Reading Reviews From Member: Harry_Potter_Mom
42 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Harry_Potter_MomI'll Keep Your Secrets: I'll Keep Your Secrets

8th March 2008:
Wow! This is really good!

I don't normally go for a Sev story, but glad I took your advice and clicked on your icon! :D

I am definitely reading the next chapter!!!

Your descriptions were wonderful and how the words from the song break up the present from the past. Very easy transitions. (I LOVE TSO)

I really feel sorry for Snape, and now Ambre Lupin? Uh oh... did she go and marry Remus or was she originally a Lupin? Did she drink herself to death? Oo... I have to get to the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks, I'm really glad that you liked it! I'm glad that the lyrics worked out alright, I was a little iffy at first about it, since for The Great Escape, I had some issues with the lyrics and the way that they broke up the story.

Hmm... I can honestly tell you that you are the first person who has asked if she drunk herself to death...

Interesting theory, though, and I'm really glad that you liked it!


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Review #27, by Harry_Potter_MomThe Adventure of Dudley Dursley: Epilogue: A New Professor at Hogwarts

7th March 2008:
Me again! I like the wrap-up and believe it or not - I think this is really, really good - not too filled with facts! =] It flowed very nicely!

Nice to see the future of Dudley and Hannah!

Oh ... I forgot to ask ... in the other chapters where Dudley was learning from the axe, it reminded me of the Horcrux of the locket - as though it was whispering secrets to Dudley (little creepy). Did that have any bearing on this story or just simply the way you imagined it? Either way is good! =]

Keep writing! And let me know if you have any questions! (Look me up on my authors page or pm me) ALSO ... let me know if you write something else! Esp along these lines!

Good Luck!

Author's Response: Thank you for your many LONG and helpful reviews. I love getting feedback, so its been great to have you read this over and give me your opinion. Hmm, in regards to learning from the ax, I kind of pictured it being almost like a beam of light striking him in the face, and when he awoke, he had all this knowledge. If you've seen the Matrix, its almost like that. There is a flash, and suddenly Neo knows Kung Fu. Except, I really can't have Dudley say, "I know Kung Fu" in a goofy Keaneu Reeves accent. Soo, that is the sort of mental image that I had (although I actually just thought of the matrix thing now to explain it). I'll let you know once my next story gets approved! Thanks for all your help and for sticking with me through the story!!

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Review #28, by Harry_Potter_MomThe Adventure of Dudley Dursley: The Final Battle and Its Aftermath

7th March 2008:
Hello again!

Yes, I intend to 'finish it out' :) Again, I would say that by adding a lot more description (not necessarily detail) but more to how Dudley was feeling while Hannah was gone and tid bits like that, it would really help the flow.

Like I've said before, you've got your plot down fine - no problems there. It almost reads like an encyclopedia - fast and filled with facts. Add more emotion and that will easily balance out. You've probably got a full novel-length story here jam-packed into a novella. =]

Also - a big tip I was given - there should be a new paragraph each time someone new is speaking. You've got a lot of paragraphs with both Dudley and Hannah talking (to each other) but you need to split those up. That may also force you to add a bit more emotional detail to them. =]

I'm glad Dudley got the opportunity to see Harry in at Hogwarts. Forgiveness is sweet...

I did however, cringe, when Dudley called Hannah 'Hon' ... ewww... I don't know. That seems a bit much. I get "Dud" as the shortened version of Dudley obviously, but it does make him sound more unintelligent than the name Dudley - if that's possible. But "Hon" coming from Dudley... LOL

What might have been funny is to have Dudley and Hannah walking off (to apparate home) and Hermione following Dudley bombarding him with questions, scolding herself for not having quill and parchment handy - and of course, he having really no idea who she is... LOL

Overall, again, I really like the story and glad you've done it =] On to the Epilogue

Author's Response: Thanks for the complements. I do plan on including some of your suggestions to make it better, but it can't happen quite yet. Anyway, I love your idea of having Hermoine follow Dudley, and may actually throw that in there (with a tip of the cap to you, of course). As for Hon, well, I wrote that while channeling a former relationship, and that was a pet name that was used at the time. Oh well, I can only base it on how I see it. I guess I'm a mushy romantic at heart! Thanks again for the reviews!

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Review #29, by Harry_Potter_MomThe Adventure of Dudley Dursley: Chapter 10: Getting Adjusted

6th March 2008:
Wow... there was a TON of stuff going on in this chapter. Again, I would have enjoyed it being spread out a bit. It seemed rushed somehow.

And a BIG discrepency... in chapter 4, you say that Hannah is a Hufflepuff "But Hannah, as a Hufflepuff, was determined to spend her time in exile well,..." where as in this chapter you refer to her as being in Ravenclaw, "Hannah looked at him in awe, amazed that he knew so much magic, and the Ravenclaw part of her personality was fascinated..." She is, in fact, a Hufflepuff...

Try not to rush things... you've got lots of description, but throwing it all out at once may not be as effective as smaller bites. Just my opinion. =]

Still reading =]

Author's Response: AHHH! How did I do that? No, wait, I mean that was TOTALLY intentional, and meant to imply that she was considered for Ravenclaw! *looks around, realizes that no one is buying it...* Ok, I better fix that!

Thanks again for the hint. I think part of the problem was that I came back to write that chapter after being away from the story for about a month, and so I had a lot of ideas and just got them all down. Maybe I can add some more in to try and slow the pace a bit. Although, its hard to strike a balance, because I want you to be scrolling as fast as you can read to keep up with the pace (aka a page-turner!).

Thanks for reviewing once again, and I hope you finish up the story with me!!

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Review #30, by Harry_Potter_MomThe Adventure of Dudley Dursley: Chapter 9: Finding the Ax of Coifi

6th March 2008:
This was a nice chapter... like Dudley was having confessional =]

I'm glad Hannah was there with him when he found the axe. Now... what will he do with it?

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing again! What do you think will happen with the ax? You'll have to keep reading to find out! Mwahahah!

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Review #31, by Harry_Potter_MomThe Adventure of Dudley Dursley: Chapter 7: Portal to the Past

6th March 2008:
=[ I wish Langford hadn't died. That seemed really fast and harsh.

I would like to have seen this chapter expanded and although you gave details about the 'technical parts' such as the dream and the fight (in the past), the emotion and detail about Hannah and Dudley don't seem to be as strong.

You've got your backstory down really well, and that's sometimes rare in a fanfic, so kudos for that!

=] I have to keep reading! I want to know what the axe will do and where it's at!

Author's Response: Yea, killing Langford can come off as a bit rough, but there was a reason for it. It was supposed to illustrate both how much Lang cared about the souls of those who were trapped and how he was willing to trade his life to free them. It actually is loosly based on a cool piece of mythology at my college regarding an exorcism and I took the idea of self-sacrafice and worked it in here. I know its sad, but I thought it might highlight the level of difficulty involved in the quest. Plus, I love Langford, so it was hard to kill him!

Thanks for the hint on improving the emotion around Dudley and Hannah. I'll see if I can't go back and tweak those parts! Keep the reviews coming if you will, as I love them!!

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Review #32, by Harry_Potter_MomThe Adventure of Dudley Dursley: Chapter Five: Dinner and an Unexpected Development

6th March 2008:
This is my favorite so far! Love the tiny spark of romance at the end... very nicely done!

I've never rooted for Dudley on anything ... until now.

Hmm... wonder what the lights in the church were - the axe or wizards - or something different...

Again, very nice! =]

Author's Response: Yea, to be totally honest, I didn't intend to have them get together, but, I guess I'm a romantic at heart and when I was writing this story, it just sort of wrote itself. Good guess on the lights at the church! Thanks again for reviewing!!

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Review #33, by Harry_Potter_MomThe Adventure of Dudley Dursley: Chapter Three: A Joining of Worlds

6th March 2008:
Very nice! I love that Dudley has turned a new leaf and is willing to help not only his elderly neighbor, but also "Susan" aka Hannah.


Author's Response: I'm glad that you like it! Thanks for the kind words, and I'm glad that you seem to be enjoying it!

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Review #34, by Harry_Potter_MomThe Adventure of Dudley Dursley: The Beginning

6th March 2008:
Hello! :) I saw your requests for a review listed with other authors and your summary intrigued me... I've always wondered what became of the Dursleys after they left that fateful night.

Glad you took this story on. It seems to flow really well and I don't see any major errors, but one small one in 7th paragraph "The Durseys would live in the village" - it should be Dursleys (with an 'l').

Gosh, other than that, good job! I had a little chuckle about the 'Headless Hockey' :) Good way to wrap it up.


Author's Response: Thanks so much for joining up! Its hard to get people to come read about Dudley because everyone hates him! Seriously, no one holds him in a good light, and I thought it would be cool to try and get him to turn around! Thanks for telling me about the typo, and thanks for the kind review!!

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Review #35, by Harry_Potter_MomThe Proposal: Epilogue

4th March 2008:
The entire story was extremely interesting and I'm glad I read it all! :)

From an American perspective, there are quite a number of spelling/grammatical errors, but I want to say that even with those, it was a lovely story.

It's different than the 'typical' Dramione story.

I didn't like the whole 'married but cheating' line. Draco, yes, I can see that happening but Hermione is such a stickler for rules, regulations, and traditions that I really don't feel she would do that. (though I realize at the beginning you clearly state that this is many years later)

I do hope you do another story following this... :)

Author's Response: I'm sorry about the spelling and grammatical errors, in that field I'm still learning how to improve.

About them being married and cheating, you might have a point that Hermione loves traditions and regulations, but they do talk about this already before they're married and clearly state that their marriage is only on paper and that they in reality can do whatever they want with whomever they want.

I have another story that will be up soon about Draco and Hermione, but it's not a sequel to or has anything to do with this one.

Thank you for reading it all, and I'm really glad you seemed to like it:)

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Review #36, by Harry_Potter_MomGone: Gone

2nd March 2008:
Ah ha! You DO write Dramione! Yes, yes... I know, you SAY she's going back to Ron, but is she really? LOL

Very cute and a good glimpse of emotions without dragging out, rushing, OR getting mature (kudos).

Thanks for my Dramione fix for the day! {hugs}

And yes, I was correct ... I have children your age (and older - and younger) :)

Author's Response: She is going back to Ron! I swear!!

Aww! Thanks so much for the awesome review!

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Review #37, by Harry_Potter_MomFriction in the Space Between: Chapter One - An Ice Cold Gaze

25th February 2008:
Hello - just popping in to read your first chapter. :)

Draco seems really dark right now - almost over the top - but after suffering his mother's death by his father's hands, I'm sure that pushed him over the edge.

I'm curious why he regards Pansy in such a negative light (hmmm...) Again, I'm sure we'll find out a little later.

Wow... Harry and Hermione need a cure... hmmm, another mystery! :)

Okay ... there were only a couple of little things that I saw.
1. You have Pansy refer to the new house-elf as "Sissy" but in the next sentance (and the remainder of the chapter) her name become "Sicily". Is this a typo? Does Pansy not know the house-elf's name (or doesn't care)?

2. You make reference to Draco's "Dad" - Draco, to me, is a very proper person - albeit dark and brooding - but proper nonetheless, so I think he may think of Lucius as "Father" instead. Just a thought.

Other than that, it's coming along - I'm going to mark it so I can follow it! :)

Good job.

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Review #38, by Harry_Potter_MomGive Up This Fight: The Love Potion

25th February 2008:
Here I am again ... reading when I should be working (but I can't tear myself away!)

Ahhh, poor Merope, I do think a tiny bit of love already existed between she and Tom, yet she couldn't wait for it to blossom on its own ... and now, will he be angry that she is a peasant or angry that he wasn't given a choice?

On to the next chapter!


Author's Response: Yay! I'm so excited that you're enjoying it enough to read it while at work! It's wonderful to hear the places that my reviewers are reading the story in ... work, school, a coffee shop, the bus, the toilet ... :D

There was definitely a lot of infatuation on his part, and obviously love and worship on hers. Who knows what might have happened had she allowed their friendship to blossom? I don't think it would have come to anything much though - I suspect that he may have gone through the wedding with Cecilia. Eventually he might have listened to his guilt for befriending a peasant and overcome it by marrying someone else and traveling away.

I see him as teetering on the edge of something, not knowing whether to jump or go back, and the love potion was kind of the final push that sent him off the cliff. Merope needed to use it to get things in motion, for sure.

Well, inevitably he will be angry. I think anyone would be angry if they were forced to "love" someone against their will ... but that's a chapter for the future.

Thanks for your reviews Teresa, I enjoyed reading them so much! :)

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Review #39, by Harry_Potter_MomGive Up This Fight: An Interlude To Love

25th February 2008:
This is an amazing story ... I should have left a review for each chapter!

My absolute favorite phrase ... "And when his eyes met Merope's, the look they exchanged was like the ghost of a kiss, breathless in its nonexistence." Perfection.

I can't wait to see where this is going. I feel terrible for Tom right now - having to choose between duty and love. Again, before reading this story ... I was sure I wouldn't like Tom, but you've cast a light on him that casts him completely differently. Thank you for sharing your vision with us.

And yes :) I guessed correctly about Bethe, but I too was confused about her last name - nicely done!

On to the next chapter!


Author's Response: Hi again Teresa :D I'm glad you came back!

Yeah haha I didn't want them rushing into anything yet, so that sentence was as close as I wanted it to get to an actual kiss. Glad you liked it :)

Tom is in quite the quandary but he doesn't love Merope; he is just attracted and feels a connection to her at this point. I'm happy that you've been able to see him in a different light; he's definitely just a human being, after all. :)

Good job on your shrewd guess about Bethe! :) The last name was a little tricky though.

Thank you for another great review!

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Review #40, by Harry_Potter_MomGive Up This Fight: Through Different Eyes

15th February 2008:
This is an amazing story thus far! I'm shocked that it's your first (I'm writing my first as well, but I must say, yours is far better!)

I never even thought about Merope, but through your eyes ... wow!

And Bethe (interesting spelling) - Great OC character!

The details are nicely done - just enough to where we can picture what is happening, but not crammed down our throats.

I'm adding this to my favorites as I can't finish the rest right now, but I'll be back! :)

Again, great job!


Author's Response: Hi Teresa!! Thanks for coming by! :)

It is indeed my first fanfiction, but I would be lying if I told you this were my first attempt at writing ... it isn't. I've been writing stories for quite a long time so I've been able to channel that experience into Harry Potter. Gotta love combining two things I enjoy! :)

I agree with you, Merope always seems to be stuck at the back of the closet, doesn't she? One of the things I love most about writing this story is exploring a part of Harry Potter that not many people have explored, and expanding it fully. Merope struck a chord with me the first time I read HBP, and I wanted to write a full novel about her as a tribute. After all, she is Voldemort's mother!

Thanks for your nice review, and for favoriting my story! I'm glad I could entertain you, and please take your time! I really hope you enjoy the rest. :)

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Review #41, by Harry_Potter_MomUnderneath The Mistletoe: Underneath The Mistletoe

8th February 2008:
That was a really great story! I love the way you've included all of the Weasley's and add a great mix of holiday "chaos" which is exactly what would go on in the Weasley house. Hugo is darling, and the 'talks' between Hermione and Ron are perfectly done!

Very nice overall! Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Thank you very much! :)

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Review #42, by Harry_Potter_MomDesire and Demise: A New Connection

7th February 2008:
Oooo... Hr/Dr ... gee, how did you know I love these stories? (lol)

Very, very nice writing style! I love the description of the grounds, and especially "The trees showed their strength by holding up the snow that clung to their branches, ..." Perfect!

I'll definitely keep reading!


Author's Response: Haha. Good guess? (;

And thanks so much! I'm glad you're enjoying it.

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