Reading Reviews From Member: FlyingFree
  
6 Reviews Found

Review #1, by FlyingFreeHey, Fred: Hey, Fred

3rd January 2010:
Absolutely beautiful piece of work. I don't think anyone could have done it any better. The ending was perfect, I'll admit I cried. Spectacular job, extremely moving.

Author's Response: Thank you so much!! I'm really glad you liked it (:

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Review #2, by FlyingFreeI'd Do Anything: Of Trains and Loons

11th June 2008:
Wow, Delia sure is taking her vow of silence far, isn't she?

Great chapter, reading this is like taking in a breath of fresh air. It's so different from other stories I've read. It's GREAT!

Your grammar seemed awesome as usual. Great beta reader!

I love all the little descriptions you give! You are so creative, it's insane!!! =) Great job with that, I have a TON of trouble with it.

I just think you should try to add a bit more length. It seems every chapter we get only a small bit instead of a little story. Just try to keep that in mind for the next few chapters.

Keep up the awesome work and please update soon!!

--Megs

Author's Response: Yep, she's taking this to the grave, so it appears.

Aww... thanks! That really is amazing for you to say.

Thanks again for the fantastic reviews!


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Review #3, by FlyingFreeI'd Do Anything: The Letter that Changed Everything

11th June 2008:
Wow, this chapter was absolutely great! Well written, and again your beta reader did a GREAT job with the grammar. =)

I love Delia's vow of silence, such a creative way to have her deal with her father's disappearance. Very well done!!

Again, I think you should try to add more detail and not make your chapters so short. Give us every little detail possible (without boring us to death of course), because we want to know!!

Also, your vocabulary and description is extremely good and I absolutely love every bit of it.

I'm just trying to finish this review so I can continue onto the next chapter!!!

--Megs

Author's Response: Thanks again! I will work on making them longer, I promise.

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Review #4, by FlyingFreeI'd Do Anything: Prologue

11th June 2008:
Hm, interesting first chapter. I was slightly confused at the beginning, but soon caught on, very nice job.

Your beta reader has obviously been doing their homework, I didn't find many grammar mistakes! =) Thats always nice.

You definately have a sense of writing, you know what your goal is and you use a great vocabulary to describe it. One thing I may suggest is a 'liitle more detail. Just slightly. Add some more information and such.

But other than that, great first chapter! Can't wait to read the next!!

--Megs

Author's Response: Wow! Thanks! That's so nice of yyou to say those things, it makes me feel good about myself.

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Review #5, by FlyingFreePerfection Is Boring: An Intro To Me

11th June 2008:
Wow! Lovely chapter, extremely well written.

I didn't notice many grammatical errors, which was great!! I love your idea for this fic, and Lily is absolutely awesome. You definately developed her character very well, and obviously put a lot of time into figuring out every bit of her lifestyle.

Your introduction was very smooth and didn't just list off facts like many stories do. It had a lot of information and wasn't long and unbearable like some introductions can be. It also flowed very nicely into the actual conversation part of the fic, which can also be very hard to do sometimes.

The only thing to comment on is it seems like this story could either go very cliche or completely original. It seems with a lot of next gen there is always a child that rebels the rest of the family, so try not to focus on that too too much and make sure there is a definite story line that is fun and original. But, I'm sure you already had that in mind. ;)

I loved this part:
'I’ve always thought that when they’re older they should end up with Lorcan and Lysander, but that’s just a very twisted cliché vision of mine, considering they’re like 20. Man I’m weird.'
I thought that was very funny, extremely original, and a great little piece of information!! =)

Great job so far!! Can't wait to read more!

--Megs

Author's Response: thankyou so so much! my first reviewer for this fic! i'm just working out my story line, and i'm planning to not focus only on lily's 'rebel without a cause' thingy. i'm happy you enjoyed it!

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Review #6, by FlyingFreeHows Life When You Have 5 over Protective Gits for Brothers: Fangs

11th June 2008:
Hm, interesting little cliffie at the end. =)

Nice start for your first fan fic. But, there seemed to be a LOT of grammatical errors. Try to find someone to beta read for you! Also, the part where you switch from Alex's point of view to Sirius's is a little random. It was very abrupt and short, so if you're going to switch POVs again, try to make it not so random and a bit longer, so it's not like woah what just happened.

Your first chapter seemed to move at a fast pace. Try to use more details in your next chapter, and I'm sure things will flow a lot easier.

Overall though, it was very good for your first fic. Keep up the great work!

--Megs

Author's Response: dude i am so
sorry for the grammar
but i suck and i mean
literally suck at grammar
and i already got me older sis to
personally so yeah
maybe she sucks to
ty for the heads up
and i will defintly take it on board
please keep reading
and ty for review


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