I just saw your response to my review to your last chapter and it would be great if you can check out my story.
I liked the chapter. Two of my favorite parts was when Remus made the 'antler gesture' to Sirius to let him know James was on his way and the end part when James refers to Sirius as if they were still friends (even though they are still fighting).
I am glad the chapter ended with James deciding he is going to forgive Sirius. I hope we get to see the mending their friendship and how James approaches it. It is the one thing I would like more of is, Sirius and James interaction, but it is your story obviously and up to you.
I also liked your characterization of Peter. Update soon!Author's Response: Yes I will definately check out your story and leave a review :D I'm so glad that you came back and read more chapters.
I'm so happy that you pointed that out, I was so worried that noone would get that reference at all. Poor Sirius and James, they can't be mad at each other for long so the next chapter will be them talking.
I shall update soon I promise :D
Thank you for reading and reviewing :D Report Review
I was a little worried reading this story because I am writing a story about this same incident, but I'm several months past 'the prank' and it is published on this website already to that point, so I don't have to worry about accidentally stealing an idea of yours.
I am enjoying your story. I've always been so interested in the Whomping Willow prank. It is interesting that though Sirius was the one who started this all by telling Snape how to get past the tree, you haven't told us his point of view yet. The chapters so far have been from the point of view of other characters. I'm curious if we will see Sirius's pov or if you have chosen to purposely not tell us exactly what he was thinking.
I did feel this chapter was a little choppy. I think it might be because it jumps from Peter in the hospital wing to Marlene and then Lily (and some of the parts were short). There were also some spelling/grammatically errors, but story was still readable.
I'm excited to see what happens next! Update soon!Author's Response: Oh wow go us!! :D Haha I don't think either of us have to worry, we can each do our own take of it and I'll have to take a read and give a review to yours :D
I'm glad that you're enjoying my story (I'm sorry for how long it's taken me to reply to this lovely review)
I'm going to be going back over my chapter and editing it, I've noticed a few errors myself that I need to change.
Thank you so much for reading my story, I can't wait to read yours xx Report Review
Short chapter, but exciting nothing the less. One small critique is I don't know if Mrs. Black would have known that Remus was a werewolf...and if she had that she wouldn't have told the other parents and forced Remus to leave Hogwarts. Especially after Sirius runs away, what would stop her from going after one of his friends?
I did like the way Sirius stood up to his mother, though. I'm interested to see what you do with the story.Author's Response: Thank you :) I hope you like it anyway x x To answer your questions:
1) "I don't know if Mrs. Black would have known that Remus was a werewolf"
In my fan FICTION :) she does xx she probably didnt in the real story though.
2)"and if she had that she wouldn't have told the other parents and forced Remus to leave Hogwarts"
Dumbledore would not let Remus go! Even though if everyone knew (the parents) they'd want him to go. But Mrs.Black would never be able to convince other parents about that! They'd just think she was saying that because she's... EVIL!! xD
3)" Especially after Sirius runs away, what would stop her from going after one of his friends?"
Well, she doesn't really know any of his friends, not to mind where they live! And anyway, she doesnt want him back!! :)
"I did like the way Sirius stood up to his mother, though. I'm interested to see what you do with the story."
Awhh! Thank you very much I'm glad you liked it, please read on!! :D Report Review
Loved the chapter! Especially liked how you characterized James!Author's Response: thanks very much! glad your liking james :) Report Review
Lovely chapter! I really liked the way you showed Sirius's mixture of guilt and jealousy with regards to Lily going on a date with James. I think you've nailed his character and I like Lily's characterization as well. So far the story has been very realistic.Author's Response: thanks! thats so nice to hear :) hope you keep reading, next chapter'll be up soon :) Report Review
The moment I read Sirius was taking someone else to the ball I knew Lily was going to say yes to James. It is going to get very interesting with Sirius finds out...so update soon!Author's Response: thanks for the review :) good guess lol, and hope you keep reading! Report Review
yay another Sirius and Regulus scene. I laughed when Sirius couldn't remember what the detention was for. I liked the little bit of interaction we see between Sirius and James; you can tell they are close friends just from that little bit. These quick updates are so great!Author's Response: Thank you so much. Glad that you're enjoying. :) --Jenna Report Review
silly Regulus...do you really think you are important enough that an Auror would bother following you around in dog form? I can't wait to see what happens next!Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing. ^.^ --Jenna Report Review
ugh - that dirty little rat! Great characterization of Peter...you stayed true to all their characters. I actually expected another conversation between the characters about their doubt of each other before this scene of the secret keeper, but loved the chapter anyway. Also I love your banner; it was the reason I clicked on your story! Report Review
I'm glad Regulus is no longer with Sarah. It wasn't that I disliked her and Regulus could have def ended up with a worse match, but they weren't right for each other. I'm still not sure what I think of Bartemius.Author's Response: Very true. Sarah and he just weren't ever going to click. They were like oil and...sandpaper. :) Thank you so much for reviewing! --Jenna Report Review
I liked your OC a lot. The viewpoint of an older sister is original. I was surprised by your characterization of Remus. I don't see him as being such a harsh critic of one of his best friends.Author's Response: Thanks so much! Yeah, I know, but I'm making it as a Sirius-is-the-enemy kind of thing. :) Report Review
I liked it! I thought your characterization was very good of all three characters. I guess James and Sirius didn't have two-way mirrors yet? And writing fanfiction is def a very positive way to deal with your own frustrations!Author's Response: YAY! Thank you for being the first to leave a review on my newest story! (Nope - Sirius is only about thirteen or fourteen here, I'd say, and I figure they'd be older if they had the mirrors. My own interpretation!) Writing is the best way to unwind, I find. Thank you so much for the great review!! Report Review
Excellent as always! So happy when I see an update for this story. I was surprised that's what Dumbledore wanted and I did like his little comment about Regulus's strategy at QuidditchAuthor's Response: Thank you so much. :) I'm glad that you enjoyed it and thanks for taking time to review! --Jenna Report Review
awww.I really liked that one-shot. I really felt bad for Dorcas. I liked your description of James through her eyes. Well done.Author's Response: Hello there! Thanks for the review. I'm glad that you enjoyed it. Honestly, I felt bad for her, too. Report Review
i enjoyed the chapter! i really like Lily's characterization. I liked Sirius's line about how cheeky Lily's got. I laughed out loud. update soon!Author's Response: thank you! I'm glad you like my lily :) Thanks so much for the review! i'll update soon! Report Review
o I can't wait to read Sarah's reaction to that! she wanted the truth, and now she'll have to deal with it. enjoyed the chapter as always! it is so well-written, words flow so effortlesslyAuthor's Response: Thank you so much. :) Sorry I didn't answer sooner. The next chapter is actually up now, so you can see. --Jenna Report Review
Another great chapter! I'm always excited when I see an update. I really liked the addition of James Potter at the end. It definitely added a poignancy to the end of the chapter.Author's Response: Thank you. ^.^ I'm glad that you like James, he's going to be making a few more appearances throughout the story. :)
Thanks for taking the time to review! --Jenna Report Review
hahaha! that's great! love Gilderoy's characterization! I laughed out loud about how he assumes everyone thinks James is simpleminded. I can't wait until the next chapter! Report Review
very well written! nice to read a story where Regulus cares so much about his brother, SiriusAuthor's Response: Wow thank you :) I wasn't sure whether it was a bit incoherent so I'm very pleased you think it is well written :D
I'm really happy that you liked it enough to review and thank you for such a nice review :) Report Review
ooo I loved the end part with Sirius! Lots of raw emotion there.Author's Response: Thank you. I'm glad that you enjoyed it. :D --Jenna Report Review
I am glad I re-found this story. Though Lily/Sirius isn't a cannon ship, this almost does fit with cannon, which is impressive. I am glad you made Sirius's actions more redeemable because that is what I always found hardest about this ship is that it didn't fit with their close 'I-would-rather-die-than-betray-you' friendship. Great story overall!Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing ^_^ I've always been a firm believer that the friendship between Sirius and James was more important than anything for both of them. Sirius even states in PoA that he would much rather die than betray his friends so, naturally, he'd never go for the girl James fancies unless it's for James's happiness. Sirius does anything it takes to make James happy, even if it makes him look like the bad guy, and that's ultimately what I was trying to incorporate here. I'm very happy you liked this, and thank you once again for the review, it made my day.
CJ Report Review
Enjoyed the story so far. The paragraphs were a little jumbled in first few chapters making it hard to read. I like your plot and your insight on the different characters.Author's Response: Hey, thanks for the review - yeah, I wrote those chapters a long time ago and forgot to go over them before I posted them so they are a little shakey! I plan to go back and edit them soon.
Also sometimes I get too carried away with the plot and don't think about grammer etc which is something I need to work on!
Thanks for reading, next chapter should be up very soon - hope you enojoy it. Report Review
This sounds like a promising story. I really like Gracie so far.Author's Response: Thanks :) I'm glad you like her. Report Review
I just added your story to my favorites. I read one Lily/Sirius fanfic two years ago, and I really haven't been able to find a good one since then, until now. I think you've done an excellent characterization of both Sirius and Lily - staying true to cannon while putting your own spin on them. With all the Marauder era fanfics out there, the characters of James, Sirius, Remus, and Lily have sort of taken a 'life of their own' that is not based on cannon. Take teenage Sirius from the books, we know he was handsome, 'cool', ran away from home, trouble maker and there was a girl behind him during O.W.L.s eyeing him hopefully - but no where are we told he dated thousands of girls, like so many fanfics have portrayed. I know you've alluded in your own story Sirius's success with girls and I'm not against it, and I like how you have Sirius sort of aloof about it toward Sirius. Anyway I've rambled on and I can't wait for the next chapterAuthor's Response: I'm very flattered to know my humble story has made it into your favorites. ^_^ I know there aren't many good Sirius/Lily stories out there, and I'm really really happy to hear you liked mine. I work on characters a lot, and I try to keep them canon, but at the same time make them "mine", just like you pointed out. I know there are so many cliched portrayals of Marauder Era characters these days, and Sirius cliches are the worst. I don't like the way people play the old "Sirius the womanizer" either, it's quite bothersome. Yet at the same time, he was a handsome boy with a lot of charisma, and the books do hint at the fact that girls liked him. It would be just a little unrealistic for a teenage boy who is quite popular with the girls to say "oh no, thanks, I think I'll save myself until marriage". So I tried to keep it realistic, but at the same time not write it as if girls and sex were the center of the universe. It makes me very very happy to hear that my readers like my vision of Sirius, since it's his portrayal that I'm most interested in getting right. In my story, most of the allusions are exaggerated of course, because rumors are always like that. And Sirius either takes advantage of it or denies it, according to what fits him best. I like to write him that way, because Lily never knows whether it's true or it isn't. I'm having a lot of fun writing this pair because of that. Anyways, it seems I've rambled even more, so I'll stop now. Thank you so so so so so so much for reviewing! Your review was awesome, and it's made me happy as a puppy with two tails. :D Okay, I have no idea where that came from. Huggles, and thank you once again! CJ Report Review
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