Reading Reviews From Member: Jianne
37 Reviews Found

Review #1, by JianneThe Good in All of Us: I

14th October 2012:
This is actually really good. I'm going to hazard a guess and say that this isn't the first thing you've ever written =P
I really like where this is going, and I hope you keep writing it! :)

Author's Response: Thanks Jianne! This is my first HPFF even though I've been reading the site for years, which makes you my first ever review! The next chapter will be up soon. I hope you keep reading!

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Review #2, by JianneJealousy: Chapter 1

14th October 2012:
Hey! Well done on posting your first fic here. It's got potential to be really interesting :)
Just as a friendly word of advice, it's a lot easier to read stories if there's not an excess of blank space. I know the editor adds more every time you preview, and I know it's really annoying, but it really does make it so much easier to read if you only have one space between paragraphs. Speech doesn't need to be in italics either, just quotation marks :)
Either way, you've set the scene to what looks to be an interesting story, so I hope you keep writing!

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Review #3, by JiannePause: 2. External

13th October 2012:
It's me again, haha! I'm sticking around, I really do like where this story is going :) We seem to be pretty much in the same boat- I've only recently taken writing up again after a year or two off, and this is your first story on this archive, so we should totally stick together. I'd love some honest feedback on my chapters, and I'd be happy to give you some as well.
Out of curiosity, can I ask what your writing process is? Like, do you type it straight into a word processor and then post it from there, or what?
Oh, and you don't really need to worry about chapter lengths- I was worrying about my own a little while ago, but then when I went out and read other people's work I found that it didn't really faze me. As long as it's long enough to say what you need to say, I guess!
Jianne :)

Author's Response: Thank you for sticking with me! I just dump my tangents into works word processor. It gets jumbled a tad when I paste it here on HPFF.
I'm liking where your story is headed. Yes, I'd love to tag along with you and become a loyal reader. You have the same feelings I do about the characters. Thank you so much for your advice!
xoxo Mirranda

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Review #4, by JianneDestiny or Voldemort?: Chapter 1

5th October 2012:
Er... I'm not sure how nice you want us to be, but let me be the first to say congratulations on starting a story! Practice makes perfect after all.

It was an interesting beginning, and if you keep writing I'll stick around to see where you're going with this.

I'm curious, do you type these directly and then post them without editing, or do you write them in a book or something and then edit them as you type them up?
I personally write all my stories by hand originally and then edit them as I type them up- I find editing is good for fleshing out ideas, so things don't happen in huge clumps of information and you get to see character reactions that help to build the story. I'm not saying that's the only way to do it, but it works well for me :)

Good luck and keep writing!

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Review #5, by JiannePause: 1. Internal

5th October 2012:
Oooh, I'm very intrigued. A few of the hyphens at the beginning seemed like they were in strange places, (like "A long shower- in solitude was healthy.") but it wasn't a big deal. Apart from that, I'm quite enjoying it :)

Well done on a gripping beginning!

Author's Response: I want to thank you profusely, Jianne!

Upon reading it over for editing, you are correct. I hadn't noticed my growing affinity to the hyphens and dashes =). This is the first time I've ever tried anything like this and I'm nervous. My style is still undeveloped, I feel.

The use of those was to cause a 'pause' for effect, meaning to make the second half of the sentence more punctuated. Any suggestions? Or can I simply remove those and my message still come across?

I was worried the first chapter was too short and boring. Thank you again! I've 2 more currently waiting to be validated. If you don't mind, I would love for you to continue to offer suggestions that will make it easier to understand and read =)

With MUCH appreciation and thanks for your help,

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Review #6, by JianneNew Beginnings: Staff Additions

20th September 2012:
This is a good start :) I'm interested to see where you're going with the story from here!
The only things that were a little off-putting was the massive spacing (I know the editor adds spaces every time you preview, but it really does read so much better when you have single or double spacing), and that you accidentally wrote 'purpose' instead of 'propose' when Hermione's thinking about Ron. I had to think a little to work out what you meant, so you might want to fix that some time.
Oh, and I liked that you had Harry be the first one to reconcile with Draco- not many people do that, and it was a welcome change.
Keep writing! :)

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Review #7, by JianneA Purple Gem: Jem and Teddykins

8th December 2010:
This made me laugh :) It was a nice little story that could even sit on its own as a one-shot, but I'm interested to see where you're planning on going with this.
Even though what was going on was a bit vauge, the banter, especially with Albert, was incredibly amusing, and the end! Brilliant. I liked it muchly. :)

Author's Response: Oh, I'm an idiot! *slaps head* This is supposed to be a one-shot, I just forgot to move it to 'Completed' *goes and does it* Thank you so much for the kind words, I'm very happy that you liked this! :D

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Review #8, by JianneBroomhilde and the Founders: A Gratuitous Masked Yule Ball

1st June 2009:
Woo, this is brilliant. I was laughing so hard.
I love how you write.
Great work!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! :)

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Review #9, by JianneHPFF United Collaboration: Pride In The Snake

31st May 2009:
This was really interesting. It's written well, and it flows well too. It really shows how people behave under pressure, what their values become. Good job!

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Review #10, by JianneHPFF United Collaboration: Operation Won-Won

31st May 2009:
Wow! I loved this. I especially like the style this has been written in, it flows really well. RonsGirlFriday, you are a genius. Good work!

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Review #11, by JianneLies: Prologue/Muggles, Squibs and Hogwarts

29th May 2009:
It's an interesting start. Probably my first suggestion would be to go through and proof-read this, as some of your sentences are all tangled up, and you have the occasional spelling mistake. Make sure you have a new line for each new person speaking.
Behind this, however, you've already got an interesting storyline. I'll be interested to see what you come up with next.

Author's Response: Well, yeah, I Started doing 'You' instead of 'I' like :
'you starred at the owl in amazement.' I had to change to ' I starred at the owl in amazement.' because I noticed I did You instead of I half way through it.

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Review #12, by JianneLove Game: Spotlight.

23rd May 2009:
This is really interesting! I like how you also have a good motive for Draco to be involved rather than him just agreeing to do it. You kept everyone in character rather well. I like your style of writing as well, because it flows easily, which is important. Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Yay, draco have a good motive! lol. I thought astoria would be a good reason enough. I'm glad you like my style but i'm not to sure it flows well sometimes it feels choppy at some points.

but, like they say, author's worst critic are themselves. so don't mind me. :)

I'm glad you find it interesting and thank you for reviewing!

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Review #13, by JianneHey Boys and Girls!!!!: Head Girl

23rd May 2009:
It's quite good! I like the storyline, but your writing style is a bit abrupt. It doesn't flow very well. However, your characters are interesting, and you're starting to develop them well, which is good. I like it.

Author's Response: Thanks! It's good to know that someone has a comment to make it better! I'll try to make it flow more!! Thanks

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Review #14, by JianneStalkers Anonymous: Welcome to the Sisterhood

26th October 2008:
Cool! This is really good. Not many people could pull off this idea, but you've done it with style! Grats.

Author's Response: Really? Wow, thank you so much! With style eh? ^_^ You made me blush. Thank you for the review!


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Review #15, by JianneBroken: Book Zero: Chapter One: Oh, Bloody Hell

10th October 2008:
Wow! This is brilliant! I really can not think of anything bad to say about this. I love it!

Author's Response: I don't know whether to be overjoyed or disappointed that you can't find anything bad about it! :D

I'm always looking for critique on my work. ^^

As always, I am very glad the general public seems to enjoy my work.


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Review #16, by JianneMiss Magick: Miss Training

10th October 2008:
Cool chapter! Heh, I just realised how you were naming each of your different chapters. It's a cool idea, I like it. Anyway, back to the story. I really liked that chapter. It seemed to flow a lot better than some of your earlier ones. Good job!

Author's Response: Hey Jianne -

Thanks so much for your reviews and advice, I know my structure isn't as sound as other authors but I am working on it :D Eventually, once this story is completed (which, at the rate I'm going) in a few years, I shall go over all chapters and edit.

Once again, thanks sooo much for your reviews - they do help.

Cheers - d_c

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Review #17, by JianneMiss Magick: Miss O'Connell

10th October 2008:
I liked the part in italics at the end, it was interesting, and made me fully pay attention again. My criticisms are the same as in your past chapters. If you want to look at them, I believe there are some very nice grammar instruction pages posted and linked on the forums.

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Review #18, by JianneMiss Magick: Miss Undercover

10th October 2008:
Hmm, the storyline is still good, but your grammar and speech has fallen off the rails. Sorry to be so blunt, but that's how I see it. You still have good ideas, though.

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Review #19, by JianneMiss Magick: Miss Surprised

10th October 2008:
I liked this chapter, too! My only problem with this chapter is that it's slightly confusing. In Draco's office, all of your information is squished together and not expanded to help carry the point. It confused me a bit. Good information and chapter basis, though!

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Review #20, by JianneMiss Magick: Miss Lamaze?

10th October 2008:
I like it! Just (and I noticed this with your previous chapter, as well) you need to work on your grammar a little bit. This will help with your flow, too. Apart from that, I liked it! Good work.

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Review #21, by JianneMiss Magick: Mistaken

10th October 2008:
Nice! I can see how you've matched it up with Miss Congeniality. I can't wait to read the next chapter!

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Review #22, by JianneOf Pots and Plants: Of Pots and Plants

9th October 2008:
This is really good! You've conveyed Neville's emotions really well; he's still Neville, but he's grown up a lot too. Great work!

Author's Response: He he. Thank you very much. I'm glad you liked it. Neville is awesome

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Review #23, by JianneWhat Will The Dursleys Say?: What Will the Dursleys Say?

9th October 2008:
Wow! This was really well written. You had practically perfect grammar, and to write a story from Dudley's point of view is no easy feat. I liked how you didn't just automatically rush into the letter part, too. You built up a setting first, which is something some people just don't do, but it made it so much better. 10/10!

Author's Response: Hi there. Thank you very much for the review, I really appreciate it. I'm glad you liked the story. I really enjoyed writing it so I'm glad pople have enjoyed writing it.

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Review #24, by Jianne101 Reasons Why I Hate James Potter: The List

8th October 2008:
Cool! It's nice to see a story where 'gay' people are accepted. You've got pretty good grammar, as well. I like the rest, too! Good job!

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Review #25, by JianneThe Veela In Me: Chapter 3

7th October 2008:
Nice! I like the idea of Hermione being a Zabini. It's not too cliche, and it really could be quite easily. If you still need a beta, I'm happy to beta for you; my name on the forums is the same as my name on here. Keep writing!

Author's Response: thanks. i love getting reviews and i already have a beta reader. thanx tho

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