Reading Reviews From Member: Gryffin_Duck
  
195 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Gryffin_DuckWolf Calling: Sleep - what's that?

4th March 2013:
Yay, a new chapter! I've been meaning to read and review this ever since it went up, but today is the first day off I've had in over a week. But anyway, onto the review!

I'm glad we got to meet Louis's roommates! They seem like hilarious guys and I can't wait to learn more about them. I feel bad for Louis, though, with the noise. I'm a light sleeper as well. I can't sleep through even the tiniest bits of noise and white noise is even worse.

Aw, I loved the scene with Louis and Fleur! So sweet. I have a feeling that Victoire is pregnant, but I suppose I'll have to wait to find out if that's true or not.

I have a feeling something is going to happen at the Leaky whilst Louis is there celebrating with his roommates. I have no idea what, though. Can't wait to find out! Great chapter! :)

Author's Response: That's alright, I know how busy you've been. (: I'm just happy that you're still reading and enjoying the story.

Yep, had to introduce his flatmates, that was a definite this chapter. And I'm so glad you loved the scene with Louis and Fleur because I always get nervous writing the parents of the next gen characters. I don't ever want to ruin the characterizations that J.K. Rowling already set up. And more on Victoire's news in chapter four, I think.

Nope, nothing major, though his flatmates did get drunk and you may hear more of their drunk escapades in future chapters. But Louis didn't drink that much, but we'll see him get drunk later on in the story. He's just going to be focused on work for a while. Thanks so much for reviewing, Sarah!


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Review #27, by Gryffin_DuckWolf Calling: Decision

12th February 2013:
Yay!!! So happy you posted the first chapter, Leslie! I've been so excited to read it ever since you first told me about it.

I enjoyed this first foray into Louis's life. You had a good mix of background info along with current events, especially how Louis is already having to make his decision. It's a good balance!

Aw, Louis. I feel a bit bad for him, given that he's the youngest and clearly trying to prove himself both to his sisters, his parents, and himself. But he's got a soft side, too, which was great to see as he talked about the poor kids attacked by the werewolf. Then you revealed a bit of snark that I loved! He's obviously sick of working under a supervising healer and makes it known, which is great. He's quiet, but not always, which will be helpful when he's working on the project!

The family tree is really helpful! I like how Audrey is Penelope Clearwater's sister. And I LOVE that you have Teddy and Victoire's son a werewolf! I definitely think it's possible (given my stories, haha), and the connection Hugo has with werewolves will help him.

I spotted some grammatical errors here and there (mostly missed commas), so let me know if you want me to beta or anything. I really loved this first chapter and I can't wait to read more! :)

Author's Response: Yeah, I was getting antsy about posting it so it was only a matter of time :P I hope it doesn't disappoint.

Glad you found it a balance because I tried to keep things interesting while at the same time painting the backdrop for the story to come. Yep, he's definitely a softie. Added that personal touch of Ted and Vic's son being a werewolf to add more personal depth to his motivation to take the job because I figured it'd show more drive that way and I'm glad you were able to pull something away from it.

Yep, there had to be a Weasley family member working with werewolves that could help provide additional information to Louis in case anything is withheld from the healers (you never know). Plus, the Weasleys are such a huge family that it wouldn't be unseen that one of them worked in a dept that would be helpful for Louis.

Yeah, I'm trying to use commas less than I usually do because I have a tendency to overuse them, but I'll go back and take a look at that. And if you want to beta then that would be good too. It's been a few years since I've had a beta and it's harder for me to catch my mistakes in fiction prose because often times when I go back to it after I posted it I notice these mistakes that I should have caught but didn't. I'm hoping to post the next chapter in two weeks time.


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Review #28, by Gryffin_DuckHindsight: All For One ...

28th December 2012:
I love how you have Professor Vector as the head of Slytherin! I've never seen that done before.

I really hope Al and the others can make it to try-outs. Try-outs for a Hogwarts team...seems that there's some sort of Quidditch competition with other wizarding schools. That will be exciting! I did that in one of my stories once.

Aww, Lily! She seems very sweet in this. I can't wait to read more about her and James and their interactions with Albus. Also can't wait to read more about Angela.

I haven't mentioned this before now, but I really adore how you named this Hindsight and the story focuses on the aftermath of the incident, rather than describing the incident itself. It works so well! Great chapter. :)

Author's Response: I thought long and hard over who would be the best Slytherin Head of House for the next-gen. Not an easy decision. But Vector, with her workload... I thought she'd make her way to the position over anyone I could create from scratch.

Try outs will be a challenge, but Al has siblings to influence the outcome. It's not always as he'd choose, but he'll still love them in the end (and I say that as a sibling of many, who'd have traded several along the way at one time or another, but would still kill or die for any at a moment's notice), but that's how it goes in a family, right?

I'm so glad you like the concept of Hindsight, because it is all about the aftermath.

Thanks again for the comments!

Take care,
Ty


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Review #29, by Gryffin_DuckHindsight: Getting Involved

28th December 2012:
Ooo, now we've been introduced to Angela! I really like her so far. I especially enjoyed her commentary on Al & Scorpius's friendship.

Speaking of that, I really like the way you have developed it, at least judging from Angela's description. So many authors have them be friends from the very start of their first year (despite the unlikeliness of that, given the epilogue...but that's another rant of mine for another time...), but as far as I can tell from Angela's description, you haven't done that. Instead, they seem to have had a reluctant alliance in a competition against the rest of the school that perhaps turned into a reluctant friendship. Although, it's still hard to tell at this point. Either way, it's very interesting!

And now there are a few more details in the mystery of what is going on. Again, I love the way you're unraveling it slowly, leaving the reader wanting more. Awesome chapter! :)

Author's Response: Angela has an interesting take on just about everything, but she has been particularly close to Al and Scorp's evolution.

I totally agree with the rant, there has to be a compelling argument as to why these two would end up allays. I hope to make that completely clear in the story :)

Thanks for all the support,
~Ty


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Review #30, by Gryffin_DuckHindsight: Who Said Hindsight Was 20/20?

28th December 2012:
Merry Christmas, Ty! This is the first of many reviews that I'll be leaving for your Secret Santa present!

What I enjoyed the most about this chapter was the fact that it jumped right into the action, without explaining what exactly was happening. It's a great way to capture the reader's attention! I immediately wanted to read on to figure out why Al & co were trying to break into the castle. The fact that you still hadn't revealed what was going on by the end of the chapter just made it all the more intriguing!

I can't wait to read on and delve deeper into the characterizations, especially Al & Scorpius.

This line- “You’ve never heard: windows of opportunity occasionally require a rock," is my favorite! So funny! Great first chapter! :)

Author's Response: Scorpius is funny, so he totally deserved the the best line, even though he's a total brat.

The action does take off. I actually had a previous chapter -way ahead of the lockout- to set the stage, but kicked it because this scene was a stronger beginning without it. I'm glad you were intrigued. :)

Always,
Ty


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Review #31, by Gryffin_DuckA Cartography of Grief: You Are The Only Map I Know

23rd September 2012:
Hi! Duckie here with your requested review. :)

Bit of a disclaimer first. This was the first Remus/Sirius I've ever read. I'm very much a canon person in terms of ships (and everything, really), but I'm not opposed to all non-canon ships. I'll be honest and say that I'm not a huge fan of Remus/Sirius, but you made it seem believable to me!

I was hooked from the second section, where Remus comes home from Order business and Sirius is aloof. It seemed so real and haunting, especially coming from the section before. You captured both Remus and Sirius's personalities extremely well, but fit their canon personalities into a non-canon ship. I rarely see that done well, so great job! I felt really bad for both of them in that section.

I found a few tense issues in the sections after Sirius's death. The first few sentences of the whole chapter were in past tense, but then you moved on to present tense, and the subsequent sections were all in present tense. I do wonder how it would read if you did all the sections where Sirius was alive in past tense and the other sections in present tense. I think it might get rid of any time period confusion.

I was a bit confused with the time period changes. I understood that a time period had taken place, but I was unsure exactly what time period it was. All the sections with Sirius alive made sense, but the others took me a while to figure out. Again, I wonder if playing with the tense would fix that.

It definitely seemed complete! The emotions were great and I was really able to get a sense as to how Remus felt during the entire story. My heart ached for him the whole time. He's my absolute favorite character and I think you captured his personality wonderfully. If you do happen to play with the tenses, I'd love to read it again. Just PM me on the forums if you do. Great story! :)

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Review #32, by Gryffin_DuckAfter We Fall: Chapter One: Prologue

23rd September 2012:
Hi A_w! Finally getting to your review. :)

First I have to comment on the plot, because this prologue is very intriguing! Your description was great. Despite the fact that Lorcan was ten in this, the way you described him and what he was doing in the beginning made it seem like he was much older. I really liked that!

I enjoyed the air of mystery you had in much of this. Your story summary just mentions Lily, Scorpius, and Snape, so I was hooked by the fact that the prologue was about Lorcan. I wanted to keep reading in order to figure out how he fit into the plot. The fact that you didn't tie it all up until the very end worked well.

Now onto your writing style. As I mentioned before, your description was really well done. There wasn't too much of it, but I was able to imagine everything happening. I got a really good sense as to the environment as well as Lorcan himself.

A few of your sentences were very long, with many sections tied together by commas. They distracted me a bit, and they'd probably do better if separated. There weren't many, but a few in the very beginning of the chapter were written that way.

There wasn't much dialogue in this chapter, of course, but the dialogue that was there worked well. Lorcan's fear came across well in his dialogue, as did Snape's anger.

The part where it transitioned between when Lorcan was ten and the present time was slightly jarring. I had to go back and reread to figure out that a time jump had occurred. I'm not sure exactly how to remedy that. Perhaps a page break? It's something you might want to play with.

I really enjoyed this chapter! Great description, especially. I always admire people who write good description. Feel free to re-request for another chapter! :)

Author's Response: I'm so bad, stealing review spots away from members. But I can't help myself. At least other staff know we won't ban your account if you something negative about our stories :P

Seriously, though, thank you for the review. I'm glad you liked the chapter. I'm always unsure about the amount of description to use, though I guess that's a pretty common concern. You can tell when a story has way too much or way too little, but everything in the middle can get a bit murky. I'm glad it seemed to work here okay.

You're right about a few sentences in the beginning being too long. I know I have a habit of abusing the comma (and the dash) on occasion, especially in the narration. I'll definitely have a look at chopping a few of those up.

I'm not sure exactly what you mean about the change in time. Other than when a few hours pass with Lorcan in the bushes, from the time he's pulled into the house until the last line is all one big chunk of time/the span of about 10 minutes. Hmmm... I'll look at it again and make sure I've made that clear.

Thank again for the review. I hope your review thread has been treating your well :D


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Review #33, by Gryffin_DuckWhy Not?: An Explosion of Sorts

16th September 2012:
Aw, poor Molly! So much for Finn maturing. Their relationship reminds me a lot of James and Lily, before they started dating. What Finn did to the potion was truly mean, though. And now they're both punished for it, despite the fact that it wasn't Molly's fault. I'm sure that detention will be interesting.

I'm even more intrigued by Percy now! I always thought he'd be a strict father, but getting angry over one detention? That seems a bit much, although it doesn't surprise me that Percy would. I hope he doesn't find out! Great chapter! :)

Author's Response: Yes, I can see how Finn and Molly's relationship could model James and Lily's own relationship. Finn eventually comes around to accepting his feelings for Molly, and Molly in turn falls for Finn. Sit back and enjoy the ride because Molly & Finn's relationship is one heck of a roller coaster ride. :D

Yeah, Percy is strict and he puts more pressure on Molly because he sees himself in her and knows how intelligent she is, as well as how far she can succeed and thus pushes her to do her utmost best. Molly's whole character revolves around how her father pushes her and throughout her final year she's trying to find herself by finding what it is she wants to do instead of what her father wants her to do after Hogwarts. Thanks for reviewing! :)


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Review #34, by Gryffin_DuckWhy Not?: Change Of Heart or Not

16th September 2012:
Yay, more Finn! I have a really hard time disliking him, despite the fact that Molly dislikes him at this point. I guess that's what happens when I know the plot before I read the story. Oh, well! I'm really glad that he and Molly had a civil conversation.

I also can't wait to read more about Erin and Mathis. They strike me as very similar to Ron and Hermione, the way they argue, so perhaps something is happening there? Maybe? Another great chapter! :)

Author's Response: Yes, knowing the plot definitely can influence how you feel about Finn :P But I'm happy you like him and think Molly is already a well-rounded character :D I love writing both of them so much and Molly is definitely my favorite next generation female to write (James II being my favorite over all).

Yes, Erin and Mathis do have a Hermione and Ron thing going on, however they don't ever go out (though I'm thinking of having them finally start dating in BILY... or maybe I already wrote that they were going out... can't remember, they're at least still best friends in BILY, I can tell you that much, and single). Thanks for reviewing! :D


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Review #35, by Gryffin_DuckWhy Not?: Intro

16th September 2012:
Hi Leslie! I am finally reading this! I love the way you've characterized Molly, especially by having her be the only Weasley in Ravenclaw. I can't wait to read more about how that affects her.

Aww, Al's best friends with Scorpius. Such a contrast with how I've characterized both of them. I wonder if they'll be playing a big roll in this story. I'm thinking not, since they're quite a bit younger than Molly.

I'm very intrigued by how you've characterized Neville! I've never seen him written as a stern professor, so it'll be interesting to see how that plays out. Great first chapter! :)

Author's Response: Yay! Thanks, I'm glad you like how I've characterized Molly. I love playing around with the dynamic of her character in each scene I write her in because I think she's such a flexible character.

Yes, I went the Albus is a Slytherin route and is therefore best mates with Scorpius. And you'll occasionally see him when I write from Finn's POV, but for the most part he's just scenery in the story as Molly and Finn are at the forefront (and Molly has her own life apart from her family).

Well, I wouldn't say I've characterized Neville as stern per se, but he definitely isn't a professor to be walked over (that's why I end up giving him a promotion to Headmaster in BILY) ;) Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #36, by Gryffin_DuckThe Art of Victoire: Veela Eyes

14th September 2012:
Hi! Duckie here with your requested review. :)

I really enjoyed the way you began this, with Victoire's thoughts on friendship. It was a good characterization tactic. Going back to the theme of friendship throughout the rest of the story, despite its obvious turn toward romance, was a good choice. It knit the story together, in my opinion.

However, I felt that there needed to be more characterization and more details on Victoire and Teddy's relationship. Teddy obviously betrayed Victoire's trust and friendship, but I feel that specifics would have given an even better insight into their relationship, and their individual characters.

The grammar was good, for the most part. I found a few sentences that needed commas. A good way to find out where you need a comma is to read your story out loud to see where the natural pauses would be. There was also one sentence that seemed awkward and a bit of a run-on. "You see so many 'popular' people who are adored by many and are constantly surrounded by friends who, but when it comes to some sort of bad drama they're out of there like there's a sale on at Gladrags, but you never expect your friends to be like that." I think it would work better if you split it up into two sentences.

The only other issue I had with it was that it was difficult to tell how old Victoire was in this. I knew she was out of Hogwarts because her thoughts on friendship seemed too mature for a teenager, but other than that, I wasn't sure. I also did not realize that she'd actually been married to Teddy until I read the extra information in your review request. I think it would be good to make that a bit more clear. I thought he was her boyfriend.

I really enjoyed the lack of dialogue! As someone who writes too much dialogue, your inner monologue style and description were refreshing! I definitely got the feel that Victoire is a strong woman and her situation with Teddy only made her stronger. Great one-shot! :) Feel free to re-request for another story!

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Review #37, by Gryffin_DuckA Stone Memorial: Pennies in a fountain.

10th September 2012:
Hi! Duckie here with your requested review. :)

First, I adore this plot. Penelope is such an interesting character and I always wondered what happened to her after graduation and whether she was at the Battle. I never even thought about her dying, since JKR didn't specify her fate, but it makes sense.

The very beginning was my favorite part. Penelope's musings about pennies in a fountain gave great insight to her character. I thought that was a very good way of characterizing her. I do think it would've been nice to know that she was a photographer prior to the battle scene, though. It felt a little abrupt, coming out right before she died.

I spotted a few recurring grammatical errors. You have a few extraneous commas throughout the story. I won't point them all out because that would take a lot of space, but I highly suggest reading your story aloud to yourself and see where the natural pauses are.

Another is that you need a few semicolons. If two thoughts you want to connect with a comma could stand alone as two sentences, you need to use a semicolon rather than a comma to separate them. Here's an example- "I would never show it to Percy, it would probably break his heart, but it was beautiful." The semicolon should be placed where the first comma is, as the first bit could be its own sentence, as could the part following "Percy."

There were a few tense issues in the beginning. Make sure your verbs all match in terms of tense. Example- "I watched my sister as she took a penny from her purse, and drop it into the fountain at Trafalgar Square." "Drop" should be "dropped."

I adored your voice in this! It flowed very nicely and it almost had a ghostly feel to it. It almost felt as if Penny was a ghost, looking on, even before she died. I'm not sure whether that was intentional, but it worked very well! Perfect for a photographer observing.

Overall, very good story! I loved the plot! :)

Author's Response: Aww, thank you, this is a brilliant review! The grammar help is lovely, because i'm pretty rubbish in that area *dies* This was so, so helpful, and It's lovely to know that you liked my story :D Thanks thanks thanks xx

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Review #38, by Gryffin_DuckNext Midnight: Weasley-Malfoy

17th July 2012:
Oh, you're evil! :P Haha, now I'm going to have to go directly into reading Midnight Over Broadway. I need to know whether the baby is a boy or a girl.

This was so funny and so adorable. Didn't take me long to read since you had me hooked from the start. I almost wish it had been longer since pregnant Rose is hilarious. I especially enjoyed how Scorpius fainted during the delivery. Somehow I'm not surprised.

I loved the Weasleys' and Malfoys' reactions to the pregnancy. They were so perfect. I hope they'll all be in the next one since they add so much humor to the series.

Scorpius is going to make such a great dad. And Rose as a mum is going to be so funny. Great story! I shall move on to the next now! :)

Author's Response: Ha! It's fun to be tricky. Yes, you'll see in chapter 1 of M.O.B. ;)

This one is a short read. I thought about making it longer but I think it would have overstayed its welcome, so to speak. Pregnant Rose was fun though. And poor Scorpius, he would faint, wouldn't he?

I'm glad the reactions from the two families fit the groups as I write them - it's such different reactions from the two that it makes for good contrast. But then, the Weasleys and Malfoys always make a strong contrast.

Scorpius will be a great dad - Rose will probably be a better mum than she thinks, but mostly because she can take her cues from Scorpius. haha. Thank you so much for reviewing!


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Review #39, by Gryffin_DuckSparks: Bring Me Giants!

17th July 2012:
It's taken me far too long to finish reading this. I read the first eight chapters in about a week and then got busy and forgot. But I just read the last two and now I'm all happy at the fluffy, romantic ending. So adorable!

I really loved this story. It was awesome getting to read a bit more about Lucy and Roxanne, after seeing their cameos in your other stories. I especially loved the fact that Victoire and Johnny Lupin were in it because I think they may be my two favorites from your stories.

I knew Lucy was going to wind up with Hilarion and Roxanne would wind up with Perry from the beginning but I loved reading how they got to that point. Hilarion was so adorable and I love that he isn't really into Quidditch, but just plays because he's good at it. Such a nice change from the usual Quidditch players I've seen in stories.

Perry is awesome and so perfect for Roxanne. She fits in so well with his group of friends. Cornish Dan was very funny and I love the fact that all the Dans have to be referred to in some other way.

Anyway, this was an adorable story and it fit in so well with all the Rose stories. Loved it and I shall be starting Next Midnight soon! :)

Author's Response: You forgot about me? I'm so distraught. :p It's okay homie, I appreciate reviews whenever they come, and I'm really glad you liked the story!

Telling Roxanne's and Lucy's stories was a lot of fun. And cameos from the Lupins always makes my day.

Ah romance, predictable yet satisfying. I'm glad you liked the pairings; I think they're well suited to each other, both sets of them. Hilarion's a different sort of a jock, isn't he? I like that he's not into it but is good at it nonetheless. Natural talent, but he wouldn't even watch the game if he didn't have to. I find that interesting, I suppose. Perry I had a lot of fun with his character, he's definitely perfect for Roxanne. Ah Cornish Dan! I've had a lot of friends where you have to distinguish who you mean ("Which Rachel? Inappropriate Stage Makeup Rachel or Our Rachel?").

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I'm really glad you liked it :)


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Review #40, by Gryffin_DuckSausages and Cookies: Figuring it Out

5th June 2012:
This was adorable! And soo funny! I absolutely loved Teddy's apprehension about everything in the kitchen, especially his attempt at making cookies. And Remus and Johnny's commentary throughout the whole thing was just hilarious. It sort of reminded me of the times my dad would cook dinner for my siblings and I when my mom was busy or sick. He has two or three things he'll make and that's pretty much it. Although he can make them pretty well.

Poor Victoire! She's really got her hands full with three kids, another on the way, and a husband who can't even fry up sausages correctly. I loved how snappy she was with Teddy.

Ahh, pizza! Hugo saves the day. I bet Teddy will always order pizza whenever he has to cook now. That totally reminded me of how in one of my stories after Victoire's just given birth to twins and her best friend comes over to feed everyone and help take care of the twins while Teddy is at work, she brings pizza. She's like your Teddy, only cooking things from a box.

Very cute story! Loved it! :)

Author's Response: Teddy should have just swallowed his pride and ordered some take-away food, but he just had to try and show he could do what Victoire could do. Clearly, he cannot ;) The boys' commentary was fun to write. They really have no idea what they're talking about, but will totally lecture their dad about how Mom does it anyway.

My husband generally gets fast food when left to his own devices, though he can cook (not a lot of things, but some things). I think it's a guy thing. A dad thing maybe. Sad really. :p

Poor Victoire. Trying to cook with morning sickness is no bueno. Definitely the time to be snippy at one's husband for his incompetence haha.

Hugo is definitely in the responsible contingency of Weasley next gens. He thinks ahead. Friends bringing food when one has newborn twins is a huge help. A few people brought me food when my twins were born. Someone brought pizza and blueberry cheesecake one night. I ate it for three days straight, it was so good. Still remember that fondly haha.

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #41, by Gryffin_DuckA Weirder Shade of Midnight: Leaping Lethifolds

27th May 2012:
Didn't take me long to read this one! Three days, I think? Your stories are addicting. I think I liked this one even more than JAMR.

I LOVED the Lenny plot line. He was so funny and I like to think he and Scorpius had a sort of bromance going on with all the time they spent hanging out in Rose's flat while she was off getting kidnapped.

I also really liked learning more about Harry, Ron, and Hermione's lives at the Ministry. Your take on it is very realistic. Again, their personalities are spot on and you write them as adults very well. The funny bits were great. I love that the whole "Weasleys never turn down free food" came back.

It was really interesting to read more about Dominique in this one since there was a bit about Victoire and Louis in JAMR. The contrast between the two sisters was so big, but I loved that. One of my sisters and I are vastly different, so it's great to read about sisters like that. But they still care about each other, which is great. I felt so bad for Dom during the dinner party scene. But I love that she went through with the divorce even after Andrew's memory got erased.

I think one of my favorite parts of this was the fact that the bad guys were girls. That's so rare, so it's great to see. The duel between the two was awesome, especially Sergei's commentary. The ending was awesome, especially the bit where Scorpius got paid 2K for that painting. Although I somehow doubt it'll last long, with him and Rose's luck.

Definitely going to read all the various one-shots now! And Next Midnight, I think that comes next, right? Great story!!! :)

Author's Response: Yay I'm glad you liked it! I totally think Scorpius and Lenny had a grand old time sitting around singing and playing guitar together. I had a lot of fun writing Lenny, so I'm glad you liked him. :)

Funny bits are my favorite XD I really enjoy writing Harry, Ron, and Hermione as adults, and having them still be very close. I totally picture Harry and Ron having lunch every day and popping into each other's office just to hang out when they're supposed to be doing paperwork. And of course, Hermione coming to see Ron and locking his office door and thinking no one knows it's cause they're making out in there haha.

Dominique and Victoire are definitely very different. I do think they have their similarities though, and they do still love each other of course. Victoire's very much the matriarch of the group of cousins, and Dominique being the only other one to have children at this point gives them something else in common. Poor Dommie, she thought Andrew was her happily-ever-after. The big jerk. I think it's best she held strong after his memory was erased and he wanted her back. There's more of Dominique in "Sparks" ;)

Bad guys who are girls ftw! haha. You don't see a lot of that, but it does happen so why not? And Scorpius's 2k Galleons is going to be spent quickly of course - those two don't have a ton of forward-planning happening.

I'm so glad you liked it, and thank you so much for reviewing! The next sequentially is "Sausages and Cookies" (a Teddy/Victoire one-shot) and then "Sparks" and then is "Next Midnight" :)


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Review #42, by Gryffin_DuckJust Another Midnight Run: Chuck Finley?

23rd May 2012:
Hi, WTM! I figured I'd leave one long review instead of small ones on each chapter. Especially since I read it pretty fast once I got it on my Nook...

I adore the way you characterized Rose and Scorpius. They're so different from any other way I've seen them written that I was able to get past my dislike of Scorose. Rose is just so funny and so unlike Hermione. It's wonderful. And Scorpius as an artist, there's one I never thought of before. But it totally fits.

The whole Weasley family was great. Each one had a distinct personality and their interactions were awesome. I especially loved Molly the Quidditch player and Louis with his many girlfriends. Harry, Ron, and Hermione were awesome as well, and you wrote them in a very believable way. And I definitely loved the whole "Weasleys never turn down free food" thing.

The plot itself was really good. I had a feeling Knapper was involved with Venatici, but had no idea Worthing would be involved. Definitely a shock there. The kidnapping scene was great. I love reading/writing inept criminals. The arguing between Pulford and Worthing about what to do with Rose and Johnny was hilarious. And Johnny with his manticore thing. That was great.

Such a great story! I'm going to move on to the sequel now. Can't wait to read more about Rose and Scorpius and see what they get up to next! :)

Author's Response: Hey Duckie! Thanks for reviewing, sweetie :D

I'm glad the ScoRose haters (which I totally understand, I actually don't usually like the ship either) can still enjoy this story. Rose the way I write her is not very Hermione-ish. She's much more Ron-ish, if anything. I like Scorpius as an artsy type, with music and painting and wearing his hair in a ponytail XD

Writing the Weasleys is probably my favorite part of the Next Gen thing (or any story really). Molly the Mohawked pro athlete and former Head Girl, Louis and his bevy of inappropriate women, Fred the dorky but sweet puppy dog guy. They're so much fun. You'll get to see a few more of them in the sequel. Writing the trio, I really haven't written them much in their teen years, but I really love writing them as grown-ups and parents.

They are definitely almost as inept as Rose, that's for sure. haha. It would have gone better if they were able to improvise better, or just killed everyone on sight. Oh Johnny Lupin, he is unimaginably fun to write. XD

I'm so glad you liked it! Definitely let me know how you like the sequel! There are three one-shots that fit in my Next Gen universe, you read one of them so far, and then Sparks, I think you'll like that one too. Thank you so much for the review!


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Review #43, by Gryffin_Duck"Inspired By" Collection: Safe And Sound

18th April 2012:
This was so sweet! The emotions came across really well. I especially like how you started it when Ron left because I can only imagine how Hermione felt at that point. Then the jump to the final battle was really fitting because that's when they finally admitted their feelings for each other. And the end was so adorable. I love Ron and Hermione. Great one-shot! :)

Author's Response: thanks so much! I'm not usually a R/Hr shipper, but lately they've invaded my plot bunnies lol

thanks again Ducky!

~SLy


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Review #44, by Gryffin_DuckA Hero's Footsteps: Prologue

30th March 2012:
Great introduction! Percy is such an intriguing character which is why I picked this story to read. Even though Percy wasn't in this chapter I still enjoyed it.

The flashbacks were awesome! I found myself worried along with the kids about what happened to their dad. I'm glad he was okay in the end, and it's completely understandable why they moved to Australia.

Australia! Another reason why I love this story so far. I love Australia and have a story that takes place there, too. I'm very interested in the Sydney Harbour School of Magic and will definitely read on to find out what happens next! :)

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Review #45, by Gryffin_DuckNever There: Scenes at a Graveyard

30th March 2012:
This was so sad! But I loved it all the same. Angst is my favorite genre. Your descriptions were beautiful, from the way you described the graveyard to the way you added in little details about Reid. I particularly enjoyed the way you called the people buried in the graveyard "inhabitants".

The emotion in this was very good. I could easily feel what Reid was going through as he talked to Cecilia about all his various wives. Just the fact that he spent so much of his life having wife after wife really demonstrated how unsettled he was with moving on. Well done!

Lastly, I was easily able to figure out what was happening and what had happened despite not reading the previous stories. You did a great job of giving just enough detail to clue the reader into what happened previously without bogging down the current story. Great one-shot! :)

Author's Response: I was going to say I don't write a lot of angst, but when I looked over my page, I actually have several. Apparently I just don't realize that I write angst haha. Well I'm glad you liked it! Even though it's sad.

Yeah Reid is really unable to move on for a very long time - Cecilia dies when he's 18 and she's nearly 18, and he divorces wife #5 (technically) at age 45, so... Sad guy. But then he marries a psychotherapist, which is luck for him haha

I'm really glad this works on its own, since it's part of such a larger whole I really didn't think it would. Definitely a relief, thank you! And thanks so much for reviewing!


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Review #46, by Gryffin_DuckFlatline: Flatline.

8th January 2012:
I just validated this for you and wanted to leave a review because it is seriously one of the best, if not the best, story I have ever read in the queue! It didn't even feel like I was reading a 9,000 word chapter because it flowed so well and every part of it was necessary and beautifully written.

I love the way you organized it, with the flashbacks, rather than writing the whole thing in chronological order. It was very interesting, and I love how each flashback was related to what Lily was thinking. I think my favorite was either the Christmas flashback or the one where Victoire got married. It was absolutely heart wrenching to read how Lily couldn't wait for Harry to walk her down the aisle.

You actually did make me cry! That's quite a feat, since the number of published books that have made me cry is less than 5. And even fewer fan fics have made me cry. Lily's anguish was very apparent. Again, this was just so beautifully written! Lovely one-shot! :)

Author's Response: Hi,

So I saw this review when you first posted it but I've been trying to think of how to respond to it properly because this is legit the best review I've ever gotten and I didn't want to reply with just a 'Thanks :) xo'

But honestly, thank you for taking the time to actually leave a review! I wasn't exactly sure if I was happy with this when I posted it, but seeing this review (among others) has made me decide that I actually didn't fail at this one haha.

So once again, thanks for stopping by to tell me what you think!! It made my day.


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Review #47, by Gryffin_DuckIvory: Ivory

2nd October 2011:
This was absolutely beautiful, Marina!!! I've never seen Swan Lake, but I think I need to after reading this. Your writing seemed to mimic ballet movements, if that makes sense. It flowed and was graceful and beautiful. The plot fit very well with the Swan Lake format. I really enjoyed the characterization and the relationship between Astoria and Daphne. They're two very unexplored characters and it was great getting to know them through this story. Great job! :)

Author's Response: Eee thank you Sarah! I'm glad that you enjoyed it despite having never seen Swan Lake - I actually haven't seen the ballet, but I'm familiar with the story and I know the music. I was trying to pull off an almost ballet-like narrative so it's great that you picked up on that :D Thank you so much!

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Review #48, by Gryffin_DuckBreathing Underwater: I

2nd September 2011:
Hey Leslie! This was absolutely beautifully written. I really felt Rose's pain as I read. I'm not big on Rose/Scorpius, so this was a perfect version of the ship for me to read.

The fact that Rose jumped into the river and held her breath for so long was really fitting. The imagery of that while she was sorting through her pain fit really well. I especially liked how she counted the time she was underwater.

I'm so glad that Rose doesn't want to get Scorpius back. She's a strong person in this and I like that. He doesn't deserve her and I got the feeling that she walked away from this ready to face the world and never looked back. Really great one-shot! :)

Author's Response: I'm not much for Rose/Scorpius, either, or Ted/Victoire for that matter. Or really Ted/any Weasley-Potter next gen girl. It's so overdone and cliche'd that I like reading of the couples not working out. And when I write a one-shot of either ship (only have ever written this one and a teddy/vic one-shot) they never end up together. I just see Ted as being with someone more original, non-canon, because he's Harry's godson and would have grew up around the Weasley-Potter kids in an older cousin type relationship. Though, there are a couple authors I'll read for Rose/Scorpius and Ted/Victoire.

Aw, thanks, I'm glad you liked the decisions I made in fleshing out Rose's character based on her decisions and no-nonsense attitude as she continued to look forward after her failed relationship with Scorpius. I love writing females who are independent and fierce in accomplishing their feats. I'm glad you enjoyed, Sarah! Thanks again for the review! (:


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Review #49, by Gryffin_DuckLunar: Luminescence

2nd August 2011:
I adore this! I am always on the look-out for good werewolf stories and I do believe I've found one. I've never read any stories about female werewolves, with the exception of a fan fic my sister once started, and I've always found them intriguing because in Harry Potter we only ever meet male werewolves.

Anyway, onto the specifics of your story! I really love how you started this off right in the thick of things. It really hooked me. I am definitely interested in reading more and finding out how she became a werewolf and what lead her to this point.

OCs are always some of my favorites to read because when they're done right they're amazing. I think you've done a wonderful job of characterizing both Diane and her sister and mother in this story. I'm slightly mad at the both of them although I do see where they're coming from since it is her wedding.

Lovely chapter and I can't wait to read more! :)

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Review #50, by Gryffin_DuckA Weasley Christmas: Weasley Jumpers

25th February 2011:
Aww!!! This was so adorable! I don't normally go for fluffy pieces but this one was just perfect. It had that bit of angst in it that makes fluffy ending pieces so much more satisfying. I love reading about Weasley Christmases. They just seem so much fun. I'd love to go to one.

Your characterization of Scorpius was done very well. He's a manly man but still wants to be accepted by his girlfriend's family and that's just adorable. Receiving a jumper is such a simple thing, yet it meant he was accepted by the Weasleys. I haven't read your other story, but you put enough characterization of Scorpius into this so that it did not matter.

I really liked the part when Fleur was talking to Scorpius, not only because it helped Scorpius, but it also gave a sense as to how Fleur's life with the Weasleys had gone after the war. Her relationship with Molly post-Deathly Hallows has always been something that intrigues me. Really great story! :)

Author's Response: You know, a little bit of angst does spice up some fluff, it's true. ;) Weasley Christmases always make me happy for some reason. I do love the Weasleys.

Scorpius is quite secure in his masculinity (despite his love of showtunes) and he puts up with quite a lot of crazy out of Rose. I'm glad his character came through even without reading the Midnight Run stories.

I really think Fleur is the only one who could understand what it's like to be so unwanted by the Weasleys, while watching others be accepted. They didn't like her, didn't want her around, even while they welcomed Harry and Hermione with open arms. Scorpius and Fleur have a similar experience in being outsiders. So I thought her having a bit of a conversation with him about that would fit.

Yay I'm so glad you liked it! Thank you very much for the review!


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