Reading Reviews From Member: Eridanus
  
162 Reviews Found

Review #1, by EridanusCharming Minnie: Charming Minnie

27th December 2010:
MERRY CHRISTMAS, ALLY! You'll never guess who your Secret Santa is... Okay, I'll just tell you! IT'S ME ♥

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Loved this! I think it was Sirius' inner dialogue with himself that really made me laugh. It's very witty and keep everything flowing together well. I am also desperately in love with the psycho prefects and their childish banter with Sirius - it was a truly beautiful moment in fan fiction history.

I also adore Remus. I always adore Remus. He's a truly fabulous man. And this has randomly occurred to me, but very nice name choice with Barry; I don't think many Americans are called Barry, are they? But it's a wonderfully hideous name (and very in-keeping) for this beastly boy.

Also, you had me worrying that dear old Minerva was going soft, but of course she was just being far more brilliant than I imagined :P. I also fell in love with James even though he was only present for all of three seconds. Rather typical of me really, but I think you really had a good handle on his character, so he shone through in that small moment.

Anyway, FABULOUS work. Very funny and entirely lovable!

Author's Response: YOU WERE MY SECRET SANTA :)

I'm so happy you liked this!! I honestly thought it was horrible when I submitted it for the Writathon, but somehow I got through to the next round with it, so I'm happy :) The Marauders are terribly difficult to get right...

Remus is a fabulous man, isn't he? I do love him. Very muchly. I thought he was cute in this. But then, he's always rather cute, isn't he? Yes. Yes he is.

Hehe, Barry. No, not very many Americans are called Barry. I don't know any. I thought it was very British, and it sounded like a tosser-ish name, so I am most glad you liked it :)

I appreciate your love for this...deep down, I really loved it too :D Thank you for the lovely review. You are the bestest secret santa ever, I think...yes, really :)


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Review #2, by EridanusChase: Chapter One

27th December 2010:
First of all, let me say that I'm so excited to be finally getting round to reading this! I've been disgustingly busy with school (I seem to be turning into you :P), so I hadn't been able to get round to it! However, I'm BEYOND flattered that this is dedicated to me and I'm absolutely ecstatic that it got posted!

I've got to say that I think third person really, really suits you! The dialogue's also got a fantastic flow to it - great relationships set up between the characters already! I ADORED the description 'with the agility of a kneazle too'; it was such a nice touch and it actually made me laugh a little XD. In fact, all the descriptions are fantastically vivid. You're swinging through slow bits to action with no trouble at all and, basically, I'm jealous!

Is this the house of Susan Bones and Ernie MacMillan by any chance? Or are they completely unrelated? Knowing me I'm probably getting the wrong end of the stick. Yes, I have :P. They're muggles, so it's obviously not them XD. Top marks to me...

Hahahahaha, anyway, I got totally wrapped up in the chapter, which is a fantastic thing, in case you were wondering. It was witty and funny and very well paced. And there's Hannah/Neville on the way! All in all, BRILLIANT start! It was mysterious without being incomprehensible and a really interesting read.

Author's Response: Lovely :) You were my secret santa!!! Ah. How wonderful. Anyhow. I loved loved loved this review!!!

OF COURSE it's dedicated to you! I probably wouldn't have written it if you hadn't encouraged me!

I am so glad you liked 3rd person, too! I feel like my writing is very unpleasant unless it's in 1st person, so this story has been a stretch. It means the world to hear it suits me :)

Hehe, nope not Susan and Ernie. I somehow always pick names that have significance totally by accident. It's rather troubling.

I am so so so glad you liked the first chapter, lovely! It means so much to hear that!!! I hope your life calms down a bit, too, because I miss you :( Thank you for the lovely review, dear!!!


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Review #3, by EridanusThree Reasons Why: Just Another Laurie

17th August 2010:
Emmm, so, Zinny? Why must you devastate me so? :P

I loved the style of this. There was something very you about it, but it was almost like you had pared it all down at the same time. It was a little less elaborate, but still had something more magical than the normal style of everyone else.

Plus, Charlie is a babe and you made me want to cry for him. I secretly hoped that Tonks didn't want Charlie at the wedding because she still loved him, but then canon invaded. Which you did a really good job of sticking to by the way. It really did make me detest Tonks a bit though... Charlie needs love.

Their relationship was very naturally portrayed though. I have no idea why, but I especially liked it when Tonks fell off the sofa :P. It just seemed like something I would do.

All in all, lovely piece ♥. And even though the writathon is DEATH it's still loads of fun XD.

Author's Response: Jane, love! This was pretty much all-around devastating for me to write, as I'm essentially defying my OTP with this :P

Did you really? I'm so glad! I'm quite comfortable using description in a dreamy sort of sense, but of course that didn't fit this at all, and so I had to strip away all those lyrical adjectives and sort of tell it like is to get to Charlie's emotions. Totally thrilled you found a little bit of me in the narration though; huge compliment!

I WANT TO CRY FOR CHARLIE ALL THE TIME. I swear, when I saw JKR's Next Gen family tree and saw he never ended up with anyone, it was so bittersweet because I totally called it that he loved Tonks and wouldn't want to be with anyone but her XD

There's a part of me that dislikes Tonks the tiniest bit because I was never fully into Tonks/Remus and clearly she turned down Charlie at somepoint so :P

Haha, thank you lovely! It's happened to me before, so I thought why not stick that in there?

WOE @ WRITATHON. But yes, you're right, I secretly love it XD

Thanks for the terrific review, lovely!


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Review #4, by EridanusBeauxbatons: Beauxbatons

16th August 2010:
This was a really interesting piece, Sarah! You set up a completely creepy atmosphere from the beginning - definitely gave me the creeps xD. But my FAVOURITE bit definitely had to be the ending. Pierre Beaux and Beauxbatons! It was such a novel thing to do. I mean, I'm sure people have taken this view on it before, but I really just loved the way you handled it.

Great job, Sarah!

Author's Response: Jane! Thank you so much :D I am glad it creeped you out ;D And I am even more glad that you enjoyed that bit! Brilliant review

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Review #5, by EridanusRun Away With Me: Run Away With Me

16th August 2010:
This was a very nice piece! It had quite a simplistic feel to it, but it was absolutely lovely to read. The way you described situations was vivid without being overbearing and this was generally just very enjoyable.

However, the simplicity was what really resonated most with me. It seemed to have the ulterior motive of describing their personalities as well as the situation Ted/Vic found themselves in. In my opinion, it encapsulated their youth and naivety without having to implicitly state it. This aspect of the story really tied it all together for me and made it a properly squee-able bit of fluff xD.

Author's Response: What a gorgeous review! I cannot believe it was written for me, hehe.

Thank you a million times over for this lovely review. I'm glad that the simplistic nature of it struck home to you, since it was my intention to create that sort of feeling.

It makes me really proud of myself that I could convey such feelings with my work. Thank you for taking the time to review this.


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Review #6, by EridanusStill Delicate: Arrogance

14th August 2010:
Heather &hearts

Cliffhanger? You can say that again. I loved this chapter though! Mainly because I hate Daisy and I sort of adore the idea of her getting in trouble... However, I really liked how you brought out Aidan's character here. You've got the childlike innocence of him completely pinned down (and the way Rose was trying to get info out of him was made of win :P).

ALSO, THE WHOLE JAMES SAGA?! There's got to be more behind that! He can't just go off the rails and come back on peak form, no questions asked. I'm sensing that there's more to unearth.

I shan't ask for an update though because you always post one just when I need it most xD.

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Review #7, by EridanusBroken Heart Syndrome : The Aftermath of the Storm

5th June 2010:
Yep, still liking Rose :P.

Anyway, MAJOR curve ball there. Callous cousin Dominique. Just another terrible person to be added to the mixture. You'd have to be plain cruel to have an affair with your cousin's husband, and she's PREGNANT. God, that's a tricky situation XD.

I've got to admit that I had reservations about Healer Blackwood being too brash for me, but she's so lovely ♥. Very endearing! I can't wait to see more of her ^_^. And Lorrrcaaannn why are you so rude and creeper-y? I am VERY intrigued.

I also like how you're tackling this - it's such an interesting theory in general. I remember my school's critical thinking society did a presentation on whether or not it was possible. I mean, I didn't go, but THIS IS BETTER THAN GOING TO THE PRESENTATION :P.

xx

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Review #8, by EridanusBroken Heart Syndrome : Where Two Become One

5th June 2010:
Georgia ♥

You're given me a LOT to think about with this fic! It's so original and I loved the premise, but I think it sort of added another dimension that I didn't like the characters XD. I'm not sure that you intended for it to be like that, but I certainly don't like Teddy and I'm not Molly's biggest fan either. What I really, really adored was how you managed to capture the normalcy of married life. It was routine and almost foreshadowed the slump they had fallen into.

I love Rose already even though we haven't properly met her :P. Evil!Teddy is always fabulous to read, because he often gets off the hook as a lovely, wonderful man, but I think yours was even better. He was edgy, but very unforgiving. There wasn't anything you could say was good about him. He was calculating and ever so heartless. Molly... She was very soppy and clingy, which doesn't endear her to me, but WOW at her as a character. Her life has been shattered and she's not going to deal with it well. She's incapable. My head's just in a mess after reading all that :P.

Anyway, brilliant premise and I'll definitely be reading on ♥

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Review #9, by EridanusA Certain Lady: The End of Innocence

16th May 2010:
First things first. Your knew banner is STUNNING. I liked the first one, but I am absolutely in love with this one. Not quite as much as I love Matt Smith, but being in The Harem you will understand that even coming close is monumental.

This story and everyone in it has captured my heart and, to be honest, I really don't want it back. The twists and turns are just absolutely divine and your writing! -dies- So in-keeping with the time period and a treat to read.

Characterisation is absolutely flawless. Luc has really, really grown on me and my heart broke for him in this chapter. You know what? It's a little bit Doctor/Amy in the sense that we didn't know that he loved her until now and she doesn't want him... -sobs hysterically-. Marie Cécile is extremely interesting; thoughtful and calculating, loving and heartless. She's an oxymoron of a character and she keeps everything interesting. And of COURSE I love Elise. She and Captain Rigfort are made for each other - but what about Luc? I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN HERE, RITA XD.

I just do not know how to express my love for this, but I cannot wait for more ♥

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Review #10, by EridanusYou're Nothing Without Me: A Holiday Guide for The Modern Young Widow: Numb

15th May 2010:
Rita ♥

I'm just catching up on this now after reading the first chapter a while ago, and I've got to say that I absolutely adore it. The way you portray both Rose and Scorpius is so interesting and every single emotion in the story is palpable. It's such a joy to read and I can actually imagine this as OF. It's amazing. It's something you can really invest your heart in without it being a gushy romance. It's grown up and enthralling.

Author's Response: Aw thanks so much for reviewing Jane! Glad you like it so far! I worked really hard on the Rose and Scorpius characterizations in specific because it is extra hard to separate them from the hundreds that have already been established. It makes me happy to hear that you relate with them XD I hope to make some alterations to it and maybe translate it to OF.maybe XD Always happy to hear from you and as always, you are amazing!

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Review #11, by EridanusShe Walks in Beauty: She Walks in Beauty

12th May 2010:
Hello! Just thought I'd have a little nosy round my fellow Slytherins for this review fest, and I was very pleasantly surprised by what I found here! Your banner drew me in and the story captured my attention completely.

This flowed beautifully, very lyrical and dream-like, and I also felt that it suited your time period well. The language was obviously a little archaic when compared to modern colloquialisms etc, but not in a way that was remotely negative. I was almost convinced that I was reading Austen XD. Brilliant.

I thought this romance with a muggle was a very interesting aspect to explore, especially in this era, and you did it very well in such a short piece. You managed to tell a story in such a short (but well chosen) set of words.

I really enjoyed this!

Author's Response: *headdesk* Bah, I keep forgetting about the Review Fest. I'm such a horrible Slytherin. Must...review...

I love the banner! It's so beautiful. I was poking around the UFG section and saw this banner and an idea for a story popped into my head.

Wow! That's...really high praise. I'm...speechless, which is a bit odd since I'm a talker. Wow! Thank you so, so much! *blushes*

Since it was never revealed who Helena's father was, I decided to take some liberties and make him a muggle. There's so much to explore with this subject, but it would be far too much for a one-shot.

Thank you so much for reviewing (and reminding me about the review fest)!!! Your review made my day! :)


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Review #12, by EridanusWhere the Legends Play: Due For a Miracle of a Star

10th May 2010:
First of all, let me get all the formalities out of the way by saying that this banner is made out of LOVE. Absolutely gorgeous and I am unendingly jealous of both it and whoever is going out with James Franco :P. Also, I DREAD TO THINK WHAT I WILL HAVE INSPIRED AND HOW THIS GIRL WILL TURN OUT. However, any Oliver is a wonderful Oliver, so I'm happy.

Okay, onto this fabulous new story of yours. I think you did a really great job characterising Oliver and depicting his relationship with Katie. It must be crazy trying to manage a team full of women (and hormones), but he seems to do fabulously. And he's hot. I also thought that Juniper was a really interesting character with a lot of potential and I can't wait to see what you do with her!

This was brill ♥

Author's Response: It IS isn't it?! Ahahahaha just you wait Jane. OH WAIT. Is that a coincidence? :P I think not. Don't worry! Jane Kearney won't bring shame to your name. Thank you for your fantabulous review Jane! I can't wait to write chapter two of this in which we meet y-Jane. XD You are too nice.

-Sarah


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Review #13, by EridanusWhen They Were Here: Words Left Unspoken

3rd May 2010:
Wow. Wow, wow, wow.

I realise that I sound like a demented fire engine or something, but this was so unbelievably good, Liz! I can't quite express how much I loved it by myself, so I'm going to launch into your critique focuses, even if I feel that critique will be very much lacking.

Plot: I don't think it was so much a plot as a wonderful premise. Technically, not a lot of action happened, but it was full of raw emotion and it was such an interesting and original idea. I loved how all the characters seemed to gravitate around this solid, unmovable tree - almost like it was an anchor for all of them. Something to keep them grounded, and something tangible to hold on to when things were going badly. It was just such a beautiful idea.

Emotions: To me, they were just so raw and so pure that I couldn't help but be moved by them. This line 'I don't know how things will end, but I recklessly dare to believe we will last and never part. Because we're stronger than that, stronger than the cracked branches of this withered tree, stronger than the snow that so easily melts under the sun rays.' nearly brought me to tears. It was just so emotionally driven and it was extremely powerful to read. I also think, particularly in that line the bittersweet element got to me. Sirius is so strong, but he's still so young and we as the reader know that things aren't going to work out for him the way he hopes. It's heart wrenching. You did such a fabulous job with all of the individual character voices as well. They were all different, but they were all poetic and in-keeping with the story, and nothing disrupted the flow of things.

Narrative voice: TO. DIE. FOR. I think this was really the element which made the story. It was a stunning use of narrative, but I'm not even quite sure what it was. It's almost as though the story is a series of letter, or that was my interpretation of it. Sirius, James, Remus and Ginny all writing letters to their other halves (and I know Sirius/James wasn't happening, but I believe that James was as close to an other half as Sirius was going to get). They don't seem like letters that ever got sent though. They're either internal, or like the other letters James previously tried to send to Lily and crumpled up. I like to think that this was another one of these letters. That might not have been what you were going for, but that was how the style of it came across to me. I think that would explain all the emotion in it. All the things they tried to say, but couldn't.

I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS.


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Review #14, by EridanusComptine d'été: Comptine d'été

3rd May 2010:
The first thing I've got to say is, WHAT BEAUTIFUL USE OF RHYME. It made the title all the more meaningful, but it didn't seem like you were just rhyming for the sake of it either. It was subtle and all the words seemed as though they were supposed to be there.

Your descriptions were to die for. To. Die. For. I am completely and utterly jealous of them, and I would hate you if they weren't so amazing that I couldn't do without them. STUNNING.

Liked the almost bittersweet sense to the relationship. They could be more, but they're not because they're NOT TOGETHER. As I so shrewdly picked up on :P.

It was just beautiful ♥

Author's Response: no, YOU are stunning :) thank you so much for reviewing for me, dearie ♥

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Review #15, by EridanusAt the Wedding: Someone old, someone new

1st May 2010:
Twinsa Jo, explain one thing to me, how can you write like me and be better than me? XD It's quite mean really.

Apart from that, I LOVED IT. I mean, you mentioned beards and shoes, and even if it wasn't THE beard/shoe I was totally in love with it. Also, very nice handling of Cho, because you basically made me not hate her :P. She was really really funny to read and you did a beautiful job with both first person and ginger bashing. Viktor would be proud.

AND AMAZING VIKTOR ACCENT. It's far better than my lazy attempt! Basically, this was love, you are love and it's pretty hard not to recognise that I'm in there somewhere buried beneath layers of genius.



Author's Response: YOU LIE. Your nose will obscure the moon soon. THE ONLY FUNNY BITS ARE THE ONES I STOLE. You at least tried to write like me. I nicked lines and characters!

Realised at the end you don't have a 1st person story.. so amped up the ginger bash! Good to know you liked Cho, I couldn't couldn't bring myself to resurrect THE beard, so Viktor was a charming substitute.

Again, I stole it. ALL YOURS. Jane=genius

Anyhoo very glad you didn't disown me after this my dearest (only) twinsa! Thankyou muchly for the pretty review ♥


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Review #16, by EridanusSpaces: Only This

1st May 2010:
Hello, Shiloh! Here to review!

First off, I've got to say that you're absolutely amazing for pulling off what I thought to be impossible. Seriously, Dudley/Pansy? That's one mental ship in theory, but you did such a fantastic job of making it believable rather than bizarre or even repulsive :P.

I've also got to say that your prose throughout this fic was stunning. It was truly beautiful and even lyrical at some points. I really enjoyed the 'he does this' and 'she says that' aspect of it. For some reason, when a story leaves out names of characters for the most part, it automatically seems to become more poetic.

Flow was generally good, but when it came to the 'We're very different, you and I' and the parts where it says 'It's only', I felt like the jump from the description of the event to the dialogue was a little too abrupt. Due to the fact that the next event was unrelated to the first I had to do a double take the first time and I felt like it disrupted the lovely smooth flow after that. I'm not sure what I would suggest, as I do like the premise of it, but maybe you could add a little bit more exposition of the events?

As for characterisation, it was divine! I think one of the main feats you achieved was actually making the piece believable and that was mainly due to the wonderful characterisation. I could still see their earlier selves, but they've definitely grown up, and this was made all the more realistic because it tied in with Dudley's behaviour in Deathly Hallows. Brilliant.

Jane

Author's Response: Thank you Jane :) I appreciate your taking the time to review for me. -squishes-

You're not the first person to mention that the 'We're very different', 'It's only' part was a bit choppy, so I'm doing some definite re-working there. Thanks for the advice! I'll add some more exposition and see if that helps :)
Thanks for the review dearest!

xoxo
Shiloh


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Review #17, by EridanusSympathy for the Devil: Prologue: A Murder

29th April 2010:
Lulu! I've been waiting for this to appear since I saw the topic you made for it, and I've got to say that it's living up to expectations so far!

I really like the style in which you wrote this. It was the sort which seemed to indicate that everything wasn't going to go quite right from the outset. The normalcy of it all gave me chills, which is probably bizarre, but you managed to instil the sense of foreboding into what you were writing.

I thought the pacing was nice throughout and the fact that it wasn't all stabbing and screaming and blood made it even more chilling. The silence of it did the job better than any melodrama would have done.

Lovely work ♥ I can't wait to see more!
Jane

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Review #18, by EridanusAmbrosia: shadow rapture

20th April 2010:
Hello, Gubby! It's me here after, you know, an extremely long and unforgivable wait XD.

I'll pretty much just cover general plot all the way up to this point, as I read through it all last night and caught up. I'm really intrigued by what you've set up here, and I want to find out more about the relationship between Alec and Andromeda. I may be totally misguided here, but the way you're writing this definitely seems to imply that there's something more to it, and I'm all for a bit of mystery. The relationship you've set up between Narcissa and Ted is also enthralling. I have so many question bubbling up as I read; where did they meet? how? how does this man end up with Andromeda? You've done a fantastic job of hooking the reader in, and personally, I can't wait to see where things are going.

Characterisation of the sisters is fabulous. They're all very diverse, but the slytherin/Black family element is still present. You present the sisterly dynamics very well and I find your interpretation of Bellatrix to be captivating. I just can't seem to tear my eyes away from the way you write her. I also like the manner in which you go about portraying Narcissa; her youth and naivete is evident.

Style of the story is love, love, love. Very gubby, really :P. And I like the short segments it's split up into. To be honest, flow wasn't really disrupted for me as a read a good chunk straight through, but I think I may actually prefer the small sections anyway. You can read a lot in one go without it being daunting, and it really enables you to have the time to consider what you've just read. It's effecting - and would have been a gigantic one-shot :P.

Fabulous work ♥

Author's Response: Oh, dear. Here goes nothing:

There's definitely something more to the relationship between Alec and Andromeda. What it is, you'll find out shortly - but yes, there's something there. The other questions you have, especially about Ted, are more open-ended because I don't know myself. I have vague ideas, sure, but we all know how well I hold on to old ideas.

The sisters are my favorites, obviously, and it's important to me that they be recognisable as sisters and not just girls who know each other. Bellatrix is easily the hardest to capture, but Narcissa isn't less complex. Naive is exactly the right word. She doesn't know what she's doing... yet. :P

Considering the length the story is getting to, I'd be insane to leave it a one-shot. Then again, I am kind of insane, but anyway, I'm glad it worked for you. The problem, of course, that (now) thirteen chapters still looks like thirteen chapters, which is a heck of a lot more than a lot of people (myself included) like to see... but anyway, yay. Thank you so much love. *hugs*


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Review #19, by EridanusBodies at Rest: A Midnight Call

19th April 2010:
Jane from TGS here! Sorry for the horrifically long wait, but I sometimes forget how demanding school can be XD.

Anyway, to address your query about whether this begins in too much media res, I would have to say no. You do ease the reader in a little at the start, but all the action going on really hooks you in, and it all flows very well so there are absolutely no problems. The flow was also very fluid and I enjoyed that very much, especially when combined with the fast paced action in this chapter.

However, one little thing I did notice was that you have a tendency to repeat words which, if not necessarily disruptive to the flow, can leave the reader wishing things were more varied. For example, 'He paused halfway to his pocket with it before he jammed it in his pocket', I think that you would have been better off just writing 'jammed it in'. There are a few other spots where you use the same word quite a few times in quick succession, so it might be nice to use some different vocab there.

Characterisation was very good in my opinion - one of the other strong points of the piece. You created interest in this boy and managed to portray this older, more grown up Harry well. He's more mature, but obviously still displays the passion of his youth and also that stubborn streak, but combined with a lot of integrity and moral fibre. George was extremely intriguing to read about and I felt that his response was emotional, as well as accurate for a boy of his age.

As for your dialogue, I thought George's was wonderful, and for the most part it was of a very high standard. Although, I couldn't help but feel that it was a little stiff sometimes. I understood that when Harry was talking to George he was going to be a little more formal, or going to take more care with his words, but I felt like there would have been more differentiation between how he conversed with George and how he conversed with Connor. Also, maybe you could develop some sort of trait that goes with the Scottish dialect for Connor. It may be hard, but some research might help, as I fear we may forget he's Scottish otherwise :P. That's merely my opinion though, and really not necessary.

I think this is a fascinating story premise and you've pulled off this chapter wonderfully! Great work!

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review. Repetition and redundancy (lol) is something I struggle with, so thanks for bringing it to my attention that I did it again here. I miss it even when I'm editing sometimes; I just have a blind spot for it I guess. That's why I need a beta, generally.

I'm so glad you liked George's dialogue. He's meant to be a little stiff, but I might need to loosen his dialogue up some--a very valid point.

Also glad you enjoyed the characterisation. I know George's character pretty well and thought I did a good job writing him, nice to have validation. Also happy you liked my characterisation of Harry. I like writing Harry as I understand his motivations pretty well and it helps make him feel real to me and I hope to others.

I have written Broad Scots dialect in another story, but I always feel that I'm going to far and delving into 'Shrek' territory. I have a lot of respect for the Scots, so I don't want to do a caricature of the accent. But I agree that the occasional Caledonian phrase might be helpful. Honestly, the unsaid fact that he's Slytherin is more important than his Scottish-ness.

Thank you again for the review and the CC. CC is what helps us to grow as writers and it's a good thing to find. I especially like it coming from an author as skilled as you.



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Review #20, by EridanusThe Silence of the Night: we all break sometime.

17th April 2010:
I just don't even know what to say. This... This was so beautiful and poignant, and yet absolutely earth shattering at the same time. I've heard about people crying at this, Zoey, and frankly I'm not surprised. The depression section gave me goosebumps. It's absolutely roasting for here at this time of year and I was sitting here with goosebumps.

The picture you painted for us here was so stunning descriptively, but entirely fueled by emotion as well. I especially liked that you were drawing a comparison between Victoire and Dominique and their behaviour and characterisation. I almost feel like you have the same ideas about them that I do and it just made this even more special. It was like seeing the characters in my head being brought to life in a way that I could never manage to do.

The stages were very clearly illustrated and even though they sort of acted as breaks, the whole thing retained its flow. And I literally have no idea how you did it. I loved everything about it, but I've got to say that I am IN love with 'anger' right up through until the end of 'depression'. Just the way the emotions changed in such subtle stages, it seemed natural and you've dealt with the whole issue of grief indescribably well.

Honestly, there are no words. I found some, but they're not quite enough. This is a work of art.

Jane ♥

Author's Response: Jane, I don't know what to say. I am just so thrilled you like this. I just... Thank you :)

Dominique and Victoire are two of my favorite NextGen characters. I often see them in a lot of romance fics, so writing them in a more 'sisterly' way was very interesting. When I started writing, I didn't really have an 'idea' in mind of their personalities. But after a while, they just kind of shifted and evolved by themselves.

Grief is such a touchy subject. It's so beautiful in it's delicacy, and writing it was a lot like running a race on a track made of eggshells. It is relieving to have made it to the finish line, but I don't think I'll be doing it again anytime soon :P

Thank you for the lovely review!

xx
Zoey


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Review #21, by EridanusElectric Twist: The Complication with Fluctuation

12th April 2010:
THIS. WAS. IMMENSE.

Seriously. I loved it to bits and I can't even pick out particular parts because I'm lazy, but BERT IS A BABE.

An absolute babe. He could take Teddy any time. BECAUSE HE'S A TANK.



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Review #22, by EridanusYou're Gonna Miss Me: Love, Roger

8th April 2010:
I WILL MISS YOU, ROGER ♥

I'm glad that you decided to end this particular one-shot more open ended, but still with a little bit of closure. It's actually pretty satisfying because we know that he's trying to get her back (but it also leaves room for more :P).

Basically, this was HILARO. So funny and I really feel like you did a good job of capturing the male voice. YOU ARE SO VERSATILE. I mean, I've gone from A Certain Lady to this, and they're both fabulously fantastically exquisite in their own ways!

I mean, Roger is vile but adorable and shouldn't appeal to anyone by rights, BUT HE IS FABULOUS. I can actually imagine this from him just by thinking about our canon knowledge. You gots Roger Davies on a page XD.

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVED IT


xxx

Author's Response: Hahaha! How Hen could even last Roger is beyond me! I'm sure she'll be doing the world a favor by taking this dangerous one off the market :) Anyway, he's good for her so, here's to improvement?

I'm so glad you like Roger! He is the worst boyfriend you could imagine (or at least I could imagine). But there's just something about the bad boy, isn't there? Especially if he's one of those trainable ones like Rotweillers.

And thank you so much for the compliment! Seriously, I am not versatile. I'm just indecisive and easily swayed LOL! But thank you for wording it so positively!

Thank you so much for the review! *I hugs you*


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Review #23, by EridanusA Certain Lady: Curiouser and Curiouser

6th April 2010:
Oh Rita, Rita, Rita ♥ What can I say? You've got me hooked.

I love period stories and this is just a work of art. No wonder you wanted to write one for so long when all of this was brewing inside of you XD. I think that it has now dawned on my very slow mind that all of them are in fact magic? I mean, Marie Cecile and co. certainly are, but I think that it's one big magical society in Paris. The super elite :P.

Also, I know that we haven't seen a lot of him, but Captain Rigfort is a babe and I love him and we're going to get married. And now I'm going to attempt to be a nice, normal, non-creepy reviewer.

The opening scene with Luc and Marie Cecile gave us a really good glimpse at their personalities, and I was very interested in Madeliene being brought up again. Speaking of which, I know that this story is based around Elise, but it was very smart of you to have the opening chapter more from Madeliene's perspective. It built up the mystery surrounding them, showed how they were perceived by others and really set up the story and the tone of it for the readers.

Guy de Rozette. I do not like him already, but I'm sure that he'll be more than charming and attractive and do his utmost to woo Elise. However, I hope he is a hideously vile monstrosity and skips off soon :P. He is only getting in the way of being overwhelmed, which I do not approve of. Although, I do believe that ultimately any decision will be Marie Cecile's, so it will be interesting to see how the dynamics progress between herself and Elise.

Lovely chapter ♥
Jane

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Review #24, by EridanusA Certain Lady: Mademoiselle's Introduction

4th April 2010:
Rita, you are an absolute, undeniable Goddess ♥

I'm so pleased that you requested for me to review, because after all the praise and such you've had for this I really wanted to read it. Unfortunately, I found the word count a little tiny bit too intimidating for my own peace of mine, so your request was the thing I needed to kickstart me.

The plot is divine, delicious and delectable XD. I can't wait to see how Jane Eyre and Persuasion work their way in. I also think that the way you worked magic in was very clever. I was loving the story, but wondering how it would be tied to the HP world when Luc's Veela genes made an appearance - lovely touch. I'm so intrigued to see how everything develops and what sort of role magic will play further along.

I feel like you set the story up very well in this opening chapter. The tone of the story was mysterious and captivating, but also very humorous at the same time. It's such a fascinating set up; your language seemed to be spot on to my untrained eyes, the gossip mongering and all of the other little details were incredibly engrossing.

Characterisation was. To. Die. For. Elise and Marie Cecile are fascinating, and so is their mentor relationship, Luc's arrogance is beautiful in its own way, Madeliene was a darling and Madame Poisson had something about her a bit like an aunt of Fanny's from Mansfield Park might have :P.

All in all, I am in love and if you don't rerequest then I might cry?

Jane ♥

Author's Response: JANE! You are the Goddess! Admit it! You are!

Thank you so much for reviewing this undeniably, freakishly long fic! You no doubt labored to keep awake throughout the whole thing, and for that I thank you!

I am glad you liked it :) Writing something period, I was very worried that the whole thing might bore people since it's a bunch of elitists being elitist, parties and romance. Full on romance like this comes very hard to me now a days, and to hear that you liked it makes me all giddy inside! Thank you!

As for the characters, I am also glad you liked them! I have so many undecided plans (oxymoron alert!) for them and I can't wait to get it on paper!

Thank you! Thank you so much for this review! See you in the next one!


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Review #25, by EridanusWe Both Go Down Together: all the way down

4th April 2010:
Hello! It's Eridanus from TGS here with your review ♥.

Alright, so I should probably say that I'm pretty appalling with grammar myself, so I probably won't be a huge amount of help. I mean, I did notice that quite a few sentences seemed to run-on and things, and some seemed to end before addressing their original purpose, but I'll tackle that aspect of it a little later.

I'd just like to make it clear to you that I LOVED this. I'm aware that I may seem a little hard on you at some points (^ as an example), but it's only because I think that this story is so unique and fabulous that it deserves a little bit of attention. I really and truly enjoyed it and, even though it was a smidgen over my 4000 word limit, I'm so glad that you requested a review for it, because I probably wouldn't have had the opportunity to otherwise!

I've got to agree with you on the awkward sentences. Some of them just weren't quite right due to a couple of factors, but these instances seemed to dissipate towards the end. Now, I'm not sure if that's because I was so absorbed in the story, or because I was getting into the rhythm of it, or genuinely because there was less awkward-ness. Either way, it's a real talent to be able to suck the reader in in the way that you have managed to during this story. However, back to syntax, I would suggest a beta to really help you with this, but you'd have to be careful that it was still your writing and they didn't remove the essence of you from the story. It's refreshing and actually quite lovely stylistically, despite it being unusual, the only real problem is the ambiguity which sometimes arises from it. For example, sometimes I had to look back to check who was looking where and at whom etc. You've also made a couple of typos where you leave out a word or don't quite finish it. If you want a little more detail on this section, please, feel free to PM me and I can be more specific without worrying about a character limit :P.

I haven't got a whole lot to say about characterisation, other than that I thought it was basically perfect. True, it wasn't quite the Dumbledore we knew from his later years, but he was so real and it was entirely convincing that you were writing about him as a younger man. We saw that he had a weakness where Grindelwald was concerned and you only illustrated that further - fantastic! Grindelwald was also amazing, in my opinion. We weren't quite clear on his motives for this, but there's no doubt that they were for his own gain, as you made his obsession with their old plans evident. Just flawless.

I thought it was very well paced, and generally the flow was fantastic, but I thought their exit from The Three Broomsticks was the only bit which could be brushed up upon. It wasn't that it was badly done, but the rapidity of it didn't quite fit in with the pacing of the rest of the story. That was the only point I picked up on when the pacing/flow wasn't quite intact. The rest of it was extremely smooth.

The ending was lovely, very philosophical and Dumbledore-esque with a little bit of foreshadowing thrown in. Brilliant. I thought this piece was tremendous, and with a few little edits here and there it could practically have come out of the series.

Jane ♥

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