One Who Won It - that's got to be pretty amazing. Good on Michael for just handing her the cup to lift for the first time; that girl EARNED it. So, basically, I want more Jess now.

And I really like how it doesn't sink in at first! It wouldn't, by then they were very entrenched in the game just being like another game. Even if it did have the backdrop of size; my mental image really did have the background of this match being more like the Millennium Stadium, while the previous matches were more like... I don't know, Underhill Stadium. But I digress. It slowly sinking in, James getting the biggest cheer and it being PROBABLY for his name (as he did well, but it was a team effort and the players probably most deserving of individual cheers would be Jess and Cato) and still not CARING... Good boy. He's come far.

I'm not going to lie, I thought they would lose the match. I thought you were going to go all Rocky on us. But I'm PERFECTLY okay being wrong.

And Ha! at the serendipity of broken brooms.


Author's Response: Ginny's inherited Molly's nurturing nature, that's for sure. I can't HELP but write her that way, every time. But yes, still very much Ginny. And I think Freddie definitely turned up on a whim, and Ginny just KNEW he would.

Torrid Longbottom romance indeed! I didn't want to signpost that one because it's been mentioned before, albeit briefly, so I like that you picked that up. LOUIS, oh Louis. He steals the show EVERY TIME. He's in the next chapter, and you will love him there too. I should write him into more scenes, really...

Emotional family moments galore. They filled me with much squee to write. Especially the Molly moment.

I couldn't help but laugh at your mascot comment. Because you've absolutely hit the nail on the head, I spent a whole evening trying to find a cool mascot-worthy creature from England and when the best thing I could come up with was leprechauns riding crups around the pitch (cute imagery, but not really on the same level as Veela) I decided to cop out. So yes, you too may laugh.

I was a bit worried about throwing all the Irish names in because while they've been mentioned to differing extents before, it's been a while. Of course we know the Lynches, and the Chaser play let me throw their names in (and then I realised I'd given one of the Irish Chasers the same name as James' broom, I've never hated myself more) but that still leaves the Seeker and Keeper unaccounted for. I possibly could have made that clearer, I'll check that out in a mo.

As I was writing this match I thought "It's Bagmans v Lynches, this is NOT going to be a clean game". Like you say, it wouldn't have made sense, with all the bad blood between them. And it meant avoiding pitting James and Ryan against each other EVEN MORE, which I obviously didn't want to do, because that would just break my heart. Bad Posterior. I like. I worried for a moment about why you were calling Cato a 12+, THEN I REALISED. Not an insult but a compliment. And I breathed easy once more.

Ugh, I both like and hate that you've mentioned that transition, because that was the one I felt most uneasy about. In fact, that was my main concern about the whole match - that it was too clunky, and didn't quite flow. Cheers for the advice on that one, again I'll see if I can tweak it. But it's a massive relief to know the match was Final-worthy, because it was the most ridiculous pressure knowing people were so excited for this point and expected GOOD.

I admire your stadium metaphor.

I may well have had England lose the match - because let's face it, that's the biggest cliche I could have written and I hate doing that - but James HAD to win the Cup for him to do what he does next, so it would have totally ruined my future plans had he lost. He's NOT the superstar player though, because that really would have been horrendously cliched. That's why he got Player of the Match in the semi-final; I wanted him to shine, but it couldn't be in the Final.


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Review #41, by SlideOff the Rails: sixty

24th March 2014:
There was some sort of Quidditch World Cup lore I missed? Blast, I'm always missing JK's lore reveals (and then rampantly ignoring some of what she says, HO HUM).

Yay, Bagmans! Bagmen? Cleo and Cato, anyway. Hm. I know you have plans for Cato, so I anticipate something of a time jump before our next story unless it IS ADVENTURES IN AUSTRALIA which I'm not gonna lie, I'd be totally on board for. But it's sensible for them to split up, anyway - I can see Beaters developing that kind of co-dependent professional relationship which could go a bit Pete Tong if something happened to one of them.

Ha. Harry tells good stories, Ron tells ACCURATE stories.

Ah, James. You might have changed, but your past will still catch up with you on occasion. And I feel sorry for you. But it's also hi-LAR-ious. I'd also call him dim for not wondering if Ireland and England would clash, but I suppose if he did the maths anyway it would have only been possible for them to come head-to-head in the Final due to groupings, and no way was he going to contemplate England making it that far. Or, rather, worrying about the Final is, "God, will we get to the Final?" not, "Oh, God, will I have to play Ireland?" Poor Brigid. Her life is successful and yet so AWKWARD at times. I think she's doing the right thing by going to ground for a wee bit. There's no right answer.

Yay Maddie and Lily time! Maddie, you're so super-subtle, asking about travel plans (AS EVER I agree with you about magical transport. ASTONISHINGLY). Ooh-eer, letters to Cato, hmm? How old-fashioned and positively sweet of you. I demand to have more! James, start paying attention to your sister's housemate's love life more! EVen if that makes you a little weird! Dang POV characters.

Ooh, seeding stuff on Muggle STUFF. I do love the Muggle-Magical interactions as a notion, it's one part of the wizarding world I haven't played around with nor am I in a situation to do so, but it's INTERESTING. Stop encouraging the teapots, Maddie, though if you must, at least they're learning the classics.

Lily is once again in a pickle. I suppose there's not too much reason to tell friends she's had no reason to tell for all this time, but it's still an unpleasant obstacle. There really is no right answer, especially as the idea of, if it goes wrong, having to send in people to WIPE YOUR FRIENDS' MEMORIES is deeply unpleasant. On top of how you have to remember how they reacted really badly to that important thing about you, and can't act on it. At least Lily could avoid the guy who reacted poorly, and steer clear of him.

Of course James plays. I wonder if we'll hear more from McLaggen before the end? I doubt anything major but I wouldn't be surprised if he tries to pull something in a fit of pique-ish vengeance. It'll be interesting to see James vs Ryan! I somehow doubt it's going to be as much a game of the teams just containing each other and letting the Seekers handle it as they're making out.

D'aww, affection from Dad. And the complicated question of the Top Box seats. Harry is probably right. If nothing else, it could stick Brigid in an awkward spot to have her team win or lose without some backup either way!

Sixty chapters. Boom! I look forward to the remainder. It's been a rollicking ride.

Also I've been INSPIRED to do one of dem forum page things which I meant to do ages and it's thus your fault.

Good chapter, bro! Roll on the final!

Author's Response: Yes, much lore was released on Pottermore. Which totally tramples over most of what I've written. Never mind!

I do indeed have plans for Cato. They are not the Adventures in Australia, however that is one of the separate side-projects I have bubbling away in my mind. I doubt it will emerge as much more than a cutesy little short story, if anything, but I do have fun imagining how things go for him. The Plan is more exciting than that (I hope), and is part of the bigger picture within Derailed.

I knew you'd love the Maddie. Letters. Bless her. FUNNILY ENOUGH this is very much linked to my Cato project (or alternatively IS what I have planned for him) so if you get one, you get the other. And even if I don't get round to properly writing anything there will still be enough of them in Derailed to keep you satisfied. I hope.

One thing which throwing Squib!Lily and Carlotta into Rails has allowed me to do is go crazy on Muggle/Wizarding relations. It's fun! And unbelievably fascinating. There are so many different facets which never really crossed my mind until I undertook this fic. Yet again a promise that more of that is to come in Derailed. Stay tuned!

Let's face it, Lily's stuck between a rock and a hard place. This is yet ANOTHER side-project I can expand on if I find the time, but when Lily told Maddie and Kit she would have been petrified that they'd react badly. And Kit DID at first. So of course there's that worry of - will other people be okay with this or will they react badly? And the Obliviation came shortly afterwards, which of course put Lily off telling anyone anything EVER. But the more time that passes without Lily telling her other friends, the more hurt and angry they're likely to be if ever she DOES tell them. It's rotten.

Harry/James reduces me to a pile of mush EVERY TIME. I love them. Absolutely love 'em. Cheers for the review bro!

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Review #42, by SlideOff the Rails: fifty-nine

4th March 2014:
I had a review in progress while I read this for the first time. And then I closed the window. SLIDE IS SMART.

I like the touch of how James' inexperience is now no longer as big a deal, if only because the rest of England are as out of their depth as he is. More or less. I like seeing Michael do more - Demelza's good, but she comes across as rattled, despite expressing her belief in the team. Michael backing that up is good to see.

On the one hand, it would have been nice to see a semi-final game. On the other, I agree and appreciate that there are only so many times you can depict a Quidditch game, most of the tricks have been pulled out, and skipping the semi-final in order to keep more vim and vigour for the final is a perfectly sound idea. We have had a LOT of matches this story, and one could fuss about, 'Oh, maybe there should have been fewer matches earlier,' or the like, but A: I'm not sure that's true, and B: If only we could all edit the hell out of our serialised stories once they were done. Sigh. I think it was a good build-up to the gaining of confidence, bringing everything down to a more micro-level of James wigging, then getting his bearings, which was all we really needed to know. Adversity happened and was overcome.

I had the sense, while reading, that I'd lost track of Ireland and, oh my, what if the final winds up being England vs Ireland. My drama sense tingled most accurately.

Della is adorable. Good chapter! I promise a better review next time as I will not DESTROY my work before posting it.

Author's Response: So many times. SO MANY TIMES I have done this too, and lost a magnificent review in the making. And the thought of having to type it all out again is so painful that I run away from the chapter for about a week or more. Luckily, my most common mishap is pressing the back button, and if Chrome is being clever it saves my masterpiece for me. Shutting the window is just curtains though.

In all of James' worry that he's in new territory, he's forgotten that with every step they take through this competition, more and more of them are finding themselves in his situation. This is that moment of realisation - and actually, I imagine it's a comforting thought in one sense, that he's not the only one wading into the unknown. Demelza's in a similar position herself! Hence why she's more rattled - she's been charged with getting some serious results from an England team, and the closer they get to the end the more nervewracking it gets.

Oh yes, the semi-final debate. This chapter gave me a huge headache because the last thing I wanted to do was write another Quidditch match. I knew the Dreaded Final was looming, and the thought of having to write the semi-final out as well was putting me off getting this chapter done. So in the end, I made the call to skip it. Yes, it would have been nice to see, but on the whole I think I've spoiled you guys with matches, so hopefully this one's omission isn't too disappointing. The final will definitely have much more focus - it has a whole chapter to itself, naturally, and it's a whopper. I've written it. It probably needs a lot of editing. But the first few painful steps are done.

You called an Ireland v England final a chapter or so back, so you clearly hadn't completely lost track of them! Drama indeed. Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #43, by SlideOff the Rails: fifty-eight

30th January 2014:
Ha! Insightful Carla is insightful.

Curious about the whole Wizarding TV thing. I mean, it's not that outrageous considering the wizarding wireless exists, and it's bizarre how somehow magic can be LESS effective than technology (no mobile instantaneous communication devices, guys?), so I can see it happening eventually. I like to think it's a product of the war reducing the anti-Muggle backlash.

Yes international travel SHOULD be complex. Okay, so today I'm focusing on world building over characters and plot, APPARENTLY. Actually, scratch that, D'AWW Ryan and Della. Ryan. You are a sillyhead. A great big sillyhead. James gives good advice!

Oddly I think Ryan's not wrong to wait until after the World Cup. He's tense but he could wind up HEARTBROKEN, and so being professional is rather necessary.

Bwahaha, Cleo. And smart George and Angelina - everyone wants the final! I still want to see more of your Rose and Scorpius, unsurprisingly. Attagirl, being lured in by the Top Box.

Flee, James. FLEE the conversation. And - yes, eavesdrop, good boy. Laughed at the use of the Extendable Ear. Be dogged, Brigid. Then again, if he refuses to be loved, you can't force it! Give it a good try, your best shot, and then if he is intent on remaining a plonker, move on! Let us hope he does not remain a plonker, though.

Good stuff!

Author's Response: I should really be better at answering reviews.

The TV thing ... it's something I wasn't overly keen on doing, at first. I don't like stories where all of a sudden, Muggle stuff works in the wizarding world. But at the same time, the wizarding world clearly adapted wirelesses to work for them, so I don't see any reason why they couldn't eventually hop on the television bandwagon. They're not about to start producing films and whatnot though, it's just broadcasting news and Quidditch. And it probably wouldn't work at Hogwarts, because it's still a Muggle device, unlike with the wizarding wireless where they seem to have created their own version of a Muggle device.

Phones, of course, both landline and mobile, are still a completely Muggle device which witches and wizards are just becoming more willing to use as Muggle society infiltrates wizarding society more and more. And they CERTAINLY wouldn't work at Hogwarts.

I still like the thought of long-distance travel by Floo, with many pit-stops at pubs. Don't worry, I love hypothesising over this sort of stuff, so I am ALL OVER this kind of review.

Rose and Scorpius' storyline in Derailed ought to please you. Although I need to flesh things out a bit, the plot is still the bare bones. But that story is one of the main reasons I put them together, along with the scene earlier in this fic where Carlotta finds out about Muggle persecution. Maybe if you're lucky I'll feature them in a couple of chapters' time :)

Well James WOULD eavesdrop, wouldn't he? Freddie is being a bit of a plonker. Whether he remains so, is for me to know and you to find out ;) Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #44, by SlideOff the Rails: fifty-seven

18th January 2014:
James has the best friends, family, and girlfriend ever. Not that it's unreasonable for them to be afraid he'd have some sort of stress-induced relapse, or simply suffer from the stress from being centre-stage in a global sporting tournament.

Oh my God so many Weasleys. I wasn't writing Ignite when I started reviewing this. I didn't understand your pain. THERE'S SO MANY OF THEM. SO, SO MANY. Yay, Louis! I particularly like that Brigid is perking up even if the situation with Freddie isn't fixed - sure, he's a source of her upset, but she's capable of sorting her life out without her man! Good on her!

Even if it is just a distraction!

I like to think Cordelia's happy, too. I get like that when I chase the cat. I like to think it's a fun chase-game. If not, I'm regularly traumatising a small animal. So I will hope Cordelia is also happy.

Brigid. You're a smart girl and a good friend! And I do love the Bagmans.

I enjoyed the Germany-Peru match! Not filler at all; I think it's an important set-up of the stakes, and an interesting display of the different mentalities. James might be a professional player but this is absolutely a winner-takes-all endeavour, and expectations are vicious and there.

Demelza is putting the fear of God in them, I see. If ever there was a time, it's when you don't want them complacent, but not when the odds are so long that they might break from pressure. There's reason to be confident to off-set the nerves.

And, good stuff! We didn't need another blow-by-blow account of the match - we've had several and when we have at LEAST one more high-stakes game ahead of us (prediction: England will make it to the Final, and lose), we don't need Yet More Quidditch. I think the plot's moving along perfectly fine, to be honest; this one is a transition piece, but we're building up for our Epic Crescendo; the pieces need to be put in place!

I know how annoying such parts of the story are to write, and it's coming fine. Good stuff!

Author's Response: I do love writing the Weasleys, especially when they're being a cute, supportive family network. But YES, so many of them! Ha, love your soft spot for Louis.

I definitely agree with you re chasing cats. And I'd like to think Cordelia is happy too, or my main character is guilty of some serious animal cruelty, and I don't think I'm comfortable with that.

See, I liked writing the Germany-Peru match, mainly because I didn't actually have to write the match itself. This is the problem with James' matches; how often can I get away with NOT writing the match in detail? ARGH. Never write Quidditch.

I like your prediction there.

Cheers for the feedback, it really is reassuring to know things aren't floundering. I suppose it feels that way because my progress has been slow, which makes the fic feel slow. HOWEVER, I am reassured that things are okay. Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #45, by SlideOff the Rails: fifty-six

8th November 2013:

Yay, it's the multi-day match! This pleases me for silly, nerdy reasons. Oh, James, you sweetheart staying near to home. I'm so glad he's being sensible about it and doing it for good reasons, instead of feeling obligated or restrained - which would be fair! But he's not repressing, he's just being sensible.

Poor Stefan. :(

I wondered when the instructor job would pop back up again as a plot point. It's curious, I'm not sure what you're driving at for it. James won't leave the Falcons... I don't think!!! Oh, God, unless something horrid happens... Okay, this is the definition of pointless fussing. *reads on*

Well, let's hope England hosting this World Cup goes better than it did last time!

Of course James plays. McLaggen is an idiot. But this explosion should be good. And it doesn't disappoint. It's also good to see James' ambition and pride come in - he's so calm in how he handles his professional stuff these days, which is great growth, but the guy's allowed to be smug about slapping down a rival and proving himself!

Good stuff.

Author's Response: SO AM I.

Multi-day match time! This is where the whole substitution thing confused me - because why should there be subs NOW, and yet not when Lynch got wiped out? I guess I fell into that pitfall because JK did; when Harry had to drop out of matches half-way through, he couldn't be replaced, and yet there's also talk of subs taking over in long matches. Maybe that's the rule? Maybe the subs are there in the event of a long match, to replace EVERYONE, but you can't have one-off bench-style subs? Yeah, that's the line I'm taking on this one.

James knows he's young, and has more than enough time to go abroad if he wants to. The next World Cup won't be for another four years, he doesn't need to start thinking about developing his game RIGHT NOW. Although if I were him I'd be jetting off somewhere exotic thank you very much. Alas, this is one moment where I cannot project myself upon him.

Oh, the instructor job. Basically, James loses his arm in the next England match, and is told it can't be grown back and he can never play again ... ;) All jokes aside, I'm still ridiculously excited about my plan for that. You'll have to wait to see what happens! :)

Well England knocked Transylvania out in qualifying so things are already shaping up better for them than last time round. Was it Transylvania they lost to? Or Luxembourg? One of the Home Nations lost to Luxembourg but I can't for the life of me remember which way round it goes now. EITHER WAY things are already promising.

James plays. Happy days! Thanks for reviewing :)

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Review #46, by SlideOff the Rails: fifty-five

21st October 2013:
Oof, I read this while ILL and a review wasn't quite something I was capable of putting together coherently. So I return, and write!

Poor James. Can't win. He deals with it like a champ, of course, but it would be hard moving away from control, and of course it's different to how it is for the Falcons (not just because he's a Falcons regular), it's England in the World Cup!

Aw, he remembers Brigid's birthday on his own. Sweetheart. UGH writing characters giving presents. I hate it. I'm bad enough thinking up what I should give people, let alone what my fictional people should give one another. But he's a good friend, and it's nice to see him proving it more and more after his little breakdown.

And of course he reaches the conclusion we anticipated: that James is a better option than McLaggan. Which, while evident, is obviously JUICY because of all the DRAMA this is going to inevitably cause when he's the one signed up for the big matches. Of course James considers other options, being James, but it's clear this is going to go.

I can see why this chapter was tough - it's a transition piece, moving through events and matches which need to be addressed but not in minute detail, and how to sweep across them is tough. It's well-done, though, with the key or fun conversations with Maddie and Brigid to round them out, and honestly if I hadn't known you were beating it with a hammer I wouldn't have known; it feels like transition, yes, but effortless. So, good stuff!

Author's Response: Should probably answer these reviews. Actually, that's a lie, I should be REVISING, but I am gifted at finding all sorts of forms of procrastination. This is one of those.

Although I can't remember what I'm actually replying to. This is why such a chapter title format fails on all levels.

Bleurgh, PRESENTS. I don't know why I insert present exchanges into my fics, I struggle every time to work out what said present should be. THIS will be the last time. (She says...)

I love writing James when he's trying not to get his hopes up. Bless him. There will be drama of some sorts; certainly McLaggen won't be happy with this turn of events!

Ungh. Beating the whole of this sub-plot with a hammer right now. All of the woes! Thanks for reviewing all those eons ago :)

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Review #47, by SlideOff the Rails: fifty-four

7th October 2013:
Yay, Lily! Yay world exposition and magical history and geography! Happy day! Tobias agrees with Lily. Like, loads. History is important! Poor, silly Binns. I can't help but wonder if JK has either an aversion to history or had some terrible teachers she was lampooning.

Ooh, you mentioned dropping the name Thaddeus. It is a good name! And I approve of squibs being tutors - I mean, seriously, it does seem like a good line of work for them, especially if they have acclimatised somewhat to the Muggle way of life. There would indeed be pros to straddling both worlds.

Squib rights. I smell future plot.

Demelza's a smart cookie. And of course everyone but McLaggen has either humility or sense or both. Something horrid's going to happen to that guy but I suspect not yet.

Ha, poor James, can't rely on Brigid to organise his life when it comes to... Brigid. Freddie better do something nice. He'll either do something amazing or something awful (my predictions are great, yo). Poor, poor Brigid. I mean, poor Freddie, too, but my sympathy's with her. Maybe it's just being an emotional female which does it!

Hmm. It's all going well in Quidditch. I anticipate James won't play in the Canada game, but something's got to go wrong soon. Or wrong-ness must be dangled. HMM.

Good stuff, though!

Author's Response: I had far too much fun writing about Lily going off on one on history teachings. My nerdness coming out in full there. ;) YES, this is the Thaddeus mention! You have no idea how long I spent trying to work out who was called Thaddeus. Poor Stubbs. Certainly if you're going to try straddling both worlds as a Squib, a tutor is one of the best professions, though I'm not sure my Thaddeus is some kind of secret agent/personal trainer/epic spy figure on the side. But then if he was, we wouldn't know about it, would we?

Keep the Squib right plan in mind. Can't promise how important it will be in Derailed but it will appear in some context.

It's definitely not a bad thing for your sympathies to lie with Brigid! I've been very cruel to her, and yet she's soldiered on, bless her. Although now you're just reminding me that I have more Freddie/Brigid stuff to write. And more Quidditch too. BLEURGH. We'll just end things here, shall we? AND EVERYONE LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER. Cheers for the review :)

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Review #48, by SlideOff the Rails: fifty-three

27th September 2013:
Boo, last one. But yay, all caught up! What has it BEEN about this summer where we've all just fallen over?

It'd be interesting to properly see a several-day match. There'd be a whole slew of new tactics about it! And just all the love for James in all of this. He's such a good-natured soul, first about fitting into the team, then about getting the chance to play, and then with the kids! Such a softie.

And again we see now how good he is with other players coming around as Emily helps him out in-turn. It's nice, this, the touches on what makes a good sportsman in the bigger picture than just playing the game, and while we've seen James mostly be the big man with the Falcons, an old hand - despite his trip-ups - it's good to see him as the neonate with England, taken under the wing of others. And being James, he'll be smart and learn more than just Quidditch tips from them!

And he does well! Of course our James does well. But the real trials are to come!

Now I get to kick back and enjoy the chapters as they come. And they'd better be coming! I think we both owe each other ninjas at this rate. Good work!

Author's Response: To be fair, I anticipated things grinding to a halt this summer. I was barely in the COUNTRY, let alone in my own house. I thought I might have enough time to pop out a couple of chapters or leave a couple of reviews here and there but, alas, that didn't arise. Although it turns out I finished this chapter way back in April when I last wrote something, and it was just sitting there waiting to be posted, and I completely forgot about it. Still, at least it means I had something to throw up as soon as I could, because I'm a bit stuck on the next chapter. SIGH.

There is a 48-hour plus match coming up, but it doesn't involve James and it doesn't get a huge amount of tactical focus. That's where my whole substitution thing gets interesting/inconsistent. Cheers for the reviews, it's been good for me to refresh my memory on these latest chapters, particularly the Quidditchy ones, because it's given me some ideas on how to resolve my stuckness. Hopefully I should get the ball rolling again this week!

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Review #49, by SlideOff the Rails: fifty-two

27th September 2013:
I have no idea if fish goes with pumpkin or not. I think I've eaten pumpkin only once in my life. It was in a soup. With cheese. Served INSIDE the pumpkin. I know, right? It was delicious. Its preparation also had nothing to do with me!!

Makes lots of sense to use the actual extant Quidditch grounds. That said, also makes sense that most of the grounds wouldn't have the capacity for truly world-wide games. Not that they do in the real world but if you could magically make a temporary stand with the ginormous capacity...

Yay he's in! Of course he's in. But he's really earned it, and Demelza's right, he doesn't view it as something which belongs to him which means he'll value it more.

And yes, James, beat that McLaggan. I see the apple does not fall far from the tree...

Author's Response: I did search for fish/pumpkin recipes and I came across a couple! I wouldn't want to try it, though. I think I might have had pumpkin soup once before. Sounds life-changing with a cheesy interior! I may have to suggest that one to Carlotta.

James is in. He earned it fair and square. McLaggen is a carbon copy of his father, which shan't go unpunished. Cheers for reviewing!

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Review #50, by SlideOff the Rails: fifty-one

27th September 2013:
James has prospects! Squee. Go properly abroad, James, you'll know it's worth it. Yay, discourse on international travel! I agree, unsurprisingly, on it not being instantaneous to just travel the globe. The whole thing of Portkeys being controlled, monitored, regulated makes sense - and I like Floo-hopping! That adds a nice kind of feel to the travel, stopping off in a pub for a pint mid-trip. And then you spoil me with MORE lorecrafting, now with the relations with the Muggle world. Good stuff.

Loving the little details of moving out of Lily's school. But, of course, I'll be over here in a corner, waving my little flag for Maddie and Cato. James has inherited his father's powers of observation at times. And of course Lily knows better than to harangue James with his England chances!


Author's Response: Can you imagine? Someone embarks on a trip from Britain to, say, Russia, through the Floo network, stopping for a pint at each pub on the way, getting steadily drunker as they go on ... you know, that sounds like a very Dimitri thing to do...

The discussion about wizarding/Muggle relations and the Prime Minister is VERY much setting the scene for the sequel, so if you think that was spoiling you, you'll be in heaven when Derailed comes about. I HOPE.

No need for a Maddie/Cato corner ... what do you think my hypothetical Maddie spin-off would be about? ;) Cheers for review yo.

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