You know what's really strange? How I've read this exact chapter half a year ago and now I sit here reading it again and feel a jolt of excitement pass through my body. Being back is fun. ^^ But before I start reviewing I just need to let one thing out : YOU DID NOT TELL ME THAT YOU UPDATED!!!
OK, now to your review:
The descriptions you used were beautiful and the imagery that you create is so...poetic and if you improve on them any further (without overcrowding any lines) then you might give Robert Frost a run for his money. The only thing I can think of that you could improve on is rechecking your work after it has been written and I was your beta and I'm sorry for parts that I missed but just recheck after I've rechecked. I hope that made sense. ^_^
So, it's the beginning of the ultimate fanfic Seven Days by the extraordinaire Carol. I'm looking forward to reading what you bring to the table next! Happy writing!Author's Response: u know i feel kinda sad
that u were like my first reveiwer
instead of someone that i dint know
cause u have to review as ur kinda me friend
i dont even know if i'm continueing either so yeah okay
thanks for beta - ing
seya Report Review
Beautiful. Gorgeous. Wonderful. Extraordinary. I would have never thought that a story without a slight hint to romance could be that interesting and to think you wrote this one-shot, without the characters we all know and love from the wizarding world, just amazes me.
Your descriptions are deep and meaningful and the way you structured your sentences and dialogue really intrigued me. Each of your sentences flow into each other really well as well. ^_^
I don't know if anyone has told you this before, but this story kind of reminds me of Stephenie Meyer's The Host. Maybe it's the mentioning of souls that alludes to that idea...hehe, got a bit off track there...
Annyywaayy, this was a great story! 10/10! :DAuthor's Response: Holy wow, this has just made my day! I am so totally and completely ecstatic that you liked this :] Romance has become overrated and many of my stories focus elsewhere, so it is my hope that this showed you that romance doesn't have to be in a story ^_^
I'm glad you liked my descriptions! I have been told that this is not my best descriptive piece, so it nice to hear that a reader liked it :]
I have never read 'The Host', nor has anyone told me. That is supposed to be good, I assume, so thank you ^_^
Thank you so, so much for your amazing review! Report Review
I don't even know how to begin to critique this story. I never dreamed in a million years that I'd ever feel sorry for or sympathize with Voldemort but you've definitely changed that now.
What you wrote was beautiful, and even though you used less description and more simple sentences compared to many of your other stories, the images you create in my mind--and any readers mind--is so vivid and clear that it had almost overwhelmed me. The fire scene was gorgeous and how you mentioned Johnny just made me feel connected to the character though I don't even know him. You know how many authors get the reader to understand the character through lots of dialogue or description? Well, you've definitely introduced a new way of introducing a character. And my, oh my, is it effective! ^^
This was a great story and I'd love to see what other stories (including the strangest characters) that you come up with! This is ruddy awesome!Author's Response: O_O. It's yoU! *hugs* Well, hiya! Wow...thank you so very much for this meaningful review! This was actually a paper for school I wrote a while back that I twisted around to fit little Voldy. It was a completely epic fail for class, because the situation without the magical aspect of HP didn't work well at all and was not believable, but I'm so glad you thought it worked with Tom. And you felt sorry for him! That is exactly what I wanted for readers to feel, and it's great to know at least one person felt it. Once again, thanks soo much for reviewing, my friend! ^_^ I hope you're fairing well! Report Review
Whoa, that was wow. Amazing. I have seriously been rendered speechless by this chapter. But the ending...YOU LEFT IT WITH A CLIFFIE! Update now. :))Author's Response: Thank you!!! : ) I`m happy you like it! : )
I`ll update soon!
~Greta Report Review
Aw, what happened to your wrist? I hope you feel better now! *huggles tightly* That was a great chapter and I cannot wait to read the next chapter. And I was right! I knew that Dommanic was Draco! Ha! :)) Infinite/10!Author's Response: I thought i broke it. turns out the socket joint busted. : ( It feels better now! haha.
Thanks again, love : ) i`m glad you enjoyed it!!! haha.
~Greta Report Review
Dommanic...hmm, I keep thinking he's Draco in disguise for some reason. Maybe it's because his last name rhymes with Malfoy. But seriously, everyone's falling for everyone else that they've just met. First, Ron thought Pansy was an attractive Slytherin, then came Neville and Cho making out in a broom cupboard (that one threw me off guard^_^) then Hermione with Draco and now with Dommanic who I think is Draco in disguise. If it were it I'd be saying "YOU CHEEKY CUTE LITTLE THING" but I'll just have to read on and see.
Great job with the chapter by the way. The imagery and the life of a 'noble' was all mapped out very clearly and precisely. I bet if someone from the Victorian age woke up from the dead and read this they would be proud. :)) Infinite/10!Author's Response: That could be very true... haha. : ) Cheeky, cute? me?! nooo. haha. lol. Its fun writing, though. : )
~Greta Report Review
I just love your relationship plans for the characters. Love is sprouting in the most unexpected of places. And that part where you said "that was a sexually-charged look, the one that said I'm-going-to-do-stuff-with-you look" was hilarious! Sexually charged...that line ties with the Neville being a champion knitter. :) I have 3 more chapters to go! You don't need to wish me luck, I don't need that kind of motivation to continue. The story is great on its own! ^_^ Infinite/10!Author's Response: Aw, thanks Daisy. : ) It is sprouting like weeds. haha. Neville and knitting. Man, I love that kid. Anyway, keep going! I wont wish you luck... lol. but I apprecitae you letting me know what you thihnk anyway!
~Greta Report Review
Holy sheebies, Cho and Neville? Seriously?! Honey, you really do not have any boundaries at all with your writing. The style and the description you incorporate goes with the story very well and everything just flows. If I had read any other Neville/Cho pairing I would've died but you, you really have taken surprise to the next level. And the paragraph about Neville being a champion knitter and “Here lies Neville, the knitter" was absolutely priceless. I really laughed out loud at that paragraph and I must've read it over at least 3 times by now. ^_^
I don't usually say much about your flaws but just watch out for your spelling and you're missing a couple of words in this chapter. But other than that you did an awesome job and I'm definitely going to read on. Even if I will probably die from the stress of finishing loads of homework tomorrow. Do today, and regret tomorrow. That's the rule I'm going to live by until I finish reading this story.
Daisy.Author's Response: Yup. Seriously. I don`t have boundaries. It just seemed... fit, I guess. : ) It`s alot of fun. And Neville and his knitting. Loads sf fun!
I do have some spelling stuff, but whatever. I`ll have to get a beta soon!
~Greta Report Review
Loving this story, Greta, you could not have done any better than you are doing now. Keep up the good work and I think I never could be disappointed in you. You bring new stuff to the table everything we, the readers, click open the new chapter's link and you hold a surprise at every corner and your endings continue to draw me in. You're doing such a great job with this story and I wish I could hug you in congratulations but sadly, I'm all the way in Australia. Well, you've definitely won over many hearts with this story. :))Author's Response: Thanks, Daisy : )
Each chapter just gets better, I think. I`m almost afraid to go back to chapter one... haha. And then the endings. : ) Gotta love those cliffies~ haha. I wouldn`t say that I`ve won alot of people over, but thank you : )
~Greta Report Review
I love this story to ruddy bits. Gosh, it's impossible not to read on and I'm supposed to be doing homework which is due on Monday now! Oh goodness, I'll have to do it tomorrow. :)Author's Response: Haha, thanks, love!!! : )
Oo. But homework before Fanon. Really. It`s important!
~Greta Report Review
Once again, I'm reviewing as I read this chapter so I'm warning you about the scary length it might have. Teeheehee, I'm making up--well, I'm trying to make up for the times I wasn't here to see you update. Wow, I sound like a weirdo mother that hasn't see her child off to college and I'm now seriously off topic. Anyway, here's how my real (hehe) review should look like:
The introduction jumps straight into the story and the telling of the story using the word 'she' in the first sentence is a great technique. I don't know about everyone else who waited for this update, but I think that connecting the beginning of this chapter with the end of the previous really makes me feel closer to the story, as though it's happening right this moment in the wizarding world. You did a smashing job with that. ^_^ However, there is a little flaw that I'd like to point out: you mentioned in chapter 16 that Theo had forest green eyes and in the beginning of this one, you described them as amber or ochre. Maybe you lost yourself in the exciting plot of the story but that little flaw doesn't really matter. The rest just buries it. :))
And Susan as a prostitute? Honey, you really outdid yourself with the creativity. The description of her dress, her new looks and the idea of shrinking the Lioness was so very smart. I laugh at the innkeeper being slapped by his wife. And Harry liking Hermione! I thought that was the last thing that would appear in this story though I kind of knew it was coming in some part of my subconsciousness but you, Greta, do not have any boundaries at all. You are a freelance author and I love it.
And just in case I haven't told you before, I just love your ending lines. Luckily for the next few chapters, you will not have me screaming "YOU LEFT ME WITH A CLIFFIE!!" But beware, when I catch up with the rest of your fans I will be among the loudest (figuratively, of course). :)) Off to read the next one!Author's Response: WOW.
Another long review. INSANE>
It`s ok. You don`t have to to make up for the times you weren`t here... Because you were here in spirit. haha. But it`s ok, you do n`t seem like mother at all. haha.
The inrtoduction is alot of fun always, but this time, I had just cut it from the last chapter because the paragraph didn`t fit, and whala: recycled introduction! : )
Susan. she`s insane, but totally fun. Harry was odd, and I HATE the pairing, so don`t worry. If I won`t subject myself to that kind of tortue, I won`t subject you guys to that kind of torture : )
Thanks for my cliffies! haha. : ) I love them, but anyway, Thank you for reviewing! You`re amamzing ; )
~Greta Report Review
I like that last line. This chapter was exciting. I have to read on! See what fanfiction can do to you when you come back to find it improved in a hundred different ways! Infinite/10.Author's Response: Thank you! Go ahead, read, read! You don`t have to leave review if you dont want!
~Greta Report Review
NJ!! I haven't been on for so long and guess what?! I read this update first! It's great and I'm eagerly waiting for the next one. When are you gonna update?
I think that Draco and Charna are really getting somewhere now...oh, I just can't wait to see how the rest of the story develops. Keep up the great work! 10/10.Author's Response: Aw, Daisy!!! That's sweet. *beams* Thank you, I'm so pleased you liked it! As I've told you, I haven't started the next chapter yet, but you've motivated me so I'll try and get it up ASAP!! :D
Oooh, I'm glad you think so, I think so too! Yay, thanks for your review! Report Review
Whoot whoot! You go NJ! That was one awesome chapter...but a bit short *pouts* Daisy wants more action and she really wants to see how Charna plans on 'getting' Harry. :)) And I see you've added some humor lines to lighten the tension in the air, eh? And you're last line always ends with Charna or Draco pining after the other. I find that cute and funny. I will be talking to you soon! Cheers to you! 100/10!Author's Response: Hey DAISY! Go me, I agree. xD Short? Damn... Uh... I'll TRY to make them longer, no promises though. :p Daisy will get more action, so she should not worry. The plan shall surface in the near future.. I think.
Have I? Oh... I didn't actually do that on purpose. xD Oh well. Thanks!
xx Marauders_xx Report Review
Oh my god, Jackie, oh my bloody god. This was beautiful and it left me absolutely speechless--honestly, I don't know what I can say to you right now.
Your characters were beautiful and everything about this one-shot was beautiful. Rose and Scorpius had their special moments and yet it ends like any other tragic love story would end. Gorgeous, aboslutely gorgeous.
Your description in this story blew me off my feet. Every aspect of your writing has grown ever since you wrote 'Ships and November Nights'. I'm so proud of you, Lynn! I will owl you and tell you more about this masterpiece. God, it was heart-wrenching! Inifinite/10 for sure!Author's Response: I just love when I manage to get this reaction from you!:)
But it doesn't end here, no way! I meant for this story to have one chapter only, but the haracters have been playing with my mind ever since: i just can't read of what they tell me. They want this story to be written.
Please do owl me, and tell me about the story!:)) Report Review
I just left you a long review for this chapter but instead of the usual page coming up after you've written and submitted a review a page with "error locating this chapter" came up and I was like "NOO!" But, anyhoo, I shall review again. ^_^
This chapter is not like anyother. It starts off like the world is perfect and that no imperfection can inflict it's flawlessness in anyway but then as we progress to the second part, the prefection is gone and it's replaced by a more love dramas and smugness from some parties.
I didn't like this chapter nor did I love it...I bloody WORSHIP it!! The way you write is so captivating and dramatic and you always add a hint of flavor and humor in your filler chapters. You keep your style through the story and you don't have some of the characters changing their personalities very suddenly. The sentences flow into each other and the dialogue fits perfectly with the rest of the chapter. Simply gorgeous.
I can't wait to see how the date goes! Did I ever tell you that I love to read about their dates? Group or one-on-one. They're both good to read. :))
I sense some drama in the air as well.
Yours till the Wrackspurt gives me back my thoughts,
Daisy Report Review
Queen Luna, I didn't not like this chapter nor do I love it...I bloody worship it! That was one good chapter and Draco admitted to Hermione that he loved her! That was such a sweet scene.
The humor in this fic is well...really humorous!! Hermione and Draco's 'flirting lines' are written so well and it makes me feel all warm and giddy on the inside. The parts where Hermione does something that embarrasses herself is so funny to read.
This chapter was intense, Queen, really intense. I'm going to read more but you can count on me being back to review! No rating can EVER be used to rate this chapter because it was just too darn good. XD Report Review
WOW. I loved this cahpter and the first part of their skiing trip. And they finally kissed! Yay! The Draco and Hermione dialogue is really good in this story, have you noticed? ;) You don't go overboard with their flirting and you certainly dont make the cahracters hate themselves so much that they are blinded by the love they actually feel. It's a good change.
Secondly, these two chapters have awesome description. I can catually picture the snowy landscape and Draco falling over and snapping his skis off.
Hermione has definitely changed from the beginning of this story to now and that's comforting to see. Many would believe that Draco and Hermione would never end up together--I know, how could they?--but you've made the whole Dramione scenario more possible by incorporating activities for the characters to do with rivalry and humour.
I'm off to read the next chapter! *huggles* Report Review
Beautiful. Just beautiful. I have nothing else to say, queen. Nothing else. Infinite/10. Report Review
HAHA!! I remember when I reviewed this chapter as well!! I think I was screaming...well, typing in caps lock in this case, or something. DAMN YOU CAMERAMAN! *lol* Seriously, that could've been a really time for them to share their first kiss but the cameraman just had to destroy the moment. *sigh* great job with the ending! It was frustrating to see the 'moment' get ruined but it was hilarious as well. 100/10! Report Review
I still remember the time I first reviewed this chapter. God, it was long and right now I could still give you a review that is just as long but I'm getting all excited to read and review the next chapters. =D
This chapter was beautifully written and the ending with Isabelle about to break into tears and all, seemed like a scene from a tragic love story. The imagery created was strong and the descriptions was gorgeous. GORGEOUS. you really outdo yourself every single time.
I give you...*drumroll* 100/10 for this chapter. :)
(p.s. you know, most people would find it boring to put a chapter that is more related to the minor characters of the story but I'm glad that you decided to put this chapter up for viewing. ;P) Report Review
Even though I've read this chapter before, reading the part where Charna talks about 'the capital of Thailand' is still hilarious to me as the first time. I hope you continue to surprise me and make me knock myself off the seat in the future! Update soon! but no pressure. =D 10/10!!Author's Response: Salutations, Daisykins. :D
I must say, I ADORE the "capital of Thailand" thing. Hats off to fancycheriiebud for telling it to me!
I will. Never fear. NJ is here. xD Although, please don't hurt yourslef if you fall off... :)
I'll update soon, don't worry!!!
Thanks for your lovely review and amazing rating! :D:D
NJ xxx Report Review
Dun dun DUN!! I'm back! Did you miss me? ;)
The chapters just keep getting better and better don't they? I always love your ending word or words. They leave the reader wanting more and yet, you hold back on the whole cliffhanger concept. I love your style, NJ.
The Lump...that always gets me cracked up! *lol* The Lump!! Where in the world did you come up with that? It's hilarious! But I still can't believe that Draco goes all lovey dovey with her The Lump though it is all part of his act...How's life writing those little sections? And the word 'gutted' is a classic too.
You've done a good job with this story. I'll definitely come back for more.
DaisyAuthor's Response: *whistles*...miss who? xD Hiya Daisy!
I don't know, you tell me. xp Aw, thank you! I do try to come up with a good ending to each chapter as I'm not gonna use cliffies in this story. xD Hopefully. My mind sometimes tends to run away from me... *squee* Thank you!
Haha, The Lump amuses me. Glad you feel the same. :D To be honest, I have no idea where it came from... *grins* I know... HELLO?! DRACO?!! Charna.. Duh. But yes, it is all part of his act. xD Ah, Mr. Malfoy. The Nile is not only a river in Egypt. Well, Daisy, life is brilliant when I write those sections. :p Gutted is an amazing word. = D
Yay! Thanks! And a million thank yous for the awesomeness that is your review. =)
NJ Report Review
Hey, NJ! Guess who?
I'm going to re-review this chapter since so many of your reviews disappeared. :))
I simply love this story and I adore my one-day-younger-than-me friend. This story is funny and it has all the right elements to make it into a legendary fic. And I like how you've written this in Draco's point of view. Interesting and hilarious.
Good plot. Funny characters. Hilarious dialogue. What more can I say? Totally 10/10!Author's Response: OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG! DAISY! *hugs*
Yaaay! Thank you! Woop, you like it! Aww, I adore you too my one-day-older-then-me friend! Ah, thanks, hun. =) Legendary fic? Wowza! *bows* Thank you, Miss Daisy. Thanks again!
Thank you. Danke. Gracias. MERCI!!
NJ *gives cookie* Report Review
Aw, Carol. First of all, thanks for dedicating this story to me! And secondly, I think that this story is probably the best you've written so far.
You've got good descriptions in this chapter and there weren't too many gramatical errors. The paragraph that started like this "Her delicate bone structure..." was written beautifully. The imagery was strong there. :))
You've grown from your other story and moulded yourself to be able to write this one and if you always write with all this fever and description, then you will be able to achieve great things. Great job, halo!!Author's Response: ty daise
i love u
i did it
i think Report Review
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