Reading Reviews From Member: Java_Jones
  
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Java_JonesLiving In Shadows: As I have died...

8th October 2008:
Wow, this was pretty intense, I think you could have made it a bit longer though, it was hard to completely understand what was happening and where you were going with it when you rushed through it so.
Jessi

Author's Response: I have a tendency to do that and an aversion to editing- which means I write and write and write and then I get lazy, don't edit and it ends up making total sense to me...just no one else.
Thanks though! I'm glad to have the feedback!


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Review #2, by Java_JonesOliver's Lament: Oliver's Lament

8th October 2008:
I love this pairing but I think you could have done more with this one-shot. I can't imagine their break-up argument going on this way, I feel as if you've brushed over the event to highlight only the 'fun parts to write' but you have to understand it's the intricate subtle details that intrigue a reader, keep in story in character, and make the whole peice flow easier.
Good luck!
Jessi

Author's Response: Thank you very much for the review. I will take your suggestion into consideration. Constructive critism is always appreciated. It was just something random I had written a few years ago, I didn't plan on it really but, thanks again!!

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Review #3, by Java_Jones:

5th May 2008:
I really like it, and I agree with you about the chapter not needing anything more. You have a concise style of writing--it's refreshing and easy to read. Though I am starting to wonder where you're going with this.
Anywho, keep up the good work.
-Jessie
P.S. Just a bit of criticism, a lot of your sentences are only phrases, and while they're great for making a statement stand out--too many just annoy the reader and then all the phrases you want to make an impact on the reader won't. That was kind of hard to understand but I hope you get my gist.

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Review #4, by Java_JonesLook Out For Wednesday: part of that forgiveness package

2nd March 2008:
It's a cute story and I love how Luna isn't so loony that we can't relate to her but I think the ending was off on this chapter. If Luna was so persistant about him not 'messing with her feelings' and if she values faithfulness--as she most probably does--why would she go to Hogsmeade with him? It would only cause problems b/n him and Vic.
And even if he had told her that he was going to break up with Vic, when he asked Luna to go to Hogsmeade he hadn't broken up with her yet. Teddy seems like a very confused, unreliable person. How can she (Luna) be sure he won't go back on his word and keep dating Vic. I can't imagine Luna wanting to be his 'alternate' girlfriend when Vic was too annoying.
Maybe I'm misunderstanding the character but this is what I perceived from the story so far. Hope my advice helps.
-Jones

Author's Response: It's not Luna, it's Luna's daughter, and Teddy is very confused at this point, they all are...

Teddy is having mixed feelings, and is unsure what to do, he wants to please both girls, and make it so no one gets hurt...

Vikki is confused because she thinks Teddy is cheating and being a bad boyfriend (which he is) and she's unsure of what to do, she doesn't want to loose him...

Wednesday is confused just in general, she likes Teddy, and Teddy likes her, but she knows he has Victorie...

From my point, I get it all, because I know what happens, because I'm the writter, but I can see how you got slightly confused... It is a bit confusing, don't worry, it'll make more sense soon!!

Thank you for reviewing!


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Review #5, by Java_JonesTricky Territory: Tricky Territory

18th February 2008:
*sigh* Wish I'd read that on Valentine's Day, I could have used the laugh, lol. It was very cute and I love how Ron keeps exclaiming "She said she didn't want anything!" as if everyone is going to suddenly agree with him. It's just how I would think Ron would act in said situation. Keep writing!
-Jessi

Author's Response: Thanks, Jessi! I finished writing this on Valentine's Day, and I realized it would be up late, but I thought I'd post it anyway. I haven't written any holiday-themed fics before, so I'm happy you liked it. : )

And dear Ron... I think he had a hard time wrapping his head around that. ; )I'll definitely keep writing! Even though I've had writer's block lately *grumbles darkly and comtemplates throwing shoe at computer.*

Thank you so much for reviewing!


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