Reading Reviews From Member: doratonks14
  
73 Reviews Found

Review #1, by doratonks14Caprice: Unexpected Possibility

4th June 2010:
Hey there, doratonks14 here from the forums again! :D

So erm, shall we just say that I like your stories? Yes, I think we shall. Because I do. Lots. :D

I'm just going to dive on into what you asked me to look at, since that's what I would want to talk about anyways.

Characterization - I thought you did really well writing from an eleven year old's perspective. I've tried to write as an eleven year old before, and as a 17 year old, I find it really hard. (Mind, I dunno how old you are, but yeah, ignore this. I'm rambling). So kudos on that. I think Caprice is really cute, and really innocent, and quite observant and I like her. Can't wait to see what she'll be like when she's older. Oh, and I think Agatha is a witch. In a good way. Like actual magical witch. Just saying. :P

Plot - Well, its only been two chapters, so I dunno how much I can comment on it, but I like where this is going so far. Again, I think this story has great potential and I find it absolutely AWESOME that she lives across the street from Sirius. I like the possibilities of where this could go, and I also like that she doesn't know she's a witch yet. Fun stuff.

And so that I don't sound like a complete squeeing fangirl, I'll give you a little constructive criticism. Again, I think that the paragraph spacing made this a little hard to read in some spots, so maybe fix that up. But again, I nit-pick. The only other thing I could think to comment on would be the fact that in the first chapter Caprice sees No. 13 (I think) but then in this chapter Sirius vanishes. Or maybe its supposed to be like that. I dunno, but regardless, I was a bit confused. :P

Overall, I loved it. I'm gonna add this to my favorites again, so you can expect regular reviews on it from me throughout the rest of the chapters and at updates. :) Though please, do feel free to drop by my review thread again with other stories! :D

10/10

Author's Response: Hey again!
I'm so thrilled that you like my stories! Yay! I will work on the grammar and paragraph spacing when I get time to go over the writing in detail! Thanks for the suggestion! and I totally love the fangirl stuff lol makes me feel like a rockstar! haha LOL!
I'm really glad you like the story and yay! one more favourite! :D You made my day!
Thank you SO much for reviewing! I'll definitely be back for more!xx


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Review #2, by doratonks14Worthy: An Ugly Ring

4th June 2010:
Hey there, doratonks14 from the forums here with your requested review! :) I'm a little bit confused though, cause in your review request, you said there was 1 chapter (this one, judging by word count) but there are two here. I've taken that to mean that you just want this one reviewed. If I'm completely wrong though, feel free to kick me and then come back to my review thread and rerequest again! :P

So, I've never actually read Draco/Astoria as a main pairing before, so I don't really know what I was expecting, but I liked it. I'm not sure if they really love each other, but there's something there, and I liked it. I loved the description of his first proposal in the bookstore - what can I say, I'm a sap and it was sweet. :)

Character believability - I thought both Draco and Astoria were very believable characters. I can very much see those two being bored with their lives and also coming together out of boredom, so that was great. Obviously, its on the first chapter so I can't really talk about character development, but I did honestly think that these two seem believable - especially Draco and some of his internal ponderings like wondering what it would be like to be crushed beneath the manor house or about the pillow-wearing house elf. It makes him seem more human, more alive. So good job there. :)

Flow - I thought the flow of this story worked very well - I love it when people start one way and work backwards because I'm always intrigued and want to keep reading and it was the same here. The only thing I thought disrupted the flow a bit was the description. Its beautiful and very well written, but in some places there is just too much of it. I found myself skimming some of those parts and I'm not really a skimmer. So yeah, I suppose my suggestion might be to cut down on a little bit of that. :)

Overall, I really liked this so far, and I think it has alot of potential. I'm intrigued by Draco and Astoria's relationship - I don't know whether to pity them or root for them sometimes - and wonder what's going to happen to them.

Thanks for stopping by my review thread, and again sorry if I got confused. Excellent story, and please feel free to drop by again! :)

Author's Response: No worries, when I requested this review there was only one chapter ;)

I've been hearing a lot from my reviewers that Astoria and Draco aren't used much as a romantic pair. I can't imagine why, there's so much creative room there, but I'm kind of excited to be blazing a trail, as it were ;) And you're right, that bookstore scene was written for the pure simple reason that I'm a sap at heart as well, and darnit, this is a love story! Though it will be interesting to watch their love develop. You're right, they don't exactly love each other, but they still need each other. I'm glad to report as I continue to write, their romance gets better and better ;)

I'm thrilled to know that my flow and characterization is working for you. I worry, writing with such well known characters that perhaps my more creative take will rock the canon boat too much, but so far so good. And the flow has required some careful thought, but its all worth it. The work is coming along wonderfully!

Thanks again for yummy review, I appreciate it!

BB


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Review #3, by doratonks14Being Black: One

3rd June 2010:
Hey there, doratonks14 from the forums here with your requested review! :D

Mmkay, so I dunno if there is gonna be anything constructive in this, or if its all just gonna be fangirl squeeing, because honestly, I LOVED this! I'm a HUGE Black sisters fan, so you have NO IDEA how excited I was to read this. And it didn't disappoint.

Characterization - What? Why are you even worried about this?! It's flawless. Narcissa is beautifully written - her naive thoughts on blood and power, her being supposedly sweet and innocent, and her burning passion to outdo her sisters - bah, its all wonderful. Like crazy good. This is exactly how I would picture Narcissa. And Andromeda was perfectly done too. Smart, put-together, responsible, and still loving and understanding. Her leaving scene was perfect. So realistic. That's the word for it - all your characters are realistic. I luff it.

Plot - So far, fantastic. Its only two chapters so far, but from what I can tell already, I think this story has the potential to be absolutely awesome! Do not even worry about that.

Fave quote: "One down. One to go."

I got chills. Like literally. So vindictive and so Narcissa. Excellent. Just excellent.

Because I wanna be a little constructive and not just seem like some ridiculous squeeing teenage girl, the only thing I could think to improve on would be your paragraph spacing a little bit. Sometimes they run together, and it makes it hard to read, but that is just me being SUPER nit-picky. So feel free to ignore that if you so choose. :P

Again, in case you can't tell, I loved it!! Thank you so much for stopping by my thread - I'm adding this to my favorites, so you can expect regular reviews from me on this. Though do feel free to poke me with other stories whenever you'd like. :D 10/10

Author's Response: Hey Doratonks! I officially love you for being such an awesome reviewer!
Love. love. love your review!:)
I'm so extremely glad you liked the story and the characters and everything! I'm beyond glad I'm ecstatic! lol

Ahh yes I will work on the paragraphing! thanks a lot hun :) I'll definitely let you know when the 3rd chappie is out. I wouldn't wanna miss out on your reviews! So sorry for the late reply I was away from this site for months cos I had a few projects and exams to finish! :) thanks again fro reading my stories :) xx


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Review #4, by doratonks14Close To Crazy: Close To Crazy

1st June 2010:
Hey there, here from the forums with your requested review! :)

So first, I'm a huge Rose fan. :D Just had to put that out there, cause I do love Rose lots. And she was so funny in this. I can understand her hatred of Christmas - I have a huge family too, so holidays are always bad, but Christmas is particularly bad for me because it actually *is* my birthday too. :P So it always gets lost in the festivities. But enough about me, this is your story, and though I could ramble pointlessly forever, I don't think you'd like that.

Characterization, I thought this was really well done. Rose was funny - I laughed out loud at her list of reasons why she hates Dom and then this line: "Relax Rose, like mum always said; joy does not come from looks, power and financial gain or inheritance, it comes from the pursuit of attainable goals (AKA getting one over on Dom). " had me cracking up so much. Dunno why, just so honest and great. I really liked your characterization of Rose, and Lily was great too. Her calling James frog spawn cracked me up too.

Things to improve on - well honestly, the only thing I can think of would be to make it more clear who is speaking sometimes, especially at the beginning, right when they get to the family gathering. I was lost there for a while, and had to go back and reread the dialogue section a couple of times before I got it. But its also early in the morning, and I'm dangerously low on coffee, so maybe I'm just not thinking all that clearly. The only other thing I can think of improving on might be the whole part with the pensieve where she got the gift. It just seems sort of sudden - maybe lead up to it a little more. I dunno, like I said, I need some more coffee.

Overall, this was really funny and really great and I really enjoyed it! Thanks for stopping by my review thread, please feel free to drop by again anytime! :)

Author's Response: Hi :D
Oh wow, your birthday is on Christmas? You must get loads of presents.
I'm glad that you like Rose's characterization. She was so hard to write, so it's nice to see that my work payed off.
I totally get what you mean about it being difficult to understand what the characters are saying sometimes, I'll definitley look into changing that when I get around to editing this.
Thankyou for the review and the advice, I'll definitley take it into account.
Jane_Volturi


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Review #5, by doratonks14Nothing Personal : Break Your Little Heart

31st May 2010:
Hey there, doratonks14 from the forums here!

This. Was. Awesome! Like seriously, I am such a sucker for Next-Gen and such a sucker for Albus/OC, but this was just so great. I cannot believe you don't have any reviews yet, because I was cracking up the whole way through. If you don't turn this into a novel, I'm going to be really, really sad, because I wanna know what's gonna happen next.

Okay, enough fangirl squeeing, more actual review stuffs. Since you asked me if this was confusing all I have to say is that no, it really wasn't confusing at all. It was hilarious and the dates made it easy to follow and I was hooked the entire way through. Obviously, there was some stuff that I don't understand yet, which is why I think that you *need* to write the novel because I wanna understand. But nope, I didn't think it was confusing at all.

You really know how to draw a person in. The first little blurb before the stars - 7th year, three weeks before graduation bit - was such a good hook into the story. Especially the part where you listed it - Fought too much. Drank too much. Thought too little. That was so great, because I could totally empathize with it and because it makes it more real. Both Albus and June feel like real people, which is rare these days and I love it.

Because I'm nit-picky and want to give you some sort of constructive criticism, I'm gonna just suggest that you look this over a bit more carefully before you post it, because there were a few typos in there that weren't really distracting, but the rest of your writing was so good, you don't want anything else to detract from it. :D

You are a phenomenal writer. I laughed pretty much all through this, except for the end bit, which was sad. But still, this was awesome and I hope you do write that novel, because I'd read it in a heartbeat. Please, feel free to drop by my review thread again anytime! 10/10

Author's Response: Thanks you so much (: This review made me smile! I'm glad you liked it! Yay, not confusing, so mission accomplished!

I'm working on the next couple chapters, so hopfully I'll be able to start posting them in mid-summer! I'm glad to know you like it and when they are up I will definetly come back to your thread :D

Oh and yeah, I did notice I had quite a few typos. Mostly silly stuff. I was just rushing to get it in the queue so I could enter it in a challenge that I didn't do proper editing.

Thanks so so much!
-ronsgirl29


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Review #6, by doratonks14The Unbreakable Vow: Chapter One: The Vow

31st May 2010:
Hey there! doratonks14 from the forums here with your requested review! :) Since you had a lot of specific questions, I'm just gonna focus on those, since they pretty much cover everything I would have said in the first place.

OC - I like Peyton! I think my favorite thing was her sending Conan in to wash his hands before making The Unbreakable Vow. Or her realization that even in death she maintained her dry humor. I think that makes her more real and very likable. As a narrator, she is great, but sometimes its a little disconcerting to realize that she's sorta talking to the reader. I know that its hard to write from the perspective of a 9 year old if you're not nine though, and I thought that you did a good job with it.

Is the story interesting? - I think that the premise for this story is very interesting, especially the idea of him becoming the next Dark Lord, as per your summary. Already, you've set Conan up to be obsessive about magic and that last line in this chapter was slightly eerie and chilling. I'm not that far into it yet, but I think you have a lot to work with here, and I'm definitely intrigued.

Next-gen kids - Well, we've only met Teddy so far, though I did chuckle a few times at all of his hair/eye changes. The only thing I found slightly unrealistic was how easily he agreed to perform the Unbreakable Vow for two nine year olds though. I would have thought that he would have been a little bit more cautious - though maybe that's just the Tonks in him. Still, for the purpose of this story it works and I'm glad he had the sense at least to try to give them something that would never be a problem. :)

Humorous - Yeah, I got a few good laughs out of this. Like I said, I nearly died laughing when Peyton sent Conan back in to wash his hands. Though that is probably because I'm a mysophobe and could see myself doing that. Still, the dry humor is really well worked in and I liked it alot. Even when she was dying last chapter she was funny, and I thought it was VERY realistic about how she was feeling all of that stuff. Sort of an out of body experience. Very well done.

Overall, generally I have a hard time with OC centric works, but this isn't hard for me to follow and I liked it. Grammar wise it was excellent too, which is always nice. Feel free to drop by my thread again and request another two chapters when I have a slot open. :)

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Review #7, by doratonks14Rosewood: Prologue

31st May 2010:
Hey there! Obviously, this is doratonks14 from the forums here with your review.

First of all, I just want to say that the imagery in here was incredible. I liked the way you set the scene at the beginning and when you were talking about their hands I held my breath. Especially the part about their fingers slipping between each others. Really, really beautiful.

Grammar-wise, I'm going to get a little nit-picky, but only because my English teacher would kill me if I didn't. You used a lot of semi-colons in here and in the first paragraph especially, they should pretty much all be replaced by commas. Semi-colons should only be used to separate two complete thoughts - it would have to be a sentence on both sides. Its not really distracting, and again I'm probably being nit-picky, but if you want it to be correct grammar wise, I'd change them to commas.

Overall, a very wonderful piece. It was short, but lovely, and I really want to know what happens to the couple, even though its an epilogue. Thanks for dropping by my review thread - feel free to drop by again whenever!

9/10

Author's Response: I don't know how i missed it, but ended up calling it the epilogue when it was the prologue. goes to show my mind was on a different story at the time! XD

Thank you for reviewing! I did ask for grammar help as I'm terrible with comma's and semi-colons sometimes. I'll take what you've said and give it a fix. Thank you again! :)


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Review #8, by doratonks14You're a Star: Prologue: Lily Luna Potter, Future Quidditch Star

27th February 2010:
Oh my goodness!

This was amazing! Great job with your challenge, you did this perfectly! Lily was hysterical, going on about being the greatest Quidditch player ever and about how big of a git he was. Honestly, if I hadn't given you the challenge and known that you didn't do humor often, I wouldn't have known it. This was truly awesome.

The only thing is, when you tried to italicize, you still have the coding around the words. I think you're supposed to use the brackets like this [] to italicize. But I might be wrong so don't quote me on that. That's just me being picky though. It didn't detract from the story, I just thought you might want to know cause it looked a little weird.

Honestly, this was brilliant. After reading your A/N, I'm so excited that you're going to write a short story after this as well, because this was really really good. I'll be sure to check back later for it.

Congrats on rocking this challenge! I hope you had fun with it. :D 10/10 Thank you so so much for participating.

Author's Response: Gosh, thank you! I loved writing Lily, she was so awful but so much fun. Eleven-year-olds are pretty much the best things to write ever, I think.

I've fixed the coding issue - I had the right codes, but I didn't use the simple editor. I got excited about the 1 hour queue and all that...

My problem is that I have never been able to write a second chapter of a WIP - so... I'm really not sure how that will unfold. If ever.

Thank you so much for the amazing review, hun, and I'm absolutely chuffed.

- emma xx


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Review #9, by doratonks14Oh, the Tragedy of it All!: A Bin Full of Sick

23rd January 2010:
Springy!

Another chapter so soon! I was so excited to read this, you have no idea. I'm going to have an absolutely horrible day tomorrow and I've been bummed about it all day today, so this really cheered me up.

Yup, even though it wasn't exactly a happy chapter. Your writing is just so great, I can't help but be happy when you update.

And what a wonderful update it was!

The first person is really, really great. Seriously, you've captured Rose's voice so well. Already, I can sympathize with her and empathize with her and she cracks me up. Getting a welt on her forehead from hitting herself with her trunk - bahahaha, that's so something I would do! I died laughing at that part. Wonderful.

I really liked the Scorpius interaction. I like how she doesn't really notice him at all, and that he is soft spoken and such. Its different, and I think its really original compared to all the stories where they annoy each other incessantly.

Tabby is a great character. Everyone needs a friend like that. Someone who's note afraid to smack you around and be like "hey, you're being an idiot, knock it off". Hehehe. I can't wait to see more of her.

Oh, and Rose should apologiz to Six. :( She shouldn't take her anger out on her best friend -- even though it is easier to get mad at someone you know is always going to love you than it is to get mad at someone you're afraid of losing.

Ummm yeah.I think that's all I wanted to say. :)

Wonderful chapter as usual hun! 10/10

Author's Response: I am sorry you are going to have a poopy day,but I am glad that this was able to bring you some cheer (even though, like you said it wasn't a very cheerful chapter).
Tabby is so much fun, she really took on a lif of her own and was originally just going to be a side character, but she wouln't allow that, so I promise that you will be seeing a lot more of her.
Yes, I always imagained that some of the Malfoy swagger would be gone post war (and especially post Hermione/Draco). I really liked the idea of Scorpius not being such an imposing presence and more of someone who sneaks up on you, I hope you continue to like where I take him.
Rose is being a brat to her bestie... but it is as you said, it's a lot easier to be mean to those that you know love you, itwill be okay soon ;)
Thanks so much as always. Hope your day isn't as bad as you believe it will be.


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Review #10, by doratonks14Oh, the Tragedy of it All!: A Game of Numbers

13th January 2010:
Yay! You're back!

And in first person too! I thought you did great with it! It was definitely different, but I liked it alot. And I didn't think having so many OC's was a bad thing. It's pretty easy to keep them straight.

Ok, so onto the actual chapter.

Love the names. Six and Seven are great...I thought I was gonna struggle to get used to that at first, but after the first few paragraphs, it was awesome. Their names are really unique, as is their background, and I like Six already. Seven...not so much, obviously.

Rose is awesome. Her narration is witty and funny and just perfect. I love that she is in Slytherin. I didn't expect that at first, but I like it. I don't think I've ever read a story where Rose was in Slytherin. Its cool. Intriguing.

Poor Rosie. Getting dumped on her first day back to school. Seven is a jerk. What is his problem? Grr, I hope we find out soon.

Seriously, hun, wonderful start to your new story! This looks so promising and exciting, I can't wait for the next chapter. So put it up soon please? *puppy dog eyes* Hehe, just kidding. Kinda. :P

Oh, and congratulations on your pregnancy! :D

10/10 as usual. :)

Author's Response: Thanks!!! I am excited about little sproggy on the way. I am glad you liked the OC's so far (or not, which is how you are supposed to feel about dear Seven). You will find out more from him eventually, but it'll take some time.
I am thrilled that my 1st person wasnt unbearable, it is so much harder to write without making it crazy and still needing to get little hints in there without being as obvious as I could with 3rd.
I hope you continue to enjoy!


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Review #11, by doratonks14Serenity: Silence

13th January 2010:
Sarah!

Oh my goodness hun, this was amazing! You said you really liked it and I can see why. This is glorious.

For only 500 words, your description is fantastic. Its the middle of January, and I just want to go out into the woods near my house and sink down into the trees and see if I can feel this way too. Even with all the snow. Hehe. Seriously, your description is inspiring.

I also loved the fact that we don't know who the girl is. I think I pictured her as Rose - probably because I just write her character so much - but regardless, having everyone anonymous in this just added to how beautiful it was.

And, as an English nerd, I have to say that your syntax was great. Your sentence structure varied and carried such a natural cadence, it was wonderful.

I don't even know what else to say. This is magnificent. You should be very proud of this. :)

10/10

Author's Response: Thank you thank you! I am rather proud of this. The story itself started out as just me challenging myself to actually describe something instead of relying on dialogue, and I do like the way it turned out, though it took a lot of effort.

I picture the girl as Lily II, or possibly Victoire, but as I think I told you once, it's no big thing. Just one more way for the reader to enjoy him/herself, one more element of mystery, one more way to use the imagination. :)


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Review #12, by doratonks14Regretfully Yours: Epilogue: Enter the New

21st November 2009:
*tear*

It's over! It's really over! I don't want it to be over! I want it to go on forever!

That was really so, so sweet! I loved every second of it...from Ginny, who I will always and forever adore because she is so ridiculous and so awesome at the same time...to Hermione's comments internally about Scorpius's name...to Ron groping his wife in front of all the kids. Hahaha.

There's so much I want to say, and yet I don't even really know what to say. This story has kept me entertained for so long, even though I've been horrible about keeping up with it, I've ALWAYS looked foward to updates and have always read them immediately when they came, even though I didn't always get a chance to review right then.

This story really renewed my love of Ron/Hermione, which was surprising because I was really writing an anti-Ron/Hermione story at the time, but I was rooting for them the whole time, and am so happy they got the happy ending they deserve.

I'm also happy Draco got a happy ending...although I don't like Astoria. She seems too snooty. But Daphne is cool. I hope that Hermione takes her up on that offer for a playdate. Little Rose and Adrienne could be friends. :P

Okay, I'm going to stop before I ramble much too much and start crying. Thank you so much again for writing this wonderful story. And you're writing a Next-Gen sequel! *jaw drops and dies* You can be sure I'll be there reading! I cannot wait. I'm sure, as with everything else of yours, that it will be fabulous!

Congratulations on finishing, and for the final time, 10/10.

Author's Response: Well thank you so very much for the praise. I will definitely be interested to hear what you thought of the next gen work seeing as how yours is so good :) I am nervous about starting a Scorose and only hope I can do it justice.
Astoria is not so much a snoot as threatened by Hermione, I mean she was Draco's wife. You will find out more about dear Ade and Rose soon, I promise :) Thank you so much for your wonderful, long and entertaining reviews. I have enjoyed and looked forward to each one.


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Review #13, by doratonks14Regretfully Yours: Not All Moonlight and Roses

21st November 2009:
I'm so bad. I really am. But I do have a valid excuse this time! I was in DC for a week! And am now getting caught up on schoolwork.

But oh my gosh! This chapter was incredible! I love Ginny. I love how she thought she had just wet herself when actually she was going into labor. And good for her for standing up to Molly! I think Molly totally deserved it, because I love George and Angelina alot.

Hermione propsed to Ron! Kind of! Oh gosh, that is so cute and amazing. I can imagine it actually happening this way. Especially because he is so stubborn and jealous all the time. I just wanted to smack him before that happened.

I'm also happy for Draco and Astoria. I hope they really are in love and not just getting married because there is a baby on the way. (And not because I'm biased because I like my idea of a loving Draco and Astoria...hehe :P )

And James is here! I love your comments on how you can't tell who he looks like. I always wondered how you could tell who a baby looks like right after their born. Honestly, new borns are rather wonky looking. Not quite so cute until they are a few weeks old.

Okay, yes, I am rambling now. Oh, one last thing - I loved how both Ron and Hermione wanted a child of their own. That's so cute! And realistic! I hope they do have one soon. :)

Overall, wonderful, wonderful chapter! 10/10 as always! I cannot believe I have only one chapter left. That makes me so sad! I'm going to miss this story so much.

Now onto the epilogue!

Author's Response: No worries, I hope you had a nice time in DC. Glad you came back though.
I loved writing Ginny in this chapter, it was so much fun. she really transformed in this fic for me from someone who was more irksome than anything to write, to my go to girl when I needed some comic relief.
I too love George and Angie... They are just too much fun.
I never can tell who a baby looks like until they have developed a bit further... they always just looked squichy and red to me when they were new borns.
I always thought that Hermione would be the one to take the initiative (sort of), being that Ron was more of a hesitant and self doubting type of guy.
So very happy you came back and enjoyed this. Thank you so much as always.


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Review #14, by doratonks14Regretfully Yours: And He Scores!

15th October 2009:
Hahaha, first, just wanted to say I loved the chapter title. Very appropriate, and just really really funny.

Okay, moving on...oh, Ron is SO going to get killed at work tomorrow. No doubts about it. Mitzi sounds rather frightening. And although she may be a bit squeamish around blood, the Unforgiveables don't do any bodily harm. :P Ron better watch out.

I feel really bad for Linus. He's pretty wimpy though...I think if I were him, I would have stood up and chased after Mitzi. Fierce though she may be, he needs to prove to her that he loves her.

And yay! They did it! About time, I must say. I hope he proposes to her at Christmas. Yes, probably just wishful thinking, but I am just so happy for the two of them. I really think they're just so adorable.

Plus, if they got engaged at Christmas, it might lessen Molly's anger at George. I feel bad for him too. Being rejected has to hurt more than he is letting on.

Wonderful chapter again as always. I forgot to mention this in my last review, but I'm sorry about your father-in-law. :( That has to be really hard. I hope things get better for you soon.

Once again, lovely chapter! I think I'm finally caught up! Sorry it took me so long...school...new job...been really sick. Excuses excuses. But I think you know how it is. I promise, I'm going to try to get better about it now.

10/10 as always. :)

Author's Response: No worries hun. I do know how it is... sorry to hear you are sick, I have been as well and it sucks. Thanks for the well wishes also.
As for Ron, he will probably get a few proper hexes, but he can handle himself.
Linus is being a bit of a loser right now. I think he is just beaten down so badly by his grandfather and Mitzi's rejection, he doesnt have the heart in him anymore to bother. Wimp!
I can say that there will be no Christmas engagement. Poor George, he is going to recieve a full load of Molly's wrath. Thanks so much again, as always.


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Review #15, by doratonks14Regretfully Yours: Second Half of the Second, First Date

15th October 2009:
Yay! Aww, that was so stinking cute. I don't know if there's really anymore to say. So cute! I love the two of them together. I loved the restaurant date and the bookstore idea was really, really sweet. Who knew Ron was such a thoughtful guy?

I feel bad for Ginny, but she makes me laugh. Someone sure is grumpy. Harry's such a prick. A noble prick, but a prick nonetheless. He better watch out when he comes home.

The Reynold's explanations were very nice and convincing. Still shocked that its him though! Jeez. Head Auror being a baddy. Not something you come across every day. That's cool though - makes it original. :) So kudos!

Oh, and Molly. *covers eyes and doesn't know whether to burst out laughing or cry* Haha, that was hysterical. They really are even now! And I loved your description of Hermione's emotions after that - I thought they were spot on.

Another really wonderful and sweet chapter! 10/10 as always. Onto the next one!

Author's Response: Yay, this was a bit fluffy for me. Really needed to break it up after a while (hence the molly intrusion). I can only keep fluff up for so long, really I prefer angst. Happily ever after just gets boring.
Yeah, Reynolds being a bad guys was fun, especially since most people didnt see that one coming. I figured he was a lot like Barty Crouch Sr. in that sense though.
Grumpy Ginny has been so much fun to write, it has been such a release, especially since I have been so grumpy myself (part of why I took a week validation break, I would just have been mean). Anyway, thanks so much for your reviews. Love hearing from you.


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Review #16, by doratonks14Regretfully Yours: Second, First Date

15th October 2009:
I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! All there is to say. Well, and that I really, really loved it!

Honestly, this was so realistic, I couldn't help but laugh despite the fact that it wasn't all that funny. I've had so many awkward first dates, I definitely can sympathize with Hermione and Ron.

And her dad! Bahahaha. So funny. That had to be extremely awkward for him. "What time will you be home?" Oh, oblivious fathers. Haha, honestly, probably more awkward for Ron. That's gotta be hard.

And it was Reynolds! I would have never ever guessed that. Are we gonna find out more about that? Like why he did it? Cause that is really intriguing!

Oh, and just so you know, you wrote "steak-out" a few times at the beginning of the chapter...shouldn't it be "stake-out"? Don't mean to be nitpicky, I just thought you might wanna know.

10/10 and onto the next chapter!

Author's Response: I totally did mean stake-out. I am surprised that both me and Georgia missed that one.
I have missed you, glad that you didnt leave forever. :)
So happy you enjoyed this chapter, and as I see you have read on, I will not bore you with the details of Reynolds seeing as you will have already found out more about that.
Thanks for coming back and thanks for reviewing. Appreciated very much.


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Review #17, by doratonks14An Ocean of Coffee: Just Live

18th September 2009:
Wow, this is really, really good.

First of all, the title is really intriguing...I can't wait to see how that comes into play. I love all things coffee, so I think that was one of the reasons I decided to read this.

Cedric's voice is very real and I find myself feeling sorry for him at the way all of his friends don't believe him about Voldemort being back. Its nice to see him alive though - I always felt bad that Cedric died so young. Just one question though - he's alive because the curse missed, right?

I really cannot wait to see where you go with this and Cedric's reaction to whatever it was that Arthur handed him.

Cozy Cassie is hysterical...I found myself chuckling every time I read that. My annoying cousin is named Cassie and it just made me think of her.

Ok, I feel like I'm rambling, so I'm going to go. Great chapter! I can't wait to see where you go with this. 10/10

Author's Response: The title won't make sense for a few chapters, if I stick to my planning. However, it was one of those titles that came to me literally in the middle of the night and I rushed to write it down then went back to bed, so hoepfully it'll all make sense in the end.

Yes, Harry saw that something bad was about to happen, and Cedric ducked, and the spell missed.

Cassie was meant to be a bit of comic relief... I figure she can just pop up when anyone's too down and the story will be a good balance of happy and sad... Funny about your cousin. Maybe Cassie's just an annoying name. :P

Thanks for the great review!


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Review #18, by doratonks14Regretfully Yours: Finally

18th September 2009:
Yay! *does happy dance*

I don't even know what to say! I could scream I'm so happy.

I don't take back what I said last chapter, they're still morons. But they're lovable morons and I am so thrilled that they are going to be taking things slow for a while.

The Arthur/Molly bit had me blushing...it made me think of my grandparents...because that is definitely something that would happen to them...and then it really grossed me out. But it was hilarious, and after I got over my inital mortification, I was laughing so loudly my brother came down from his room just to see what the heck was wrong with me.

I loved the slap that Hermione delivered...well justified. I wanted to hit Ron myseld when he said that. I still have a soft spot for Draco, and that was just downright horrible.

Congrats on the Dobby Nomination - very, very well deserved and I definitely voted for you. :)

Once again, an awesome chapter. It totally just made my day! 10/10 forever.

Author's Response: Thanks... didnt win, but that is okay, just happy to have been in the running. :)
I am so happy to read your reaction to this chapter, I was anxiously waiting for what you would think. It is exactly what I was hoping for.
Dont worry my grandparents are the same way, and I totally was thinking of them when I wrote that (though that sounds really gross, and made me vomit in my mouth a little). Anyway, I will get the next chapter up on Sunday I think (hope). Thanks so much as always.


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Review #19, by doratonks14Regretfully Yours: Explanations

18th September 2009:
Yay! Wow, I really liked this chapter.

It was great to hear the backstory somewhat between Mitzi and Linus. I feel really bad for both of them. I can see both of their sides. Loved the Jane Austen reference by the way. :) Jane is love.

And for the record, I think Ron and Hermione are both idiots. Just putting that out there. I don't think there's much esle to say about those two right now. Hehe.

Wonderful chapter. I'm sorry its taken me so long to read and review...my college level physics class is eating my soul dementor style.

Just so you know, you spelled Explanations wrong. I don't mean to be nitpicky about it, but I figured it was the title of the chapter, so you might want to know.

10/10

Author's Response: Thank you! No one else caught that (including me) Spelling is not my strong suit at all! It is why I so desperately need a beta.
I am so glad you were finally able to make it over. I understand how real life can invade your time. I have a couple of stories that I need to catch up on.
Not to mention another chapter to post. They are both being huge idiots, it is what makes their dynamic so much fun. well off to your next review.


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Review #20, by doratonks14Monday, Monday: The Times They Are A-Changin’

8th September 2009:
So this is another one of those stories that I've been looking at for awhile, and now that I've finished my novel I have finally had time to read. And hahaha, I'm really liking the sound of this so far.

Louis is hysterical. I love him. I don't even think I can come up with the proper words to describe him - metro slightly perhaps. But that's what makes him fun. :)

The writing style is definitely unique - and it took me a while to get used to it - but I like it alot. I'm a big fan of fragments - you can say so much in just a few words. The only thing I would have to say is that sometimes I have no idea who is talking. But I'm also sick right now and have taken what would probably be considered an unhealthy amount of cold-pills, so I may just be slightly spacey.

Uhh...now I can't remember what else I wanted to say...oh! The revolutionary plot sounds really, really intriguing. Honestly, I didn't find this chapter boring at all. I loved it. It really explained alot that I was confused about. I can't wait to see how they go about over-throwing the minister. It just seems so...taboo...the next-gen Weasley's doing the opposite of what their parents did. Very cool.

Overall, a wonderful chapter/story. I cannot wait to see where you go with this. 10/10

Author's Response: I have wayy too many of those stories! My excuse for not reading them is the unreasonable demands put on me by the education system. Haha well that's always good to know!

Ah Louis, he's something else isn't he? I think it's good if you can't really describe him properly. I'd be quite disappointed if you could do it in just a couple of words.

I'm glad you stuck with it! Especially if it weirded you out at first - I know how easy it is to just chuck a story. Ooh okay, I'll look out for that! Thanks for mentioning it.

A bit of intrigue isn't bad right? It's actually why I threw this chapter in here. Couple of confusing chapters where everything is just swirling around and going crazy, then this one to sort of calm it down a bit.

Thanks so much! Keep looking out for it, I'm on a bit of a roll with it ^^


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Review #21, by doratonks14Regretfully Yours: Roadside Snog

21st August 2009:
Ahh! I've been a bad reviewer lately. :( I'm sorry. I started school again last week and being a horrible procrastinator left all of my summer homework up until the last moment. So I've hardly been able to write my own stories at all, let alone read and review others. But I'm here now, and I'm caught up and OMG!

I missed so much! What...what? I don't even know what to say!

Mitzi and Linus! I love it. And the 'pixie dust' comment. Perfect, cute. I really hope we learn alot more about them soon. But if not, well, thats up to you.

And Ron really got his memories back! That is so great. But now he's all depressed and feeling sorry for himself - not cool man, not cool. I was so afraid he was gonna hurt Harry up in his room. I'm glad he didn't. Harry is such a good friend.

Oh, and I love meddling Ginny and Molly. Just putting that out there. Its so in character for them and totally reminds me of my mother and grandma. Hehehe.

Hermione signed the papers. That must have been freeing. I'm proud of her. She's handling herself well. Draco really was too generous. And I loved the A. Greengrass hints. :) Recognized it right away. Not gonna lie though, I miss Draco. Do we get to see a little bit more of him in the future at least? I hope so...

Hmm...I don't know if there was anything else I wanted to comment on. Oh, Dobby nominations! You deserved all of them my dear. Fabulous story. And congrats on getting validator too. :) That is amazing.

Anyway, wonderful, wonderful chapter. I cannot wait to see where you're going with this! 10/10 forever!

Author's Response: Yay... You're back... Missed your reviews (though I totally understand as I am a huge procratstinator as well). Thanks for the Dobby noms and congrats to you as well. You definitely derve them.
I am happy you caught all my fun little hints... We will definitely find out more about Linus and Mitzi as well as see another scene with Malfoy... he is not gone yet :)
Thanks so much as always, I look forward to DD.


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Review #22, by doratonks14Hide and Seek: Dancing with Dishy Denters

6th August 2009:
Ok, so I have to start out this review by saying how sorry I am for not having reviewed this story sooner - I read all of Keep Away and then this the other night (bad insomnia grr) and I didn't stop to review because I was so excited to just keep reading more. This story is so funny! I love it! It makes me laugh like no other - which right now isn't such a good thing considering I had surgery the other day and it fricking hurts to laugh - but it has taken my mind off of it, so thank you very much.

Ok. So now that that very long prologue is done - I LOVE LIAM. He's so nice. And hot. And cute. And hot. And I feel so sorry for him, because he is the rebound guy, so we all know that he is never going to last.

Amanda - wow, well you've really captured the annoying step-sister really well. I have 3 younger step-sisters, and honestly, I want to drop them off the top of Mt. Everest. Hehe. So we should ship Amanda off there.

Fave quotes:

“Yes, of course I’m running away. I’ve made plans with the Russian circus. Would you like to be in a side show? No, you twit, I’m going out.”

and

“There’s a bird in your room!” she screamed. “Oh! I’ve read about this—Jane, it has rabies! Don’t touch it! You’ll get bird flu for certain. Jane—oh, God! You’ve got bird flu. You’re going to sprout wings in six to eight weeks. You’ll be a laughing stock! Your boyfriends in America won’t want anything to do with you.”


I just about died laughing at that. Seriously, where do you come up with these things? It's freaking hilarious.

So now I cannot wait to see what happens at the fundraiser. I have a sneaking suspicion our favorite Keeper is going to be there - which makes me excited but also feel slightly sick with worry at the same time. I hope they don't throw things at each other again. No, wait, I take it back. That would be pretty hilarious.

Ok, now I'm going to end what I think is my longest review ever. Wonderful chapter! You're a really great writer. 10/10

Author's Response: You, my friend, need to stop laughing at this story. Put on a serious face when Jane thinks...or Alicia talks...hmm. Probably not a good idea. I'm glad you've been reading! :) Aw, I love Liam too. He's just a genuine guy, which I like. I'll get three extra tickets so we can toss your step sisters as well if you want. I'm generous :) I won't let Amanda hog all the attention--she would enjoy it too much. As for the bird flu.yeah, I have no idea how I come up with it lol. Just sort of comes out of the keyboard :)

:) Thanks so much for your amazing review and sneaking suspicions. I hope you enjoy the next, can't wait to see what you thought! Thanks!


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Review #23, by doratonks14Regretfully Yours: Inner Turmoil

2nd August 2009:
Okay, so you've made me cry. Sob actually. My mom just came in here to see what the heck was wrong with me.

That letter was so touching and very beautiful. Especially the part where he said he was going to do the most unselfish thing he had ever done. Gosh, I'm sorry, but I'm so mad at Hermione right now. She really did treat him badly.

I hope that if Ron finds out from Ginny that she saw Draco crying he doesn't feel smug. That would make me very angry with him. As much as I am glad that he and Hermione can be together, my heart breaks for Draco.

Overall, a wonderful, wonderful chapter! It takes a lot for me to actually cry while reading, so you really are a very talented writer.

10/10 - as if you had to ask. :P

Author's Response: Thank you so very much, the biggest compliment ever is that I was able to make someone feel something as intense as cyring...
Ron might have it in him to be smug, but I don't know if I will portray that, haven't gotten that far yet.
Thank you so much as always... waiting for the second to last chapter of DD.


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Review #24, by doratonks14These Little Games: Chapter 1

28th July 2009:
Another cliffie! *jumps up and down in frustration and excitement* Very nicely done though, I'm dying here. Considering I use so many of them myself, I can appreciate a good cliffie. But god, I'm dying now.

I feel so bad for Kiera. I can't imagine losing one of my best friends. Like now, I'm trying to imagine what my life would be like without any of them and it makes me so sad. It seems so empty.

And I know that we haven't seen much of Scorpius yet, but I feel so bad for him too. Like you said, I don't remember the exact quote and am too lazy to go and find it, but you said he looked at her like her dad looked at her mum and that made me almost cry. Poor, poor Scorpius. :(

Her dad is Seamus! Hehe, I love that guy. I seriously started cracking up at this: "Knowing my father, he was probably trying to woo her by doing suggestive things with cantaloupes. Quite frankly, I can see him now, holding two up to his chest and winking at her."

I love how you can make me laugh and then want to cry in a matter of moments. Very talented. :)

Okay, I feel like I'm prattling on here, so I'm gonna stop. Once again, fantabulous chapter. I cannot wait to see where this is going! 10/10

Author's Response: Seriously, we're both cliffie addicts! Haha. Please, don't die. I want more of your story and more of your lovely reviews. ;] And I'm glad that you, the Queen of Cliffies, enjoy my cliffhangers. That means a lot.

And I feel bad for Keira, too! I'm glad you do, too. It means that I did my job well.

And yes, never forget about Scorpius. You'll be seeing much more of him soon. And I know exactly which part you're talking about. I got teary eyed writing it, myself. It's always the simple observational sentences like that that get to me, I swear. Anyway, I didn't mean to make you too sad!

Seamus! Haha, same. I actually added in the "how my parents met part" at the last minute. I felt like the story needed a hint of fluffliness since things got heavy so early on, you know? And it never hurts to add a sexual innuendo involving Seamus. ;]

And I'm so happy you feel that way. =D It really means a lot to me. I'm glad you feel like I can capture different emotions, rather than it being monotone.

Thanks so much,
Paula


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Review #25, by doratonks14Regretfully Yours: Research and Development

26th July 2009:
Wow. I don't even know what to say. Just wow.

Excellent chapter. Seriously, I loved everything about it. The note Hermione sent to Ron was perfect - if she had written anything else, I don't know if he would have given it back to her.

Oh Ginny. She reminds me so much of Molly. Meddling, but with good intentions. Its good that she's realized she's doing more harm than good, but I don't think she'll give up this easily. Or at least, I hope not.

Draco.he confuses me. I have no idea what to think of him. He's mean, then he's nice, then he's indifferent - MAKE UP YOUR MIND. Hehe. Sorry. I still feel pretty bad for him though. It's obvious to everyone, even Linus, that Hermione loves Ron more than him.

Ooh, ooh, a quote:

“No. I was trying to protect Hermione.”


I love Harry. Pure, plain, and simple. That quote made me aww, and want to cry. He is amazing, and both Ron and Hermione are lucky to have such a wonderful friend.


Once again, a wonderful, wonderful chapter. I cannot wait to see what happens next! 10/10

Author's Response: Yay...still grinning. Yes Draco is frustrating, but you will find out more about his reaction soon,it's going to be good (or I think so anyway). I am so glad you liked Harry's reaction, I didn't think he would be only Ron sympathetic. Someone has to look out for Hermione. Now update DD so that I have soemthing to read.

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