Good one Patty, the humour was spot on, I was grinning from start to finish, I just knew James would not be allowed to get too smug, he should know better than to try to get one over on the members of the fairer gender in his family.
Loved it my friend.
Tom

Author's Response: I am happy to hear that, you made my day :) I'm glad it worked out. I wanted it to seem like Rose was positive the dare was going to be a totally different animal, so she inviites everyone to watch the fun, but she ends up embaressing herself with many witnesses. Yet in the process the girls make her proud, and James learns a lesson. In the end she receives a something she never saw coming, love.

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Nice insight into the probable character of Petunia. Hard as flint, yet vulnerable, resentful but also needing to know. Well written piece, I can see this happening if Petunia did attend (or even organise) Lily's funeral.

Author's Response: Thank you so much :3 I think I got it on the HP Wikia that Petunia organised the funeral, so yeah. Gah, thank you so much :3

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I can only think of one word after that, Beautiful.

tgfoy

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm so honored :) Thank you for reading and reviewing and I'm glad you liked it

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Found this from your link on facebook. Fantastic opening chapter, dark and opressive mood with just a glint of hope from Sirius. Looking forward to seeing how this develops.
Tgfoy

Author's Response: Thanks so much for stopping by and reviewing! I'm so pleased you thought this was so dark - that was my intention, haha!

Thanks again!
-Elizabeth

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Strangely beautiful, it brought a tear to my eye, good old Myrtle.

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You capture the "tunnel vision" view of the fanatic well in this piece, the need to defend his view at all costs, the need to not fail again. Well written, portrait of the charcter in an extreme situation, trying to "normalise" it.

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Nice second chapter, a few small errors of spelling etc, perhaps a Beta reader could help you, but still enjoying your tale. looking forward to the next chapter.
tgfoy

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Saw your message on leaky group, so came over to read your story. I am so glad I did. that was so moving and well written. Thank you.

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Interesting start, bags of potential, looking forward to seeing where you take this.

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So moving, a masterpiece. Thank you my friend.
Tom

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Well done, great chapter. Glad you chose to simply sumarise the year and concentrate on the childrens reactions. Just one error, Draco wasn't on the Slytheryn quidditch team until the second year so he couldn't have gone flying off his broom in Harry's first match, but hey it didn't spoil the story.
I am loving the insights into the familiy you are providing.
Keep up the good work, I am really enjoying your story and writing style. Well done.
Tgfoy

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Just found this and really like it. You have an interesting idea here, it will be interesting to see how you play this. It could either simply retell the stories or explore the reactions of the children. I hope that the latter will be the enphasis of your story (it seems it will be from what you have written so far). Albus is a parcelmouth too, that holds an interesting potential for later chapters, I also liked that the Potters owl was named Dobby (I always had a soft spot for him). Great start, have favourited it, and can't wait for the next chapter.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the great review! I've started writing chapter 3 so it should be posted soon so tell me what you think and any ideas would be grateful!

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Can't wait to see where you go with this, it's a good first chapter.
Only one thing bothered me, in your note at the end you say "now to defend chapter 1!" Sorry but why should you need to defend it. It's your story, how you see the aftermath, I don't think that needs defending. Yes it's a diferent take to the one I took in my story but it's a Valid take on it, both ways are valid you shouldn't need to defend that aspect of the story. If I were you I would be proud of it, you have captured the panic you think he would feel well and his reaction to it. am favouriting this one.
Well done.
Tgfoy

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great chapter, love Phils story and the interaction between them all. Just one niggle, your description of Yorkshire in the tenth century, it was far more than a wildernes with a few little settlements, Yes it had much countryside and forrest but it contained many major trading centers, including the largest settlement in the world at the time, Jorvik, a city of over 10,000 souls then. It was a very wealthy county due to it's trade with the known world and Jorvik a mix of period houses and usable surviving buildings from the roman period, it wasn't alone in that regard either.
Sorry I know it is a small point but it just niggled this old Yorkshire archaeologist.
Loving the story though, well done.

Author's Response: You're right, I forgot to add a part that Phil's family lived up near the Scottish Border and there was a lot of wilderness up there. That was how he managed to keep his nature secret for so long, he wouldn't have been able to near a large city. I am adjusting that part now. Thanks for your review, I meant to put that in there before, but it was so late when I posted I totally forgot.

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The prosecution builds and Vernon is more and more isolated. Even his sister appears to be abandoning him.
The family meeting must have been a shock for him.
Looks like Harry, Dud and Petunia are becomming a family, in a true sense, uniting in adversity to be there for each other.
Still enjoying this story (sorry it's taken so long for me to read it, real life has been preventing me getting on here recently). Looking forward to more.
Take care.
Tgfoy

Author's Response: i understand about real life, my friend. again, thanks for your words of encouragement and you will see more

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Like you seem to have done, I always thought Petunia was oppresssed by Vernon in JKR's books, now free of him she is letting her feelings out. Good on you Petunia. Dudley is showing a caring side more and more, Vernon is just so arrogant, even in the face of the law. He thinks he can buy his way out of anything with either cash or influence doesn't he. At least his Lawyer has seen through him. One of my favourite aspects of your story though has been the way you have Wizards popping up in the muggle world, the two are in the same country after all so must mingle occassionally.
Great so far, can't wait for the next chapter. Well done.
Tgfoy

Author's Response: thank you for your comments! they do mean a lot

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The build up to the confrontation was good, raising my expectations, but I wonder if Vernon gave in too easily to his wife and son, perhaps there is more on this to come. His fight with Harry was over quickly, probably quite realistic considering the others arround at the time. In one way I am glad it wasn't a calamity in another I would have liked to see Harry get revenge on Vernon a bit more, but that's probably me being vindictive.:-)
This is a great storyline you are developing can't wait to read more so I am off to read chapter 5 straight away. I hope Harry is ok ( and petunia and Dudley who must have witnessed what happened).
Tgfoy

Author's Response: i trust you enjoyed chap. 5. THANKS!

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I would have liked a little more detail in this chapter, Dudley's feelings being amongst this much magic for the first time, reactions of other students, his reactions to the seeing the building, that kind of thing. However the chapter has a good story to it and a minor cliffie with the ministry reference and Dudleys reaction, will he react angrily, will they be able to do anything about it?
Dudley is really developing as a character though, his change of heart has been more than attitude, it's brought about a whole new perspective to him.
Well done.
Tgfoy

Author's Response: consider that lack of detail a minor slip on my part. you've read later chapters, so i think you'll agree they more than make up for my goof. thanks!

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Interesting, I thought there was something a little dumbledoreish about Smythe (the caring atitude in the previous chapter and the suggested way of fixing things at school, I wonder if Smythe was doing a mrs. figg at the school.)). Dudley at Hogwarts should be interesting too. A bit puzzled that if dudley ate with the staff, how come Harry doesn't appear to have spotted him at the staff table during the meal? he seems so shocked in Dumbledores office he can't have done so.
Still enjoying the story and the style of your writing.
Tgfoy

Author's Response: think, if you will, how harry's always involved in talking w/ ron and the others at meals. could have been pre-occupied. after all, barely anyone pays attention to the head table unless albus speaks and very little attention to anything except that. thanks!

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good start, It is interesting the way you have introduced this. The dementors have had a profound effect on Dudley (who although I hated his actions I have always liked as a character). His contrition seems genuine, his actions show a bravery hidden beneath his cowardly bullying behavior of canon. It seems the staff are particularly caring even of a massively failing student, both academically and in character. With thier support I am sure he can do it.
You have a nice writing style, easy to read but with depth.
I like it.
Right I'm off to read chapter 2

Author's Response: evidently, you've read more than just chapter 2. i must be doing something right! THANK YOU!

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Briliant fluffy chapter. Yes there is the worry about Dud and Petunia but lots of fluff there. What a fantastic birthday for Hermione, lucky girl, all those gifts and the family have stiil to find the instruments.
Glad Dumbledore is going to introduce music to the school, I expect the concert will surprise many there. I wonder what Harry was discussing with him, well knowing you all will become clear in due course.
By the way Harry must have got some Scotish notes from somewhere, the largest denomination the Bank of England issues are £50 but the banks in scotland do issue £100's though Scotish notes do cause confusion in much of England many places refusing to take them even though they are legal tender accross the UK. (Odd thing is though businesses have to check it's ok with the customer to give Scottish notes in change stricktly speaking.) Also I guess Jello is like jelly (a moulded geletin based desert) in the uk. Both are minor things that certainly did not detract at all.
The story is going from strength to strength Robert. The shadow of Vernon is hanging over them all and we havn't seen his evil sister for a while, I keep expecting her to rear her ugly head and spoil the fun for them. I was waiting for her to demand to see her "Nephypoo" in the hospital, I am glad it didn't happen during the birthday celebrations though.
The lockets were a brilliant thought, the description perfect.
You were right, I did enjoy this chapter. It's going to be interesting when they return to Hogwarts.

Well done again
Tom

Author's Response: Sorry about the bank note goof, Tom. One of these days, I'll have to fix that.
Yes, Jell-O is a brand name/common name for gelatin desserts. "Jello" is the generic name.
Yeah, this was a fun, fluffy chapter. But it brought the four closer to each other. And Brian and his mum are being made a part of the family. Harry's ability to forgive those who have wronged him seems almost limitless. Note that I said 'almost'.

Music will return to the school, as it should. And big time, too! :-)

I had to laugh when you mentioned Marge. I've already written that scene, and it's a hoot! :-) But you'll have to wait for Chapter 15 to read it.

Tom, thanks for the tips, and the review. I really appreciate them. BTW check your e-mail today at about 1800. There should be something there by then.

Robert

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Go dudley, at last he is allowing himself to be himself. Vernon is damn lucky to have such an understanding bos though often "gardening leave" as its often called means that the sack is not far behind especialy if any convictions (even non custodial) follow. It can be seen as a way to get rid of someone without need for a confrontation.
The confrontation at Privet drive and Vernons demeanor showed how delusional he is, mind probably also in shock and denial of course. Mind the denial will be less easy to keep up now he has been evicted from the marital home by his son.
I presume Death is still on his horse, for now at least.
Again the magic that is music is weaving through the chapter, leaving it's mark even on Dud. Brilliant.
The boy's reaction to Hermione's image change was hilarious.

This story is getting better and better with each chapter, I am so glad this chapter wasn't delayed, Mind I would love to see the originals of the chapters you had to edit my friend, It would be interesting to see what they add to the story.

I am looking forward to reading more of this. It has become more and more intriguing with each chapter. Great stuff Robert.

best wishes.
Tom

Author's Response: "Gardening leave"? That's not a term that I have heard before, but it does fit nicely.

Vernon is very delusional, and that will come into play in a later chapter, with tragic results.

Yes, Tom, Death is still astride his pale horse, just waiting for the right time.

Without the music, Where would they be? Lost, I think.

I'm glad that you like this story, Tom. As for the unexpurgated parts, I'll see about that on Sunday, so be patient.

The next chapter has been uploaded, so hopefully, you, (and everyone else), won't have to wait too long. I think that you are really going to enjoy this one! :-)

Robert

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Like where you are going with this story, have favourited it, but I must ask was it intentional to copy the last 3 paragraphs earlier in this chapter? I only ask because I know how easy it is to copy and paste things in thewrong place unintentionally.

Anyway so far good story, I'm enjoying it.
Tgfoy

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Wonderful, just wonderful. The relationships between them are growing stronger, the poolside antic's, what a lovely image of family life, the sort Harry has missed out on until he came to the Grangers. His reaction to the attackers death, to the point but not over done. His and Hermione's link again perfectly balanced for a new discovery. Hermione can be quite cheeky can't she? The comment about breathng heavily, superbly timed (as was Harry's joke on Ron.).
What a talented family they are, all accomplished musicians, Harry's hidden talent was a surprise, but a welcome one.
I think the surprises from Harry are going to shock them all, in a nice way. They have become such a close knit family, there is a danger of them becomeing a bit too much so, (Little house on the Prairy style), but so far you have avoided that. This is a great story, can't wait for the next chapter, hope there is not too much hassle getting it validated.
Well done again Robert.
Tom

Author's Response: Thanks, Tom. Glad that you're liking the story.
I thought it was time that Harry had something resembling a 'normal' family life. Yes, they all are growing closer. More than you realize.
There are quite a few twists coming to this story, and the pace is beginning to pick a bit.
I'm trying to avoid the Ingalls-ish type of family relationships. But when there is a witch and a wizard in your family, I think that kinda blows that formula right out of the water. :-)

Not only is Harry going to have a few surprises for the family, but they are going to have few for him, too.

Robert

Hopefully, the next chapter will be up by Friday. I went through it carefully, and tried to make sure that there wasn't anything in it that would be a rules violation, or that would upset the validators. Let's hope that I succeeded.


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Good work, I agree you need to get a beta (took me long enough to get one) but I am really enjoying your take on this. I loved the idea that Dobby was Kreachers son, it fits well with Narcissa Malfoy being a Black, good thinking.
Can't wait for the next chapter, keep up the good work.
tgfoy

Author's Response: Indeed I need to work on my lettering, I actually beta'ed it myself this time.well took the time to reread it before posting it...seems it did help a bit :-D

About the Dobby thing...I always loved Dobby and saw this as a way to enter that part of the universe a bit...Ive never actually heard Rowling explain how House Elves work reproduction wise, so I just decided they did it like we do :-D
And yeh I figured Kreacher would be an obvious choice as father of Dobby with the pureblood connection their old families both have.

Thanks for the review and taking the time to point out what you especially like ;-D

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