Hi Melian! It's Saeli here :)
Honestly, I like reading this one, it was a good mix of humor and of the sentimental. Kudos to you for this one.
What I like best about this one is Teddy's characterization. I love how he enjoyed the simple things in life and how much he reveled in the beauty of making something homemade, in a sense. I hope other people who'll read this will gain that kind of inspiration.
Thank you so much!
-SaeliAuthor's Response: Hi Saeli!!
I'm so pleased you enjoyed this, it was a bit of a risk for you to just click on a random story that someone pushed at you. So thank you!
I seem to always do the sentimental thing, it must be the way I'm wired. I thought of trying to make it funny but I don't think I could pull off straight humour, I had to throw in the sentiment as well. Bad habit of mine. But if you think it worked, then I'm very pleased because there's always a danger that it's too sentimental, if that makes any sense. :)
I'm also glad you liked the idea of him doing something with his hands, because it's not seen all that often any more and it felt like something he would appreciate.
Thanks again, Mel Report Review
OMG, I love all the suspense in this chapter! Have you considered writing a movie script? I swear, if Jay decided to make an independent film out of a fanfiction, he'd be crazy not to take this!
Hmm, I think it's a little odd that they had to place the two of them together. Wouldn't it be more agonizing if Cass ordered the two of them to be separated? But then again, Scorpius wouldn't have found out about Rose's situation. Maybe Cass had something eviler planned for the two of them (I severely hope otherwise). Poor Rose! She just had to be in this situation.
Gah, I could fangirl you all day!
Please do keep writing! Perfect 10 as always!
-SaeliAuthor's Response: seriously??? wow that is probably the best compliment i have gotten over this fic! wow. thank you!
yeah i did think of separating them, but for transportation reasons, they were kept together. once they get to the camp though...things change.
cheers Saeli!! chapter 10 should be up soon so you will find out what happens next!!
Kate xx Report Review
Tinny! You made me cry! I almost envy Poppy with her relationship with Thunder, he's like a great male authority figure for her. A source of inspiration why she's a Healer.
Thank you so much, reading this again made my day! And I hope this gets chosen :) (Don't ask me what for :P ).
-SaeliAuthor's Response: Saeli, my dear! *glomps*
How sad was it that I only saw this last night? Teehee. But thank you, thank you for this lovely review. It really made me smile! Yay!
I'm sorry, though, that I made you cry, but but... that's a good thing, yes? Not that I enjoyed hearing about you tearing up. :P You know what I mean. Haha. I'm just glad that this affected you somehow. ^_^ And yes, I played around with the father-daughter relationship in this fic, because it's something that I'm more familiar with, tbh. Parents inspire us in many different ways, but children tend to gravitate towards one parent more than the other sometimes, you know? And in her case, it was her father. Glad that you liked it!
And why oh why are you saying thank you? I should be the one thanking you, lovely! So thank you very much again for leaving me a comment on this story. I was rather iffy about this at the beginning, because it was fairly different from my usual style, but I've been hearing some great comments from you guys and now I'm more confident about this. Thank you!
AND OMG CHOSEN FOR WHAT? You're killing me here. :P Tell me! I will stalk you and pester you until you cave. Teehee. I'll see you around, kk? ^_^ Report Review
*gasp* Got me for a moment there, I thought he finally turned! Selina's lines were so...convincing *shivers*.
I love how your Scorpius here is different from your Scorpius in Morocco. It goes to show how flexible and open-minded you are to possibilities. Was it ever difficult to pin down the characters? I mean working on two characters under the same name but for two completely different stories?
Amazing as always!
-SaeliAuthor's Response: Hey Saeli!!
there was a moment, when i was writing this scene, that he almost did turn completely!! im glad selina was convincing though.
thank you, i really appreciate that. in answer to your question, no, it's never been hard - they are two different people. scorpius in this, at the beginning in particular, is still very much a boy, but in Morocco, he is a man. that makes it easier, as does the incredible difference in setting.
Kate xx Report Review
Gosh! I just love it when you make it some sort of a comedy romance then BOOM! it's serious and daunting and...just amazing! I also enjoyed Hugo's character development so is Scorpius'. It felt so real in the Potter-sense, if that made, well, sense LOL.
Can't wait to see what you'll come up next!
Proud member of the Slytherin House :)Author's Response: hahahaha i never meant for that to happen - it was supposed to be a comedy romance. guess it goes to show that i cannot leave off the darker side of life!
thanks Saeli!! i am really pleased you like the characters, Hugo especially, as he is one of my favs to write!
xx Report Review
Hey there MajiKat! It's Saeli here once more..I just couldn't resist reading more of your work, everything is just so fascinating.
Ah yes, the wisdom of the Tarot Cards. Quite refreshing! I must commend you on that.
I adore how accurate your description of The Hecate, even the time aspect of it is absolutely spot-on. Hecate I find to be in one of those grey areas of the Tarot. She both lingers in the Light and Dark aspects of the Wiccan Wisdom, but real-life Hecates are sometimes much more difficult to see in real life when they are not in their card form, if that made sense...
LOL, sorry if I'm sounding different from the usual Saeli. I just study them as a sort of pass-time when nursing school is getting on my nerves.
10/10 as always!
-SaeliAuthor's Response: hey Saeli!!
Hecate is one of my favourite goddesses, and hers is the card I draw the most often from the tarot. I don't know why; maybe I am approaching a crossroads in my life.
Yep, Hecate is the goddess of Samhain. Pagan mythology fascinates me - it was my spirituality of choice and I guess it still is. I just don't practice like i once did.
Thank you darling! I appreciate the review and I am really pleased you liked this!
Kate xx Report Review
That's it! I'm officially converted! I love Scorpius and Rose! Thank you :)
I'm a bit of a science person and I think you got the some if not most of the details right. I think it's amazing how you brought this bit and that bit together. The plot line I find very cohesive and well thought out! I saw your stat in the forums some looong time ago (I'm not even sure if it was you), that you haven't been in other countries really, but you've imagined it quite well!
I can't wait to see chapter 7!
-SaeliAuthor's Response: SAELI!!
a convert! YAY!!!
thanks hun - i was hoping that i sounded convincing with the science bit, lol, as I have no idea what most of that means! I did biology and genetics at school but that was a looong time ago, lol.
yep, that was me. never left my home soil. thank you - i'm glad it's proving realistic!
Kate Report Review
Em is so smart isn't she? James should have been honest from the beginning. I get this feeling that Em like him too but the thought is just lurking at the back of her mind.
OMG, where's chapter 5? I'm definitely hooked on this, and I can't wait for the next one! This is really good stuff, you know! It's light-hearted and funny and drowning in those sweet moments!
But alas, this is the last of my little reviews, I hope they made you smile LOL
Proud member of the Slytherin HouseAuthor's Response: Haha Em is a little bit cleverer than she led on. Yes, yes he should have but we all know what teenage boys are like, idiots. You have a very intuitive sense of my story at the back of your head then, not to give too much away :P Haha, chapter five is about 1/4 of the way finished on my computer. I seem to be taking longer and longer write these days! No idea why :P And daw, thanks most of my other stories are kind of depressing and I thought I'd try my hand and lightheartedness so I'm really glad you think it's good! They did make me smile so don't worry (:
Merry Christmas to you to Secret Santa! Alex ;D Report Review
LOL, it's me again :)
I'm loving Russel! I hope to get to see more of him in the next chapters. He has this annoying personality, but you can't help but to like him still. I also want to applaud you for your work on Lavender, she seems so sweet and mellowed out, all in a good way of course!
James dug himself a hole this time didn't he? Can't wait to see how he'll cover it this time!
Happy Holidays and I have one more in the way!!
Proud member of the Slytherin House
(hugs)Author's Response: Howdy! Haha, I really like Russell too, maybe a little too much. He's one of those people who I think you like even though you know you shouldn't because they're so immature (I know several people like that) Aww, and thanks for the Lavender comment, I didn't like her in the books very much but I've read a heap of fics on here where she's a total cow and I didn't think she was like that really. Haha James really did manage to wriggle his way out of it. I don't think I could have been creaul enough to make him do it. :P I'm just away to read your final review, off I go and thanks for this one! Alex. (: Report Review
Hello again! It's your secret santa! yay!
OMG, poor James! He just told Em he loves her and she doesn't see it that way. What will he do next? I think James should reconsider taking advice from Uncle Ron..Maybe Uncle George will do better LOL
I wonder, was it difficult writing this one in James perspective? How did this idea come about? I'd love to know!
Thank you so much!
-Proud member of the Slytherin HouseAuthor's Response: Hello again to you to! I woke up to find 3 more reviews from you, definitely made me grin so thanks for the present! :D
Haha, I'm not so sure it's that she doesn't see it that way, more that she doesn't know he's being serious because let's face it, its James Potter we're taling about! :P
I think to begin with, when I first got the idea (no idea where it came from though I think I was just thinking about how much I loved that Ron finally got Hermione in the end) it was super easy to write like him but I have to admit it's getting a tad more difficult as each chapter progresses.
Thanks for another lovely review, Secret Santa (: Alex. Report Review
Hi!!! I'm Saeli from the forums and I'm your Secret Santa!!! (Not so secret anymore, is it?)
I love your James, he feels so real and this is just the first chapter! I also love how you named your chapters, very creative :D!
I also want to applaud you for giving Ron justice! I just think he isn't love here as much as he should be! Thank you!
Adding the Jarvey was funny too!
Did I just end every paragraph with exclamation points?! I guess I just love it so much that I already added it in my favorites :)
See you in the next chapter!!
Proud member of the Slytherin HouseAuthor's Response: Hey!! Nice to meet you not-so-secret santa :D
Dawww thanks, I always loved James Potter snr. But never felt like I could give the Lily/James ship justice, especially with all the great stories already on here so I went with James Potterjnr. I'm glad you like him (: Making characters realistic is something I've been working a lot on! Yeah! I know what you mean, I've read a lot of fic that have him as a caveman or a grouchy annoyance (which he probably is some of the time) You added it in your favourites? That makes me smile like a creep. See you there Secret Santa! From another proud Slytherin, Alex (: Report Review
Thank you, this piece truly touched my heart.Author's Response: Thank you for reading! So glad you stopped by! Report Review
Hi! It's Saeli from the forums, here for your well-deserved review :)
Wow, I just love this story and I can't wait to see the next chapter! The plot is wonderful and original. The flow was done elegantly and the characterizations were accurate. I particularly enjoyed your take on Arthur's, he felt amazingly right.
I definitely felt everything; Harry's confusion and sense of weakness, Sirius almost-insanity, Remus' self-doubt..Ah! It's so heavy, I just enjoyed it so much!
I want to know more and I want feel that dread or worry of what will happened tomorrow again! That sense of isolation..just wow.
Wondrous piece you have here and I hope the next chapter will be coming up soon!
-draconian88Author's Response: Thank you so much! Sorry this took so long! I hope to update soon, so keep checking back! Report Review
Hi! This is Saeli from the forums, here for your review.
Whilst reading through your work, I would like to suggest something; it would be details. Try adding details into your stories to lead the reader into imagining what's in your head. Great writers in a way are like painters. Their canvas is the readers mind, and the medium they use are words. Adding details, I also find, add interest for the reader. Have you read Anne Rice's work? She has a way with details that would take you away and make you feel like you are actually there. JKR too has that magic :).
I also noticed that the flow was slightly fast paced. If you are planning for this story to be a Novella, then by all means take your time in developing your story.
I hope the suggestions I made helped you in some way.
-draconian88Author's Response: I'll try to work on revisions when i get a beta. Thank you for the review Report Review
Hi! This is Saeli from the forums :)
Great opening there.
It sort of sparks the interest of the reader right away. I also loved how you merely implied canon characters like, Malfoy, Jordan, and Percy. Luna's characterization too is accurate, I think.
I don't see any problem in this chapter so good job to a very well thought out chapter.
-draconian88Author's Response: :D Thanks very much for reviewing, Saeli :) Report Review
Hmm I wonder what was Sirius planning?
Poor Quinn, bombarded by useless questions. I think she should take-up Mary's idea of passing out pamphlets.
The characterizations are doing well. Although Mary's character needs to be addressed, I haven't seen much of her tactlessness, as you have described in Chapter 2.
The flow is also doing well so far, and the plot is interesting. I hope to see the next chapter soon.
-draconian88Author's Response: Hello, Saeli! *hugs*
Thank you very much again for another wonderful review!
Hmmm.. Sirius was just planning to talk to Quin, really. Hahaha. She was just very, er, affected by his sheer charisma. It's part of my characterization of Sirius, too. One of my reviewers actually pointed out that I'm getting too fast with my development with Sirius' and Quin's relationship, but see, I just wanted to show that Sirius, while it can be argued that he was a ladies man, really had that effect on women, and Quin wasn't particularly immune to his charm, but it doesn't mean that she's very taken with him. Hahaha. I hope I'm making sense. :P
Ahh. Well, I agree with you that Mary didn't really made much of an impression on this chapter. She really didn't had that much exposure as well, because she and Quin didn't have that much interactions together, that's probably why. But as I said, I'd like to introduce my OC's a little at a time, so rest assured that you'll be able to see more of Mary on the next chapters. ^_^
You know what? I'm hoping to see the next chapter soon too! Heehee. I'm working on it. Hopefully, my fickle brain would make up its mind soon. :P
Thank you very much! I'll see you around, my dear! ^_^ Report Review
uhm, scratch the comment I made in the last chapter :) I can remember her name now :P.
Funny chapter. "Have you experienced that kind of infatuation where you hear a soft, sexy strumming of a guitar whenever the person you like comes around?" I definitely loved this line :).Author's Response: Hello, hello! ^_^
You are very sweet. I'm glad you found this chapter funny. Thank you! *hugs*
One of the reasons why this chapter was rather short was because I wanted it to focus on the Marauders, because we all love those guys, yeah? Heehee. And I wanted Quin to have the last word, too. :P
Ahh. That line was one of my Aha! moments and I have my crazy muse to thank for that one. I think it was a result of watching too much movies on my part actually. You know those cliche scenes when the leading man will come in and there'll be sexy background music and the scene will be in slow motion? Yeah. I've seen a lot of those, so I thought I'd pay homage. :P
Again, as always, thank you very much for this short and lovely feedback! See you on the next one! ^_^
Hi! Me again :)
Another great chapter, right there. The girls were nice to read about. It's a bit early, I think, to talk about the characterizations of each, although Gen had made herself distinguishable from the others, so has Lily.
The name of your OC was a tad hard to catch, since it hasn't been mentioned much, but since it's written in her perspective, its alright. After all, it will be odd if she'd speak about herself in third person.
Great chapter :)
-draconian88Author's Response: Hey! It's you again! Heehee :P
First of all, thank you very much for your kind comments! Yaaay!
I'm so happy you like the girls! One of the reasons why this chapter was a rather long one actually was that I wanted to feature the girls in that scene inside the dorms. I always feel that, when you want to know a character better, presenting them while they're having interactions with the other characters is the best way to do so, yeah? So I really made it a point to polish that part. And yeah, so far you only got glimpses from the girls. Heehee. I just want to introduce them little by little as the story progresses, because it's more fun that way. :P And yes! Gen is a rather compelling character, no? She really commands attention wherever she goes. Good catch! And gah! Believe it or not, I did have trouble with Lily a little bit when I was writing this. I couldn't pin her down as a Hogwarts student, for some reason. But I think I get her better now. *fingers crossed*
Awwwe. Sorry about the name. Heehee. But I do like the name I chose for her, you know? I have a trivia! Her full name's Quinelle, yes? And I chose that because she's the fifth inhabitant of that dormitory and 'Quin' means 'fifth' (duh! :P) while 'Elle' means 'woman/lady' so I thought it fit really well. Heehee. I love names. I love researching their meanings. ^_^
Thank you for another great and awesome review! I loved it! *glomps*
Hi! This is Saeli from the forums, here for your review :)
I have to say, this chapter was fun to read. The characterization, I think, was done well. After the first part, I can't help but like the character already with her witty remarks and lack of vanity. I particularly enjoyed the Dx given to Bennett, Hamper's Syndrome, (which mighty feels like hypothyroidism in muggle terms).
Albeit I must admit, a part there got me confused. Was she remembering what happened to her 5 mos ago as she looked at herself in the mirror? How can someone not look at herself in 5 mos to discovery that she'd lost weight? Surely she'll notice it? yeah?
Very witty chapter, reminds me of a good one I read a couple of years back :).
-draconian88Author's Response: Hello there, Saeli! *hugs*
Pfft. What's with the formality? Heehee. Kidding! Thank you very much for this lovely feedback! I really appreciate it. And I'm glad you found this fun to read. Yaaay! That is, of course, the reaction that I want my readers to get, so I'm glad I got that point across. Woah! And you found this witty, too? Score! To be honest, when I began writing this, I wasn't sure on how I did with the humour part, because I'm slightly new with writing fanfiction and I have no idea how people will find MY brand of humour, you know? But so far, I've been getting awesome feedback from people and I must say, you lot gives me more motivation to improve and that's always good! ^_^
Hmmm. As I said before, if there'd be one thing I was proud of in this story of mine, it would be the characterizations - especially with my OC's. I feel like I know them personally, see? Especially Quin. I found her character very fun to write and her story was very dear to me that I felt that I should share it (and hopefully do it justice :P), so I'm really, really happy that you liked her.
About the diagnosis and all the medical jazz. Hahaha. There's a funny story behind that actually. Behind Hamper's and butteroinks, I mean. I was actually studying for an exam about thyroid problems when I got the idea for this story and I sort of played with the words a little bit. And you're quite correct. Hamper's was indeed inspired by the symptoms of hypothyroidism and a little bit of thyroid cancer, so good call, future RN! ^_^
Again, thank you very much for your kind words. It really made me smile. ^_^ Report Review
Hi! This is Saeli from the forums, here for your review :).
I love how you used the first line in both the beginning and in the end of this one-shot. Nice touch right there. I also felt Arthur's annoyance with the receptionist, so that's well done, albeit he might have sounded like a teenager for a moment there.
I would like to suggest to get a little more into the details of the story. Like how did he feel when he said goodnight to his son? Did he know or even had an inkling that those will be he his last words to Bill? What did his room look like? What was his dread like when he walked towards his son's ward? What crazy assumptions did he make?
Other than the details, I loved the story still. The end part just left a gaping hole right there, knowing you'll never see your son again nor hear his voice or even see him smile again...At least that's what I felt while reading it :D.
Hoping to read your next feat.
-Draconian88Author's Response: Wow. You got to this fast!
Thank you. I thought using the same line would add an effect, and I'm glad you picked up on this.
Yes, I can see why you think Arthur seemed a little childish - but, this was intentional, because I feel that we see the "grown up" side of Arthur alot, we never seem to see him "lose his lid" as they call it, so I wanted to show this side of him a little more I guess.
Thank you for the suggestion, If I ever get around to editing this story I think I will consider adding more details in to these areas, especially the ending (which I'm not 100% happy with)
Thank you for taking your time to give me the wonderful review!
- Laurie. Report Review
Hi! this is Saeli from the forums. I saw this story in one of our threads in the common room and I wanted to show some love to a fellow Slytherin :).
It's wonderful how you've decided to depict Lucius as this kind of a loving father. It's quite refreshing since he was always depicted as the cold-hearted man.
The flow went well for me except for the three years lapse, it sort of slighted the momentum but other than that, it went quite well.
I hope you will continue with this refreshing feat and get chapter 2 up soon :)
Thank you so much for your kind words and being the first person to reply to my request for reviews. I decided to make Lucius nice, as it is different from the way we see him in the books/fanfiction. I caught myself wondering what happened before the books, during the time that Voldemort had vanished when Draco was born. So bada bing, bada boom! We have precious moments. :)
ox Peaky Report Review
Hi! this is Saeli from the forums :)
I find the first chapter interesting..I guess I can relate to the character is some way ha ha ha ha. Anyway good opening, hope to see the next chapter soon!Author's Response: Thanks. Glad you find it interesting. hopefully less than a week. Report Review
I love this chapter but I need more!!!
Insomia isn't really good for my health, but it's worthed! I just love it so much...didn't i say that like 5 times here on review? :laughs:
In this chapter, I pity Narcissa even though she was a wee bit anoying for getting in the way...I hope she'll get well in the later chapters.
draconian88Author's Response: Oh no, don't tell me I've made an insomniac out of you! =o Haha.
Thanks so much for the kind review. I hope you continue to enjoy the upcoming chapters. Report Review
I LOVE IT SO MUCH I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER!!
In this chapter, I found Draco's reaction quite odd when he saw Hermione. Why did he ask if he was dreaming? Did the dementors somehow addled his brain (I hope not)? and why was Nathaniel tired that day, is he sick? Why didn't they tell Hermione that Draco is still alive? Is Lupin the mastermind on why Hermione found out the truth just now and if he did, why?
All these questions are overwhelming me! I really hope the next chapters will come out soon 'cause I won't be able to sleep until then!
PS. I love your writting style! could you do me a favor and read my fanfiction? Its called A Different Being. I really need someone to tell me how ugly or good it is. Its my first one here so please don't hold back. Thanks!Author's Response: Thank you so much! (;
Well, Draco's been in Azkaban for six years. He's been dreaming about Hermione for so long, he thinks he's still dreaming. And with the conditions at Azkaban, and the dementors causing him to continually relive his worst memories, it's hard for him to tell reality from his delusions. He's verging on insane at the moment.
Your questions will all be answered in time. I hope you aren't plagued by insomnia till then!
Sure, I'll take a look at it. It probably won't be until this weekend, because I've got theatre rehearsals every night, but I'd love to return the favor and review your story. (; Report Review
I love it even more!
The sentences were simple yet well constructed and the specific details made it much more interesting.
Honestly, it didn't matter that it wasn't long. The thrills made up to what you believed it lacked in length
draconian88Author's Response: thank you so much - lovely comments that are making me blush! x Report Review
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