Reading Reviews From Member: JSB 073
392 Reviews Found

Review #1, by JSB 073Pretty Boy: Finches

22nd January 2011:
Hey Layla! It's Jessica from VTM, just in case you forgot. It's been a while... :) And I've got to say, I'm so happy you came back to writing, if only for this chapter. And if this is only one chapter, I'm happy to see it.

You know how long I've been a fan, ever since You'll Fall for Me, and what's great about being a fan for this long is to see how your writing has grown. You'll Fall for Me is one of my favorite stories to go back to to see the evolution of writing through one author. And if anything, your writing has certainly grown maturely, with you and your now collegiate life.

I definitely see characterization here, I'm not quite sure about previous chapters because they're a bit fuzzy and Iím too lazy to go back and reread those. :D But I like what you've done. You've made Leah determined to show something, and going as far as dating someone she's not particularly interested in but in her idea of what she's trying to show. You've made Sirius nearly rock-solid, and I really enjoy seeing this different side of him that you're writing. Fanfic readers never see this sort of display in character of Sirius and it's interesting and different, but still enjoyable. It's not predictable with what he's doing or how long he and Leah will last if at all. Or who will ďbreak,Ē in a sense (or does that make sense??), first or who will fall first or even who could get hurt first. Because I see in the way you're writing that something nearly monumental will happen to affect their relationship, positively or negatively, only you know and I want to find out! Or... I could just be all wrong, who knows?

Overall, the way you came back to this piece is with a bang, not by the events but by your writing style. If youíve been writing other works, I would just love to see them, somehow, if we could work that out. But if youíre not comfortable with that, thatís fine, Iíve just always really enjoyed your writing and wish I had the motivation to write sometimes. If anything, itís you who inspired me to write my first piece over on VTM, but I havenít gone back to thatÖ

By the way, I love James. Heís awesome as the best friend attempting to befriend the new girlfriend but offhandedly not caring too much, just being friendly. And your attention to detail in the scenes is still great.

One mention, Trelawney wasnít at Hogwarts at this time. And I donít think I have any other criticisms because Iím just biased on how excited I am to see you updated. And a note on Deception, I was upset you abandoned, just it makes sense why. Iím not sure how I feel about knowing how it was to end, but I feel content knowing that I wonít ever be second guessing.

Spelling errors I found: 'recooperating' - recuperating.
'Years of experience has taught'
'beneath. He mouth' - his.

So this is a really long review, but I hope youíre doing well and having a blast as a science major, Iíll be going into that too!

Best of luck!

Author's Response: Of course I remember you! Jesus - it has been a long time, hasn't it? I had actually forgotten about VTM until Vicki left me a review for this story. Funny, isn't it? You and her were the only ones to catch my Trelawney goof. (Guess we know where the real fans are from..)

I want to start off by saying that it has been great having you as a fan - as a supporter and critic, if you will. And it's interesting to read that you noticed my writing change. I guess I'm doing something right, yeah? I also notice a change in yours. This review is very well written. I guess age has done us well. Haha.

In regards to my current works. Honestly, I'm not doing anything. I have these WIPs that I started well over a year ago that I still like and fiddle with sometimes, but don't get anywhere with. For a while (week) I put some stuff on figment, but the layout of the site kind of bothered me so I stopped. What actually happened was I got into journalism while in high school and that's what has effected my writing. I spent three years with that and really spent time developing opinion and perspective pieces - so that's what I was going instead of writing fiction. Now - pfft - study of the sciences is enveloping my life. Hopefully I'll get back to writing eventually.

As far as Deception goes - I'm bummed too. I just couldn't make it work in my head. It was kind of a stupid idea. When it originated I was going through this "I hate boys" phase because I was really quite young and didn't actually KNOW know many boys. Obviously this changed later and I began to realize the premise was ridiculous and I couldn't bring myself to go on with it. So, I'm sorry - especially if the faux ending wasn't what you wanted.

As for THIS story (haha, it's taken me a while to get here, huh?), I'm really happy that you like it so far. I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I don't know where I'm going with it yet so your predictions are as good as mine. I'll think about it. Right now I'm a little worried about the believability of this, but the whole situation is so ridiculous I might as well not consider that, haha.

Thanks for the spelling stuff. I'll try to fix those soon. Good luck with your own writing and school as well!


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Review #2, by JSB 073Along Came Sirius: Chapter Thirty-Two: Best Remember That

30th August 2009:
I love Sirius and Adara. How they just get along and love each other and are able to semi-control themselves around and about the ex-significant other. *cough*Jayden*cough* I just love how they care about each other. But Jayden always somehow screws things up, and this time, with Adara's assistance. But I don't think it's that big of a deal, I'm sure Adara will be able to explain it to James. Hopefully?

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Review #3, by JSB 073Pretty Boy: Silence

3rd August 2009:
I love how typical it is for girls to give advice before a date. And the advice they give slightly came in handy. What was great was how Leah won that whole stare-down-talk! contest. So it shows he's not as completely hollow as he is to others. But this may just happen because of Leah's reasons. I really like how she just brought up Go Fish and they started playing. The Marauders are... well Marauders. Gotta love them!

Author's Response: Oh yes, it is very, very typical. I mean, who knows better how a girl should act on certain dates than girls. =]

She may have won the stare contest, but that doesn't necessarily mean that Sirius likes her more than any other girl. She may have surprised him, but not necessarily won him over.

Thanks for your support!

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Review #4, by JSB 073Along Came Sirius: Chapter Thirty-One: The Aftermath and the Match

3rd August 2009:
Glad that Dumbledore is helping Adara, but it's all really scary about Sirius's family. They're so cute. I love them... as for the Quidditch. Very awesome. And Adara slapping Boot was nice. Boot however is a prat. But it's just really great.

Author's Response: yeahh. i know. haha. thanks!

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Review #5, by JSB 073Along Came Sirius: Chapter Thirty: Friends vs. Enemies

1st July 2009:
Facing people is a challenge. But James really looked into it and had Lily look at him in a new eye. How cute? As for the ending. I don't know what to say. It's all shock for Adara, can she begin to handle this? It's gotta get worse before it gets better...

Author's Response: haha i know, score one for james, yeah? haha. yes, yes it does. thanks so much for the review!!

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Review #6, by JSB 073Pretty Boy: Human?

22nd June 2009:
So this begins the--I don't even know what to call it--between Sirius and Leah. It's amazing how something so small can be blown to such big proportions at a school with barely a population, it's like all the students just feed off of little drama. But I think that's how this story's going to work. This is Pretty Boy after all, the boy who's so gone-after and well, pretty. And popular and just about everything wonderful in the world. Don't be unhappy about the chapter, it's just the beginning, it's going to be great without a problem!

Author's Response: Yeah, I guess you could call it a relationship, but not necessarily an orthodox one.

I definitely tend to exaggerate in my stories with all the roundabout expressions people have and the gossiping, but it's the only way I can really get my points across.

Thanks for the encouragement. And for reviewing!

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Review #7, by JSB 073Deception: An Eye for an Eye

21st June 2009:
Layla! I'm so excited you're back and this chapter was great! I loved it all. Their interaction and the midnight adventure. It was so well written and satisfying. It's what we've all been waiting for and it's great that whatever is going between them has started. Sirius is sounding like such a great person and I hope she notices this. So this moves the plan so much more than it has begun. I'm really excited about where this story's going now, it's going to be exciting and interesting!
I need to get to bed, it's late, or I would leave a longer review...

Author's Response: Yeah, it's definitely nice being back. Glad you liked the chapter and all its weirdness.
The "relationship" between them has kinda started, but kinda not. It's hard to explain. Violet's still in denial. This is all an act to her, or so she would like to convince herself.
Anyway, thank for the informative review. It's encouragement like that which lets me know what I'm doing right and wrong.
Thanks for the continuing support, first at VTM and now here. =]

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Review #8, by JSB 073Along Came Sirius: Chapter Twenty-Nine: Wildfire

26th May 2009:
Sirius and Adara have such a cute relationship... funny episode in the Potions classroom. But why does family and ex's of all sorts have to ruin it all?

Author's Response: aww thanks! haha. i know. i love it. i KNOW. it absolutely sucks.

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Review #9, by JSB 073Along Came Sirius: Chapter Twenty-Eight: Like Never Before

30th March 2009:
Sirius is the sweetest person. And his and Adara's relationship is beyond perfect. Now... I'm just slightly worried something will go wrong.

Author's Response: yeah. that would not be good, would it? haha. muhaha.

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Review #10, by JSB 073Pretty Boy: Curious

30th March 2009:
I'm not confused. I find it interesting that she worked on an impulse like that. I'm just as curious as her about Sirius. His dating history was portrayed fairly well with the whole break up. Nicely written with his almost human feelings. Now I want to hear the big idea.

Author's Response: That's good. Yeah, I hadn't really planned on her being this impulsive, and neither had she, really, but I guess love works in mysterious ways. Haha. Thank you for reading.

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Review #11, by JSB 073Pretty Boy: Prologue: Mockingbird

25th March 2009:
Ahh... Layla. I'm surprised you're back with something new. It was pretty corny, but a little of that every now then is fine. But at least we have come to the knowledge of who this Sirius Black is and why he is like this. And I can't wait to know the other characters.
Nice beginning.

Author's Response: Yep. I'm back, for now, at least.
I'm happy that, despite its corniness, you continued to read. Thanks!

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Review #12, by JSB 073Diamond.: Survival of the Fittest

6th February 2009:
At least she's trying to do something with everything that has been up with her. She's only going about it the way she grew up upon.

Author's Response: :) You're so perceptive and to the point in your reviews I'm ususally not very sure on how to respond to them, but please know that they're very much appreciated.

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Review #13, by JSB 073Along Came Sirius: Chapter Twenty-Seven: Conflicting

29th January 2009:
Sirius is such a sweetheart. Oh my gosh. He's there for her for everything! They're just too sweet.
And she's going through such a tough time, and coping and Claire. I hate cliff hangers and cannot believe you just did that. I'm freaked out now.

Author's Response: i know, i love sirius sooo much. aww. i'm sorry. haha.

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Review #14, by JSB 073Deception: Hogwarts is Going Crazy

22nd January 2009:
Layla! Layla Layla Layla Layla LAYLA!!!
Sorry... I just got super excited when I saw you updated! =) I'm glad you're back!
I don't mind the changes, I just had to go back an reread and refresh my memory. I had some laughs from earlier chapters and I enjoyed this one. All the hype and nervousness about dances are hilarious and you playing it up as done so will be comical.
Lily likes James! And they're going to the dance together! Yay! Finally together after such a long time. And his acceptance of it had me literally laughing out loud.
Conversation between Sirius and "Viola" about Violet was a nice add-in. I just wonder where that will lead to. Maybe he'll ask her to the dance? But something more about his person will have to come up, wouldn't you think?, to really have her see the person he was being at the wedding when she was Violet. And I think that's his true self. He's trying.
Loved it!!!

It's been a while since I've left such a long review, but it's well deserved.

Author's Response: I know. You all probably thought I had died or something. Not quite, just super busy.
I know I hyped up this chapter and girls and boys don't normally freak out about school dances to that extent, but I thought it would be funny to have some exaggeration.
Lily and James. Man, after writing that chapter, I just wanted to kiss James. I'm glad you liked it, too!
As for Sirius and Violet. could be right. I don't know. Well, I do know, but you're just going to have to wait until the next chapter. =]=]=]
Thanks for leaving me a long review. I immensely appreciate it.

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Review #15, by JSB 073Along Came Sirius: Chapter Twenty-Six: Instantaneous

10th January 2009:
Oh wow. Through a really intense moment, they stay away from each other? Yeah, that bugs me. But as you said, dark times turned and she needs him, Sirius that is. Her father and MacKenzie didn't deserve that... and it's so sad. It's finally working for them.

Author's Response: haha. yes. i knoww. =[ haha. thanks for reviewing!

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Review #16, by JSB 073Along Came Sirius: Chapter Twenty-Five: Crashing

10th January 2009:
Jay is just.. UGH for breaking up with her in such a way. But she deserved it because she was in such stupid denial. And the end is just so right to happen for her. She can't just keep going thinking she knows everything, someone needed to tell her.

Author's Response: i knoww. haha. he did need to tell her. haha. thanks!

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Review #17, by JSB 073Along Came Sirius: Chapter Twenty-Four: Impulse

26th November 2008:
Running away and finding Sirius! Stupid fights bring her feelings out, but she won't let them truly out. She's lying to herself. After spending so much time, she loves him as a guy to like, not as a friend... and the end, jealous much?

Author's Response: haha. i know, they really do. she just will not acknowledge them. DENIAL!! haha. =]

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Review #18, by JSB 073Butterflies and Hurricanes: 5: Secret

25th November 2008:
Curiosity killed the cat. Or does that even make sense in this sense? I never actually understood that saying... but oh well... so next?

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Review #19, by JSB 073Butterflies and Hurricanes: 4: Fatal Attraction

22nd November 2008:
And once brought together, things tear them apart.

Author's Response: lol, very true.
hope you're still enjoying!
thanks for your review :)

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Review #20, by JSB 073Diamond.: That Much Worse

21st November 2008:
Running away works... But the way she acts isn't completely working with the situation... She has explantions for her actions, but it's not gonna be enough.

Author's Response: No, Amelie doesn't seem to be using so much tact as she used to. Her insecurities have bubbled up and she's almost becoming as clumsy as Alice was. I can't say much about what's to come, for obvious reasons, so you'll just gave to read on and find out how this all plays out.
Thanks for the review!

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Review #21, by JSB 073Butterflies and Hurricanes: 3: Dangerous Liaisons

15th November 2008:
Another meeting. And Sirius with his unusual personalities is what is pulling her in. I like it...

Author's Response: i'm glad you're liking it! hope that you continue to,
thanks for your review!

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Review #22, by JSB 073Along Came Sirius: Chapter Twenty-Three: A Very Stressful Christmas

12th November 2008:
So not the best Christmas I see... so what does Sirius feel for Adara when he didn't write a letter to begin with? It's evident Adara feels so much more for Sirius, worrying about him and not even writing to Jayden... so what is this jumbled mess?

Author's Response: haha. not really, no. haha. =]

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Review #23, by JSB 073Butterflies and Hurricanes: 2: Enticing

11th November 2008:
First encounters always mean something... but I'm not quite sure what this is to mean..

Author's Response: hmmm, you'll just have to read on :)
thanks for your review!

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Review #24, by JSB 073Butterflies and Hurricanes: 1: Intrigue

11th November 2008:
Nice start. It's always hard to go to a new school and everything... but little interests already begun? Ooh... And glad you're back with this story!

Author's Response: thanks! it's good to hear from someone who recognises this story from the first time 'round.
hope you keep on enjoying it :)
thanks for your review!

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Review #25, by JSB 073Allie's Marauder: Three Words

8th November 2008:
Aww. where'd Sirius go? And hopefully everything will be explained and out in the open?

Author's Response: heehee i guess you just have to wait and see...
thank you hugely for reviewing! :)

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