HOW IS THIS CHAPTER 7K???
It honestly feels like so much less and was such an easy, breezy read. I think its because Emma is so likable and the promise of the hot lead singer kind of pulls you forward like, come on, you know she's going to see him again, but when?
ugh, Amy still makes me so mad ughhh, I wonder exactly what she did this time to make it so that she had to leave and take everything with her?
And James. James sounds... hot. Like, just as hot as JGS. Good work girl! Also, for the record, I imagined the drummer as the drummer from Flower Boy Band and if you could include him more that would be lovely could you also do an insert of me and then he and i get married and do all of the things that are wonderful and not to be detailed in this review?
ANYWAY. You know how much i love this idea. I can't wait until we meet Albus. I hope he has the same lovely hair as KJW, but I know you'll put your own great spin on his character, just like you've done with everything else.
LOVELY DARLING, JUST WHAT I ANTICIPATED!
MOAR.Author's Response: I KNOW RIGHT, ANNIE? I DON'T EVEN. IT JUST SORT OF WENT AND BECAME 7K BY ITSELF.
He. You silly girl. ♥ James is smirking. SMIRKING and this is only the first chapter. HOW MUCH MORE SMIRKING CAN WE HANDLE? Apparently, a lot, because I love the fact that he's infuriatingly hot and just annoying and lazy and all those things. :) But you already know this ~* hehe.
AMY. GOD. We're going to get more of her. Obviously, she can't leave her little sis in piece. Drama everywhere ~*~* which is good for reading but not good for poor Emma. Why do I always put my OCs through the grinder? ;)
JGS. JGS. JGS. OMG. I CAN'T EVEN. WHERE?? You fooled me. I thought you were pointing to him or something and I just...need him in my life. LOLOL. I don't make sense but I'm hungry so it makes sense ?
HAHAHA. DUDE. I IMAGINED THE DRUMMER FROM FLOWER BOY BAND, TOOO. THINGS WLL HAPPEN ~* ! fanservice for annie ~* ;) HAHA
Thank you so much, Annie! THIS REVIEW HAS MADE ME REALLY EXCITED TO KEEP WRITING THIS STORY. WHE. Hot Albus & Hot James & Hot Xavier and bad sister + two ridiculously silly friends = dramadramadramaconflict!humor
You are a superstaaar. I LOFF YOUU.
♥ ♥ ♥ Report Review
I love how Clemence always seems to open the chapter with... almost an editorial? It seems very fitting for a newspaper chick and i love that. It really fits the story I think.
"New developments in Hogwarts are hardly ever good, and if they are, they turn bad very quickly." You have never said a truer sentence my dear.
HOMICIDAL PIRATE GINA WHAT EVEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE. OTL THERE IS EVEN AN EXPLANATION FOR IT SO YOU'RE NOT JUST LIKE 'HELLO HOMICIDAL PIRATE ON THE LINE PLEASE HOLD' I CAN'T
"Remember: quirky today, quirky for life!" -fullbodyshudder-
OMG man-shaped food. This is the creepiest thing omg stop what are you doing QGA. Think about your lives, think about your choices. Except the bicep lollies. I'll take one of those.
IT'S NOT CHEATING IF YOU'RE HIS TRUE LOVE. Gina I am getting really horrible kpop fandom feels right now and it's quite revolting a;kjsdhgalkdjhgalkjdfgh
yesss Clemence, fight with him. Back him up, if you know what I'm saying. RAWR.
OMG GINA THAT IS NOT THE END
W H Y
ALL THE UST FEELS AND THEN YOU JUST LEAVE IT LIKE THAT GRRR
PITCHFORK TO THE EXTREME.
AnnieAuthor's Response: lol Annie, that's how I info dump shhh.
I just feel the constant need to table flip all the good times in Hogwarts~
STILL JUDGING MYSELF FOR WRITING THAT PART. LIKE, "REALLY, GINA, A PIRATE GHOST. YOU'RE LOSING IT." OMG WOULD BARNACLES BE WORKING AT A CALL CENTER? GOD, THAT /WOULD/ KILL A GHOST'S SPIRIT.
I saw a meatloaf in the shape of bieb's head. This is how I get ideas man. It's reality D:
(OPPAR LOVES YOU.)
THAT IS THE END (of this chapter).
♥ Report Review
So. I've been meaning to come by and review something of yours for ages because all of my friends can't stop talking about your writing, and now I am going to embarrass myself by having a bought of capslock
UGH THIS IS SO THE REALITY I WANTED I JUST UGHHH I LOVE WELL-WRITTEN REMUS/SIRIUS AND AN ACTUAL LOVELY AU AND THIS IS JUST ALL OF THE GOOD THINGS
Ahem, now that that is over, haha. It's really good to see an AU that I can really get behind here on the archives. It's a really underused genre and there is so much that could be done with it, it makes me sad that more people don't give it a try (of course, this could just make more opportunities for badfic, but you never know),
I think my favorite part was the opening. I learned so much about their relationship in only a few lines, about both Remus and Sirius' characters, and it was a great way to draw me in.
"Don't," he says, shrugging away from arms that have always held him together but are now threatening to tear him apart. this blew me away. I got such a visual and a feel for the whole scene just from that one little idea. This argument was very real feeling actually, because it wasn't really even an argument, just two people reacting to very deep betrayals of trust (one false, but it certainly felt real at the time), and their reactions really grabbed my heart, because I think I would have done the same in their place.
My other favorite part was, of course, the end. The picture of the three of them, Remus, Sirius and baby Harry, all together in a too-small bed, with Remus crying and Sirius kissing his fingers -- it's all so raw feeling, and I was really struck, in the same way that Remus was, about how young they all were when this happened. They were just about my age, and that really brought this home for me and drew it all together.
Definitely enjoyed this!
Annie Report Review
omg my heart is just so full right now. This is honestly one of the cutest things I have read in my whole time in fanfiction, and definitely one of the best representations of the Weasley family that I've come across.
I was actually sent here by Melissa (witnesstoitall) who was gushing about this, and I have to say that all her praise was definitely warranted. I think watching the older two try and keep the younger kids in line was my favorite part, possibly because I'm the youngest in my family.
Really, this was great and cute and well-written to boot! Totally brightened up my day!
AnnieAuthor's Response: Hello Annie! I'm Arielle!
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I'm so glad you liked it! I have to tell you I'm a fan of Help Wanted so this is so cool! I kind of based the Weasley's off my own family, like my little sister is the exact copy of little Ginny.
Again thank you! Report Review
Ginny is often treated like a two dimensional character, and I'm impressed that you chose to use this to flesh her out a bit. She lost a lot in the war, and nearly lost more, and I thought her reactions and feelings were very well done.
I especially thought that her need to get home, to see Harry, was fitting, because it hasn't been that long and she has seen him lying dead on the floor before. That's enough to make anyone paranoid. There was some really good description, I especially thought the opening was well done. Good job!
AnnieAuthor's Response: I have noticed that Ginny never seems to have much to her character, and I think that's why I choose her for this. I felt that her emotions could be fairly well done with her, and I knew it had to go with her character. I am very glad you enjoyed how her character was written. And Harry's line...that was just the slight hint of a lighter topic that seemed almost required in this. And the opening was just...that part flowed so easily and a part of me that was upset was definately left in that piece. I'm really glad you read, reviewed and enjoyed this!
~Grimmerz Report Review
Going all the way back to the beginning with the Black sisters is such a bold thing to do. I know tonnes of writers that have written them as teenagers and young adults, but it is really rare to see them as children.
I thought you really captured their personalities (as far as they have been formed to this point anyway) well! Bella's fearlessness, Andromeda's kindness and willingness to break the rules, and Narcissa's tendency to be a follower -- they all come across quite nicely in this little scene.
Even more, I love that you wrote them as children because it made me start thinking about how their relationships must have changed as they got older and wonder if things maybe were different after the end of the war? Anyway, I really love the angle you're coming from with this and it'll be interesting to see where it goes!
AnnieAuthor's Response: I confess that I was nervous about writing them as children, but I thought it was necessary for the story to go where I wanted it to... so I tried it out!
I wanted to reflect a bit who they would grow up to be, but still show that they were children. I firmly believe that even Bellatrix wasn't evil as a child. :P
The idea of their relationships and how it changed over the years was partially what inspired this, and this is my attempt to begin to scratch the surface of a rather complicated family. Thank you very much for the review! :) Report Review
GINA YOU DISCO-ING JELLYFISH.
I remember all the flailing that went into this chapter and I have to say that now that I see it as a whole, it was totally worth it. The breakfast scene totally cracked me up -- Bea crawling under the table to give Fred a hug LOL. I also thought there was lots of really good ~character development~ which I know you are afeared of. DON'T BE. DAS ESS GUT. I did miss Scorpius in this chapter though, and Anjali and her sexy legs. Franjali MUST PREVAIL -runs off to make shipping banner and paints face with war paint-
Bea cleared her throat so loudly that nearby Ravenclaws turned, wondering whether a Norwegian Ridgeback had somehow made its way to their common room. What was that? Oh, it's just Bea, the resident Ravenclaw dragon. NBD.
Rose Weasley will not be used like a tissue! Rose using third person had me pissing. She is such a . Prefect
Little did they know, their words had done their deed and the saccharine sympathy Bea once would have gladly welcomed now tasted as bitter as cough syrup. There is nothing worse than ruining Bea's enjoyment of sugar. Monsters.
I DEMAND MORE SCORP GIVE IT TO ME I DEMAND ITTT.
AnnirAuthor's Response: ANNIR YOU GIFFING MADWOMAN.
DAS GUT? You know, I don't think it was ever the character development itself that scared me, but the entirely long-winded approach I take to it. Because I let my characters flail around so much and have SUDDEN PARAGRAPHS OF INTROSPECTION flanked by crack and waffles. Yep.
Bea makes /entrances/.
STOP BEING SUCH A HERMIONE, ROSE, especially because you lack the awesome.
I love that the optimism in this fic is judged by its level of desserts. It is strangely appropriate.
I KNOW, SUCH A VOID OF THE VELVET BLAZER. Sadness.
♥ Report Review
So this was possibly the most adorably wonderful thing I've read in a while. I don't really even know exactly how to articulate how much I enjoyed it. The idea actually makes perfect sense! A place as magical as Hogwarts, teaming with teenage hormones, there could very well be Cupids flying around!
I think my favorite bits were when Cariad tried to get Hermione to have a crush on Harry (I laughed at that a lot) and the Lavender part (poor poor LavLav, it wasn't even her fault in the end). You did a great job of following this through the books and keeping me interested with the little details even though I already knew the story.
Great job with a really cute and inventive idea!
AnnieAuthor's Response: Aw - I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I'm very proud of this little story, it seemed to work out really well.
Thanks so much for the lovely feedback, it means a lot to me to know that people are enjoying reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Report Review
This kind of missing moment is one of my favorite types of stories. There is so much space left over from canon that it seems a shame not to explore it.
I will honestly say that in my time reading fanfic (and it's been... a long time, we'll just say), I have avoided songfics like the plague. The way the song is used is always too cheesy and usually breaks up the writing's flow and I just find it distracting. That being said, I really enjoyed you're concept for this, especially the ending, where Mulciber, a Slytherin, somehow had enough nobility to want to save his girlfriend from his own bad choices. It was a really good angle to come from.
My only criticism would be about the formatting, which I can sympathize with because formatting on here can sometimes be really annoying. The spacing made it a bit of a chore to read, and I'm not sure if you meant for only the first line of each section of the song to be italicized, but I think if the whole of the song lyrics were in italics, it would be a little less confusing.
It was interesting to read about a scene I had never contemplated before. Thank you!
AnnieAuthor's Response: Hi! I'm glad this story worked out for you. I'm a big fan of missing moments too. :D
It's good to here that you enjoyed it, especially coming from a great writer like you. :D Oh, the formatting... an edited version has been submitted to the queue, so hopefully there won't be any formatting problems then.
~Khanh Report Review
I think I can speak for most of us when I say that I have definitely had days where I felt the way Eloise feels. As someone who went through an awful awkward phase when I was around 11 or 12 (or 13 or 14 haha), I remember thinking a lot like her. I feel like you depicted her Hollywood-ized version of beauty very well.
At the time, Eloise had wondered how such a cruel thing could come out of such a beautiful mouth. Her mind had been grappling for an explanation in her bewilderment. But as Eloise had soon learnt, you could get away with anything when you were beautiful. Making cruel remarks as your forte meant being popular.
This, in particular, struck a chord with me. Why is it that such beautiful people can say such awful things? I remember the first time a male barrista gave me free coffee, sometime in late high school, and my friend had elbowed me and said I looked really pretty that day. Well, I thought, free coffee for being pretty? When you look at it that way, sometimes the price of obsession seems kind of worth it.
Sorry to ramble. This just got me thinking a lot -- the mark of a good start, I think. The fact that you've made me empathize with Eloise this deeply so far is a really great start! I'm interested to meet Justin and see what he thinks of Eloise, and vice versa!
AnnieAuthor's Response: HEY! :) Thank you!
Haven't we all? :P I have had innumerable times when I thought like Eloise as well, but I've grown past that stage now (hopefully). Ah, yes. Eloise is a tad dramatic. I think it gives her a little respite at thinking such ill of the world.
Yep, that's sad but so true in society. And her obsession is justified, really, in a way. :)
Aww...thank you! You're far too kind to me! I'm glad you liked it, thanks! :)
Have a wonderful day!
Vanya. Report Review
The beginning of this has to be one of my all-time favorite openings to a story. For some reason, that opening paragraph says so much about Astoria's character, her motivations (or non-motivations, as the case may be) and her state of mind.
There is also something about your... syntax in this story that is kind of addicting. The flow of descriptions that seems utterly unique to Astoria's mind and it keeps drawing me from paragraph to paragraph until there is no more and I'm still not ready to be finished yet.
There was no Hogwarts; only a yearning, and a small thing that said stillness will catch you.
She wanted to crawl inside of herself and hatch inside of her own womb, birth her own self out again and start over, somewhere new, somewhere she didn't and never could exist.
These two passages completely blew my mind. I don't really even know what else to say. Beautiful writing, Lily. I can't wait to read more :)
AnnieAuthor's Response: WHAT A COMPLIMENT. I'm floored, honestly.
Syntax is one of the best tools you can manipulate. Poetry workshop really has forced me to look at syntax as a really powerful tool--i look at the ordering of information in a sentence the same way as i look at choosing one word over another. it's effective, i think, and it makes writing a lot like solving a puzzle.
Thanks so much Annie! A devout fan as I am of your writing it's always lovely to hear that I'm doing something right, at least in your almighty eyes. (h) Report Review
JANECHEL I --
The way you told this story blew my mind! I know how you hate writing out of order, but the chaos of it all really worked to show Harry's descent into madness. Silly crazy Harry.
I think he really just needed a hug.
Anyway. I think my favorite parts were the little bits about him looking/not looking at the floor. It seemed to be the perfect way to start weaving the paranoia into everything, because what person is afraid of looking at the floor?
The Ron and Hermione bits too. Those were totally brilliant and the part where Ron quit the Aurors was so... hard to read. Poor crazy Harry :( Your description seemed to be just right to help convey the mood too!
Totally enjoyed this to the max!
AnnieAuthor's Response: ANNIE Y U SO AWEZOME.
I am speechless. YOU'RE AMAZING AND YOU NEED TO GET ON SKYPE SOON SO I CAN HAVE MORE DRARRY.
(That's about the extent of comprehensive babble I can spew in relation to your review.)
♥ Report Review
THIS IS SUCH A BAD IDEA. IT IS LIKE, COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF BAD. A WHOLE MOUNTAIN OF BAD.
She reminds me of those people we all know that are really fun to be around until they get a certain idea and then they go completely rabid trying to make it a reality and you know, they mean well, really they do, but sometimes they're just so crazy that they just miss things like morals and tact and it's impossible to point it out because by then they're just so crazy with the idea that there is no hope and then the whole world explodes in a giant mushroom cloud of insanity and everyone dies.
Anyway. The bit about the classes (how long are class periods ?) had me in stitches because it's just so true. Also, Neil is a dominating dreamboat, sign me up! Especially as he's Oliver's kid, I am super into that.
I'm dying to know how this whole Rose thing goes. I feel like Neil is going to get in a whole lot deeper than he intends and it's not going to be pretty.
Annie Report Review
God why is Rose so scary? She probably like... sharpens her teeth before bed each night or something. I was sure she was going to bite one of Izzy's arms off at one point. And of course she would like the crazy!hot Wood boy. Because horrible couples have this bad habit of making themselves up.
Anywayyy, I missed seeing Albus in this chapter, but Libby showing emotion more than made up for it. I think the thing I like the most about Izzy at this point is that she knows what she's doing is ridic and shameless but she's going for it anyways.
"I'm hijacking one witch's present for my own ulterior motives. I'm going to drug Rose Weasley so she never finds out that I'm double-crossing her. Before this second I've never heard the word shame." If she ends up actually drugging Rose because the Neil thing falls through, I will never stop laughing.
"I still find it weird that you're already fantasizing about having his babies."
"Better be prepared than be taken by surprise!" Good logic Izzy. Pity you can't seem to use any of that in your actual life. Though, if you did, this story would probably be really boring. So good on you then!
Hi, Faith. Sorry, but the party's off. I'll tell you why, but I'll have to kill you.
(I like that one.) That whole section, including the part where Izzy goes off talking about how she hasn't thought about where her and Albus' wedding is going to be, was completely hysterical. Loling forever over here.
Shipping Libby/Scorpius like the Queen Elizabeth.
Annie Report Review
Oh God Izzy. WHY.
This is like watching a train wreck. And yet it is the most entertaining, sugar-infested, narcolepsy-induced train wreck ever, so that makes it okay. Even more fun to watch, when the train crashes and there is a cloud of powdered sugar and the sound of a million balloons popping on impact. THE PARTY EXPRESS, YO.
But yes, Izzy has got herself into a tight spot. Or well, she will have herself in a tight spot soon. I can feel it. I can practically taste it. I can't wait to see Faith's reaction, and Rose's too.
Faith looked like a Dutch caterpillar (never seen one, but I bet it looks squishy and has braids) Laughed for a good three minutes at that mental image. I bet Ditch caterpillars will only eat Tulip leaves. Picky twits.
Forget Firenze. I'm the new hot crazy Seer at Hogwarts. Not a weird narcoleptic. Not at all. If this became an Al/OC seer story, I would love you forever. Like, what if Izzy had a narcolepsy dream about how the party ends up going and then it actually came true. That would blow my mind.
Izzy, this is the sugariest con ever and I fully support you! Mostly for entertainment value, but whatever. It'll be fun!
(also, Gubbs, I adore your dialogue tags. Though you should know.)
Annie Report Review
So yah. Gubbers. I am reading this from ze beginning to show you how much I like it, because my approval indicates koala-tea (please ignore my deep, innate love of trash).
Libby is very close to my heart, mostly because she reminds me of myself on days where I don't drink enough coffee and I can sympathize with hating the whole world and then over-thinking the expressions your face is making when they guy you like is around and then its like, omg why are you so awkward just act like you don't care why have you stopped breathing and its all just very difficult.
Life is hard, you know.
Of course, Izzy is completely psychotic. What kind of person loves sugar and hates frosting? A truly insane one, that's what kind.
To show my appreciation, I have compiled some of my favorite lines from this chapter:
Never tell Libby this, but I might have narcolepsy.
Explains the dreams.
Or-other option-I am a seer.
I like that one better. So do I, Izzy. You would make a lovely seer OC for Albus, I'm sure.
Albus couldn't not like his birthday. That went against my entire plan. It ripped my existential love letter to existential shreds and threw it into the existential fiery pits of existential hell. An avalanche of existentialism. Pity I never actually learned what that was in English class...
I could add those to my diet. Balloons, biscuits, and boys' smiles. Has a ring to it. This makes her sound like the old witch from Hansel and Gretel. Next thing you know, she'll end up trying to cook Albus in a birthday cake instead of throwing the actual party.
ANYWHO. LOVED IT.
Annie Report Review
CHINO (yeah, I know. Doesn't really sound like Gina, but I ran out of ideas. Deal with it.)
I want a Pickett of my own, I really do. Annie Pickett. It has a lovely ring to it. And so would our marriage. Have a lovely ring, I mean.
As for Dom. Something tells me she may be being two-timed (at first I typed double-teamed, but that looked wrong) and while I would love to ship her with Pickett instead, he is mine and so, she will have to go off and have a deep and torrid affair with... um... Oliver Wood's son. And Rose will eventually dump Scorpius for being such a prat and um... become a lesbian. Or something.
I think I'm getting off track here.
Anywho, Albus would have all the crazy fangirls. Mystery attracts them like moths to a pretty lightbulb, and you know what happens to the moths? THEY GET BURNED.
Ok seriously, this is the worst review ever. I'm just babbling here. I could talk for a long time about how I think that having a name like Apostrophe has really damaged that girl's psyche and that no one should blame her for being a moron. But well. Yeah.
I hope the next chapter involves broom closets.
AnnieAuthor's Response: DEALING WITH IT LIKE GLASSES!SHO
ANNIE PICKETT FENCE.
Okay enough shouting random things. I've said much about the issue on Rose/Scor/Dom and I -still- am not entirely sure how I want to deal with it. I've got a couple options. They're all batshank crazy.
You're getting off track? Look at me.
Better than broom closets, baby. Report Review
I have decided. I want my very own Picket. Mail him to me at your earliest convenience. Preferably with a bow attached.
Dom is... exactly what she should be. With her parents, it would be hard to believe if she suddenly came over all tame. She's too reckless and fun for something like that, but no matter what she does, she will always be likable.
In the same way, Albus is just as he should be as well, the prat. Whatever he is planning, he is extremely pleased with himself, and he really gives the sense that his whole being is filled with the Potter talent of know what is "right". He's a son after Harry's own heart, innie?
I have decided that he is actually dating himself. The wedding is set for Spring 2012 and they will be gloriously happy together. I expect an invitation.
Thank you for making chess sexy.
AnnieAuthor's Response: ANNERINA.
I will mail him wearing only a bow. Will that be okay?
CONFESSION: Your view of the next gen kids totally inspired the versions in this fic. Spoiled, kind of reckless, living the celebrity life and everyone kind of hates each other. And HOMGGG You know exactly how Albus is. He's got the whole black and white ~superior~ morality of being Harry's son. He think he's so cool with his justice. Pffft, look at what justice did to Teddy.
I would totally be all over that wedding.
♥ Chess is curvacious. Report Review
Thanks to you, I am stuck with thinking of the word "tussle" as a euphemism for the rest of my life. Apparently, Clemence thinks so too, silly girl. That's the oldest trick in the book!
But you know, Albus is in trouble now. In the words of Terry Boot, girls are a bit like angry bulls: if you don't make eye-contact they forget you exist. He made eye-contact. Basically, she is never going to forget him ever.
And Pickett. Dear, darling Pickett. I feel like we are two of a kind. We should get married and have lots of awkward, statistic-spouting children. What? I'm just saying.
I see a lot of you in Clemence, in the best possible way. Her thoughts during the duel remind me so much of you and I know that her reaction to losing will be along the same lines.
UST is the best way to brighten up someone's day!
AnnieAuthor's Response: ANNIDIA
Now my goal is to make you think of "treacle" as the same, because in my mind, when you say "tussle" I hear "tressle". Complicated, but it all makes sense in my mind. Mwahaha.
HE AWOKE THE SLEEPING DRAGON. Not like Mushu, who just sort of chipped the sleeping dragon's ear.
Sam Claflin babies ♥
I AM SO FLATTERED YOU THINK I COULD BE HALF AS CLEMENCE-Y AS CLEMENCE. She is too awesome and witty and calm; I am more like Hugo spazz with flaily arms and J.P.P.P.P on my side.
YOU BRIGHTEN UP MY DAY ♥ Report Review
I'm glad I decided to start back at the beginning when rereading this. I think watching the build up of UST between Al and Clemence is a necessity. Also, Hugo is just... what a spazbot. I adore him so.
To me, Clemence is the perfect example of a true Slytherin. She's ambitious and able to separate out her emotions for that ambition, and most of all, she is able to understand people on a more... clinical (? that's not the right word, but whatever) level, which enables her to see how they can fit into her plans in a really useful way. It's not that she uses people exactly. It's not true, evil manipulation. She simply can see what they do best clearly and uses that to her advantage. In a fandom where Slytherins are typecast and trash-talked almost universally, this is like running into Chris Pine at your local cinema and then having him invite you out to dinner and then going home with him and ... respecting him all night long.
Basically, it's the best thing ever. And I'm not just saying that because I'm your friend. I SPEAKETH THE TRUTH.
Love it darling. Off to read more!
AnnieAuthor's Response: ANNIIIR
So much gratuitous UST and so many filler chapters to make so I can fill them up with it. HUGO IS THE CORGI OF ETC ETC.
We've had our long conversation on Clemence already, and you know of my famed loffs for you. She's mastered the 'practical' view of people, but it's also so easy for her to think she's figured it all out when she's sixteen and still in school. And your Chris Pine comment ♥ so much respect.
LOFF YOUUU. Report Review
Dude. I have gotten to read two great one-shots about minor characters in two days. Basically, this is the best birthday present ever.
I like the angle you took with tis. Fudge is a hard character to get into get inside of and I think you did that excellently here. That lurching feeling you get when you're caught in a lie, I like how you used that. And the river. I kept thinking he might throw himself into it and it kind of chilled me.
The murky waters below you moved ever so slowly now, making the tiniest of ripples as it passed you and you wondered what it would be like to become one with it, to go wherever it took you, to be far away from this miserable place. Once upon a time you wouldn’t have dreamed of such things but circumstances change people, they certainly changed you.
Those lines were so well written. I read them over a few times and they really made a good picture in my head.
Enjoyed this so much! What a great snapshot!
AnnieAuthor's Response: Annie!
I'm really glad you enjoyed this and read it on your birthday!
You're the only person who picked up on that! I tried to make it as subtle as I could though. But yes, that's exactly what he wanted to do - throw himself over the edge. Probably because of shame and the extreme guilt he felt after all that had happened. Circumstances really do change people whether they like it or not. It's what makes this sad but also makes him even more of a coward for wanting to give up. Maybe he wasn't as strong to begin with.
It's a rather sobering story with a very unfortunate character. Those lines were my favourites to write (hopefully that doesn't sound too morbid:/) Those and the very last line.
Thank you so much for your review!
Lia Report Review
I adore pre-hogwarts stories. I know that technically it's maurader's era, but I'm not going to split hairs with myself when I should be leaving you a review for this beautifully written one-shot!
I've always wondered about Marlene. People seem to like to pair her with Sirius, but I've never really thought that fit. She was very... real here. I liked her. She felt like someone I could run into in my life, and I think that made her death so much more tragic. I also adore Fabian and Gideon. I've never written them (mostly because I think I would probably end up with some desperately sad story again like with Hestia Jones) but now I don't think I ever will, because this has kind of become my canon.
Her gossamer curls caught and tangled amongst drooping garlands of holly tacked to the shelves. - this line really stood out to me. I could see the scene so easily. Beautiful description used in exactly the right way.
Great writing! I really enjoyed this!
AnnieAuthor's Response: Yes, I wasn't sure which era to place it in, I think it falls in the gap between Marauders and Pre-Hogwarts. If it had an actual Marauder as a main character I might have put it in Marauders. I'll move it if need be later on :)
Marlene & Sirius might have had a thing in the past, I'm still not sure about that, but if I ever continue this story I'll be sure to answer that question! ;)
I'm especially glad you liked the image of Marlene's hair stuck to the holly, that was one of my favorites as I was writing; she seems like the kind of character who really didn't notice whether her hair looked bad or her hems were coming down, her focus was so intense. Thanks so much for your kind review :) Report Review
How have you never mentioned this? WHY DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS. I am going to make everyone read it and then they will tell you how silly you are for not telling us about this.
Oh Dudley. I always like to pretend that he changed, but the way you wrote him here is too fitting to dispute. He treated his wife like his mother had let him treat her and it is shocking. He's just so incredibly lazy and ... fat. It's like he had stopped being a person, a functioning member of society, and had turned into part of his easy chair, with a vacuum attachment for biscuit consumption.
It's a chilling idea, and the ending, with the ring disappearing into the floor, is perfect.
Awesome one-shot darling!
AnnieAuthor's Response: ANNIEEE
Dudley is gross, which is why I try to pretend that this one-shot doesn't exist. The only reason it has gotten any reads at all is because lovely Janechel has a fondness for it and likes to spread the gross-o Dudley around to unsuspecting people.
Thank you for reading and reviewing, dollface. :) Report Review
I have always had a soft spot in my heart for Teddy/Dom, so it's good to see a chaptered fic for them on the archives!
For some reason, I've never really liked Victoire much, but I'm really interested to hear her side of this story. What does she think about Teddy after having had something with him for so long? Most, if not all, of Teddy's feelings in this chapter seem to come purely from Dominiques perception of them, which I thought was a really nice technique to use, especially when dealing with a love triangle. It makes it really easy to empathize with the character you're with at that moment and try and see things from their side, whether or not you agree.
Your description was really pretty and I thought it flowed really well! Great job!
AnnieAuthor's Response: Oh, I'm glad you like it! I really like the idea of Teddy/Dominique, myself.. ^_^
I like Victoire, myself, but in this one I wanted to focus more on Dom's side of the story; I know that there are two sides but hers was the one I was more interested in.
Thank you so, so much! :D
-Jasmine Report Review
I remember when you first told me your idea for this story a looonnng time ago, and I thought it was so unique. I really think you've outdone yourself with the descriptions in this chapter. Everything seems so... light, airy. There is space in every sentence to stop and picture the scene and I think it fits the mountaintop perfectly. All the words seem shiny and sparkly and clean like snow and cold mountain air.
In particular, I loved these two lines. They both really stuck with me.
It was as though she stood in the centre of a pristine gem strung on a delicate thread, which way her world swayed depended only on the direction she chose. The picture this paints, as well as the feeling, is awesome.
So this is what happens to those whose dreams are bigger than the earth. Left me totally speechless. So perfect.
I also adore Luna's dialogue. It is just quirky enough to be her and her with Rolf is just love. I can't wait to see them meet up again!
As always this was a total joy to read. Lovelovelove!
AnnieAuthor's Response: crap. Archive ate my response. :(
Okay. Let me try and remember what all I had said... it was a really nice response.
Light and airy... I am thrilled that those are the two adjectives you used to describe this!! I worry that I push the envelope too far with description and that the readers may drown. :P I'm so happy that there is space between the description-y words to actual see what I'm describing.
I actually couldn't believe that I wrote the second line that you pointed out. I went back and scanned the chapter for it. :)
I want to thank you for this review. Literally, this review is what prompted me to begin rewriting chapter three after losing the written version that I had lost. Thank you.
Lots of love.
Melissa Report Review
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