Reading Reviews From Member: watchtherainfall
18 Reviews Found

Review #1, by watchtherainfallLeave the Pieces: My Heart Canít Tell You No

21st August 2012:
I love this story, so far. The thing that drew me to it in the beginning was defiantly the lyrics on the banner from "stay". I like the set up of the plot and can't wait to find more about aria as a character and her relationship with Albus. Can't wait for another update!!

Author's Response: It was definitely an inspiration source for me, along with a billion other similar heartbreaking songs! Thanks so much for the review

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Review #2, by watchtherainfallMesses of Men : Time for Heroics

26th February 2011:
Firstly, I am not happy with this break up situation. Secondly, Sirius is still a git. Thirdly, I do not like death eaters. Other than that, it was excellent (: Please update again soon! This story is defiantly one of my favorites.

Author's Response: Haha Sirius is mostly a git because Iris is a bitch but he is rather moody xD I'm glad you still like it, I'm hoping the next chapter will be up fairly soon, the queues kind of long at the moment (7 days if I'm correct) but you never know, it might go down!

I'm really glad you like my story, thank you for the review.

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Review #3, by watchtherainfallMesses of Men : 'Family Issues'

13th February 2011:
I love it! It only took me three days to get to this point but I've been addicted! I kind of want Iris to get with Ace over Sirius at this point, but I love Moody and his over-protectiveness! And Iris has to go and talk to her bestie again! In Japanese! Awe, update soon! :)

Author's Response: Haha I just thought it would be nice to bring in a more 'fatherly' side of Moody ;P Ace is probably my favourite character at the moment but that's only because my beloved Sirius can't be around as much (lol). Both Iris and Sirius are being idiots at the moment...well they are generally but that's just because they're both so stubborn! :P

Thank you for the review!

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Review #4, by watchtherainfallOne's Innocence: Like My Tattoo? I Don't....

10th January 2010:
It's so sad that Carina has no one to talk to. Had she been related by blood to Narcissa, I could potentially see them as close but she's not so I can see why they don't talk. I still think the characterization of the story is wonderful, and I can't wait to see if Draco and Carina actually get close. It would be wonderful for them both to have someone to rely on and trust - but if it turned in to and unwanted competition it could be pretty fun too! Awe, I wonder what is going to happen!

Awe, I hate Draco. Seriously, he is like one of my uber-favorite characters throughout the whole series and you've just ruined it! I joke, honestly. It's wonderful to see his Slytherin side which a lot of fanfictions leave out every now and again. I like the characterization of Carina. She seems soft on the inside but so tough on the outside. The whole Dark Mark scene was horrible! Don't take that the wrong way - I don't mean it was wrong, I mean it was just like 'Ahh, gross, poor Carina!' Aha.

Overall, the flow got a lot better in this chapter and whilst there were just a few grammar and punctuation mistakes in the chapter it wasn't all that horrible. There were just a few. The plot is progressing wonderfully, and the characterization is wonderful! I can't wait for the next couple chapters.

Author's Response: Thanks again! I really do like your reviews. They help a lot! I was really nervous when you had said I ruined Draco. I was like ah! But haha, I like how yoiu joke :) I'm glad you like the characters! Thanks for the feedback :)

Clair :D

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Review #5, by watchtherainfallOne's Innocence: The Sense of Right and Wrong

10th January 2010:
The characterization of the characters is perfection, I swear! I was like 'woah!' the whole time! There are some parts of the plot that are yet to be filled in, but I assume that they will come with due course. The plot, so far, seems very full and leaves room for great expansion. I normally do not like AU but this story has something of a believable air about it.

There are so punctuation and grammar mistakes that upset the flow, once in a while but nothing major. The beginning of the story was a little rough, with some hard and not-all-that free-flowing sentences. You had to read them a couple times to get through them but by the end of the chapter they had been cleared up quite well. The relationship status throughout the story seemed to flow quite well, and was quite easy to follow along, I think.

Overall, the story is off to an amazing start and I can't wait to read the next chapters!

Author's Response: Thank you for the nice review! I'm really glad you like the characterization! That's something I really struggle with so I'm glad you think I did well. I'm sorry to hear there were mistakes with puntuation and grammar because this story has all been beta'd, so that's kind of a bummer. But thanks for the review!


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Review #6, by watchtherainfallOnce In A Lifetime: Alive

3rd January 2010:
Ooh, I really don't like the F4! Or Daphne and Tracy. The Enverga beauties. I nearly puked in my mouth a bit. The chapters flow and tenses seem to get better within the last few chapters of this story. There are parts where you need to read through again, and just change some of the punctuation. In some parts, the capitalization isn't right.

I like the plot of this story, and the characterization of Ginny was much better towards the end of the fifth chapter. She became more convincing as Ginny, with a little bit more backbone than sighing and dreaming about Draco Malfoy. She hated him during Hogwarts, and what with the death of Ron and Harry at the hands of Death Eaters (Malfoy's old family friends) I doubt that she would particularly like the F4.As an OC, I like Smith. It's strange that he didn't sell Hermione out. I so far like him as a character. Hermione's characterization is still wonderful.

I like the plot of this story, even though it's only in the first few chapters. I can't wait to read more - and thank you for requesting a review. Whenever you want another, just re-request and I will be happy to get to it as soon as I can.

Author's Response: oh, i don't like them too. lol. :)

aa yes, i shall go over those suggestions. i hate my tenses, they're just awful.

i'm glad you think the story is better and that it is good. and of course i shall request for another review, you give such wonderful reviews! thanks a lot. :)

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Review #7, by watchtherainfallOnce In A Lifetime: Hermione the Hero

3rd January 2010:
Wow, so far this is one of the best AU stories I have read. I normally do not like them, but this has a plausible set up to it, which is a nice change. This story is extremely original, but lacks background. It is very quick moving, and it is a little confusing in the first beginning chapters. Other than that, it flows nicely. There a couple minor grammar mistakes that could be fixed with a quick read-through or a beta.

Specifically to this chapter, the tenses at the beginning of this seem to be present but it switches in to the past. This, too, can be cleared up with a read-through or a beta. Looks, for example is present tense, but half way through the chapter you are using words like did which are past tense.

The plot seems to be going strong. It is interesting and original which is wonderful. Having Narcissa Malfoy as the owner of the large company that merges muggles and wizards is in a interesting concept - one which I suppose will play an interesting roll in the future chapters. There are parts that are a little out there - like the quickness that the bullying takes place, and the some of it is unclear like how the school knew that he had been given a card, so quickly.

Your characterizations are a little off but, in general, are quite plausible. One exception would probably be Ginny who is a little out of character but not something that is supremely major. Your Hermione is quite good!

So far, I like the story. Apart from a little bit of a lightning fast plot, and a couple grammar mistakes I really like it so far!

Author's Response: aa, thanks you so much for reviewing! i shall fix those glitches as soon as i have the time. i'm happy that you think it's good. :)

sadly, the merging of muggles and wizards, i haven't planned how big of a role it will consume in the entirety of the story but i do hope that i shall come up with something.

yes, i do admit ginny is a bit au. but i'm glad you like hermione!

i shall try to slow it down a bit. thank you for your suggestions! :)

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Review #8, by watchtherainfallForbidden Words: Forbidden Words

30th December 2009:
I love Dramione! It is a secret guilty pleasure of mine. The language used in this story is outstanding, painting an exact picture but still leaving a bit up to the mind of the reader. Most Dramiones are horribly out of character but this one does not give off that. It only makes sense that Draco has a softer side, and he can not possibly be ridiculously cold all of the time. The characterization of Hermione is near flawless, also.

The plot of this story was outstanding. Draco and Hermione can never truly be together in canon, and no matter the story it would be slightly AU but you still manage to work with it. Even if the end doesn't happen to be with the pair together, it kind of feel s the whole it was better to have loved and lost than to never have loved before. Also I could see how this could slot straight in to the canon of the book - it would make sense as to why Ron always hated Draco as much as he did.

There are like no grammar mistakes in this, and it amazes me. Anyone who can go through and pick out all the grammar, spelling and punctuation mistakes in a story amaze me, because I am so bad at it. Haha.

Thank you for requesting a review. The story is wonderful, and if you ever want to request a review again, just ask! Thank you, again, and good luck with any future stories.

Author's Response: It's a pleasure of mine too but certainly not a guilty one! lol.
I agree it could have been in the book but not necessarily something that would have ever been told to anyone. Just a secret they both kept to themselves, you know?
Whether you're good at picking out bad grammar or not, I'm glad you found no mistakes!
Thanks for reviewing dear!

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Review #9, by watchtherainfallCloudy: Chapter I: Dreams

30th December 2009:
I like the plot of this chapter, a little bit of an introduction to the whole Scorpius/Lily relationship. The characterization of Narcissa Malfoy is wonderful. She does not see the need to worship the ground that Lily walks on for being a Potter, which is defiantly not something that Narcissa would do, but does not disregard her either, still feeling slightly like she owes Harry Potter something.

I felt so bad for poor Lily in this chapter. Being in Slytherin is not all that big of a deal but Scorpius making her life hell is not all that nice of him. Then again he is a Slytherin. Haha. The dormitory scene was quite the opposite of Harry's, if I remember rightly which is nice. It gets boring to read about the whole dormitory getting together, eating chocolates and gossiping just because they are in the same house and year. . There were a few grammar mistakes in this but nothing major that interrupted the flow.

Thank you for requesting a review. I really hate when good stories go without reviews. This story is wonderful so far and feel free to re-request whenever you want (if there is an opening of course ;)).

Author's Response: I am so relieved to read that about Narcissa. Her characterization was something that concerned me, but your interpretation is exactly what I was going for.

To Lily, it is a big deal, much as it was for Albus but minus the reassurance from Harry. However, her treatment there is the main point. For some reason, I have this vision of most of the purebloods in Slytherin knowing who each other is, and I figured they'd all be fine with postponing intros. After all, they realize they will be spending most of the year together.

I'm glad you think this is good, and I will take you up on that!

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Review #10, by watchtherainfallCloudy: Prologue: The Present Situation

30th December 2009:
You would think that a Lily/Scorpius would be common by now, but alas it is still quite the rarity and a fun thing to read so thank you for requesting a review! Firstly, I would like to say that writing in first person is incredibly difficult sometimes and I love to read it and see how other people write it. You have written in first person incredibly well.

The characters are intriguing, leaving questions about them which is pushing me to read more. I especially love your characterization of Lily. She is pushing herself to go see Scorpius but is always questioning why, something which I could see her doing. I seriously hope that Scorpius is not using Lily for something. Being used is not all that fun.

There were a couple spelling and a grammar mistake in the chapter like I respond coldly is in present tense where it should be I responded coldly. Little thing like that do not really jump out unless you are looking for them though.

This story, so far, is good! I will review your next chapter soon!

Author's Response: It surprises me that the ship hasn't really taken off yet. In a way it's kind of disappointing, but at the same time I think it makes me feel more comfortable writing it, if that makes sense. I'm glad you think I handled first person well! I'm so glad I finally found a story I can write in it!

I'm glad you like my characterization, particularly of Lily. I was a bit nervous about that.

As for the respond/responded thing, this particular chapter was supposed to be written in present tense, so I'd be more concerned about the opposite. I will read over it to check for grammar things, though.

Thank you so much for the review!

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Review #11, by watchtherainfallWaiting on a Whim: Twenty-One

30th December 2009:
I have thoroughly enjoyed this story, feeling the pain for Molly and feeling the happiness for her, too. A character of not many words, I noticed, pretty much embodying the whole thing about actions speaking louder than words. The language you use also helps as you do not stick to the overused words like touched, look, etc but kissed, roaming, etc.

There are a couple grammar mistakes in the chapter, but nothing overly major. The flow is wonderful, and there are no mistakes what so ever in that part of the story. The way that you have written this story intrigues me as it is not something that you normally see a writer do. You are incredibly good at it too.

The plot was wonderful. Each situation, though short, played a prominent role in the story as a whole. There is nothing missing but there is nothing extra than what is needed, either. There are a few things that weave in and out of the story, playing a minor role to the main plot but resulting to be quite effective like the counting thing. It is really good!

Please feel free to re-request a review for any of your other stories. Your writing intrigues me, and I thank you for requesting a review for such a good story! It was really easy to review something so different, so good.

Author's Response: thank you so much for the feedback, I REALLY REALLY appreciate it! *hugs*

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Review #12, by watchtherainfallWaiting on a Whim: Fourteen.

30th December 2009:
This story is wonderful, I have to say. The details, the insight in to the love that Molly has for Teddy despite no actual dialogue happening. Some people say that no dialogue can get boring but seeing as the snippets in to Mollys life are so short, yet so full of thought and descript, it does not bore me in the slightest. The details, as with the last couple chapters, are perfect. It is not too much and is not too little.

I love Molly as a character. Unlike the cliche of her being a prude, rule abiding girl like her father is far too overused. It is like a breath of fresh air in a character. The writing itself is also a breath of fresh air. The tense in which you write in is rare, and it is also even a rarer find for it to actually work. I feel horrible for Molly, not getting what she wants, but the language used to end the chapter is too wonderful to pass up. I would rather that than a happy ending, sadly.

There are very few grammatical and punctual mistakes in this chapter, and the flow is smoother. It is a wonderful read.

Author's Response: thank you ever so much, it really means a lot to me that you enjoyed it!

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Review #13, by watchtherainfallWaiting on a Whim: Epilogue.

30th December 2009:
The detail of this story is amazing. Not too much, just enough. It adds to the plot, wonderfully. Putting the epilogue first is a strange move, but it works well in this. It tells you what to expect, but it also leaves you with the question of how did they get there? which pushes you forward to read the next chapters. Molly II/Teddy is not something that you see very often, yet the idea of them and the way that you have portrayed them both through this chapter is good.

There are a few grammatical errors in this chapter like starting a sentence with And, and things like that but they do not really matter. A beta can help things like that, if you want. There are a few parts of this chapter that can be a little iffy with the flow. It is a little choppy in places, which forces you to go over and read them again.

I like how you have stayed canon even with this non-canon couple. Mentioning Teddys past love life which could have contained Victoire as the cousin adds a little ooh, what happened to that? kind of air to it. Overall, this is a good start to what looks to be a good story!

Author's Response: thanks so much, staying canon is something I try and do as far as possible. Much more fun when you've got rules to follow. thanks so much for reviewing!

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Review #14, by watchtherainfallI Believe in Fate: You Don't Have to Be Alone

28th December 2009:
People say that a kiss in the rain can be cliche. Personally, I still find that it never gets old. Overall, I thought the plot was well done, the characters cute and warm. It was a good, quick read. Dominiques character seemed quite relatable, albeit a little depressing. Haha! I guess that was what you were aiming for, the whole point of the story. I am a huge fan of the Next Gen Weasley family and their love lives.

Toward the beginning of the story, the sentences seemed choppy. It was like This happened. That happened. Instead of using periods, commas and semi colons would work well. Toward the end, however, the sentences lengthened, and were flowed more.

I loved this one shot, it was a fun story! Thank you for requesting a review, and if you ever want another one! Just ask! (=

Author's Response: wow thanks for the helpful review!! I'm glad you enjoyed the story, and of course I'll be back to re-request! Have a great New Years :)

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Review #15, by watchtherainfallAlong Came Lucy: Madwoman

28th December 2009:
The prospect of a Scorpius/Lucy fic is something that I have not encountered before, and the fact that it is in the point of view of Scorpius adds a little extra originality to an already original story!

I love the scenario about Lulu (who I presume is Lucy) buying the stuff about him loving her despite her being cheated on a couple hours before. As sad as it is, its a pretty realistic scenario, as sad as that is. Girls tend to fall for that stuff, and being a girl myself I, unfortunately, know what Im talking about. This story is easy to relate to both from a female and males point of view. Sadly, I do not like how quick Lucy was to take him back. Its sad but true, though.

I love the strong characters in the story so far. Lucy seems a little like me, feisty and hard-shelled on the outside but quite soft and venerable on the inside. Scorpius. Well honestly I love him. Hes subtle, intelligent and a little snobby but in a bad-boy kind of way.

Thirdly, Im quite excited to continue reading a story that is the first person point of view. I have read, and written, in first person POV a lot but I normally find and stick to the female perspective. Its a nice change to read from the male side of things and I love how you capture him.

This is, so far, an interesting novel and I cant wait to read the next chapter and the sequel after that (=

Author's Response: Oh wow. Thank you for such a fantastic review!

I always wondered why nobody ever writes about Percy's children, and in a more positive light. Don't disagree with anyone's portrayal, but I wanted to see something different, so figured that I could write it. The choice to write from Scorp's POV was an easy one. I like the male POV, and write it more easily, surprisingly. And Scorp is such a fun character, so he seemed the best candidate :).

Yes. Lulu (I hate that name, haha) is Lucy. I felt annoyed with her for buying what he said, but as you say, girls fall for that stuff. I know I fall for the 'I love you' thing quite a lot, and it makes me ignore the bad stuff, no matter how much it lingers in my mind. I guess it makes you feel more wanted, and its hard to rid yourself of the person that's giving you that feeling. I wish she didn't take him back so easily either, but she is a very vulnerable person.

That's her character in a nutshell. She's very strong and snappy on the outside, but when it comes down to it, she's as soft as a feather, and very easily hurt. Scorp is a little snobby, huh? I hope you see some growth in his character as the story progresses!

I'm glad that you like his portrayal so far. I'm even more glad that you find this all interesting enough to keep reading. I do hope you enjoy it.

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

~L. Kelley

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Review #16, by watchtherainfallUnder the Mistletoe: Snowballs, Cookies, Presents and A Kiss

18th March 2009:
Aw, I love it. It makes me wish it was Christmas again even though Summer hasn't come yet. I love Victoire/Teddy, and this is by far one of my favorite Tedoire I've read. It made me chuckle in a few places. I love your characterization of Teddy, and Victoire was just too perfect. I'm happy that you didn't portray her as snobbish. 10.

Author's Response: aw thanks. I loved writing this fic. Victoire/Teddy fics are by far, my fave next gen pairing to read. I never imagined Victoire as snobbish. I see her more sweet and loving, sort of like Fleur and Bill's mother Molly. Thanks for reading!!! :)

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Review #17, by watchtherainfallwith birds in her hair: The Sun Also Rises or; the Epilogue

8th March 2009:
Wow, what a wonderful story. I'm happy to see that there wasn't any of that horrible 'Sirius macking on numerous other girls and sleeping with them' thing. That bores me so much. I love Vienna. She's a very well developed character and it looks like you had fun writing the story! 10/10

Author's Response: thankyou! i know, sirius is a little, well, serious (har har har) in this story. im glad you liked it, and i did have the best time writing it! :)

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Review #18, by watchtherainfallHow the Hag Saved the Day: How the Hag Saved the Day

12th February 2009:
Woah, it's gorgeous though McGonagall has just made the worst suggestion of her life, I think. Your characterization is perfect, and I think I can connect with Rita well. Scary to say, since she was like my least favorite character EVER! But you still make her feel real, and all that on Dumbledore's biography. That had me laughing. XD. So, wow, it's a great one-shot. I'm not a fan of one-shots but this might just change that.

Author's Response: Haha, yeah, I'm sure she's kicking herself now. Oh, well. It happens. I once jokingly suggested my friends try to dye my very light hair a bright pink, and they're still waiting for me to fall asleep so they can do it. ANYWAY, I'm glad you can connect with her; I don't like her either, but it's always fun to crawl into mean people's minds for a while. Thanks for the review!

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