Reading Reviews From Member: Mrs_Granger
  
201 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Mrs_GrangerAlmost Happily Ever After: The Wedding

11th December 2011:
Dear Jet,

I re-read this chapter a couple days ago but didn't have time to post a review at the time, but I wanted to make sure I did for this one.

The re-write is really good, much better with the dialouge and fleshing out some of the scenes a bit more. I think you are beginning to get the hang of it! This one flowed very well, had better transitions between the scenes. I like how you explained scene changes some before just diving in, reminding us of what was going on in this other location or with the other group of people.

Well done!

Mrs_Granger

Author's Response: Thank you for the review. I am going through everything I have written putting in **dialogue** and notes, then going back and re-writing. I think this chapter is better than some of the chapters that follow, although I think some real good bits are coming. Sometimes you just have to decide between finally posting something and continuing to fuss with it. I'm developing another story thread right now, with Kreacher. Trying to at least outline it through to the end of this story.
I seem to be getting a fair number of reads, but not a lot of reviews. Maybe I need to do something to get readers mad at me?

JetLaBarge


 Report Review

Review #2, by Mrs_GrangerAlmost Happily Ever After: The Black and Potter Vaults

2nd July 2011:
Dear Jet,

This chapter has advanced your story quite a bit. The plot is developing nicely and I look forward to seeing where you will take it from here.

Mrs_Granger

Author's Response: Thank you. You're reviews mean a lot to me. The Potters will not in my story have a simple life. I hope I don't leave too many threads hanging.

 Report Review

Review #3, by Mrs_GrangerAlmost Happily Ever After: Forensic Accounting

23rd May 2011:
Dear Jet,

Good progress with the financial line of the story, something I didn't tackle at all in mine! I liked the interactions between Harry and the authorities around the estates and how ownership is transfered as the result of a duel. I look forward to what you have coming next.

Mrs_Granger

Author's Response: Financial issues are not irrelevant in the Harry Potter universe! Ron is always complaining about being poor, and it is noted that the Weasley family is poor. Bill and Fleur are in banking. It is noted that the twins are very financially successful. Charley, the dragon tamer, seems to be the only one to whom money is irrelevant; I assume he could have made more money as a Quidditch star.

We do not really get any idea of how Ginny feels about money in the books, and there is no indication that she wants Harry because of his money, but as her life plays out, especially in the first few years after she is married, I assume that she will at least note that her life is very different from her parents. Of course I assume as do other authors that the post Riddle life of the Weasley family will be much more prosperous and better than when Tom Riddle/Voldemort was alive.

There is more to what Harry inherited than just money.


 Report Review

Review #4, by Mrs_GrangerAlmost Happily Ever After: Teddy

22nd May 2011:
Dear Jet,

Mother Minerva's Magical infant and mother supplies. What an excellent idea! I like it very much.

You have excellent ideas. I think most of the work needed on your story would be in the mechanics of writing. I look forward to working on this with you.

Mrs_Granger

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm rather fond of Mother Minerva's myself. I think that stories about witches often had them involved in reproduction, with better medicine and ways to solve maternal problems. I know I am going to appreciate your help. The only chapter I ever had my wife comment on I had to read to her, and my one daughter-in-law, who saw parts of the story over a year ago, is full time pastor of a little church now and super busy. A woman's point of view will be very handy.

 Report Review

Review #5, by Mrs_GrangerAlmost Happily Ever After: Greeting the grieving

22nd May 2011:
Dear Jet,

You have a good story line going here, with a nice review of the range of feelings all those who had lost loved ones would have. Some would be angry, others sad, still others bewildered and lost. You handled all that very well.

I also like the story thread you've got started here with Bill and the Bank. To me, that is the thread that generates the most interest in your story, because it introduces an unknown. Well done.

Mrs_Granger

Author's Response: Well, Bill, the bank, and Kreacher become very central to the ongoing story. And one of the central themes of the story is that nothing every works out neatly. The first few days started out much shorter, but I periodically added in little stories, because that is what "greating the greiving" would be, just one sad story after another. And I did not think that everyone would thank Harry.

 Report Review

Review #6, by Mrs_GrangerAlmost Happily Ever After: Almost Happily Ever After, Battle day

18th May 2011:
Dear Jet,

This was a good start for your story. I liked the character development you did with Ginny, though she is definately more braisen than I have seen her in a while!

I look forward to reading more of your story as I have time, something I should finally have time for now that my own story is completed.

Mrs_Granger

Author's Response: There is no review I appreciate more than yours, and no author who has written better stories. Thank you!
I will admit that my Ginny is rather brazen. I have her in a full fledge panic after seeing the letters from other witches wanting Harry. I think back to Seeker68's Molly in 31 Bottles, and see Ginny as maybe a little of Molly on steroids at this point. If you think I ought to correct anything let me know. I envy your trip to England! Enjoy! I will continue to recommend your 2 marvelous stories occasionally in comments at the end of chapters.


 Report Review

Review #7, by Mrs_GrangerThe End of the Beginning-The Beginning of the End: Work! Weddings! Potter's Pride

16th January 2010:
Marc,

Another interesting chapter that moved your story along. Good descriptions of everything. I enjoyed the dialogue where you had it. It really pulls the reader into the story better than third person narrative. If I were to make one suggestion, it would be to use more dialouge to thin out the narative sections.

Mrs_Granger

Author's Response: Dear Mrs. Granger,

Thanks for the review. You're right in that I should have more dialouge in places. I'll have to keep it in mind when I get back to the story. I'll have to take a few days off due to grades being due in ten days and mid year exams being given out at this time. I'll make sure to add in a bit more dialouge.

As always, Until next time,

Marc


 Report Review

Review #8, by Mrs_GrangerThe End of the Beginning-The Beginning of the End: Wizard's Words and Muggle Science

7th January 2010:
Marc,

This was an exciting and imaginative end to this part of your adventure. I look forward to what comes next.

Mrs_Granger

Author's Response: Dear Mrs. Granger,

I'll be taking the story in a new direction. I'm sure that you'll like what I have planed next.

As always, Until next time,

Marc


 Report Review

Review #9, by Mrs_GrangerThe End of the Beginning-The Beginning of the End: Squeaky Springs and a Call for Help

7th January 2010:
Marc,

What a delightful honeymoon chapter!

I also enjoyed seeing the story from the owl's point of view. What an original idea. It added a very nice element to your story.

Now that Harry and Ginny are back though, I look forward to seeing what they can do to sort out Bonnie's problem.


Mrs_Granger

Author's Response: Dear Mrs. Granger,

It's great hearing from you again. I missed your input on my chapters. I'll be over to read your chapters as soon as I finish my grades for this quarter. I'm in a hurry to see what you've done in the most recent chapters.

As always, Until next time,

Marc


 Report Review

Review #10, by Mrs_GrangerThe End of the Beginning-The Beginning of the End: The Attack!

7th January 2010:
Marc,

Another good one. Now they know what is attacking Bonnie. I wonder how they'll discover how to stop it? A really good story.

Mrs_Granger

Author's Response: Dear Mrs. Granger,

Thanks for the review. You can't imagine the problems that I had getting this chapter pass the validators. They didn't want anything to do with a demon sexually attacking a little girl. I had to rewrite it four times before I took enough out that they would let it go by. If I knew your e-m I could send the true chapter for your reading. There's a lot more to come.

As always, Until next time,

Marc


 Report Review

Review #11, by Mrs_GrangerThe End of the Beginning-The Beginning of the End: Captain Harry?

7th January 2010:
Marc,

What a delightful tale of heroism and rescue from a sinking ship! This chapter almost stands on it's own as a short story, even though I know it is part of the larger whole of you novel length one. Very well done.

On to the next one.

Mrs_Granger

Author's Response: Dear Mrs. Granger,

Thanks for the review. I enjoyed doing this chapter. It was such a change from what I had been doing. Stay with me.

As always, Until next time,

Marc


 Report Review

Review #12, by Mrs_GrangerThe End of the Beginning-The Beginning of the End: Tell Tail Fears

7th January 2010:
Marc,

It's been a while ... I'd taken a break in reading the stories of others in order to work out a plot problem on my own story, but I've decided it's time to read instead of write. Upon reading this chapter though I got brought back into your story immediately.

This was a very interesting one, full of mysterious happenings. You left lots of good hints to interest us, but you haven't let slip what the answer is yet with Bonnie and her room.

The chapter is very well constructed too, though you need to re-read for word use throughout. You have 'too' where you mean 'to' and 'there' for 'their' and the other way round in places. Those are small things and hard to catch with a spell checker, but it's something to look out for. We all do it now and again.

I look forward to the next chapter to find out a little more about it.

Mrs_Granger

Author's Response: Dear Mrs. Granger,

Welcome back! I hope you enjoy the new chapters. I'll go back and double check the chapter. I started with the first ten chapters and have revised them to get rid of the spelling problems.

As always, Until next time,

Marc


 Report Review

Review #13, by Mrs_GrangerThirty-One Bottles: Bottles Eight and One

8th November 2009:
seeker68,

Thanks for such a wonderful story. Your work is always such a joy to read, even when you struggle with it, what you come out with is always a good read.

I must commend you on all of these memories. I really loved the memory within a memory idea, the little bonus of getting to see a little more of Lilly, James and the Mauraders through Hagrid's eyes. Obviously it meant alot to Harry, but I was thinking, wasn't this Ginny's first time to actually see them? It was wonderful for Harry to be able to share this experience with her. On other occasions when he's encountered them through memories or as spectres, he's been alone. I think this too must have moved Harry enormously be be able to share that with Ginny.

Now for Molly's memories. I know you struggled to add the third one. Personally I think it added to the story and helped cement her acceptance and support of them as a couple. I, like so many others, absolutely adored the memory of Molly taking on Dumbledore, and her ability to cower one of the greatest wizards of all times. It helps to re-enforce how powerful a witch Molly really is ... and how much she cares. But Harry was a stranger to her then. Other than being famous and having his story be known, she didn't really know him as a person. In the third memory she did. It was obvious she cared about Harry rather than the boy-who lived, the person he had become and the person she had gotten to know. And of course it showed how much she cares about Ginny as well. It reinforced what was suggested with the memory about Molly and Dumbledore. Molly was determined to be the one to love and take care of Harry, and she did ... she still does.

So well done, all of it. It was light and fluffy here and there, but so full of emotion in parts, it was definately not over the top fluff wise. I hope it got the juices flowing, and prepares you for re-working your sequal in a way that works for you, as soon as your work load allows.

I look forward to reading more from you, as soon as you are ready to share.

Mrs_Granger

Author's Response: Mrs_Granger

First thanks for all the work to make the story better, I do appreciate it a lot!

It was a challenge to find different ways to launch the memories, that was part of the reason I added the back story with the vacation. Doing the memory in a memory bit was an idea that came to me as I started the chapter. I'm glad it did because up until then the start to the chapter was incredibly boring. After I had the idea then it all got going and I ended up with a scene about 1500 words too long. So I pared it back and I like the cleaned up version better.

Molly's memories- thank you for pushing me to add the last scene. I wasn't sure if I wanted to do it, but you pressing got me too. I don't mind taking risks with a story, but for some reason I was hesitant about adding this. No clue why because after reading it on the site it was 100x better with it than without it. So thanks.

I had an idea for Molly vs Dumbledore a long time ago and just needed a way to get it into the story. Some bits of it changed, but the basic premise of the scene never changed from my original story notes from a year ago.

For Molly I tried to show the different facets of being a parent, encouraging(with little Ginny), protective(going after Dumbledore) and supportive(quietly letting Harry and Ginny work things out).

So thanks, for all you've done to make my stories better. I can't thank you enough.

Thank You,
Dave


 Report Review

Review #14, by Mrs_GrangerThirty-One Bottles: Bottles Twenty, Twenty-Four and Sixteen

14th October 2009:
Hi seeker68,

I've been lurking, reading the reviews you've recieved for this one, and I thought I'd add my own.

Like many have said I wasn't sure where Ron was going with the memories he chose to give ... but then that is Ron. The selection you chose was perfect because it fits his thought processes. Ron's actions and statements sometimes (often?) look random and perhaps lacking a good sense of timing, but there is always a point to them somewhere. He's a much deeper character than many give him credit for because he has trouble expressing himself well. Well in my opinion you captured all of that brilliantly. Well done, truly.

I also enjoyed the fluff and intimacy of Pavarti's memory (sorry I missed the spelling error on her name. My bad.) This one was very sweet and really pulls at the heart strings watching it. They were so young and their relationship so new and fragile feeling. Sometimes we need to remember those times. They are precious and few, so I thank you for that too.

So how are you feeling about things as we near the end? Are you wishing you'd made it more, is it feeling about right? Hopefully it's gotten the juices flowing for your sequel. I'd love to read more of that soon too.

Excellent work as ususal.

Mrs_Granger

Author's Response: Ummm Mrs_Granger, there is a thin line between lurking and stalking, don't make me get out the pepper spray... :-)

Your comments about Ron are right on the money, as I see him the same way. he knows and is aware of a lot more than what he lets on. I feel like he changed after leaving them in the forest, and after he came back his loyalty to Harry and Hermione would be without question. But I wondered how he could prove it if it was a situation he couldn't control, like the H/G breakup. In LtLA I showed him as trying to help them subtly. I never gave his character a lot to do in LtLA because it was so H/G centered. But with this story I was able to show his maturity.

If you look at my original notes you'll see this isn't what I had planned for Parvati, but this story line came out much better than the orignal ever could have. Once I latched onto the idea, it almost wrote itself. I could see the scene in my mind and it was easy to get it on paper.

Haow am I feeling as I near the end? I'm glad. I love the story, and it got me writing again, but it's time to end it. Sure I could have added more bottles, but I don't want the memories to get stale. It isn't just 31 memories, its trying to come up with 31 different memories, that's difficult. So I think its just the right length

Thanks, You know how much I appreciate your opinion.

Dave


 Report Review

Review #15, by Mrs_GrangerThirty-One Bottles: Bottles Eighteen, Thirty and Six

20th August 2009:
Hi seeker68. I thought it might be time for me to review.

Of all the chapters so far, I think this one was my favorite. Why? Because each one showed more affection and caring towards the individuals and the couple they were given to. Fleur's in particular was wonderful and her choice in giving it to Harry and Ginny as a couple helped ensure that not only did Ginny remember theri talk, but it gave Ginny the opportunity to share the contents of that talk with Harry. This was truly generous of spirit for Fleur to think of this and a true gift to the couple, something they could take to heart and learn from for the future. So anyways, that is why this one was my favorite.

Lee's and Jaclyn's were good too, just not necessarily as instructive and beneficial long term.

I look forward to the next set from you.

Mrs_Granger

Author's Response: Hi and thanks for the reiview. Hopefully I'll have some more fan-fic time soon and be ablt to do all the things I like to do; answer reviews, leave reviews, write stories...

i'm not sure why, but I have a lot of ideas for Fleur and the way I think her character should be. Which is odd because in the books I didn't really have any attachment to her. But, maybe that is why I like her so much now. She's an open slate I can write her in any number of ways and not be challenged as far as her character being 'canon'. I have the same fondness for Mr. Weasley and McGonagall too.


 Report Review

Review #16, by Mrs_GrangerHarry Potter and the End of Illusions: New Life

21st July 2009:
This was a good development for your story. Well done on the plot.

I look forward to what will happen next.

Mrs_Granger

Author's Response: thank you very much dear :) glad you enjoy my work so far :)

thanks again

CP09


 Report Review

Review #17, by Mrs_GrangerUnder the Apple Tree: A Warm Feeling in the Pouring Rain

6th July 2009:
This was a short but sweet chapter. The kiss was wonderful, but it would be great if Harry and Hermione could talk too.

Thanks for the story. It has been a fun read.

Mrs_Granger

Author's Response: Oh don\\\'t worry, they shall talk! And it\\\'s not over yet! :)

 Report Review

Review #18, by Mrs_GrangerThirty-One Bottles: Bottles Twenty-Seven, Fifteen and Seven

5th July 2009:
Hi Seeker68,

I finally got a moment to review, so here goes.

As always your memories are all well thought out. All represent poignant moments in time as successfully as ever, and of course are well written. I’ve begun wondering how you do that, getting them all so perfect so quickly. But I digress.

My favorite memory in this chapter was chapter 27, probably because it was the most unexpected and surprising. It gave us a glimpse into the aftermath of the Tri-Wizard tournament that we’ve never seen before. It was wonderful to see the solidarity between the champions that had been forged by that event. I think you’re right, that they would have become life long friends after that. It was a life changing experience for all of them.

I also enjoyed chapter 7, as much for the reaction of present day Harry and Ginny who were viewing it as for the memory itself. It was interesting to see Harry’s reaction to finally seeing the girls’ dorms.

Well done on all three.

Mrs_Granger

Author's Response: Hello,

As for your high praise, thank you, but I think the stories are a long way from perfect. As you know, sometimse the words just work out, and sometimes you have to fight them every step of the way. I suppose I can let people in on a secret. Some of these memories have gone a completely different way that they were originally intended. Charlie\'s in the last chapter was 180 degrees from my original vision. In the original it was a sad, heartbroken Ginny ready to give up, but as I began to write it I didn\'t think it was right for Ginny to feel so broken. It got changed and I liked it better.

In this chapter the Hermione/Harry memory is not the one I originally envisioned. I won\'t divulge what it was because I plan to use it at another time in another story. The Hermione/Ginny scene here was the way I always wanted it. Two girls who we do not normally see as \'girly\' getting that way.

The champions scene was not originally in the story. I did not originally have Viktor in the list. I added him after the person I had chosen for the chapter didn\'t inspire me enough to write a good scene.

It occurred to me as I was writing that it was the only way for a boy to see the girls dorms. At first I had it as a scene we all expect.girls in nighties, knickers drying in the open etc... But I thought maybe that was too cliche, and I wondered if it might work better if it was a \'normal\' room. Plus the other way it took focus off the memory, so this worked out better.

Thanks again.

Dave


 Report Review

Review #19, by Mrs_GrangerThe End of the Beginning-The Beginning of the End: The Honeymoon!

2nd July 2009:
Marc,

I like the turn your story is taking. It is nice to see it headed in a new direction.

I enjoyed the cruise. Have you been on one? You seemed familiar with the surroundings you were describing.

Well done with the honeymoon scenes.

Mrs_Granger

Author's Response: Dear Mrs. Granger,

No, I haven\\\'t been on a curise, but my wife would love to go. We\\\'ll get there someday. I went on line and looked up several cruise ship blueprints and thought back to the days of Love Boat. I\\\'m glad you\\\'re enjoying the story. The next chapter will take you off on a tangent for awhile but I think that it will work well. Stay with me. I\\\'ll be going back to your story in the next couple of days to see what you\\\'ve been doing with it. I always appreciate review from authors that I admire.

As always, Until next time,

Marc


 Report Review

Review #20, by Mrs_GrangerGiving Professor Snape A Dose Of His Own Potion: The Mayhem Continues

2nd July 2009:
Another enchanting chapter. I really enjoyed the comedy described here and Ron's determination to get things under control. It seems that he and Snape have a common purpose. Humm. Interesting.

Until next time...

Mrs_Granger

Author's Response: Thank you! :) Glad you still like the humour and think that I wrote Ron well. He and Snape do indeed now have a common purpose, which should be intriguing to deal with.

Rosai z:)


 Report Review

Review #21, by Mrs_GrangerHarry Potter & the Veil of Shadows: Chapter 26 - "In From The Cold"

2nd July 2009:
Good chapter, and a very nice proposal. Well done

Mrs_Granger

Author's Response: Thank you!

 Report Review

Review #22, by Mrs_GrangerThe End of the Beginning-The Beginning of the End: The First Night!

28th June 2009:
Marc,

Very nicely done. This was a very sweet, well thought out wedding night chapter. I look forward to reading about the honeymoon.

Mrs_Granger

Author's Response: Dear Mrs. Granger,

Nice to hear from you. Thanks for the review. I wanted to make it fluffy and a little bit sexy. I was concern that it had gone to far so I asked one of the Validators to read it before I sent it in. When I wrote it I kept asking myself if it went to far or if it was something that you would write. I guess that it was just right. Thanks for the direction on how to go. I'm working on the next chapter now and there is one to be validated as I write this.

Thanks once again.

As always, Until next time,

Marc


 Report Review

Review #23, by Mrs_GrangerThirty-One Bottles: Bottles Thirteen, Two and Twenty-One

22nd June 2009:
Seeker68,

Hi there. I want to start by saying that this chapter is so far, one of my favorites for this story. I particularly enjoyed the bit with Ginny aboard the boat and her interaction with the captain who was 'only trying to help'. You caught her character so wonderfully and provided us with a very fun read.

Now for the memories ... all were truly memorable. Of the three, my favorite is bottle thirteen. Arthur Weasley is one of my favorite characters and I really enjoyed the way you captured him watching Harry before Harry ever approached him in the shed. That man is much wizer and much more intuitve than many give him credit for and you hinted at that here.

As for Harry, I liked the way you captured his nervousness and his youth in his conversation with Mr. Weasley, and Mr. Weasley's compassionate response to what Harry was trying to ask. Ginny was right, it was sweet and clumsy and endearing all at once, and so totally Harry.

The memory from Charlie was very insightful too. It highlighted the independant streak that seems to run through the Weasleys. Maybe it comes from being part of such a large family and having the need to distinguish themselves, but each one seems to have something in their character or in the choices they make that suggests this. For Bill it is the earring, for Percy it is being a conformant to the rules, for Fred and George it was their combined efforts at jokes. It was very telling that Charlie and Ginny share this particular trait and that you brought this to the forefront with their conversation. Then Charlie's conversation with Harry afterward was just funny. I could see that scene so clearly in my mind the way you wrote it. Well done!

The last memory was good too in that it was important of Harry to see and made him feel protective of Ginny, but by far the first two were my favorites.

So overall, excellent imagry and good job on preserving the mood.

Mrs_Granger

This chapter is so far on

Author's Response: What started out as little filler scenes have become rather fun to write. I'm having a lot of fun with them, and I hope everyone likes them.

Harry/Arthur is one of my all time favorite interactions to write because I can let them go anywhere and still work it out so its good. Even in the original story, their interactions run all over the place, but in the end Arthur ends up getting his lesson across. In this case the lesson was simply one of understanding, and letting Harry know he understood all that was happening.

I see that streak in the Weasley's too, and I wanted to show it. I wanted to show through the course of this that Ginny is in tune with her brothers more than they themselves realize. Here it was her similarity to Charlie that was shown and you picked right up on it.

There needed to be a place for Harry to be uncomfortable, and I don't think anything could make him more uncomfortable than Ginny getting hurt, even if it is just a memory. And this is way different than getting hurt at something like quidditch because of the intent,

Thanks for the review.

It is a much better story with your help, I appreciate it.

Dave


 Report Review

Review #24, by Mrs_GrangerUnder the Apple Tree: A Will and a Way

22nd June 2009:
Thanks for another good chapter. I really enjoyed the progression of your story in this one. It's exactly the sort of diversion I needed today.

Until next time.

Mrs_Granger

Author's Response: Thanks so much! :)

 Report Review

Review #25, by Mrs_GrangerHarry Potter and the End of Illusions: The Hero and the Heroine are Together

13th June 2009:
Nice again. I'm glad you are working more of a plot into your story.

Mrs_Granger

Author's Response: Thank you very much :) i'm so glad you like it :)

ty

CP09


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>